Gabby Bernstein: Checking In, Not Out

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Nikki & Brie Show – Gabby Bernstein: Checking In, Not Out

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Nikki & Brie Show
• Host/Author: SiriusXM
• Episode Title: Gabby Bernstein: Checking In, Not Out
• Release Date: July 14, 2025

---

Introduction to Gabby Bernstein and Her Latest Work

In this enlightening episode, Nikki and Brie welcome Gabby Bernstein, a New York Times best-selling author, spiritual teacher, and a renowned voice in personal transformation and spirituality. Gabby introduces her 10th book, Self Help. This is Your Chance to Change Your Life, which has already impacted millions worldwide by empowering individuals to discover clarity, courage, and connection.

Notable Quote:

Gabby Bernstein [02:10]: "This book I wrote for the reader first... it's based on a therapy that I practiced in my own therapy for a decade and also became trained in."

---

Exploring Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)

Gabby delves deep into Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, explaining its profound impact on her personal growth and how it serves as the foundation for her book. She emphasizes the importance of befriending the parts of oneself that are traumatized, such as inner children, and unburdening these parts to foster healing.

Key Points:

• IFS Therapy focuses on the inner family of parts within an individual.
• These parts often develop as protection mechanisms in response to childhood trauma, both big and small.
• Healing involves connecting with these parts compassionately and accessing one's self-energy—a state of being that is clear, calm, connected, and creative.

Notable Quote:

Gabby Bernstein [06:06]: "When we start to heal those parts of ourselves, the reactivity and the patterns... start to change and we start to feel less reactive and much more safe inside."

---

The Power and Continuity of Self-Help

Nikki inquires whether self-help practices lead to permanent healing or if continual effort is required. Gabby responds affirmatively to both, highlighting that while self-help can create lasting change, ongoing work ensures that personal growth remains manageable and enjoyable.

Notable Quote:

Gabby Bernstein [07:12]: "We can absolutely heal those parts for good... But we are always shining the crystal."

---

Manifestation and Belief Systems

Gabby discusses the relationship between self-help and manifestation, asserting that belief systems play a crucial role in what individuals manifest in their lives. By healing and changing limiting beliefs, people can better align with their desires and attract positive outcomes.

Notable Quote:

Gabby Bernstein [10:49]: "Self help is actually the most important manifesting book I've ever written... we have to change and heal the belief systems."

---

Practical Exercise: The Check-In Process

To provide listeners with actionable insights, Gabby guides Nikki and Brie through a four-step check-in process designed to address the people-pleaser parts of themselves. This exercise aims to foster self-regulation, compassion, and connection with one's inner parts.

The Four Steps:

1. Choose to Check In: Focus attention inward to acknowledge the part.
2. Become Curious: Explore where this part resides in the body and what thoughts or feelings arise.
3. Compassionately Connect: Ask the part what it needs and offer compassionate understanding.
4. Check In Again: Assess the shift in feelings and presence of self-energy qualities like calmness and clarity.

Notable Quote:

Gabby Bernstein [26:55]: "Everything is happening around me, and I'm truly taken care of."

---

Integrating Self-Help with Parenting and Spirituality

Brie shares how self-help practices enhance her parenting, allowing her to be present and compassionate with her children. Gabby expands on this by linking self-help to spiritual growth, explaining that as individuals heal internally, they naturally become more spiritually connected and aligned with the universe.

Notable Quotes:

Gabby Bernstein [33:49]: "Self is spiritual energy. So the more self help you do, the more spiritually connected you are to the universe."

Brie [30:07]: "I love it. It's so good. I need to do that."

---

Gabby’s Spiritual Journey and Practices

Gabby recounts her lifelong spirituality, stemming from childhood experiences with meditation and spiritual teachings. She identifies as a medium, capable of sensing spiritual energies, which deepens her connection to the mystic aspects of life. This spirituality intertwines with her self-help philosophy, emphasizing the integration of spiritual and personal growth.

Notable Quote:

Gabby Bernstein [31:54]: "Self is spiritual energy... the more you self help, the more spiritually connected you are."

---

Closing Thoughts and Inspirational Affirmations

As the conversation concludes, Gabby offers an affirmation tailored to support the people-pleaser aspect within individuals:

Affirmation:

"Everything is happening around me, and I'm truly taken care of."

She encourages listeners to undertake a self-help challenge, fostering daily practices that promote self-regulation and spiritual alignment.

Notable Quote:

Gabby Bernstein [43:06]: "The wound is the place where the light enters you."

---

Conclusion

In this episode, Gabby Bernstein provides profound insights into self-help practices and IFS Therapy, offering practical tools for personal and spiritual transformation. Through compassionate self-interaction and conscious healing of internal parts, listeners are empowered to lead more balanced, fulfilling, and spiritually connected lives.

---

Join the Self-Help Challenge:
Listeners are invited to participate in Gabby's Trust the Universe Challenge available through her app, encouraging daily engagement with self-help practices to harness personal growth and spiritual alignment.

Transcript

[Nikki]

Pack your bags, ladies. That's right.

[Brie]

Because Denver is the place for you and the besties to treat yourself.

[Nikki]

That is right. Plan the perfect summer getaway and discover Denver.

[Brie]

Just five minutes from downtown, Cherry Creek is Denver's ultimate girls getaway.

[Nikki]

With over 300 stores, 75 restaurants, 50 spas and five hotels between Cherry Creek north and Cherry Creek Shopping Center. It's all shopping bags and unforgettable memories.

[Brie]

Explore the Mile High City's museums like the Denver Art Museum, the Museum of Contemporary Art, Denver Museo de las Americas.

[Nikki]

And for theater lovers, be sure to check out the Denver Performing Arts Complex and catch a Broadway show.

[Brie]

Foodies, rejoice. Indulge in Michelin Star meals or grab casual bites at Denver Central Market or La Diabla's Taco Window.

[Nikki]

Sounds good. And love the outdoors. Hike, bike or paddle through scenic park or catch a sunrise yoga or concert at Red Rocks.

[Brie]

Then rock out at night at Ball arena or local music venues across the city.

[Nikki]

Sounds like a good time, Brie.

[Brie]

Oh, yes, it does.

[Nikki]

Ready to see it for yourself?

[Brie]

Start your [e-mail] Discover summer's here and the sun is shining. You need powerful protection that feels light on your skin. Meet Neutrogena Ultra sheer sunscreen. This SPF 70 lotion absorbs fast with a smooth, dry touch finish so you'll forget you're even wearing it. It blocks 97% of burning UV rays and is water resistant for up to 80 minutes. Lightweight, effective and perfect for sunny days is just what your summer needs. Neutrogena Ultra Shear Sunscreen. You can't feel. Shop now at Target.

[Nikki]

All right, everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Nikki and Bri show and we are super excited for today's episode. So today our guest is a number one New York Times best selling author, spiritual teacher and one of the most inspiring voices in personal transformation and spirituality today. She's now published her 10th book titled Self Help. This is your chance to change your life and has reached millions globally, empowering individuals everywhere to find clarity, courage and connection. Gabby Bernstein, welcome to the Nikki and Bri Show.

[Gabby Bernstein]

What's up, ladies? It's so good to be with you.

[Brie]

Oh, no. Yes.

[Nikki]

No. We're so excited to have you here. Bri and I, we are so obsessed with you on Instagram.

[Brie]

Oh my gosh.

[Nikki]

We love watching all your reels. I ordered your book. I just, I love everything about you. You make the days start right or give us those really good aha moments when we need them, which we need a lot.

[Brie]

Yeah, you definitely on our power walks.

[Nikki]

When we get a little negative, right.

[Brie]

You can. You change the mood very quickly, which is just so inspiring. And you know, Nikki and I, we want to just start off with your new book. I mean, the fact that. Wow. Number 10, self help, which we actually heard from some other celebrities, how much they love this book. They actually recommended it to us. Kristin Cavalieri. Yeah. And Nikki and I, we both were wondering what inspired you to write this book? Was it off of personal experience? Maybe a challenge? What inspired you?

[Gabby Bernstein]

Well, first of all, I'm so glad that you guys get into a higher vibe when you listen to me. That makes me so like, that's mission accomplished. I'm so happy. But with regard to the book, this is my 10th book, as you mentioned, and the other books previous prior to this one, I feel like I wrote for myself. I wrote those books in some way to heal myself. And then I knew as a result of healing myself, they were gonna have an impact on when it comes to self help. I'd actually experienced the gift of that healing before even writing the book. And it was such a strong experience of healing inside of me that I knew I had to share that with the reader. So this book I wrote for the reader first, I'd already experienced the miracle, and it's based on a therapy that I practiced in my own therapy for a decade and also became trained in. It's called internal family systems therapy. And the therapy, and I'll explain it all to you, but the therapy changed my life so much and it radically transformed the way that I experienced myself, the way that I experienced others, the way that I reacted to situations, the addictive processes in my life, the, the. The parts of myself that were so burdened and extreme. And it radically transformed all these parts of myself that it became really clear to me and that I had to translate it, demystify it, and in some way democratize this work for people who may not find that therapeutic path, because not everybody's going to want to go to therapy. They may not be able to afford therapy and they may not be able to find an IFS therapist. So I got trained in it and with the blessing of the founder, was gifted this opportunity to make it a self help practice that people could safely do anywhere, anytime, and experience the gifts of the, of the model that is the origin story of the book. But the, but the why, right? This is a therapy. It's based on a therapy, it's a self help practice, but it's based on a therapy. And the therapy really is about unburdening and befriending the parts of yourself that are so traumatized, the young, the inner children inside of us. And if you've ever said, you know, a part of me gets outraged when my partner does this, or a part of me is really controlling, or a part of me is constantly trying to. People, please. We have these parts of ourselves. Do you guys know those parts of yourselves?

[Nikki]

Oh, yeah, yeah, we've worked at the same time.

[Brie]

Yeah.

[Nikki]

The shadow work.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Right?

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

And so as we start to think about those parts, how long do you think those parts of you have been around?

[Nikki]

Oh, I mean, since I would. Toddler.

[Brie]

Yeah, I would say for sure. Definitely. Childhood.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yeah. Often we'll say forever. As long as I could remember since I was a kid. And so the reactive behaviors and patterns that we have, the addictions, the triggers, they're all based on these younger, wounded parts of ourselves. And when we start to heal those parts of ourselves, the reactivity and the patterns and the beliefs and the behaviors that block our life start to change and we start to feel less reactive and much more safe inside.

[Nikki]

Yeah. And Gabby, I have a question about that. Do you feel we can heal those parts of us for good or we like, as we start to do the self help work and we start to get better, are we going to always have something come up every now and then, nurture it? Yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Well, the answer is yes and yes. So we can absolutely heal those parts for good. They for me, I can. I wouldn't have made the subtitle of the book. This is your chance to change your life. If I didn't mean it, I mean it right. This, this process changed my life because it changed the way that I perceive myself and the way that I react and the way that I feel inside. Does that mean that I don't have more work to do? No. I'm always shining the crystal. So the answer is yes, it can change you forever and yes, you're going to still want to keep working on yourself. Yeah. It's just that work becomes easier and it becomes more fun and it becomes feel. Feeling of desire rather than a feeling like a chore.

[Nikki]

Totally. I feel like Brie and I have been really good about working on ourself, I would say for the past eight years. And what, where I have noticed is that when certain things have come up in my life, big traumas, I've now known how to handle them or adapt or heal. Where I never knew how to do that before, I would just hold it in and just try to Keep going. And so that's where I was like, okay, this is where I see the payoff and how I have to continue. Because what I've realized is I still get triggers. Not as much, but I still allow things to bother me. And I'm like, okay, wait, take a second. This is where it's coming from. This is why. So I, I still have a lot more work to do.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Well, I think what you're saying is the actual miracle of self help. My cat's here now you're.

[Brie]

I love it.

[Nikki]

I love that.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Come on, come on. What you're going to hear is the miracle of self help is what you said. Because the miracle of self help is that when you start to do this type of inner interconnected work, you start to heal you. It's not that your triggers go away, it's that you just are less triggered. And eventually they do go away. They can go away. And the other thing is that you also just have. It's not that your experiences outside of yourself change right away, but they do ultimately. But your experience of your experience changes. So you might have that person in your life that, that once mo made you insane. Right. And then now they may be doing the exact same thing. You just don't give a shit anymore. You know, you're just okay now. And that's the miracle that that is. I believe what you're kind of describing here and how you're, how you're experiencing these changes.

[Nikki]

Definitely. And do you. Because I, I feel like this would be great for people to know and the importance of self help until we start to heal these parts of us. Do you feel we block ourselves from that energy of like the universe or what we're meant to be and our purpose and what comes to us?

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yeah, exactly. We do. I've actually held that book up, self help, and I've stood in front of thousands of people and I've said, how many of you read my book super Attractor? Like, everybody raised their hand. How many have read the universe has your back? Everybody raises their hand. How many have read self help? Like 5% of the room raised their hand. They're all like the front row seats that like got there early, you know. And I laugh and I'm like, you guys are missing the miracle. Because self help is actually the most important manifesting book I've ever written. Because the real reason we don't manifest is because we have beliefs that block what we desire. We manifest what we believe. And the only way to genuinely attract our desires and keep those Desires intact in our life is to change and heal the belief systems. Because what we believe is the energy that we put out. So if we're believing something that is not in alignment with what we want, we're going to keep attracting what. What we don't want.

[Brie]

Wow, that hits.

[Nikki]

It does hit.

[Brie]

That's actually incredible. I mean, I'm right. When we get off this call, I'm going to be. I love reading, so I think I'll be finishing it by tonight. I know I have. Yeah, I have one.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Good. But I'm going to start Kristen. Kristen's out there talking about something. I know, you know, she's someone too who's really committed to doing inner work.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

And. And I. It's beautiful to witness and I think, you know, look, a lot of people want a quick fix. I don't really believe that's. That's an option. I do believe that you could listen to an audio or somebody on Instagram and feel better. I believe that energy, the energy of a frequency of someone's voice or someone's message, even in a quick hit of Instagram or something quickly can actually soothe you or settle you or inspire you. I believe that. But the real change is going to come with the repetition of a new behavior and a new belief system and a healing on the inside.

[Brie]

I love hosting, especially the holidays. But my other favorite time to host is. Is summertime. I'm talking backyard decorating the table, having everyone over for a yummy lunch. It's literally one of my favorite times.

[Nikki]

Honestly, there's nothing like entertaining in summertime. Brie, I so agree with you. And if you're having a backyard get together, Wayfair's your one stop shop for outdoor entertaining.

[Brie]

Ooh. So you mean like cookout? Like we can shop patio tables, grills, dishware. Ooh, even the fun pool parties that we do. So get some lounge chairs, day beds, umbrellas. I mean, Nikki, what about a game night?

[Nikki]

Yes, game night. And Brie Wayfair's got. Got cornhole croquet and string lights to set the scene.

[Brie]

Ooh. I mean, there's something for every style in every home, no matter your space or budget.

[Nikki]

Oh, yes. And it's free and easy delivery, even on the big stuff.

[Brie]

No more huge delivery fees for patio furniture. Get big stuff like patio sets, gazebos, hot tubs, outdoor dining sets and more shipped free.

[Nikki]

That's incredible. I think I need to go online right now, get some stuff for a cookout, definitely for some summertime fun, because you are definitely coming over I'm gonna treat you to a little barbecue.

[Brie]

That is right. And you know what? We do have 4th of July coming up, and we all love getting together.

[Nikki]

Okay? So also get the cornhole. Put that in.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yep.

[Brie]

You gotta get on there fast, girls. So shop outdoor furniture, grills, lawn games, and way more for way less.

[Nikki]

Head to Wayfair.com right now to explore a huge outdoor selection.

[Brie]

That's. That's W A Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. Summer's here and the sun is shining. You need powerful protection that fills light on your skin. Meet Neutrogena Ultra sheer sunscreen. This SPF 70 lotion absorbs fast with a smooth, dry touch finish, so you'll forget you're even wearing it. It blocks 97% of burning UV rays and is water resistant for up to 80 minutes. Lightweight, effective, and perfect for sunny days is just what your summer needs. Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Sunscreen. You can't feel shop now at Target. Oh, I agree. And I feel like constantly we are. Something new is coming up. Like, I mean, I was living my 20s before social media. All of a sudden, boom, social media comes and that then all of a sudden gives this huge effect to your life. And then I'm like, oh, now I got to deal with my mental health around this. So it constantly. Or like getting divorced or something. Like, you always have something new that happens in your life. And so I feel like once you get. Once you learn how to handle these big traumas, it's crazy how life becomes easier to get through. But you. But earlier you were talking about the internal family systems therapy. Can you briefly explain to our listeners what that is?

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yeah, definitely. So. So it's not about your external family. It's about the inner family of parts of who you are inside. So those little inner children that we were talking about, and so as we were kids, we all experienced some form of trauma with a big T or a small T, right? So you may have had a big T trauma where a family maybe of your parent was an alcoholic or you had an attachment breach, or you experienced extreme trauma, or you may have had a small T trauma where you were bullied on the playground or you were told you were stupid by your teacher, but these are traumas nonetheless. And in those moments when we experienced these big emotional disturbances as children, we did not have the emotional resilience inside to process those experiences. And most often we did not have a parent or a caregiver that was qualified or Able or even aware to help us process. Even the best parents would have said, you're fine, you're fine, get over it, you'll move on, you're going to be okay. And messages sent a message to the little kid, oh, I gotta figure this out. I have to protect myself. So what did we do? We started protecting. And those protection mechanisms are those parts of ourselves that are the people pleasers, the controllers, the addicts, the, the, the perfectionists, the, the people, the part of us that numbs out. We learned those patterns and behaviors at a really young age as a form of protection and to protect against that, that feeling of being unlovable, of being inadequate, of not being good enough. And those feelings, those deep feelings in ifs, those are called the exiles. We said, no, I don't want to feel those parts of myself. I never want to experience that again. I'm going to shut it down, lock it up and start protecting. And we've been protecting ourselves ever since. And so the process in IFS and in the self help practice in the book is about befriending the protection mechanisms and helping those protectors feel your compassion and feel your connection and feel your curiosity and your clarity and access what's called self. And self is your clear, calm, connected, creative truth of who you are. And so the four steps help these parts settle down. I can, I'll teach it to you, we'll get through it.

[Nikki]

I love that.

[Brie]

Yeah, it's actually even interesting to be a parent and I feel like even to learn that to how to be with our kids because, and I do, I've always tried to be really mindful of, you know, not ever saying like, it's going to be okay like to really let my kids express their feelings. And especially my son, he has big feelings and sometimes it's hard to deal with.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yeah, a big feeling kid too.

[Brie]

Yeah, it's exhausting, right? And I'm constantly like feeling like, okay, I want to say the right thing, I want to do the right thing because I don't want to traumatize him, like, but it can be exhausting. So I feel like taking this would really help just as a parent too.

[Gabby Bernstein]

It will, because what it will do is these four steps in the book and I can teach them to you. They're going to guide you to, to learn how to re parent yourself. And you'll access self energy, that energy of calm and connection and curiosity. And so the more access you have to self, the more self you can bring to your kid or both of your children. And the beauty there is. All your child needs is your self energy. They don't need you to say the right thing. They don't need you even to do the right thing. They just need your presence. They need you to be calm, curious, connected, creative, compassionate, confident, courageous. They need those c qualities. They need that inner healer that you have for yourself as well.

[Nikki]

It's so good to know because I'm just like you. I've become so mindful. And are we going to get to know those today? Those check ins?

[Gabby Bernstein]

Let's do it. Why don't we just dive in and do it?

[Nikki]

Yeah, I would love that.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Okay, cool. So do you guys, you guys can share or not share however you feel. Do you want to, do you want to speak back while we go through the process?

[Brie]

Yeah, for sure. We're open books.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yeah, exactly. And the listener can do this while we do it as well or the viewer. So what we're going to do is we're going to take that, Take one of the burden beliefs or patterns that you have. You know, maybe it's a part of you that you've identified. Maybe you identify as controlling. That's my one or one of mine. Maybe you identify as rageful. Maybe you identify as believing that you're not good enough or notice the belief or the pattern or behavior that you want to work with. Okay. Something that might feel extreme in your life that you want to, you want to address. And so for you guys, do you want to name them those parts of yourself?

[Brie]

I mean, I'm for sure a people pleaser, which can mean no boundaries. And I always put myself last. And sometimes I'm so exhausted at the end of the day because I feel like I have to say yes to everyone to make sure they're all happy.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Let's work with that people pleaser today. That's a good one to work with.

[Nikki]

That is a. That would be one of mine, but I'll do something else. I, I have that. And then I would say controlling. And then also the fear of being.

[Brie]

Alone.

[Nikki]

Like abandonment, like stuff.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Right. When you say maybe, which one do you want to work with today should we do?

[Nikki]

What do you think? Controlling?

[Brie]

What speaks to you more? Like what are you feeling right now?

[Nikki]

Well, it would have been the people pleaser.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Why don't we both do the people pleaser? I'm sure a lot of listeners even can identify with that. So let's go there. Okay. And like what I, what I like about that is for the sake of this book, we're not go and this practice right now, we're not going to the parts of ourselves that are the most traumatized. Right. We're going to the parts of ourselves that are around on a day to day basis that are kind of calling the shots, running our lives, making us a little bit nuts. We're going to go there first. We're not going to go right to the, the, you know, the, the child who was abused or something along those lines. You with me? So here we go. Let's go to the people pleaser. So the first step is to choose to check in with the people pleaser. Because typically when you're in people pleaser mode, you're actually checking out. You're like, I don't want to feel something, so I'm going to go people please, so I don't have to feel that. So instead of checking out, let's choose to check in. You guys have already done that because you've both said, I'm willing. Let's try this. Okay, so that's step one, but it's really just focusing your attention inside and choosing to check in with that part of yourself. Okay, so let me know. You can even close your eyes, ladies, if you feel comfortable. And let me know when you have a little access inside, when you notice that part of yourself, just say, yes, I've got it. I'm here.

[Brie]

Yes, I got it. I'm here.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Me too. Okay, cool. And now the second step is to become curious about the part. So this is where we're going to ask some questions to ask first. Where does that part of you live inside of your body? Where do you feel it?

[Brie]

I mean, I feel like I feel in my chest.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Me.

[Nikki]

It's a lot of my gut.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Okay. Very common. And are there any thoughts or feelings or sensations that come up for you when you tap in a little bit more?

[Nikki]

Well, for me what screams really loud is like why I can't ever say no. And it's. And why I can't stick up for myself. I have that fear, whether it's in business or personal career. I. That voice. I sometimes put her away because of the fear of pleasing.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Got it.

[Brie]

And it's weird, I feel like almost like a fuzziness and like, which almost would give me the feeling of feeling like, of an overwhelming filming feeling, which might be because I do say yes to a lot to kind of just make sure I can hit it all and do it all. But so I don't know like if it's.

[Gabby Bernstein]

That's perfect. Yeah. Describing the feeling is great. Are there Any images or memories or feelings or thoughts that come to your mind that you want to share more about that you've noticed.

[Brie]

I mean, I feel like. Like something that just, like, came to me right now is like, I. I feel like I say yes to so much. So my schedule's always just overloaded, and I never put in there and think, like, oh, you never say yes to just, like, maybe sitting with yourself in the afternoon and having some tea. Like, I want to make sure I'm pleasing everyone else by getting what they want done. But I never once asked myself, like, what would you like today? It's kind of like my first thing that popped in.

[Nikki]

And for me, it's like, if I make a decision and then I feel that so many people can come at me at that it was the wrong decision. And then I feel like I kind of just sink into myself instead of, like, stand tall in what I decided. And it makes me then feel bad because no one likes my decision, but I knew that was the right one for me, or I'm being pushed into making a decision that's like, that happened last week, and that's, like, the first feeling that comes up.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Got it. Okay, beautiful.

[Nikki]

Hey, everyone.

[Brie]

If you've been listening to the show the past few weeks, you've all heard us talking about the Airbnb Original Experience we hosted at our Speakeasy tasting room, Bonita Bonita. And let me tell you, we had so much fun.

[Nikki]

Oh, my goodness. So much fun. So, okay, we all were at, as Brie said, the Bonita Bonita tasting room Speakeasy. And it was so fun because everyone who was a part of the Airbnb Original Experience group started in a private tasting room with Brie and I. Well, of course, we greeted everyone with some champagne, but it was really fun because we all sat into the tasting together and we just chatted. We tasted Bonita Bonita. And then, of course, our next special treat that made it so original and such a fun experience was Bri. And I recorded an episode of the Nikki and Bri show live for all of them, which, if you haven't seen on YouTube, you can see it on YouTube. So literally, Bri and I are just doing a normal episode, but we have them set up beautifully right in front of us. And, of course, we kept the Bonita Bonita pouring. And you know what I really love about it is if you go listen or watch that episode, you get to hear all the laughs, and you just realize, like, how interactive it is. And it was just so much fun. I It felt like a live show for one.

[Brie]

I agree, but it was just.

[Nikki]

Just such a great time to connect with people.

[Brie]

Such a great time. And you know what? This summer, you're going to want to have experiences like this. So if you have summer travel plans coming up, discover your next local and authentic adventure on Airbnb. And be sure to visit airbnb.com Nikki and Bri to stay up to date for our next Airbnb original experience. Nikki, summer is in full swing. And guess what else is, too.

[Nikki]

Deals.

[Brie]

All the deals.

[Nikki]

I love summer deals. You know it.

[Brie]

And big news. It's Black Friday in July at Macy's.

[Nikki]

No way. Brie, are you serious? Yes.

[Brie]

And from July 23rd through July 27th, score 40 to 60 off all your summer essentials.

[Nikki]

Count me in. And you can also get 30 off select cologne sets, up to 70 off women's shoes, and up to to 55% off of designer sunglasses.

[Brie]

Plus snag Barbie and Hot Wheel toys for just 14.99. And Black and Decker small appliances starting at $24.99.

[Nikki]

All right, well, I know where I'm going to be shopping in July, so don't miss the Black Friday in July deals. Shop in store or@macy's.com.

[Gabby Bernstein]

How old are these parts of yourselves?

[Brie]

I mean, mine feels right now, like, more like, older. Like, as in, I say older, not like a child. Like more my 30s. And to here, now where I'm at.

[Gabby Bernstein]

How long has it been around?

[Brie]

Oh, I mean, I definitely feel like, you know, for decades.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Okay.

[Nikki]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Definitely young 20s, but maybe even before that.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Okay, so you feel like you guys have some connection to the part of you now. Yeah. Okay. Now, the third step is to compassionately connect. And this is where you want to ask the part, what do you need? And just ask inside, what do you need? And don't overthink it. Just. Just tell me what they need.

[Nikki]

Mind. Strength to stand firm in what you believe. Strength to say no. Strength to believe what you decided was right.

[Brie]

Yeah. And it's weird. Like, the first thing, like, I could hear was almost like, rest.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. These parts are young, so they want to, you know, they want to rest, they want to play. They want to feel good inside. Okay, now take a deep breath in and just send a message inside to that part that you're here and that you've heard it and that. Let them know I've heard them and that. That there's connection here. And take another really deep breath in to the part where you feel in your stomach or your chest and just feel into that and then let it go. Now just check in one more time as the fourth step and let me know how you feel. What do you, what do you notice inside?

[Nikki]

Feel lighter, more calm.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Brie]

And almost like heard in a way. Like allowing myself to just say it out loud and like knowing. And it just made it. It felt great. Like it feels like.

[Gabby Bernstein]

So you feel more calm, you feel heard, which is kind of connected to that part of you. Right. You feel more connected to it.

[Nikki]

It.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Do you feel compassion towards it? Oh yeah, yeah. Do you have more clarity about it?

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Do you feel curious to know more?

[Nikki]

Yes.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Oh yeah, yeah. And you feel the connection and do you feel the courage to get to know it a little bit more?

[Nikki]

I do, definitely.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yeah. Great. So you have accessed self. Self is that courage. Self is that curiosity. Self is that compassion. Self's the connection. Self is the clarity. Self is the creativity. When you start to feel those feelings towards those parts of yourself, then you know that self is inside acts and you know that self is helping the part. Yeah. So. So when your inner system starts to feel more calm, self energy is present. That's why this is called self help. I love that.

[Brie]

I love that.

[Gabby Bernstein]

So here's your homework, my friends. I love you guys. So the next time you notice yourself, like this afternoon or as soon as you get off with me, you want to go people please. Right. What I'm going to suggest you do is step away for just one minute and do the four steps. Choose to check in, be curious, you know, where is it in my body? Just notice what you notice inside. Compassionately connect, asking what do you need? And then check for the C qualities of self. What you'll do is you'll self regulate in that moment and you'll start to feel a little bit more calm and you'll feel a little bit more connected and less activated. And so the reason, remember the reason you're people pleasing is because you're overriding a deeper feeling. So if you just check in with the people pleaser instead of check out by people pleasing, that people pleaser can settle and feel safe inside. And then you don't have to do that thing, that is the reaction. You don't have to override yourself. You don't have to protect against the feelings that you don't want to feel because you've helped soothe yourself in that moment.

[Brie]

Wow, that's really great.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Brie]

And I need to do that. I need to do that.

[Nikki]

Need.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Just try doing it once A day for one minute. Why don't you guys do a little self help challenge? Actually, I'm putting a self help challenge into my app. I'm going to give you guys my cook, my Gabby coaching app. I'm going to put a self help challenge in there where like every day you do a different check in. And, but for right now, why don't you do it together like one minute should for 30 days.

[Brie]

And Gabby, when you do something like this, do you feel like, you feel like we'll get more clarity where we're at in our path and like the direction we're going in? Because sometimes I'll be honest, like, I think because I, I please so many other people that sometimes I'm like, wait, am I doing the right thing in my life? Like, am I on the right path? And I feel like that part of me, like kind of it gets blurred.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yeah. Remember, self energy is clarity too, with these sea qualities. So what happens is, is the more you check in with these parts and help them feel safe, the more self energy starts to emerge naturally. And there's this great IFS teacher named Stephen Kranz, and he has a quote that says, self is like the sun behind the clouds. And when the clouds begin to dissipate, the sun can emerge naturally. And so the protectors are the clouds. So the more you soften into these protectors and be compassionate and connected to them, they can relax and relax and the clouds start to dissipate and that self energy starts to emerge. So naturally you start to actually feel clear, you feel creative, you feel confident, you feel calmer, you feel connected to people, you feel more compassion for yourself, for others. Those sea qualities just start to become more and more expansive inside of you. And that's living in self.

[Brie]

That's great.

[Nikki]

Yeah. I have a question. When did you first feel like your spirituality? When did that come to you?

[Gabby Bernstein]

Well, I've always felt very spiritual from a very, very young age. When I was 6 and 7, my mom would bring me to the ashram. My mom was very spiritual and she'd bring us to her, you know, ashram to be, you know, named by the gurus. And I was taught to meditate as a child. And I grew up watching my mom walking into her, her bedroom and meditate and light incense and played mantra music and come out different, you know, she'd come out with a different energy. And so I've always sort of known, I've always sort of known that life is a spiritual life. And it was imprint, it was imprinted in me as a young child, much like I'm, you know, doing with my own son. Right. We talk about angels, we talk to our angels, we pray at night. And these kinds of gifts are given to us if, you know, in different forms. Right. Some people have religious, spiritual connection, or all forms of connection. So it was always there and always present for me. But I've also really recognized that I'm a medium as well. So I've always been able to sense spirit around me, so I could sense energies and sense my intuition is not just my intuition, but also guidance beyond my logic and reason. And especially when I'm speaking or when I'm writing, I just begin to let go and allow. And so that spiritual veil has always been very thin, that veil between this world and the spiritual realm. And I've always known what that means to me and believed in it wholeheartedly and never an unwavering, unshakable faith. And the more that I've developed as a human, the more safe I feel in my human condition, the more spiritually aware I am and even the more spiritually connected I am. And because, you know, self, like we were talking about before, self is spiritual energy. So the more self help you do, the more spiritual energy you have, the more connected you are to the universe, to the spiritual realm, to the mystic, mystical side of the world that we don't often let ourselves experience.

[Nikki]

Yes, it's so true. When I'm like, at those points in my life and how clear I see and things I feel and the downloads and because I've always feel like we've had a little part of that, and we've always felt that. And it kind of hit us the most at 18 because we were raised super religious and we still have a religion, but we. It was like 18 when spirituality came to us. And. And it's crazy that when I let myself be still for a while and I. And I keep my temple very pure and clean, it's just crazy, like, how life can look so different. It's amazing.

[Brie]

This podcast is brought to you by Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues. Okay, everyone, summer is coming to an end, which means it's back to school time time. But what else does that mean? Oh, the kids coming home with running noses.

[Nikki]

I mean, illnesses, colds, all the symptoms, right? But, hey, Bri, I'm not worried. And I know you're not worried because Kleenex has our back.

[Brie]

Oh, yes, it does. It's the beginning of a new school year and also the classroom sniffles and sneezes that come along with it.

[Nikki]

So from home to school and back, stock up with Kleenex Ultra soft tissue.

[Brie]

Start the school year off the right way by preparing for the messes that come with it.

[Nikki]

You don't want to be caught without a tissue on hand. To help.

[Brie]

Kleenex ultra soft tissues are soft and absorbent to stand up against runny noses to keep you and your family clean and comforted. As a school year starts this back.

[Nikki]

To school season, make sure to get the classroom essential that teachers and students can rely on for whatever happens next.

[Brie]

Grab Kleenex next. Nikki. Summer is in full swing. And guess what else is too.

[Nikki]

Deals.

[Brie]

All the deals.

[Nikki]

I love summer deals. You know it.

[Brie]

And big news. It's Black Friday in July at Macy's.

[Nikki]

No way. Brie, are you serious? Yes.

[Brie]

And from July 23rd through July 27th, score 40 to 60 off all your summer essentials.

[Nikki]

Count me in. And you can also get get 30% off select cologne sets, up to 70% off women's shoes, and up to 55% off of designer sunglasses.

[Brie]

Plus snag Barbie and Hot wheel toys for just 14.99. And Black and Decker small appliances starting at $24.99.

[Nikki]

All right, well, I know where I'm going to be shopping in July, so don't miss the Black Friday in July deals. Shop in store or@macy's.com.

[Gabby Bernstein]

And I have to be honest, you know, it's the same for me, right? I can get very hooked into the stories of the world very easily. And thankfully, I have all these tools and practices to bring myself back. And, you know, recently I did this 21 day trust the universe challenge that I put inside my, into my app. I did it myself. Like, I was like, you know what? I'm out of alignment. Like, this isn't feeling good. Let me get back into, get back to basics. And so I went and I did my own challenge. I listened to myself every morning, and within 21 days, it was like the sky, you know, the sky parted. It was like synchronicities and so much support. And I went into the challenge wanting to feel more support, and it was like, boom, boom, boom. You know, support from people, support, you know, just. Just crazy things. Just even like the, the parking spots and the, you know, walking into the hotel and saying, can I have an upgrade? And they're like, we've already upgraded you. You know, just things like this, like, just small things, big things, but big, most importantly, that connection to the, to the universe. And, and so I just think that right now we're living in, in such shaky times, in times that are so quite tragic and alarming and we're on the precipice of just extreme change with AI and extreme change with, with, with lack of process and policies around it all and just, just the speed with which things are happening and the traumas that we're witnessing every single moment we are bombarded with traumas of the world. And so if we don't have a faith of our own understanding and a spiritual practice and a self help practice for grounding ourselves, we are going to feel like a f water. We are going to be flailing, we are going to be, be, be addicted. We are going to be in extreme protection mechanisms. And it's a warning. This is my, like I, I can hear what's here and I can also see what's coming. And so this is, you know, I, I, I know it sounds dramatic, but it is, right? It is like there's just no denying it. You know, if this was, if, if we had done this podcast maybe even a year ago, we might not even be in this extreme of a conversation, but this, it's now. And so I don't, I don't think there's an, have some kind of personal development and some kind of faith. Right?

[Nikki]

I agree with you so much on that.

[Brie]

And I loved your video you posted. I reposted. It was last, I think last week or last weekend. And just how you were talking about just coming with love and prayer and because so many people are like, what can I do right now? But like damned if you do, damned if you don't. It's like no one ever wins. And but how you were like came and you're just like, like love and prayer. And I was like, oh my gosh, it's so true. Every single person. If we can just do that. Oh my goodness.

[Gabby Bernstein]

I mean, I just started praying in the morning with my family, you know, just praying for, for, for resolution, praying for justice, praying, you know, praying for truth. Just. And, and you can't underestimate our prayers because you know, people will be like, oh, thoughts and prayers. That's a bunch of bullshit. Actually, it's not if it's genuine, right? Because if you start getting collective and in fact, one of my intentions today is to start putting up more prayers on my social channel because people, because if I can get maybe half a million people listening to a prayer, then I know that they've had an energetic shift inside and then I know that they're walking into their Family's home. And they're gonna maybe be a little bit more elevated. And I know that the decisions they have to make at work might be a little bit more conscious. I know that they're gonna meet the world with a little bit more compassion. And maybe that touches somebody on the street. And that person that was on the street was gonna just go do something. So these are, these, these energy shifts have a ripple effect and we have to transform our lives through those shifts one step at a time.

[Nikki]

Yes, it's. I kept getting chills when you were saying that, and it's so true because I come at things with love and light and people will be like, some, not all, but like, oh, easy way out. I'm like, no, no, no. There's so much power behind prayer and love and kindness and light. And I kept telling myself too, that I know to post more of that kind of stuff because you have no idea who it touches. Then they, they repost, they share, they send to their friends.

[Gabby Bernstein]

That's right, babe.

[Nikki]

Yeah. And so that's so good. I needed to one, download your app because I need to do all these challenges.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Send you, I'll send you access to it.

[Nikki]

I. I need this major.

[Gabby Bernstein]

They're major. It's. It's what we need. It's like daily. And there's daily messages every single day inside the app that are just like those two minute, two minutes practices, right? So somebody's out there and they're like, I don't want to do this self help book. It feels like too much or I don't even read or I, I don't even want to go to therapy or it's too much for me. What's so nice about the app is that you get a streak in your day. You know, your streak shows up just by opening the app and pulling an affirmation card. So I'm going to pull a card for you guys right now inside the app. You go into the app and it's this, it's like this little. It's cool. There's like a little card feature. Oh, it's not. My app's actually asking me to update it right now. There's an update. Well, my production team, my product team are working. Okay, here we go. It's updated. That was fast. Okay, so there's this little. This little. Can you see that?

[Nikki]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

So tell me when to stop scrolling and I'll get your card for you. Just one of you say stop. Okay. That's your card. All right. Oh, this is perfect. I trust in a plan far greater than my own.

[Nikki]

Oh, yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Is that not very relevant to me? So then you'd open the app and. And there's a daily practice right there. Like, there's just like one daily pract, and it's. And it's three minutes long. Right. And there's hundreds of meditations and challenges and whatnot in here. But. But the. But the bigger thing is, is that if you just open the app, pull your card, and do a three minute daily practice with me, you've done your streak for the day. And so that, to me, is the whole thing. Right. One small thing will change the direction of your day, especially if it's the first thing you do in the morning.

[Nikki]

Yes. Yes.

[Brie]

We need starting the challenge. We're starting and we're doing it daily.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Do the trust the universe challenge, you guys.

[Brie]

And then I want you to.

[Gabby Bernstein]

To come back in, like, in 30 days and. Or 21 days and just tell me what happened. Tell me about the miracles. Yes.

[Brie]

Oh, my God. We're definitely. We're definitely doing that. I'm downloading right after. And so. Oh, my gosh, Gabby, this has been so great. You have no idea. And Nikki and I, we always end our episodes with little inspiration, affirmation. I'm sure you have so many. But what's like one quote or mantra or something, A motto that you live by?

[Gabby Bernstein]

Well, I really like to use this affirmation. I think that would be really good for both of you, and I'm going to give it to you today day, so. Because this might talk to the people pleaser part. Okay. Everything is happening around me, and I'm truly taken care of. And that, to me, is that I'm supported, I'm cared for. I don't have to do it all.

[Nikki]

Yeah, right. I needed that bad.

[Brie]

Me too.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Gosh, you guys are wonderful. You're so beautiful. I love you.

[Nikki]

Thank you.

[Brie]

No, you too.

[Nikki]

Was so excited for you to come on. I was. I've been. I mean, how long have I been talking about Gabby to you?

[Gabby Bernstein]

And so I need to get your address. I'm gonna send lots of books and decks.

[Nikki]

Yes, I need it just.

[Brie]

We love.

[Nikki]

Especially being in a new era of my life. Divorce, single mom and, you know, and just like Kristen and I, that's why I love seeing what she does. And when we've worked with her, it's when you're also in the public eye, you just need to have a certain shield. But then you also want to be open and honest. So it's just so. It's. It's hard, but I'm excited for this new era and I've been working hard on it, but that's when I got so drawn to you. And so. Yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Well, I will tell you this. You're 1000% on the right track. And the. My favorite quote. And I'll leave you with this is the roomy quote. The wound is the place where the light enters you. So we have these experiences in our life where we can look back and say things. Thank. Thank you for that divorce.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

That was. That was the catalyst for my greatest awakening. Wow. And I know you know that. I know you know that right now. I know you know that. I feel it very deeply.

[Nikki]

Yeah, definitely. It's. I'm in the. The exact place that I need to be in. And the greatest gift that God has ever given me is my son. He's pure light and just a little angel baby. And so though it's cute because we do our prayers at night and we have. We have our whole lineup of people he hugs and holds Jesus, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Archangel Michael statues. He broke Archangel Michael's sword. And then he tried to tell me the night. Did you know someone took Archangel Michael's sword?

[Gabby Bernstein]

He's trying to say he's four.

[Nikki]

He'll be five, the end of July.

[Gabby Bernstein]

My little dude's six and a half. There, there's the best, you know? Yeah. We pray to the angels. He hugs you Huggies for everyone. He hugs all the angels like it's the best. And they're being brought up with it and they can choose it or not, but it's, it's been planted, you know, it's absolutely incredible. So, so thrilled that you have that.

[Nikki]

Yeah. Thank you. I so agree.

[Brie]

I love it. It's funny because in our backyard, I do, I have like a big statue of Buddha, Jesus, Mary. Like the list goes on. All my people out there, St. Francis and like, obviously because I'm so spiritual, like, I, you know, not religious, but, you know, respect all of it. And my kids, we always like, that's our tribe back there.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Brie]

They're our tribe. They protect us. And we love it.

[Gabby Bernstein]

I love it. I love it.

[Brie]

Yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

So beautiful, you guys.

[Brie]

Well, thank you so much. We're definitely going to check in with you after.

[Gabby Bernstein]

I gotta get the two text message going.

[Brie]

Yes, we do.

[Nikki]

Please. I can't wait to see you after challenge.

[Brie]

It's gonna be great.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Beautiful. Thank you.

[Brie]

Thank you.

[Gabby Bernstein]

So you guys can find me at Gabby Bernstein on Instagram and at Gabrielle Bernstein on YouTube. And you can definitely go, you can go get the trust the universe [e-mail] forward slash universe challenge. That's. I love that. That's a good one. DearGabby.com forward slash universe.

[Brie]

Perfect. Okay, listeners, you have to join Nikki and I on this challenge.

[Nikki]

This, let's do it all together and then you guys could call in.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Do it together.

[Nikki]

Yeah. Right. We could hear everyone's miracle.

[Brie]

Instead of getting our summer bodies, let's get our summer spirituality on.

[Nikki]

Yeah, totally.

[Brie]

You know, totally. Inner hot girl body, something like that.

[Nikki]

Yeah.

[Brie]

Hot girl spirit, summer something. Well, thank you so much, Gabby.

[Gabby Bernstein]

I love you. Thank you.

[Brie]

Yeah. Have you ever noticed how celebrities have brighter, wider looking eyes?

[Nikki]

Their makeup artists have a little secret in their kit. Lumify Redness reliever eye drops.

[Brie]

Lumify dramatically reduces redness in just one minute. It literally happens right before your eyes.

[Nikki]

It helps your eye drop. Eyes look brighter, wider, and more awake for up to eight hours.

[Brie]

No wonder Lumify is so loved by influencers, celebrities and makeup artists and has over 6,000 five star reviews on Amazon.

[Nikki]

Lumify is also the number one eye doctor recommended redness reliever eye drop, and it's FDA approved.

[Brie]

No bleach, no dyes, just incredible results.

[Nikki]

Plus, it's made by the eye care care experts at Bausch and Loam.

[Brie]

So whether you're on set, on a date, or running on just a few hours of sleep, Lumify can help your eyes look brighter and whiter.

[Nikki]

When you try it, you'll see that it's what your eyes have been looking for.

[Brie]

Check out lumify eyes.com to learn more.

[Gabby Bernstein]

I'm gonna put you on nephew.

[Nikki]

All right.

[Brie]

Welcome to McDonald's.

[Gabby Bernstein]

Can I take your order, miss? I've been hitting up McDonald's for years. Is now it's back. We need snack wraps.

[Brie]

What's a snack wrap?

[Gabby Bernstein]

It's the return of something great. Snack wrap is back.