Birdie Joe Danielson (16:50)
And then think about your support group, because look at me. Your. Your support system is such a key component in this whole thing of mind over matter. You need to have motivating people around you, inspiring people around you. You need to have people that are going to let you vent, but turn that negative into a positive. Make that venting sesh feel. Feel like a release. And now it's like, what do we do to move forward? You. You need people that come at you with love. You need people that may not have love for you, but take you in a different direction as far as what a teacher would do and a coach would do. So that is like the other main component that you really need to have. And knowing that on this road to recovery or on this road to having a comeback, rising up like the Phoenix, you're going to have difficult moments. Because believe me, especially in those six months, there were moments of can I really do this? Is my confidence going to be there? Am I Going to be scared? Am I going to be timid? Am I going to harm myself? Like you, you have doubts, right? Which is part of being human, and that's a part of your mind. And this is, like, why we have to keep ourselves so strong. So on this road to recovery, on this road to this great return, I had those moments of doubt because I felt physical pain. I would at times be like, this is too hard. What am I doing? This hurts. This doesn't feel right. I can remember so much of the time laying in bed at night with that neck brace and wanting to rip it off, and just the feeling sometimes of when I take the neck brace off and how weak my neck felt, and just the mental battles alone. I fought with myself a lot, but the one thing that helped me overcome especially the mental battles, was I know where I wanted to go. All I ever visualized was myself getting back into that ring. I would visualize it all the time and also know that in those difficult moments, having a sense of uncertainty is so normal. I had that. I was. I. I think when you're on this road, whether it's a failed marriage, it's, you know, career ending injury, but whether it's an injury or just you've been at work for 20 years in a career and it's done, you're fired, and you're like, what do I do now? When we come to this place, having that sense of uncertainty is so normal. I. I have that a lot. You just, you think about your future. It's like I'm someone who so needs to know what's going to happen next. I'm always a step ahead of so many people because that's just how my mind works. And that's where I have to be. That's where I find peace. Sometimes the uncertainty can scare me or I don't feel prepared. And I'm someone who is so prepared. I'm prepared for so many things I do in my life, which has brought me a lot of success. But in those moments of coming back, of having those returns, of entering a new era, you have that. And it can be scary, but this is why we have to keep our mind strong and why we have the decisions, like why you have to make the decisions of why, why am I going? And that. And that's a great thing of when we bring in journaling of what it. What are, what is the reasons why you want to keep going. I know my whys. My whys then were I want to get back in and wrestle. My career isn't done. I want to live a healthy life. I want to feel good. I knew in my, in my heart I had so much more to accomplish. I had so many more barriers I wanted to break, glass ceilings to break. There was just so many more things I wanted to do that were ring based, wrestling based. And I wouldn't accept no. You know, when I think now, majority of my whys and my what's are Mateo. Mateo is like that foundation of what keeps me going, what keeps me strong, what keeps me journaling at night of like, this is how we're going to make it through. This is where the move is next. This is how things are going to be happy for him and strong, except, et cetera. When you're in the middle of this and when you're having these returns and these comebacks to make sure that through it, and when you have those weak moments just like me, that you're asking yourself, like, why am I doing this? What is my decision to keep moving forward? And I think when you write that out and you see it, this is what starts to build up your mind. These are why it's so important to write letters to yourself, to ask yourself questions, questions and to write it down and, and read and look at your answers of why do. Why am I doing the things I'm doing? And because I feel like I get asked a lot, like, well, how are you so strong? Like, how is your mind this way? Like, how do you have such a strong will? And, you know, my big point in doing this too, is you don't have to have a career ending injury or go through some of the things that Bri and I have gone through. Like, I know a lot of you have read our memoir to have these moments, because I'll also be asked, like, well, I haven't gone through any of that, but how do I get a will like you? Or how can I create something different in my life? And it's right, you know, it's all these things that I'm talking about and talking to yourself, asking yourself these questions. And sometimes I know I'm the type of person, I talk to myself a lot out loud, but I need to write things down. I need to see my own answers to myself. I need to see my own conversations with myself. And I, you know, even for this, I was asking myself a lot of questions. And then I would, I would leave spaces and I would fill in the answers, you know, like, how did I develop a resilient mindset? And then I would write down my answer, like, and These are things that help so much to create such a strong, strong will. And so, like, right there, developing a resilient mindset, like, this is how we start to develop this also to know your passion and your hunger. So many of us fight for things because we have a love for it. And we won't take no for an answer. We just won't accept it. And so to find that place placed in your life of, like, what? Why, absolutely not accept no for like, what will I make sure it's a yes? What do I want so badly in life that I'm going to fight hard for it? And that's when you know you're in the right place. That's when I knew more than ever that I was made to be a wrestler. I was. I was made to be a WWE Superstar, a pro wrestler. I was made to be in that ring because when something so terrible happened to me, I wouldn't accept it. I was like, no, no, no, this isn't it. I'm going to do whatever I can to be back in that ring. And I will be back in that ring. And that's also something I kept telling myself every day, I will be back. It wasn't maybe if I do this, we'll see. There was no Will sees. There was no maybes. It was I will and I will show you how. And I came back seven months later. And this is where everyone. Where, like, the surgeons all really perked up when I was talking about this at the summit because I was in a neck brace for six months. Six months. So when I had that return at SummerSlam, that was seven months later, I was out of a neck brace for four weeks. But. But that doesn't mean, like, oh, my gosh. How did she. I kept my neck. I listened to my doctor, I trained, and it literally helped me keep my neck super strong. I had exercises I would do. I would wear this bone stimulator. So there were times where I was out of my neck brace, you know, probably a few months before that, doing different things to keep it strong. And then I put the neck brace back on, give my neck a break. Like, not have it try to carry this head around, let it breathe, let it relax. I put it through work and then I put the neck brace back on. And that's why when I had a doctor actually give me shit about it in public. You don't need that. You should have been out of that months before. Actually, no, because I'm training my neck so well that my neck needs to have those moments of not carrying my head around. That weighs probably 10 to 15 pounds. I'm giving it rest. I'm letting it relax, I'm letting it heal. I'm letting my body focus on that part instead of focusing, trying to keep a neck up. So also listening to those things and it's also doing research for yourself, but listening, that's where your support system comes into play. You know, when you have, when you're going through these comebacks and you have those moments of doubt, and then we ask ourselves why? And then in these moments, this is where we start to develop this just resilient mindset, right? And then from there you have to honor the small victories that you have along the way. So at this point, my small victories for me were accomplishing two glasses of wine once a week and hitting that like two month part. I mean, honestly, I was very proud when I hit the first four weeks, like, oh my gosh, I did it. And then to consistently do it every month, that was a small victory to me. Staying on my diet, even though I wanted to just sit and like snack all day, I made sure that I was on point with what I was consuming and what was best for my body on healing, staying healthy. That was a small victory for me. Accomplishing, you know, if I had to go do physical therapy and seeing my slow results, my neck feeling different, that was a small victory. My stitches coming out, I was like, heck yeah, that was a victory. And to honor and recognize those small victories along the way of anything you're coming back on, it's so important for those moments because you're acknowledging to yourself growth. And when you acknowledge that to yourself, it makes you want to stay on this path even more because you start to realize like, oh my goodness, I am getting better. I am growing from this. I am getting stronger. Oh my goodness, I am becoming the better version of myself. I'm becoming the best version of myself. Imagine if I stay on this and how I'm going to be in a few more months. So really acknowledge and honor those small victories to yourself, writing them down. You know, do a little celebration for yourself at that point. For me, it wasn't cake, but you know what? It was definitely on that Sunday, Sunday when I get those two glasses of wine, I just remember sipping it so slow, but just taking in everything I did for the week. And that is why I did pick a Sunday, was I would accomplish so much in the week and Sunday was like that victory day, like, damn, girl, look what you did. And you did it in a neck Brace, and you still walked out of the house with a little bit of cleavage, some faux fur around your neck with a red lip on. You know, those are things that help yourself, your mind, your spirit so much. And when it came to the moment of, like, true triumphant, true victory, of on this road to recovery, having my support system, overcoming moments of weakness and doubt, putting in the blood, sweat and tears, writing to myself, talking to myself, doing all the things for me in this moment, this injury that was my true triumphant was when my music hit at SummerSlam and no one saw it coming because four weeks ago, you would have saw me in a neck brace. And the true triumphant for me was not only walking down that ramp again. I get such massive chills in a moment that I was told I would never walk down that ramp again. I would never get in that ring again. And in what starts to play is those moments of doubts and, like, times you were like, is this really going to happen? Am I going to get cleared? Are they going to let me wrestle again? Will I be ready? Will my body heal? Will I have bone growth? All these things. And when that moment comes, it's like, it's the most incredible feeling. And for me, more than anything, what made it so triumphant was the fans and the women that are in my locker room because it was like, such a victory for all of us. Because the one beauty about pro wrestling is we're all in it. The fans are a big part of what we do. They are literally superstars within themselves. And then you have your opponents, which end up being some of your best friends. And in that moment, if you go look at it and you see the smiles, even the girls that are the bad girls, like, they can't help but have a smile. And you see how the fans react because it was such a moment of triumph, of, like, where we all felt like, you heard no, but now you see the yes. Like, you hear career ending. And in this moment, I'm showing you, like, nope, not gonna happen. Seven months later, set a record, came back from an injury that people usually don't come back from. And I did it in seven months and came back healthy and strong. And that was a big part of my will and my mind over matter and not only focusing on the physical part of me, but the mental part of me. And that's what I loved being at the spine summit was putting all of that together and actually having doctors be like, exactly. Doctors know they need that. Doctors need their patients to believe in themselves as well, just as much as they. They believe in their work for you, what you have to bring to the table is believing in what you can do, your body can do, your mind can do, and, and taking all of that and having that great triumphant. And also what you don't realize is what you're doing in that moment when you have this big comeback of whatever it is, how much it inspires others. And when I was at the Tampa Spine Summit, that is something that I realized is how my story from 2016, almost 10 years later, is still inspiring people, inspiring doctors, inspiring students. And that was like, really neat to see. It put me on a high and I was like, oh my gosh. And there was so much more I wanted to talk about with them, but I only had a 30 minute limit and it was like questions with another doctor. And I remember like thinking like, oh, there's so much more I want to say, but it was really beautiful to see. I had so many people come up to me after and ask me so many questions and just couldn't believe everything that I was told and how I just wouldn't stop fighting. And I think we see a lot of these beautiful stories now online, whether it's Instagram, on Good Morning America, whatever it may be, we see these beautiful stories and you just have to have that will. And you know when sometimes people say, well, but mine didn't work out and I had that then, what I truly feel, and this is my belief, is that wasn't meant for you. And we have to look at that door being closed because you have others that are open. So acknowledge and recognize that this is just a closed door. My life, I gave it my all just to get my answer, which we always want answers. And my answer is I going in a different direction.
