← The Nikki & Brie Show
The Nikki & Brie Show
Nikki’s Back!
00:38:53
It’s a special episode of the Nikki & Brie Show, Nikki is back on the mic and speaking directly to you. It’s her words, her experience, her story, straight from Nikki.
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- [00:01]
Fidelity Representative
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Brie Bella
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Mmm. Now that's pretty good.
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- [01:03]
Xfinity Representative
For someone like myself who works remote, it has definitely given me this freedom to be this hands on mom while being a really, I have to say, great career woman. Xfinity connects you to more of what you love. It's amazing because we always get a video call Brian when he's on the road and he feels like he's a part of the kids lives just watching them eat dinner or doing arts and crafts. So Internet has literally changed my life for the better. And let's be honest, it is so frustrating when everyone is on wi fi, which is a lot in a household and people have to get off the Internet. So one side of the house works or it can work for one person and then you start going through the whole lineup of well who's the Internet most important for in the house and that just becomes family drama. Well get rid of the drama and get Xfinity because you won't have to deal with that ever again. Xfinity connects you to more of what you love. Get the fastest Internet to connect hundreds of devices at the same time. WI Fi engineered for seamless coverage. Stay reliably connected even when everyone is online at once. Learn more@xfinity.com.
- [02:19]
Brie Bella
One thing I want people to know is don't be afraid to lean on your support group.
- [02:24]
Nikki Bella
Life is so dang hard and we all gotta support each other to get through it. This is the Nikki and Brie Show. Happy Monday everyone and welcome back to the Nikki and Brie show. And I'm actually really excited because it's really the Nikki and Brie Show. No more solos for me. I mean, there might be some in the future, but it's because Nikki is back.
- [02:53]
Brie Bella
Oh, hey, Bri. Hey, everyone. I've missed you all so much.
- [02:57]
Nikki Bella
Oh, my goodness, we have missed you.
- [03:00]
Brie Bella
Yes, I know. It actually feels weird being in this chair and being back in this space. Yeah.
- [03:08]
Nikki Bella
Right next to me.
- [03:08]
Brie Bella
Being right next to you.
- [03:10]
Nikki Bella
And I think I probably missed you way more.
- [03:13]
Brie Bella
Yeah. But I've been enjoying your solo episode, so thank you.
- [03:16]
Nikki Bella
A sister has been trying.
- [03:18]
Brie Bella
No, you've been doing an incredible job, Brie. Honestly.
- [03:20]
Nikki Bella
Oh, my gosh.
- [03:21]
Brie Bella
It's been amazing and I'm so grateful for it. So thank you.
- [03:23]
Nikki Bella
A. And thank you for thank.
- [03:26]
Brie Bella
Keeping it together. Why I've been away.
- [03:28]
Nikki Bella
I know. Anything for you. Boo. Thing.
- [03:31]
Brie Bella
Yes.
- [03:31]
Nikki Bella
You know it. So, Nicole, you know, there's been headlines, questions and comments, and a lot of people, I. I can't even explain because I know you have haven't been on social media or even been seen a lot of, like, the podcast stuff, but a lot of people have been pouring out their love and support for you, but they are also wondering, how are you?
- [03:55]
Brie Bella
That's really sweet. Yeah. I'm going to try my best not to get too emotional in this episode, but I first want to just thank everyone, the listeners, you, family, friends, co workers, people I haven't talked to in a long time, just for all the love and support for the respect of privacy and space. The past few months, I disconnected from social media, from the world, and I just knew that I needed to disconnect because first things first, I'm a mom and my son's protection and privacy is the most important. So I was going to do whatever it took for that, most importantly, and then just needing space for healing, for facing trauma head on, all of that. So it's been tough. It's been really tough. I've been heartbroken. Sad. Yeah. You know, you dream of having this family and you have this incredible love and it just goes the other way. And you go from having a great love story to having a terrible one and never saw any of it coming, you know, as far as, like, what the ending would be. So it's. It's just been. It's been a struggle. And this is the thing I know being a public figure, I. I have to say a little bit about this. Right. And after this, I don't want to ever talk about again because I truly do want privacy. For Mateo, that has been the most Important part. But obviously, I've had a public relationship. I'm a public figure, so I have. I have to talk about what's gone on. Right? A little bit, for sure. But I do want to continue to protect Mateo in those ways, because that's what's been the hardest part about all this. And it's been so heartbreaking. And I didn't know that your heart can break that many times in such a short period of time.
- [05:57]
Nikki Bella
And I have to ask. And, you know, I know a lot of people want to ask you that. How. How does that make you feel? Because this is the thing, is that I really admired from the beginning, from day one, how you have kept things so private. And for being someone who is in the public eye, you have kept it so private when you didn't have to. You could have retaliated, you could have fought back in the press, but you're not that person. I mean, how does it feel to, you know, see the lies and the media, to see, like, the constant, I mean, clickbait stories?
- [06:35]
Brie Bella
It's heartbreaking. It's. It's truly heartbreaking. And not only that, it's shocking. I have been just so shocked. You sit there and you go, I shared my life with this person. I thought it was so different. And just to see what someone can do, you know, we have a. We're a family. Like, no matter what. At the end of the day, even when two people divorce, if you have children, you're still a family, and your child should always be first. Look, I just. Just so shocked. I was just. I've been so shocked, like, beyond words. And it's been heartbreaking. And I just, you know, it just. You lose your appetite. You cry a lot. And then I also, you know, stepped up and made sure everything was okay for Mateo. And so it's just been. I. I don't even know what other words to use.
- [07:32]
Nikki Bella
There's not many more you can use. And, I mean, we all know that I was still on social media and still say everything, and it was so hard for me to not. But I respected your wishes on not saying anything. And just like, Bri. Ignore Mall. Like, you know, it's.
- [07:51]
Brie Bella
And you have to. You know what I mean? Like, for me, this whole situation's been really just hard to wrap my head around it. Like, I never would have thought you. You couldn't have told me how the ending of my 2024 would have been. I would have thought you were crazy. But the one thing that I have realized, disconnecting from the world. It's when you know the truth, nothing else matters. So when some of you would come to me and tell me what people were saying or what was out there, it would affect me in some way. But because I know the truth and I actually lived it, it had. It didn't have a big effect on me because people weren't there that day. People don't know what I've gone through to what I am going through. And you're always going to have people just assume things and say things, and then, you know, when they get fed lies, you're going to have people also believe things.
- [08:43]
Nikki Bella
Right.
- [08:43]
Brie Bella
All I need to do is focus on my healing. I need to focus on Mateo's healing. I need to think about the future I have, you know, like, his future. How's this going to look? How am I going to make sure everyone's okay? That's, like, where my focus was. And is it hurtful when you hear certain things? You know, even what people say?
- [09:09]
Nikki Bella
But I. You know, I told Nikki from the beginning, I'm like, girlfriend, you are handling this with so much grace in class. And I'm just going to say it. I would have probably done it different.
- [09:20]
Brie Bella
And. No, I.
- [09:22]
Nikki Bella
No, you have so much strength. Well, and I will say, like, all you have done this whole time is put your son first.
- [09:31]
Brie Bella
Yeah.
- [09:31]
Nikki Bella
Way over your needs. You don't have an ego. So we all saw that. Like, you know, you. You didn't even. Nothing even cared about what, you know, the reputation of what people think of you or whatever. You literally have been so strong through this, and it's been really inspiring, I think.
- [09:52]
Brie Bella
Thank you. If any woman's been in my situation, which a ton of women have. Right. But if any are listening, even right now, when you love someone so deeply, which, you know, I walked down the aisle and said, I do, because I loved this person so deeply, I would have done anything for them. I wanted to give them the world till my last breath. And I would have taken a bullet for them. And when something like this happens and then you feel so betrayed, it's. You're just trying to figure it out.
- [10:28]
Nikki Bella
You're. You.
- [10:29]
Brie Bella
You're feeling so many different emotions, and the whole day was just shocking. I handled things with a lot of love and grace because I loved this person so much. I still wanted great things for them, or I wanted them to heal. I wanted them to get help. I wanted them to be the best version of themselves. Because also, that's what my son deserves. I don't want to drag My son's dad, because I want my son to have the greatest dad ever, because that's what Mateo deserves.
- [10:59]
Nikki Bella
Right.
- [11:00]
Brie Bella
So I try to handle this whole situation, even though I was in so much pain. I was just trying to do what was best for everyone, but that would get turned against me and, oh, she's fine, or, oh, this, or, oh, that. And when it came to our relationship, it said, like, it just hasn't been great for a long time. And I really played it up like things were a lot better than what they were in the public eye, which I have regrets in that, because what I felt was, like, if I can just put this person on a pedestal, and maybe if this person hears it enough, what I believe in them, they can believe that in themselves.
- [11:38]
Nikki Bella
Why do you feel the need that you had to do that?
- [11:41]
Brie Bella
I. I think we were just so public, and I felt like I wasn't being heard at home, so maybe I. He would hear me out loud in the public eye. I don't.
- [11:50]
Nikki Bella
Or do you think that you. You feel like, you know, your fans, your supporters, want to see almost like, this fairy tale relationship, so you feel like you have to give it to them?
- [12:00]
Brie Bella
That, yes. And I didn't want to have another failed public relationship. And more than any of that, take it away. Like, I wanted it for Mateo. You know, it's. It always comes back to him. You fight for your kids. Right.
- [12:16]
Nikki Bella
You.
- [12:17]
Brie Bella
You want to stick together because that's what the kids want. Right. And I. I tried really hard, and we both just. In the end, we weren't. We weren't bringing the best out in each other.
- [12:30]
Nikki Bella
Right.
- [12:30]
Brie Bella
Um, and we should have probably walked away a long time ago, so in the end, what happened wouldn't have happened.
- [12:36]
Nikki Bella
Right. And. And countless times you do hear parents say that. Oh, we try to stick it out for the kids.
- [12:42]
Brie Bella
Yeah.
- [12:42]
Nikki Bella
Now that you've been in that situation, what would you. What would be the advice you'd give to people who maybe feel like they're parents, let's say parents. And even if you don't have kids, you know, fine, but you're in a toxic relationship, you're trying to push through for the kids. What would. What's the advice you give them now?
- [13:01]
Brie Bella
I would say to break up. This is my thing. If you are in a relationship, in a marriage with kids, and you are waiting for that other person to change or to be someone they were years ago, and you keep waiting and waiting, that person isn't coming back or that change isn't going to happen, so don't drain yourself to keep waiting for that. Right.
- [13:27]
Nikki Bella
Yeah.
- [13:28]
Brie Bella
And don't keep your kids in it, hoping that person's going to show up or hoping that you're going to get better in the relationship. Right. I know a lot of people, you know, we'll talk about takes two to tango, but it's just not going to happen. I hate. I mean, that was. That's what I got hit so hard with the past few months. It wasn't ever going to happen.
- [13:49]
Nikki Bella
And, you know, this is the thing. It's. It's nice to hear from someone who's been through it and like to. Actually, you know, we had. I can't tell you how many Nicole voicemails we had of when everything first happened and I did an episode. I know you heard it, you know, based on what I was feeling, just being so close to the situation and your sister, it's like you. You start to live it with your, you know, your siblings, your best friends, your loved ones. You know, you feel like you're living it through. And I was really honest of, like, what I was feeling and all these things. And I can't believe how many voicemails came in of people being like, thank you.
- [14:29]
Brie Bella
Yeah.
- [14:30]
Nikki Bella
Because a lot of people do feel alone in these situations. I can. I see what you've been going through the last couple months, and it's not like I'm going through it. And, like, I'm sure at night you're by yourself thinking, like, you're alone. And so I. It makes me, you know, I. And I love your privacy and keeping it private, but I'm happy that this episode, you get to talk about it, because it's going to help a lot of people listening, just being like, thank you. I'm not alone. Like, I. I'm not all the things everyone wants to make up around me. Or. I mean, we had some voicemails of family members stop talking to certain people because they're believing the lies. And I'm like, gross.
- [15:07]
Brie Bella
I, you know, I could see that, how that happens and where I, like, I've had so many conversations with women who've gone through similar situations or have been through it or. Goodness, so many people go through so much worse. Right. And I think the one thing that I, you know, want them to know is what you do in those situations. And through it, you're not wrong, because that's one thing I've learned is I would feel a certain way emotionally, and that's how I would deal with the situation. Meaning, like, showing kindness Texting things and, like, just, you know, like, trying to make this situation, put love in it, and then it backfires. And so I just want women to know, like, don't change who you are, because I don't have regrets. I came at it with love. And I don't have regret, because the day Mateo wants to sit and talk about it, I could. I have all the proof of how I try to handle everything with love and care because of you, baby boy. And. And I. All I wanted to do was protect you. Mommy didn't want kids to come to you one day at school and show you headlines. That was why I wanted things so private and done just privately, together. And when it just turned into this circus, I'm like, what are you doing?
- [16:28]
Nikki Bella
But on one side, because I'm going to tell everyone this, because I would, like, see all this stuff, and I would be like, Nicole, like, I was, like, ready for the fight in the press because I was so angry, and I couldn't stand the lies. And literally, she was like, get off the Internet. Yeah, I don't care. I don't care. I. And you would have to calm me down. And you're like, I'm not letting anyone speak on my behalf. I'm not letting anyone go at it with them. She literally wouldn't let any of us do anything. And there were so many times I'd have to call my mom and be like, I don't know, Mom. She's being too nice. Too nice. And she's getting bashed week after week.
- [17:11]
Brie Bella
But it was. I mean, I get it.
- [17:12]
Nikki Bella
I couldn't believe how kind. And honestly, it's. Because you kept. And you kept saying this, Bri. We have to think about Mateo because he will Google his dad and my name one day, and we have to protect him.
- [17:26]
Brie Bella
And I was in that. He'll Google. I just think people are gonna tease him, right? He's gonna get to eight or 10, like, what kids do. And that's what my main reason of just begging for the privacy. Begging to keep it just, you know, within us and, you know, yeah.
- [17:47]
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- [18:05]
Fidelity Representative
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- [18:16]
T-Mobile Representative
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- [18:35]
Nikki Bella
You know you've gone through something that has caused a lot of trauma that you're working on. What do you see? And we're coming to an end of 2024. But how do you see putting your life together now? Like what, what does the future look like for you?
- [18:48]
Brie Bella
Well, one thing I want to say before I get into that is, and I think a lot of sisters will feel this, you've been through it all. Even before August, you've been through a lot, you've seen a lot. You're my person I go to. But you, you're. You've been around more than anyone, more than anyone has.
- [19:08]
Nikki Bella
Oh, I have. And I have multiple times, told them both, I think it's time this relationship's done.
- [19:13]
Brie Bella
Right? But you've been there this whole time. You've seen me on the floor crying my eyes out, feeling like, like, how will tomorrow come? Like, how can I, you know, get through this? And you, you've seen the good, the bad, the ugly. Well, there's no good. But you've seen the bad and the ugly. So you, you had a right to feel the way you did. So don't ever feel bad about that because that's just your love for your sister, your nephew, for women. That's just. Don't be upset at yourself for that and great job on containing it and, you know, listening, I mean, you know, as far as moving forward, you know, I never thought I would be in this place as a co parent. It's tough. I miss Mateo. Oh my goodness. Those first few times in my house, just think I've never been in the home without him. Really, really hard, very emotional. Even yesterday, I cry every time he leaves. I just cry so hard as I'm picking up his trains and like cleaning his plates, whatever it may be, doing his laundry. I just cry so hard. And so that's been hard. But we're doing a great job at it. You know, we both are very focused on Mateo and that's the great thing. And I do think in time, I pray. I pray every day. We'll be great friends. We'll be able to share holidays together. I don't think that'll happen anytime soon, but I pray for it. Because, again, that's what Mateo deserves.
- [20:50]
Nikki Bella
Right. And that's what you've been great at.
- [20:52]
Brie Bella
I do. That's the future I hope for. I am in a place right now, as I'm working through therapy and stuff, I'm figuring out of my forgiveness.
- [21:02]
Nikki Bella
Right.
- [21:02]
Brie Bella
It's the first time. Like, I'm usually someone who's so quick to forgive, but. But do I mean it? And so I'm in this place because I want forgiveness in my heart, but I'm not there.
- [21:13]
Nikki Bella
Yeah.
- [21:13]
Brie Bella
I'm not there at all. There's so much to process. Like this morning when I was writing, prepping to do this, like, I was crying so hard, like, am I ready to do this? And. And, like, I. I feel like I'm actually being really strong right now. And I do want to move on. You know, I. I'm. I'm over the hiding. I've. And I. I'm so grateful for it because I realize I needed it. Like, my first time leaving for work, which was like, a month ago, it was crazy, because when I got into the car and I'm driving, I started to leave the vineyard area, my body started to shake, and it just. I just wanted to tell the driver, go home. Go home. But I realized because my house became such my safe place during all this and being home for two months straight and disconnecting from work, from social life, from the world. I mean, you would tell me news updates, and I'm like, what? And you were like, that was two weeks ago. I didn't know anything about anything going on.
- [22:06]
Nikki Bella
Shouldn't know anything.
- [22:07]
Brie Bella
I didn't know anything. I was just. All of a sudden, I realized, like, I was so dependent of just my house, my prayers, my faith, my family, my friends. And that. That was just, you know, that my lawyers. Yeah, a lot of lawyer calls. And that's all I knew. And it was, like, hard. But then the past month has really helped me. I've been trying to get out and about a little bit more, and that's helped. I realized, okay, you need that. And now I needed this to come on, talk about it, be done with it, move on. We're going to be incredible co parents. We are our futures, Mateo.
- [22:44]
Nikki Bella
Yeah.
- [22:45]
Brie Bella
And I'm just going to work really hard in 2025. I want to crush it. I still want to thrive in my Career. And you know what I've realized through all this? I'm not going to give a shit about what people think or say, what I have realized in this, because I lived it. People are going to believe what they want to believe. And you just, no matter what, change people's minds. Like, I've only saw one thing because someone sent me something I clicked on. I didn't even mean to. And I, I saw a few comments and I was like, whoa, they don't even know. That's so sad.
- [23:18]
Nikki Bella
They don't even know. And they took the time to write out a mean ass.
- [23:21]
Brie Bella
You know, you just. Look, I don't want anyone's career to be destroyed or ended. I want everyone to thrive in life. And you and I, and we've been complimented of this, we are some of the most non judgmental people ever. I understand people's journeys, where they came from, what they're going through. Also I understand midlife, maybe things that all you knew come to an end. And I'm scared for the future. Like I'm this age, how do I start over? I'm so understanding all those things. And then even when you have these snapping moments, like how do you recover? How is it like when you take accountability and move on and you know, it's just I, I'm that person and I don't want, I have no revenge in my body that's not in my bones down or to like ruin people and destroy. But that is not my thing.
- [24:16]
Nikki Bella
We're not those people.
- [24:17]
Brie Bella
And you know, you, you look at our dad and other people we've had in our lives, we don't turn our back on people. We just are there to help make them better.
- [24:26]
Nikki Bella
We know people aren't perfect. You gotta, you gotta look at the mirror in the mirror at some point and take accountability. And that's all I ask. I. For anyone out there or anyone who's close to me, like, hey, we're not perfect and life's hard and a thing that I actually was. Which was interesting because when people get in the situation, I feel like it can go the other way. You were like, I'm not gonna have any sugar. Oh yeah, you had the cleanest diet. Because you said, I need the most clarity now.
- [24:56]
Brie Bella
Yeah.
- [24:57]
Nikki Bella
And I think sometimes you'll get put in this situation, want to numb themselves. So they go, you know, they, they might start to drink more or you know, consume other things more than what they usually do. And I was really blown away how you handled that. I feel like you should tell Everyone. Because that's hard to do, but you did it so well and tell everyone what you felt from it.
- [25:18]
Brie Bella
So, yes, I knew that I wanted. It was kind of the first time in my life where something bad happened to me. And I was like, instead of pushing that trauma aside and then being in therapy 20 years later, 10 years, whatever it may be, like, just moving forward. And you and I were kind of raised in that way. You just keep going. Like, you just stay strong and you keep going. It was the first time where I was like, no, I'm going to look at it in the face. I'm going to take it on and I'm going to heal myself. I'm going to go through it. It's going to hurt, but I'm going to do it. And so I didn't want. I wanted to feel it. I brought in more nutrients. So I'd make like a water every morning and put in all these different nutrients, make sure I was getting my greens. As people would say, keep feeding your soul. The best stuff.
- [26:08]
Nikki Bella
Right.
- [26:08]
Brie Bella
As you all know, we brought Carrie on. Carrie and I did sessions almost every day. I feel like, well, poor thing. We would do like two sessions a week. And then I'd be calling her a lot. Like, when I just thought the world was over because, you know, I. I was. You know, when you're a mom, too, I don't. I. My goal was I don't want Mateo to ever see me affected. So I made sure to keep things really strong, or I kept. Made sure to stay strong. But when he was around, make. Be really happy and keep things warm and loving. And he's been thriving.
- [26:41]
Nikki Bella
Thriving, you guys.
- [26:42]
Brie Bella
Day one. Mateo's been amazing. He is such a happy little boy. He is. He has two parents that love him. He's a very happy boy. I increased prayer. I was. I always pray a lot, but I made sure to get down on my knees and pray, like.
- [26:56]
Nikki Bella
And she did, because I saw it a couple times.
- [26:58]
Brie Bella
Yeah, I would only listen to gospel music or meditation. And I gotta tell you, it's. Music is big for us when we don't even realize it. And I put together a playlist that wasn't about fu. It was strictly just give me the word of what I believe in. And I just want gospel music. That's. So I was doing that journaling more than ever. It's sad when things happen and you realize, like, I think that's where I've been. The most sad is I'm like, I always want the greatest things for them and I hope that they one day are so happy with themselves and. And they have nothing but happiness, you know? Right. Sometimes people feel like they are in the position where they have nothing to lose or they've already lost everything. So. Which is sad because for that person, that's, you know, not true. And it's sad that they felt they had to go down that path to do that. And that's where I feel like I have a long journey to forgive.
- [28:00]
Nikki Bella
I agree. Me too.
- [28:02]
Brie Bella
But. Well, with a lot of things.
- [28:05]
Nikki Bella
Yeah.
- [28:05]
Brie Bella
You know, but yeah, it's weird. It's okay. I get stronger every day, so.
- [28:13]
Nikki Bella
You really do.
- [28:15]
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- [28:29]
Brie Bella
To the people it's better over here.
- [28:33]
Fidelity Representative
After investing billions to light up our network, T Mobile is America's largest 5G network. Plus right now you can switch, keep your phone and we'll pay it off up to $800. See how you can save on every plan versus Verizon and AT&T. @t mobile.com KeepAndSwitch up to four lines.
- [28:52]
T-Mobile Representative
Via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlocked device credit service ported 90 plus days with device ineligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months.
- [29:03]
Nikki Bella
Is there anything else you would like to tell the the listeners or the people who've supported you throughout all of this? Is there anything else? Because you know the next episodes you're gonna have, it's gonna be Brie and Nikki. The good old Brie and Nikki that.
- [29:19]
Brie Bella
Yeah, it will be.
- [29:20]
Nikki Bella
You know, I want that you guys all love. And also this is the thing though that Nikki does want is that if any of you are going through this and any of you feel like you need to talk about it or you need help or advice or anything, we do have our hotline that we're constantly checking the voicemails. So it's not going to be the last time she talks about divorce. Not going to be the last time she talks about co parenting and we're definitely going to have those chit chats. But if there is, if you do have a question for Nikki.
- [29:47]
Brie Bella
Yeah, please.
- [29:48]
Nikki Bella
833 Garcia 2. Call it. And even if you just want to tell her what you're going through, life is so Dang hard. And we all got to support each other to get through it. And it's the holidays. And the holidays can make divorced people, single people, people going through, like, not fun things, feel so alone. So you have us. So head up the hotline.
- [30:11]
Brie Bella
You do. I guess for me, it, it's. I am just so beyond grateful for all the people in my life. One thing I want people to know is don't be afraid to lean on your support group. I really leaned in. You, mom, my management team, Scott, who you guys. Scott's popped on before, right? People know who Scott is. You guys have seen him at the live shows. My lawyers, my, even my entertainment lawyer who didn't even, you know, wasn't even a part of things, but, like, was there for me every second. So I was getting, you know, like, understanding what people were saying because obviously, you know me, I just come with so much love and light, like, oh, I don't know, know. And so he helped me through that and the love and the support, I'm just so beyond grateful for. My friends, my cousins, like aunts, uncles, like, there were just some people, they let me just lean on them and they would give me incredible advice or just get random text messages. How are you doing? Thinking of you. Love you. That all helped me so much. It made me realize how important that stuff is. When I was getting check ins, look, it gives me chills. It meant more than anything to me. And I would cry or I'd smile. And there were some people I, you know, me, I'm notorious for not getting back to, but just reading it, I was like, oh, my goodness. Like, it made me feel good or seeing voicemails from people, people who I haven't talked to in years. Reaching out, like, it meant more than anything to me and my, my, my heart and soul needed it. My mental health needed that. And so I'm just so grateful and blessed for the group of people I have in my life, like. And also, like, I've always been strong in my faith, but I've become even stronger my faith. And I have never have felt so held by God and my Lord Jesus Christ and Mother Mary and like, our. My whole Catholic team came in and Bri and I were born and raised in the Catholic religion, but, like, I leaned in so much more on my religion and I felt held and feeling held by my faith really got through so much. Like, I knew that there was going to be a tomorrow. And the tomorrow may have not been on the podcast. Maybe it was never going to be an entertainment. I Had no idea. But I knew no matter what, there was going to be tomorrow and I was going to be Mateo's mama. And that's all what mattered to me, you know, And. And I was just so. I. It made me then so grateful for my grandparents that brought faith into my life and for my coal aside that always kept it strong and that I had somewhat of a belief. And then, like, I mean, you guys, I will never. Like, Bree knew I was one night on, like, put my tail to bed. I was just on the floor, like, aching, crying, sobbing. I didn't talk to anyone, but I thought that was it. And I just remember being on my knees, like, why? Why is this happening? I think there was like another headline of just lies and hurt. And I was just like, why? I did everything for this person. Like, I don't understand. I was just. I was a mess. And I just said, God, I just. Because I felt like I was getting hit with losses, right? And I couldn't express why this was happening to the world because I wanted to stay private. And I just remember being on my knees just like, God, are you still there? Like, I need a sign. I need to know you're still there. And I'm doing the right thing by handling this with love and. And light and please, please, like, give me that sign. And every morning I do the same thing when I wake up. And you know, at that point, it was still every day with Mateo. I open up the same curtains to start the coffee, and if he needs something, and I open up the curtains and the biggest double rainbow. Like, I can't even describe it to you because it was like a tilted rainbow and then the colors inside of it didn't match, like the outside sky. And it's just like vibrant, beautiful, vibrant and gorgeous. And it's just right there in my face. Double rainbow. And then how the sunrise looked and. And I just broke down crying and I was like, thank you, God. Like, that's what I needed because there's. There is you.
- [34:32]
Nikki Bella
Always a rainbow after the storm.
- [34:33]
Brie Bella
And that's what I was like, there's always a rainbow after the storm. And it just. And I felt like I felt this just warmth come across me. And I felt hugged and held because that was the hardest thing going through this. I never got, like a hug to say, like, it's gonna be okay. I just don't have that person in my life. There's no. No pop up. You know, you usually would get that maybe from your husband or. You know what? I. I didn't get one hug of.
- [35:01]
Nikki Bella
Like, a big school dad.
- [35:03]
Brie Bella
Yeah. A big squeeze of, like, it's going to be okay. And so I was craving that, and it was weird, but that rainbow and the feeling that came over me. I felt like I was being hugged and, like, it's gonna be okay. We're here. We got you. You're gonna be okay. And so that's. So that makes me. Yeah, that makes me emotional.
- [35:25]
Nikki Bella
But I bet it makes you.
- [35:26]
Brie Bella
Because I am gonna be okay. No matter.
- [35:29]
Nikki Bella
Okay.
- [35:30]
Brie Bella
And I knew through this, and even though this has been the hardest few months of my life. My life and doing it as a mom, it's. You know, it's been hard. But I know no matter what, it's gonna be okay. Because I have people in my life that love me, love me. You, family, friends, people I work with who've turned into family. Like, we. You just get bonded. And I, like, it's just. There's people who are there, and I'm just grateful for that. And I'm grateful for what God's given me. You know, I look. I look at so many things different, like, because I've been off all these things. Like, I felt like I was seeing clear, and I was. I appreciate Mother Nature a lot, but even more and just taking in the little things. Right. But, yeah, I just. I'm gonna get through this. And I. You know, it's going to be hard. Co parenting sucks. You know, it sucks in the way. Because I want my baby boy every night. Like, I never. I didn't imagine having a family and see my son half the time. That wasn't. That wasn't what I wanted. But I'm here, and I'm gonna do it, and I'm gonna do it damn well. And I'm just gonna keep praying and shooting love and light at that other person that they are one day, you know, gonna be the person they're meant to be. Because I think they still. I'll even say no, I think they're still meant to be something great. I. I do think he's meant to be something great. And I think sometimes we just get lost on a path, and that's fine. Like, out of anyone, maybe I'm just the one who can take it, you know? And I'm gonna do that for Mateo. You know, Mateo will always be number one, so.
- [37:12]
Nikki Bella
You will.
- [37:13]
Brie Bella
I'll always, always be number one. And that's why even seeing the words or hearing some of them, it can affect me. You can't affect me.
- [37:21]
Nikki Bella
Nope.
- [37:22]
Brie Bella
Because I'm not here for you. I'm here for someone else.
- [37:26]
Nikki Bella
Yep.
- [37:27]
Brie Bella
And so people can think what they want because I told you when a few times went to grocery store and people we've either worked with in the past or know how they like turn. They looked at me and turned around.
- [37:36]
Nikki Bella
Or something because I'm so not that person.
- [37:39]
Brie Bella
But I just. I give. I didn't even care. I just. It kind of made me giggle. But I'm fine. I'm good. I'm good.
- [37:48]
Nikki Bella
I good thing I wasn't there.
- [37:51]
Brie Bella
But that's what I mean. When feisty people go out of your life and it's almost like I you need it. I'm happy that half the people are out of my life that I don't have to always please. Right. You know, I always feel like I had to please other people in certain ways. Make sure to do this for them. Hook them up with this, do that. Blah blah blah.
- [38:10]
Nikki Bella
I don't have.
- [38:10]
Brie Bella
I'm not going to.
- [38:11]
Nikki Bella
Energy. Energy. They're gone.
- [38:13]
Brie Bella
They're gone. See you later, alligator. And nothing but love. Love and light. And that's right.
- [38:20]
Nikki Bella
So right.
- [38:21]
Net Credit Representative
Net Credit is here to say yes to a personal loan or line of credit when other lenders say no. Apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the the same day. Loans offered by Net Credit or lending partner banks and serviced by Net Credit application subject to review and approval. Learn more@netcredit.com partner net credit credit to the people.
- [38:39]
Fidelity Representative
After investing billions to light up our network, T Mobile is America's largest 5G network. Plus right now you can switch keep your phone and we'll pay it off up to $800. See how you can save on every plan versus Verizon and at&t@t t mobile.com.
- [38:55]
T-Mobile Representative
KeepAndSwitch up to four lines via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlocked device credit service ported 90 plus days with device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months.
- [39:09]
Nikki Bella
Has there been a quote you've been looking at constantly or something? A motto? Anything that you feel like is your go to every day.
- [39:19]
Brie Bella
So it's very short and sweet.
- [39:21]
Nikki Bella
I love it.
- [39:22]
Brie Bella
But I lived it and I was like that. It's true. Laughter is the best medicine. I got to be on a set a month ago and I just laughed and I laughed and I realized I needed to laugh. I needed laughter back in my life and how it made me feel and to just have those moments of laughing again and being around people who were Laughing and funny and all the things. And I was like, I get it. Laughter truly is the best medicine because I just felt. Felt it naturally healing, and it was. It was amazing, and it's so true. So when you're going through hard times, just bring in the laughters as well as you can. Movie show. I don't. Whatever it is, just bring in the laughter where you can, because it truly is the best medicine. It. Your soul needs it. If feeds it, bring in that laughter. And I think it's even our birthday weekend.
- [40:21]
Nikki Bella
How hard did we all cry? Laugh.
- [40:22]
Brie Bella
I mean, because we had our cousin.
- [40:24]
Nikki Bella
And our, like, best friends and a bunch of our mom friends.
- [40:27]
Brie Bella
Right. And they flew in town, like, to see, you know, be there for Bri and I, and. And we just cried. Laugh about things.
- [40:35]
Nikki Bella
I haven't laughed that hard in a while.
- [40:37]
Brie Bella
In a long time. And it was so. It felt so good. It was amazing. And that's what I've really realized. Laughter truly is the best medicine.
- [40:45]
Nikki Bella
Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you for doing this, Nicole.
- [40:48]
Brie Bella
Yeah.
- [40:49]
Nikki Bella
You know, I. I know how much it means to so many of the people that listen and just love you and support you.
- [40:57]
Brie Bella
Yeah.
- [40:57]
Nikki Bella
And it says a lot.
- [40:58]
Brie Bella
Thank you. It does.
- [41:00]
Nikki Bella
And I just. I will keep praying for your situation and for everyone. Everyone.
- [41:05]
Brie Bella
Not get so amp.
- [41:07]
Nikki Bella
No, no.
- [41:07]
Brie Bella
Actually, give yourself a hernia.
- [41:10]
Nikki Bella
A hernia?
- [41:10]
Brie Bella
Or what is it? An ulcer.
- [41:12]
Nikki Bella
Ulcer. A hernia.
- [41:13]
Brie Bella
I don't know. I meant. Oh, yeah, that's a.
- [41:15]
Nikki Bella
Don't worry. I feel like I'm carrying a lot of. A lot of things on my shoulder.
- [41:19]
Brie Bella
Yeah, I was gonna say, you just gotta let it go.
- [41:22]
Nikki Bella
Let it go.
- [41:24]
Brie Bella
There you go.
- [41:25]
Nikki Bella
Let it go.
- [41:26]
Brie Bella
Okay.
- [41:26]
Nikki Bella
Okay. But this is the thing. I mean, I will. And I know mom says the same thing to me and my PR team.
- [41:33]
Brie Bella
But I'm also like, no, but.
- [41:35]
Nikki Bella
No. I feel like I've let it go my whole life, and I actually. I turned 41, and I'm still like. Actually, I'm not gonna let it go because I'm gonna let you know how I feel. And then I walk away feeling so good.
- [41:45]
Brie Bella
Yeah. Oh, and if you're wondering, I did archive my whole feed on my Instagram, and that's because mom is starting fresh.
- [41:53]
Nikki Bella
Can't wait. I'm sure the selfies will be coming back.
- [41:57]
Brie Bella
Oh, for sure. I've got to.
- [42:00]
Nikki Bella
All right, everyone, well, you can find videos on the Nikki and Bri show, IG page, Tik Tok, Facebook, and honestly, please call us at 833GARCIA2 we truly mean what we say, that you aren't alone. We do see you and hear you and use that. And also, Nikki, she loves getting advice from people like this. You know, she's new to co parenting. She's new to being divorced. So please, you know, call, leave advice or if you have questions or you just want to tell us something, we are open ears. You know what birdie makes me do every night when I leave her room?
- [42:33]
Brie Bella
What?
- [42:34]
Nikki Bella
She just learned this, which is so funny. So. And she loves saying it.
- [42:37]
Brie Bella
See you later, alligator in a wild crocodile.
- [42:41]
Nikki Bella
And I, you guys, when I walk out of room, just see her big cheeks.
- [42:43]
Brie Bella
Like, oh my. She's my little bird. Yeah, like, love wrote me the cutest little letter. Yeah, she is just a heart of gold, that one. I mean, she worries about her dodo.
- [42:53]
Nikki Bella
Worries about her dodo.
- [42:55]
Brie Bella
You guys, she wrote me the cutest letter. Yeah, like, sweet little bird.
- [43:00]
Nikki Bella
All right, and we'll see you guys all on Wednesday. And hey, if you feel like someone needs to hear what we talked about today, please share our episode and make sure to subscribe. So you always know when Nikki and Bree have a new episode.
- [43:14]
Brie Bella
That's right. All right, everyone, Lots of love and light.
- [43:22]
Target Representative
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- [43:50]
Brie Bella
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- [44:00]
Target Representative
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- [44:03]
Brie Bella
Happier holidays from Target restrictions apply.