#495 Jimmy Kimmel LIVE, A Wild News Cycle & Nikki at The Last ERAS

Summary

Summary of The Nikki Glaser Podcast Episode #495: Jimmy Kimmel LIVE, A Wild News Cycle & Nikki at The Last ERAS

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Nikki Glaser Podcast
• Host/Author: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
• Description: Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.
• Episode: #495
• Title: Jimmy Kimmel LIVE, A Wild News Cycle & Nikki at The Last ERAS
• Release Date: December 12, 2024

---

Introduction

The episode kicks off with Nikki Glaser welcoming her co-hosts: Brian Frangie, Sean O'Connor, Matt Rogers, Andrew Collins, and Bowen Yang. The hosts engage in light-hearted banter, setting the tone for an engaging and candid discussion.

Navigating Late-Night Appearances

Timestamp: [44:07]

Sean O'Connor shares his experiences preparing for an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel LIVE. He discusses the collaborative process with producers, who research his online presence to tailor interview topics. Sean highlights the expectation for guests to bring their own discussion points, noting, “...every time I talk to a producer, they're like, you have so... my God, you make my job so easy.”

Notable Quote:

• Sean O'Connor [45:57]: "Every time I talk to a producer, they're like, you have so... my God, you make my job so easy."

The Impact of Health Insurance and Personal Struggles

Timestamp: [14:26] - [18:01]

Sean delves into a personal anecdote about a conflict with his mother during her visit to Vancouver for an ERAS tour. The discussion centers on the emotional toll of health insurance issues and family dynamics. Sean expresses frustration over his parents' inability to attend his special due to exhaustion from excessive traveling, leading to feelings of resentment and miscommunication.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean O'Connor [19:28]: "But it all comes from a place of, like, not honoring what you want."
• Sean O'Connor [17:07]: "She was like, well, yeah, well, we didn't go cause we wanted you to just have that weekend."

Celebrity Controversies and Public Perception

Timestamp: [30:00] - [40:35]

The hosts shift focus to recent celebrity controversies, particularly surrounding Jay-Z's alleged misconduct. They analyze the public and media's reaction, comparing it to past incidents like Bill Cosby's accusations. Sean criticizes Jay-Z's response to the allegations, noting the inadequacy of his apology and questioning the sincerity behind his public statements.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean O'Connor [34:11]: "Someone said he didn't even say he didn't do it. Nowhere in it did he not deny it at all in the whole thing."
• Bowen Yang [33:36]: "The Cosby accusers are hosting the SAG Awards."

Social Behavior in Public Spaces and Concert Etiquette

Timestamp: [45:00] - [60:38]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing social etiquette at concerts and public places. Nikki and the co-hosts express frustration with attendees who disrupt others by excessively filming or using their phones inappropriately. Sean shares his experience at the ERAS Vancouver concert, criticizing a fellow attendee for blocking views and ruining the experience for others.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean O'Connor [48:32]: "It's a way to still feel comfortable in an uncomfortable moment."
• Sean O'Connor [51:56]: "It's the most awkward thing ever to tell the barista."
• Sean O'Connor [57:51]: "Has it really been since 2020 that this has gone to shit?"

The Wild News Cycle and Its Effects

Timestamp: [25:07] - [30:45]

The discussion turns to the overwhelming nature of the current news cycle, with Sean and Matt exploring how constant exposure to negative news impacts mental health and societal behavior. They highlight the role of AI in exacerbating misinformation and the challenges individuals face in discerning truth from falsehood.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean O'Connor [30:15]: "But if you feel like they care about us, which we do. Like, we all want companies to care about us. None of them do."
• Matt Rogers [30:45]: "If you just avoid surgery, if you just avoid..."

Personal Anecdotes and Comedic Insights

Throughout the episode, the hosts share various personal stories and comedic insights. From Sean recounting awkward interactions at concerts and gyms to Matt discussing experiences with terrible gigs, the conversation remains lively and relatable. The hosts use humor to navigate serious topics, making the episode both entertaining and thought-provoking.

Notable Quotes:

• Matt Rogers [61:03]: "I was like, no one can even hear what I'm saying."
• Sean O'Connor [63:26]: "I love the idea of a white party where it's transitioning to a freak off."

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Nikki and her co-hosts reflect on the discussed topics, emphasizing the importance of empathy and respectful behavior in public spaces. They acknowledge the challenges posed by the modern news cycle and societal changes post-2020, urging listeners to strive for better interpersonal interactions.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean O'Connor [64:35]: "It is; we're living in a world where people do not care about other people and like, don't even consider other people's experiences around them at all."
• Matt Rogers [69:41]: "It's a combination of that. And also, everyone was being told what they can and can't do, which just... it woke up something inside people."

Closing Remarks: The episode concludes with reminders about upcoming appearances on shows like Jimmy Kimmel LIVE and promotions for additional content available on YouTube. The hosts thank listeners for tuning in and encourage them to subscribe for more insightful and humorous discussions in future episodes.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

1. Sean O'Connor [45:57]: "Every time I talk to a producer, they're like, you have so... my God, you make my job so easy."
2. Sean O'Connor [17:07]: "She was like, well, yeah, well, we didn't go cause we wanted you to just have that weekend."
3. Sean O'Connor [34:11]: "Someone said he didn't even say he didn't do it. Nowhere in it did he not deny it at all in the whole thing."
4. Sean O'Connor [48:32]: "It's a way to still feel comfortable in an uncomfortable moment."
5. Sean O'Connor [57:51]: "Has it really been since 2020 that this has gone to shit?"
6. Sean O'Connor [64:35]: "It is; we're living in a world where people do not care about other people and like, don't even consider other people's experiences around them at all."

---

This episode of The Nikki Glaser Podcast offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and sharp commentary on contemporary issues ranging from celebrity scandals to social etiquette in public settings. Nikki Glaser and her co-hosts provide listeners with an entertaining yet critical look at the evolving dynamics of modern life, all delivered with their signature wit and honesty.

Transcript

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Brian Frangie]

ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Sean O'Connor]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his.

[Brian Frangie]

Daughter moves back in.

[Matt Rogers]

The last time you walked out that door, you look back at me and.

[Brian Frangie]

Gave me a double bird.

[Sean O'Connor]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Brian Frangie]

The wheels come off.

[Sean O'Connor]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults? If you watch the news lately, that's.

[Matt Rogers]

Not a thing anymore.

[Brian Frangie]

New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Sean O'Connor]

This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Save the date for your cordially invited, a hilarious new wedding comedy starring Will.

[Matt Rogers]

Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon.

[Sean O'Connor]

Chaos ensues when two weddings are accidentally booked on the same weekend at the same venue. Uh oh.

[Matt Rogers]

Will Ferrell plays the father of the.

[Sean O'Connor]

Bride and Reese Witherspoon is the sister.

[Bowen Yang]

Of the other bride.

[Sean O'Connor]

And they go head to head to make sure the ones they love get their special day together on screen. For the first time ever, it's Ferrell versus Witherspoon. Chaos comedy and alligator wrestling await you and invited watch January 30th on Prime Video. Spectrum Business knows that small business owners put in the work. It's unlimited hours, unlimited effort and unlimited passion. All to unlock the unlimited potential of your business. Get fast, reliable Internet, advanced WI fi with security shield and an unlimited mobile line, all only $49.99 a month. Learn how Spectrum Business can connect your business to unlimited [e-mail] business. It's your business made limitless. That's Life Unlimited. That's Spectrum Business. Restrictions apply often not available in all areas. Where'd you get those shoes? Easy. They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into Right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com the Nikki Glazer podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, Here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. I'm in Los Angeles. Joined with me here, of course, is Brian. Frangie.

[Matt Rogers]

Hello.

[Sean O'Connor]

Hello. Sean O'Connor. Hi. And Andrew Collins.

[Matt Rogers]

Remember that? Yeah, I don't remember, actually. What's up? What is that for, like an airline? Yeah, it's.

[Sean O'Connor]

Well, I had a bit for a while that I. Whatever the. The song Save Tonight Fight the Break of dawn, whenever that would be playing. And like at a restaurant or, you know, bar or whatever, I just go like, what is this song? And just see what people do around you when you claim to have never heard that song.

[Matt Rogers]

I love doing so it wouldn't work.

[Sean O'Connor]

As well now because I'm sure Gen Z M, like, hasn't heard that song before.

[Bowen Yang]

Nobody has heard of Eagle Eyed Cherry.

[Sean O'Connor]

Eight years ago, that song, like. No. There's no one that existed in the adult world that wouldn't have recognized that song. But it's so funny. There is something in your knowledge that hasn't gotten to you that you just coincidentally have missed every single time. And someone eventually will go, you've never heard of that? And it's like, yeah, because it wasn't my fault. It's not like I'm like, trying not to. I just. It didn't get to me. Like, I didn't know what a CPA was until I was 24.

[Matt Rogers]

A CPA?

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. I had no idea. It never. Well, it just never got to me.

[Matt Rogers]

There's no reason for you to need to know what a CPA you would have.

[Sean O'Connor]

I would have loved for you to be there when people found out that I had not know what a CPA was.

[Matt Rogers]

That's the machine you put on your face when you're sleeping.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, yeah, the CPAP machine.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, cpa.

[Matt Rogers]

I remember. I have a, like, a pivotal growth moment for me was when I was. I interned at UCB Chelsea in like 2004 or 5 or something. And I was. The interns there just get treated like shit. You know, they make you literally clean, like bloody tampons out of the toilets.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

And in return you get a discount on classes. It's like, oh, God, Unbelievable.

[Bowen Yang]

And improvisers always have a really heavy flow, so.

[Matt Rogers]

But I remember I was sitting in the box office and I said something like, scientology? I've never seen, like, some ridiculous movie like, Back to the Future. And they ridiculed me for, like, the rest of the summer for not having seen. Yeah. And it's like, I'm like, 10 years younger than everybody in here.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, that's the. That's the. I have a joke about it. It's like, that's what old people do to young people to make ourselves feel better about the fact that we're not young as we just make them feel bad about things they weren't alive to experience. Like, yeah, there's a million movies that Gen Z M hasn't seen that I'm like, I want to go. You haven't seen Clueless? You haven't seen what was Shawshank Redemption? I don't even know if that was one of them. But there was one recently where I was like, you have to see it. And she was like, okay, just add it to the list. And I'm like, no, no. This one came out three years ago. This one I can recommend. But the others, I'm like, no, I haven't seen Raiders of the Lost Ark. I haven't seen Back to the Future. I haven't seen Star Wars. I haven't seen Empire Strikes Back. Like, I. But I'm entitled to. Because I was too young.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

And they look blurry and old and shitty now. And it doesn't. Aesthetically, it's not pleasing to look at. Like, I'm sorry, but black and white things aren't. That's why you make your phone grayscale when you want to look at it less. Because it's not vis. Interesting. That's why. Like. Like, when you used to do cameos in our apartment, you wouldn't turn on a light. It would be, like, blurry. And I'd be like, you gotta, like, make it look nice so people like looking at it.

[Andrew Collins]

No, I'm punk rock.

[Sean O'Connor]

People pay extra for that.

[Bowen Yang]

It's the grittiness I respected.

[Sean O'Connor]

The grit I respect.

[Andrew Collins]

Well, you got to go full grit. You can't go half grit.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, no.

[Bowen Yang]

You don't want to be too glossy.

[Sean O'Connor]

Like, no, that's like when you put on makeup as a girl, you're like, you're getting ready. You're like, I should put on mascara. And then you're like, well, if I'm doing mascara, I should do an eyeliner. If I'm doing an eyeliner, I should probably do a lip liner. And then you just are drag queen makeup eventually. Cause it's either all or nothing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, but I do kind of love that current art being made. Like, TV and movies all kind of look so shitty now. Everything is just like. It's like you're in the room with them where that's what they want you to feel. And it used to be like, come on. It's like a play happening in front of your eyes.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, I like when things look real.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. You want it to all be reality tv.

[Matt Rogers]

Shawn, have you watched anything on Netflix in the last five years? They're all, like, perfect. Perfectly shot.

[Bowen Yang]

They're not. It looks.

[Matt Rogers]

Unless it's Amelia Perez.

[Bowen Yang]

It looks so fake.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, any. I feel like everything on Netflix has this particular aesthetic where it's meant to look perfect.

[Sean O'Connor]

Cheap.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it looks, but it's, like, cheap. They're just using, like, the best camera they could possibly do. But, like, if you. I don't want to be like, I'm the 70s movie guy. But, like, when you, like, watch that, it's like everything is like a real house. And, like.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

There's, like, so much care put into everything that's in the background.

[Sean O'Connor]

A clip of Jamie Lee Curtis looking young. She's in a real house. Or Cher in a. Like, I don't watch old movies, but whenever you see a clip of one, it's like, in a real set. It's not a. It's not perfectly. Aesthetically, everything's curated. Things should look sloppy.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, I would.

[Sean O'Connor]

Even sloppiness now looks too manufactured.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, it's great that you mentioned Jamie Lee Curtis. Like, if you see an old clip of her. Her hair looks like. No offense to Jamie Lee Curtis. It looks like shit.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, it looks like there was no care put into it, but it also gives, like, oh, my God. That's like a real teenage who's gonna be murdered. And I care more.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. Yeah. I want things to look more real.

[Matt Rogers]

Spielbergian.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. I wanna.

[Andrew Collins]

Does it cost more, though, to make it look less real, like, using film as opposed to digital?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Collins]

It takes more time.

[Bowen Yang]

Film costs so much money. And then, like. And then, like, on top of that, it's like, gonna. It disintegrates over time. So, like, there's no reason to do that when you could just put everything on the screen.

[Sean O'Connor]

It is so interesting that things like, there's no way unless you digitally enhance them and have people spe. Hours, like, getting them back to looking good. There are things that are shot that will never look the way they looked when they aired.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Sean O'Connor]

And you just think, no, it's on tv. Of course it will. But no, it's literally gotten old. Like, everything else does. Everything goes.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, yeah. I mean, people spend. I mean, Warner Brothers spends millions of dollars, like, every three years to make Friends look good still.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, yeah, you're so right.

[Bowen Yang]

Because, like, if you watch, like, Seinfeld on Netflix, it still kind of looks like the 90s. But, like, friends, they've enhanced, like.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, the colors. They're spending so much money to make this.

[Sean O'Connor]

And this has been going on for, I think, over a decade or more. But, like reruns of Friends, everyone talks like this. Everyone sounds like they're on helium. Cause they're speeding it up so they can fit in more commercials.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Sean O'Connor]

So, like, literally, Monica sounds like this. And Chandler, like, it's like it's all sped up by, like, point two, I would say.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

No, 0.2.

[Bowen Yang]

You're right.

[Sean O'Connor]

It is to fit in one more commercial. It's one more, you know, $250,000 A.D. they can sell.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

To just make you.

[Matt Rogers]

We're just a come. Used to sell toilet paper.

[Sean O'Connor]

And I'll tell you, I love speeding things up. I was watching Conclave over the weekend, which I love, but I would have loved to speed that up. I get it. I can just insert here, this just in your head. Isabella Rosalina took longer to walk down this hall. Just remember that it was intended to be longer.

[Bowen Yang]

You're. I miss that. Like, things used to be quick and, like, move, and now everyone, like, I don't know what happened, like, in the last 10 years, but everyone wants, like, to see people, like, parking then getting out of the car.

[Andrew Collins]

I like that. I like the slow.

[Bowen Yang]

You like, hearing, like, the. Like, going, like, beep, beep. Like, the doors open like that.

[Andrew Collins]

Will it open, though? Latches being like Boardwalk Empire or something.

[Bowen Yang]

I want to see four people sitting at a table talking real fast.

[Sean O'Connor]

I want. Yeah. I want the speed of a veep. I want the speed of a. Just a Sorkin suit. Sorkin.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's what I want.

[Matt Rogers]

One theory is that they need to justify people going to the movie theaters, making the movies longer. So it's like an event, Right.

[Sean O'Connor]

Where you can just really tap.

[Matt Rogers]

Like. That's another reason why comedies have gone extinct.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Because, like, are you really gonna drive to the movie theater and park and buy a ticket for a 70 minute, 80 minute movie.

[Bowen Yang]

But I'm like, I'm so touched. When a movie's 90 minutes, it's like, I love it. Respect my time.

[Sean O'Connor]

I don't get it. Like, why are we trying to keep everything else so efficient in our lives? But movies are getting so much longer. It's a really weird paradox. I feel like everything's like self checkout. Like everything's like, go, go, go. And especially the American way. It's just like everything is catering to that except movies.

[Matt Rogers]

I think there's a. Well, no, not YouTube is also being like this. The most popular videos on YouTube are like four hours long.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. Where they're like, here's the history of fast pass at Disney. And it's like eight hours long and it has like 70 million.

[Matt Rogers]

I think this is a response to two places like TikTok. Shortening everything. People crave just like sitting down with something for a long time and they don't want to read a book.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. Reading books is like so out. People don't read anymore. It's really hard for me to do it. I keep trying to do it. It's tough. What do you think about when Chris has YouTube TV and I don't watch TV, but I'll see when he has sports on. Like, it'll come on sometimes and it'll be like, here's a moment of Zen and it'll just give you like some like, you know, just like grass waving in the wind for about 20 seconds. Why would they do that? There has to be a monetary gain from that. Because they don't care about us having a second to meditate.

[Matt Rogers]

Why would a it's ad that they didn't fill.

[Sean O'Connor]

There's no way they can't fill it with some bullshit. Like, why not sell. Make an ad. Sell an ad for $20 instead of that? Like, why put that there?

[Bowen Yang]

I think what happens is the ads that they are running are like through Fox, like, or like NBC or. And people like local ads will play there and YouTube won't do, like the.

[Matt Rogers]

Local, like hard YouTube, which is. Which uses go. This is. This is right in Ali's wheelhouse. This is what she does for a living. Yeah, she. She points out stuff like that all the time. And she's like, why didn't they fill that? Or then explains like, there's just no.

[Sean O'Connor]

Way they're doing it out of the kindness. Like you need a trick to keep you watching.

[Andrew Collins]

Like, oh, you took a break.

[Sean O'Connor]

No, like we gave you a break. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, if They've done studies that it maybe keeps people watching because they're like, YouTube cares about me.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah. Like, they're like, that's not it.

[Bowen Yang]

They're petting me. Honestly, I. I feel like Google cynical enough to think that, like, going. Like, we could trick people into thinking.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, I mean, they definitely have studied us. If they could study us and learn that if we, like, they're more. If we feel like they care about us, which we do. Like, we all want companies to care about us. None of them do.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like when you spend that much money, if it's. Especially if it's like Sunday tickets.

[Sean O'Connor]

But if it benefited them, if it made. If it kept people watching more than filling it with ads to generate a sense of.

[Andrew Collins]

It's like a palate trust.

[Matt Rogers]

I like that as a theory, but I guarantee you it's due to some contractual. We can't play an ad here because we're running the Fox ads and we. And maybe in three years, we'll be able to do it after the contract expires and they rewrite it.

[Sean O'Connor]

But there's no. They would just. No one's doing anything out of kindness.

[Matt Rogers]

No, no, no. Anything that. Well, at least corporations. I mean, your mother might do something out of kindness, but, like, corporate.

[Sean O'Connor]

I got into a fight with her this weekend. We got into a huge fight. We were in Vancouver for Eras tour. And mom, if you're listening, I'm really sorry, because I should have just not. I just left it. But, like, a thing that irks me that I think everyone does is like, we're. She was commenting on how beautiful Vancouver was and how it's kind of, like, reminiscent of Seattle. And I go, have you been to Seattle? And she was like, one time. And I go, well, you could have gone twice, because I filmed my special there. But you guys didn't go, which obviously I'm still holding on to resentment of that. But the reason they didn't go, and I remember, was because they had traveled too much that month. Like, they were just for fun and stuff. But I'm like, oh, so they were just worn out from traveling. They were older, and they went to Schumer Special. Yeah, they had to get to Schumer.

[Matt Rogers]

Are you talking about your standup special that's been nominated for a Critics Choice Award, an Emmy, a Grammy, and a Golden Globe.

[Sean O'Connor]

Wait, so what is that? Is that egot? Wait, Grammy, Grammy, Golden Globe, Double G, Critic's Choice. So Kecked could be a Tony.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, Geck. Gek.

[Andrew Collins]

I mean, I'm starting to see a pattern that maybe they shouldn't come.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, yeah, no kidding. The first.

[Andrew Collins]

Maybe a little less pressure.

[Sean O'Connor]

She was like, well, yeah, well, we didn't go cause we wanted you to just have that weekend. We were always at things and we just felt like we were just too much for you. And I go, no, you didn't. You're changing the narrative. It was because you guys had traveled too much and you were tired.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, Elon Gale came.

[Sean O'Connor]

I mean, if he came, then it's like you were. I just don't. Like, we love Elon. There's one good Elon. No, the reason they didn't come is because they were tired, which is totally fine. And I like. And yes, I can still give them shit about it. But it was like, because they had traveled for fun too much, they couldn't come see their daughter tape her future Emmy.

[Matt Rogers]

They were too pooped from having fun.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes. But then she goes, we just. We. She made it about her being like, you know, virtuous. Like we wanted to step back and let you have. We bother you too much on those things. And I go, that's not. That's not what the story was. And she goes, yes, it was. And I go, no, it's because you're trying to go, it can be both. And I said, it can be. But it wasn't because I go, I've invited you to hundreds of tapings that you have come to. Never once have you ever said when you had the energy to go to something, never once had you said, it's too much for us to be there. You don't wanna deal with us. So why on that one did you. It just bothers me when people, not just my mom even I, do it sometimes where you just. You feel bad about something because you did something selfishly. And by selfish, I don't mean like it's a bad thing. You just did something out of your own self preservation. Because they were tired and they have a right to be and to say no to something. But then don't change the story that, like, I go, mom, you do this a lot. When you don't want to go to a party, you'll go, I don't want to go to this goddamn fucking party. And she goes, and you know what? They don't need us there. You know what we. They have too many people going and they don't have enough food for us. They start making. They have to make excuses why it's.

[Matt Rogers]

A moral justification for their behavior.

[Sean O'Connor]

But it all comes from A place of, like, not honoring what you want. Like, you. I'm tired. That's reason enough to not want to go to something.

[Matt Rogers]

She should just come up to you and say, I don't want to go to your special. I'm tired.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes. And that would have been fine because I would have been a little hurt and been like, come on. But ultimately, yeah, I would respect that. You did such a special.

[Matt Rogers]

You don't want me to come to your special. You hate me.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes, exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

You think I'm a piece of shit.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's what it was. And I was like, don't put me into this. Don't make me feel guilty about, like, it's your fault for thinking I'm such.

[Matt Rogers]

A shitty piece of shit.

[Sean O'Connor]

So we got into, like, a really big fight, like, right on the waterfront.

[Matt Rogers]

My presence will destroy your.

[Sean O'Connor]

It was not worth it.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Honestly, everything can't be beautiful at the same. And I feel like that generation, like, loves gaslighting. It's how they've, like, learned to live.

[Sean O'Connor]

And it's.

[Bowen Yang]

It's. It's a way. It's a way to still feel comfortable in an uncomfortable moment.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, it's. It really is about, like, it's not about her wanting to kind of evade some kind of blame. It's, like, about her not wanting to acknowledge that her feelings matter. It really is like, just her being, like, me being tired is not enough to get out of something, because I don't. I can't. That's not an excuse enough. I'm not important enough to, like, you know, value that. So I have to make it about other things.

[Matt Rogers]

This is like reverse Jewish mom guilt. This is like, are you Protestant, Catholic?

[Sean O'Connor]

Trickle down Catholic.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like Catholic. Because Jewish guilt would be like the reverse where, like, you try to get your kid to do something by being like, you don't want to go to this. Oh, I'm just a piece.

[Sean O'Connor]

I would never do that.

[Matt Rogers]

And this is the reverse, because I don't want to go to this. I'm a piece of shit.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes. Yes. My mom is the piece of shit.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes, yes, it is.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, treat your mother like this. Go ahead. Why don't you just throw. Your beautiful mother cooked you.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, I never related to that. The Jewish mother stereotype.

[Matt Rogers]

What a Catholic is. I'm a shithead and you don't want me around.

[Sean O'Connor]

You hate me. Yes, yes, yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, My mom is Catholic, very Catholic. And she's. The combination of the two is. At times, she's always putting it on me. So to let me know that like, she's base level guilt, guilty at all times, but then puts everything on me so I feel that guilt. But then also she will be like, like, oh, that. It's like this could be the last time you ever see me.

[Matt Rogers]

Whoa.

[Sean O'Connor]

God willing.

[Bowen Yang]

And then I'm like, oh, cool. I'm going to Target. Just thinking about my mom.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh my God. No, that's. That's. Yeah. To any moms listening and my mom in general, this is. It's not about you. I have the best mom ever. It's like I don't think there's a single mom who gets out of being ridiculed and overanalyzed and being annoying to their kid.

[Matt Rogers]

Thanks.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's almost like makes you not want to have kids because, you know, no matter what you do, it's not good enough. Unless you have an Italian son. They're going to hate you for stretches of time and resent you and say shitty things on their podcast even though you're the best.

[Matt Rogers]

Speaking of Italian sons.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh my God, Luigi. What's his last name?

[Bowen Yang]

Luigi Mangione.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's like that, that rap generator name or what that like Italian generator name. Didn't the Wu who. Who got their name from. Oh, Childish Gambino got his name from.

[Andrew Collins]

That generator post Malone. Got it.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

What are we allowed to say about this?

[Sean O'Connor]

That guy looks like. Okay, I know who he looks like now because I read on Reddit someone finally nailed it. Cuz I was like, he looks exactly like someone. And it's Dave Franco. That's what he looks like.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, another Italian.

[Sean O'Connor]

He's very attractive.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collins]

He's so handsome.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you think he's more attractive or less attractive now that he shot somebody?

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, well, less.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, that's not as good.

[Sean O'Connor]

Not into the bad boys. I'm just, I'm. Have you seen pictures of people him with like people at dinner and like him having friends? I'm just dying to know what he was like socially leading up to this.

[Andrew Collins]

Well, he's a valedictorian of his high school.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

He went to an Ivy League student.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

He's from a super wealthy family in Towson, Maryland.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

He's so into it.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's where Bob Castron's from.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, really? I mean, he's so cool. I think he's cool. Everything I've learned about him.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh no, Bob went to Towson. Sorry. Nevermind.

[Bowen Yang]

But there's an incredible thing where somebody found a tweet of a guy being like, from the summer being like, hey, I haven't heard from you in months. You promised me that you would be in my wedding. Please answer your phone.

[Sean O'Connor]

Wait, Tweeted at him.

[Bowen Yang]

Tweeted at him like his friend. And then there's just like now like 13,000 quote retweets being like, dude was locked in.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh my God, he was so locked.

[Bowen Yang]

In, he shut out.

[Andrew Collins]

Sorry I can't be at your wedding. I'm using a 3D printer.

[Sean O'Connor]

Being friends with this, like, this guy had friends.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Well, what's most compelling to me about this is. Well, we have to go to break.

[Sean O'Connor]

Okay, let's go to break and talk about Luigi when you get back.

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[Sean O'Connor]

Back to this shooter guy.

[Matt Rogers]

What's most compelling to me about this is this. He got a surgery on his back and they're saying that his personality changed after he got this surgery because he was in chronic pain. And then he got this probably spinal fusion or something like that. And we all know that back surgeries have a 50% chance, success, failure rate. And there's a problem.

[Sean O'Connor]

You don't know that. Thank you.

[Matt Rogers]

We all know that. Now. There is a. There's a. It's like a coin flip.

[Andrew Collins]

You don't know that.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. You don't know that. Surgery.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I saw Andrew. He was like nodding, pointing, being like, yes, yes.

[Andrew Collins]

Queen L7L, A L, A. The whole. Yeah, the cervix.

[Matt Rogers]

But I do believe that either he, he was driven mad by this surgery because of his interactions with the health insurance company. He also has two grandparents that died over the last like four or five years. And there's a theory that he had interactions with the health insurance company then.

[Sean O'Connor]

I feel like they died in 2017. I saw.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

So it's been long.

[Matt Rogers]

It's been long enough for him to go nuts. So those. That's a bullshit theory that.

[Andrew Collins]

Yeah, maybe you can't use your grandparents death for anything. They're like 80 years old. Oh, I shot up at school because my grandma died from old age.

[Matt Rogers]

The only thing you could do when.

[Bowen Yang]

Your grandparents die is write a My Chemical Romance album.

[Andrew Collins]

That drummer died.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, he did.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Collins]

My favorite band.

[Matt Rogers]

But I do think that it's possible he was in horrible pain and then he was dealing with the health insurance companies and they wouldn't pay for his surgeries. He probably was in financial trouble and that's why he targeted and read that book. Definitely the deny, delay, whatever. Depose, depose, Defend the Unabomber one too. That's my theory, is that this was a targeted attack because of a personal medical issue that was making him go crazy.

[Sean O'Connor]

And then Brian sent to Chris and I yesterday, like, the Sarno book could have, like, all of this could have been avoided if I just read the book about healing back pain.

[Matt Rogers]

That's right.

[Sean O'Connor]

You don't have to get back surgery.

[Matt Rogers]

If you just avoid surgery.

[Bowen Yang]

I know.

[Sean O'Connor]

Let's. If the, The. If the surgery is what radicalized him. That's absolutely true. That. That book.

[Andrew Collins]

I'm sure he probably got addicted to pills. I'm sure painkillers were.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collins]

And then he tried alternative medicine, apparently.

[Matt Rogers]

Mushrooms.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

But so many people are angry at insurance companies and are super smart geniuses and are in chronic pain that don't go this far. Like, yeah, it's gonna be. I wonder what we're gonna find out. It sucks that we don't have information.

[Bowen Yang]

And they're not gonna. It's gonna be like, it's gonna trickle out and then just stop.

[Sean O'Connor]

And what about the picture of him? Like, I was reading on Reddit, people were like, when have we ever seen a perp shot from inside the cell where he's standing? Like, he's asking his buddy to take his Tinder picture. Like, full body shot on a camera phone. Like, literally, someone goes in the. He was like, I look at the stuff all the time. I've never seen this even once in my life of someone inside a jail cell standing upright. Full body shot. That isn't a mugshot.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like the best mugshot I've ever seen.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's not even a mug shot. It's him and his, like, the mugshot is not up against the wall.

[Bowen Yang]

He's posing.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

He has a. Well, he has a. He's a political martyr in a way. And he's doing everything that you would do if you were trying to start a movement.

[Sean O'Connor]

Wait, what do you mean? What does he do? He didn't ask for the picture. He doesn't get to determine.

[Matt Rogers]

But the way that. It's just like, when Trump took his mugshot, he knew that this was a moment that he could use to fundraise. And this guy is using this. The hotter he is.

[Sean O'Connor]

He didn't make a face or anything. He just stood there. He was hot, but he can't help but be hot.

[Bowen Yang]

He didn't mean he did a.

[Sean O'Connor]

You think there was a lead?

[Andrew Collins]

Perceptible hot cigarette.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

He's like, yeah, I feel like he.

[Sean O'Connor]

Had his one foot out. He was leaning against a Tesla, holding.

[Bowen Yang]

The gun in a way. Well, I don't think anyone should get murdered. I do think this guy is like a Che Guevara figure.

[Matt Rogers]

He's a hero. This is like when Bin Laden got killed.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, it's kind of like. I mean, I'm saying that, but what does it mean?

[Matt Rogers]

I don't want to say that publicly. I don't think anyone should get murdered. However, I don't think anyone should get murdered. I don't think there should be a murder spree. However, it's been incredible to see the unity online between Democrats and Republicans, left and right, Fox News and cnn.

[Sean O'Connor]

We haven't all collectively gotten together on something since the slap. Like we were saying that before. The slap is the last time we all got together.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, but you just, you can only drive people so far. And the fact of the matter is these corporations have given people truly no out for the way that they've been treated. Corporations are getting more and more powerful and consumer rights are getting lower and lower and people are like, well, what do we do? And the only answer is, well, I guess I'll just kill you. Yeah, I guess I'll just kill. If literally I can't do anything to.

[Sean O'Connor]

Fix this health insurance problem, plus nine for more.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like, well, you know what? That's the one thing that this guy just put on the table. He's like, now this is an option. Are you gonna get better?

[Bowen Yang]

Right?

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, well, someone was saying that like, you know, they're upping their security. And someone had tweeted snarkily, it was like screenshotted that, oh, there could be another way that these people could protect themselves by maybe offering more health care to people. And it's like, well, that would cost money. Security is lot cheaper. Security for billionaires is not expensive for them, what, a couple hundred thousand a year? Or maybe a million a year?

[Bowen Yang]

Ye, yeah, a couple million a year. That's a tax write off.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. Either that or give people health care which kill people.

[Matt Rogers]

That's the only thing that may if there was another way to do it without killing someone.

[Andrew Collins]

What about tickling them?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, it could have tickled them.

[Andrew Collins]

Yeah, yeah, make them embarrassed.

[Bowen Yang]

No one should die. I'm just saying there's like eight healthcare CEOs and so many people have been fucked by.

[Andrew Collins]

Well, I saw A thing where they denied 32%.

[Matt Rogers]

They're the most denial company.

[Sean O'Connor]

They have AI just that was the biggest thing.

[Matt Rogers]

This CEO is responsible for implementing AI claims reps to their company. And they denied the most out of any company. And then they went in and they discovered that 90% of the AI claims were made falsely. Were decided falsely.

[Sean O'Connor]

So people like, they were wrong.

[Matt Rogers]

They were wrong. Yeah, that's another.

[Sean O'Connor]

But what is there right and wrong? Like what is what, what is there? It does, it seems to be arbitrary. What is it?

[Matt Rogers]

That's how it feels.

[Sean O'Connor]

I didn't even know there was a litmus to decide if it's right or wrong. I mean, I would assume it's all wrong if things aren't covered for, for a symptom of the thing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I feel like if you're paying into something and you, you're paying in for this exact time to use it, they should approve it no matter.

[Andrew Collins]

And they don't.

[Matt Rogers]

They did. They deny, they defend, they defund the police.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's. I've been following it and then this plus the Jay Z thing, it's been a very exciting, insane news.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

And I, I went to Eras tour in Vancouver over the weekend and I was before the show, I'm walking like on the floor, my mom and I are going to get water in between Gracie and Taylor, or maybe it was even before Gracie. And this girl comes to me and goes, Nikki. And she gets a picture and it's like, I'm a fan. And she goes and oh, I'm a journalist and you know, I work for NBC or whatever. And I was like, oh. And she was like, and did you hear Jay Z accused of raping a 13 year old with Diddy? And I was like, what? And she's like, Jay Z is accused of raping a 13. There's like so many 13 year olds.

[Andrew Collins]

It's on the Jumbotron.

[Matt Rogers]

There's so many 13 year olds that go, who's Jay Z?

[Sean O'Connor]

Exactly. Yeah, no kidding. And that is exactly. My mom goes, who? And I'm like, Jay Z, rape 13. Cause it's so loud, Lady Gaga's playing the pre music. And I go, no, my God. What? She was like, you're gonna see it on your phone. And I opened my phone and it was nowhere to be found. And I even wrote to Emily, I wrote to Chris, I was like, did you see the breaking news? Cause I'm in a bubble right here, I can't get good service. And I was like, oh, this isn't gonna get as much traction as this girl is claiming. But then, I mean, it did kind of blow up. But she was like, I broke the news story. I was like an hour ago, I broke it. And her name is on all the things.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Sean O'Connor]

Forget her name now. Sorry. It's not off the top of my head, but she's like, yeah, I gotta fly outta here as soon as this concert's over to go to New York to do a bunch of, you know, interviews for it. And, you know, but it was, it was wild to hear it from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

[Matt Rogers]

Are all the Diddy rapes just gonna get swept under the rug? Is this another Epstein 2.0 where it's just like, we thought that this was gonna like blow open the world and.

[Sean O'Connor]

Then, yeah, Chris was saying Cosby's like nothing ever. He's one of the most prolific rapists of ever.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, yeah, he has almost as many rapes as albums.

[Andrew Collins]

I think it is hard when, when there's so many. When you get so many rapes, it's hard to like pinpoint one. You gotta pinpoint just one. But then when they say, yeah, yeah, that's true. There's a, there's a sweet spot number.

[Sean O'Connor]

But I will say those Cosby accusers are all so famous now. Like, they got what they wanted. They were like, they really wanted fame and notoriety because it's, it makes you so instantly pop popular and like you can get on the COVID of Vogue if you just say that you've been raped by a comedian, it makes you like a global sensation overnight.

[Bowen Yang]

The Cosby accusers are hosting the SAG Awards.

[Andrew Collins]

I got something to tell you guys. Jay Z raped me. When you know.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, yeah, it instantly gets you.

[Matt Rogers]

But Cosby's blind now, isn't he?

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, one eye is like falling out. There's one like going bulging out the other way.

[Matt Rogers]

He's not fully.

[Bowen Yang]

R. Kelly's still in prison.

[Sean O'Connor]

He might be.

[Andrew Collins]

R. Kelly is in prison.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, that's right.

[Bowen Yang]

We still have him in prison.

[Andrew Collins]

And did you see Jay Z's apology?

[Sean O'Connor]

One red penny.

[Bowen Yang]

It's not an apology.

[Sean O'Connor]

Red penny.

[Andrew Collins]

It's not an apology.

[Sean O'Connor]

Someone said he didn't even say he didn't do it. Nowhere in it did he not deny it at all in the whole thing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Think of blue Ivy.

[Sean O'Connor]

No proofreading. Think of my 13 year old daughter.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, he just voiced a text.

[Sean O'Connor]

Exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. Too many exclamation marks. It really. It. Like, you know, just joking about this rather serious issue. It. It was just, like, it gave old man texting into his phone, screaming into the ether if it gave face. Angry Facebook political posts.

[Bowen Yang]

He definitely also thinks he's completely untouchable. And, like, why wouldn't you? Literally, the dude. The dude was a crack dealer who became a billionaire.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, in what way do you think he's. He thinks he's gonna go down.

[Sean O'Connor]

You're married to Beyonce. You're married to Beyonce, and she won Grammys for writing an album about you cheating. Like, even your failures have turned into gold.

[Matt Rogers]

Let me ask a question. So I saw a picture of Beyonce and Jay Z that they used in this article for them. And then Beyonce was wearing this. They were at, like, the beach or something. And Beyonce had this makeup on where she had, like, green eyeliner underneath her eyes. Eyes. How come that's not a thing more often? I thought that looked really good. Not over the eyes.

[Andrew Collins]

Know where this was going under the eyes?

[Sean O'Connor]

I think that's just such a very specific makeup choice that's too costumey for regular.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, let me find the picture, because it didn't look costumey to me.

[Sean O'Connor]

Okay, yeah, find the picture.

[Matt Rogers]

I'll find the picture.

[Sean O'Connor]

That. That sounds cool, though. And I think that the reason is. Is because that would look insane on most people.

[Bowen Yang]

Compliments it.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. That's a good question, though, regarding all of this. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I. I think the most important part of this Jay Z story is.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collins]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

But I just know that was a tense screening of Mufasa last night.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh.

[Andrew Collins]

Oh, yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

That was a weird vibe in the room. It was at a kid's movie that.

[Bowen Yang]

You know, I would love to. I. I mean, like, they definitely had to have talked for, like, three hours about whether or not he should go.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, my God.

[Bowen Yang]

And he was like, I'm going. I'm going. I love Billy Eichner.

[Sean O'Connor]

I want to know. I want. Is he. Timon. I want to know so badly, like, how that response that he put out came to be. He's on the toilet, feverishly talking, texting into his phone, sensing it does not run it by anyone in his, I would say, millions and millions of dollars of pr. Like, people that he's the team around him.

[Bowen Yang]

A PR person didn't even see it until we saw it.

[Sean O'Connor]

No way.

[Matt Rogers]

Didn't they see it.

[Andrew Collins]

Oh, I read it so differently. I read it like it's been prepared, ready to go. He got me then.

[Sean O'Connor]

No, no, not like misspellings. I Mean, he's meant to say psychics, but he wrote physics like there was misspellings in it. It was not one red penny. Made no sense to capitalize one red penny. And like, it just.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's. It's such an old.

[Matt Rogers]

You can tell.

[Bowen Yang]

That's like when he was like holding his phone, shaking, screaming, one red.

[Sean O'Connor]

It was like Mel Gibson, but it didn't capitalize it. So then he had to go and he had to hold it down and highlight it and then find the thing on his phone that caps it and ah. Because, you know, it doesn't do. Or he went all caps, one red petty. But either way, he had to like.

[Matt Rogers]

Go in an underlined.

[Sean O'Connor]

Also, it reminds me of when, like, I have to. Remember sometimes I said this to you. When that Eminem must go to rhymezone.com. he has to. It's just so cute to see someone so badass, like, having to do something like technical assholes and highlight it or like, press it down and go, where on the Google Doc does it have the underline? Do you. Is it up on edits or tools? And he had to like, ask Blue Ivy for help on it. She's like, that's how she finds out.

[Andrew Collins]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

He's like, someone's gonna tell her. It's like, no, Dad, I had to show you where. How all caps something. And why, by the way, like, we're talking about editing things. Why can't you highlight something and then make it all caps? You have to, like, go back and retype it in all caps.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Why can't you instantly all cap something?

[Matt Rogers]

If you. If you get some more of these independent word processors, you can do that.

[Sean O'Connor]

But why are they holding that back from every single. Like, that's the easiest.

[Matt Rogers]

That's for the 1%. That's for the billionaires to use, not us.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's so annoying. Is that the picture of the green eyeshadow? Green. Oh, that is very cool. Okay, so that's like a dusting of green eyeshadow. Like glittery green eyeshadow on the under. Like, it's really cool. I'll try it and show you why I shouldn't.

[Matt Rogers]

And they're just at the beach. It's not like this is some kind of.

[Sean O'Connor]

I think that's an eye infection.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, well, yeah. It's also because Beyonce has an incredible face.

[Sean O'Connor]

You could do anything.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, she could be.

[Sean O'Connor]

Why aren't people wearing more diarrhea drinks down their cheeks?

[Andrew Collins]

Exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, she can put a Doritos bag on her head.

[Sean O'Connor]

Be like, chic. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Do you.

[Andrew Collins]

He also did two albums with R. Kelly, and he's been friends with p. Diddy for 20. I mean, it's like.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's the thing is, like, you can't. Not at the very least.

[Andrew Collins]

Yeah. He must have seen something.

[Sean O'Connor]

Absolutely. My mom said, and what does Julie Glaser know? A lot. But she kept saying. I just keep getting shivers down my spine because I. Because my mom's been obsessed with this Diddy stuff, so she's been watching tons of video and she's. And she's like. And I haven't seen it, but she said there's a lot of footage of him at white parties where he. He's like, get the cameras off me. Like, really weird about cameras at white parties. Like, more than anyone.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, okay. I mean, like, yeah, he feels like the guiltiest man in America.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, he's guiltier than the United Healthcare shooter, Luigi Mangioni.

[Sean O'Connor]

But everyone's split. Like, Anya was like, this is the exact statement I would write if I were innocent. And I go. I have to say, literally everyone disagrees with you. Yeah, everyone. This is the most like, people. It seems the opposite vibe, but it's like, teach their own feeling.

[Andrew Collins]

I'm not. I think, though, he, like, took the Trump approach, where you attack, attack, attack, and it works.

[Sean O'Connor]

And Trump is, what, innocent? Like, that's what I'm saying.

[Matt Rogers]

But he get away with that.

[Sean O'Connor]

I'm saying get away with it. I'm not saying, like, what it reads to people who know.

[Andrew Collins]

I don't see that as he's innocent.

[Sean O'Connor]

But I do think the biggest liar of all time, it does work. Of all time.

[Bowen Yang]

It turns out the best way to handle anything is to attack and not apologize. Even though that makes you the biggest piece of shit in the entire world.

[Sean O'Connor]

I will say that every time I have ever been in a fight with someone, and I take full responsibility, and I literally go, whatever you did was in a response to the shitty thing I did. Like, I really, like, you don't have to be sorry about anything. I started this with all this shit. It has never once not worked to mend a relationship, to make you feel. You both feel better about it. And then that person who may or may not owe you never doesn't give you what you need back. It's not even. I'm doing it to manipulate them into giving me apology, but they never don't go, actually, you know what? I could have been better, too. It always leads to that. It's always good to just take full Responsibility when you can absolutely.

[Bowen Yang]

It softens the ground. You're at even footing and then all of a sudden all of that anger washes away and you could actually just be real with each other.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collins]

If you're the pedophile and just apologized.

[Sean O'Connor]

It would be fun.

[Matt Rogers]

This works for personal relationships.

[Bowen Yang]

Maybe if he gave her red penny.

[Sean O'Connor]

Now that I'm a father, I would never do that. I love. We love that when men become fathers, they would never rape.

[Matt Rogers]

That only works for personal.

[Andrew Collins]

That's the old me.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

As a son of a mother.

[Sean O'Connor]

It is true. Like once they become fathers of daughters, they like, I get it now.

[Matt Rogers]

You shouldn't rape people.

[Sean O'Connor]

And for some reason that gives, that does give it some gravitas that we. Even me as a person who knows, it's kind of goes, oh, yeah, they would never do that. But I wonder. I was just thinking, I think it was Whitney Cummings on her podcast was talking about the white parties, how that's like the worst color to wear at those freak offs. And that's how you would know if you already raped someone is if they were just staying. She's like, oh. That's how they keep track of like, oh, that person's been raped already.

[Andrew Collins]

I don't know. Come. Doesn't really know.

[Bowen Yang]

It's all you need an off white party.

[Andrew Collins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For cum.

[Bowen Yang]

You just need.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Collins]

No, but blood or feces or. Okay, that's bad. Okay, what am I doing?

[Bowen Yang]

No, you really want a tarp party. But that's like, that's saying too much. You're giving away the gate.

[Andrew Collins]

Also, it'd be very slippery with the baby oil. The baby oil, it become a slip and slide.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. You know what? I think the day giveaway is the freak off part.

[Sean O'Connor]

I love the idea of a white party where it's transitioning to a freak off and they're just waiting for one Gayle King to leave.

[Andrew Collins]

They're all looking at their watch, like.

[Bowen Yang]

About bedtime, 9:34, they start pushing her out of yawning.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oprah's gone.

[Bowen Yang]

So maybe they all pretend to go to the valet to drive around the corner.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes, yes. Because you know that the white party if like anyone that went to a white party doesn't mean they were involved in raping teenagers at all. No, but the freak offs for sure. Like if you were, you were either.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Sean O'Connor]

Watching or getting.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, Oprah was gone. Like Connie Chung left, Stedman stayed.

[Sean O'Connor]

Because Stedman stuck around. Let him have some fun. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, Oprah's with Gail.

[Andrew Collins]

That's why I say just do it all. Do all the pedophile stuff before the party, get it out of the way. Then you can just hang out with.

[Bowen Yang]

Gail and not have to make her leave.

[Andrew Collins]

You know, do it around, do it.

[Bowen Yang]

At 4pm plus then they could get home for homework. I feel terrible about this. I want to apologize.

[Andrew Collins]

Let's talk more about shooting a CEO now.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, let's get back to.

[Andrew Collins]

Yeah, let's get back.

[Bowen Yang]

Safer everyone could agree on.

[Matt Rogers]

Tonight you're going to be on Kimmel, the one that comes out.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, my God. Is it already happening? It's tomorrow.

[Matt Rogers]

What is this? It's an appearance.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, just an appearance for promoting something. The Golden Globes.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah, abc.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. Yeah. They. They are so nice to me over there. Like, Kimmel likes me. He's always reached out and said nice things and yeah, it'll be my third time in a year being on Amazing.

[Matt Rogers]

And he hosted the Oscars, I think. So maybe you'll get advice.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, I think I'm going to ask for advice. I think like, so how these like late night appearances work? Is that you? They. The producer. I have a call with them actually right after this to talk about what I'm going to talk about tomorrow. They usually have like been combing through my Instagram. They've been listening to podcasts, they do a bunch of research and then they have ideas of like, oh, I heard you talk about this thing. Maybe we talk about this. Jimmy asked you about this. You went to the last era store. You know, and then I also usually come with like a bunch of ideas, but generally I think just celebrities don't have any ideas and then the person just presents it. So. Because every time I talk to a producer, they're like, you have so. My God, you make my job so easy.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, of course. Like those late night shows like the Comedians Come Prepared.

[Sean O'Connor]

I don't know why they don't book comedians almost.

[Bowen Yang]

They want to get. They want to get bits in. They want it. They care about this. And then like if you watch like just any celebrity, I'm not going to name names, but like most of the time. So I just heard you. You just got back from Swedish Sweden.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

And then they just talk about being at a hotel.

[Sean O'Connor]

Daughter likes singing. Yeah. And then it's like cut to the video of it that no one cares.

[Andrew Collins]

Yeah, no, she just started and we're really proud of her.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes.

[Andrew Collins]

So cool.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, and she loves Wicked. Right? And you took her to see Wicked.

[Andrew Collins]

I mean, you heard about that? It's an interesting question.

[Matt Rogers]

It's an interesting question.

[Andrew Collins]

Not many people ask that.

[Sean O'Connor]

Well, I was. Okay, so can I pitch some ideas?

[Andrew Collins]

When people do, they always. That's a really good question. Don't you hate when people do that?

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, that's. I always say that's a really good question. That allows me some time to think by saying it's a really good question. It's a really good question. It's just allow it buying you time to figure out what the fuck it means. That question makes me uncomfortable and I need a second.

[Andrew Collins]

And you're like complimenting yourself through it somehow. I don't know.

[Sean O'Connor]

I have said it before because sometimes there are good questions. Yes. And it does make me feel good when I have it said. But I would say 50% of the time I say it to someone, it's buying me time.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. So I was thinking of. Well, I'm going to talk about, possibly talk about a show that Sean and I did together that I've mentioned on the show that was like the worst show of my life because Chris Rock also just had a headline where he walked out of a billionaires show that he had to do.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Apparently he made a joke about putting Mexicans on a plane or something and then he saw someone filming him and he didn't want a Tony Hinchcliffe moment. So he walked off stage because someone was filming him. And people are saying, oh, he walked off because he got caught saying a racist joke. And it's not that he was just doing a dumb joke. Joke. Yeah, that's.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a private event.

[Sean O'Connor]

But it was a private event for like Republicans.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Essentially he was like giving them what they want, which is what you do when you get hired by Republicans. You give them what they want before they bring in the.

[Matt Rogers]

And they. This person filming, wouldn't stop filming.

[Sean O'Connor]

And I guess someone was filming and he walked off stage like, fuck this, I'm not doing this. And walked through the crowd and just left. Which I wish I would have done except I would have walked into the ocean, just never come back.

[Bowen Yang]

It was right there.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. So yeah, Sean and I had this gig in Cops that was fucking terrible and one of the worst hours of my entire life. And. And so I might talk about that because I just think that people love to hear about comedians having a shit gig. And it's especially funny when it was literally a month ago and a lot.

[Matt Rogers]

Of people don't know about these types of gigs that comedians do get hired by corporations to do like. Like events for the staff.

[Sean O'Connor]

Dance monkey dance.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, exactly. And then you get hired by these billionaires just to make their party seem more cool.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes. And so I think I'm going to talk about that. And then there was a moment at ERAS where a girl was in front of me standing up, and I posted on my story, but she was, like, had her phone above her head, like, put her hands all the way up to get out of the. You know, to go above all the people doing it in front of her. And she was 5, 10, I think, already. And then her. With her arms up, it was like 6 foot 2. No, no, 6 foot 7. 7 foot 3.

[Matt Rogers]

With the arm span.

[Sean O'Connor]

With arm. What is that? Like, how much arm am I getting?

[Matt Rogers]

2 and a half feet.

[Sean O'Connor]

Two and a half feet above my head?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Oh, no, above your head. Maybe like two feet above your head. You have pretty long arms.

[Sean O'Connor]

Okay. So she was, you know, seven and a half feet tall in front of me. 40% of the show before Taylor even got on stage. And she didn't even know Gracie Abrams.

[Matt Rogers]

She could do it for a short amount of time. One song.

[Sean O'Connor]

This is what I said. I want to kind of go through, like, the etiquette of, like, going to a concert and. Because I think that could be, like, a fun clip to pass around of, like, here's. Because I just think based on what I've read from people going to Charlie XCX and people going to Sabrina Carpenter and all these, like, girly, like, people are just rude at concerts. They're singing too loud. They're not appreciating it. They're not thinking about other people around them. When you're. Okay, here's a big thing. When you're doing the moment where you're waving your phone light to do the kind of 70s thing where everyone used to take their lighters. You don't need to put it. I. This did not occur to me until way later, because I was going to ERA shows. And during Marjorie, the song about her grandma, everyone does that and it looks really cool. And you're really doing it for her. You're not even doing it for yourself. You're, like, doing it for Taylor so she can see, like, this amazing mass of, like, people with their lights up. You don't need to lift it. You could just put it right in front of your face and not ruin anyone's view. And the light is still being shown. It doesn't change that it's higher. For, like, you don't need to block anyone's View. Just put the light right next to your head and sway back and forth. And the same with capturing video. Like, I understand that sometimes I do need to get up because someone in front of me is up and. But only 30 seconds at a time. No more than that. Yeah, and then you go back down and you can't do it every fucking.

[Matt Rogers]

I agree with the. With the electronics, but I have the. I had the opposite experience where I was at the Billy Joel concert and Ally and I stood up and we were dancing.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's different.

[Matt Rogers]

And then someone threw stuff at us almost immediately.

[Andrew Collins]

Yeah, but how shitty were you dancing?

[Sean O'Connor]

More I've seen you dance, Brian, than you are. You're not raising your arms to capture a video that you're not gonna do any with. The video I'm watching them capture is shit. Their phone screen is smudged, so it's blurry. They're not even doing the thing where you tap it and then you lower the resolution or lower the. The brightness so that she pops on stage. It looks horrible. They don't have a YouTube account where they're feeding this to the masses. Like, this is just for them to watch alone in bed later and wake up their boyfriend because they don't have any decent.

[Matt Rogers]

Or to brag to their friends that they went to the concert, I guess.

[Sean O'Connor]

But, like, it's not even good footage. It's like I have a right to do it, which I don't do it. But if anyone has a right to be ruining other people's time, it's because I capture good footage that is literally being fed to a Taylor Swift fan account that I send her all my Dropbox videos so she can make videos of it and seminate it to hundreds of thousands of swifties who are enjoying it. So I'm actually making content for the masses. That looks good. I'm zooming in at the. I memorize where she walks on stage, so I'm not missing it. It's not herky jerky. I have it on the right 10k resolution speed with 60 SPS or whatever that Emily's taught me. I'm not blurring, shaking the camera, holding it, not even looking at it, and just holding it up so I can capture that I was there.

[Matt Rogers]

So you can send it to your sister and be like, look at me, bitch.

[Sean O'Connor]

She won't even watch it. Cause it's unwatchable. It doesn't even look good. So you're watching everyone's time.

[Matt Rogers]

It's not about the quality of video. It's about you going I'm better than you because I'm at this point.

[Sean O'Connor]

Take a selfie of yourself being there. That's all you need. We don't need foot. Everyone's look around you. Everyone's capturing this moment. Watch it. There's literally every single moment that she was on stage in eras. There's 14 different angles of it captured really well on YouTube and Instagram. But even if you want your specific show. Yeah, you know, like, I always tell people when there was going to shows, don't film everything. Like, you can find this show on YouTube shot better from a better angle than where you were. Like, just relax. And usually I'm the one shooting it. Like, I did take it as my job to make good content. And I couldn't do it because the fucking bitch in front of me was shooting. I was filming what she was filming.

[Andrew Collins]

Footage is just.

[Matt Rogers]

Maybe that bitch has her own Taylor Swift account that she's trying to build up.

[Sean O'Connor]

But I understand. But she shouldn't, because she was bad at videography. She was horrible. I was filming what she was filming to prove that it was worth getting. I became obsessed. I couldn't relax.

[Matt Rogers]

And there was someone else filming you filming her.

[Sean O'Connor]

I was hoping someone was witnessing it, because I would love.

[Andrew Collins]

Do you have this footage?

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes, I have. And then I had my mom take a video of me filming so I could show, because I knew people were going to be like, nikki, how can you complain about this girl? You're posting video of Taylor Swift. How did you get that? I'm like, here's how I got it. You hold it right in front of your face so that you're not blocking anything that's not already blocked.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Sean O'Connor]

And I would say to the short girlies who wrote to me and said, what am I supposed to do? You can absolutely do the thing where you raise your head, hands above your head. You are short, so you're entitled to more space that you're not getting from height. And also. But just don't do it for longer than I would give you a minute. But longer than 30 seconds for an already tall person is just really disrespectful. And also, dim your fucking phone screen because it's not fun to watch Taylor Swift with an arm. And then also a really bright screen in your face. Also, bright people just pay attention to bright screens. When you are, like, on a plane. It is really hard to watch a movie when there is a window open, when everyone else has their window shut and we're trying to watch you with your window open. Why? So you can read your book with natural light? I hope you get skin cancer from the fucking natural light coming. I really hate you. I think it's so people are just. It is. We're living in a world where people do not care about other people and like, don't even consider other people's experiences around them at all.

[Bowen Yang]

Sharing space like it is completely just disintegrated since 2020.

[Sean O'Connor]

Like what's going on? I mean, they're getting it right in Tokyo and Singapore. In north or South Korea. North Korea. They're really getting it right. They don't even have.

[Andrew Collins]

They don't even have windows.

[Matt Rogers]

Take a break.

[Sean O'Connor]

Okay, let's take a break and I'll come back and fix some more.

[Brian Frangie]

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[Nikki Glaser]

Amazon One Medical presents painful thoughts.

[Sean O'Connor]

I could catch anything sitting in this doctor's waiting room. Okay, just wiped his runny nose on my jacket and the guy next to me sitting in a pool of perspiration insists on sharing my armrest. Next time, make an appointment with an.

[Nikki Glaser]

Amazon One medical provider. There's no waiting and no sweaty guy.

[Sean O'Connor]

Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Unknown]

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[Matt Rogers]

Such a clutch off season pickup Dave.

[Nikki Glaser]

I know, right? I was Worried we'd bring back the same team?

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, no. I meant those Blackout motorized shades. MVP of the room.

[Nikki Glaser]

Blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds.

[Sean O'Connor]

Hard to install.

[Nikki Glaser]

No, it's easy. Even you could do it.

[Sean O'Connor]

Nice.

[Nikki Glaser]

I installed these and then got some for my mom, too.

[Matt Rogers]

You fly across the country to do the install?

[Nikki Glaser]

Nope. Blinds.com can do it all. All she had to do was pick what she wanted. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install.

[Bowen Yang]

Look at you.

[Matt Rogers]

Hall of fame, son.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh.

[Nikki Glaser]

I just picked the winning team. They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh.

[Bowen Yang]

Blinds.com is the goat.

[Matt Rogers]

The goat shop.

[Sean O'Connor]

Blinds.com right now and get up to 45% off select styles plus a professional measure and a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Save up to [e-mail]. blinds.com rules and restrictions may apply. Final thought. Has it really been since 2020 that this has gone to shit? Like, Anya wrote to me today. She was sitting and she said, there is a woman who is on speakerphone with someone on FaceTime talking so loudly at this diner. And there's. Everyone's dining quietly around us and in the table next to them are trying to get work done, and they can't. She was like, I can tell they're annoyed. I'm annoyed. And I go, say something. And she goes, I can't. And I knew exactly what that meant. She couldn't say something. And I go, just do it. But she goes, nikki, I can't. I'm going to look a certain way if I do. And I was like, oh, okay, that. That makes sense. Well, now you. Yes, we understand. And now why you can't.

[Bowen Yang]

No, but I feel like after 2020, when we were all locked down, like, for a while, like, being away from everyone for, like nine whole months, no one assimilated well when things opened up.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, it's a combination of that. And also, everyone was being told what they can and can't do, which just. It woke up something inside people.

[Sean O'Connor]

The mask thing.

[Matt Rogers]

The mask thing. You can't go outside. You can't go to a restaurant. And then for certain people, that makes them go insane.

[Bowen Yang]

It turns out I am such a sub. Like, where I'm like, I love when people tell me what I can and cannot do.

[Sean O'Connor]

I'm like, I can't imagine even. Like, I would never listen to anything on my phone at full volume. I hardly ever do it when there are friends around who aren't like, really being working on something. And they're just sitting there on their phones too. And it's something I even want them to hear. Kind of like I wouldn't even do it then. Kind of. I can't imagine, like the psychopathy of someone who would listen to something. And I know this has been fully discussed online. We all are perplexed at these people, but they are. There's so many people that listen to things on their phone and talk on speakerphone and talk on FaceTime and talk loudly on planes. What's going on? Yeah, I really think they should. Let's. Let's get Luigi on it. I really think these people. It's such an antisocial behavior that they. They need to. Like yesterday, Benedict police was on a plane and he tagged me on it because he. I started this thing of on the plane, someone talking loudly behind me. I just go and, like, act like I'm listening to them because it's crazy that it happens so often on planes where people just feel so important. They have to talk really loud because they. They're. And it's always kind of like a saucy subject where they're like. And I told her, I'm not putting up with this anymore. And I blocked his number. Like, it's always kind of like they think they're so interesting that you should want it over here. Which I've been guilty of before because my stuff is actually interesting. Like, I will say, I know what people are entertained by.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, sometimes you can do that for an Uber driver.

[Sean O'Connor]

Like, yes. I give them a little bit of a gift.

[Matt Rogers]

Let's have the juice.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. If I'm gonna talk anyway. But I'm not screaming in a way that is like, obnoxious. In a place where people. My Uber driver's not. Is not trying to sleep right now.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Where everyone else on this plane might.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't mind during boarding dirt. Like when you're waiting for the plane to take off. I don't mind when people are on their phones because that's like, fun little thing to listen to. But what, you can't do it on the plane?

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Sean O'Connor]

You never ever have your volume on your phone up.

[Matt Rogers]

No, no. I'm talking about someone talking into a phone.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Sean O'Connor]

Even that is rude.

[Bowen Yang]

The moment your.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's interesting to listen to his ticket gets blooped.

[Bowen Yang]

You are. You are now a part of a group. And that group has.

[Sean O'Connor]

And that group does not ask, is this home for you? No. No Asking people.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm no fun on a plane.

[Sean O'Connor]

I Am zero fun on a.

[Matt Rogers]

You're not a three.

[Sean O'Connor]

I'm a. I think he's a three for sure. I'm the same way. I'm a three.

[Andrew Collins]

What's a three?

[Matt Rogers]

Can I. Can I say. I had. I had instant karma happen to me at the gym, which is the exact same thing happened. So I go to the gym and I have my headphones into my phone. And a few days ago, I got a phone call while I was at the gym listening to music. And I answered it and I was like, hey, I'm at the gym. But, like, you can talk to me and I can talk, like, pretty quietly. And I looked around me. I had like an hour long phone call. I looked around me. Everyone else has headphones in.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

So I was like, no one can even hear what I'm saying. So I started. I started testing it. I was like, you know, I said like, ass, shit. And like, no one even looked at me. So I was like, oh, this is something I can do. So then the next. Like yesterday I did the same thing.

[Andrew Collins]

I think you're listening to Cardi B.

[Matt Rogers]

I was at the gym or the.

[Bowen Yang]

Person at Anya's Diner.

[Matt Rogers]

I got a. From the same person.

[Andrew Collins]

CEO.

[Matt Rogers]

And I was like, oh, yeah, I can just talk on the phone at the gym now. And I saw there was a couple of people who didn't have headphones in. And then I go. And I go do sit ups on the. You know when you hang on the sit ups and you're hanging upside down? Basically, yeah. And my phone fell out of my pocket and it broke my headphones. So I couldn't do the phone call anymore.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

Instant karma.

[Sean O'Connor]

Whoa.

[Matt Rogers]

And I was like, you know what? God, you're right.

[Sean O'Connor]

You're right. I shouldn't be doing that.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I made a mistake. Mistake. Now I have to buy new headphones.

[Sean O'Connor]

Guess what? Speakers on phones. And they can pick. Microphones on phones can pick up your normal voice. There's no. Almost never a reason to yell unless you are on the stock trading floor in 1994. Yeah, like, there's no re. There's no reason to ever scream on a phone ever. But people can't help themselves, and Americans are just notoriously very loud. And I realized that being in Canada, we were in Vancouver and we were at this, like, you know, Vietnamese restaurant that was all Vietnamese people. And then, like, me and my mom and then this table of Americans that were. This little woman was so loud, especially on vacation, and she wasn't saying sorry. So it was just like, yeah. Oh, what was that? Oh, I had an interaction that was really bad with someone where I. Oh, oh, oh. I can't tell it, I guess. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, go ahead.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, talk about that tall woman. Like, you kind of expect better from.

[Sean O'Connor]

Canada of, like, oh, and this girl, she had her boyfriend with her who was, like, all over her, but she was kind of like, ugh. So my mom and I determined, like, 100%. He got her the era store tickets, and she's gonna break up with him right after because he couldn't stop touching her. I am so disgusted by couples that need to constantly rub each other's fucking backs at a show to show you how much in love they are. I'm. Again, 30 seconds at a time is fine. Not the whole goddamn show. We get it. You're so in love. Just stay home and grope each other. You don't need to see that. I don't. And maybe I'm jealous, but I don't think I am. It's just too much PDA.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, I was, like, grossed out by PDA in my 20s. Like, I truly. I truly do not need to go to an Olivia Rodrigo concert and see somebody get fingered.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, I.

[Andrew Collins]

By yourself?

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, that is why I'm there.

[Sean O'Connor]

To do it, not to watch it.

[Matt Rogers]

Sometimes I hear someone. Like, I'll just be walking in a hotel or something, and someone laughs, and the laugh is so uproarious and loud, I get angry.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, yeah. There's nothing in the world or a sneeze that's loud.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, well, the sneeze. That's different. I think that the laugh. I'm like, there's nothing in the world that's as funny as you're laughing.

[Sean O'Connor]

No, that woman has a crush on someone nearby.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh.

[Sean O'Connor]

And that. Because women. Women do a thing. I mean, I know that I have done, like, when you are horny for someone, you'll laugh really loud and, like, throw your head back and, like, it's, like, orgasmic, kind of. And so it's a way of, like, signaling. Like, this is what it looks like when I'm coming. Like, and you put that out there.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow, that's interesting. So if I think about it that way, it makes it a little better.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collins]

And you get angry when women come, and I do.

[Sean O'Connor]

Why must women come?

[Bowen Yang]

And some people also have very annoying laughs. I. I am one of these people.

[Sean O'Connor]

But it's not loud, and it's not.

[Bowen Yang]

And I've ru. I've ruined many a New York comics, like, album Recording.

[Sean O'Connor]

No, your laugh is great. I would.

[Matt Rogers]

Is it your current laugh or just you change it?

[Bowen Yang]

I know it's still there. I came out last night and I heard myself doing it. Sounds like I can't. I can't do it.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, you can't do it artificially?

[Bowen Yang]

No, it's not artificial, but it sounds fake.

[Sean O'Connor]

No, your laugh is great. I totally disagree. I. But I want to say one more thing. So. Remember when I went to the concert in Indy with my mom and there was a woman that, like, snuck into our section and she kind of smelled bad and she was just, like, taking up too much space, and then I got her kicked out?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

And I told her to move, and then she moved in front of us, and I was like, had. I forget what the interaction was, but she took a picture of me. Do you remember that girl?

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

And then I go, bitch, I took a picture of you. Don't even. Don't even try to post that. Like, I got you too. Like, we're both on. I am. We're at Vancouver eras. And I go, mom, look who it is. And she fucking snuck in our row again. The same gutter punk bitch, same woman with her little twitchy, like, squirrel with, like, rabies behavior. And she's by herself, and she goes, whoa. Makes me so sick. And I. She snuck in again, and then she didn't fit in our row, so she moved to the one in front of us. And she's just the whole. She's not even paying attention to the show. She's just on her phone, just trying to get footage. And, like, her energy makes me sick. I know I'm being so mean because she's probably just like, a struggling person, but I don't think she just was the. And I was so wanting to sic a security guard on her, but I was like, no, be a better person. Just let her enjoy her night. This girl literally probably doesn't have much living to live for. She's a alone. She has a shirt where she's put all the confetti she's collected at Taylor Swift shows and stapled it on her shirt. So it's just like dirty confetti all over this shirt. But I took another picture of her, and she saw me too. And I just goes like, mom, there she is. And my mom goes, no. And I go, from Indianapolis, she goes, no, remind me. And I pulled up the other picture. I go, that's her.

[Matt Rogers]

How could she be such a wreck? But then also have the money to buy these tickets.

[Andrew Collins]

She's like your human or something.

[Sean O'Connor]

She. She was the. She's my mortal enemy. I just. I can't stand the show.

[Bowen Yang]

Is she like fish? Like fish fanning Taylor Swift.

[Sean O'Connor]

I mean, I'm the same thing, you know, like, we're doing the same thing. But she. But she's a. I would never, ever have a seat in a section that I didn't like and then try to weasel my way to the front by finding, like, she was a weasel. She. And she was by herself and she was trying to blend in. Like, these people are just disgusting. Like, stay in your seat. I understand. Like, I just. I was really just. I don't know why she. Because I guess even when I have shows and there's a couple seats in the front row that I see empty, I'm like, someone should come over here and get them. So I. I'm a hypocrite. But she really bothered me.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Not her, though.

[Sean O'Connor]

If she would have just done what she did at Eras Vancouver, I would have, like, liked her and been like, oh, her shirt's cute and fun. But because of my indie interaction and then seeing her again and be like, you made it here too. I would.

[Matt Rogers]

You're beginning to understand how racists feel.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's interesting. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Don't understand why I don't want this person near me.

[Andrew Collins]

Could you smell her again?

[Sean O'Connor]

No. No. And I didn't smell her the first time. My mom said she was really bad, but man, I just feed so funny. It's not fair when you just don't like the way someone moves. You're just like, this isn't fair.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, that's not for like a boyfriend or something. You're just like, everything you do.

[Sean O'Connor]

And it's all based on, like, something from my. She reminded me of someone. I can't.

[Andrew Collins]

I try to give people the benefit of doubt. Like, oh, they don't do this that often. Like, someone on a plane will get up right away or they'll do something. They'll grab your chair when they stand up.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, God.

[Andrew Collins]

Which I lo my mind over.

[Sean O'Connor]

But then I'm like, oh, maybe they.

[Andrew Collins]

Just don't fly a lot. And I try to be empathetic, but it's like, how do you not know? Like, how are you just not a human being?

[Sean O'Connor]

I just don't understand how the golden rule didn't get like. I remember learning about the golden rule and being like, oh, my God, that's such a great way to move through life. Just picture only do things that you would want. Like, think It's a. It's almost a selfish way to look at things. Like, should. Would I want to be next to someone who's loudly listening on their phone? No. So I'm not going to do that. Like, it's not even, like, being nice to others. It's actually like I'm putting out there what I want. Why didn't people absorb it? Because I literally. What I was going to do to the woman if I did approach her about her holding her phone. Because my Internet. My poll on Instagram, which I don't think most. 92% of people said that they would have said something to her. I go, do I say something or I do not say something?

[Andrew Collins]

You didn't say anything.

[Sean O'Connor]

I didn't say anything because she stopped doing it because your arm hurts from doing that that long. And she kind of lost. And I kind of knew she would probably tire out by the time Taylor got, like, halfway through. So it stopped. So I didn't need to say. Say anything, but I would have said something. What I was gonna say is just show her the picture of herself and say, would you like this in front of you the entire show? That's what I was gonna. That was my plan of being like, hey, do you mind? Maybe at first I was gonna say, hey, do you mind, like, recording just a little bit lower. And then if she gave me attitude, I go, would you like this in front of you? Because I could stand in front of you and do it. If you. If you think that's an acceptable wait. I was gonna then start some. Yeah, because that's the truth. It's like, would you want this? Then don't do it.

[Matt Rogers]

I think it might be because that there's. Now we're blending our online personality, which is becoming half of our life, with our in public personality. And it's becoming. We're getting less practice at interacting with people in the real world.

[Sean O'Connor]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

Everything is online. I mean, everything that's important is online.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Everything that you do, even when you do stuff live, all that matters is what happens the next day on the Internet.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, I said the most awkward thing yesterday to the barista that I'm friends with at the Starbucks down the street. Like, we're buddies. Like, I see him twice a day every day. And I go, hey, David, good to see you again. I go, how's it going? He's like, it's crazy out there. Like, he must have had, like a day or something. He's just. But it sounded like he was talking about the world. He's like, you know what's wild? I go, I know Jay z raped a 13 year old. And I said it loud, like not loudly enough for anyone to like be disturbed. But you could just tell that was like not what he was referring. He went home. I thought he was kind of like, God, the news cycle. And he was like, it was just so. It was. And thank God he's like a nice guy who like knows my sense of humor because he knew who I was. But like it just didn't land right. And I was obsessed with that at that moment. So like of course to me it was just like a colloquial thing to say.

[Bowen Yang]

God, that is so funny.

[Andrew Collins]

What did he say back? They just gave you a look.

[Sean O'Connor]

He just goes, yeah, our heroes just disappoint us so much. He's like, he has ended it. He was so. He's David at Starbucks at on Sunset West. Sunset is Alta Loma, I think. And Sunset is a, is a real one.

[Matt Rogers]

That's it for us.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back tomorrow with more show with the same group. I can't wait. And we're recording it tomorrow so you're not getting a doubled up one. And watch me on Kimball tonight And don't be kissed. Bye. The Nikki Glaser Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart podcasts created and hosted by Nikki Glaser, co hosted by Brian Frangie, executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Soni and Noah Avior, edited and engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki glaser podcast on YouTube, follow ickyglaserpod and subscribe to our channel.

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