#496 Nikki Glaser NYT Comedian of the Year, Hollywood Events & Expectations

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Episode #496

Title: Nikki Glaser NYT Comedian of the Year, Hollywood Events & Expectations
Release Date: December 13, 2024
Hosts: Nikki Glaser, Brian Frangie, Sean O'Connor, Andrew Collin, Bowen Yang
Produced by: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts

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1. Introduction

In Episode #496 of The Nikki Glaser Podcast, Nikki Glaser and her co-hosts delve into a variety of engaging topics ranging from environmental issues and Hollywood event experiences to personal achievements and interactions with celebrities. This episode offers listeners a blend of humor, honest reflections, and insightful discussions, capturing the essence of Nikki’s fast-paced and brutally honest style.

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2. Key Discussions and Topics

a. Environmental Concerns: Woolly Mammoths and Fossil Fuels

The conversation kicks off with a humorous yet thought-provoking debate about the feasibility of bringing back woolly mammoths as a means to combat biodiversity loss and climate change. The hosts discuss the unrealistic nature of such endeavors compared to addressing the root causes of environmental degradation, particularly the fossil fuel industry.

• Andrew Collin: Expresses skepticism about the practicality of resurrecting ancient species to save the planet.
• Bowen Yang: Highlights the flawed strategy of shifting environmental responsibility solely onto consumers, criticizing companies like Exxon for evading substantial change since the 1970s.

Notable Quote:

Bowen Yang (06:08): "They put it all on the consumer and that's where like carbon footprint comes from."

b. Solar Energy and Alternative Fuels

The hosts explore the potential of solar energy as a sustainable alternative to fossil fuels. They discuss innovative projects such as massive solar farms with mirror arrays that concentrate sunlight to generate power, likening them to cinematic spectacles like "The Eye of Sauron."

• Sean O'Connor (08:21): Shares insights from an engineer about the architectural design of solar farms.
• Bowen Yang (08:02): Envisions solar energy as the future, emphasizing its scalability and effectiveness.

Notable Quote:

Sean O'Connor (08:21): "It'll just feel like this clip that was circulating."

c. Hosting the Golden Globes

A significant portion of the episode centers on Andrew Collin’s experience hosting the Golden Globes. He recounts the challenges of preparing opening remarks, the pressure of performing solo, and interactions with high-profile celebrities.

• Andrew Collin (16:06): Describes the hectic preparation process and the support from fellow hosts.
• Sean O'Connor (43:03): Encourages Andrew by referencing similar experiences by other hosts like John Mulaney.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Collin (16:17): "And before I even pull it up, I take a deep breath because you can't have one typo."

d. Promotional Shoots and Writing Comedy

The hosts discuss the behind-the-scenes efforts of creating promotional content for the podcast and upcoming events. They highlight the creative process, mishaps, and the importance of genuine humor over forced jokes.

• Andrew Collin (10:24): Shares the trial-and-error nature of writing effective promotional jokes.
• Bowen Yang (10:26): Emphasizes the need for well-structured setups in comedy.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Collin (10:26): "I need to set up the fact that people are drinking."

e. Interacting with Celebrities

Andrew Collin narrates his interactions with celebrities such as Julia Fox, Jennifer Lawrence, and Kathy Bates during Hollywood events. These anecdotes reveal the blend of admiration and nervousness experienced when mingling with A-list personalities.

• Andrew Collin (49:05): Recounts meeting Julia Fox and their conversation about appearance and personal choices.
• Sean O'Connor (51:17): Reflects on the lasting impact of these interactions on reputation and relationships within Hollywood.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Collin (49:05): "I love her. She's very inspiring to someone who's just, like, being them."

f. Personal Achievements: NYT Comedian of the Year

Nikki Glaser announces her recognition as the New York Times Comedian of the Year, prompting a reflective discussion on the weight of being the first to receive this honor and the pressure it brings to maintain such a title in future years.

• Andrew Collin (56:47): Expresses mixed feelings about the accolade, highlighting both pride and the anxiety of future expectations.
• Bowen Yang (58:05): Relates the concept to personal milestones and the struggle to enjoy achievements due to looming future pressures.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Collin (56:47): "I can't be next year. It can't be me again. Because it can't be me again. And what's the point of keeping trying?"

g. Personal Anecdotes and Health Discussions

The episode also touches on personal topics such as Sean O'Connor’s experiences with hypnotherapy and dealing with stress, providing a candid look at the hosts’ vulnerabilities and coping mechanisms.

• Sean O'Connor (63:27): Discusses his challenges with hypnotherapy and the skepticism toward unconventional treatments.
• Andrew Collin (64:28): Shares his discomfort during hypnosis sessions, adding a relatable angle to mental health discussions.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Collin (64:28): "She was so wacky, because I went in being like, I want this to work so bad, but I just couldn't let go."

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3. Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Bowen Yang (06:08): "They put it all on the consumer and that's where like carbon footprint comes from."
2. Sean O'Connor (08:21): "It'll just feel like this clip that was circulating."
3. Andrew Collin (10:26): "I need to set up the fact that people are drinking."
4. Andrew Collin (16:17): "And before I even pull it up, I take a deep breath because you can't have one typo."
5. Andrew Collin (49:05): "I love her. She's very inspiring to someone who's just, like, being them."
6. Andrew Collin (56:47): "I can't be next year. It can't be me again. Because it can't be me again. And what's the point of keeping trying?"
7. Andrew Collin (64:28): "She was so wacky, because I went in being like, I want this to work so bad, but I just couldn't let go."

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4. Insights and Conclusions

Episode #496 offers a multifaceted exploration of Nikki Glaser and her co-hosts' lives, blending humor with genuine discourse on pressing issues. The discussion underscores the complexity of balancing personal achievements with the inevitable pressure of maintaining status, the importance of sustainable environmental practices over superficial solutions, and the intricate dynamics of Hollywood networking. The candid sharing of personal struggles, such as dealing with anxiety and seeking unconventional therapies, adds depth to the hosts' personas, making the conversation relatable and engaging for listeners.

Nikki Glaser’s recognition as the New York Times Comedian of the Year serves as a focal point, prompting reflections on legacy and the transient nature of accolades. The hosts collectively emphasize the value of authentic connections and the ongoing journey of personal and professional growth, resonating with the podcast’s overarching theme of brutal honesty and introspection.

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5. Conclusion

Episode #496 of The Nikki Glaser Podcast is a noteworthy installment that encapsulates the essence of Nikki Glaser’s approach to comedy and conversation. Through a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions, the hosts provide listeners with an engaging experience that is both entertaining and thought-provoking. Whether debating environmental strategies or navigating the high-stakes world of Hollywood events, the episode stands out as a testament to the podcast’s commitment to offering a brutally honest look into current pop culture and personal lives.

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Disclaimer: This summary is based on the provided transcript and aims to capture the core elements of the podcast episode. For the full experience and additional nuances, listening to the actual episode is recommended.

Transcript

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Brian Frangie]

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[Sean O'Connor]

Card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[Nikki Glaser]

ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Andrew Collin]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his.

[Nikki Glaser]

Daughter moves back in.

[Sean O'Connor]

The last time you walked out that.

[Nikki Glaser]

Door, you look back at me and gave me a double bird.

[Andrew Collin]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Nikki Glaser]

The wheels come off.

[Andrew Collin]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults?

[Nikki Glaser]

If you watch the news lately, that's.

[Sean O'Connor]

Not a thing anymore.

[Nikki Glaser]

New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Andrew Collin]

This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Save the date for your cordially invited.

[Bowen Yang]

A hilarious new wedding comedy starring Will.

[Sean O'Connor]

Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon.

[Andrew Collin]

Chaos ensues when two weddings are accidentally booked on the same weekend at the same venue. Uh oh.

[Sean O'Connor]

Will Ferrell plays the father of the.

[Bowen Yang]

Bride and Reese Witherspoon is the sister of the other bride. And they go head to head to.

[Sean O'Connor]

Make sure the ones they love get.

[Andrew Collin]

Their special day together on screen. For the first time ever, it's Ferrell versus Witherspoon. Chaos comedy and alligator wrestling await you.

[Bowen Yang]

In invited watch January 30th on Prime Video.

[Andrew Collin]

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[Sean O'Connor]

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[Andrew Collin]

Of your small business. Get Internet, mobile phone and TV services to connect all aspects of your business and see your business made limitless. Learn [e-mail] Business Where'd you get those shoes? Easy. They're from DSW. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com the Nikki Glaser podcast. Nikki Glaser Podcast. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. I am in. In Los Angeles once again. Gonna be here for a little bit because I'm hosting the Golden Globes January 5th. Check it out on CBS Live, and it'll be streaming on Paramount plus after that. But you better watch it live. I'm coming in hot.

[Sean O'Connor]

Well practiced.

[Andrew Collin]

I know. It really did. I did a promo shoot day. I will say, oh, wait, by the way, Brian Frangie's here, Sean O'Connor's here, and Andrew Collin is here. We did a promo shoot day.

[Bowen Yang]

Booyah.

[Andrew Collin]

We did a promo shoot early November, I want to say. Was that. I don't even know, but it's, like, so weird because those days, you just like. We wrote, like, Brian, me and Sean wrote, like. And JP Wrote a bunch of jokes for it. And then it, like. Then you get there. Sean, you were, like, somewhere, so you couldn't be on set.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, I was in Utah.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

You were cliffhanging.

[Sean O'Connor]

I was cliffhanging in Utah with Ally and her parents, which is really fun.

[Andrew Collin]

Wait, you literally cliffhanger?

[Sean O'Connor]

No, no, no. I scramble, but I don't cliffhang. I think it's crazy to.

[Andrew Collin]

Scrambled is the funniest thing to picture someone doing. It's just like. Like, it doesn't. It doesn't look like you're falling. It just means, like, you're just skittish and you're running from something. Have you ever seen that lizard being chased? Or a lizard chasing a. No lizard is being chased by a Komodo dragon. Have you ever seen that?

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, no.

[Andrew Collin]

It's like an epic saga that someone captured, like, a David Attenborough. But it's like a lizard running from, like, I think a Komodo dragon.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's.

[Andrew Collin]

So you're, like, rooting for the lizard, and then you're rooting for the dragon, and then it's like. It's one of the best chase scenes.

[Sean O'Connor]

And then they get on a cliff. Right. Isn't there a moment where they get on a cliff, they both fall off?

[Andrew Collin]

Possibly. But it looks. It's cinematic. It's shot cinematically, and it's just like this clip that was circulating. Well, anyway, they were scrambling everywhere. I'm glad both those guys are dead and all of their families, and we'll never know anything about them. Even though I just did Listen to a podcast, or at least five minutes of it with Sam Harris talking to a guy who's trying to bring back the woolly mammoth because he wants biodiversity and it could like save the world. To bring back the woolly mammoth. Until everyone starts shooting at all the trumps.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. To try to get the tusks. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

You gotta put it in your little.

[Sean O'Connor]

I'm interested in learning why that would save the planet.

[Andrew Collin]

But I. I wish I could tell you, but I fell asleep to Sam Harris's dulce tones.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, his dulcet tones.

[Brian Frangie]

Woolly mammoths are like really good at math.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

They'll literally save the planet by coming up with the equation.

[Sean O'Connor]

I know the quadratic equation by.

[Bowen Yang]

I love that there is. The easiest way to save the. Is to abolish the fossil fuel industry. And we're like, no, let's bring back the woolly mattress and see if that works.

[Andrew Collin]

It just. We can't get. We can't.

[Bowen Yang]

They are fast.

[Brian Frangie]

You can ride them around.

[Andrew Collin]

Who needs my dad still? I still get triggered because my dad, every single time I would leave a light on in the house, he was like, there is a big plant somewhere with a smoke sack billowing out smoke. And part of that smoke is. Cause you left on this light. Like a bird is choking on smoke right now. The smoke, your light that you left on because you didn't even need it while we're out to dinner. It's just in your bedro. Because those smokestacks, like when you're a kid, at least when I was just was so sensitive to like, why are we ruining this beautiful planet? Like, smokestacks are just. Are so ominous looking.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. I mean, it's like instinctually, you know this is a bad thing when you're a little kid.

[Brian Frangie]

Yes, I do love you turning your light off though. And the plant's like, ah, fuck, gotta shut down. Like you did it tonight.

[Andrew Collin]

Like, it's true. Like we all like think, well, it's not true because we. I mean, I don't know, I've.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's no. Putting it on the individual consumer is a failure.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a move from Exxon. Exxon created in 1976.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. Will you tell us about that? That's like eye opening.

[Bowen Yang]

So basically, yeah. They've known about how like the industrial revolution is the whole cause of the destruction of this planet since the 70s at least. But in the 70s they put it all on the consumer and that's where like carbon footprint comes from. And like recycling is all to put it on you, so they don't have to change a single thing.

[Andrew Collin]

Right. And it gives you a false sense.

[Bowen Yang]

Of control that you're doing something good for the planet. And then that's why, like, any celebrity, if you look on their Instagram, like, anytime they go political, it's like, but you fly a private jet and it's like, yeah, honestly, they could stop that for the rest of their lives. And if fossil fuel ended tomorrow, we're fine.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. God, we did an Adam. Ruins everything on that. On that same thing. Like the commercialization of your individual responsibility for saving this planet and the Earth day and recycling in general, which is a scam.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, everything from the 80s and 90s that were about rah, rah, rah, no littering and all that stuff, save the whales, all to just make us feel like we can have some control over it.

[Andrew Collin]

What would happen if they stopped doing the fossil fuel industry stopped? How would it affect our lives?

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, immediately. It would be bad for us. I think. We have to. We have to ease out of it.

[Andrew Collin]

But, like, right, like, but what if they stop?

[Sean O'Connor]

If they turned off the fossil fuel industry today, we wouldn't be able to drive or turn on lights or.

[Bowen Yang]

We need, like. We need, like, you know, like, to just start finding alternative fuel sources.

[Andrew Collin]

But that's. But that's why, like, Trump is constantly making fun of windmills because it's a threat to fossil fuel industry. So we're trying to fight, we're trying to find alternative sources, but they're just bullying them and, like, making fun of them and saying they're gay.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, exactly.

[Andrew Collin]

Because a windmill sounds gay as hell. Like, it's like.

[Sean O'Connor]

And then, honestly, we're not Dutch.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what that means?

[Andrew Collin]

We're not playing putt Putt. Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

I saw Twisters recently, and, man, the windmills really took a beating in that movie.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

I was like, you know what? Movies aren't good.

[Andrew Collin]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Solar energy, I think, is kind of probably the future. Like, there's, like, that solar farm as you're driving to Vegas that's, like, so big. That could, like, power Vegas for a month every day. Like, it generates enough.

[Sean O'Connor]

I talked to the person who was an engineer on that very solar farm, and I asked the question if. If you ever drove from LA to Vegas, you're gonna drive in through the desert and you're gonna see two towers that are glowing like the eye of Sauron in the distance, and you're like, what the fuck is that? And then around it are all these things that look like Solar panels. And what I learned is that the fuel source is not what's on the ground. Those are not solar panels.

[Bowen Yang]

They're not the solar farm. Those aren't solar panels.

[Sean O'Connor]

What are they? They're mirrors. And the fuel source is the Eye of Sauron. The sun is going down onto the mirrors, and the mirrors are all reflecting up to the eye, and that's where the power is.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, that's really cool.

[Bowen Yang]

That's awesome.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, my God. Is right. Wow. That just, like, drained you of all your power. You just look deflated after that. You're not gonna be scrambling anytime soon after that sentence.

[Sean O'Connor]

But let's get back to what you were talking about.

[Andrew Collin]

I don't even.

[Sean O'Connor]

No one gives a shit about what was.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, the promos. Oh, some of them are so funny. They're like. Some of them are just like, misses. But some of them I was watching yesterday are really funny, and I'm excited because they're, like, really weird. Like the Jeff Bridges one. Oh, yeah. There was some that I was, like, really proud of, and then others I said, you have to kill that. That makes no sense. There was one where I'm like. Like, they wanted to have us do something about how, like, the Golden Globes are, like, a party night, and, like, it's off the rails and people are drinking. But like, this. This is a lesson in comedy. Everyone listening, like, so that's the premise, right? Like, we want a joke that talks about how everyone's partying. And it's like. I think the line was like, it'll be a night. It'll be a night you remember forever. Except any of the celebrities in the audience. Cause they're gonna be blackout. Because they'll be blackout. So but that doesn't work because I have to establish that people are drinking first. Like, just coming out hot to an audience at CBS who are watching, like, Matlock. And then all of a sudden, I'm like. And everyone's gonna be blackout. They're gonna be like, what is. I mean, I guess it'll get eyes on it, but it doesn't make any sense contextually.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, it's a joke in reverse.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. Like, I need to set up the fact that people are drinking. And so I'm. And the problem is I'm like, writing in, like, this needs a setup. And they're like, yeah, why didn't you write it? That's not on us, bitch. I'm like, yeah, that's a good point.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, that same time you took writing. This needs a set up.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, well, I can't shoot it. Like, it's not. There's nowhere in the edited footage that it's like, exists.

[Bowen Yang]

So there should be at least three pickup days for all promo shoots.

[Andrew Collin]

So we can figure out are just a humiliating thing. Like, I think when they first started coming in, I was like, these are embarrassing. And then you guys all reminded me like, no one's ever looked cool in a promo ever.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, Ever.

[Andrew Collin]

They're so. They're awful.

[Bowen Yang]

There's a reason why they stopped doing promos for, like, that stretch where, like, they would do the lower third walk.

[Andrew Collin]

On and go, hey. And point to the, like Thursday night at night.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, this is just as embarrassing as having you talk to camera.

[Andrew Collin]

Like young Sheldon Post leaning up against the CBS logo. Oh, my God, you're so right.

[Sean O'Connor]

But I've been enjoying watching cbs. Football games are on cbs and then you pop up probably like two or three times a day on when you're watching football. And I haven't seen any of the quote unquote funny promos yet. It's always just like, Nikki Glazer hosts the Golden Globes on January 5th. Then it's just, you, like, going, all.

[Andrew Collin]

Right, well, I'll take that over something confusing.

[Bowen Yang]

I guess I just want the Nicole Kidman one to air because I feel like that one is going to go down in history.

[Brian Frangie]

What is that one?

[Andrew Collin]

I wonder if they'll even air it. And if someone is. If someone sees it, will you please record it and send it to us? Because that's the thing. Like, no one. I've said this before. When you have stuff that airs, like, no one in your life records it or tells you about it because they, like, they know it's airing. And I'm like, no, I don't. I don't know. When I'm on tv, record it for me. Send it to me on Instagram.

[Bowen Yang]

Please tell us. Because if they don't air that, we can use that in the show.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. Okay. So if you see the Nicole Kidman comment about her at the Golden Globes.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes.

[Andrew Collin]

We're not going to give it away.

[Sean O'Connor]

We can say that it's a seating one, right? Is that what it was?

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's about, like, me talking about the seating arrangement at the show. I don't even think it made the cut.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, man.

[Andrew Collin]

Do you remember did it just.

[Bowen Yang]

It was in the cut. It was like that we saw like.

[Andrew Collin]

After Black Friday, like, you know, but I think I talked about before. There was one joke in there that would have made me Lose the show.

[Bowen Yang]

If it aired because we were so hard. It is so. It's like the most aggressive gym.

[Andrew Collin]

Wait, can I just whisper to Andrew? Okay. It was like. Like, oh, it was me. It was about me, like, roasting. Am I gonna roast or am I gonna toast? Like, no, I shouldn't roast people. I'm gonna toast. And it's like, here's to blah, blah, blah. And then I would. I would roast, you know, with. But it sounds like I'm being nice. But it was like, I can't wait to see what Jennifer, you ruined. Oh, yeah, it's too harsh. There's the. There's a word in there that. But that would be maybe good also to, like. There's a lot of jokes we wrote for that that were like.

[Sean O'Connor]

I like that one.

[Bowen Yang]

That joke. Very funny. And I feel like that would work in the show, but, you know, like a promo that's airing during, like, FBI Los Angeles.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. Well, not even. But I think the problem is, is that it says it. People would misconstrue it. And I know this is annoying to the listener who's like, well, we don't know what you're talking about. It implies it has, like. Like a man who's dated famous women, and then it's talking about how he's kind of been not great to these women. That's like, the gist of the joke is it's talking about that, and it sounds a little bit like I'm throwing the women under the bus, but if you're not listening closely, I'm absolutely not.

[Sean O'Connor]

It also empowers. It empowers the man to have the ability to defile something. And the woman should have control over whether or not she's been defiled.

[Andrew Collin]

Right. But it's just a joke.

[Brian Frangie]

It's a great joke.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's just a joke. It's a hilarious joke. Well, no. Well, you know what? Sorry. Go ahead, Andy.

[Brian Frangie]

No, no, don't worry.

[Sean O'Connor]

You know what you should do, by the way?

[Andrew Collin]

Third time's a charm.

[Brian Frangie]

Thanks.

[Sean O'Connor]

Go ahead, Andrew. You know what you should do, though? You should try it.

[Brian Frangie]

I don't know that they were solar panels.

[Andrew Collin]

I don't.

[Sean O'Connor]

You should try it on stage and see what happens.

[Andrew Collin]

Right.

[Sean O'Connor]

Because we don't know if you do well on stage. We don't know. What if it bombs?

[Andrew Collin]

Well, none of those three people are going to be in the audience.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, then that's. Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

Who cares then? Who cares?

[Sean O'Connor]

I think still just try it on stage once and let's see.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

I do like that hat a lot. It's a great. It's a great height. I want to get a Colts hat that's like that.

[Andrew Collin]

Maybe you could do it on Kimmel. Like, maybe talk about, like, that might be a place for sure. Because if I'm commenting on the fact that it's a crazy joke and then I tell the joke, it's like, I'm so glad I got this pulled from, you know, or something like that.

[Sean O'Connor]

It could be an interesting thing because the people listening to this will have seen Kimmel last night, and so they know. Possibly.

[Andrew Collin]

But I doubt I will. I don't know. We'll see.

[Bowen Yang]

I say save it for Stern.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the best one.

[Bowen Yang]

He'll love it.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. I'm doing Howard Stern the day after the Golden Globes the morning after. So I will not have slept the.

[Brian Frangie]

Night before or do it on here the day after.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, yeah, I could do that, too. I'm also doing this podcast the day after as well. Those are my own. Only two things that I'm doing.

[Brian Frangie]

It reminds me of. There was a joke about James Cameron a few years back that is the same vein. And everyone loved. Everyone was like, I mean, it was a shocker.

[Sean O'Connor]

What award show was it? Do you remember? It wasn't the award show.

[Brian Frangie]

The woman got away from him, like, was in a relationship for, like, three years, and.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. How annoying it was.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, yeah, I recall this now. Now you say that.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, it's a similar vein. And that joke was great. I don't know. It got it. It did get a. But I don't know if that's such a bad thing.

[Bowen Yang]

I feel like with James Cameron, that was on the show. It wasn't a promo. She was there and he was there.

[Brian Frangie]

I don't. I don't know if he was there.

[Andrew Collin]

I haven't been following the controversy surrounding Zero Dark Thirty, but when it comes to torture, I trust the woman who spent three years married to James Cameron.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, sure.

[Andrew Collin]

That's good.

[Bowen Yang]

Great joke.

[Andrew Collin]

Great joke.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

That was Tina.

[Bowen Yang]

I wrote it, actually.

[Andrew Collin]

Tina and Amy.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. But, like, James Cameron isn't, like, you know, like, isn't struggling with, like, mental health and addiction.

[Andrew Collin]

Like. Yeah, that's the thing is, like, the punchline of our joke is a guy who's very publicly.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, like.

[Andrew Collin]

But James Cameron is probably just a psychopath. You know, like, he's probably just has some kind of personality disorder that we could have sympathy for.

[Bowen Yang]

He spent six months of the year underwater. Like, he's like, Trying to find new.

[Andrew Collin]

Octopi, like, you know, what people that are like. I was watching a clip on Kimmel last night. It was. Jeremy Strong was on last night talking about, you know, how he takes things seriously. But he was, you know, Kimmel set him up to tell, like, a story. And then he just started talking about, you know, someone who did. The granddaughter of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, who were executed unfairly, did a documentary about Roy Cohn, who he plays. And Roy Cohn was the guy who sent his grandparents, her grandparents, to the electric chair. And she did a really empathetic documentary about them, even though they obviously killed her grandparents. But she was able to see him as a complex character and hold him to test, but also have empathy. And he said. And it made me realize, you know, what I do, I take very seriously, because the people. There are people on the other end of it watching it in theaters and watching it at home, and I take them very seriously. And I've been accused of taking things very seriously, but I do take them seriously. And he just stuck it like, I'm sorry. This is just who I am. And I just love it. I can't even make fun of it. I love it so much. And so I commented, I take Jeremy Strong taking things seriously, very seriously. Because I do. And now I'm like, I'm on board. And the still image that they used, you know, like, when you see a reel and it's, like, locked on an image, it's of him kind of smirking, and you watch the whole clip. And it was a millisecond that they found of his lip going up to look like he was having a good time or, like, you know, they found the only. Like, it was, like, a flash. You know how people have, like, flashes of, like, emotions. They found the millisecond. It was really funny.

[Bowen Yang]

I think people love making fun of him because they themselves wish they could take what they do seriously.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And seeing somebody work really hard on something that you find frivolous is like, you're like, have some shame.

[Andrew Collin]

Yes.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's how I feel when someone does a puzzle.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

What are you doing?

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, puzzles confound me.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. I'm not a puzzle person.

[Andrew Collin]

It seems like a real. Like, I'm like, was that earning you anything in this world? And puzzles don't, to me, mean. And I'm a three. So they don't, like, prove you're intelligent.

[Sean O'Connor]

What if you glued it together and framed it and then put it up on the wall?

[Andrew Collin]

Then I'm guessing Covid had Just happened again or something. Like, what? Why would I ever do it? But, like, sometimes I'm with people that want to do puzzles and it's. It's. It. It. I have anxiety over it because it's so boring.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. I don't like self satisfaction. I like external validation. So, like, a puzzle, like, if you did a puzzle and, like, waiting for somebody say, great job, you did it right. Like, that's not gonna happen. It's not gonna feel right. Like, I need. I need to create something that people are like, that's really great.

[Andrew Collin]

Well, I'm like, perfect example of this. There's a thing on the New York Times crossword app that's like a mini daily crossword. And it's just like, you know, it's a mini one. It could take under a minute. It could take under 15 seconds if you're super good at it. And I used to. I never was interested in doing it because why would you do it? Just so you can be like, I'm fast. But, like. Like, then they created this thing called leaderboard, and you can invite your friends, and then you compete every day against your friends. I am so competitive. I, like, before I even pull it up, I, like, take a deep breath because you can't have one typo. Like, I'm against Anya's sister is, like, changed our game. Cause I am against my sister, Emily. Anya, Chris. I forget who else is on it, but send me a request if you want to compete with me on it, even though I don't think you can because you have to have my number. But. But Anya's sister is so good that I'm like, almost like, is she cheating? Like, how could this be? But she's just, like, so fast. And it's like, it's changed my life. It's made me so. I'm so into it every day. I wouldn't care at all unless it was competitive at all.

[Bowen Yang]

I got 27 seconds on Tuesday.

[Andrew Collin]

You're on. Oh, my God. No, Shawn.

[Bowen Yang]

And I brought it up to my wife when I got home last night, being like, did you do the mini. I got it in 20 seconds.

[Andrew Collin]

I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Come on.

[Andrew Collin]

I wanna look up. I'm already competitive with you.

[Sean O'Connor]

I have a complaint about this. I had the New York Times crossword games app, and I was paying for it. And I was like, oh, I love this. And then New York Times advertised to me that you can buy the New York Times app, which includes the newspaper endgames, right?

[Andrew Collin]

And then, sorry, I just opened the crossword and the time started. Go, go, go, go, go. No, no, no, no. I can't. I can't.

[Sean O'Connor]

You just burn. You're never gonna catch up to me. That was so scary, sister. Now.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, Tuesday, I bombed. You had 27 seconds on Tuesday.

[Bowen Yang]

As soon as I. There was a lot of exes.

[Andrew Collin]

You beat. You beat the girl. Maya's. You beat Maya, Anya's sister, who got 48 seconds.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, I'm beaming right now.

[Andrew Collin]

I got one minute and 38 seconds. Like, we. Chris got two. 21. And he's really fast. That's amazing, Sean.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, but I'm. I struggle every other day for some reason. Like, I was, like, locked in.

[Andrew Collin]

It's so fun. I really recommend people get the mini, but. And it's free, I think. Wait, so you. This app. And so now it's like, they advertised.

[Sean O'Connor]

Me the New York Times app, which is a separate app that you can buy, and then you get, like, the newspaper. You get access to the newspaper.

[Andrew Collin]

Sure, I have that one, too.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, right. So. But it also said you get access to the games and the crossword puzzles. And so I canceled my crossword puzzle New York Times app, and I just kept this one. Like, why would I have both? And then. And then I see that in the New York Times app, you can only play the crossword from that day. So if you miss it, you can't go back to, like, Mondays where you can actually finish it. And so I was like, this is bullshit. So now I'm gonna cancel my New York Times app. Just so you know, if you're gonna download that and pay for it, you're not getting the full catalog of crossword puzzles.

[Andrew Collin]

No, you need the catalog. I have done 9-11-1 or 9-12. Like, sometimes I go back to 2001, and I'm like. Or big days of news things. And I'm like, someone, like, did the crossword the day after September 11, and, like, are there any clues that have anything in it? It was. It's really fun.

[Sean O'Connor]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, there was probably somebody, like, sitting at their desk doing that exact.

[Sean O'Connor]

There was no computers either.

[Andrew Collin]

Do it. It's not like, oh, 100%. I would think at least 19.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, I don't. My brain doesn't turn on till 10.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

And they didn't have phone smartphones back then that all they had was crossword puzzles.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Like, pen in their mouth, like, thinking, oh, no.

[Brian Frangie]

What was that?

[Andrew Collin]

What's that?

[Sean O'Connor]

Use pencil.

[Andrew Collin]

What's that thing coming out? Oh, that's flying low. Oh, God.

[Sean O'Connor]

Can I Get a five letter word for about to die thing that's about to.

[Brian Frangie]

It's got to be annoying though, with the Jeremy Strong guy to sit there like all day in the, in the trailer and for. Because you're only acting for an hour to.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, and you see Roy cone inside a trailer.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, and you're like sitting next to him and you're like, so how about the, you know, the jets today or whatever. And he's just like, I would have.

[Andrew Collin]

So much fun with it. I'd be like, yeah, but it.

[Brian Frangie]

I can see why Brian. Brian Cox was the one that got annoyed, right? Because he's been acting for a hundred years and he's like, okay, it's not that.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, British people, like, they go to school and they're like, well, you act and it's a job. And like here, like, method acting is such an American thing where it's like you have to like live the part. And it's so foreign to them being like, you just go and do it and then you leave and go home and have like a nice cottage.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And like Jeremy Strong is like, no, I'm living as a gay lawyer in 1973.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, you're right.

[Sean O'Connor]

Method actors go nuts. That's why Daniel Day Lewis retired, even though he's the greatest actor of all time. Yeah, he was method and he was like, I can't do this. I can't just do this every day of my life, become someone else.

[Bowen Yang]

It's so weird too, because like, when you watch like Robert De Niro on a talk show, he's like just a husk of a person. Cuz like he, you know, like he puts everything into the character, but then he has like nothing to talk about because he has not lived a life.

[Sean O'Connor]

He just has strong opinions about Kamala.

[Bowen Yang]

He loves Trump. He hates Trump so much.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, so much.

[Bowen Yang]

Turns everything to a Trump. Like.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, he really.

[Bowen Yang]

At the beginning of Megapolis, there was a, like a. A talk about what this movie is. And Robert De Niro's one quote is, donald Trump could never make Megalopolis.

[Andrew Collin]

What?

[Brian Frangie]

Something must have happened in New York City with them too, at like a bar.

[Sean O'Connor]

They were at a fish restaurant.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

And Trump timed him or fucked his wife or something. I don't know.

[Bowen Yang]

I just want to say Donald Trump could absolutely make Megalopolis.

[Andrew Collin]

That is true.

[Sean O'Connor]

That is true.

[Andrew Collin]

Did you. You saw it, right?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I saw it.

[Andrew Collin]

Wait, I. I watched Amelia. We probably have to go to break, right?

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, my God. I stopped paying attention.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, let's See, we'll go to break. I'll tell you what I watched last night.

[Sean O'Connor]

After that, it's time for break.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, seven minutes ago. Okay, we'll, we'll be back after that.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Andrew Collin]

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[Nikki Glaser]

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[Andrew Collin]

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[Sean O'Connor]

So two hours.

[Andrew Collin]

No, no. Yeah. It was so long. It's.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's a musical, so they're allowed to be a little longer, I guess.

[Andrew Collin]

I cannot believe this movie. And I'm guessing 99% of our listeners have no idea what I'm talking about. Have you heard of it?

[Brian Frangie]

I tried to. I started it. I can't read that much. And it's all Spanish. There's no English.

[Andrew Collin]

No, there's some English. It gets English. Oh, yeah, it gets English.

[Sean O'Connor]

They say English.

[Andrew Collin]

That's a new campaign I'm doing. If it gets English, it gets English. If it gets. For people struggling.

[Brian Frangie]

Let me know when that starts.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's interesting because when they go to China, the Chinese doctor speaks in English.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, right.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

I just. Here's my thing is that I. Chris and I were confounded because we're like, is this the way musicals are in Mexico? Like, because none of the songs really sound like songs. They're just talking like this, and then they talk like this. It says, like. Doesn't ever break into, like, a chorus or it just seems to all be verse.

[Sean O'Connor]

This movie has nothing to do with Mexico. In fact, Mexicans hate this movie. Yeah, it's a French movie.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, that explains everything.

[Bowen Yang]

And that is how French musicals are. Like, there's, like.

[Andrew Collin]

It explains everything.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, the Umbrellas of Schomburg and, like, the Young Girls of Rochefort, which are amazing.

[Andrew Collin]

It's even giving Amelie, even though Amelie's not a musical.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, French. Like, French movies always feel very French. Like, the substance feels French.

[Andrew Collin]

As soon as you said that, I go, oh. That's the thing Chris and I could not put our finger on last night was it's French.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

Cause it's okay. So if you don't know what it is, it's about a drug cartel, mob boss, guy in Mexico who hires a lawyer. Why? I don't know. Cause he wants to hire a lawyer, Zoe Saldana, to find. He wants to become a woman. And he's transgendered, and he's desired. He's like this really gruff, terrifying cartel leader, and he kidnaps her, and he's like, I want you to find me A doctor to perform a sex change or, you know, everything. Operation so I can be a woman. And then. And then, you know, and then it happens. And then we see their lives, like, play out after that. And it's a musical also. And they break into song. All the. Every single time they break into song, I forget it's a musical.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

There's never. It's always jarring to me because they'll be talking like this, and then they'll go, but then this. This. And then they'll start, and I go, what is. Why are they talking like that? It's a musical.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Like when they're in. When Zoe Saldana is interviewing one of the doctors.

[Andrew Collin]

That is so.

[Sean O'Connor]

And he starts singing.

[Andrew Collin]

He's not a singer.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. I just. I always wanted Zoe to be like, why are you talking like that?

[Andrew Collin]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Andrew Collin]

Because. What is this thing about, like. Let's just put. Yeah, lady. Like, he actually. I really ended up liking the doctor because it seemed like a choice that he's not a good singer.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, you change.

[Andrew Collin]

But why does every woman in a musical have to be a good singer, but every man can just be shit.

[Bowen Yang]

Wicked did that too.

[Andrew Collin]

That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I'm kind of tired of this. Like, the women have to be these operatic superstars, and then the men can literally be bad singers.

[Sean O'Connor]

They're just thankful that the men agreed to be in a musical.

[Bowen Yang]

But no, I mean, like, even, like, La La Land, like, Ryan Gosling is bad and Emma Stone is like. She's got, like, the voice of an angel.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. I don't get it. And also, when are we gonna see Marie Angeli Jolie singing opera? I'm dying to see this. Why? And why is everyone a good singer? How is everyone? I'm serious. Singing is really hard. Like, we need to give credit to actors who are suddenly good singers and we didn't know about it because that shit's hard.

[Sean O'Connor]

And I can't wait to see angel acting. Growing up also took singing.

[Andrew Collin]

Yes, that makes sense to me.

[Sean O'Connor]

You never know, you might become either an actor, a serious actor, you might become a musical person.

[Andrew Collin]

Right. You gotta, like, kind of. Okay, that makes sense.

[Sean O'Connor]

But also, I can't explain why I was a lawyer that he chose because he needed an executor for the estate, because he going to provide a trust to his children after he disappeared.

[Andrew Collin]

Okay, well, then riddle me this. Why? Why? Sorry to everyone listening that hasn't seen this, but you will also be confused by this. Why did Selena Gomez Straight up move in with this aunt when she has no idea. Like how did that happen where Zoe Saladin is just like you're moving in with the aunt and like Selena Gomez just has to.

[Sean O'Connor]

I didn't get that far, so I don't know.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh. Oh, damn.

[Sean O'Connor]

Only 30 minutes.

[Bowen Yang]

I haven't even.

[Andrew Collin]

Didn't you try watching it in your car when you were driving and almost died?

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, that was me.

[Andrew Collin]

You.

[Sean O'Connor]

I was like. I started watching it in my car to save time cuz I had a 30 minute drive. Not that I'm going to be like paying attention to it, but I didn't realize that it was a subtitles movie. I was like, I can't even watch this at all.

[Brian Frangie]

Watching that movie while driving.

[Bowen Yang]

Impossible.

[Andrew Collin]

Even in a, even in a hands free car, it's impossible.

[Bowen Yang]

If you got into a car accident, the cop would pick up your phone and be like, he killed himself.

[Andrew Collin]

I just can't believe this got made. And like anyone signed on for it. It's just like it is. I'm compelled by it. I like it. But I'm just confused how things get made.

[Sean O'Connor]

Well, you know, I mean. Never mind. Definitely not confused.

[Bowen Yang]

It does feel like we know what you're gonna say now. Everything's coming from like international funding. So you have that and like France is like whatever is the most artistic. Let's do it. And then like it does feel like.

[Andrew Collin]

The opening ceremony of movies. Like the Paris opening cerem ceremony that everyone's just like what's happening? Why are there jugglers on a boat in the Seine with Celine? Yeah, that was.

[Bowen Yang]

But also it feels like for a movie to stand out now it has to be fucking batshit insane.

[Andrew Collin]

Right?

[Bowen Yang]

To like, like, I mean like the sequence stand out like yeah, like for like a small movie that like based on reading the premise, you're like I'm never going to watch that.

[Andrew Collin]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

Like.

[Andrew Collin]

But the Conclave, they're picking a new Pope. That's very simple.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

And that. Good luck getting through that movie. And it's. It's a great movie. I loved it. But it. You will fall asleep because it's so. It's. You're in a Catholic church the whole time and it's dark. You're in. You're sequestered with a bunch of popes and it's low tones, really dark. I kind of, I'm like, I'm like into the Catholic Church now because of this movie. Like I think it's good propaganda for them because I like, I like love Ray.

[Sean O'Connor]

Fine.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Ray finds is the greatest actor. Like, he's just so good.

[Andrew Collin]

Amazing. And by the way, if you're confused, maybe he ends up being evil in it. I don't know, because I haven't seen the last 50, 15 minutes. But. So if you're like, why do you.

[Sean O'Connor]

Have to watch so many movies? It's like we can't finish them.

[Andrew Collin]

I can't finish anything. I mean, yeah, I. But I did Challengers I loved.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, Challengers was good.

[Andrew Collin]

It was a fun romp. It was It Challengers going is.

[Sean O'Connor]

Remember the movie Whiplash?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Challengers is whiplash for women.

[Andrew Collin]

You know, Whiplash.

[Bowen Yang]

But I know I loved. Yeah, loved Whiplash. I loved Jeff Challengers as well. But Whiplash, who's in it?

[Andrew Collin]

J.K. simmons.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's one of my favorite movies.

[Bowen Yang]

J.K. simmons and Miles Teller.

[Andrew Collin]

And a drum kit.

[Bowen Yang]

And a drum kit.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Similar ending.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, the ending of Whiplash.

[Sean O'Connor]

In fact, similar overall. Overall plot.

[Bowen Yang]

No, it truly feels like the. The feeling I got from that. I got goosebumps. But it felt like you come.

[Sean O'Connor]

Like, and it just feels like you come.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, I love that. You know what I love in a movie more than anything that I was realizing when I was reading about. I guess I think it was reading Anthony Jeselnik, like, some kind of piece on him. Cause he likes dark stuff. And I've always. And I'm like, yeah, like, I think I like that kind of stuff too. But it was. I love movies that don't have happy endings. The first time it started happening in my childhood that I'm seeing movies that didn't like Titanic. Titanic was. Blew my mind that they don't get to be together. Spoiler alert. It was like, I loved it because it felt so real, and it felt like they were. It just stuck with me. I love movie that doesn't resolve the way you want it to. I hate going to movies. That's why I loved Wicked, because I was, like, looking at my. Like, I wasn't really looking at my watch the whole time because I didn't. I don't wear a watch. Who does? But I wasn't checking the time that much. But I liked that it was. There's a part two coming. Because all the things that seemed unresolved, I wasn't like, okay, so they got to make up again. And then we got to see them fight. Like, anytime a rom com, you're like, okay, they're happy. Wait. So I got to see them fight, and then I'm going to see them make up. Like, let's Just get, like, let's just skip. I don't. Nothing interesting ever happens. It's always the same formula. I hate when you, like, know what you have to get through to get to the end.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. I want. I kind of want either no resolution or just, like, a downer ending.

[Andrew Collin]

Lost in Translation.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Like, I love. My favorite feeling after a movie is having to go outside to, like, smoke a cigarette and, like, process what I just watched. Like that I want to feel. I want movies that make me feel bad.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's how I felt after a burden, man.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. Oh, burn.

[Sean O'Connor]

I was like. I left the theater, like, what the.

[Brian Frangie]

I mean, like, Bronx Tale. I felt that the Safet.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, my God. Oh, I did. Because I was too young to have known, like, what really happened in that play at the time. But when she. When they. When she shoots herself. Oh, my God, it's so.

[Bowen Yang]

I love the Leo Claire Danes.

[Andrew Collin]

I. I think it's one of the best movies ever. Like, maybe I was so young and naive, but it was so good. The way she sobs when she. He's dead. Like, her ugly sob is one of the best ever.

[Bowen Yang]

It, like, looks awesome. It just, like, looks like you're in, like, this heat wave, like in Florida, and, like, everything's yellow tinted.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. Things are.

[Bowen Yang]

Jamie Kennedy's cool in it.

[Andrew Collin]

He's amazing. What the hell, man?

[Sean O'Connor]

The Little Mermaid when Ursula loses. It's so sad.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm just like, a movie.

[Sean O'Connor]

I gotta recommend. Recommend it. You must have seen this movie is Sicario. Have you ever seen that? I bet you Chris loves Sicario. I guarantee you. Go. Go to Chris and say, what do you think of Sicario?

[Andrew Collin]

Sicario. Yeah. I'll ask him right now.

[Sean O'Connor]

So Sicario is a great movie that kind of. I don't want to say what happens at all, but it subverts expectations, and that's why it's a brilliant movie. And then Sicario 2, Day of the Soledad does the exact opposite and is not a good movie.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. I really did not like that one.

[Andrew Collin]

Who loves Sicario?

[Bowen Yang]

Emily Blunt.

[Sean O'Connor]

Emily Blunt's the lead and Benicio Del Toro.

[Andrew Collin]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

But I loved Anora and Nora. Really made me feel like it was like a punch in the gut.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

In theater. It was great.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

So good.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's really funny, too.

[Brian Frangie]

I like the bad guys when they would get hurt and they felt human.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Made it so comical. And you're not expecting the comedy.

[Bowen Yang]

God. And some of the subtitle of When They're Speaking Our Meaning. Where where it's like, God, America sucks. I want to move back to Armenia. It's like, yeah, yeah, I love it.

[Andrew Collin]

I can't wait to see that.

[Sean O'Connor]

I'm glad I've lived in la because I really related to the Armenians. I never knew any Armenians in New York, but when I moved to la, every single doctor or dentist that I have is Armenian. And then when I was in Glendale, everybody that went to the gym was Armenian. I just feel like I intimately know Armenians now.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. I love.

[Andrew Collin]

That's why it's important to be multicultural, to, like, you have empathy when you're around people, even if you think, oh, I would empathize even if I don't know them. When you know people, it makes it easier to.

[Bowen Yang]

For some reason, people from my small town in New Jersey do not empathize with anyone that isn't, like, white, working class Irish and Italian.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And, like, I think, like, yeah, like, I'm like, I'm like a mini United nations in my phone book.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, I just got a call from Roseanne's podcast. Podcast. So that's happening.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Sean O'Connor]

Wait, she called you? I thought it was supposed to be you contacting her.

[Andrew Collin]

I think it was supposed to be. I told her, don't. Don't expect me to respond until after the girl.

[Sean O'Connor]

Right. Because you're really busy right now.

[Andrew Collin]

You said she wanted to get into this morning.

[Bowen Yang]

Cannot wait.

[Andrew Collin]

Roseanne. Yeah. Roseanne. Yeah. Was. Oh, my God. During my set, it was the first time I ever met Roseanne. And she comes up to me from behind and sees, like, the detail on my jacket and goes, I want this. I want to do this. Did you do this? And I'm like, no, I am not crafty. She goes, I want. And she sends her to a friend. She goes, I want this. And I was like, oh, you should do it. It would look awesome on your jacket. And Roseanne looks good.

[Bowen Yang]

She looks good, like. And I like. It was very interesting to see Roseanne in.

[Andrew Collin]

She's an icon. No matter what's going on with her today, she's, like, one of the greatest.

[Sean O'Connor]

And she's really nice.

[Andrew Collin]

Daffy. Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

She introduced herself to me, and she had no reason to. You said, are you going? And I said, no.

[Andrew Collin]

She's so cute.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. No, Rosette was cool. I saw her smoking a bone outside.

[Andrew Collin]

Really?

[Bowen Yang]

Smoking a cigarette Smokes. Yeah. And, like, she was smoking, like, she had the vibe of somebody who, like, owns a casino floor.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

But it's falling apart.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Like, this rocks.

[Andrew Collin]

And I heard her laughing during my Set very loudly. Like, distractingly loud.

[Bowen Yang]

She was having a good time. I think people in Glendale heard her laughing.

[Sean O'Connor]

She's having a good time. It must be interesting being Roseanne. Being Roseanne is like being like, Shaq or something, where just everywhere you go, every single person is like, is that you're constantly being pointed at. Probably.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's like a different level than, like. Than, like, Nikki.

[Andrew Collin]

It's like, yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

We walk into a room, and every single person is like, oh, my God, that's blah, blah, blah. And there's like, they're not even a person anymore.

[Andrew Collin]

It's like, I always think that I was watching Jennifer Lawrence through the curtain at that women's event I did last week, like. Cause I was backstage waiting for everyone to sit down, which they would not fucking sit down. Like, all these women at this luncheon. I had to go out and open the show. And they keep telling them, please take your seats. It will be beginning soon. It's a half hour after supposed to start. No one's hearing the Voice. And then the voice starts getting like, please, please take your seats. And then they just start playing the music and going, nikki Glaser, everyone. And I walk out, and I'm like, no, no, I'm not walking out. First of all, they didn't dim the lights, and everyone's still standing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

Like, literally. And right. Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lawrence, and Anna Kendrick are all taking pictures right in front of the podium, standing up, having a conversation, when I'm supposed to say my opening line.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, did you go out?

[Andrew Collin]

Yes, because it said, welcome, Nikki Glaser.

[Sean O'Connor]

It's like, oh, God, you should watch. John Mulaney had to do the same thing. I forgot. What, the awards. Was it the DGA or something?

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, I remember it was last year.

[Sean O'Connor]

He came out and he had to tell people to sit down for, like, a good three minutes. And that's all on tape.

[Andrew Collin]

Hilarious.

[Sean O'Connor]

He did do it in a funny way. I forgot what he did. I just called.

[Andrew Collin]

I can't be funny when I'm angry.

[Sean O'Connor]

We haven't talked. Talked about this on the podcast yet, have we?

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, maybe not. Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

What did you do?

[Andrew Collin]

It was called the Hollywood Reporters Power 100 Women's Breakfast Luncheon. Breakfast, breakfast Gala. The Search for Curly's Gold, Part 1. That was my joke. It was, like, the longest thing, and it was at 8:00am God, that's the.

[Sean O'Connor]

Biggest crime of the world.

[Andrew Collin]

I'm not even kidding you. I think I would have turned it down had I known that was the time, like, you just. When you agree to a gala and you says breakfast, you assume maybe 11 or something, like it was being there at 8. And then openings. Then they ask. So they tell you you're Women's Hunt. You're a part of the hundred.

[Sean O'Connor]

One of the hundred.

[Andrew Collin]

Yes. That's the first thing I got. And I go, oh, very cool. Great. That'll be a cool event to go to. They're like, it's a big press event. Every, lots of famous people. Great. I'm so honored. Then a week before, because they definitely asked Chris Convey, who produces things, you know, confirmed that they definitely went out to other people and they got turned down. So then they finally went to you and asked if you would do the opening remarks. Chelsea Handler had done it. Will Ferrell had done it for some reason. Who else had done it?

[Sean O'Connor]

He's not a woman.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, it was Molly Shannon did it instead.

[Sean O'Connor]

They sent me all opening remarks before.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. So they sent me all their monologues. They go, you need to do 10 minute or two minutes. And I looked and everyone's done like eight to 11 minutes.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

And I'm like, oh, God. And then, so then I wait till I, you know, Bob. Bob and Sean helped me write it. And it's, you know, we're bogged down with Golden Globe stuff and like everything else. And so it was just waited till the last night to read, start working on it. And it was like 8:00 at night. And then I also had to go do four sets.

[Sean O'Connor]

You were at sets doing Golden Globe stuff.

[Andrew Collin]

You helped as well? Yeah, you did.

[Sean O'Connor]

I didn't help with that, but.

[Andrew Collin]

No, you were weighing in on it.

[Sean O'Connor]

I was around. We were doing Golden Globe stuff.

[Andrew Collin]

And then I was also like, guys, I gotta work on this speech I have to give in four hours. And then you. Because I have to read the prompter. At seven I had to be there at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Is that where it was? Yeah, at seven to run prompter.

[Sean O'Connor]

Great hotel.

[Andrew Collin]

Which means I have to be in here and make up up at 4:30. And I went to bed, I think at 3 after staying up after the sets all night to like work on the monologue. And then I'm in hair makeup with my laptop working on it. And it ended up being good. But it was just like you get there at my table was Pam Anderson, Julia Fox, Anna Kendrick, Kathy Bates. Kathy Bates was. I didn't. And Emily was my plus one. Gen zm.

[Sean O'Connor]

Cool.

[Andrew Collin]

And she told me afterwards that. And Gen ZM got hit on by one of the waiters at seven in the morning.

[Sean O'Connor]

What happened?

[Andrew Collin]

He was just like. He was like, a very friendly guy and he wasn't bad looking. But she was like, that waiter just asked for my number. I was like, do it. She was like, no. But then I realized he was just. His energy was off.

[Bowen Yang]

He's a waiter at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Next up, sitcom.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gave the opening remarks. It went well, but it felt to me like a C minus because it just felt like I stumbled over some of the lines. I just. Even though I rehearsed it a million times and, like, you know, instead of getting a picture with Jennifer Lawrence, I'm back reading the prompter. Like, I could have mingled. Like, I didn't get. I didn't get any, like, pictures with famous people. I'm like. Because I did opening remarks, I didn't get to have any of, like, the. The glitz and glamour of it. I mean, I did the red carpet, but I was like, I missed out on some stuff. But anyway. And then after I give the speech, I was like, it's this weird thing when you have to, like, open something and then you have to hang out. Like, I love if I'm doing meet and greets, I like to do them before the show in case I bomb. I don't have to, like, see anyone. I. I don't want to, like, sit down after I do something and have people have to, like, tell me good job when I didn't do a good job. And so I felt like I bombed, But Anna Kendrick was next to me and was like, how does it feel to have just killed in this room? And I was like, really? Like, she's just being nice. And then. And I'm sitting there just, like, wanting to shove all the avocado toast at the table down my throat, because I'm just, like, nervous and, like, anxious, and I'm like, I want to binge. And no one's eating their avocado toast. It's crazy. No one's touching it, any of it. It's the biggest waste of avocado toast in the history of avocados. It was crazy.

[Sean O'Connor]

Even avocado toast, you'd think that would be something.

[Andrew Collin]

It's just an awkward thing to eat because you have to pick up the whole thing and be like, I love food. Or you have to, like, cut it with a knife. And then you're like the woman cutting avocado toast with a knife.

[Sean O'Connor]

You gotta be. Everyone's taking pictures of you. You gotta be careful.

[Andrew Collin]

Avocado's messy and people are crying about women leadership and representation and ethnicity in film. And you're like. Like, it's just, like, it's not the. Everyone's quiet, and then there's applause. But when it's applause, you have to stand up and applaud. You can't be eating the toast, so anytime there's a loud moment, you can't even eat. So anyway. But I'm, like, kind of. Like, I kind of just bombed. Like, not bombed, but I just, like, it wasn't what I wanted it to be, and. And I'm not really paying attention. I'm kind of just like, trying to text on my phone to Chris. Like, that was really awkward. I just want to get out of here. Like, I feel so embarrassed. And the woman that's, like, runs the event or is like. She kind of looks at me and smiles, and I'm like, oh, does she like me? Like, I was trying not to make eye contact with her. She was like an older woman that I'm like, she probably, like, is disgusted that I said anal bleaching, like, at her lunch, and she kind of, like, smiled at me, and I'm like, oh, maybe she doesn't hate me, like, or maybe that was a sympathy. But then, first of all, Julia Fox at her table. I did see this. She is filming everyone that gets up to speak, like, a proud mom, like, holding the phone, like, like, zooming in and, like, so excited and just, like, perfect, you know, posture and just cheering everyone on. It was really, really cute. She was adorable. And I got to meet her beforehand and got to tell her how much she means to me. I think I love her. She's. I very inspiring to someone who's just, like, being them. She's very, very Jeremy strong.

[Bowen Yang]

The world needs Julia Foxes.

[Andrew Collin]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, you need somebody who. More, please, who, like, it's like she kind of has her hand in every little pot, but, like, she doesn't have, like, a thing. She's just. Julia Fox.

[Andrew Collin]

Yes. And she's just like. I feel like she's. There's a lot of effort going in in terms of fashion and, like, her appearance and I guess. But it's like, it also was like, she's doing it for her. Like, she even said she bleached her eyebrows because she realized it was the one thing men, like, are disgusted by when they see a woman without eyebrows. So she did it on purpose to have men be, like, repulsed by her. And I kind of loved that.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

Because she's just been, you know, hurt Too many times or whatever it was. But she was like, I just make. And then she realized, like, being skinny is something that men desire. So she's like, I wanted to get fat because I just want, like. I mean, obviously, you know, that's a probably trauma response, but I just kind of liked that whole. She's just, like, badass. Anyway, Emily was sitting between me and Cassie. Kathy Bates.

[Bowen Yang]

And did Emily know who Kathy Bates was?

[Andrew Collin]

No, she said that woman.

[Sean O'Connor]

That woman.

[Andrew Collin]

The woman that was sitting on.

[Sean O'Connor]

So of course not.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, she was in. She was in Misery at this table, too. She couldn't believe it.

[Sean O'Connor]

What was the result of this?

[Andrew Collin]

So then I got up from. So then the event ends after Nicole Kidman speaks. Selena Gomez speaks. Jennifer Lawrence speaks. And I got up and it. So many people came up to me and was like, that was incredible. Like, in a way that I couldn't deny that it was good. So it was felt. I felt good that. Because I was like, I want to be line out of here. I don't want to talk to anyone. Like, I'm so embarrassed. Like, it wasn't that I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want anyone to feel like they had to be nice to me. So I was kind of, like, walking with my head down. Like, Emily, just follow behind quickly. And then people were stopping. Like, Molly Sims came up to me and was like, that was insane. I'm obsessed with you. There were so many, like, I'm obsessed with you moments. Like, that was amazing. You had me dying. And apparently I made Nicole Kidman laugh really hard.

[Sean O'Connor]

Amazing. And someone else what at.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, I made a joke that, you know, I'm in the Hollywood 100. And I said, oh, what ranking am I? And they're like, that's. It's not a ranking. You guys are all equal. And I go, oh, in that case, can I sit at Nicole Kidman's table? And that's when the correspondence ended. It was something like that. And she really loved that. Even though I was right next to her table and I got to. I think she did eat her Operation Avocado toast, which I thought was fucking badass.

[Sean O'Connor]

This is an amazing honor. And also it's really good because now you're gonna have some really solid goodwill at the Golden Globes with the people in the room.

[Andrew Collin]

The right move. Even though I wish I wouldn't have said yes to it, because I was. I didn't sleep for, like, three days, and I felt insane. And that meant I cried at a photo shoot later. That day because I just, like, couldn't handle it anymore. I was just, like, I can't. Like, I was just weakened. You know, when you haven't slept, you're just insane. But. But in the end, it was good. Because now at the Golden Globes, there.

[Sean O'Connor]

Will be a smattering of people, 50.

[Andrew Collin]

People who know what I'm capable of and, like, are rooting for me, and, yeah, it'll be good.

[Sean O'Connor]

Nicole Kibbon may laugh again.

[Brian Frangie]

And handling a cold room like that. And you only had two minutes, so you didn't have time to deal with.

[Andrew Collin]

And I did, like, seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you end up doing more.

[Bowen Yang]

The videos online that you crushed. Like, that's so nice.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Where can you find the video?

[Andrew Collin]

You just, like, Google Nikki Glaser speech, Hollywood Women's 100.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, Google all that, and it comes up.

[Andrew Collin]

Ye. Thr is a good. Yeah, yeah, you can find it. If you really want it, you can find it.

[Bowen Yang]

But it's great. Like, you did such a great job.

[Andrew Collin]

And thank you.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm not just saying this because you said, you're welcome.

[Andrew Collin]

Thank you for your help on it. Oh, my God. I. Like, I'm so grateful to. Because I was. When we were at the improv working on it, and I was about to go on stage and do Golden Globes jokes, but, like, we're just. I was just. What did I. Didn't I say to you, I want to die?

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, you said. Right before you went on stage, you said. Said either I want to die or I want to kill myself.

[Andrew Collin]

And I think I said, I want to die. It was more of, like, I wanted something else.

[Sean O'Connor]

And I don't think you heard me, but I was like, don't do it until January 6th.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. I was really so tired. And I just saw the amount. Like, it's like. It's like a. It honestly was like, do you ever have nightmares that papers are due or tests are due or something? Like, it felt like a nightmare of, like, I have to get this thing done by the morning. I don't see how. I'm just not. When I don't see sleep ahead of me, I start getting really angry and. But we got it done, and it's over. And I can't wait for Kimmel to be over. Cause I'm feeling that same thing of, like, I have a lot of work ahead of me today to figure out what I'm gonna do, but it'll all be okay. And then tomorrow, I get to go to New Hampshire.

[Sean O'Connor]

Amazing.

[Andrew Collin]

And honestly, I told Chris Today I was like, this weekend is like days off. Even though I'm traveling and doing shows, it feels like completely like I have shows on the road. This weekend I get to get out of the stage.

[Sean O'Connor]

A bunch of nobodies in New Hampshire.

[Andrew Collin]

And every photo shoot and every glam session to be great.

[Sean O'Connor]

We have to take a break.

[Andrew Collin]

Okay, we'll take a break. We'll come back after this.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Bowen Yang]

There for your first drive, the hatchback.

[Nikki Glaser]

That took you cross country and back.

[Bowen Yang]

And the minivan that tackles the weekly.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Andrew Collin]

Could catch anything sitting in this doctor's waiting room. Okay, just wiped his runny nose on my jacket and the guy next to me sitting in a pool of perspiration insists on sharing my armrest.

[Nikki Glaser]

Next time, make an appointment with an Amazon One medical provider. There's no waiting and no sweaty guy. Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Andrew Collin]

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[Bowen Yang]

Such a clutch off season pickup Dave.

[Nikki Glaser]

I know, right? I was worried we'd bring back the same team.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh no. I meant those blackout motorized shades.

[Nikki Glaser]

MVP of the room blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds.

[Bowen Yang]

Hard to install.

[Nikki Glaser]

No, it's easy. Even you could do it. Nice. I installed these and then got some for my mom too.

[Sean O'Connor]

You fly across the country to do the install.

[Nikki Glaser]

Nope. Blinds.com can do it all. All she had to do was pick what she wanted. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install.

[Sean O'Connor]

Look at you, hall of Fame, son.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh. I just picked the winning team. They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh. Blinds.com is the goat.

[Nikki Glaser]

The goat.

[Andrew Collin]

Shop blinds.com right now and get up to 45% off select styles, plus a professional measure and a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Save up to [e-mail]. blinds.com rules and restrictions may apply. All right, final thought. Did you guys see that I was New York Times Comedian of the Year?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, that's what that was. Of the year. Whoa. I didn't even know it was a.

[Andrew Collin]

Thing because people keep saying, I didn't. I don't read things about me. So I just see the press. Emily's like, girl, slay queen. Look what just came through.

[Sean O'Connor]

Wait a second. At the store.

[Andrew Collin]

And I posted blindly at the store.

[Sean O'Connor]

Last night, one of the comedians said, how does it feel to be Comedian of the Year?

[Andrew Collin]

Yes. That's a literal thing.

[Sean O'Connor]

I thought they were just saying that because you really did, like, win the year.

[Andrew Collin]

No, it's not. But they meant literally, New York Times Comedian of the Year. And I go. Because I said to Emily this morning, I was like, I feel like we need to make a post about this because. Cause it's like, I wanna just. It's not even to be like, look what I am. I like the guy who wrote it, put a lot of effort into it. And it's like, it is a big honor that I need to acknowledge the people that gave it to me. And I go, but where does it say Comedian of the Year? And she's like, right below your name. And I'm like, why is this even a. I didn't even. Was this a thing?

[Sean O'Connor]

I'm gonna look it up. I wanna see who else was Comedian Year.

[Andrew Collin]

It must be the Avon. No. Oh. In the past. There's other people that are, like, kind of talked about. This year is.

[Sean O'Connor]

That could have possibly been Community of the Year.

[Bowen Yang]

But, like, special mentions.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. Special of the Year.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Like.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh. So since I have the New York Times app that I pay for, I can see all of the history of New York.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, my God. Amazing. Because I don't recall this being a thing that. Because I would have obviously been jealous of whoever had been crowned it before and thought, it'll never be me. This is.

[Sean O'Connor]

They have a December 5th. 20. 23. Best comedy. It seems like maybe Jim Gaffigan was Comedian of the year in 20, but they just list them as Best Special. They don't say Comedian of the Year.

[Andrew Collin]

Hmm. Yeah. I think this is a new thing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, this is kind of the year. You're the first comedian of the Year.

[Andrew Collin]

That's so nice. And immediately I'm sad because I can't be next year. Does that ever hit anyone like that? Like, I can't. Like, I hate the day after my birthday. I hate the day after Christmas. Like, I hate that. It's. It's like, I don't like getting things. Cause it means I can't get them.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, no. My son just dealt with this, like, for the first time, really, in choir class. He got star student. And then the next week, I was like. He was like, I'm not gonna be star student this week. And it's like, it's, hey, man, he's.

[Andrew Collin]

A three, dude, he's a three.

[Bowen Yang]

That's how it works.

[Andrew Collin]

Like, sorry, I can't stand it. And the thing is, I would never have dreamed of being Comedian of the Year in the years past. If I would have seen that, I would have been like, man, that just sucks that I'm just not talented enough to ever even be considered. Like, it wouldn't have even been a thought of mine that I could have it. Like, I'm not like, man, I want that to be me. It's just like, man, I wish I was born more talented that even could be considered that. That's what my thought would have been. There are some things that I look at and I go, why did they get that? I want that. I deserve that. But this title, I would have never thought. But it is. It's very nice. But it immediately I'm like, next year it's going to be someone else, because it can't be me again. And what's the point of keeping trying?

[Bowen Yang]

And isn't this the beauty of just being alive is getting. Getting, like, honored, bestowed this honor of being the Comedian of the Year, and, like, you can't truly enjoy it because you're just looking ahead.

[Andrew Collin]

But do other people feel this way about, like, when you find, let's say, like, you know, one big pursuit in life is finding your forever person. So, like, after you get married, is there a little bit of, like, I can't find my forever person again? Like, I'll never get married again? I mean, like, you could.

[Sean O'Connor]

I mean, I didn't feel that. I just felt relief. Yeah, that is really?

[Andrew Collin]

Really?

[Bowen Yang]

That's one thing. Off the dock.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

Interesting. I guess I do start now feel that way about Chris. Like, and I think before I was a little bit, like, scared of, like, I'll never have a crush on anyone again or, like, you're not crushes. Yeah, but I mean, like, not one that I can act on because that's like. That's what causes you to feel excitement. It's like, oh, my God, our hands are touching. Wait, are we gonna kiss later? Like, that's all the thing that, like. And you kind of just close that chapter. But, like, I don't know. There's. I think that it's not just me in this position of, like, this kind of award feeling that I think I feel this all the time of, like, oh, I can't get that again.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, well, you could. I mean, you just got top this year.

[Andrew Collin]

No, I have to go away. I have to be, like, canceled or something. When I'm like, 72, I can get that again.

[Sean O'Connor]

I just did some very basic research, but it does seem like this was the first ever comedian of the year, which means that you were the first one to get it. And to quote LeBron James, who the Lakers last. You know what I'm going to say. No, you just heard LeBron James.

[Bowen Yang]

And I'm nodding. Nodding. Because I love LeBron.

[Andrew Collin]

Yes.

[Sean O'Connor]

So last year in the NBA, they did the first ever in season tournament where they give out a trophy. And then a lot of the players get money that don't normally get money, and even coaches. And The Lakers won. LeBron James is on the Lakers, and he said, records can be broken. Any of my records can be broken. There's only one thing that you can never break, and that's being first. And they were the first ones to win, and that'll never be taken away from you. And you're the first one to ever win.

[Andrew Collin]

I really like that. No one will ever be able to get that again.

[Sean O'Connor]

You're the first.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, that's good. I'm also the first solo woman to host the Golden Globes, which is, I think, really funny. Doing it alone. Like, is she going to be okay? I'm going to talk about on Kimmel tonight, I think so funny to me, like, yeah, why is that even accomplished meant, like, it seems like something in, like, the 1928 things alone.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Well, think about the first woman to ever fly across.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, my God, I'm going to be eaten by coconut crabs. I think that's what happens to it. But, yeah, I'm I'm trying to think of, like, things.

[Sean O'Connor]

Maybe you come out with a life.

[Andrew Collin]

Preserver or, like, I want to just come out with, like, my keys between my fingers. Like, you know, like, walking to your car alone, like, as a woman. Like, what do you do?

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, cutout or something. Maybe you're holding another woman.

[Andrew Collin]

There are times where I look at Tina and Amy's monologue, and I'm like, man, it would be nice to have another person because there's that. That it's just a fun device to have.

[Sean O'Connor]

Who is Nikki's Amy to. To Tina. It would be Rachel Feinstein.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, that would be fun. That would be fun. I trying to think. I mean, I would take anyone. Jennifer Lawrence would be a really fun one, I think, because she is already, like, looked at as, like, a comedic figure. Yes. I think that would be so fun.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yes.

[Brian Frangie]

I would feel like that would be harder to write for a 2 Pro.

[Andrew Collin]

It would be harder because I would have to deal with her, like, dealing with her team. And, like, I would just want to write it and be like, jen, will you just read these lines? I don't want to. I don't want to work with you on this. No, she. I would, but I think that would be an interesting. Yeah, but now that I'm doing it solo, I don't want.

[Sean O'Connor]

What about you and, like, James Franco? Would you do that?

[Andrew Collin]

I can't believe they did that. One year.

[Bowen Yang]

It was fun that they met for the first time on stage.

[Andrew Collin]

All right, five minutes. Anything else to discuss?

[Sean O'Connor]

Well, you. Well, I'm gonna go to hypnotherapy tomorrow.

[Andrew Collin]

I know.

[Sean O'Connor]

So that's. Stay tuned.

[Andrew Collin]

This working.

[Sean O'Connor]

I hope it works. My only hope. What's it for? For clenching at night. Okay. Everyone who talks to me about hypnotizing myself says that it worked for them or their friend or their aunt.

[Bowen Yang]

I've never heard somebody say hypnosis didn' work on them. Like.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, but I guess.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, like, so it's. It seems like it has 100 success.

[Sean O'Connor]

100? Yeah, that's what I have to believe.

[Andrew Collin]

And if it doesn't, just go to a different one.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. So my. My hypnotherapist, I. I am very hopeful, but they have an accent that is. I don't know if it's, like, Austrian or something, but for whatever reason, I. I feel like hypnotherapists should have, like, a suit. Soothing voice that gets you, like, sleepy, like a Sam Harris type or something. And this person's voice, it just, like, doesn't soothe Me to my core. And I'm a little worried about that.

[Andrew Collin]

When I got hypnotized and did that, like, she did that past life bullshit, and she literally had the Spinning a wheel spinning that I had to look at. I just felt my struggle was, like, giving in to the, like, believing that this is a thing. And you feel the struggle in your mind of like. Like buy into it or like. Or be cynical of it.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Collin]

And I kept trying not to be cynical, but then I felt stupid whenever I wouldn't be. But I think it was because this woman was so wacky, because I went in being like, I want this to work so bad, but I just couldn't let go because she was just. She. She just seemed so. She's digging through her purse. She, like, can't get things going. She puts the wheel right in front of me. And then she goes, that's too close. And then she's putting. She's propping it up on phone books. Like. Like, it was just. Yeah. And so I just put it in the.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's working on your subconscious.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. And because I was like, I don't want to be like, I don't want to be defenseless with this woman.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

You didn't feel comfortable?

[Andrew Collin]

Like, I don't feel comfortable. Yeah.

[Sean O'Connor]

I have to say, I had a consultation with this woman, and she. She was very comforting, and I do trust her. Just the voice. I'm like, I think my subconscious is going to reject it because it's like.

[Andrew Collin]

No, don't say that.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. I just want to say, when in history has an Austrian person done anything bad?

[Sean O'Connor]

I don't know if she's Austri, but she.

[Andrew Collin]

What time tomorrow are you doing this?

[Sean O'Connor]

Actually, it's not tomorrow. Well, it is tomorrow if you're listening to this.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, got it. Friday. Yes, it's on Friday.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's what I mean. But, yeah, I mean, her name is very strange. I don't want to say it on the podcast because she's not good, but her name is very strange. And that, to me, makes me think that she might be good at this.

[Andrew Collin]

Wait, can I see her name?

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. You don't even know. I'm going to show you my phone. It has a bunch of words on it. You're not even going to know which of those words is her name.

[Andrew Collin]

Stop.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's how strange.

[Brian Frangie]

Is there, like, a Yelp kind of review? Like, are there reviews that you can see for her?

[Andrew Collin]

I'm looking at. Okay. That is a crazy name.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

I have to see it almost is.

[Andrew Collin]

Like, it sounds like a prostate medicine.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Sounds like a sound that you would relax to.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, yeah. It sounds like a mantra.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, that's my mantra. Whatever works. I'm a very impressionable person, but.

[Andrew Collin]

Well, you got to stop.

[Brian Frangie]

So you're grinding your teeth.

[Andrew Collin]

Well, this is the thing I learned last night that perhaps because he gets really. Can I say that you get depressed if you. I mean, he wears a mouth guard because he has to wear a mouth guard. And if he wears a mouth guard to stop the grinding, which. The grinding causes insane pain for him. So he has to wear a mouth guard. But if he wears a mouth guard, he wakes up insanely depressed. I don't know why anyone knows why this would be. And he. He thinks that maybe grinding your teeth is a thing that we do to release dopamine throughout the day and to lower cortisol. And to lower cortisol. So when he's not grinding, he is insensitive. Insanely, like, wildly depths of depressed. Depressed. When he wakes up in it, like in a man, almost manic.

[Sean O'Connor]

It lasts all day. Yeah. And, yeah, it's all this. I have all the symptoms of low dopamine.

[Andrew Collin]

So he's either in extreme pain from grinding or he's in extreme pain from low dopamine. So he's has to stop grinding.

[Sean O'Connor]

I have to stop. It's clenching. Really? Not even the grinding.

[Andrew Collin]

So if anyone has any insight into that. Yeah, because that's crazy to. Like, a mouth guard would cause depression. But it makes sense.

[Sean O'Connor]

It could be psychosomatic. But it could also. I. All my psychosomatic tools that have worked for every single other thing I've ever had don't work for this. For this problem.

[Andrew Collin]

I wonder if there's an Alan Carr book.

[Brian Frangie]

Have you tried using the mouthpieces? Like, maybe during the day? Maybe you get used to it. So it's not just.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. No, I've tried.

[Andrew Collin]

He's tried, like, seven different mouth guards.

[Sean O'Connor]

Seven guards. And I forced myself to. And the thing about it is, the last mouth guard I had especially, is incredibly comfortable. It's like the most comfortable mouth guard I've ever had. I can sleep in it fine. I fall right asleep. I liked it. But then I would wake up and I would have all these horrible things.

[Andrew Collin]

And how's the mattress going? Is that saga?

[Sean O'Connor]

So mattress was definitely a similar issue where I have a psychosomatic obsession with this stuff.

[Brian Frangie]

I cannot say agency every time you say.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, but no, I just decided the way I solved that Problem was I just was like, I need to buy the most normal mattress I can find and then just say, everybody is fine with this mattress. You can't.

[Andrew Collin]

Right? You can't complain about this because of so many people being threatened.

[Sean O'Connor]

Everyone is fine. This is in hotels. This is. People just. This is fine. If you can't get used to this.

[Andrew Collin]

Mattress, that's a really good device to do to normalize it for you.

[Sean O'Connor]

And then the second thing I did was I said, and you're not buying another one. So this is it. This is a good mattress.

[Andrew Collin]

You're on the right path, Brian. I feel like this is gonna work.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah. Yeah, me too.

[Andrew Collin]

Oh, my God. It has to. It's going to. Do not get held up by her name and her accent.

[Sean O'Connor]

Oh, no.

[Andrew Collin]

Just trust.

[Sean O'Connor]

No, no.

[Andrew Collin]

I feel good because I actually, actually, that's the name of a hypnotist.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's right.

[Andrew Collin]

That's a crazy name.

[Sean O'Connor]

That's right. That's something.

[Andrew Collin]

That's a wizard.

[Bowen Yang]

She learned it at birth. It's been passed down.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah, she went to Shiz University. That is the name of a professor.

[Sean O'Connor]

We can wrap.

[Andrew Collin]

All right, we gotta go. Thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast. I'll see you in New Hampshire and Vermont this weekend and then tour dates resume again. That'll be my last tour dates of 2024. Been a great tour. Thank you all the besties for coming, coming out and then I'll see you again in 2025 on that epic tour that you need a magnifying glass to like read any of the dates. So check that out. Nikki Glazer dot com. Thank you, Brian.

[Sean O'Connor]

Yeah, you already watched that. Sorry.

[Andrew Collin]

Yeah. Brian, Sean and Andrew, thank you for being here and we'll see you next time. Don't be care. Bye. The Nikki Glaser podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's big money players and I heart podcasts created and hosted by me, Nikki Glaser. Co hosted by Brian Frangie, executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sonni and Noah Avior, edited by Lean and Loaf Video production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki glaser podcast on YouTube. Follow ickyglaserpod and subscribe to our channel.

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