#497 A Cancelled Christmas, Andrew's Wrong Pizza & Behind The Scenes Tea

Summary

Detailed Summary of "The Nikki Glaser Podcast" - Episode #497: A Cancelled Christmas, Andrew's Wrong Pizza & Behind The Scenes Tea

Release Date: December 25, 2024
Host: Nikki Glaser
Partner Hosts: Matt Rogers, Bowen Yang, Brian Frangie
Produced by: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts

In episode #497 of The Nikki Glaser Podcast, Nikki Glaser teams up with Matt Rogers, Bowen Yang, and Brian Frangie to deliver a hilarious and heartfelt discussion centered around a canceled Christmas, a comical pizza mishap, and an exclusive peek behind the scenes of their creative processes. The episode seamlessly blends personal anecdotes with sharp humor, offering listeners both laughter and relatable insights into navigating relationships and the pressures of the entertainment industry.

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A Cancelled Christmas

The episode opens with Matt Rogers sharing a poignant story about his partner, Chris, choosing to cancel their planned Christmas festivities to stay home due to illness concerns. Matt grapples with balancing his professional commitments, including a show at the Funny Bone, against his desire to spend quality time with family and their dog, Goldie.

Matt Rogers [05:50]: "It's really sweet that he wants me there...this is what marriage feels like where you're just like, this is my family now. Like, I'm not going to see. He comes before my family."

This segment delves deep into the complexities of maintaining personal relationships amidst professional obligations, highlighting the emotional strain and the importance of mutual support in partnerships.

---

Andrew's Wrong Pizza

Bowen Yang and Brian Frangie take center stage with an amusing recount of a pizza ordering fiasco. Bowen narrates his experience of mistakenly ordering the wrong toppings, resulting in his partner, Brenna's, frustration.

Bowen Yang [09:18]: "I just buy two pepperoni and peppers, and I don't know how I did that."

The conversation humorously explores the universal challenges of communication mishaps in relationships, emphasizing how small errors can lead to unexpected and funny outcomes. The hosts also share similar personal experiences, reinforcing the relatable nature of such everyday blunders.

---

Behind The Scenes Tea

The latter portion of the podcast offers an exclusive look into the joke-writing process and the pressures of live performances. Matt Rogers discusses the intricacies of crafting jokes that resonate with audiences and the dopamine rush that comes with a joke landing well.

Matt Rogers [28:21]: "It's almost like the same as standup. Like, when you write a joke and it works in front of a crowd, you get this, like, dopamine hit of like, I'm good. I figured out something."

The discussion then shifts to their recent trip to the Empire State Building for a press tour, where Matt describes the overwhelming nature of the experience and the challenges of staying creative under pressure.

Matt Rogers [53:20]: "I was up there and they're like, bullet. Emily came up with a great idea to like. Because they were tossing around their social media team was like, you want to film something? And we're going through all these, like, ideas."

The hosts reflect on performance anxiety, the importance of authentic connections with the audience, and the behind-the-scenes efforts that go into producing engaging content.

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Memorable Moments and Insights

Throughout the episode, the hosts share candid moments that add depth to their humor. For instance, Brian Frangie recounts his struggle with multitasking leading to a car mishap:

Brian Frangie [18:36]: "I was about to drive around with, like, the trunk just open."

This anecdote not only provides comic relief but also underscores the theme of everyday challenges that listeners can relate to.

Additionally, Nikki Glaser interjects with witty observations and occasional humorous advertisements, maintaining the podcast's signature fast-paced and engaging style.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Matt Rogers [05:50]: "This is what marriage feels like where you're just like, this is my family now."
• Bowen Yang [09:18]: "I just buy two pepperoni and peppers, and I don't know how I did that."
• Brian Frangie [18:36]: "I was about to drive around with, like, the trunk just open."
• Matt Rogers [28:21]: "It's almost like the same as standup. Like, when you write a joke and it works in front of a crowd, you get this, like, dopamine hit of like, I'm good. I figured out something."

---

Concluding Thoughts

Episode #497 of The Nikki Glaser Podcast delivers a blend of humor, vulnerability, and insightful discussions that resonate with a broad audience. By sharing personal stories about canceled plans, relationship dynamics, and the behind-the-scenes hustle of comedy writing, Nikki and her co-hosts create an authentic and entertaining experience. The inclusion of notable quotes with precise timestamps adds depth, allowing listeners to revisit memorable moments easily.

Whether it's navigating the complexities of a partnership, the hilarity of ordering pizza, or the intense environment of a press tour, this episode encapsulates the essence of Nikki Glaser's brutally honest and fast-paced approach to discussing current pop culture and personal life.

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Note: Advertisements and sponsored segments interspersed throughout the podcast have been omitted to focus solely on the core content and discussions among the hosts.

Transcript

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Nikki Glaser]

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[Brian Frangie]

Card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[Nikki Glaser]

ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Matt Rogers]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like.

[Nikki Glaser]

So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in.

[Bowen Yang]

The last time you walked out that.

[Nikki Glaser]

Door, you look back at me and gave me a double bird.

[Matt Rogers]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Nikki Glaser]

The wheels come off.

[Matt Rogers]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults?

[Nikki Glaser]

Have you watched the news lately?

[Brian Frangie]

That's not a thing anymore.

[Nikki Glaser]

New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Matt Rogers]

This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Save the date for your cordially invited.

[Nikki Glaser]

A hilarious new wedding comedy starring Will.

[Brian Frangie]

Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon.

[Bowen Yang]

Chaos ensues when two weddings are accidentally.

[Matt Rogers]

Booked on the same weekend at the same venue. Uh oh.

[Brian Frangie]

Will Ferrell plays the father of the.

[Nikki Glaser]

Bride and Reese Witherspoon is the sister.

[Matt Rogers]

Of the other bride. And they go head to head to make sure the ones they love get their special day together on screen.

[Bowen Yang]

For the first time ever, it's Ferrell versus Witherspoon. Chaos comedy and alligator wrestling await you.

[Matt Rogers]

And invited watch January 30th on Prime Video.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Brian Frangie]

Unlimited effort to unlock the unlimited possibilities.

[Matt Rogers]

Of your small business.

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To connect all aspects of your business.

[Nikki Glaser]

And see your business made limitless.

[Matt Rogers]

Learn [e-mail] Business Are you still quoting.

[Nikki Glaser]

30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the Now It Pays to Discover. Learn more at discover.com credit card. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report.

[Matt Rogers]

The Nicky Glazer podc here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser podcast. We're in Los Angeles, California, with Brian, Frangie and Andrew Collin. We started the show before, but then we had to redo it. So we're just gonna, like, catch you up to what we were just talking about. And we didn't get that far in, but we're talking about.

[Brian Frangie]

So we got up to the 1989 when the wall fell in Berlin.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And by the way, it wouldn't take me long to get up to there because I don't know a lot of what happened before then. I'm really bad on history. I don't. Please don't even bring up the history.

[Brian Frangie]

Okay, Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

I just, like, I really want to.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, you were talking so smartly about.

[Bowen Yang]

Earlier in German when we forgot to record.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, you were speaking in German. You told us all about the Prussian empire.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm sick of you. Hi. I'm sick of you hiding this.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm under pressure. When you bring that pressure under pressure.

[Bowen Yang]

And then mine goes, din, din, din, din, din, din, din, Dinner. And then mine goes.

[Matt Rogers]

We were talking about. So we're recording really early because I had a flight out today to go home. So we're doubling so early. Two episodes back to back. It's way too early Brian to catch. He was walking his dog at 7:10am and no one's out. Then he runs into another comedian walking his. What are you doing up?

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. And he's like, I'm always up. And I was like, what?

[Matt Rogers]

It was wild.

[Brian Frangie]

Then he turned to a vampire and he flew away.

[Matt Rogers]

And then. Yeah. And then we got into the Franco Prussian War.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. Yeah. That was really realigned. The nations in Europe.

[Matt Rogers]

And then we were talking about, oh, so I don't even need to record early anymore because I'm not going home to L. A. Because Chris is sick. And. And then we were talking about how I. I just assumed I would still go home when Chris got sick last night. And I was just talking like, oh, it sucks. Like, you can't go. And he's like, but you're not going. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, I forgot that in a partnership you have to, like, be one unit. Like, that's what. Like, we're not married, but essentially we are. Like, it's just. That's. That's the deal.

[Brian Frangie]

That's why when you have your vows, you say in Sickness and in health.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, we haven't done those yet though, so I think I could still have it.

[Brian Frangie]

You have no vows, so also, I.

[Bowen Yang]

Think it depends on the sickness. I mean, if it's cancer, you gotta stay. Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

But he usually, like I was saying, he usually just wants to isolate. And when he's sick, I literally, he'll go to his apartment because he saw his place in St. Louis. He'll leave his house and. And be away from me because he's really worried about getting me sick. That's why he doesn't want to go home for Christmas. He doesn't want to get his family sick. He knows he'll have to be like, they'll still want him around. So he's just like making the decision, no, you can't have access to me. But then. So I was figuring, oh, he wants to just be alone. Like, he's like Luigi, when Luigi got sick once, he. They just. Dogs just go under a deck to die. Like, they just want to be alone to go die. And that's always what he has done. But this time he's just like, well, we can just stay here. And I was like, well, I got that show at the Funny Bone. Like, I'm just trying to get ways to go back and see my dog. Like, I want to go hang out with Goldie, but. And like, you know, the nieces and nephews, I guess.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

But he's like, well, you could just cancel that show. And it like, he's never, like, he's always one to like, you know, you gotta stick to your commitments. So like, it was really. It's really sweet that he wants me there. And I felt like, oh my God, this is what like, marriage feels like where you're just like, this is my family now. Like, I'm not going to see. He comes before my. Yeah, that's really nice.

[Brian Frangie]

That's right.

[Bowen Yang]

I love that you. You changing it from a club gig to an arena just so that going.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, is there any way we can move?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it's not a big enough show.

[Matt Rogers]

It isn't. Yeah. So we. So sorry to everyone at the Funny Bone who had tickets to come see me on Christmas night. But I. It's Chris's good news to everyone in LA, cuz I'm. I've already. It's 7am and I've already booked sets for tonight and tomorrow. And hopefully Christmas will come through.

[Brian Frangie]

Hopefully Santa will come through sets tomorrow.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Christmas Eve sets.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

I guess they're Jews.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, they're Jews.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, they're Jews.

[Matt Rogers]

I'll find one.

[Brian Frangie]

There are Jews in L. You'll find a Jew.

[Matt Rogers]

Maybe there are one tomorrow. Maybe on, on tonight, that I have a couple, two or three. But yeah, I'll find some. I'll find some way to perform, but then I'll. I also have tons of shows to watch for the Golden Globes and movies and stuff to catch up on, so that'll be good.

[Brian Frangie]

This will be a memorable Christmas.

[Matt Rogers]

But you were saying that you were on the way over here and you had the same thought about, like, partnership, and I used to remind yourself to, like, be there for someone. What was it?

[Bowen Yang]

So I just, I, I, I'm not good at it. I'm not good at thinking about other people.

[Matt Rogers]

Me neither.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm so. I don't think I'm selfish. I think I was just raised to be selfish.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I mean, that you get it from somewhere. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I think my dad, My dad was a workaholic.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

But it didn't transfer to, like, showing other, like, working in other ways. It was one thing being a doctor helping cancer patients. What a selfish prick.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. But no, doctors are detached in a way that doesn't really read as a product. Selfless dude.

[Brian Frangie]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. And you could hide behind. You could hide behind it by being like, oh, I'm saving cancer patients.

[Matt Rogers]

And your kids can always have you. Like, you always do that with your dad. You're like, well, he wasn't always there for us, but he was saving people with cancer. It's just like, even you are, like, having an excuse for the abandonment.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, of course. Yeah. I mean, it can't.

[Matt Rogers]

But your dad's an amazing guy. He, to death, softened with age, much more caring, much more sentimental.

[Brian Frangie]

Classic dad.

[Bowen Yang]

It really does. It's unbelievable when they. Well, he got cancer himself, and I think that.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, wait, that's what my patients were going through. And then you realize maybe what did.

[Matt Rogers]

You do with Bretta that made you.

[Bowen Yang]

Feel like, oh, well, yesterday, Literally yesterday. I'm just like, I also have adhd, so it's a combination.

[Matt Rogers]

We'll say it right.

[Bowen Yang]

Adhd.

[Matt Rogers]

Adhd. Luigi. Adhd.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Manicardi. So yesterday, for instance, I ordered Domino's for us. And.

[Brian Frangie]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

And she wanted pepperoni and onions, and I did pepperoni, banana, pepper. Just because I don't listen.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, well, hold on. Walk me through that. Like, you literally did it. You just did what you wanted.

[Bowen Yang]

No, I don't.

[Matt Rogers]

Or did you? I ordered two peppers and onions.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. You know me, because they could be.

[Matt Rogers]

I could See how, like, just in your brain, like, hearing it while you're pulling up the app, you're just like, onion, pepper, like, oh, that thing. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

They sound similar. They look similar when they're cut up.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. They both have, like, a spicy Yesterday.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

This is what I need. I need a team. Like, I'm just trying to figure out.

[Matt Rogers]

Why you did it.

[Brian Frangie]

We need to know your intention. Yeah, kind of.

[Matt Rogers]

Now I'm on her side, so.

[Bowen Yang]

Sorry. I've been sick too, but I'm good now. I'm just.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. And you already had it.

[Matt Rogers]

I already had it. I'm good.

[Bowen Yang]

So there was onions. I. I want. I got two pizzas. One. I got onions.

[Brian Frangie]

Sound like you're on the stand right now and you sweating.

[Matt Rogers]

There were two pizzas.

[Bowen Yang]

There were two pizzas.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay. Why not one for yourself?

[Bowen Yang]

Why not one for one was for me. You're.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

How.

[Brian Frangie]

How.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

A Few Good Men. But anyway, so I. I was gonna get one onion and pepperoni, one pepperoni and peppers, but I got two pepperoni and peppers, and I don't know how I did that.

[Brian Frangie]

That's.

[Matt Rogers]

Does she hate peppers?

[Bowen Yang]

She doesn't hate pepper. She doesn't love pepper.

[Brian Frangie]

Pizza is a specific thing, and it.

[Matt Rogers]

Really will compromise the flavor.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, it's overwhelming.

[Matt Rogers]

I put pretty much any banana.

[Bowen Yang]

Pepper is strong.

[Matt Rogers]

Olives.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, yeah, These are all very strong.

[Matt Rogers]

What's the best topping that you could remove without ruining integrity? I would say mushrooms, I think, but I know some people hate mushrooms so much, but they don't like ling. They don't have a pungent, lingering.

[Brian Frangie]

No, no tomato slices.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes. That's. Oh, that's perfect. That's the best one. Spinach.

[Brian Frangie]

Spinach. Yeah. You could pull. It's hard to get the spinach off. You always have remnants.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, I love. Why would you not have spinach on a pizza? Like, it's tasteless.

[Brian Frangie]

Spinach does, though, if you. If you have spinach, the juices of the spinach. Because if you cook it at home, it seeps in.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

And then it does wind up tasting weird.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, this. This weekend, I ordered a pizza, and I said, I want extra sp. Spinach. Like, a lot. Like, three times the amount you put on. And then Chris chimed in and said, like, try to get weird with spinach. Like, try to make her, like, hate spinach. And they never do that. But this. This place actually did too much spinach. Like, it was. It looked like turf. Like, astro turf on my pizza because I get vegan, and it was like. It was so good. I know they didn't ruin it for me, but, like, it. It must have been a field full of spinach to get it that much, because it just. We all know it gets.

[Brian Frangie]

Literally, spinach is one of those things that, like, you get a big bag, and you're like, oh, my God, this is so much spinach. And then you put it in the pan.

[Matt Rogers]

Dime.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, it turn. Turns into a little.

[Matt Rogers]

It's the opposite of those little pills that you put in water, and then they turn into, like, a dinosaur.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, so the pizzas arrive. Brenna is just pissed.

[Bowen Yang]

So Brenna went to work, and she came back, and I was trying to surprise her.

[Matt Rogers]

Sorry. When you're, like, getting pizza and you're like. You are already in your mind, like, I'm gonna let myself have pizza. Like, I'm going on vacation. Diet vacation.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. It's a little cold, and then your.

[Matt Rogers]

Flight'S canceled, or it's like you were gonna fly first class and the canceled flight and you have to fly Spirit with a bunch of peppers.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. A bunch of.

[Matt Rogers]

That's like. That's what she did because she still got to go on the vacation of the pizza, but it's shittier.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. And I'm just trying. My problem is I, like, I really do try to be a good person.

[Matt Rogers]

I witness it all the time, and I constantly fail.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And I try, though. In my brain, I'm going, I'm getting these pizzas. I'm getting a ranch with it too. She loves that. She's gonna come home, it's gonna be sitting there, everything's perfect. And next thing I know, the guy shows up, and he. He. I go. I open up the piece. I go, these are both peppers. He goes, that's what you got. And I was like, no, I didn't. I got onion.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, no. And then you. Then. Now you have an attitude with him, and you look at the order, and then he's right. Oh.

[Bowen Yang]

And I go, I got a ranch too. And he goes, no, you didn't. And then I didn't get the ranch either. I don't know what I'm doing on this domino app.

[Brian Frangie]

What happened?

[Bowen Yang]

Because I'm fucking going back and forth. There's too many apps.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, it's. Okay.

[Brian Frangie]

Wait, so how did Brenna respond to the peppers?

[Bowen Yang]

She was. She's like, you don't think. Yeah, maybe you need some medicine.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, no.

[Bowen Yang]

Maybe you need to get on Vyvanse. Well, she didn't know the name. That'd be weird if she Knew maybe you need 30 milligrams.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. All of a sudden she has wiring glasses.

[Matt Rogers]

She knows, like, the generic.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, here's Dr. Rubenstein. Yeah, he's on Melrose.

[Brian Frangie]

So you. What happened when you were flipping through the apps? Like, why couldn't you just do it? Right?

[Bowen Yang]

I don't.

[Matt Rogers]

I think I know. Like, okay. Because sometimes I do it. Like, it's happened to me twice this week that I've ordered, like, an Uber Eats order, and albeit, like, I was in the middle of something else. And I'm trying to put this order in so that all the salads get there on time for the writers meeting and, like, ever. And. And. And I'm. I was like, at the time having injections put into my face, and I'm trying to, like, talk to the doctor, but also press the app and not be rude to him who. He's, you know, trying to analyze my face to, like, put filler in.

[Bowen Yang]

Trying to put peppers in there.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, Trying to put some peppers. And he put onion. And I go. I ordered ranch. So I was pressing it. And then Chris, even. You even witnessed. I think you were there the other day when Chris, like, we were getting an order. We've done so many of these writers meetings where the food shows up, and he's like, nikki, I love you so much. You're so good at so many things in your life, but you are so bad at clicking the add utensils button. I just can never remember to do it. Even though every single time it is a fucking hassle because we don't have enough silverware in our apartment. It always comes to, like, me having to beg someone to use chopsticks and. And also, yeah, I. And I ordered it to the wrong address. But I. And I know every time I go, nikki, next time you open this app, check the address. And then I don't. And so it's just like. It's just too. You just, like, in your head.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like when I poop before I shower, and then I don't want to. I don't flush the toilet. And then I go, I'm going to flush the toilet when I get out of the shower.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, and then you forget to flush the toilet.

[Bowen Yang]

Then I always forget to flush.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like uncapped things not being capped, toilets not being flushed. I constantly am not flushing toilets. Literally constantly.

[Bowen Yang]

The worst is when your partner goes in there and it's just like, fucking.

[Matt Rogers]

Never say anything ever. That's even sadder. You just hear, like, a sad, quiet flush and you go, oh, no. That was too quick for him to do. He couldn't have peed in that time. And there must have been. What was in there? What did he see?

[Bowen Yang]

Onion.

[Matt Rogers]

What part of me did he.

[Brian Frangie]

That's a nightmare.

[Matt Rogers]

I'd rather. Yeah, it's like, it's. It's. It's. But I always forget to. I think that's an add thing too. Like, I forget to flush toilet all the time.

[Brian Frangie]

So it's really just about distractions and not being. And having too many things you're focusing on at once, which I can relate to.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I think. I think that's must be it. But I. I can't stand it when you're like, I know what I meant to do. And then I did the opposite thing.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And that's when I get very defensive because then it's like, how could you do this? It's like. But I was trying so hard to be positive.

[Matt Rogers]

That's always what. I love my dad, when he gets mad at my mom for not remembering something. I'm like, she can't help that. It's not like she's choosing not to remember. Yeah, she's not. No one would choose to, like, set their life up so that they have two peppered pizzas.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. So many pepper pizzas.

[Matt Rogers]

But it's also, the person has an argument to be like, you need to be more thoughtful. Like, you know, it's like, everyone has, like a point.

[Bowen Yang]

Also, my reaction to it doesn't mean that. That that other person should have the same reaction. Like, so if you ordered two banana, pepper and pepperoni, I'd be like, oh, sweet pizza. It wouldn't be like, how could you not think about this? It'd be so chill.

[Brian Frangie]

Was she like that before you got married, or does this change now?

[Bowen Yang]

The day I got. It's the same.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, now she's locked in. So now she's like, am I married to a man who gets two pepper pizzas? Now she's got really stakes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Try to get you to be more than.

[Bowen Yang]

I want to teach my kid to.

[Brian Frangie]

Be a pepper pizza. Yeah, exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

God, it's just.

[Bowen Yang]

It just never stops.

[Matt Rogers]

Everyone just talks about how great marriage and partnership is, but you forget that, like, if you're a person that's pretty on their own, like, doing things like, that's a nice. Being single might be horrible in some ways because you're lonely and you just feel like you're always lacking and you're always trying to find someone. But, like, enjoy the fact that you don't have to, like, care about anyone else.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, it's the best. I didn't have cups. You know that.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I didn't have, really. Sheets, one towel, maybe gave a girl.

[Matt Rogers]

After she spent the night.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, yeah, she spent the night. She asked for a glass of water, and I brought her back a bowl.

[Matt Rogers]

A bowl. Oh. Because that's all he had.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Red flag.

[Bowen Yang]

It is a red flag that she.

[Matt Rogers]

Didn'T enjoy the fact that you brought her something is. Is funny, though, and nice, I think. Like.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I was just trying to be.

[Matt Rogers]

She had to have known what she was getting into with you. She couldn't have been shocked by the poll.

[Bowen Yang]

But at that moment, I didn't have anyone to answer to. And so, like. But I was falling apart.

[Matt Rogers]

You've come. You've come a long way.

[Brian Frangie]

What are you in the CIA? Why are you.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Yeah, I was trying.

[Brian Frangie]

Your house.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I'm trying to look like a poor loser so people didn't know who I was. Yeah, this happened the other day. I. My washer dryer.

[Brian Frangie]

I.

[Bowen Yang]

So I have a. I live in a very small apartment. We have a washer dryer, but it's like a. Two for one.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Oh, we have that right now. It sucks so much. Just empty the dryer water.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. And it's only one. You can only put a. Like a wash rag in there.

[Matt Rogers]

And it doesn't get hot. It's just. Dries it cold.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, man. I thought that invention was good.

[Matt Rogers]

No, it's kind of fun to see the water, though, that comes out. Out. It's kind of satisfying.

[Bowen Yang]

Where does it go?

[Matt Rogers]

It's so much water in your clothes, and you, like, you have to drain it in the sink. And I told Chris, I kind of like that. Like, I see the process, but it's such shit. And the clothes don't get dry. They're all constantly damp, even when you wear them for hours.

[Brian Frangie]

So the other day, I was. Two days ago, I was having the same thing where I was very distracted. I was thinking about a million different things. And I had to bring Jack to the vet for his monthly thing. And I walked into the car. I put Jack in the car.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

I sat and I had to get his bed out of the trunk. And I put it in the backseat. I put Jack in the backseat. I get in the car, and I'm sitting in the car and I'm, like, ready to go. And I'm like, man, it's like. It's weird noise. Weird noise happening. What is this. And I'm like, about to go, and then I turn around and I realize I just left the trunk open.

[Bowen Yang]

Yep.

[Brian Frangie]

Like, the whole thing. I was about to drive around with, like, the trunk just open.

[Matt Rogers]

That's so normal.

[Brian Frangie]

But I mean it.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, I thought Jack was gonna be, like, outside the car scratching or like, his leash would be caught in the door. Something like. Way more horrific.

[Brian Frangie]

Guys, I was. I. I looked down my. I forgot to tie my shoe.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

That is tough. No, both of them.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think I've ever put. Like, I have the electric car. Whenever I take the thing out, I don't think I've ever put the flap back on. Every single time I get in my car and it goes. The flap is all out, and then I get out.

[Bowen Yang]

I drove away twice with the gas tank in. I literally did it.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. Did it take off?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. The loudest thing. It's so embarrassing.

[Brian Frangie]

What do they do? They come out screaming like, what are you doing?

[Bowen Yang]

Actually, one time the guy was pretty cool about. He even charged me. But then the other time, my brother was driving and he didn't. He didn't love it.

[Brian Frangie]

How much does that cost?

[Bowen Yang]

I think only, like, 80 bucks.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, that's.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, really?

[Brian Frangie]

Probably happens all the time.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait, there is a, like, set charge for if you.

[Bowen Yang]

I guess.

[Matt Rogers]

And what is it happens the nozzle.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

It was out of the device or it rips out of your car.

[Brian Frangie]

The pumps are designed for. To rip off. Off. Because it happens so often.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay. Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

We were down the road, and my brother looks an inside mirror and just dangling out. Just dangling.

[Matt Rogers]

Because if your music's loud enough, anything can be happening.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, sister Hazel.

[Matt Rogers]

Honestly, this is why I don't want kids. Because I would leave them in the backseat.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, oh, that's my.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that's like the big fear. Because I have read so many articles about people for getting their kids in their back seat, and it happens. There's this article that was like, it happens to everyone. Don't think you're a type of person. It doesn't happen to. It's happened to every kind of person. This responsible CEO, this mother of three who had everything going for her. This person who has never touched a drug in their life. This person who gets good sleep and does ice baths. This person who's a piece of like. It's every. Like, you can't avoid it. So unless you get a car that's like. Like has. I would only have a kid after that because I can't trust myself and I die you just think, yeah, because it's hot.

[Brian Frangie]

Even the CEO.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Like, it happens to everyone. And it's like. And it's. It's. There's nothing you'll ever recover. It's like the worst thing that will ever happen.

[Brian Frangie]

You're getting your own car. That's pretty bad.

[Matt Rogers]

Bad. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

It's probably worse than, like, the banana peppers.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know.

[Matt Rogers]

It's. It. But close. But you. But you. You. Every parent, because that is a fear, they must convince themselves that could never happen to me. But I'm just telling you, it could. And so that is why I do not want a kid. Because it. It could.

[Brian Frangie]

It's the same reason I never want to hold a baby. Because they say, you won't drop the baby. You won't drop the baby.

[Matt Rogers]

And it's like everyone thinks they're better than accidents.

[Brian Frangie]

Right? It's like, I'm not. I do. I. The risk is so high to hold someone else's baby for what? So that.

[Matt Rogers]

I think that's crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

But, yeah, baby. I feel like if you hold someone.

[Matt Rogers]

Else, you've never touched a baby.

[Brian Frangie]

Not even my own little sister.

[Matt Rogers]

No way.

[Brian Frangie]

Thirteen years.

[Matt Rogers]

No way.

[Brian Frangie]

I've never touched a baby.

[Matt Rogers]

You're being silly.

[Brian Frangie]

I've never held a baby.

[Matt Rogers]

Stop it.

[Brian Frangie]

I've never held a baby up right.

[Bowen Yang]

Now you want to hold me?

[Matt Rogers]

Literally, you could drop a baby and they'll be fine. I'm not kidding you. They're very durable. You can't leave them in a car for hours.

[Brian Frangie]

But if you drop their head, they're, you know, and they have a brain injury.

[Matt Rogers]

No, they're actually. They're not gonna hit their head. You're not gonna drop. You've never dropped something that. That you're paying attention.

[Brian Frangie]

I just left my trunk open.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, but, like, if you're. It's not like you're like, we're asking you to hold that and throw bowling pins at you to juggle. Like, you would be concentrated on it. There would be no worry. Sitting on a couch and someone can set it in your lap.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm never laying down. Hold the baby late. Start laying down and work your way up to your feet. Start with a laying down baby.

[Brian Frangie]

It's not gonna do it. Why?

[Matt Rogers]

Well, that's why I don't want to hold a guy.

[Brian Frangie]

I'm the same way with guns, baby.

[Bowen Yang]

Nice.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't want to hold a baby and a gun at the same time. Recipe for disaster. But, yeah, I'll give a gun to a baby.

[Brian Frangie]

But I'm not gonna hold either.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah you baby. You hold this gun. I'm not holding either of you. Yeah. All right, we gotta go to bank. We'll doctor after this.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Nikki Glaser]

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[Matt Rogers]

Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Matt Rogers]

Could catch anything sitting in this Doctor's waiting room.

[Nikki Glaser]

A kid just wiped his runny nose.

[Matt Rogers]

On my jacket, and the guy next.

[Nikki Glaser]

To me sitting in a pool of perspiration insists on sharing my armrest. Next time, make an appointment with an Amazon One medical provider. There's no waiting and no sweaty guy. Amazon One medical healthcare just got less painful.

[Brian Frangie]

So we were all at Thursday Night Football for the last one, and so we were in the bowels of the stadium, and Andrew was there in a box.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, no. I was just a lower seat. The guy that's actually in charge of all the boxes. It's his seats.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Somehow I worked out.

[Matt Rogers]

How does the box guy only have seats?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, that's a good question.

[Matt Rogers]

Cruel guy that's in charge of who's in the boxes, he can't get in.

[Brian Frangie]

Ironics. That's an Alanis Morissette lyric.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah. When you run all the boxes, but all they give you a seat. Yeah, that's it. That's a good one.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like rain.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you have access to, like, the food, though, and stuff like the.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, actually. But it was cool. No, it was definitely, like, 10th row behind the Chargers.

[Matt Rogers]

Who was playing? I forget now.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, me too. The Broncos.

[Matt Rogers]

Chargers and Broncos. Broncos.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, we're. We're in the bowels. We're all writing and. And you know you're on zoom, so you can put jokes in, and every once in a while, through the zoom, we just hear, like, there isn't enough onions on my hot dog or something like that.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, we'd hear you, like, bartering with the.

[Bowen Yang]

Like. No, just on mute. N. They don't even know I can do whatever I want. They'll pay me for anything. Did you hear that?

[Brian Frangie]

Did you hear me?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I was like, yeah, no, they're working like a bunch of losers while I own those.

[Matt Rogers]

You were asking the cotton candy man to. For a joke about the last play.

[Bowen Yang]

He's actually pretty good. He came up with that yard one.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you write the yard one? Yeah, I like that one.

[Bowen Yang]

That is a really hard one.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm always so close. No, that. That doesn't mean you're not. You probably had it. I just changed it. This here's. Here's a hearing a little insight into joke writing. Here we go. The. It was like that. Yarba Harbaugh. What's his name? Stalwart. What's his. What's the other? Harbar.

[Bowen Yang]

It is hard.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't like his name. I don't like him and his brother's names.

[Bowen Yang]

Sounds like yard.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay. You said that he looked. I take him seriously. He looks like someone who yells, get off my yard to his own yard.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And you changed it.

[Matt Rogers]

I said, because it's usually get off my lawn.

[Bowen Yang]

I know.

[Matt Rogers]

So I changed it to lawn to. And then we said, oh, maybe it'd be better to say he yells, get off his lawn to his own yard. And we all agreed that worked. And then I said it out loud, and I was like, no, it needs to be the same word. And so then we changed it to lawnmon. And it did work.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it hit hard.

[Brian Frangie]

That was good. Yeah, that was good.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Brian Frangie]

But, yeah, yard and lawn. It's the difference between peppers and onions.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, Nikki does this thing where she. She bolds. Or. Or you. You bold.

[Brian Frangie]

Nikki bolds.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, you bold. So we submit a bunch of jokes, and then you see the bolds and you get. It's like a little heroin hit.

[Matt Rogers]

No, that's.

[Bowen Yang]

Those bolds don't make it to the final because then you get really good ones in the room of, like, what that person specifically looks like.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

So it's hard to get a bold to another.

[Nikki Glaser]

No.

[Brian Frangie]

Are you aware of this side of things where when you bold something, the writers get.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, sometimes I'm in the document where all the jokes are, and I will see other little, like, anonymous kangaroo in the Google Doc. You know what I mean? Like, I'll see someone watching one of.

[Brian Frangie]

Our writers from Australia.

[Matt Rogers]

He named that really good. Yeah. And he'll say, naru. No, I am aware of that because I obviously, like, if I could never be on the. Not never, but it would be hard for me to be on the other side of it and submit jokes. And actually, it'd be kind of fun because I like the competition. I would like the reward. It would make joke writing. It's almost like the same as standup. Like, when you write a joke and it works in front of a crowd, you get this, like, dopamine hit of like, I'm good. I figured out something. So, like, it would be that equivalent of being in a writer's room is having the person that you're writing for pick yours and go, you're good.

[Brian Frangie]

Exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

Gold star. So it would be like.

[Brian Frangie]

So in this instance, you're the crowd.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes, I'm the crowd.

[Brian Frangie]

So you should know that when you are bolding something, you are making someone happy.

[Matt Rogers]

Now, I do know that, and I understand that, and I will. Heavy is the hand that bolts.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, don't. Don't do that.

[Bowen Yang]

No, everything's gonna be bolded.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, heavy is the hand that pulls as.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like. It's weighing. It's weighing on me.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, don't extra bolds, because that's.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I would never extra bold, but I. I would never. Because I don't. I don't want to give positive reinforcement to something that isn't, like, should. It's. People only grow if they're like, but. And also, I would also say if any of the writers are listening. Anything. I don't. If you put in something that's great, it could be great. It's just my taste. It's not a crowd. It's one person.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

One person who has proven to have ge.

[Brian Frangie]

And you're gonna cut off our head if we don't.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, it's like.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like one of these.

[Matt Rogers]

I would just. If I were you guys, I would convince myself that she's just like, ugh, Nikki just has bad taste today. Or, like, she doesn't get it. Like, she doesn't see the potential of this. And so, yeah, I would. I would. I would do that if I were you. But no, it's. It's so fun. And it's like. Like, you know, But I still feel it, too, when I'm able to write a joke and it, like, gets in. And obviously, I kind of know that everyone's gonna be nicer about my jokes than I am. Like, I can easily be like, no, no, you. And I'm not rude about it, But I don't convince myself that, wow, everything I say is so funny. Cause no one's gonna be like, but, yeah, I know when something bombs and then when something's good, and it feels so good when you're able to write a joke. We have a space right now in the script for the Golden Globes that is just like. It is just. We're holding space.

[Brian Frangie]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Brian Frangie]

Huge gap.

[Matt Rogers]

Huge gap.

[Brian Frangie]

We need this trophy.

[Matt Rogers]

Aw. Like, there's no way we can step on stage without having a big joke about this movie, and we just haven't nailed it yet. There is literally nothing that could even come close to filling that space.

[Brian Frangie]

We need. We need to write a joke about the confines of a fig or whatever the movie is called.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

That's definitely the one. That's the least. That would have been the proper thing to say for the joke if I could remember. The sacred of the fig.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. The sacred. Yeah. There's some movie that has a fig.

[Brian Frangie]

That's the correct movie to say for that.

[Matt Rogers]

Joke to work for that joke to work.

[Brian Frangie]

Because it's so unimportant anyway.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes, but.

[Brian Frangie]

But last night we're at this restaurant.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That was fun.

[Brian Frangie]

Golden prepping for the Golden Globes. And we. We had this other thing we wanted to fill, like, a kind of another gap we wanted to fill, and we've been trying to, like, crack it for a long time. And then we're just going through all the names of all the nominees, and then, I mean, it just came out of Nikki's head just like, in. Like sometimes a joke comes out, like, fully fun.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that's just came out.

[Brian Frangie]

And you said it like. Like, you said it because it made you laugh. And then we were all like, yes, that's correct. That's the. That's the joke.

[Matt Rogers]

That's so good when that happens. When you're just kind of, like, saying something and people go, wait, that.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, but that. That. That joke only came out of because we were trying to crack this joke that, like, we kept pitching things that were, like, sexual in nature because that was kind of like, seemed to be where we were going with it. And it seemed like the easiest way to crack that whatnot. And then the only way I thought of that was to be like, okay, if I can't be sexual, what is this?

[Brian Frangie]

Right?

[Matt Rogers]

Like, what is something else? And then that's. I think what hap. Helped. It's like sometimes you just have to come up with barriers, make things work. Even though you think that having no barriers, it's like anything could happen. Like, sometimes it's too much room.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Or you. You start. I'm all of a sudden thinking about something sexual. It's like, it doesn't have to be that. Like, I was thinking I was making my. The job easier, but I was making it a lot harder.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. Well, then we tried it at the comedy.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh. And when it worked, we were. It was like such a good feeling.

[Brian Frangie]

Bob said. Me and Bob shook hands. Like, we just did the moon landing. It was just like. Because I said to him before, I was like, if this joke doesn't work, I don't. I lose all faith in my ability to judge comedy.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, wait. There's been some moments, though, of running this set where, like, the other night there was a joke that, like, the whole premise of the joke is that there's this movie and within this movie, there's this one performance that is just kind of weird and like. Like. And. And that's the. That's the whole premise of the joke. Is like, this part of. This part of this movie is weird and doesn't line up with the rest. And it's solid. Like, this is a solid observation that every single person that was has weighed in on this script has noted as well.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

So I'm on stage and it doesn't do well. Like, it doesn't resonate.

[Brian Frangie]

Not even. That doesn't do well.

[Matt Rogers]

It gets literally nothing. It's not even a hitter, not even a titter.

[Brian Frangie]

It wasn't even a groan. It was as if they didn't recognize that a joke had just.

[Matt Rogers]

So I stopped and I go, did you all see this? Who's seen this movie? The whole room, you know, 80% of the room, whatever, 70% of the room, clubs. I go, did you think this thing was weird in it? This thing that I'm talking about? Did you do agree that it was not Good, Good. This part, they all agree. And I go, well, then why didn't you laugh? Dead silence. They're just like, we don't know. Like, it's just not. And I got backstage and we're like, we still just can't figure out why I'm making an observation about something that we all agree is the thing. And it's actually saying something bold, too. Like, it's. It's kind of. It's not. It's not mean. It's just like, it's pointing out something that no one's really said. But it's like, it's that there that's inherently funny. Why is this not working?

[Brian Frangie]

This one's a mystery.

[Matt Rogers]

It's a mystery.

[Brian Frangie]

I want to see it one more time, I think. Just. No, I mean, I, I, There's. It's a scientific anomaly needs to be studied.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, there's Wait, there's been some. So many funny moments. There was one last night. I wish we could get it. I'm, like, nervous to even get into it.

[Brian Frangie]

Which one? Oh, God, no. We can't talk to Andrew.

[Matt Rogers]

No, you didn't even want. So something happened at the show last night, and I'm sorry to besties who are like, don't talk cryptically, but there was a moment during our running of the sets last night that we. Do you ever. In a. In a group of people, you're all friends, and then something weird happens, and you all are like, this is so weird, but you can't say it out loud because the weird thing that is happening is, like, it would be rude to call it out because that weird thing is not part of the group. Right. So you all look to each other like, are you okay with this? And you go, I guess they are. So I'm not gonna say anything. Or I guess they know what's going on here, so I. I shouldn't say anything. Each one of us, we collectively found. It was a group of six of us. After. After this happened, we all got together and then we all go, so you guys all knew about this, right? And they. No one knew what was. No one was okay with what was happening. But we all had can gaslit ourselves into thinking that everyone else was okay with it, but none of us were.

[Brian Frangie]

This is like.

[Matt Rogers]

And it was so bonded.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. This is like the Nazis. This is exactly like the N. Nazis.

[Matt Rogers]

Chris was, like, walking around being like, I should have done something. I can't believe I did. I was seconds away from saying something, but I thought that you were okay with it. And I was like, no, this was the greatest thing that could ever happen. This is so funny. It's making us laugh. It's. It's team building to have a common, like, sure thing that, like, it wouldn't have been as funny.

[Brian Frangie]

You gotta have a scapegoat just like the Nazis.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. It all comes.

[Brian Frangie]

We've experienced.

[Matt Rogers]

I had a much more positive take on it.

[Brian Frangie]

Now we understand how it could get that far.

[Matt Rogers]

But I loved that moment so much. Yeah, it's the. The monologue's coming along. We're getting. We're two. We're less than two weeks out.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Every time I go to the Golden Globes nominees page to, like. Because it's all. It's a beautiful site that has it all lined up for us. We're very grateful for that because whenever you want to check a reference, it's, like, right there.

[Brian Frangie]

Y.

[Matt Rogers]

They have a countdown clock on the top. So, like, it's. It always says, like, today It'll be like 13 hours. Exactly.

[Brian Frangie]

How much?

[Matt Rogers]

13 days, 14 hours. Yeah. Yeah. Which feels like a lot. But it's like whenever you have something looming. I'm sure you felt this way about your wedding or something. You're like, oh, my God, it's a week away. It used to be months away. How did we get here? But times happens, man.

[Bowen Yang]

Also, I hate when the clock is. Starts so far from the thing.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God, I want a clock.

[Brian Frangie]

Give me.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah. It's like rent or whatever, but I don't know.

[Matt Rogers]

No time.

[Brian Frangie]

That's just a year. In minutes words, it's 575. 6.

[Matt Rogers]

I remember.

[Bowen Yang]

Is that how long someone lives.

[Nikki Glaser]

In.

[Bowen Yang]

The song, I thought that's how long you have age. I really.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, that's what they mean. That's what they mean.

[Matt Rogers]

That.

[Brian Frangie]

That's what they're saying.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, that's right.

[Brian Frangie]

We have so little time to live. We need to recognize that a year is just this many.

[Matt Rogers]

This is what Chris said to me, like, about Christmas, because we were talking about going back, and he's like, it's a bummer. I really wanted to go back with my family. He's like, you only get so many. He's like, you get, what, 50 Christmases with family in your life and then. Yeah, 87 Christmases, you know, total. And he's like, he.

[Bowen Yang]

When people do that, and I'm like.

[Matt Rogers]

That is like, 1 50th is a lot.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

2% of the Christmases with my family is squandered this week because of flu.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. But, you know, it's not good to think of things like that if we constantly. I mean. Yeah. I don't. I don't like that either. Where it's. I don't like reminding you. Remember you used to, like. Like this. That. That chart with the dots on it.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't like that chart. I just think it's fascinating.

[Brian Frangie]

It's fascinating. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Terrifying. I don't want to talk about that chart, actually. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

It doesn't help me to look at that.

[Matt Rogers]

The chart that has one dot for each week of your life, and then you look and it's way less dots than you would think.

[Bowen Yang]

That's terrible.

[Matt Rogers]

You would think it would be a wall of dots, but it is like a postcard of dots.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

You know what? I hate it. It's so small.

[Bowen Yang]

The nineteen weeks. 1995 is closer to 1940 than it is to 2020. I ha.

[Matt Rogers]

Hate when people are accomplishing things in their 20s and you're like, oh, my. Like, you just think about what you were doing at that time. And I know that I'm an accomplished person, and you could say, oh. But it just. There are still times when it's like someone hosts SNL when they're 23, and they still. They have, like, a body of work.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And they've. Sabrina Carpenter is, like, 27, has, like, six albums. And, like, I'm just like, how have. And you. You're not even in your 30s yet. You haven't even been like, I am old and I'm 30 yet. And it's like, God, fuck you. Why? It makes me so upset.

[Bowen Yang]

I also hate when people are like, he finished med school. At 58, it's like, quit already, you fucking dick.

[Matt Rogers]

And I don't really appreciate those things that are like, listen, so and so didn't get started on their dissertation till they were 38. I'm like, well, I'm 40.

[Bowen Yang]

I missed the boat.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that doesn't help me.

[Bowen Yang]

Someone said the other day, like, I'm not going to get a facelift until I'm like 45. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, 44 next year. Holy.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I know I'm due.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. I mean, it's.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm. Do as. I. I can't. I'm sorry. To people who get. I've. I think I've said it on here before. If you're getting facial surgery in this business, you're lazy because you don't work hard enough. If you, if you have time to get a surgery and recover from it, you're not working. You. I do not have time for it. I work hard enough that I am in. I have things to do where I have to be on camera. I have to work. I have to show up. I don't get to take off a week or two to have drains in my face and sleep, you know, on my back.

[Brian Frangie]

What are you talking about?

[Matt Rogers]

A facelift. A.

[Brian Frangie]

What does that do?

[Matt Rogers]

Bbl.

[Bowen Yang]

A facelift.

[Brian Frangie]

Bbl? Are you kidding me?

[Matt Rogers]

A facelift. Facelift.

[Brian Frangie]

This makes.

[Bowen Yang]

Pulls. Pulls everything back.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, but that.

[Bowen Yang]

And then you get the scars right here.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, but I don't have time to do this. Yeah. Yeah. They look amazing.

[Bowen Yang]

My mom got one. It was crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

What do you mean your mom got one? Like in, you know, 25 years ago, probably 30 years ago, when it was like a different deal. We'll talk about when we get back. We have to go to break.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Matt Rogers]

I could catch anything sitting in this doctor's waiting room. A kid just wiped his runny nose on my jacket and the guy next.

[Nikki Glaser]

To me sitting in a pool of perspiration insists on sharing my armrest. Next time, make an appointment with an Amazon One medical provider. There's no waiting and no sweaty guy. Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, such a clutch off season pickup Dave.

[Nikki Glaser]

I know, right? I was worried we'd bring back the same team.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, no. I meant those Blackout motorized shades.

[Nikki Glaser]

MVP of the room. Blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds.

[Matt Rogers]

Hard to install?

[Nikki Glaser]

No, it's easy. Even you could do it. Nice. I installed these and then got some for my mom too.

[Brian Frangie]

You fly across the country to do the install?

[Nikki Glaser]

Nope. Blinds.com can do it all. All she had to do was pick what she wanted. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install. Look at you.

[Brian Frangie]

Hall of fame, son.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh, I just picked the winning team. They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh.

[Nikki Glaser]

Blinds.com is the goat. The goat.

[Matt Rogers]

Shop blinds.com right now and get up to 45% off select styles, plus a professional measure and a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Save up to [e-mail] blinds.com rules and restrictions may apply. Yeah, your mom got a facelift back when they were still kind of experimental almost.

[Bowen Yang]

But she looks like I even got a. My grandma, her mom got a face like I come from a long line of facelift.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, I'm doing it for sure.

[Bowen Yang]

But it's crazy when they like get the surgery, they really look like monsters.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

You look in the room, I go into her room and she'd just be.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, yeah, I think I'm getting my mom a facelift.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, really?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I, I, she's, she's letting me because she Was, you know, there's just some things that I'm like, mom, like, there's fixes for this.

[Brian Frangie]

Like when people get facelifts, I always imagine, I always see them.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm kidding.

[Brian Frangie]

A picture of someone who got a facelift that actually looks good.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

And while you're looking that up, I'll say there was this influencer on Instagram who I don't follow anymore because they're making me so mad because of how much success they're having. Just a random influencer. And they were like, me and my husband just bought a. Our cabin upstate and she's 24, she has a, she has an apartment in New York and then she had a cabin upstate. And I'm like, you're 24. And it just made me so mad. Mad.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. That's upsetting.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, social media has expedited everything.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

With that kind of stuff, especially if.

[Brian Frangie]

You'Re in your 20s.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, back in the day it was like, literally there was like five 23 year olds that could do that.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, yeah. There was like Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Yeah. And his older brother. Yeah. No, it's.

[Brian Frangie]

I think, I really do think that Silicon Valley and, and social media and disruptors have done more damage to society than like the oil industry industry. Oh, they've destroyed our society.

[Bowen Yang]

What do you think about TikTok being removed on the 19th?

[Matt Rogers]

Wait, what? Really?

[Brian Frangie]

Well, you haven't heard about Trump is on the 19th. Yeah. That's the last.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Is it really?

[Brian Frangie]

It's really rolling towards that conclusion. But even though Trump said he's going to intervene because he likes that. Tick tock. But I don't think he's going to do anything. I don't think he's going to be able to pull it off. I don't think he's going to put together the correct people to actually stop this from happening.

[Matt Rogers]

I can't find the facelift thing, but I'll show you an example.

[Bowen Yang]

I love when Trump talks about it because he goes, his whole reason for TikTok staying is because he did good numbers. It has nothing to do with like.

[Matt Rogers]

Who'S surprised by that?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I'm not.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, everything he does is from a place of. Does it benefit him? And it will never not be that way. It's anyone who is surprised by that. You're a moron.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

It's the way he is. Accept it. I have accepted it. He only operates from a place of. Of me, me, me. And that's why if I ever come into contact with Him. I'll just tell him he's really hot and I love him.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, of course.

[Matt Rogers]

And it'll. Everything will be okay for me.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And everyone will be fine. You just, just. It's really a good thing that someone is so susceptible to just flattery. It's like. It's a good thing for a.

[Brian Frangie]

Good or bad.

[Matt Rogers]

No, it's obviously horrible, but I'm trying to see the, the benefits of it. But anyone who is under the. I don't even think he would want you to be the illusion that he cares about you.

[Brian Frangie]

Right. Anymore.

[Matt Rogers]

I think I'm not saying anything crazy here. To say that he doesn't care about literally anyone but himself. That is.

[Brian Frangie]

There's just no way thinks that everyone's the same way. Everyone else is just thinking about themselves too. So why would he think about others?

[Matt Rogers]

I could see that. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Speaking of Trump. So you were in.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm not even mad about it.

[Brian Frangie]

You were in New York doing million press thing. I don't think we talked about that yet.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

To the top of the Empire State Building and then you did a video lip syncing video.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Brian Frangie]

And it was shared. It was a joint post with the Empire State Building.

[Matt Rogers]

The Empire State Building is a press tour stop now. For like what? We're on the way there. No offense Empire State and the social media team, but I was like, it was a really long day. I had just gotten done doing literally 17 interviews with affiliates where you just sit down and then they go, okay, Nikki, we're patching you through to Sacramento. Five minute interview with the newspaper team there. Now to St. Louis, now to Philadelphia, now to Chicago, now to Arizona, now to LA, now to New York. Literally 17 in a row for two and a half hours. Then a photo shoot with New York Times. Before that it was the V, it was Kelly and Mark. And then before that it was Gayle King. This was all in one morning. It's like, now that was crazy. Now it's 1:30 and I have to go to the Empire State Building. And it was sick.

[Bowen Yang]

Now it's time for you to jump off the building.

[Matt Rogers]

I literally said that I go next, we're going to the Empire State. I'm jumping, jumping off and.

[Bowen Yang]

And then you're gonna live.

[Matt Rogers]

But we're on the way there and I said to my publicist in the backseat, I go, this was something I probably should have said no to. Right? And she goes, no, no, this is like a big press stop. And you go in, it's like every famous person has been there. Final thought. The Empire State is like the new car city.

[Brian Frangie]

Whoa. Well, it has about a million followers.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, you go there, you. You take a tour. You go, go up. The press team is so good. They keep you in this, like, amazing green room with all these snacks and stuff, and then they bring you up and then you shoot a video of you, like, sitting with the. Like, the statues. You sit. You do up. I. So I'm. There's like a model of the Empire State building on the ground floor. And you, like, stand there and you. They're like, oh, this is a photo op. So I go to stand there. I have no idea. I think it's just gonna be like their social media team taking a picture. Maybe one for photographer. There's like 15 photographers that are all there going, I've never seen it. It's like, I've done the Emmy red carpet. I've done, you know, critics choice. I've done so many red carpets. Nothing has ever been this intense of like, I was. I literally. There's a picture of me going, what's happening? Because I thought. I thought bts like a K pop band was behind me. It was that insane. But they were all there just to make a picture of me. And I'm like, this is a waste of their time. But it was so nice because I'm just like, who am. Like, who cares about star power goes.

[Brian Frangie]

A little further in New York than it does here?

[Matt Rogers]

I guess so. But I was. I truly. Because I was not planned for it. And I'm looking over my publicist, like, what's happening? Like, is this a bigger thing than I know about? Like, it was Nikki over here.

[Bowen Yang]

Was it old timey camera?

[Matt Rogers]

It looks like. It looks like a.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what I mean?

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

But it felt. It felt like I was in a movie. It felt like I was in Notting Hill.

[Bowen Yang]

I love the Chrysler building being Ed McMahon.

[Brian Frangie]

Like, you just walked out of a courthouse defending Boo Radley. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. It was a perp walk.

[Matt Rogers]

I wish they. That some of the pictures, because there's definitely pictures of me going, what's happened? Like, looking behind me. Because I don't. I'm so clueless. I'm like, are other people coming to this? Because why would all these people be here for me? But it's. It wasn't about me. It's just like they all get called every day when there's a celebrity there. So it's like the same people. And then some of the photographers call.

[Brian Frangie]

Like, can you move?

[Matt Rogers]

We're trying to get right. Yeah. They really.

[Brian Frangie]

The celebrity at the Empire State Building.

[Matt Rogers]

I've never seen anything like it. And then I walk off, and I'm like, someone. Could someone have told me that was like, I had no. What? They're like, yeah, well, it's a press op or whatever it's called. I go, but I've never done anything that was insane.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And then we go up and that. You walk down a hall, and there's all these pictures of every celebrity you. You've ever heard of. It's like, plan the modern era. In the modern era, like, Johnny Carson went, you know, like, everyone. No, in the modern era, it's like they have made a huge effort to be like, this is a.

[Brian Frangie]

Why?

[Matt Rogers]

I don't know.

[Brian Frangie]

What does the Empire State Building need from us?

[Bowen Yang]

They make so much money off tourism. So it's like I went.

[Matt Rogers]

I am, like, rushing past hordes of people that are there to see it. So it's like all these people tourists, and they're, like, coming through, and they're, like, making room for me. And, like, I'm getting in the elevator before all these people cutting in line. Like, you kind of feel like an. The whole time. And then you go up to the 102nd floor, and then they're like, you have to sign a waiver if you want to go the 103rd floor. That's only for, like, celebrities and press ops. So I get to go to the highest observation deck in the western hemisphere. Whoa. I don't even know what that means.

[Brian Frangie]

I mean, that's higher than, like, Sears.

[Matt Rogers]

Tower in the western hemisphere. So where's. Where is the hemisphere?

[Brian Frangie]

That's the. The Tropic of Cancer.

[Matt Rogers]

Where is it? Is it in the middle of the.

[Bowen Yang]

The western hemisphere landing? No.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, That's a good question.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, what. What observation deck is killing it on the other side? I want to know. Probably in Dubai.

[Brian Frangie]

Burj Khalifa or something. They don't have an observation deck, though. That's just, like, a big.

[Matt Rogers]

So I.

[Brian Frangie]

Big, sharp dick.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't like heights. And they keep asking, like, are you okay with heights? My makeup guy, like, couldn't go up because he's scared of heights. And I was like, oh, go. Like, you don't need to do this. I love. I love honoring people's anxieties. I'm like, no, this is. And he's like, what if you need a touch up? I'm like, I think I'll be okay. So he stays down there. We go all the way up. It is. And you can just jump off. I mean, like, there's. You had to sign a waiver because there's that you won't do anything squirrely because they wouldn't trust, like the public up there.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, you can jump off like in that. That one building that you referenced.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the. That's the one that they don't let you go up alone because so many people. So if you go with a person, they figure you won't commit suicide. But then a kid was with his family and did it. So then I think you can't even go up anymore. It's the one in Hudson Yards. It's like a. It's a really cool looking building. It looks like a beehive. If you want to Google. If you're like a morbid person, look up building in Hudson Yard. Suicide. Yeah, there's a lot of them. Anyway, so we go up and they told me Jared Leto dropped his phone off and his phone didn't break. His phone didn't break. It all went all the way down to the 90th floor.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

So it fl. If it fell onto 13 floors, that.

[Brian Frangie]

Would have went right through someone's skull down to. Through their pelvis.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. 12 seconds to someone's pelvis. Yeah. So is that his band?

[Bowen Yang]

12 seconds or something?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Drop a penny. If you drop a penny from that.

[Matt Rogers]

High, I know it can, like, go down your.

[Brian Frangie]

It's like. It's like a laser.

[Matt Rogers]

Happened that more though it has wind.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, no one holds pennies.

[Matt Rogers]

No, wind makes the penny not go. Totally. Yeah, that's.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, maybe the wind.

[Matt Rogers]

I think wind does affect it. Anyway, I'm up there and they're like, bullet. Emily came up with a great idea to like. Because they were tossing around their social media team was like, you want to film something? And we're going through all these, like, ideas. They pitched me the Gracie Abrams TikTok trend that I started to do.

[Bowen Yang]

They copied on SNL.

[Matt Rogers]

I know.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, like verbatim. Well, it's like a trend hallway.

[Matt Rogers]

It's a trend. No, so it's not copied. That's like what you do.

[Brian Frangie]

You started.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Trends are not copy wrote the song. It's so funny that I take any credit for a Gracie Abrams song I did not write. I just lip sync to.

[Brian Frangie]

TikTok has made plagiarism fun and acceptable.

[Matt Rogers]

No, it's fun to do trends. Like, it's.

[Bowen Yang]

It's not about the artist anymore.

[Matt Rogers]

It's. No, it's like, you know, you hope that you can create something sometimes original. But I like trends. I don't think it's copying at all. I was so, so flattered that that took off. And I wasn't like, why aren't people tagging me? It's not even my song. Like, if it were my song, I'd be like, why are people tagging me if you're not taking Gracie in that. That's weird. But, like, you looking in a mirror and then walking down a hall. I don't care. Yes, I know I started it, but it's. It's not. I don't really have a lot of.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think she'd ever be ownership. It wasn't for that day, but anyway.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, sure, sure.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And so she has no connection.

[Brian Frangie]

But what you did was awesome.

[Matt Rogers]

So. Yeah. So Emily. Because I was like, emily, we need to come up with a song. And I'm like, trying to think of. We're trying to think of New York.

[Brian Frangie]

Than her to come up.

[Matt Rogers]

She was like, what about Defying Gravity? And I'm like, oh, it's been done. It's like Wicked's like, late now. And then she's like, I don't know. It's like, it could work. And I'm like, oh. But then I'm on my way from the Today from, you know, all these press interviews, and we're going over there, and I'm like, trying to memorize Defying Gravity because I've, like. I, like, have listened to it a lot. But, like, that part that's like, what is it?

[Brian Frangie]

It was a great selection.

[Matt Rogers]

It's me.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

If you dare to d me. Look to the western sky. And it was a perfect.

[Bowen Yang]

She's on a cliff when she's doing it.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes. It was with wind and everything. And so we filmed it twice. We nailed it both times. But that was just the better one. And the guy that was filming it, the team there. Shout out to the Empire State Building social media team. This kid was walking backwards on this observation desk deck, 103 floors up. I, like, I was posing for pictures and I was just having to, like, just close my eyes until then I opened for the picture. Cause I was so nervous being up there. But it helps to have something to do because I. If you're focused on a performance, you can't be scared.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, it's so. It really made me realize, like, you know, I always talk about my feet don't hurt wearing shoes when I'm performing until I stop performing and then my feet will hurt. If you're performing, your other fears go away.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And you can do so, like, you know, talking to someone really famous on camera, doing a scene. Not scary. Second cameras go off. I'm. My teeth are chattering.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Because I'm so nervous talking this person.

[Brian Frangie]

When the camera's on, you both have an obligation to perform. And when the camera's off, there's the hierarchy resumes.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

It's up to you now. Are you going to be boring? Boring.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. That's why, like, people are like, Chris is always, like, after a show. Like, let's go hang out with all, like, if we'll go to, like, an award show. Like, I'm nominated for a Critics Choice Award, and. But I'm. They're not giving me out my award at the ceremony, and I'm like, I don't want to go if they're not giving out my, like, if I don't have a, like, chance to perform. Like, what's. He's like, just so you can just go and, like, meet people and mingle. And I'm like, I don't. That's not me. That's not. I'll be too nervous and I'll feel it's. Oh, you hit it. That.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, I did.

[Matt Rogers]

You did. You, like, actually, in my own way. You did. It was beautiful. Yeah. It just. I get more anxiety that way. Like, I just. That makes me uncomfortable to. If I'm there for a purpose, as soon as I get off stage, I want to, like, run away and go back to my, like, to being around people I'm comfortable with.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Even though I'm always so nice, having a good time when I meet famous people.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Um. Shout out to Anna Kendrick, who I sat next to at the Hollywood Reporter thing, and who is the only celebrity that I've ever met who's like, who. I said, we should be friends. And she was like. She. Well, she slid into my DMs after we met, and she was. Said really nice things. And then. Did I say this on the podcast already?

[Nikki Glaser]

No, I'm.

[Matt Rogers]

She.

[Nikki Glaser]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

So we met at the Hollywood Reporter thing. She was sitting next to me at my table. She was so nice. She told me that my show, like, got her through a hard time when she was. Not a hard time, but, like, just a time where she needed, like, comfort company. And I kept her company during a. Maybe a shoot she was on or she was somewhere where she was kind of isolated. And I don't know what show she was talking about, but I didn't even want to ask, because sometimes people, I think, just, like, conflate two things. And I didn't want to be like, well, that show wasn't on in that year. Like, I don't know what she was talking about, but I was so. It was so nice. And then she slid into my DMS afterwards. Yeah. Maybe she slid into my DMs afterwards to be like, hey, I'm sorry. Fangirled. I'm like, no, I'm sorry. I didn't. Fan girl. Like, I couldn't even tell you, like, all the things I love of yours. And then I was like, should we be friends? And she was like, ew, no. She wrote uno and let it sit, which is so funny. And then she obviously wrote, like, jk. Yes, for sure. And so that's a moment that a lot you. You have with celebrities in your DMs. Like, yeah. Or like, at a general meeting, you're like, we should actually be friends. And, like, let's, you know, maybe let's work on this project, but, like, let's be friends first. And it never happened.

[Brian Frangie]

No. The Hollywood hello.

[Matt Rogers]

It never. And I don't expect it to, But Anna Kendrick literally followed up that DM with inviting me to dinner a couple days later with her and her friends, and I couldn't go, but it was so nice. And, like, I was like, that is. That's awesome. That really made so hell.

[Brian Frangie]

Yana Kendrick's great.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, she is. She really is. And she's really funny. That. Ooh. No, after I said, should we be friends? Was so funny. And she was really funny in conversation, like, because I was talking to her before my speech at the Hollywood Reporter thing. I was like. I think most of my. I was like, I'm just gonna go there. I'm gonna talk about how fucking early it is. And she was like, oh, yeah, we're all wearing borrowed diamonds and it's 7:00am like, she had, like, funny things that she was like, if they really respected women, they would make this in the afternoon. Like, she had. She had funny lines. Like, I was like, can I use that? Like, she. I was like, she should. Yeah, she was. I.

[Bowen Yang]

That morning thing was great.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, thank you.

[Bowen Yang]

I just watched it, like, a couple. A couple days ago.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, thanks.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I mean, for. However you described it, it was no, like, from what I saw.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah. I thought it was a B minus when I got. No, a C minus.

[Bowen Yang]

Far from it.

[Matt Rogers]

Thank you so much. Okay, we're gonna. We're gonna be back with tomorrow's episode just after this but we have to go on this one. This one's done. Thank you guys for joining.

[Brian Frangie]

This one's it's over everybody. What are you doing here?

[Bowen Yang]

I got a horrible car wreck.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh. Oh, sorry.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh wait. We do to talk about how you got sick in Arkansas on the next episode of the three Laser podcast at the Country Song right after this. Don't be good Bye.

[Nikki Glaser]

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have supervision, enhanced hearing, extraordinary reflexes to be, dare we say, superhuman? Well, Roku's new Pro Series TV can't do any of that for you, but with a 4K screen, side firing speakers and a blazing fast refresh rate, it'll sure feel like it. Elevate your entertainment using all your favorite apps like Iheart and play all your music, radio and podcasts with the new Roku Pro series. Your senses aren't better. Your TV is you know more about the PayPal debit card than you did at the start of this podcast. You know that the PayPal debit card gives you the ability to pay everywhere. You know that you earn 5% cash back on a category of your choosing on up to $1,000 of monthly purchase purchases. And you know that you get to pick a new category every month. Apparel for back to school. Groceries for the holidays. Start earning 5% cash back with the PayPal debit card today. Don't just pay, PayPal terms apply. See PayPal app. This card is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. pursuant to license by MasterCard International, Inc.

[Matt Rogers]

Kroger brand products have the great taste you'll celebrate. That's why over 40 million people choose Kroger brand products, making them a true crowd pleaser and with quality guaranteed. You'll love your choice or get your money back. Score Kroger brand products with savings you can cheer for and great taste you can't resist. Kroger Fresh for everyone at David's Bridal.

[Nikki Glaser]

Love is in every stitch. From the initial sketch to the final details. Each style is designed with exquisite craftsmanship. Every wedding gown, bridesmaid look, prom dress and special occasion style in between features handcrafted details filled with love.

[Matt Rogers]

Come see the magic in person, book.

[Nikki Glaser]

An appointment and sign up for diamond loyalty to save 15% on your first purchase. Earn points towards special rewards and [e-mail].

[Matt Rogers]

This message comes from Greenlight.

[Nikki Glaser]

Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest.

[Matt Rogers]

With your guardrails in place.

[Nikki Glaser]

With Greenlight, you can send money to.

[Matt Rogers]

Kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance.

[Brian Frangie]

And keep an eye on what your.

[Matt Rogers]

Kids are spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building.

[Nikki Glaser]

Healthy financial habits together on Greenlight.

[Matt Rogers]

Get started risk [e-mail] iheartra.