#503 Clearing Up Rumors, The Middle & Brian At A Women's Book Event

Summary

The Nikki Glaser Podcast - Episode #503: Clearing Up Rumors, The Middle & Brian At A Women's Book Event

Release Date: January 23, 2025

In Episode #503 of The Nikki Glaser Podcast, hosted by Nikki Glaser alongside co-hosts Brian Frangie and Noah Avior, the trio delves into a myriad of topics ranging from creative struggles and social anxieties to personal relationships and pop culture satire. This episode offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the hosts' personal lives, professional challenges, and humorous takes on current events.

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1. Navigating Creative Blocks

The conversation kicks off with Noah Avior sharing his exploration of Anatomy of a Breakthrough, a book examining creative blocks. He introduces the concept of the "cliff paradox," where pushing through creative stagnation can yield greater creativity and productivity.

Noah Avior [03:01]: "It was this really interesting thing about... you actually generate more creative things and you create more of them."

Brian Frangie connects this to their experience preparing for the Golden Globes, emphasizing the necessity of persevering through mid-project doubts to achieve success.

Brian Frangie [18:16]: "Everything we're writing is terrible. Like, everything is terrible."

This segment underscores the importance of resilience in creative endeavors, illustrating how initial setbacks can lead to breakthroughs when persistence is maintained.

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2. Social Anxiety and Public Recognition

The hosts discuss the challenges of dealing with fame and public recognition, particularly the anxiety that comes with being recognized in everyday settings. Noah elaborates on his discomfort when encountering fans unexpectedly, highlighting the pressure to present oneself a certain way.

Noah Avior [43:10]: "I was sitting in business, and he offered me snacks, and I was like, I'm vegan. Can't have anything. He's like, we're gonna find something for you."

Brian shares his experience attending a women's book event, feeling out of place as the only man and receiving unexpected attention from attendees.

Brian Frangie [57:56]: "But this one time we were there and I was literally the only man there and I felt like I am not representing my gender."

These anecdotes illustrate the hosts' struggles with maintaining authenticity while navigating the expectations that come with public visibility.

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3. Personal Relationships and Dating Experiences

The episode features a candid discussion on the complexities of modern dating. Noah recounts his humorous yet awkward attempts at flirting, including an incident where he wrote his number on a banana and accidentally handed over the peel instead.

Noah Avior [70:59]: "I wrote my number on the banana skin... And I was like, look closely."

Brian and Noah also explore the dynamics of initiating conversations and the fine line between showing interest and appearing overly aggressive.

Brian Frangie [68:11]: "More men don't want women to be funny. They want them to be funny and..."

Noah Avior [68:16]: "...I think, it's too fast."

These exchanges highlight the awkwardness and learning curves involved in forming meaningful connections, emphasizing the need for balance and mutual understanding.

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4. Pop Culture and Sports Commentary

The hosts transition into a lighthearted discussion about recent football events, expressing their preferences and frustrations with various teams. Brian shares his disdain for Ohio State, critiquing the coach's demeanor and the team's dominance.

Brian Frangie [29:08]: "I hate Ohio State. I think the Ohio State coach looks like he is a mass murderer."

Noah contrasts his lack of interest in the team's success with concerns about a friend whose depression hinges on the Bills winning, revealing the deep emotional connections fans can develop with sports teams.

Noah Avior [32:20]: "They lost four Super Bowls in a row. In the 90s. That's... that's insane and unheard of."

The conversation underscores the pervasive influence of sports on personal and communal identities, as well as the emotional stakes involved for passionate fans.

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5. Mental Health and Existential Reflections

A significant portion of the episode delves into mental health, with Noah sharing a personal account of experiencing existential dread during a sleepless night. He discusses the overwhelming anxiety about mortality and the inevitability of loss, both personal and societal.

Noah Avior [37:24]: "I have to spend time with all the people that might be gone someday. Like, how could I ever turn down hanging out with my parents when there is... it's certain that they will be gone someday."

Brian offers support, relating it to therapeutic techniques, highlighting the importance of self-soothing and acceptance.

Brian Frangie [38:33]: "Yeah, that's like what they teach you to do. And you just did it naturally."

Additionally, the hosts touch upon postpartum depression and anxiety about the future, recognizing the universal struggle with fears of loss and the search for meaning.

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6. Navigating Fame and Neighborhood Dynamics

The discussion shifts to the challenges of living in public view, particularly within tight-knit communities where everyone's actions are scrutinized. Noah expresses his desire for privacy and the anxiety of moving into a neighborhood where gossip is rampant.

Noah Avior [46:18]: "I don't want people to collectively get together and whisper and think they're better than me."

Brian adds his perspective on small-town dynamics, explaining how local fame can influence community interactions and personal comfort.

Brian Frangie [49:54]: "Everyone's fucking hates this guy. I mean, he is, like. He does do some things, I guess, that are rude and mean."

This segment highlights the tension between maintaining personal authenticity and managing public perceptions, especially in environments where privacy is scarce.

---

Conclusion

Episode #503 of The Nikki Glaser Podcast offers a heartfelt and humorous exploration of the hosts' personal and professional lives. From tackling creative blocks and social anxieties to navigating the complexities of personal relationships and public recognition, Nikki, Brian, and Noah provide listeners with relatable insights and laughter. Their candid conversations underscore the universal challenges of balancing personal growth, mental health, and the pressures of fame, all delivered with Nikki Glaser's signature honesty and wit.

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Notable Quotes:

• Noah Avior [03:01]: "It was this really interesting thing about... you actually generate more creative things and you create more of them."
• Brian Frangie [18:16]: "Everything we're writing is terrible. Like, everything is terrible."
• Noah Avior [37:24]: "I have to spend time with all the people that might be gone someday. Like, how could I ever turn down hanging out with my parents when there is... it's certain that they will be gone someday."
• Noah Avior [43:10]: "I was sitting in business, and he offered me snacks, and I was like, I'm vegan. Can't have anything. He's like, we're gonna find something for you."
• Brian Frangie [29:08]: "I hate Ohio State. I think the Ohio State coach looks like he is a mass murderer."
• Noah Avior [70:59]: "I wrote my number on the banana skin... And I was like, look closely."

---

This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of Episode #503, providing a coherent and engaging overview for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Brian Frangie]

Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit.

[Nikki Glaser]

Service port in 90 plus days with device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required.

[Brian Frangie]

Card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[Nikki Glaser]

ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Noah Avior]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his.

[Nikki Glaser]

Daughter moves back in.

[Brian Frangie]

The last time you walked out that.

[Nikki Glaser]

Door, you look back at me and gave me a double bird.

[Noah Avior]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Nikki Glaser]

The wheels come off.

[Noah Avior]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults? Have you watched the news lately?

[Brian Frangie]

That's not a thing anymore.

[Nikki Glaser]

New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Noah Avior]

This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

[Nikki Glaser]

Save the date for your cordially invited.

[Noah Avior]

A hilarious new wedding comedy starring Will.

[Brian Frangie]

Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon.

[Noah Avior]

Chaos ensues when two weddings are accidentally booked on the same weekend at the same venue. Uh oh.

[Brian Frangie]

Will Ferrell plays the father of the.

[Noah Avior]

Bride and Reese Witherspoon is the sister of the other bride. And they go head to head to.

[Brian Frangie]

Make sure the ones they love get.

[Noah Avior]

Their special day together on screen. For the first time ever, it's Ferrell versus Witherspoon. Chaos comedy and alligator wrestling await you and invited watch January 30th on Prime Video. Spectrum Business knows that small business owners put in the work.

[Guest]

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[Noah Avior]

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[Guest]

Restrictions apply often not available in all areas.

[Noah Avior]

The Nikki Glaser Podcast.

[Guest]

Here'S Nikki.

[Noah Avior]

Hello, Here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast Here With Noah and Brian on this beautiful happy Tuesday in January. You're listening on Wednesday or whenever you're listening. Is it Tuesday?

[Brian Frangie]

Listening In a totally different month.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. You might be like just going back through old ones in a different year.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. It might be 2027. What's it like?

[Noah Avior]

Is it still there? Are we still here?

[Guest]

Are we alive?

[Brian Frangie]

What would be going through someone's life that they'd be jumping back like three years into? The Nikki Glaser podcast.

[Noah Avior]

They're a completionist.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, yeah.

[Noah Avior]

And they want to know everything. Maybe they're doing a article about me. Maybe something tragic happened to me and they're writing a biography and they want every little detail my life. And this would be a great way to chronicle it.

[Brian Frangie]

Wow.

[Noah Avior]

I.

[Brian Frangie]

So what do you want to say to that person?

[Noah Avior]

I just want to say stop looking. I would say try to get your hands. Do not. Please don't read any journals. You find. I was in a crazy state when I was writing those. And I tried to write in hieroglyphics as I wrote in. In a wingeding way that you would seriously ever know. Like, I try to like write so scribbly that like not even I could. Because it's not about like having it be legible. It's about just like getting the thoughts on paper, you know?

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

You know, so I try to make. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

I think Nikki killed herself because of bicycle bat wing.

[Noah Avior]

That could be. I could see myself. Yeah. If we were all like, there was no more electricity or gas and so we all had to ride bikes and had like bat wings on them, I would literally be like, I don't want to live anymore if I had to ride a bike.

[Guest]

Oh God.

[Noah Avior]

Same everywhere I go. Chris, this weekend got Uber Eats and the. We were really lazy. It's so cold in St. Louis. It's like one degree. It's zero right now. It feels like negative eight, but. And it's been like this for days and days. And Chris got Uber Eats this weekend from a place that is like very close to us. It's kind of one of those, like embarrassing ones. But, you know, that's what you pay for, like the convenience of it. And they keep sending people on bikes and they have to travel on not bike friendly roads, which, by the way, the city is not plowed at all. And there was a snowstorm here three weeks ago and it's still. And there it hasn't melted. So it's just like there are roads in the city that are just pure ice. And this. This girl at like one in the morning, is going to pick up a pizza and she has to travel 3 miles on bike down, like, real, like, almost on highways. I'm not even joking you. And then she picks it up and then has to travel like a bl to deliver it. Like, it was just. It's criminal. You should be able to choose. No, I don't want a bike messenger. I don't want to subject anyone to that. And then just like in la, you can choose that you don't want the robot, because sometimes I would have the robot deliver things.

[Brian Frangie]

Choose that. How do you choose?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, you opt out. It says, like, it's just a little box you can check of, like, opting out of automated delivery. It's. They phrase it in a way that's not like. It's not like, I don't like robots because then they'll turn on you. It's like, I don't. Like, we appreciate everything that they do.

[Brian Frangie]

For us and reviewed in the years to come. I mean, if you say something derogatory about robots now, you better watch out, because in 15 years, you're going to be on a list.

[Noah Avior]

Think of all the times you screamed at your devices, screamed at Siri, screamed at gps, screamed at, you know, Alexa for like, being like, huh, what could I do for you, Brian? And you're just like, shut up. I'm not talking to you. Like, I, I hate when they try to offer help and I'm not. I'm so mean. All my anger comes out towards machines.

[Brian Frangie]

There's a corollary to this. There is a time when, in like the 30s, when people were kind of just like, talking about communism and it, like, wasn't a big deal. It was just like, it was like a little offshoot of political speech.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

And people would talk about it, or they'd sign up for some list because of some newsletter. And then lo and behold, 15, 20 years later, the McCarthy trials happen. And anyone who did anything remotely related to communism was all of a sudden sent to jail.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. Like, if they, If a girl just went to a Communist party, like, meeting to, like, learn communism or whatever because she had a crush on a guy who was handing out flyers. Exactly. She would then be. Yeah. Part of what would happen to you if you were in the, like, were you excommunicated? Were you. You were tried, Right.

[Brian Frangie]

For a lot of people in Hollywood, they were excommunicated and tried business. Yeah. From the business that they would. They were not allowed to be in movies or make movies or write anything anymore. And some people in extreme cases were actually imprisoned.

[Noah Avior]

Dear God.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. That's why everything I write about Mr. T, you, the note, the other Mr. T is like, I'm just sarcastic in all of it. I just go, cool. What a cool thing. This guy's cool. I just say everything positive so that I could always have.

[Brian Frangie]

Because sarcasm is. I mean, you got to see some of the. Okay, so on the Internet, there is a lot of people that make jokes, right? I've been looking at these jokes, and so many of the comments people are people that just don't understand sarcasm.

[Noah Avior]

People don't get it anymore.

[Brian Frangie]

They don't get it.

[Noah Avior]

No.

[Brian Frangie]

So that's what you're doing is like, saving you. Because they won't get it.

[Noah Avior]

They don't get it. And the people that do get it, you know, like, I'm not talking to anyone. I'm not changing anyone's mind by, you know, pointing out anything about him. So to the people who get it, like, it's just. It's nice. You know what? I'm not trying to change minds. I'm trying to show support for my people who might be out there feeling the same way. Like, it's not all about, like, I'm using my platform to be, like, I'm going to make a difference. I know. I'm not. I don't care. I'm not trying to get people to, like, suddenly wake up. It's too late for that. I'm just trying to give some empathy to people who might be feeling a certain way and like, oh, cool. Okay. Just rewinding all of the Paris Agreement. Cool. What a cool move. The drill, baby, drill. That's a really cool thing to scream into a microphone. That is so insane to me.

[Brian Frangie]

That's a cool thing. That's pretty fun, though.

[Nikki Glaser]

Try it.

[Brian Frangie]

I mean, drill, baby, drill.

[Noah Avior]

It is catchy.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. So. And I'm. I'm. I'm also wearing sunglasses day on the podcast because my eyes are just, like, puffing out in a way I don't like. And if Melania can wear having a freak hat and look like a Dick Tracy villain at the inauguration, I can do this. I did call it out on my. On my. I didn't call it out. It's just like, I don't even blame her. The woman has definitely had work done. No one can. Would ever deny that, I don't think. I'm sure they would. She's, you know, drank a lot of water and gotten a lot of sleep lately, I guess, but she definitely that hat was a choice made at the 11th hour because the swelling wouldn't go down.

[Brian Frangie]

Wait, Melania.

[Noah Avior]

Are you kidding me?

[Brian Frangie]

I thought that was, like, a despicable me promo.

[Noah Avior]

I didn't realize that happened. So hilarious. It was. It was definitely. So I put on my story upper bleth her heart, because a blepharoplasty is called a bless, and a blepharoplasty is an upper eyelid job or an upper blepharoplasty. And so I wrote upper blether heart because those who know know. And if you don't know, I'd hope you Google it. My mom was like, I didn't know what that meant. And I'm like, so you just, like, were like, nikki's stupid and just misspelled something. Like, just Google bless and then you'll know the joke. And she's like, I didn't think about it that much, and I don't blame her. Anyway, so I just said, you know, obviously, Melania had an upper eye job, and it's not healed yet. Like, I. I'm gonna get one. No, no shade. Literal shade.

[Brian Frangie]

That's like when your eyelids. When you, like, want your eyelids to be wider open. They.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, they just. You know, your eyelid skin is very thin, and it gets baggier faster than everything else, and it starts to, like, kind of hood. Yeah. And so they just remove, like, centimeters of skin so that your eyelids go back to not looking. Not like you. They look like the way the amount of skin you had before.

[Brian Frangie]

You know, some people also just have really, like, they're. The opening is not, like. Can't stay open. It's not wide enough.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

And like, you need it. Like.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, because they wouldn't need to see. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

That's like getting a deviated septum getting a nose job.

[Brian Frangie]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

I'm not gonna out this person, but I don't know if they want this public. But I do know someone got that. Yeah, I think maybe I did. But I know someone who got it done, and this person loves it. It's great. They can see again.

[Guest]

What do you think?

[Noah Avior]

How beautiful they look.

[Brian Frangie]

Yes, they can.

[Guest]

What do you think about those articles that they put out about, like, celebrities getting plastic surgery and just, like, you know, like, just kind of, like, presuming what was done.

[Noah Avior]

Like, where they. Where doctors, like, chime in and say.

[Guest]

Well, yeah, there's this stuff on, like, social media or just, like, articles and stuff.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. Because I saw one about me. That's a glow up. Did you see it.

[Guest]

That's why I'm bringing it up because it's so wrong.

[Noah Avior]

Oh yeah. Did they say I had surgery?

[Guest]

They said that you had eye lift. But you've talked about it and a couple of weeks ago you were just saying how like people in Hollywood who get plastic surgery have too much time on their hands. Like you have no time for it.

[Noah Avior]

No, I haven't. I will. I'll tell you when I get whatever surgery. I promise you there is nothing I will do that I will not be honest about. I might do it after the fact because I just don't want people to like zero in on my recovery and like track it. Like that's annoying. But I. I'll definitely let everyone know. I don't think there's any shame in it. It's like getting your hair done. Like I. Or died. I don't, I don't care. So that I saw one kind of pop up on my Explore page of like, look at the glow up. And it showed me from my special perfect. Which I think I shot when I was 29 or 30. And then now. And then it showed, I think the, the. Yeah, the Golden Globes and quite a glow up. But I will say it's lasers, it's botox, it's filler and it's. And that's it. That's it.

[Brian Frangie]

Tell me more about these lasers.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, I'm getting one done tomorrow actually. I'm getting the Moxie bbl. It might be. Oh, I just have that. You're gonna love it.

[Brian Frangie]

Yes.

[Noah Avior]

It was like five days to a week of like your skin looking kind of crazy.

[Guest]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Isn't it bbl? A Brazilian butler.

[Noah Avior]

That's what I thought. My lady, Jen Jo Jones at the Method in Webster.

[Brian Frangie]

Jenny Jones.

[Noah Avior]

Jenny Jones and at the Method.

[Brian Frangie]

She's doing that.

[Guest]

That's where she is now.

[Noah Avior]

She sold me. Yeah, she's daytime talk show host and I'm doing stand up comedian.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, she was on your face. Yeah, yeah.

[Noah Avior]

And so I used to. My. One of my first jokes was that I was gonna get. I had a flat ass and I looked into butt implants and they're really expensive, but breast implants are really cheap. So I'm just gonna get some tits put in my ass. That was pretty good. But no. Yeah, it's like. It's called a Moxie bbl. That's the thing I'm going to do next week. I've never done it before. Before this I've done. I've done the. What's it called Micro. Micro Needling, where they, like, rub in your own blood that they spin around in a machine where they get like. So I've done that, and then I've done Morpheus 8. I've done like, two times. I think you need to do it, like four or five to get the full effect. But I just kind of, like, dropped off. I don't know. There's no rhyme or rhythm to anything I do. All I know is that I just trust people who recommend things. And this was the thing that she recommended. There's another thing I'm gonna do that I forget the name of. But I'll tell you what I do when I get it. But the Moxie BBL is supposed to be really good, but I need a week of recovery. So, yeah, I'm getting it tomorrow. And then I'm not on the road for a week. It's. It's amazing that I'm. I have time to do it because usually I would. I would not, but. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Have you been on the road all month?

[Noah Avior]

No, not at all.

[Brian Frangie]

You've just been off. How's that feeling?

[Noah Avior]

Not good. You know what I have to say, like, after the Golden Globes, I felt so sharp when it came to joke writing. I was so zippy. I was so quick. Like, even in conversation, I was just tagging, you know, like, if you work it, you work it. Like, I was so. I was so good at joke writing. And I feel like. I wish that I would have had, like, someone plan assignments for me every day or something just to keep that muscle going, you know, like, to keep that strength up. And I think it's not lost. I mean, there'll be muscle memory. I gained stuff from working so hard on the Golden Globes and being in those. In that room with you guys and. And just learning so much and just having the bar raised in terms of, like, if you want to be heard, you got to be funny, you know, like, you gotta.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, everything's a muscle. I mean, you think like, oh, if I don't play guitar or piano, you. You. Everyone knows that you. When you come back to it, you're not as good. But it's saying the same thing is true of writing, right? Like, sitting down and writing. You have to practice and do. And then you get better at it and you improve at it. And as you practice it, I'm reading.

[Noah Avior]

This book called the Rusty, called the Breakthrough. Wait, what is it called? Let me look at it really quick. And by the way, I'm reading a third of it. You Guys know anatomy of a breakthrough, and it's about feeling blocked creatively or whatever it is in whatever you do. And I'm right at the beginning of it, where it's kind of talking about all the studies that have been done on people who get blocked and where motivation kind of comes from. And they were doing this really interesting thing about. They actually did a study on comedians where comedians think that once it gets. We always just quit once it gets tough. If we're in a creative endeavor, you're working on a joke, you're working on a song, you're working on a script. Like, you work for a few hours and then you're like at a block and you're like, you. You would predict as a comedian, as a writer, that if you continued working three more hours, that the. The stuff you would come up in that three hours after you've kind of already are like, you got all of it out right the first three hours. And now you're like, you've hit a wall. If you kept going for three more hours, you would predict a downgrade of the material, of the. Of the amount and of the substance of it. But you would be wrong. That studies show that the back end after it's hard, you actually generate more creative things and you create more of them. And so there's this. It's. It's called the cliff paradox or like something about the. Like something about the cliff. The creative. The illusion of the cliff, where it's like, you think that once you reach the edge of where it's easy, that there's gonna be a drop off, but it's an illusion and there's actually much more to be gained once it gets hard. And we use that in all. We can use that in all aspects of our life. So I'm just getting the information right now, and then it's gonna teach me how to like, break through those things. But I already use one thing in a Pilates class because it was talking about how no matter if you're a rat in a maze or if you're a person running a race, or if you're a girl in a Pilates class, or if you're doing something that is required, you know, you're working towards the Golden Globes, whatever it is, you, at the start of it, you will work really diligently and really fast and really efficiently. And then in the middle, you will slag and you will get bogged down and you will produce less good work and less work. And then in the end, when you can see the finish, you will ramp it up again, and you will do better. You'll run faster at the end of the race. You'll run faster at the beginning of the race. In the middle of the race, you're going to be not good. And it just. For any type of activity, the middle always is the worst spot for people, and they just do the worst. And so to beat that, you're supposed to break up everything into smaller pieces so that you're constantly at a beginning and an end. So yesterday in Pilates class, I just broke it all into five minutes. And even that was almost too much because I was, like, dying at the third minute or whatever. I was just like, I just need. Pretend that you get to quit after five minutes in the class. It's a. You're just trying to get to that five on the clock now. You're just trying to get to that 10. And it really made it. There was. It wasn't like a miraculous thing, but it did make it more interesting and surmountable for me than just having that, like, oh, my God. When you're at 10 minutes, that class, and you got to get to 50, it just seems like, what's. What's the point? It just. It's forever. And sometimes I go, don't look at the clock, Nikki. See how long you can go without looking at the clock. That's like a way trick myself. And then I look at the clock. It's 12 minutes. It's like. And I think it's been, you know, 22. So I'm learning things through this. Is it going to, you know, change the way I do everything? I hope so, but.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, that exact thing happened on the Golden Globes. Do you remember, like, three weeks in when we were like, oh, my God, we've got nothing. Everything we're writing is terrible. Like, everything is terrible.

[Noah Avior]

Think of anything. We were out of. We were like, there's nothing else to be written about Wicked. There's nothing.

[Brian Frangie]

Nothing. And we were literally like, what? Who needs to be hired? Like, what did we do wrong here that we can't come up with anything at all for, like, a full week? We couldn't come up with anything.

[Noah Avior]

We were like. I was wor. There was a time I was worried where I was like, I don't know. I have the best people working for me possible, and we aren't there. Like, it's not. This monologue is not popping. And I felt that way about almost every kind of endeavor I've had of where it's like, you in the middle. You just go, what is this? This is gonna be horrible. And. And I just have to remember that's. That's going to happen every single time. Yeah, you have to fight through it.

[Brian Frangie]

It's very rare that you get a really solid middle and then like the beginning and ends are bad. No, you start bad and then all of a sudden it's amazing and then it's bad again.

[Noah Avior]

Well, if you could always just imagine it being the end. Like, I've talked about this a million times on the podcast. I'm sorry, but it's the most interesting thing I've ever heard in my life. So I'm so sorry, but everyone just needs to remember it. When that there was a woman who had a brain accident, like an accident where a part of her brain was injured and it was a part of her brain that was short term memory. So her memories started over all the time. And after her ex, she used to run races before this and she was fine. And then after her accident where she lost her short term memory, she was doing ultra marathons and winning them because she wasn't. She didn't know where she was in the race. So she was always at the beginning of the race where she. So it's all mental. Like your tiredness in the middle of the race is because you know you're in the middle. It's not because you actually are tired. I mean, yes, it is, but it's because everything is mental. If you can trick yourself into being like this is the beginning, it's that that's such an important thing to remember because it's. We just think that we're tired because of how long we've been going. We see that time on the clock or we see how long we have left. And you can trick your brain into thinking things.

[Brian Frangie]

That was proven by the original marathon. Like you can literally run yourself to death. Like there's no limit to how much you can run. Yeah, like the original guy who ran the marathon died at the end of it after he Trojans were coming or whatever.

[Noah Avior]

They talk about in the book how this one girl was finishing a marathon and she was like, you know, I think you've probably seen the clip, we've all seen it, where she's approaching the finish line and her legs just start wobbling out from under her. She's like leading, you know, and then someone comes and helps her and she's able to finish, but it. Her body was fine. And she said earlier they talk about her in it. And they say earlier on in the race, she was like, really far ahead. She saw her dad and he was like, you're first by this much. And she was like, oh, my God. And she's like, I don't need water. I'm fine. It was a really hot day. She just wasn't feeling. And she was like, I just want to keep this lead. So she didn't get water. As soon as her mind saw the finish line, her body was like, we're done. Like, it almost like her mind, her mind thought that she was at the finish. It didn't. It wasn't smart enough because it didn't have enough water and energy to go. You still have to do more. It just thought it was done and so it collapsed. That's why people collapse when they finish, right? It's because they're done. It's not because that's when they were supposed to collapse.

[Brian Frangie]

It's like when you have to take a dump.

[Noah Avior]

Well, I was driving home and you.

[Brian Frangie]

Have a car and you're like, oh, my God, I could hold it in for 10 years.

[Guest]

Yes, yes.

[Brian Frangie]

And then all of a sudden you're like, around the corner, your house and you. Your pants.

[Noah Avior]

This is why meditation is important, because that's where you learn to control your thoughts and control your brain and have a little bit more of, like, being able to steer up there. Okay, we got to go to break. I'll be back after this. We'll be back.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Guest]

I could catch anything sitting in this doctor's waiting room.

[Noah Avior]

A kid just wiped his runny nose on my jacket, and the guy next.

[Guest]

To me sitting in a pool of perspiration insists on sharing my armrest.

[Nikki Glaser]

Next time, make an appointment with an Amazon One Medical provider. There's no waiting and no sweaty guy. Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Noah Avior]

How was everyone's weekends?

[Brian Frangie]

Well, I want to bring up this tweet because we were talking about people not getting sarcasm, and there was this amazing tweet over the weekend. People are watching the inauguration, and obviously a lot of people are making jokes about it online. Ginny Hogan. You heard of Ginny Hogan?

[Noah Avior]

Oh, I love her.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, she's so funny.

[Noah Avior]

I subscribe to her substack, I think.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, so she's great. During the inauguration, she tweets out, thank God Biden isn't alive to see this, which is so funny. And because obviously he is alive and it's a joke.

[Noah Avior]

Dude, It's. Oh, my God, I can't even.

[Brian Frangie]

Okay, so then someone responds to this. I assume you mean Carter, as in Jimmy Carter who just died recently.

[Guest]

Oh, boy.

[Brian Frangie]

And then she. She responds to that, I said I did not. Please, no comments. Which is also hilarious. And then the original person responds to that. Well, turn off comments if you don't want pushback. Otherwise people will keep pointing out your stupidity.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. And. And another person agrees with the dumb person and says, she's a teacher. That explains the stupidity.

[Noah Avior]

What?

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, it's like people are the people that are commenting on that are agreeing with the dumb person who does not get the joke.

[Noah Avior]

But what is the argument that teachers are dumb?

[Brian Frangie]

It's like. I mean, that's just That. I mean, that's been a thing.

[Noah Avior]

So sad, dude.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. Ever since they started letting trans people teach your kids. All the republic think that teachers are evil.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, dear God. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's a lot of that online.

[Brian Frangie]

How do you not get that joke? I mean. Well, the Republicans, out of all the people, have been making the most jokes about how Biden is actually a Weekend at Bernie's.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

And then when they see one in the wild, they go, what the fuck are you. Must mean Jimmy Carter.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, God. How many people do you think Tim Dillon's. Of Tim Dillon's audience take him so seriously? This is where it's like 80% percent. Oh, God, that makes me nervous. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

No, no, it's probably. Probably like 20 to. Realistically, it's probably like 20 of people who don't understand that it's. That it's like a joke. Yeah. That it's. Well, it's. That it's. It's exaggerated difference.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. His. His clip about the fires was so insane. Right.

[Guest]

Everything he's saying.

[Noah Avior]

Did you see the clip, though, where he's, like, doing the voice of the woman talking about her house and, like, just like. And then he's, you know, he's just talking about this. You have to. I can't. I literally can't repeat it because it's like, it scares me so much of, like, the fallout. And then he goes, this is probably the. He's making fun of this woman kind of, you know, and then he goes, this is probably the president of CAA's wife. And they. Yeah, just get an email. You've been dropped. And he goes, who cares? And the clip cuts out. It made me laugh so hard. Just like.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, just.

[Noah Avior]

He doesn't give a fuck.

[Brian Frangie]

He's crushing the fire, rushing. He's like, the only one that's able to make the fires funny on the Internet. And he's going around saying that his house burned down and that his family's dead, which is just telling people that. He also donated a lot of money to the. To the fire, to the eat.

[Noah Avior]

Of course. He has the biggest heart. Yeah, yeah, it's. God, it's funny. Yeah. People don't get things. I'm still getting hate about God and throwing God out of the bus. I guess that that is still circulating.

[Brian Frangie]

That's still happening. Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Parts of the world.

[Brian Frangie]

It really is. It's a worldwide phenomenon. The only place in the world where it's not happening is America.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. They seem to be on board.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. And maybe Even Europe, they got that joke. I think it's literally just, you know, South America and Southeast Asia. I mean, it's. It didn't really spread, like, you know, Catholicism did.

[Noah Avior]

Did you watch a lot of football this weekend? I'm guessing.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, hell, yeah. Of course I did.

[Noah Avior]

I. I was watching my phone a lot next to football. It was on a lot. There was so much football this weekend.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, lots of playoff games. Lots of really solid games. There's also the college football championship.

[Noah Avior]

I watched that last night. Yes. Yep. Oh, God. You wanted Notre Dame to win.

[Brian Frangie]

I just wanted Ohio State to lose. I hate Ohio State. I think the Ohio State coach looks like he is a mass murderer. I think the quarterback is a true.

[Noah Avior]

Been wearing Melania's hat, if you know what I'm saying. Just go Google it.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, he's a true bully, I think. I mean.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, really?

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. And also, I just. I hate the stuff he does. He, like. There's one point where he, like, did a running play and then looked at the sideline and, like, winked. And I was like, this guy is pure evil. Like, he's pure.

[Noah Avior]

Did you learn from Riverdale street crying after the game?

[Brian Frangie]

No, because he loves that coach.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, well, Chris was commenting that he was making it like, these boys have been through hell and back because they lost, like, one game. Like, they lost a game to Michigan or something. And so, like, the whole story now is like. But they've. They've. They've won a lot of, like, they've been to the playoffs a lot. Like, they. They were national champions not that long ago. And it's like this, the whole narrative, whenever someone wins, something has to be like, they've been through hell. It's like, been through. These boys have been through hell.

[Brian Frangie]

They're perennial playoff contenders. They won the champions ago.

[Noah Avior]

The town they live in, Ohio State.

[Brian Frangie]

Is, like, always has all the best players, except for maybe Alabama and Georgia, and they're always in the top four if there's. There's no adversity at all here. And here's the hell. Michigan defeated them.

[Noah Avior]

Hell, was there a natural disaster on campus?

[Brian Frangie]

Well, they live in Columbus.

[Noah Avior]

Okay, all right.

[Brian Frangie]

Shit on Columbus.

[Noah Avior]

Joke.

[Brian Frangie]

So there was a. Michigan defeated Ohio State back in the regular season. It didn't matter. I mean, it could have, I guess, knocked them out of the playoffs, but.

[Noah Avior]

It'S never going to matter what they're saying when they've been through hell and back. Like, give me a fucking break.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, so there's this. There is a tradition where if you defeat A rival, an important rival on their home turf. Then you can take your team's flag and plant it at midfield on the logo. That happens across college football.

[Noah Avior]

And many different rivalries happen in Ohio.

[Brian Frangie]

That's right. So the Michigan players defeat Ohio State. A huge upset, and they're running the flag out to plant it. And the Ohio State players literally started fighting them where a lot of them got like, you know, penalties and suspension.

[Noah Avior]

This is after the game thinking football stupid. I think I'm back. I think I. I was there for a year. I liked it for a year. And I'm back to thinking it's a waste of everyone's time. And I don't. Like. I just.

[Brian Frangie]

Because of. Because Ohio State won. That's why. That's what happens.

[Noah Avior]

No, I don't think it's that. It's just like, I. Yeah. I don't want men crying about men who have been through hell. And it's just like, I just. I don't know. I. It just all seems. These guys are getting laid. Chris, last night was like, isn't it weird that there's like a baby that's going to be born in nine months because these guys won tonight? Like, there's going. There's children that are conceived tonight because of the happy. Like, I like when teams are happy. Like, I'm rooting for the bills 100% because my friend who is a depressed person loves the Bills and I feel like it literally will cure his depression if the Bills win. It's like I've never cared more about a team winning anything.

[Brian Frangie]

Then I got a friend like that, too. I think about the Bills.

[Noah Avior]

I think it's a whole city of Buffalo.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Is suffering with a depression that will be cured. They deserve it. I want the Bills to win so bad.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

I'm going to listen. They. They've sure they can have it, but like, they. It's, you know.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, they're like the evil villain of the league now. Nobody wants the Chiefs to really. People in Kansas City, you just don't want to see someone win that many times.

[Noah Avior]

Right.

[Brian Frangie]

They're going for a three peat, which is exciting in and of itself.

[Noah Avior]

Never been done.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, but it's just like when Tom Brady was on the Patriots. It's just like I'm sick and tired of them winning and the way they win is so boring every single time. It's just like a grind out. Like they always win by like two or three points because they do. It's like, it's like you think like they know they could turn it on and, like, crush the team, but they decide not to because they'd rather just make it boring.

[Noah Avior]

I want to see my girl on the field. Kissinger, her man. I'd like to see that. That's a fun picture. It's a fun moment. So I like that. But, yeah, I. My friend who has struggles with life, I would like. It's much more important for him to be happy this year than. Than Taylor Swift, who has a lot. I will only want good things for her and Travis, but I think they can weather this year more than my friend who needs the Bills to win desperately.

[Brian Frangie]

If the Chiefs win the super bowl again. Yeah, I believe. Seriously, Travis Kelsey might retire. I mean, how could you not after winning three Super Bowls in a row? Where could you go from there? Fourth. Doesn't even matter at that point.

[Noah Avior]

Okay. Yeah. I mean, all I'm saying is I'm looking forward to football season being over.

[Guest]

Yeah, you are going to the Super Bowl. You said.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, I am going to the Super Bowl. I'm doing a thing that got me an invite to the Super Bowl. I can't say what the thing is. I don't think not.

[Guest]

Well, you're going to be on Bert Kreischer's skin.

[Noah Avior]

That's not the thing that didn't get me an invite, but something else I'm doing. It got me an invite to it, so I'm going, but I don't know what I'm going to wear yet because I don't know who's in it. And I'm making my whole outfit based on, like, the team. So I'm hoping that I get to borrow my depressed friend's clothing and wear, like, a oversized cool jacket or something, but I don't know what the weather will be in New Orleans anyway.

[Brian Frangie]

Bills thing. Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Like a bill.

[Brian Frangie]

Like, anticipating that the Bills will be there.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. Like, I'm hoping.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

That means they'd have to defeat the Chiefs next week.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, I'm okay with that. Like I said, I care about Travis's happiness. I love Patrick Mahomes. I love his mom, Randy. I love. I love the. I love Kansas City. I love Taylor. But they all. I just care about this friend who really needs this right now. I think it's the only thing that can lift him out. They won the other night, and everyone who saw him all weekend said he was the happiest they've ever seen him. It literally can change lives, and I think that that town needs it. And I love Buffalo, and they Need. And they're. You know, are these the guys that, like. Are the Bills the ones that jump off of the top of things and onto tables, or is it the Eagles?

[Brian Frangie]

That's the Bills, yeah.

[Noah Avior]

They need this. They lost.

[Brian Frangie]

They lost four Super Bowls in a row. In the 90s.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, in the 90s in a row. That's. That's insane and unheard of. I can't believe I didn't hear about it sooner than two nights ago when you told me. Anyway, went to a game. We went to go watch at Chris's house last night or at Chris's brother's house, and my parents came over. Chris's parents were there, kids were there. And my Chris's niece Catherine has become obsessed with my Gracie Abrams walk down the hall viral video thing that I did on TikTok. That kind of became a trend. And she was playing it, and she was too scared to ask, so she had her. She was whispering to her mom, and her mom was like, she wants to know if you will film one with her. So we filmed one last night. Like, I did my own trend with the whole family, and then all the girls joined in. It was really fun. And we ate chili and we hung out, and I. My parents hadn't watched any of the inauguration coverage, so I just kept dropping little things to my dad. That was. I kept, like, showing him the. The Elon salute thing and, like. And just having him, like, squirm in his chair because it was not the. It was not the setting to, like, get upset about stuff, but I just kept giving him little nuggets, and he.

[Brian Frangie]

Gets upset about this.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, boy. Yes. And I. And I. I needed someone to get upset. Like, I needed. I needed a little bit of, like, release yesterday. Of like, someone's gonna get madder than I am, so that it, like, takes some of your away. So that was kind of fun. My parents are adorable. I love them so much. And last night I woke. I did wake up last night because Goldie had a bad dream and woke me up. She was like. And I, like, Was like, whoa. And she was like. And I don't know what the she was dreaming about, but it was very traumatic. And she calmed down. Yeah. And I was like. It was just. He was giving his heart to us. He said he was. He was throwing his heart up into the rafters at a very sharp angle.

[Brian Frangie]

That's what he said.

[Noah Avior]

Yes, dude. That's not what he said. That's what people are saying is that he was like, my heart is with you. And then he threw his heart up.

[Brian Frangie]

Into the sky, all the way up to the third level.

[Noah Avior]

And so. But then I was awake and I couldn't get back to sleep. Four. Drum roll, please. I had existential dread. Oh, hit me last night, you guys.

[Brian Frangie]

Welcome to my world, Nikki.

[Noah Avior]

Dude, I felt so bad for you. I. Like, I. Not only was I flooded with my own dread of dying and my parents dying and my dog dying and everyone in my life dying. And, like, how am I gonna deal with that? Like, I can't deal with my parents dying. Like, I should go hang out with my dad right now. It's 4:00 in the morning. Like, he's alive right now. I have to go hang out with him. It was like, truly, I could not deal with it. But then I was also burdened with your pain because I was like, this is how people. This so a lot of my friends feel all the time. How do you deal? So then I just started talking to myself and saying, it's okay, Nikki. It's okay, Nikki. It's like being my own mother, like, soothing myself, like, I was very healthy, back to sleep and saying, that's like, the answer.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, that's like, what they teach you to do. And you just did it naturally.

[Noah Avior]

And I just was like, you're not, like, you're not allowed to think about those things. Like, it is you. You only. You have to do a mantra of it's okay, Nikki. So, like, you know, like, when you're doing meditation and you're supposed to focus on your breath, and if you drift off, you just focus back on your breath. I was just like, anytime I drift off, I have to focus back on. It's okay, Nikki. It's okay, Nikki. It's okay. And, like, just being, like, really soothing and nice. And then I was able to get back to sleep, but good God, it was, like, so deeply uncomfortable. Yeah, I. I felt like I was high in eighth grade, you know, like, where you get high and you start, like, everyone's gonna die. I'm gonna die. Like, oh, yes, dude. It was horrible. I'm so sorry to anyone who goes through that. I'm so glad it's gone today. And that I, you know, resent my parents again. And I'm totally taking them for granted. It's. It's true. Like, I, you know, you wake up in the middle night and you're like, I have to spend time with all the people that might be gone someday. Like, how could I ever turn down hanging out with my parents when there is. It's certain that they will be gone someday. I will be gone someday. How do we. How do I go on?

[Guest]

That is what my postpartum depression was. I just kept thinking about how one day I, you know, like, I won't be there for my daughter or, you know, like, my. My family's gonna pass away and all that. It's. It's really paralyzing.

[Noah Avior]

It's paralyzing because there's nothing you can do about it. And you're like, everyone's just okay with this. I think it just. I mean, obviously no one's okay with it.

[Brian Frangie]

The only people that are okay with it are the same, like, okay with dying. Are you saying, well, we have to.

[Noah Avior]

Be okay with it. We have to go about our lives. I could. I don't understand when people ask if I thought that I was gonna die soon.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, I tire.

[Noah Avior]

In to get fixed.

[Brian Frangie]

I don't understand when people say, like, oh, yeah, I don't mind dying. I. I think it'll be fine. And I'm like, are you. I don't think you understand what that means.

[Noah Avior]

I'm okay with dying. I'm not okay with my parents dying and me having to, like, go on. Yeah, that's where I'm like, I don't know if that's gonna be okay.

[Guest]

Or siblings. No, there's just like, all sorts of things. Friends.

[Noah Avior]

And then I was like, you should, Nikki, you should have a kid, because this is. That. That. That will make it so you have someone that won't die before you. And then I go, wait, something can happen to them. I'm not inviting more of this in my life. Like, yeah, I'm. I'm. That would add to my anxiety of, like, what could happen. Like, I can't. I can't do. So there was a moment of like, I should have a baby because I want to alleviate the pain of losing my parents, and I want to have something I care about just as much as my parents. And then I was like, no, I can't. Because then I. What. What if some. That. That was too scary.

[Brian Frangie]

So that's in Korea. That's one of the scariest things that would just ruin your. Like, you have in your act, you know, that would ruin your entire life if something happened. Like, there's no go. Moving on from that.

[Noah Avior]

No.

[Brian Frangie]

And that's a big risk. I mean, but anyway. Yeah. So look, I have this. Speaking of people's parents, Ali's dad is a subscriber to the Wall Street Journal.

[Noah Avior]

Uh huh.

[Brian Frangie]

And he saved this in print. Oh, yeah. And sent it.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, my God.

[Guest]

Wait, I have one, too. Hold on.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, my God. You guys are so cute.

[Brian Frangie]

Look at this. This is right.

[Noah Avior]

So big on the Wall Street Journal.

[Brian Frangie]

Look at those eyes.

[Noah Avior]

Your eyes, really? They did no eye makeup on me for that. Almost none. I was like, are we really gonna go minimal here? Yeah, they're blue as hell.

[Brian Frangie]

Strikingly blue.

[Noah Avior]

Damn, I look so beautiful, Nikki. And I'm like, that's a woman. Like, do you ever look at yourself, Noah? And you're like, I'm an. I'm a woman. Like, I'm 40. Like, that isn't. Like, I'm not a girl anymore. Like, that's a woman who should have, like.

[Guest]

I wish.

[Noah Avior]

Brief.

[Guest]

I wish I photographed as well as you. You are so photographic.

[Noah Avior]

Honey, I want to let you know, those were the one that you had the New York Times, that was probably a hundred pictures taken. And the. The. The one you held up, that was probably a thousand. So those. Everyone remember that it's one of thousands of pictures taken when they end up with a picture. Even I saw, like, Addison Rae on Rolling Stone. I'm like, that's the best picture I've ever seen. And I was like, just remember it was a whole day of shooting, and there's some really bad ones of her. I'm sure probably not that many, but it's. Yeah, it was very exciting. Face was everywhere. I. I have recently, because there's a more recognizability factor going on pour moi. I've been trying to dress nicer when I leave the house. It's. It is happening. And then I saw someone at Starbucks the other day, and I wasn't dressed nice, and I. And she recognized me, and I apologized.

[Guest]

I just read that on. There's. There's an interview on Grammy.com with Nikki where you tell a story. I think you may tell that story. Are you, like, apologize when you meet people, like, at the airport or wherever, and you're like, I'm sorry. I know that you expected more of me.

[Noah Avior]

I, I. I always do, because I just am like, this is not okay. And even the girls at my Pilates gym, they are so nice. They were like, you looked so pretty at the, you know, Golden Globes. And I'm like, it was all my glam team, honey. As you know, look at me right now. Like, it's crazy how much it can be, how dialed up.

[Guest]

You also looked stunning on Howard. I was just talking with one of my Jiu Jitsu classmates. Y. So Nice about that. And I was really good lighting there.

[Noah Avior]

It was so nice. And I had hair. You know, I had eyelashes and.

[Guest]

But that green. I like that hunter green on you, I think.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, I think it's a gray. I was wearing gray on Howard Stern. It might have looked green on the screen.

[Guest]

Well, it looked wonderful on you.

[Brian Frangie]

What did the person say at Starbucks that you. You apologized to?

[Noah Avior]

She just goes. Because I was getting up to go to the bathroom, and I was leaving my computer, and I just. I always do this thing where I'm like, well, you. But if someone comes and steals it, it's not your fault. Like, I don't care. Just don't chase them. Or, like, it's just. That's literally where I go. I go, will you. And then I point at it and I go, but you don't have to. Like, it's not. Just do whatever. Like, it's there and then. Cause it's really dumb to put someone, like, in charge of. You're like, you. Will you guard this for me? I'm always just like, what? Okay. I don't.

[Brian Frangie]

That's actually a pretty good idea for a movie is someone says, can you watch my. A laptop for me? And then they go to the bathroom at the coffee shop, and then someone steals the laptop, and the person feels like it's their job to find that laptop and hunt.

[Noah Avior]

It seems like a curb episode where he's like, I didn't even say that I would. You know, like, he and Larry, I motion for you to watch it. I have my headphones, and I didn't know, like, that's such a curb thing. Yes. So I did that motion, and the girl goes, wait, are you. Are you Icky Glaser? And I said, yes. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry that this is who I am, because I was wearing, like, a. My hair was, like, five days unwashed. It was in a clip that was, like, tangled. And, like, there's, like, a long strand hanging out of it. I have to put up my hair in a clip, and there's one strand that's all the way down my back, and then the rest is up, like, high on my head. It's like, I just don't look in mirrors that often. And she was. She was like, oh, not like. She was like, you're. I. You know, I've had the joke before, but I literally am almost offended when I get recognized because of how trashy I will look. But it almost makes me feel good because I'm like, oh, maybe there is A little sign that I look that pretty outside of it and then, yeah, that's it. So I've been trying to up the way I look when I just go out because I feel like people talk and I just don't want the rumor to be like, she was dressed disgustingly. Like when I go out to nice dinners or something. Like I throw on some makeup now. Like I just want to look a little bit presentable.

[Brian Frangie]

You never know when someone's gonna be taking a picture of you now, right?

[Noah Avior]

I don't mind.

[Brian Frangie]

It could show up in a publication.

[Noah Avior]

There are just certain places I go to in St. Louis where I feel, yeah, people can be like judgy and that's why I had to get like a nicer car. Like I wish I just didn't care what people thought, but I just don't want people to think they're better than me.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

And I think that some people and, and because they have more money than me or something. Like there's some areas in St. Louis where like, if you have to like, look a certain way and dress a certain way or like sometimes I go to the Starbucks in ladoo and I run in and out of there so fast because I don't want anyone to see what trash I am because then they'll like whisper about me at their Bible studies and say, oh, she was actually wearing these Converse that are like so dirty and she had these really ill fitting jeans on and like we don't even know why she's famous. Like, I didn't laugh at all. I didn't think it was funny at all. She's never been funny. I think it's actually disgusting. And like they can act like they're better than me. Like I know these conversations happen. The girls, if you're offended by this because you're like, I don't talk that way about her. Then you're not who I'm talking about. You're cool and I like you, but you, if you're St. Louis and you know who I'm talking about, the weird you go to high school, people that can like try to socioeconomically place you. That's the big thing in, in St. Louis is where you, you, you. Everyone asked where you went to high school so they can know how rich your dad is.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, but now you're richer than their dad.

[Noah Avior]

So them I am. But like, they still dress like I'm not though. And that's what it, that's what matters. I, I would. There are times where I just want to let Them all know that, but I guess they could just go, well, I don't know. I. I actually don't. I don't think I'm richer than them. Some of them like their dad's own banks and shit. Like, I can't even touch their wealth. But there was a. I was gonna move into a house a couple. I would say, like, six months ago or something.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

And we got really close. We were so excited about this place, and I'm kind of glad it didn't happen, because my mom. My mom's friends, they meet people that are from this neighborhood, and they all are like, nikki almost moved into our neighborhood. Nikki Glazer almost. They all know. And I'm like, how did they even know? And so if I move into a neighborhood, everyone's gonna be watching every little thing that goes on in my house and whispering and, oh, the car is parked a certain way.

[Brian Frangie]

Shrubs. But you know what, though? This also happens if in your. It's just moving into a neighborhood.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. No, I know that. I'm not trying to feel.

[Guest]

I'm not to move off the grid.

[Noah Avior]

I want to live in, like, a kind of wooded area where people can't see in. Because I'm not ashamed of how I live. I really. I'm quite a mess, and it's okay. But I don't like people to collectively get together and whisper and think they're better than me or, like, try to make themselves feel better about the fact that they're not famous or whatever they're jealous of me about, even though I don't think that's something to be jealous about. And then they just, like the fact that they all knew. Why did. Why do people know that? Why aren't you allowed to move into a neighborhood and not have everyone know who you are? Is that just not a thing that exists anymore? I'm not. I'm being serious.

[Brian Frangie]

Every place that I've looked at, the. The story is always, the town is small and everybody talks no matter what. Like, even if you moved into Culver City, which is like, a small section of a larger place, but if you want to go move into a place that, like, literally is like, a smaller city or town, then, yeah, people just gossip. And there is a famous person who lives in the town that I got married in, Grand Lake.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Everybody fucking hates this guy. I mean, he is, like. He does do some things, I guess, that are rude and mean. But I was in there because I was walking around because Ali and I were like, what would it be like to Live in Grand Lake. And then we started talking to the townspeople about, like, what would it be like to live here? And every single person we talked to brought up this famous guy and was like, but this guy lives here. They'd be like, we love it. The winters are really cold. It's really not a great place to.

[Noah Avior]

Die to know, who is this guy?

[Brian Frangie]

But this guy lives here, too, and he's such a Dennis Quaid. You're not so far off.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

You probably look it up.

[Noah Avior]

I don't do Noah, do you? Is your neighborhood like that? Like, chattery, about, like, gossipy, and you guys get together and talk about who's doing what?

[Guest]

I only recently, because I've been going for walks, and I was going to say, you have a dog. You're going to go for a walk, so you're going to meet a lot.

[Noah Avior]

Of people wherever you are.

[Brian Frangie]

That's where you really get to talk to people, the walks.

[Guest]

So after living here for, like, four years, and only now have I met some of my neighbors, and particularly one lady who told me the whole neighborhood spiel about everybody.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, my God.

[Guest]

But it wasn't, like, too gossipy, except for about, like, one couple and how they're, like a remarried couple with one kid and all that stuff. But, you know, it wasn't anything toxic.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. Okay. I mean, yeah, this is not gonna go. And you're.

[Guest]

You're in the public eye.

[Noah Avior]

It's.

[Guest]

It's inevitable.

[Noah Avior]

Even if you don't mind. I don't mind, like, making friends. How long do you have to talk to people when you run into them with. When you're walking? Like, if you run out to someone, they're getting their mail, and you sit and you talk. Like, what's an average amount of time? And then how do you get out of it? And I'm not looking to not have conversations. I like a conversation. I just. It stresses me out that you can't get out of it.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. And also that, like, you have to walk your dog, like, four times a day. And, like, what, are you gonna have a conversation every single time you walk outside? I mean, that's when I'm like. I have. I have my methods to try to avoid headphones. Well, what I've been doing lately is I just carry Jack across the street and down the block and make him pee on that lawn. Because I don't. Because there's this vicinity. There's this circle of air, this area right outside my house where, like, I talked to this neighbor. I talked to that neighbor. And it's just. It was getting to be, like, inefficient. I'd be out there for, like, 25 minutes talking to people. And sometimes you just don't want to talk at all.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

And sometimes the other person doesn't want to talk at all. But then you both see each other and you feel obligated to have this conversation. Reluctant conversation.

[Noah Avior]

You don't want Melania's hat. But I will say, living in an apartment complex, I never talk to anyone. It's just something about living in that close of quarters that makes people totally antisocial. It's almost like on an airplane, you know, we're all so close to each other, yet we all agree not to talk. And in an apartment building, I know some people, and we say hi and we, like, nod at each other, but there's not, like, long conversations going on. I don't feel like there's any. I never gossip about anyone. I'm not, like, trying to suss out who's going where and what's happening. And I don't feel like that energy is being brought to me. And that's why I love an apartment. I love living amongst people, but not being expected to have podcasts with them.

[Brian Frangie]

Right? Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

In the hallway.

[Brian Frangie]

No. Yeah, exactly. I think the nod hello and just the acknowledgement that I know you, I'm happy to see you, we're not talking is amazing.

[Noah Avior]

I'm coming off as antisocial, but I promise you I'm not. I just don't like being. I grew up in a house where my mom's always like, get that shit out of our front, Nikki. Clean that stuff up. People are gonna think we're white trash. And just. I would always be like, who cares? But I think it's seeped into me that I'm deeply concerned about people thinking I'm white trash or thinking that I'm trash based on, like, what is on my lawn. Like, even Chris was like, you know, if we move in one of these nice neighborhoods, we're not gonna be able to park, like, the way we want. Like, you can't just park on the street, or you can't have your friends. And I'm like, my friends are gonna park on the fucking street. Who gives a shit? I'm trying to be, like, what? They're gonna, like, write us up for it. Write us up. I don't care. Like, oh, they have to. They have to move their car 2 inches when they're Dr. Why is that such? Or your Christmas lights have to be a certain color. Like HOA stuff. Like, all it says to me is like, we want to make this neighborhood look white.

[Brian Frangie]

Even the Christmas lights have to be white.

[Noah Avior]

Like that's what I am disgusted by any kind of rules that make it feel like we need to let everyone know we're rich and white. And I that that's what that's why I don't like country clubs. I just feel like there's just this vibe of like they are not saying what I think they want to say, which is we know what they want to say. But maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm reading too much into I love everyone. I love St. Louis. All right, we're gonna go to break. We'll be back.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Guest]

Could catch anything sitting in this doctor's waiting room.

[Noah Avior]

Okay, just wiped his runny nose on my jacket and the guy next to.

[Guest]

Me sitting in a pool of perspiration insists on sharing my armrest.

[Nikki Glaser]

Next time, make an appointment with an Amazon One Medical provider. There's no waiting and no sweaty guy. Amazon One Medical healthcare just got less painful.

[Noah Avior]

This message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy?

[Guest]

Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money.

[Noah Avior]

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[Guest]

Healthy financial habits together on Greenlight.

[Noah Avior]

Get started risk [e-mail] iheart oh, what other what last?

[Brian Frangie]

So I experienced the closed thing last night because I went to Ali Was doing a midnight book release where we would go to the bookshop in town and she'd pick up the book. You know, there was like a big event.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, fun.

[Brian Frangie]

And this was like a surprise. It's called Onyx Storm, which is the third book in a series about dragon riders.

[Noah Avior]

Oh my God, she's so cool.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, well, I. This was a surprise to me and to her. She kind of forgot that she had the tickets, but she's like, oh, I gotta go to the bookstore. And it's this bookstore in Culver City called the Rip Bodice, which is a romance bookstore. And it's run by women, owned by women. And all the books are for women. And I'm like, yeah, I'll go with you to the thing. It sounds fun. So we walked to town and I'm wearing my usual stuff. I'm wearing my golden globes vest. I had my golden globes shirt, Cocox, Cotopaxi. My. My puff jacket, which is very colorful.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

I had blue sweatshirts on my fanny pack and a dinosaur. Ha. And I would go to this event and I look never dressed.

[Noah Avior]

Sometimes like a toddler whose mom said, you decide what you wear today, honey.

[Brian Frangie]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Most of the time I just don't care. I just want to be comfortable.

[Noah Avior]

Just comfortable.

[Brian Frangie]

But this one time we were there and I was literally the only man there and I felt like I am not representing my gender. Well.

[Noah Avior]

Right, right. No, I feel like you're out. Your outfit is a non threatening man. I feel like you. That is like you, you. You dressed the way as a guy that would not hurt us.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. And you know, it's interesting because I was there with my wife, obviously and I feel like a lot of the ladies there were making eye contact with me and it was like a reverse bar where I'm like at this. It's like when you go to a gay bar or something. It's like all of a sudden like, like.

[Guest]

Okay, was the eye contact 3 seconds or more?

[Noah Avior]

Oh, that's right.

[Brian Frangie]

The eye contact was significant. And sometimes I would say something to Ally and then another girl would respond.

[Guest]

Whoa, flirtation.

[Noah Avior]

Brian. Sorry. But you're a very handsome man and I don't think you know that your skin is that of a child's. I don't understand your skin texture. We should be asking you what lasers you get. Right. But you're an attractive guy, so that makes sense. And you're tall and you were the only guy there it all.

[Brian Frangie]

So if you want to meet women.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Go to midnight book Sales. I mean, it's just packed with women who. And if you go there and you're like, maybe this guy also likes Onyx Storm. You're just like, you're.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Frangie]

Can you imagine one of them meeting someone who actually reads books about dragons, too?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. You're not going to have to wet your finger to turn the page with your mouth. You just put in your pants.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, all these books are about that, too. All these books, they're like, all about fucking. Even the Dragon Ball. There was a. There was a trivia contest about the book before Ripped bodice.

[Noah Avior]

I mean, come on.

[Brian Frangie]

I know exactly. It's a romance bookstore. There was a trivia contest and one of the questions was like, finish this quote from the book. And the quote was like, when we go into our first year, we lose our minds, but when we go into our second year, we lose our blank.

[Noah Avior]

Ooh.

[Brian Frangie]

And then you're. And then they ask the question. You were supposed to shout out the answer. And I, as a joke, shout out virginity.

[Noah Avior]

And got it right.

[Brian Frangie]

No, I didn't. I'm sorry. That would be great.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

The answer was humanity, which is actually pretty close. In your second year, you lose your humanity. And I yell out virginity. And then this. This girl behind me says to me, I guess he didn't read the first book because in the first year, that's when everyone loses their virginity. And so she's joking around me about it.

[Noah Avior]

Whoa.

[Brian Frangie]

Everyone's fucking the entire time. All these books. I didn't realize that when my wife is sitting on her bed reading these books, it's like porn.

[Noah Avior]

Yes, yes. That's stuff. I just watch porn. But it can be really, really hot. This book on Miranda July on all fours. I saw my dad was reading it and I was like, like, no, no, no, no, no. That one. That's crazy, dad. Like, it really made me uncomfortable that he was reading this book that he's like, yeah, just picked up the library. I'm like, dad, wait a second. Have you gotten to any of the. The parts? And he's like, oh, I don't think it's been too crazy yet. I'm like, just buckle up, baby. Because I don't even, like, I don't like to know that my dad knows that stuff.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, no. Sometimes that happens to my dad, too, where my dad and my wife have like. Like read a similar book or like, the same book. And I'm like, oh, no, I don't want them to have read the same books.

[Noah Avior]

Based on this final thought. Speaking of parents and them seeing things that you've seen. Guess what I showed my parents that they had not seen on Thursday night?

[Brian Frangie]

Two girls, one cup.

[Guest]

Great answer.

[Nikki Glaser]

No.

[Noah Avior]

My mom's currently reading it. Whiplash, baby.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, yeah, that's the Two girls, one cup of.

[Noah Avior]

I can't get enough of that movie. I. My dad goes, you don't want to watch it again. You watched it. You watched it last week for the first time. And I was like, I do want to watch again. So we watched it and I was like, you're gonna love it. They loved it. In fact, the next day they both told me, we want to watch it again. We want to watch it. They were like, they got it. They were so into it. And so I just want to give a shout out. And it's on Netflix now, so.

[Brian Frangie]

And the end of that movie is kind of pornograph. Graphic.

[Noah Avior]

Is it? Totally is. So horny.

[Brian Frangie]

Yep.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, my God, I'm horny. For J.K. simmons, without question. What did I watch this weekend that he was in? Oh, a juror number two. Anya recommended it to me. It's on Max. It's Clint Eastwood directed. 94 year old Clint Eastwood directed juror number Juror. The rural juror number two. No, it's the juror number two. And it is. Nicholas Holt stars in it. I actually met him at Jimmy Kimmel. He was a very nice man. We were doing it at the same time. He stars in it. J.K. simmons is in it. Kiefer Sutherland is in it. Zoe Deutsch is in it. The. The Black guy from Reno911 who I love. I forget his name. So sorry. Shout out. He's in it. Who? It's just like, it's packed with stars and it's. It's about a guy who.

[Brian Frangie]

Cedric Yarbrough.

[Noah Avior]

Yes, Cedric Yarbrough. Oh my God. He's so funny, so good. But he's really. He's a dramatic role in this. But. But yeah, JK is up to his old tricks. But I recommend watching Juror number two. Anya recommended it. It was actually really good. It makes you go like, what would I do? It's kind of crazy. And Clint Eastwood is 94 and directed this. I'm like, I cannot believe a 94 year old is working. And it's hard to believe. Long days on set. I. I think they probably were. Was the craft service all oatmeal?

[Brian Frangie]

No, it's probably prunes. And I. He also, he. It was like 15 years ago when he did the Republican National Convention and Talked to that empty chair.

[Noah Avior]

And when he did American Sniper and had a baby doll instead of a baby. But he's an amazing director. I mean, this was really well done.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, but it's hard to believe that he can get it done because of the chair.

[Noah Avior]

His daughter.

[Brian Frangie]

Fifteen years ago, he was senile, but he. Guess not. I guess. Bad choice.

[Noah Avior]

It was good. It was really good. And then we watched a bunch of football. Oh, I wanted to call back to. Noah had asked you about if the girls lingered for longer than three seconds on their.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. What does that mean?

[Noah Avior]

Well, we had a discussion on this on girls chat, where Carlile was. Ran into a celebrity. We won't say who. Someone that I definitely ran into at the Golden Globes. And he lingered eye contact for, like, over five seconds of, like, strong eye contact. And she was like, I don't know what it was. And we were like, we know because we read about how to flirt. And you're supposed to hold eye contact for three seconds to let someone know that you want to bang them.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, my God.

[Guest]

And give them a little smirk.

[Noah Avior]

A little smile smirk. Because you're not supposed to be like, hey, I like you. Because women are supposed to be passive and let. Let guys, like. Because guys are always like, I don't know if I'm supposed to, like, like, go up to her or not. And it's like, that's the way a woman can be aggressive without saying anything and seeming. It's like a passive aggressive way of letting a guy know.

[Brian Frangie]

So if you make eye contact with a woman and she averts her eyes, that is a.

[Noah Avior]

Well, after a couple seconds, if she averts her eyes and kind of like smiles.

[Guest]

Women do that, though. Like, if. If you catch a woman making eye contact, I feel like we usually just kind of like, look away and we start like, oh, my God, he's looking at me. Even though they think you're cute or whatever, but the trick is you have to hold that contact to be inviting. So the guys don't question.

[Brian Frangie]

Historically, if I made eye contact with a woman, like, almost every single time, they, like, look away immediately. And that's if that person was interested, I would never have the courage to say anything to them.

[Guest]

Exactly.

[Noah Avior]

Here's what you do. I think if you just. If you look again, though, and they're doing it again, then it's like that. Because that's what I used to do. Like, I used to be kind of like, oh, I'm too. I'm too nervous to hold it. If I would be into A guy. So I would just keep doing, like. I would avert right away, and then I would do it again. And, like, I. But, man, is there. I'm, like, getting, like, a little excited, even thinking about holding eye contact with a stranger across the room and trying to, like, communicate that you're into them, but, like, then actually act like you're not so fun, but you're supposed to hold it for, like, three seconds, which is a. I mean, it's 1, 2, 3. Like, that's a long time to hold eye contact with someone. 1. And I started on one. So that was actually.

[Brian Frangie]

I don't even know if I can make eye contact with my dog for that long.

[Noah Avior]

It's. She won't allow it. And if she does, you know what she wants. But Carlisle, like, was like, yeah. Carla was like, I don't know what this guy wants. We were like, we know. Get it, girl.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

She said it was so awkward that she was, like. She was saying goodbye to this person, and then they. He just, like, lingered and looked that she had to be like, like, all right, see you next time. She had to say something else to, like. To, like, fill the space. And we're like, oh, my God. And I saw this guy, and I would not have thought he looked as good as he did, but let me just say he looking good.

[Brian Frangie]

Wow.

[Noah Avior]

And so what is the scenario in.

[Brian Frangie]

Which this is happening? What's the context?

[Noah Avior]

She was at work.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, okay.

[Noah Avior]

She's at work. And they were obs.

[Brian Frangie]

She's working, and.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, she's working.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

All right.

[Noah Avior]

Very exciting.

[Brian Frangie]

So is something going to happen here? Is there a number exchanged?

[Noah Avior]

No, I don't think that's. That's professional in her case. But I think something. The. The idea that something could have happened, I think is an exciting.

[Brian Frangie]

You should have written the number. Yeah. Slipping a number to a girl and then just leaving is such a good move because you don't have to put the pressure on them to do anything.

[Guest]

Does the girl call you? Because then that changes the whole energy.

[Noah Avior]

No, because it's. Well, girl can just, like, say hi. You know, like, it's.

[Brian Frangie]

Reverse is good. The reverse is good. If a girl gives a guy the number, then that's too aggressive.

[Noah Avior]

No, I've done that so many times. It's not worked.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, my God.

[Noah Avior]

I used to always do it because it's the easiest thing to do is just be like, here's my number. And then you just walk away, like.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Because I'm so scared of, like, telling Someone. I like them. So I would just. I would just do that. And.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, it works really well if you talk to a guy who maybe is afraid to make the first move. Like, that happened in my year of dating before it became Neo from the Matrix. I was talking to this girl at a bar, and I was afraid to say, like, hey, I want to, you know, get your number. And then I just kind of. The conversation has kind of ended, and I kind of walked away, and I just had the rest of my night. And at the end of the night, she came up to me and just slipped me a receipt with her number on it.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, yeah. And is that Ally? No, I'm just kidding. That's so cute, though. Yeah, I did it. I think I did it a couple times where I gave my number, and I don't think it worked out. One time I wrote it on a banana.

[Brian Frangie]

Like, on the outside.

[Noah Avior]

Well, a guy. I was. I was on a plane, and I'm. Believe it or not, the flight attendant was like, a hot guy that was seemingly very straight.

[Brian Frangie]

Wow.

[Noah Avior]

Really? Yeah. And he. And I was vegan. I'm vegan. And I he off. I was sitting in business, and he offered me snacks, and I was like, I'm vegan. Can't have anything. He's like, we're gonna find something for you. You. And he went and found me a banana. And I didn't really want the banana, but I wrote my number on the banana. And on the way out, I was just like, here's my number. And I gave it to him on the banana. And he said. And he waited to call until it was, like, about to rot. He said. And then we never met up. But it was still a cute. Meet cute.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. And sharpie on the banana.

[Noah Avior]

No, I wrote like. Like, dug in, like, pen.

[Brian Frangie]

Wow.

[Noah Avior]

Like, on the banana skin, you know?

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, you know what? I think I ate the banana and literally gave him the peel. I was like. Because I thought it was funny to give him the trash and be like. Because he would think it was trash. And I go, look at it closer. I think that's what I did. Because that's funnier than handing back the banana. That's exactly what I gave him. The trash. And I was like, look closely. And then I thought he just didn't know what I said. And I was really embarrassed for a few days because I was like, oh, he thinks I just handed him trash.

[Brian Frangie]

Read it. And he's like, why did this crazy lady just carve hieroglyphics?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. So that was kind of a fun thing. I'm trying to think of other cute things I've done. Yeah, I always try to do, like, funny stuff, and that doesn't go over well. It just doesn't work for women to be the.

[Brian Frangie]

Most men. Most men don't want women to be funny. They want them to be funny and. Or aggressive. It's the same thing, I think when a. When a woman is funny to most men, it's as if you're being aggressive.

[Noah Avior]

Yes.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, the same thing.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Guest]

What about, like, hypers, like, sexual texts?

[Noah Avior]

Oh, God.

[Guest]

That's probably too aggressive, too.

[Brian Frangie]

I would think, like a girl sending a guy hypersexual texts.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Guest]

Like, you know.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, man. I have one.

[Brian Frangie]

What?

[Noah Avior]

I have. Okay. So I was actually watching a movie recently where this guy was in it that I, like, really was like. It's. I think, like, I don't want anyone to figure out who this is, because I wonder if I've, like, revealed anything about it in past things, if some. If my archivist is listening. Still trying to come up with the data of my life, but nothing ever happened with this person. But anyway, I saw this guy's picture on Instagram, and I was like, that's one of the hottest people I've ever seen in my life. And I was like, well, what's his deal? And I went to his profile. This is years and years ago, and he's following me. What?

[Brian Frangie]

Whoa.

[Noah Avior]

And this was like. I'm not kidding you. This was, like, 10 years ago. So, yeah, way before anything. And he. He had been, like, a working actor for a while. I never heard of him or seen him, but he had been in some stuff. And so I went to, like, message him to be, like, hot, you know, and then he had messaged me before, and I just missed it.

[Brian Frangie]

So I was in your hidden request.

[Noah Avior]

Jackpot, yo. Yeah. Yes. Okay, so. And it was.

[Brian Frangie]

How many followers did this person have?

[Noah Avior]

Probably, like, low thousands, because he's an actor, you know, like. But, like, not, like, big at that time. Not big stuff. He's. He's done a lot of stuff now.

[Brian Frangie]

But blown up since then.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, he's gotten a lot of banana. So we. So then it was. It was flirty, and so we started, like, kind of, like, texting, and I was in a different city than him. And then he took it to. Not even a sexual place too fast. He took it to, like, a romantic place too fast.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, that's the equivalent. I mean, that's a woman going too sexual is, I think, A turn off to a lot of men because there are certain men who are like, she's a slut. And there are other men who, like, want you to be, you know, aloof. And then for. I think for guys, the worst thing you do is be too. Actually, I think it works for guys and girls to be too romantic, too fast.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. It was just two. There was some talk that was a little bit like the way you would talk in a relationship, you know, like, I say exactly what it was, but it was reminiscent of. You're schmoopy. No, you're schmoopy. You know that Seinfeld kind of baby talk.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Which would have been totally fine had it been like an inside joke with us way into our relationship. But it was just too. It scared me, even though I was like. I mean, it was one of the hottest guys I've ever seen in my life. Life. And there was an opportunity there and I. I literally let it slip through my fingers because I was like, I. I couldn't get over the way it made me feel.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, well, it's his val. He's devalued all of a sudden. Like, why does this guy want a relationship so bad? Is he. What's wrong with him?

[Noah Avior]

Well, yeah. Yeah, maybe. But it was also. Yeah, it felt like. And I've talked about this before, just. I don't like when someone is operating with you on a level that is too intimate. When they haven't gotten to know you, it seems insincere. It seems like a lot of how a guy would probably be like, does she do this with everyone? One with a girl who's sexual. Like, what makes me special? Like, this guy doesn't even know me enough to talk about.

[Brian Frangie]

That's a really good point.

[Noah Avior]

Snuggles.

[Brian Frangie]

Like, maybe they're. Oh, okay. You've mentioned Sunday snuggles before.

[Noah Avior]

Okay. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

On. I don't even. That might have been on the not safe podcast. You've mentioned Sunday. It's been.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

My brain.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

But yeah, I think that's a sign of, like a love bombing where it's like, this person has moved too fast. They don't even know who I am, and yet they're here year. Which means that they're just as likely to change and become a cold, frigid monster.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. It was probably good of me to have my cockles up, but this person remains a nice person in my life and I like them and I. I would recommend someone date them. So I don't think it was a. I I don't think I dodged a bullet by any means.

[Brian Frangie]

But so J.K. simmons, he's still good.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, but still day Jacob Simmons. I wish J.K. simmons would roll into my DMs. I love him so much. What a amazing. And my mom was, I could tell, kind of horny for him. She was like, he's fit.

[Brian Frangie]

He's fit. Oh, he's super fit. He's like, like a Jeff Bezos. A good Jeff Bezos.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. Yeah, he is. There's. Even though he plays an evil, sometimes evil characters, there's a warmth to him.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, yeah. Every time. You understand?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, it's so good. And just go watch Whiplash for the love of God. I'm not gonna stop talking about it anytime soon. We're going to be back on the podcast tomorrow. Thank you guys so much for listening to this ramble fest. Love you so much. Don't be cur and bye. See you tomorrow. The Nikki Glaser Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by me, Nikki Glaser, co hosted by Brian Frangie, executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Soni and Noah Avior, edited and engineered by Lean and Loaf Video production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki glaser podcast on YouTube, follow ickyglaserpod and subscribe to our channel.

[Nikki Glaser]

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