#504 When You Should Lie to Friends, A Gentle Vegan & Will Nikki Fix Her Pelvic Tilt Finally?

Summary

The Nikki Glaser Podcast: Episode #504 Summary

Title: When You Should Lie to Friends, A Gentle Vegan & Will Nikki Fix Her Pelvic Tilt Finally?
Release Date: January 24, 2025
Hosted By: Nikki Glaser, co-hosted by Brian Frangie and Noah Avior
Produced By: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts

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In Episode #504 of The Nikki Glaser Podcast, hosts Nikki Glaser, Brian Frangie, and Noah Avior delve into a range of personal and relatable topics, from navigating friendships and relationships to personal health and fitness journeys. This episode weaves humor with honest conversations, providing listeners with insights and practical advice wrapped in the trio’s signature comedic style.

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1. The Meaning Behind "I'm Fine" ([02:14] - [03:22])

The episode kicks off with a discussion on the ambiguous phrase "I'm fine." The hosts explore how this simple statement often masks deeper emotions and the challenges in interpreting its true meaning.

Notable Quote:

Brian Frangie [02:43]: "This is why English is such a difficult language to learn, because people. None of the words mean what they actually mean."

Key Points:

• Miscommunication: The phrase "I'm fine" can convey different emotions based on tone and context, ranging from genuine well-being to concealed distress.
• Emotional Awareness: Recognizing the underlying feelings when someone says "I'm fine" is crucial for effective communication and support.

2. Handling Mistakes and Others' Reactions ([03:04] - [05:35])

The conversation shifts to how individuals respond when they perceive they’ve made mistakes, especially in professional or social settings. The hosts emphasize the importance of honest feedback versus providing false reassurance.

Notable Quotes:

Noah Avior [04:03]: "But, like, literally, who cares? Like, you don't even want that job anyway."

Brian Frangie [04:43]: "What do you think you should do? And then I'll give you the what you shouldn't."

Key Points:

• Honest Assessment: Balancing honesty with empathy when addressing someone’s perceived mistakes.
• Constructive Feedback: Offering actionable advice rather than empty reassurances to foster growth and improvement.

3. Advising Friends on Breakups ([05:35] - [09:16])

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing how to support friends going through breakups. The hosts debate the merits of giving "tough love" versus offering "false hope," sharing personal anecdotes and preferences.

Notable Quotes:

Noah Avior [07:29]: "Let them go out there and do that stuff."

Brian Frangie [08:19]: "I have a friend who does the exact opposite tact and he just says like the worst possible thing you can say..."

Key Points:

• Tough Love vs. False Hope: Evaluating when it’s appropriate to be brutally honest and when to provide comforting reassurances.
• Emotional Support: Understanding the immediate needs of someone grieving and tailoring support accordingly.

4. Relationships, Friendzones, and Secure Partnerships ([09:02] - [22:28])

The dialogue evolves into exploring relationship dynamics, particularly focusing on male friends experiencing the "friendzone" and the importance of secure, communicative partnerships.

Notable Quotes:

Noah Avior [19:57]: "Guys are just craving sticking your dick in something so badly you, like, can't help it."

Brian Frangie [20:30]: "If they're in the right state of mind... you just got to meet the person where they are."

Key Points:

• Friendzone Struggles: Addressing the emotional toll of being friendzoned and strategies to navigate or redefine relationships.
• Secure Relationships: The benefits of being in a secure partnership that allows for platonic friendships without jealousy or insecurity.

5. Pelvic Tilt and Fitness Discussions ([22:28] - [31:27])

Noah Avior brings a personal health topic to the forefront—her ongoing battle with pelvic tilt. She shares her attempts to correct it through various methods and tools, sparking a conversation about physical health and body image.

Notable Quotes:

Noah Avior [30:35]: "I got this. This special chiropractic thing that you're not even supposed to be able to buy unless you're like an..."

Brian Frangie [31:08]: "...you'll have to walk away. I mean, you can't be in that situation. It's just so."

Key Points:

• Pelvic Tilt Awareness: Understanding what pelvic tilt is and its impact on posture and overall health.
• Fitness Solutions: Exploring different approaches to correct pelvic tilt, including professional treatments and at-home exercises.

6. Body Composition and DEXA Scan ([31:27] - [47:07])

The hosts delve into discussions about body composition, with Brian sharing his experience of undergoing a DEXA scan to measure his body fat and bone density. This leads to a broader conversation about fitness routines, bone health, and the challenges of maintaining physical wellness.

Notable Quotes:

Brian Frangie [41:54]: "I wanted to find out if I was a fat piece of shit or not, because I..."

Noah Avior [45:35]: "You are fat."

Key Points:

• DEXA Scans Explained: An overview of what a DEXA scan measures, including body fat percentage, muscle mass, and bone density.
• Fitness Challenges: The importance of weightlifting for bone density and muscle maintenance, especially as one ages.
• Body Image: Navigating personal perceptions of body image and the influence of health professionals’ feedback.

7. Conclusion and Final Thoughts ([47:07] - [47:37])

As the episode wraps up, the hosts briefly touch upon upcoming topics and express gratitude to their listeners, ensuring a light-hearted and engaging end to their candid discussions.

Notable Quote:

Noah Avior [47:32]: "We gotta go. Thank you for listening to podcast this week. Happy birthday, Kirsten."

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Overall Insights and Takeaways:

• Effective Communication: The importance of understanding nuanced language in relationships and friendships.
• Support Systems: Balancing honesty and empathy when supporting friends through tough times.
• Personal Health Journeys: Sharing personal challenges related to physical health fosters relatability and encourages open conversations about wellness.
• Body Image and Fitness: Emphasizing the role of consistent fitness routines and professional guidance in maintaining physical health and combating aging-related changes.

Conclusion:
Episode #504 of The Nikki Glaser Podcast offers a blend of humor, genuine conversation, and practical advice on navigating complex personal and relational dynamics. By addressing topics such as honest communication, supporting friends through breakups, and personal health challenges, the hosts provide listeners with relatable content that resonates on both emotional and practical levels.

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Notable Quotes:

• Brian Frangie [02:43]: "This is why English is such a difficult language to learn, because people. None of the words mean what they actually mean."
• Noah Avior [04:03]: "But, like, literally, who cares? Like, you don't even want that job anyway."
• Noah Avior [07:29]: "Let them go out there and do that stuff."

(All timestamps correspond to the provided transcript.)

Transcript

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Brian Frangie]

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[Nikki Glaser]

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[Brian Frangie]

Card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[Nikki Glaser]

ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Noah Avior]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his.

[Nikki Glaser]

Daughter moves back in.

[Brian Frangie]

The last time you walked out that.

[Nikki Glaser]

Door, you look back at me and gave me a double bird.

[Noah Avior]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Nikki Glaser]

The wheels come off.

[Noah Avior]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults? Have you watched the news lately?

[Brian Frangie]

That's not a thing anymore.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Noah Avior]

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[Brian Frangie]

Save the date for your cordially invited, a hilarious new wedding comedy starring Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon.

[Noah Avior]

Chaos ensues when two weddings are accidentally booked on the same weekend at the same venue. Uh oh.

[Brian Frangie]

Will Ferrell plays the father of the bride and Reese Witherspoon is the sister.

[Noah Avior]

Of the other bride.

[Brian Frangie]

And they go head to head to make sure the ones they love get.

[Noah Avior]

Their special day together on screen. For the first time ever, it's Ferrell versus Witherspoon. Chaos comedy and alligator wrestling await you.

[Brian Frangie]

And invited watch January 30th on Prime Video.

[Noah Avior]

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[Brian Frangie]

The Nikki Glaser Podcast.

[Grant]

Here'S Nikki.

[Noah Avior]

Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's Nikki Glaser Podcast. What's up, everyone? Brian. Noah, how are you?

[Brian Frangie]

Hello. We're doing fine. We're both doing fine. How are you?

[Noah Avior]

Well, you don't speak for Noah. How dare you?

[Grant]

I was drinking earlier.

[Brian Frangie]

She's doing okay. Texting me. I'm fine.

[Grant]

Yeah, that's all I text, Brian. I'm fine.

[Noah Avior]

I'm fine. Has anyone said, I'm fine? And it's been not like, I'm fine. It means not good.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, fine. This is why English is such a difficult language to learn, because people. None of the words mean what they actually mean.

[Noah Avior]

I'm fine. And it's. It's tone, obviously. Or girl, you're fine.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, like, fine is like, oh, don't worry about it. You're fine. Or it's like, fine, you say to.

[Brian Frangie]

Someone in hospice that they're fine.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, I don't like mine.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, you'd be fine. Everything's gonna be fine.

[Noah Avior]

I really. I use that tone a lot. I really try to, like, make people feel better about things they're worried about by being like, come on.

[Grant]

Yeah, it's fine. It's different. I love going. It's fine.

[Noah Avior]

Who literally. Who cares? I think that's a great tone.

[Brian Frangie]

I Some. Sometimes I'm looking for that tone when I feel like I did something wrong or there's something that's going to be a catastrophe.

[Noah Avior]

I know people are. I am, too. That's why I give it. I try to give it as much as possible. Oh, my God. Not a big deal at all. Oh, come on. Yeah, that's. That's right.

[Brian Frangie]

So the worst thing you can do is select that. You go like, oh, man, do you think I messed up that job interview? So what would you do if I said that, Nikki, do you think I messed up that job?

[Noah Avior]

What do I think you did?

[Brian Frangie]

What do you think you should do? And then I'll give you the what you shouldn't.

[Noah Avior]

Well, I don't know if you did or not. I want to be honest with you.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, okay. Okay. So, yes, I definitely messed up the job interview. Although, you know, not so bad. I didn't like going there and take my dick out.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, you probably did. But, like, literally, who cares? Like, you don't even want that job anyway. It's. It's going to lead to something else, and everything happens for a reason. And the truth is, you might have messed up that job interview, but what mistakes you made in there, you won't do in the next one. That might be more important. And that is the real lesson Here. But yeah, you fucked it up big time.

[Brian Frangie]

That's not what you promised me.

[Noah Avior]

No, no, I will, I will give you a Don't. If I really think it is not a big deal, then I'll go. Oh, God.

[Brian Frangie]

Okay, okay, okay. So how about this? Maybe lower the stakes a little bit and I go in, I go, oh, man. Do you think I was rude to that barista?

[Noah Avior]

What? No. They don't care.

[Brian Frangie]

No, it sounds like I. You think I was horrible to the barista.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, it does. No.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, no. Well, I'm being honest.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

So no, they don't care. They deal with stuff all day long and you weren't like, isn't that count for something? If you didn't mean to be like, can't we just all. If you. If you don't mean to be rude and someone thinks you're rude, can't you let yourself off the hook? I, I can, but I can't let myself off the hook if someone thinks I suck at something I did, like career wise. And I tried. That won't. That will make me feel better. Be like, well, you tried your best, right? That doesn't help. But if someone thinks I'm rude when I really wasn't being rude, I'm like, oh, well, that's kind of their problem.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, that's a great corollary because let's say I just went up on stage and I didn't do well, and then I come off stage and I go, did I just bomb?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

How would you. What? Would you just go, yeah, I have a friend.

[Noah Avior]

I have a friend who does suck.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, and then you go up there and annihilate. So what's then what do I think?

[Noah Avior]

If they suck, they just listen. Some of you. I bomb all the time. That's what I would say. I would say, oh, I've had a set like that. You were just off like, yeah, yeah. It's not always them. And it wasn't them this time because I just killed. But yeah, you just had a bet. I'm not going to judge you for it. I would never look at that performance and be like, that guy sucks. Like, you're allowed to have a shitty set. That's what I would say.

[Brian Frangie]

Okay, so what do you think about this? I have a friend who does the exact opposite tact and he just says like the worst possible thing you can say in an effort to get you to just come to terms with it immediately so you can move on. It's like, for example, I had a girlfriend once. And she broke up with me. And I go, I go to my friend, do you think she's like having sex with other people right now? And he was like, probably, yeah. What do you think about that tactic?

[Grant]

Brutal honesty?

[Brian Frangie]

Probably. Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

She's probably puts a tact and tactic. I think that. Yeah, I don't think that's. Yeah, sometimes you just do need to know the truth and. Yeah. Because sometimes people are like, my life sucks. And I'm like, yeah, it kind of does. But like, it's going to get better. It can't get worse. Like, I think being lied to is. Doesn't do anyone any favors. But yeah, that happened. Where someone is like, is just the pain of thinking them hooking up with someone else. And I'm like, they definitely are. And I thought that I just am like, yeah, but it's like sad and empty and oh, see what undercut. They'll miss you. It'll make them miss you faster. So let them go out there and do that stuff.

[Brian Frangie]

That's interesting. Yeah. Whenever someone goes through a bad breakup, I always give them my tact. Is always to give them false hope because you gotta slowly dribble it out of them until they have no hope. But you can't just go straight to, yeah, they're someone else and they love them more than you. And they're never coming back.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, no, I do. I never do the never coming back. I always say, girl, I got back with my boyfriend, who I'm with now so many times. We broke up so many times, I thought it was over forever. There is never. You are never out of hope. And I will never judge you if you reach out to that person at a time of weakness. Like, like, just make do. Be as messy as you want to be. It's part of it.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. Having that glimmer of hope and then. And then on top of that, the person who you say that to, that's exactly what they want to hear. Whether it's true or not. When you go through a breakup, the number one thing you want to hear is you're probably going to get back together.

[Noah Avior]

Yes.

[Brian Frangie]

Even if that's not good for you.

[Noah Avior]

I always say that. I go, you're getting back together. And never.

[Grant]

I don't ever want to say that. That's so interesting that that's what you say. My go to is always like, which I don't know if it's a good one, but it's always like, you know, every relationship has a purpose that's, you know, this one will mean something. In your life.

[Noah Avior]

Maybe you can't be sad about a relationship. I'm not out of just based on this. Every relationship has a purpose. Okay? When people are like. Like, you are starving to get back into that and you're like, but what if it doesn't help you? It's. But just give them hope. Like, what is it? Because sometimes you just need the hope. It's not even gonna. It's not gonna lead to. They're already as upse possible. Right?

[Brian Frangie]

When it's that raw, you're not ready to have a holistic, big picture approach to this relationship.

[Noah Avior]

Not at all. Just tell people they'll get back together. Tell them that they're going to regret it because ultimately they probably will get back together. A lot of times that does happen. So you won't be wrong.

[Grant]

I never trash the other person because of this.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, I do that so hard. I go so hard. I will find. I. There are people that are currently with people that I have said horrible things about their physicality because that's what I do. When Schumer used to do that with me and my friends, like, when we would be obsessing over a guy, she would just, like, fight. Like, you know, if I think one guy looked like a. Like, she was like, he looks like a marionette. And so we just were sending each other pictures of marionettes and being like, do you really want this guy? And you just, like, write. You write the most awful things possible about the person so that the person is. Almost tries to be disgusted by them. And. And it's fun. It's fun to just like, really bully someone with your group of friends in a.

[Brian Frangie]

When they're an enemy. When they're.

[Noah Avior]

When they have an enemy, but then they get back together and. Yeah, it's a little bit weird, but, like, I stand by what I said. He did look like a fetus. He does have fetus face. But it's like a hot fetus. Like, a lot of guys have fetus face and it's like a hot look.

[Brian Frangie]

What is fetus?

[Noah Avior]

I can't even go into it because I feel like it will implicate my friend.

[Brian Frangie]

But you know when you see it.

[Noah Avior]

Like, you know how fetuses, like, look like. Like they're like their eyes are almost quam. Like, does.

[Brian Frangie]

Does Elon Musk have fetus face?

[Noah Avior]

I say quam as in, like, clam. Like, they're like clamshells. Like, they're like, kind of like. And I'm don't think that I'm saying Anything about an ethnicity here? No, it's like not.

[Brian Frangie]

Isn't one of your high school terms?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. There was a guy who my friend was dating and this was while they were dating. Happy. But we, we called him. We can't really. I can't really get into it, but we said he. It's too cruel because if anyone were to connect it, I can't handle it. But his eyes were quam eyes where the skin on the top was the same as the skin on the bottom.

[Brian Frangie]

So they looked like like little clams.

[Noah Avior]

Like clams.

[Brian Frangie]

Like a cartoon character drawn poorly.

[Noah Avior]

He kind of talked like this. Like he had, like. He kind of just like had a lock jaw and so he would have said it like quam. So we called him.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

I mean, this is insane.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

But yeah, so. So I once called a guy a fetus face and I like put his picture next to pictures of fetuses. Like I downloaded an app so that I could like have the square next to the like, you know, pictures of fetuses and then him and be like, find which one is him. Like, you can't tell. Just so I could really drive it home that he was not attractive, but he is attractive.

[Brian Frangie]

And so fetus is in the, in the womb. It's a fetus. As soon as it comes out. It's not a fetus.

[Grant]

No.

[Noah Avior]

Newborn to fetus. Newborn. Like, you know, like new. Like where their eyes are like, like, like, like, like Pokemon balls.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, yeah. Lizard like.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, a little bit. It's. It's rude. And someone could call me horse face and they have. I mean, there's a million things that I could be called. I also.

[Grant]

When you said this to your friend, did she laugh at it?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, she laughed, but she was also like, stop. Like she told me to stop, so I stopped. Pret. I. I just wanted them to know. I just. Yeah, I was trying to help. And yet it didn't because they're there together and it. I'm sure she doesn't think about it. And I, I don't really think about it because I now I love this person. I could never see that in them now. It's like a hot look. Yeah, but there. And I even went so far as to prove that this was a hot look by making a collage of every Hollywood actor that has fetus. And there's tons who. Give me one example because then we're going to be able to connect who they look like and you're going to be able to decipher. And I just cannot have that out there, but it's not fetus. I was just trying to be the meanest version of this, even though I was calling a hot guy feature a bad thing. Yeah, that's just what you do have. You. Do you do that, Noah.

[Grant]

What? No, I. I have to be honest to friends. And I also am very cautious because a lot of my friends have gotten back together with their exes. So I've learned my lesson to not trash the ex, because then it's like, wait, you know?

[Noah Avior]

But I am a very forgiving person, and so I guess I extend that to all of my friends. Where if, like, I've. I've thought things about Chris that are not kind because I've been broken up or I've been in a fight and we all have. About our partner, where we've, like, sure. And if I can get back and, like, never see those things again or, like, have no problem with those things, I expect my friends to be able to do the same thing. But when they're in a place of hurt, I think it's nice to pile on, and I just expect them to be able to lift it as soon as they get back together. But I do. Yeah.

[Grant]

The opposite, where I just kind of, like, pile on the compliments to my friend and say why she was so great and. Or in some cases, it's a guy and why, like, it's the other person's loss and stuff like that.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, but that's. That's not gonna work. That's just like banging your head against the wall because the person doesn' Believe that in the moment. Because they.

[Noah Avior]

They.

[Brian Frangie]

When you get broken up with, you feel like such a piece of.

[Noah Avior]

I always think of When Harry Met Sally, where she goes, but he didn't want me. She was like. I said. He said he didn't want to get married, but now he's engaged, so what's wrong with me? And it's like, oh, man, haven't we all felt that? Where the, like, the guy tries to let you down softly by saying, I don't want to date anyone. I'm busy. And then you find out he's dating someone else. And so you're like, it has to be me, and it is you. Yeah, I have them.

[Grant]

Maybe you guys can help me. He is just constantly getting friend zoned, and I feel so bad for him because he'll tap into the dating scene, he'll get someone's attention, and then he gets friend zoned. And how tall is he? He's like 5 10.

[Brian Frangie]

Okay, so. Okay. It's not bad. So how is he attractive?

[Grant]

He's average looking.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Okay, okay, okay. So he shouldn't have a problem. There isn't like some huge barrier to him, like.

[Grant]

Well, I think he's a hopeless romantic, to be honest. And he just puts the cart before the horse sometimes, you know?

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

And he piles on the gifts and things like that too early.

[Brian Frangie]

That's the mistake.

[Grant]

And compliments and all that.

[Brian Frangie]

So every date, every date he goes on, he has to treat like, this is not going to go anywhere. This is just for fun and we'll see where it goes. He's got to apply that SoCal vibe mentality. Whatever happens happens, man. Which is like the most frustrating thing to hear from someone you actually like. But it's the only way to lock someone in. Whatever happens happens. I'm just seeing where this goes. I don't know, maybe this is something. Maybe it's not for at least like a month. You got to do that.

[Noah Avior]

Okay.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, but.

[Noah Avior]

Or he just needs to be direct about what he's into right away. And like, that's exactly what I told him yesterday. And not because I think he's probably scared of the rejection that has happened so much that he's like, if I. I can at least keep her around and go out with her and hang out with her a lot, if I just kind of keep it nebulous of like, whether or not I'm romantically interested and not, like, lead either way. And so then by the time he's like, can't take it anymore, it's too late.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. I was talking about if you're going on dates with people on like, on like an app or something, like, it's a clear date.

[Noah Avior]

No, this isn't. This isn't that.

[Brian Frangie]

He's just hanging out with girls that are. Consider him his, then. Yeah, he shouldn't be friends with them if he wants to.

[Noah Avior]

I'm sorry. These girls know, like, I. Listen, we've been there before, but I think you can know when a guy has a crush on you and it's not up to them to. To say something because I think that sometimes it's like I've had guys turn on me and be like, I like you. And I'm like, I just want to be friends. And then they're like, don't want to be friends anymore. And it hurts your feelings because you're like, but I had. There was a good friendship here. But girls, you know when a guy is crushing on you and that he. You're just Trying to give him all the signals without, like, saying it bluntly, like, no, you know, but you don't. And then finally he gets the nerve to do something a little romantic and. And then it's just awkward. It's like just. You need to talk about boys a lot in front of these guys. If you want a guy friend, they got to be comfortable hearing about guys. Or like, you know, that you can't avoid those kind of subjects to keep the guy happy or to keep the guy your friend. And I think sometimes that happens.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, don't avoid the subjects. And also, yeah, I think it's on both people. I think it's on if the girl knows that the guy's crushing on him and there's no chance, then she's being selfish because she doesn't want to be mean and just say like, no, we can't be friends if you. If this is the way it's going to be. Because that seems mean. And also it's selfish because it's like, well, I kind of like having this guy fawn over me. Especially if I'm going through a bad situation with a guy. Actually, like, it's so nice to have some guy who would, like, take a bullet for me, fawning over me for as long as I want, doing whatever I want. Yeah, it's hard to let go of something like that for the guy. It's like, if you want to get down with a chick, then you can't. You gotta. You can't let that happen. You just gotta walk away. I mean, you can't be in that situation. It's just so.

[Grant]

You're right.

[Brian Frangie]

It's just so. I don't want to be mean to this guy, but it's just so pathetic. If you go on. If you go on, like, man Internet, like stuff like the Joe Rogan sphere, they'll say this phrase, don't put the pussy on a pedestal. And you know, obviously that's a crazy phrase and it says pussy and whatever, but it's so true. And when I was dating, it actually helped me to think like, that it's like, you can't just because they're a hot girl, you can't just say that they are above you and, like, they're the queen and you're this peasant. You have to put everyone at your level.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, yeah, that easier said, but yes.

[Brian Frangie]

Especially if she's so hot and you.

[Noah Avior]

Guys are just craving sticking your dick in something so badly you, like, can't help it. It's like, it's. You can't have mind over matter. Like, you just. Your body wants it and you'll just fall over yourselves to get it. I mean, yeah. Even hot. Hot girls intimidate me and make me want to act differently around them. And I have to not put the pussy on the pedestal and just be like, just because she's hot does not mean she's better than me. Or doesn't mean I. Yeah. Doesn't mean she's better than me or that I am somehow beneath her. But I. I tend to feel that way a lot of times.

[Brian Frangie]

You know what Neil Strauss said? The game. The game or the.

[Noah Avior]

Well, that's what these guys need to read. Yeah. The pelican. What's the mystery peacock?

[Brian Frangie]

Mystery peacock guy. He said, yeah, that girl's hot. Like, you're hot and all, but hotness is common. He would say, there's so many hot girls out there. It's like just.

[Noah Avior]

You go on TikTok and Instagram and you're like, there's so many hot girls. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. And maybe none of them will fudge you. Fine. But there's. There's. You just move on to the next one. If they don't like you, there's plenty of.

[Noah Avior]

One of them that interesting to be hot.

[Brian Frangie]

One of them will fuck you eventually. If they're in the right state of mind. If they're just, like, depressed, they want to rebound.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Or if they've just been through a relationship where the person was hot and a piece of shit. They're going to be open for a nice guy who's maybe not as hot, but. But is ready for, like, a relationship that's loving. You just got to meet the person where they are. You'll find them.

[Noah Avior]

I'm really glad to have to be in a relationship because I can have guy friends because I'm in a secure relationship where my boyfriend doesn't care if I have guy friends that are like, my friends that I've known forever. And we have our own relationships, and he doesn't need to monitor it because he's secure in our relationship. If he wasn't, he would be like, what are you hanging out with new guys? And then also the guy friends I have know I'm in a relationship that's secure, and so there's no weirdness there either. And it's like a. I think it's a place I've never been in in my entire life where I feel secure on both sides.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

And I didn't think that I would ever have that, of being able to have guy friends that are separate than my friendship with Chris or, like, you know, from. They don't need to be our friends. I mean, most of them are, because why not? I love Chris and he's my friend, so why wouldn't I always want to combine all my friends? But I'm able. I would be able to have male friends because. And I don't think Chris and I have always been in that secure where I would have been okay with that or him having girlfriends or me having guy friends. And now I feel like, oh, this makes sense, because we just both know we ain't going nowhere.

[Brian Frangie]

Do you have guy friends that are not in. In the industry?

[Noah Avior]

No, because that's how I don't have friends that are not for. I mean, I have girlfriends, you know, from high school, but other than that, I mean, Saralina is my only friend that I've made that's new. That's not in the industry, but she is in the industry now. So everyone I know I've met through. Through work.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, that makes. So that makes more sense to me, even outside of comedy, like you. Because these are like co workers that have become your friends in a way.

[Noah Avior]

Yes.

[Brian Frangie]

And even if you just start out doing open mics with them and it doesn't feel like a workplace in a way, it is a workplace. And so, like, if Allie just had some guy friend that was like, I don't know, she met at a bar or that was in a pilates class, that would be. That would be intriguing. But if there's a bunch of guys that she, like, is friends with because she worked with them for four years, different to me is no threat at all.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, I agree. I agree. I think it is different if I just, like, walked in one day, was like, I'm gonna go start hanging out with Tom, who I met my pilates class, who's a straight man who just wants to hang. First of all, he knows that I'm not, like, hard up for new friends. And unless this person was hilarious. Like, that's the thing is I get to be friends with, like, really hilarious people. And so it justifies it where I'm like, okay, I'm sorry, I'm gonna be friends with David Spade.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, that's a.

[Noah Avior]

That's. Anyone would. You know? And you don't get. You don't have to question that because it's like, okay, that's a pre premium friend. Yeah. Okay, we gotta go break it. I want to. When we get back, I'm having this laser thing that we talked about yesterday done to my face in a couple hours and I want to ask Noah like what it's gonna be like because I'm a little scared. Back after for this.

[Nikki Glaser]

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[Brian Frangie]

I'm Grant and I'm your new Bachelor.

[Nikki Glaser]

ABC Monday Is this real?

[Noah Avior]

Is he real?

[Nikki Glaser]

The Bachelor is back and the ladies are head over heels.

[Noah Avior]

Tall, handsome, smart, he's perfect.

[Nikki Glaser]

It's an all new season of romance.

[Brian Frangie]

I'm 110% ready to fall in love. My love story is gonna happen.

[Nikki Glaser]

And of course drama.

[Brian Frangie]

These other girls are dating my boyfriend.

[Noah Avior]

You act like you don't care. He knows how I feel. I did not know how hard this was going to be.

[Nikki Glaser]

The Bachelor premieres Monday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Noah Avior]

This message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly. Set up chores, automate allowance and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk [e-mail] iheart have you.

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[Noah Avior]

All right, so after this, I'm going to get the Moxi BBL Brazilian butt lift. Is that, is that what it's the bbl?

[Grant]

Yeah. Bbl.

[Noah Avior]

Don't know what it stands for. Don't care. What made you get it, Noah? Was it just recommended to you by your esthetician?

[Grant]

So my hairdresser recommended it because her skin is beautiful. She's maybe two years younger than me and she just looks great. So. And she's very forthcoming with all the things she does, which is what I really appreciate about her because she shares it and she was the one who told me about it and she had sent me to the girl who does it for me now. And it's great.

[Noah Avior]

How many times have you done it?

[Grant]

I've done it three times.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, wow. How often I.

[Grant]

So I told the girl, I was like, this is my push present to myself.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Grant]

Which is a, a present that you get after you push out a baby. And I was like, for the first year, I just want to be like on top of it, aggressive and just like, you know, give myself a little bit of a rejuvenation. So I did it. I think I did it every like two months. And then this year I'll do it once a quarter.

[Noah Avior]

Like, okay, taxes. And have you already seen results?

[Grant]

Oh, yeah, for sure. It definitely improves the surface of my skin. The one thing I wanted to warn you about that freaked me out at first. So basically what will happen is like your skin, like all these brown spots happen from burning it and then all this stuff comes out and you'll see kind of like varicose veins on your nose. You might see that.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, I've seen that before on microneedling and stuff.

[Grant]

Yeah. And I was like, oh my God, am I gonna have an old man's nose from now? And this is like my grandfather's nose.

[Noah Avior]

Right? Right. It looks like an alcoholic sun beaten.

[Grant]

Right.

[Noah Avior]

Shipwrecked nose.

[Grant]

Yeah, exactly. But it does go away. Okay.

[Noah Avior]

In time it's like five days. Right. And then you can probably put makeup on it after like the second day.

[Grant]

I'm guessing it just depends how much of it starts to fall off. Like for me it started to flake off from center to the, to like where my ears are. So I could kind of put foundation over the front.

[Brian Frangie]

What is this doing?

[Noah Avior]

Like it gives you good skin texture.

[Brian Frangie]

By burning off the top layer of skin and then you just have like fresh skin underneath.

[Noah Avior]

I think it's much more complex than that. It like.

[Grant]

Oh yeah.

[Noah Avior]

So much boost your collagen. It boosts your.

[Grant]

I barely have any makeup on and it gives me. It gives me like a you know like glow. Like redneck. Not red cheeks, but just kind of like healthy looking cheeks, you know.

[Noah Avior]

Wow. And how much was it? I mean this is not cheap shit.

[Grant]

No, it also depends like where you live and stuff.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, that's true.

[Unknown]

Cheaper here.

[Noah Avior]

Tucson, you can just go lay out.

[Brian Frangie]

In the sun and it'll burn off.

[Grant]

Well, the sun here is really bad. I mean I used to never put sunscreen on my face, but I have to now.

[Noah Avior]

You never put sunscreen on before?

[Grant]

Unfortunately. Just like the way that I was raised, my parents were always putting us out in the sun and lathering us up with baby oil.

[Noah Avior]

Oh my God.

[Grant]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Baby in the name. Put it on your babies.

[Grant]

Exactly. We would spend the whole day at the beach.

[Noah Avior]

Just wait.

[Brian Frangie]

Is baby oil not for babies?

[Noah Avior]

I think it is for babies, but I don't think it's for like babies sun bathing in the sun.

[Brian Frangie]

No.

[Grant]

Yeah, I don't know what it's some.

[Brian Frangie]

More information on bbls.

[Noah Avior]

Okay, let us know what it does.

[Brian Frangie]

Now I'm subscribed to like 7 only fans accounts but I have moxie and BBL is actually two different things.

[Grant]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

And you're getting a bundle probably with where you get both at once.

[Noah Avior]

Yes, exactly. So glad you look at this. Off. I just blindly go into these things. Okay.

[Grant]

I don't care. Just make me look good.

[Brian Frangie]

It VBL is a intense pulsed light that stands for broadband light and Okay, I thought Moxie they say is a non ablative fractional laser energy. Now what that means.

[Noah Avior]

Okay. Does it hurt? I heard it doesn't hurt.

[Grant]

Moxie feels like you're getting warm kisses on your face.

[Noah Avior]

Great.

[Grant]

BBL feels like you're getting little nails dug into your skin. But they usually numb you before. But still got it like a little bit.

[Noah Avior]

But you'll.

[Grant]

You'll be able to handle it.

[Brian Frangie]

Here's also what you need to know. Moxie is more expensive. Almost twice as expensive as bbl.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, all right.

[Brian Frangie]

Maybe Moxie is like the more advanced one that like doesn't hurt as much.

[Noah Avior]

This isn't fair to people who can't afford it. I just want to just reiterate that if you can't afford this, just please know that it's like when you look at someone's nice car and your car is not nice, like you can't compare it. You're just like, oh, that person has a nice car. And I. But it's, it's not fair because people aren't just put slapping Moxie BBL brand sticker on their forehead. So you know, that's what they've done. They just seem to be better than you for some reason. Or they, they eat cleaner or something, which is a part of it too.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, that's why people love making fun of someone when they get bad work done. Because it's like, haha, you spend all your money and now you look like.

[Noah Avior]

This when their Palisades house burns down. Like, I'm jealous. You have money and I want it to backfire on you.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

And you know, we. It's a natural reaction to feel that way. I almost went off. I. You know how sometimes I'll just like write out a comment and I'll be like, and I want to send it and then I don't. I did that today with. There's something about Taylor Swift's jet. And it was like all of the shortest trips Taylor Swift ever took on her jet. The shortest trip she ever took was four miles, which is walking distance. It's like, okay, you want Taylor Swift to walk four miles in Paris or like in, in the outside in the Paris countries or the southern French French countryside.

[Brian Frangie]

Why not take a car though? Why'd you take a jet for miles?

[Noah Avior]

I don't know. I don't know. But they're like, it was to save money. I'm like, I doubt that. I think it was probably for security and like it's not the problem. Again, like this is. The oil companies are the problem with climate change, not celebrities taking private fudgeing jets. It's what the oil companies did was they made a bunch of propaganda. And that is part of it is just to blame it on celebr and you and your carbon footprint when really they could do even a little thing and it would be immensely more than you could ever do in a thousand lifetimes of Recycling and not taking jets and taking the bus and riding your bike. It doesn't put a fucking dent in anything compared to what they could do just a fraction of. And so stop blaming Taylor Swift. And by the way, Taylor Swift, if you were her, you'd be taking these people who are like, I can't believe she could have walked that. You would have taken a private jet a mile. Like, all these people who are judging, they would kill for that kind of money to be able to not fly Southwest. They all would do it. I, I, Unless you are, like, the head of PETA or the. An ambassador of Greenpeace, I don't think you can put your money where your mouth is when you, when you judge these people for spending all this money. I think you would do the same thing if you had.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, even the ambassadors of Greenpeace do it. The people who are in charge of these charities, once they get a little bit of money, they start doing all this shit, and then, and then it comes out five years later where it's like, corrupt CEO of Greenpeace actually spent $7 million on a house in the Turks and Caicos.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

If you want people to fix the world, you should be looking to activists and politicians. And, of course, celebrity can become an activist, but, like, you can't expect, like, Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise to fix climate change. It's insane.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. But it just seems like they should be able to because we have them. We have their pussies on such pedestals.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[Noah Avior]

Like, it does make sense that we go, like, why can't you speak up more like, you know, Taylor Swift endorsing Kamala felt like that was gonna do it.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. And it just calling them weird. I mean, what the fuck? How could that combination not have worked?

[Noah Avior]

It's so funny. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, and to say then their whole strategy was, I mean, we decided to call them weird and yet Taylor Swift to endorse them, and it didn't work. And their whole strategy was just, what, to, like, convince the majority of Americans to vote for them? I mean, how could. How did that work?

[Noah Avior]

By running incessant ad campaigns that instilled fear where there shouldn't be. I mean, it's not like they didn't do anything. They weren't just like, Brian, you can't just say they were just running a honest, sincere, noble campaign by any stretch of the imagination.

[Brian Frangie]

No, no, no. Certainly not.

[Noah Avior]

And isn't it? It is. Have you guys. The TikTok Band was insane. I think it's so funny that like, there's so many people working on, like, sketches about it. And by the time they, like, shot their sketch, that was going to be, like, so viral on reels about the TikTok ban. It was already lifted. That was so funny.

[Brian Frangie]

Did you see that? A bunch of. There was a.

[Noah Avior]

People were crying. It's like, people are going crazy.

[Brian Frangie]

People on Tick Tock who decided to come clean about their accounts before the. Did you see this?

[Noah Avior]

I'm gonna miss this. I'm gonna miss this community where I got $6,000 a week from posting a video of my tits. Wait, what? Wait. Oh, I saw one guy coming clean. Was like, I'm just gonna say it. I don't like black people. It was just like, wait, what? What? This isn't what this is. This isn't like you're on the. The gallows and you get to say your, like, last final statements. Are you talking about that guy? There was one guy that was like, I want to talk about who I don't like. And he said that he didn't like black people at the gym because black people are already.

[Brian Frangie]

That's crazy.

[Noah Avior]

Physically superior. So why are they at the gym when he. He should be in the gym trying to keep up with whatever they are. Naturally. I mean, it was insane.

[Brian Frangie]

First of all, lead with that. Don't end with it. It's like the ship's going down. That's such a weird impulse.

[Noah Avior]

He was like, I don't care anymore.

[Brian Frangie]

If you're in the Titanic and it's going down, your last thing to do is to be like, guess what? I hate black people. That's so crazy to think that it was.

[Noah Avior]

It was nuts. So I saw that. Wait, what did you see?

[Brian Frangie]

So shit you should care about the account. Shit you should care about is leading the journalism on this. And they found that there was a bunch of accounts on TikTok, popular accounts where the influencers came clean as to why their accounts were frauds. Like, for example, there was one fitness influencer who says, I posted those workouts. I never did any of those workouts. Like, stuff like that.

[Grant]

What?

[Noah Avior]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Frangie]

I, I. Or like a cooking channel. And they were like, they know there.

[Noah Avior]

Are other platforms that they can go.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, that's the thing about Tick Tock. That's that the Tick Tockers. That's insane. Is that, like, they're acting like Tick Tock is the only social media platform. They're acting like Tick Tock. They can't have any other access to social media.

[Noah Avior]

That's really interesting. I never even considered that people that are telling me what workouts to do might not be doing them.

[Brian Frangie]

They're not doing that.

[Noah Avior]

I'm like, how do their bodies look like that then? But it's like, oh, they could just be like, naturally fit in that way.

[Brian Frangie]

Or they're doing like, less, like half of them or eating well and doing half of them. But, like, you're posting every day a workout. Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

Cool sculpting.

[Brian Frangie]

Cool sculpting. I don't know what that is that.

[Noah Avior]

I would not do because I've seen too many horrors of cool sculpting. But I will say I would love to go through my phone and see how many different squat workouts that I have saved that I have never once done ever, ever of, like, the right positioning. I. I have this one girl who's Irish who screams at me about your ladies in the gym doing your squats. You need to do it the right way. She just. Her thing is that she's really cool.

[Brian Frangie]

I like that.

[Noah Avior]

I forget her name. I wish I could remember it. She. She pops up all the time for me. And then I have. Yeah, but I. I have so many different. I just. If. If I'm doing a squat the wrong way, it's because I. There's. There's no excuse for me to do a squat. So all I have is showing me the wrong way in the right way.

[Grant]

What is that what you're saving on Instagram mostly workout videos?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, workout videos. And like every morning I get up and I do this with my. My hands gua sha. Where it's like draining your face. Or it's. Yeah, it's. It's all those where I'm just saving different workouts that I never do. And I did do some gym workouts when I was in Hawaii for our vacation, and I just did ones I never went to, the ones on Instagram that I saved. I just went to like, gym workout 20 minutes and did those. And those are really fun.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, that's what I used to do all the time. I mean, before I went back to Equinox, I would do the. I would do Pop Sugar.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, in your house, I would do Pop Sugar.

[Brian Frangie]

I would do TV 12, as we all know. But I would do Popsugar also. Yeah. In my house. Yeah, you can just type in 20 Minute Workout on YouTube. Pop Sugar. And they have a lot of great ones. They have Apple Fitness now, which is also good. But yeah, that's. There's no replacement for, in my opinion, weightlifting. So when you do Squats. Are you using, like, a bar? You're talking about, like, body weight squats?

[Noah Avior]

No, what I'm doing, like. No, what I'm doing, like, with dumbbells.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, yeah, you're holding dumbbells.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. And sometimes, like, sometimes I'll do a bar and do, like, you know, Deadlifts.

[Brian Frangie]

Huh?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, that kind of like, just the positioning. I know all the positions for the different squats variations you can do because I've just watched the videos a million times. And I also watch, like, videos about, you know, pelvic tilt constantly. And there is literally no one I can find who has fixed with evidence their posterior pelvic tilt. There's a million videos about doing it, but it. It must be something that takes literal years to do. I got this. This special chiropractic thing that you're not even supposed to be able to buy unless you're like an. You know, the guy that was talking about it, he was on a YouTube video. He was like, it's a traction tool, and it had. It's like a foam kind of block, and at the top it has like, a thinner line, so it's like, really digs in, you know, and it's like a five inch block. And you lay your back on it. Because I'm just trying to open up my lower lumbar back and get some lordosis back in that. And you just lay on it. But he said, you only do this. Hold it for one minute.

[Brian Frangie]

Hold it for one minute back in this bitch.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. Lordosis is when your spine kind of goes in. And in order to have an ass, you got to have that little, like, curve of the spine in. So your ass goes boop and mine does not. It just goes straight down. And if I had the curve, my already flat ass would get it would give it something else. So I'm trying to bend my back in by laying on this fucking block that the guy said you should never. You should not do this without a professional. And I'm just laying on it all day long. I'm gonna. I'm gonna up my back so bad. I can just feel it already. But it's stretching out my back, I think. I hope it's. It seems like a medieval torture device.

[Brian Frangie]

I have a. I want to say something about just, like, exercise in general, because I did something yesterday that I've never done before, which is I got a DEXA scan. You ever get done one of those?

[Noah Avior]

No. What?

[Brian Frangie]

A body specific. It's one. It's a. It's a full body Scan that measures your body fat and your muscle and your bones and stuff like that.

[Noah Avior]

Do you have to, like, breathe while you're, like, with a mask on, while you're running on a treadmill? I did that.

[Brian Frangie]

No, no, it's just laying down. It was really easy. It took, like, less than 10 minutes. You just lay down, and you. This thing slowly scans you. And they say. So weird. They say in the fac. In the FAQ is a lot of radiation to do these DEXA scans, and they say it's about the same amount of radiation as eating four bananas. Did you know that you get radiation from bananas?

[Noah Avior]

No.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, you can give your number to.

[Noah Avior]

A guy through a banana, but yeah. That's nuts. Okay. So I was doing this comparison.

[Brian Frangie]

$60 for the.

[Noah Avior]

Where?

[Grant]

Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

Where do your gym facilities? All over. At least SoCal.

[Noah Avior]

So you just got some numbers. You got your body fat percentage. You got what?

[Brian Frangie]

Breakdown. Your. Your bone density, your body fat, your visceral fat, like, all these little categories, and it's really easy and quick, and so I wanted to find out if I was a fat piece of shit or not, because I.

[Noah Avior]

You're not.

[Brian Frangie]

Well, I went to the.

[Noah Avior]

I told you by looking at you.

[Brian Frangie]

That's what my. I went to a gastro doctor and I said, am I a fat piece of shit? And he said, no, you look like you're in great shape. You're doing better than me. And I said, oh, great. And then I went to my primary care physician and I said, am I a fat piece of shit? And he said, well, you know, you got a lot of fat around your belly so you could lose weight. So I wanted to get a DEXA scan to see which person was right. Am I fat or not? Turns out I'm fat.

[Noah Avior]

You are?

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, I'm fat.

[Noah Avior]

What. What do you. Let me guess your percentage. Can I guess?

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, my body fat percentage?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. No, you want to get on. On this, because I believe men are supposed to be around, like, 6% or something, and I think women are, like, 115% fat. Like, our fat is, like, crazy compared to men's.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

But I think are under 10, so I'm gonna guess you're like 9.

[Brian Frangie]

No, under 10 would be like 9.

[Noah Avior]

11.

[Brian Frangie]

I. Yeah, 9. I'm. You have to be between 9 and 11 in order to.

[Noah Avior]

Wait, is it. Am I so off. What is supposed to be?

[Brian Frangie]

If you're under 10, you are like, a ripped God.

[Noah Avior]

Okay?

[Brian Frangie]

That's like a professional athlete. I think if you're under 20, you're you're in good shape. You're not under 50. But if you're. If you're.

[Grant]

What are you under 50?

[Noah Avior]

He's definitely.

[Brian Frangie]

I don't even think it's humanly possible. Is it possible to be over half fat?

[Noah Avior]

You know what?

[Grant]

I don't even know what BMI thing is.

[Brian Frangie]

You can be 50.

[Noah Avior]

BMI is an old archaic tool, I believe.

[Brian Frangie]

No.

[Noah Avior]

What are you? Drum.

[Brian Frangie]

So I.

[Noah Avior]

30.

[Brian Frangie]

17. 30.8 body fat. What's interesting is that it's all around my stomach. Like, I. My arms and legs are mostly muscle and.

[Noah Avior]

Which is new for you.

[Brian Frangie]

As you aged, it's definitely been getting bigger. It's because I stopped weightlifting.

[Noah Avior]

Oh.

[Brian Frangie]

One. Now I've started again. I'm getting my muscle back and I. It's doing TB12 and pop sugar only. I'm telling you. It just doesn't work. Just doesn't work. Gotta lift weights.

[Noah Avior]

God damn it. I know you gotta lift weights. It's not enough.

[Brian Frangie]

But here's the weirdest thing that I. That I discovered. So I have my. I don't have an unhealthy amount of fat. The fat's actually pretty good. But I. So it's like just superficial fat that I can get rid of. But what's really interesting is my bone density. I am in the lowest 8% of bone density in the. In the country in my age group.

[Noah Avior]

That's horrible.

[Brian Frangie]

I've got horrible. And so. And here's the thing. My arms and legs bones are in like, the 80 percentile. So I have super good bones in my arms and legs, but I have a really low bone in my torso and head.

[Noah Avior]

I think you need to get a second Dexatrim study. I really do. Dexa scan.

[Brian Frangie]

You think this is a mistake.

[Noah Avior]

This is crazy that you. That your pelvis is like four bananas in terms of the sturdiness and then the rest of you is like Steel Bee trunks.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. That's crazy. Okay.

[Brian Frangie]

I got really bad bone dental.

[Noah Avior]

What are you supposed to do for that? What do you do for your bone density and your torso?

[Brian Frangie]

Well, so I don't know. Like, you. You can gain bone density by taking supplements, like. Like vitamin D, magnesium, and calcium, which I'm already taking.

[Noah Avior]

I was already low on these. That your bones are, like, kind of brittle. Like, can you feel it?

[Brian Frangie]

No, my bones feel great. But it is something over time. You know, you can get osteoporosis as you get older. They can break easily. But I. The way you build your bones is by exerting weight on them so that your body is like, we need more bone here.

[Noah Avior]

Yes.

[Brian Frangie]

And that comes from weightlifting, which I need to just get back to. And I'm gonna get my bones up, but I just don't know how to make my, my head bone bigger. Like, how do you put weight on that, like, helmet.

[Noah Avior]

I might have to wear a helmet, honestly. Yeah, that's okay. So I'm glad you got this information. I don't know what you're gonna do with it, if it's gonna make you better or worse. When we get back, I want to ask you one more question.

[Brian Frangie]

I'm Grant and I'm your new Bachelor.

[Nikki Glaser]

ABC Monday.

[Noah Avior]

Is this real?

[Brian Frangie]

Is he real?

[Nikki Glaser]

The Bachelor is back and the ladies are head over heels.

[Noah Avior]

Tall, handsome, smart. He's perfect.

[Nikki Glaser]

It's an all new season of romance.

[Brian Frangie]

I'm 110% ready to fall in love. My love story is gonna happen.

[Nikki Glaser]

And of course, drama.

[Brian Frangie]

These other girls are dating my boyfriend.

[Noah Avior]

You act like you don't care. He knows how I feel. I did not know how hard this was gonna be.

[Nikki Glaser]

The Bachelor premieres Monday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Unknown]

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[Noah Avior]

Nyx?

[Unknown]

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[Noah Avior]

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[Nikki Glaser]

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[Noah Avior]

I have a question for you guys. If you could have one thing in your life, just snap of the fingers and it's done. Like whether it's a home project, a personal project, a physical thing that you want done that is within the realm of you could do it.

[Brian Frangie]

It.

[Noah Avior]

Okay. Like it isn't just. It's not like you win the lottery kind of thing and you have a yacht or something, but like something that you're like, God, it's just like weighing you down that you could do and you maybe aren't gonna get around to. What would that thing be like?

[Brian Frangie]

Are you saying like a task or like a skill?

[Noah Avior]

A task. A task. Not even task but like it could be like I want to get in good shape and I wish I could just snap my finger. I know that would take months to do, but it could be that. But what it what is your guys's Mine is.

[Grant]

Although it would be the get in shape thing, but the more practical one is to finally finish my wedding album.

[Noah Avior]

What? No one's clamoring for that hun. But I.

[Grant]

We have already paid for this wedding album and it's been almost a year and I have not finished Harding the photos.

[Noah Avior]

Why are you doing it then if you're paying for it?

[Brian Frangie]

It.

[Grant]

Because every time I start doing it I get distracted and I'm like I don't want to go through no, I.

[Noah Avior]

Mean like why are they putting it together for you?

[Grant]

Because we have to choose which photos we want in there.

[Noah Avior]

Okay.

[Grant]

And then they. The company puts it together, and so.

[Noah Avior]

It'S like, out of thousands of photos, you have to choose, like, a hundred.

[Grant]

Yeah, I'm like, three quarters of the way there, but I just cannot finish.

[Brian Frangie]

You're gonna waste your wish on this? I feel like you could do this in an afternoon.

[Noah Avior]

No, wait, why. What is the hold up? Like, why can't you do it? Like, what. When. When you have, like, a stillness and it's like, I should do that. What is keeping you from doing it? Like, you don't want to see pictures of yourself. You don't want to remember a time where things were felt better and easier. Like, what is it?

[Grant]

So a part of it is option paralysis, which I struggle with. And because I'm almost done, I know that I'll have to go back and do a round two of all the photo because, you know, there's only a certain amount that can go in the album.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah.

[Grant]

And I'm dreading the start of round two.

[Noah Avior]

Okay. Why don't you give it to someone who would like to do that? Like a Kirsten.

[Grant]

That's a great idea. I actually, like, give it to someone.

[Noah Avior]

Who, like, you know, throw it on the girls chat and be like, could anyone help me by looking at these photos and pick the ones you like? Anya, I think, like, loves to do that kind of stuff. She's really good at, like, helping make decisions when it comes to, like, I. I felt the same way about photo shoots where I'm like, I have to choose the ones they're gonna edit. I only get 10 to edit. Like. Like, I can't decide. I don't know. Because ultimately, yeah, it should be, like, what you want, but you won't notice if.

[Grant]

No, I. I honestly wouldn't care. I'm. I'm not good at asking for help, so. Thanks. That's actually a very good suggestion because.

[Noah Avior]

I think there are people that would like to do that. Like, it wouldn't feel burdensome for them. But I understand that the option paralysis is that like is. But isn't that with, like, Isn't it with everything? Like, picking out furniture and picking out. Yes, an outfit?

[Grant]

100%. Yeah.

[Brian Frangie]

I think one of the problems is there's too many options. Like, you need to limit. Like, you need to just, like, take half the photos and throw them in the garbage so then you just have less to choose from.

[Grant]

But I still have to go through them, which is what I'm not good at.

[Brian Frangie]

Don't even go through them. Just throw them out. You don't have them and then you have half left. And then it's. That's one of the. They've done studies on this about happiness in general, where if you have more than like three to five options, it actually makes you less happy because you're just thinking about all the different ways that you could get the choice wrong. Whereas if you just have like A or B or C, then you just make that decision quickly and you're much happier. Even if the thing you ultimately wind up with is not as good as if you had a hundred different options and you could pick the number one best one.

[Grant]

Right. Well, that makes sense. I'd just be happy with the fact that I got the task done.

[Noah Avior]

How many times have you been ordering makeup online and there's too many colors to choose from and so you just don't choose any? I mean, really, every time, all the time. For me with it, it's like a color of lipstick or a color of foundation. I'm like, I know that it's nice that they have many colors because there are many different colors of people and lips and things like that, but good God, I don't think we need that many. Yeah, I'm with you on that.

[Brian Frangie]

Like with shoes, like, I get these running shoes and they have. I get Brooks running shoes and like, they have like three choices of color variations.

[Noah Avior]

I love how certain shoe companies are just like, fuck you.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

One page of results.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

You're not even gonna go to the book. When I go to, like, anthropology to look at like, new arrivals or like, just tops, it's like a thousand pages of things that you can go through, and I just can't. I can't.

[Brian Frangie]

Just give me the best ones, the ones that are proven to be the best sellers.

[Noah Avior]

And that's just that they could lie to you. It's like when I used to work at a restaurant and whenever they would do the special of the week, it was just whatever leftover shit they had, they would throw it in a stew, say, this is our special. And it would make it seem special, but it wasn't special. It was just the leftover. So I always feel like the best sellers are stuff they're trying to, like, offload.

[Brian Frangie]

There was someone saying this to me or something, or I heard it on TV show where it's like, no matter what you do when. When you go to a restaurant, don't get like the fish stew or the booyah base or something, because all that is is two day old fish put into a stew. So never Get.

[Noah Avior]

Think there's ever a fish stew anywhere? That sounds insane.

[Brian Frangie]

They say. They've been telling me for years, never get the fish stew.

[Noah Avior]

I just think that specials are oftentimes not unless there. It's a really nice restaurant where they're like, we just got the certain amount of this fish. Like, I think specials generally are things they're running out of, and they just want to, like, kind of shove them all together. But I could be wrong. That's one.

[Brian Frangie]

What are your guys true of restaurants, too? If you go to a restaurant, I mean, if it's like Cheesecake Factory and they have, like, every single food on the menu, it's much harder to make a decision than if you go to a place that just has, like, 15 options that we know are good.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. I mean, my thing that I would want done if I snap my fingers is getting rid of crap and, like, little cords and little, like, buttons and shit. Like, all the drawers, all the things that I have that I don't want. Like, it's been really hard for me to. I just went through my. I did a purge the other day and got rid of, like, five suitcases of clothing.

[Brian Frangie]

Whoa.

[Noah Avior]

And I finally got rid of underwear that I don't want that I've been, like, having for five years. You know, like, just this. And I just don't wear that underwear. I only wear thongs now. Like, I just don't really. Unless I'm going. I sleep in underwear that are, like, on my ass. You know, what. Bikini style. But, like, I only wear thong. I've. I've trained my ass to be chapped and calloused enough that I don't feel it. It's like flossing. Wearing thongs is like flossing. If you do it every once in a while, it's highly annoying. And you're.

[Brian Frangie]

You're, like, bleeding.

[Noah Avior]

You're bleeding. Your ass is bleeding. And everyone knows that you don't wear thongs a lot because you're like. But then if you wear them every day, you just get used to them. It's. It truly is so uncomfortable when you first wear thongs. I couldn't even believe that anyone ever did it. And now I hate wearing them to bed because I want to. But I. I only kept some underwear to wear to bed, and then I got rid of. And you can't donate underwear. Right? So it's just like putting all this underwear in a. A bag and, like, just. You're throwing it into a landfill. Like, it's not going anywhere. There's no recycling going on. And it, that really stresses me out. And I got rid of all my socks that don't. Aren't ankle socks. All of my socks that go below my ankle, gone. And that was like, I'm not joking you. 70 pairs of socks that I threw in a bag. Just ones that go above my ankles, like high above or that Emily told me to buy. I'll show them.

[Grant]

I was gonna say, is that an influence?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, they go, they go all the way up. Up.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, they go all the way up.

[Grant]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

I just love them. They're like, those are the best socks. They're so comfortable to put on. I like the fabric. They don't have that, like, fuzzy feel like. I like them to feel like, I don't know that some socks, when I can see if your sock, the silhouette of your sock, you can see the fuzz. I want to die.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah.

[Noah Avior]

I want a hard, like, I want a sock that doesn't have like fuzz.

[Brian Frangie]

Wool.

[Noah Avior]

I don't like wool.

[Brian Frangie]

Nylon.

[Noah Avior]

No. I don't like polyester because that makes me sweat. I want to be cotton, but I want to be like a hard cotton. I don't know what I'm saying. But like the gray toed Hanes, one white and the gray toe, that's with the fuzz.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. That's horror. So the, the I can't believe in the early 2000s we were convinced to wear socks that go below the ankle. Final thought, I look back at those and I'm like, especially guys, I'm like, why? Like they, I can't think of anything less flattering than wearing a sock that like you, basically.

[Noah Avior]

I still think it doesn't go. But I can't wear it because it makes you look old. I, I, you know, it's like the middle part thing, I just won't do it. It make. I feel like it just I would wear because I have long legs and I feel like it makes your legs look longer to wear no sock.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh, yeah. If you have more legs, if you have long legs, especially skinny long legs, especially if you're a guy, you have to wear long socks. I mean, there's just no, there's no way around it.

[Noah Avior]

Why? Because you don't want your legs to look long and skinny.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Noah Avior]

Oh, yeah.

[Grant]

Okay.

[Brian Frangie]

Guys want big, thick trunks.

[Noah Avior]

I have long, muscular legs and so I don't like the ankle sock look because I feel like it makes me look stubby and muscular and I wanted that extra ankle length, but I don't get it. Anymore, you know, like, I do think it looks better to have your ankle exposed, but that's just not what the trend is.

[Brian Frangie]

That's not it. No more. It'll be that in 20 years. In 20 years they'll be disgusting to wear high socks. And you'll have to wear what ankle socks again. It the. I do kind of like how everything's trending back towards the 80s now. Like if you go to like at the gym or something, everyone's wearing like.

[Noah Avior]

The same type baggy tank tops.

[Brian Frangie]

Oh my God. Yeah, baggy tank tops. Some people are just wearing like full fledged like baggy sweatshirts. But also like the socks are 80s socks. They're just like workout video. What are those called? Those ankle socks?

[Noah Avior]

Yeah, like into your.

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah, like ankle warmers. Going into leggings. That's just the 80s.

[Noah Avior]

Amazing.

[Brian Frangie]

No one, they didn't think of this. Gen Z did not think of this.

[Noah Avior]

No, we thought of it. I don't, I can't even wear like, I don't even know what to wear for leggings anymore. I don't think leggings are in. And if you do wear a legging, I saw a thing about this. You have to wear a sweatshirt that covers your butt. Like it is not cool anymore to wear a sweatshirt above your butt butt and with yoga pants. Girls, did you know this? I didn't know this. But you, it makes you look like a soccer mom. And so you have to wear a really long sweatshirt that covers your butt. Which I think is a better look. It's like more modest. And I'm not one for being like, cover yourselves up, ladies. But like with me with my flat ass that can actually have four quadrants sometimes, like I feel like I have four butt cheeks. Sometimes I like to have more coverage on my butt. Girls, you should be showing off your butts all the time. I would be flashing my ass non.

[Grant]

Stop if I anymore. You just said we have to cover it.

[Noah Avior]

Well, no, no, I mean your bare ass. I would be, I would be getting little itty bitty bikinis. Girls are always complaining about, like, why is there no butt coverage if you have a full big ass, don't cover it up. You don't need butt coverage. You have a big butt that has like a nice shape to it. Even if it's big, it's like if yours has like all these divots in it, I understand why wanting to cover it up. Mine has divots.

[Brian Frangie]

So that's how it's always been.

[Noah Avior]

I mean I, I try. I Try. I could try anything. I could probably get a BBL in the right place in an hour to fix it. But it's just like I've always had kind of a flat ass.

[Brian Frangie]

That's not like something that's happened over time. That's. It's always been like that. You're saying.

[Noah Avior]

I know. I think it's like with age, it's like with kind of the sagging nature of skin, but it's also with. When I used to be really skinny, like, that's the first place. Like, I already don't have fat there anyway. And then when I'm really skinny, it's like there's. It's just hanging skin and the skin.

[Brian Frangie]

So you need more draping skin. You need more fat there.

[Noah Avior]

On my ass. Yeah. That's what the Kardashians do. They literally get their fat put on their ass and they take it from other places.

[Brian Frangie]

If you get the fat put in your ass, does that just.

[Noah Avior]

Can I have some from your stomach?

[Brian Frangie]

I mean, I would love to donate some if that was possible. I would love to.

[Noah Avior]

I would love to have your stomach on my ass. I wonder if it stays there.

[Brian Frangie]

I don't know, like an ass, to be honest with you.

[Noah Avior]

Really?

[Brian Frangie]

Yeah. Like the way that it's hanging out now, it really, like, if you just like took out of context the picture of my button and removed the belly button and it would look like an ass.

[Noah Avior]

Yeah. All right, I'll take your word for it. We gotta go. Thank you for listening to podcast this week. Happy birthday, Kirsten. You guys will see you next week. Tickets are on sale. They're all selling a lot. So I really appreciate you all coming out to see me. There are some tickets available in certain markets. Nikki glazer.com Keep listening to podcasts. We'll see you next week. Don't be cud. Bye. The Nikki Glaser Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by me, Nikki Glaser, co hosted by Brian Frangie, executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Soni and Noah Avior, edited and engineered by Lean and Lo Video production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki glaser podcast on YouTube, follow ickyglazerpod and subscribe to our channel.

[Nikki Glaser]

Hello, iheart listener. We have a confession to make. Both iheart and this commercial you're listening to right now would probably sound a heck of a lot better on the new Roku Pro series tv. It's got side firing speakers that fill your room with sound, Dolby Atmos audio that puts you right in the middle of the entertainment, and the ability to pair seamlessly with your home theater sound systems that already have surround sound and booming bass. If all that sounds too good to be true, it'll sound even better on the new Roku Pro series. Your hearing isn't better, your TV is.

[Brian Frangie]

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[Nikki Glaser]

Amazon One Medical presents Painful Thoughts I.

[Grant]

Could catch anything sitting in this doctor's waiting room.

[Noah Avior]

A kid just wiped his runny nose on my jacket and the guy next.

[Grant]

To me sitting in a pool of perspiration insists on sharing my armrest.

[Nikki Glaser]

Next time, make an appointment with an Amazon One Medical provider. There's no waiting and no sweaty guy.

[Noah Avior]

Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.