The Official BNI Podcast: Episode 893 – Lasting Relational Leadership

Release Date: January 15, 2025
Host: Dr. Ivan Misner
Guest: Mike Holman, BNI National Director for the UK and Ireland

Introduction

In Episode 893 of The Official BNI Podcast, Dr. Ivan Misner delves into the concept of Lasting Relational Leadership with seasoned BNI leader, Mike Holman. Drawing from Mike's 25-year journey within BNI, the conversation explores the foundational elements of effective leadership and the pivotal role of genuine relationships in fostering business growth and personal development.

Guest Introduction: Mike Holman

Mike Holman brings a wealth of experience to the table, having transitioned from a dedicated BNI member to a key leadership role. His journey includes founding a new BNI territory in the United Kingdom and ultimately serving as the BNI National Director for the UK and Ireland since June 2022. Mike's insights are rooted in his extensive tenure and his commitment to nurturing meaningful business relationships.

Lasting Relational Leadership

Dr. Misner opens the discussion by introducing the theme of Lasting Relational Leadership. Mike emphasizes the importance of strong foundational relationships, likening them to the sturdy bases of enduring structures:

Mike Holman [02:09]: "There are many structures around the world that I actually admire. ... every one of these structures has an incredible foundation beneath it that supports it. Well, I truly believe as a leader and as a member, we also need to have those foundations in place."

The Importance of Knowing and Being Known

A central theme of the episode is the question, "Do people really know me?" Mike shares a transformative experience inspired by Simon Sinek's "Start with Why," highlighting the power of personal purpose in leadership:

Mike Holman [02:49]: "I stopped and I just basically told them what my purpose was. And I told them, really from the heart about why I care deeply about their success."

This approach not only changed the atmosphere in the room but also reinforced the significance of leaders genuinely connecting with their teams.

The 'Why' Factor in Leadership

Dr. Misner expands on the concept of the "why," stressing its critical role in leadership effectiveness. He underscores the necessity of understanding and communicating the purpose behind actions to inspire and engage others:

Dr. Ivan Misner [04:13]: "People naturally go to why. ... When you can show that attendance absolutely increases the number of referrals in a chapter, then people are willing to listen to the how so."

This alignment of purpose and action fosters a more motivated and committed network.

Depth vs. Breadth in Relationships

The conversation shifts to the depth versus breadth of professional relationships. Mike advocates for cultivating a select number of deep, meaningful connections rather than numerous superficial ones:

Mike Holman [07:47]: "Every single member probably needs … 8 to 10 really good, strong relationships they can manage and focus on and get the most out of."

Dr. Misner complements this by illustrating that a network must be both wide and profound to be truly effective:

Dr. Ivan Misner [08:47]: "If your network is a mile wide and an inch deep, it'll never be very powerful."

The Power of Personal Stories

Personal narratives play a crucial role in building trust and rapport. Mike discusses the significance of sharing personal goals and ambitions to foster authentic connections:

Mike Holman [06:09]: "What are your personal goals? What do you want to achieve for yourself, your family? What's your ambitions?"

Dr. Misner adds that actions speak louder than words, reinforcing the importance of aligning behaviors with expressed intentions.

Illustrative Metaphors

The dialogue includes memorable metaphors to underscore key points. Dr. Misner recalls the story of eucalyptus trees to illustrate the fragility of networks that lack depth:

Dr. Ivan Misner [09:14]: "Eucalyptus trees have a root system that spreads very wide but doesn't go very deep. So when it gets really tall and the wind hits it, it knocks it over."

This metaphor serves as a cautionary tale for maintaining strong, resilient business relationships.

Whose Story Are You Part Of?

The discussion concludes with the poignant question, "Whose story are you part of?" Mike emphasizes the impact individuals can have on each other's lives through their roles within BNI:

Mike Holman [10:22]: "BNI is the operating system and we have the ability to bring people together and it's people that change people's lives."

He encourages members to actively invest in others, highlighting that leadership is about empowering others rather than changing oneself.

Personal Reflections

Mike shares a deeply personal story about his relationship with his father, illustrating the long-term effects of leadership and sacrifice:

Mike Holman [10:32]: "When I was growing up, I came from a very working-class background... I realized only later in life the reason he did it. He did it. ... I never want any of our members to have to sacrifice their family for their business or their business for their family."

This reflection underscores the importance of balancing professional aspirations with personal well-being.

Conclusion

Dr. Misner and Mike Holman wrap up the episode by expressing mutual appreciation for each other's contributions to BNI. The conversation reiterates the episode's central message: Effective leadership is built on the foundation of lasting, meaningful relationships. By understanding and embodying the "why," and by fostering deep connections, leaders can create resilient and thriving networks.

Notable Quotes:

• Mike Holman [02:09]: "There are many structures around the world that I actually admire. ... every one of these structures has an incredible foundation beneath it that supports it."

• Mike Holman [02:49]: "I stopped and I just basically told them what my purpose was. And I told them, really from the heart about why I care deeply about their success."

• Dr. Ivan Misner [04:13]: "When you can show that attendance absolutely increases the number of referrals in a chapter, then people are willing to listen to the how so."

• Mike Holman [07:47]: "Every single member probably needs … 8 to 10 really good, strong relationships they can manage and focus on and get the most out of."

• Dr. Ivan Misner [08:47]: "If your network is a mile wide and an inch deep, it'll never be very powerful."

• Mike Holman [10:22]: "BNI is the operating system and we have the ability to bring people together and it's people that change people's lives."

• Mike Holman [10:32]: "I never want any of our members to have to sacrifice their family for their business or their business for their family."

This episode serves as a profound reminder that lasting leadership is not just about strategic initiatives or business acumen; it's fundamentally about the quality of relationships we build and the authenticity we bring to our interactions.