Episode 923: So You Want to Meet a Big Name (Classic)

Summary

Detailed Summary of "The Official BNI Podcast"

Episode 923: So You Want to Meet a Big Name (Classic)
Release Date: August 13, 2025
Host: Dr. Ivan Misner, Founder and Chief Visionary Officer of BNI

---

Introduction

In Episode 923 of The Official BNI Podcast, host Priscilla Rice sits down with BNI's Founder and Chief Visionary Officer, Dr. Ivan Misner. The episode delves into effective networking strategies, particularly focusing on how to connect with influential and high-profile individuals. Drawing from his extensive experience, Dr. Misner shares a compelling story about meeting business icon Harvey McKay, illustrating the power of trusted introductions in the world of referral marketing.

The Challenge of Meeting Influential Individuals

The episode begins with a question posed to Dr. Misner: "If you wanted to meet someone you admired 30 years ago, without knowing them personally, how would you go about it?" (00:20). This sets the stage for a deep dive into strategic networking.

Dr. Misner's Initial Approach

Dr. Misner responds by emphasizing the inefficacy of direct outreach when targeting high-profile individuals.

Dr. Misner [01:51]: "I would not reach out to them directly. Because if they're a big name, they're probably not going to take your call or your email. So I would find someone who knows that person and I'd get an introduction."

This approach underscores the importance of leveraging existing relationships to bridge connections, rather than attempting cold contacts that are often unsuccessful.

The Power of Trusted Introductions

Real-Life Example: Connecting with Harvey McKay

Dr. Misner recounts his personal experience of connecting with Harvey McKay, the author of Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive. Initially, despite multiple attempts, Dr. Misner struggled to get past Harvey's assistant (01:41-05:35). His persistence, however, paid off when a BNI member offered to drive him from the airport during a book tour.

Dr. Misner [04:27]: "Harvey called me directly. We had a great conversation."

This pivotal moment highlights how a trusted intermediary can facilitate introductions that would otherwise be inaccessible. The BNI member's willingness to assist was grounded in mutual trust and professional credibility, illustrating the core principles of effective networking within the BNI framework.

Key Insights and Strategies for Effective Networking

Building and Leveraging Trust

A recurring theme in the conversation is the significance of trust in networking. Dr. Misner emphasizes that referrals and introductions are most effective when they come from individuals who trust your integrity and professional capabilities.

Dr. Misner [08:13]: "I asked people who I felt trusted me, who I felt I was at credibility... they knew of my reputation, they knew who I was and they trusted me."

Persistence and Consistency

Priscilla Rice adds to the discussion by highlighting Dr. Misner's relentless pursuit of his networking goal.

Priscilla [08:04]: "It's a perfect example of that, because you had this desire to meet this person and you just asked and asked and asked people who you believe trust you."

Dr. Misner concurs, noting that persistence, combined with a strategic approach, is essential for successful networking.

Avoiding Direct Sales Pitches

Another critical insight is the importance of approaching introductions with genuine intent rather than overt sales pitches. Trust is maintained when referrals are made based on mutual respect and professional alignment rather than transactional interests.

Dr. Misner [05:35]: "People don't want to give a referral to someone that just wants to sell something to an important contact they have."

Notable Quotes

1. Dr. Ivan Misner [01:51]:
   "I would not reach out to them directly. Because if they're a big name, they're probably not going to take your call or your email. So I would find someone who knows that person and I'd get an introduction."

2. Dr. Ivan Misner [04:28]:
   "Harvey called me directly. We had a great conversation. Obviously, this BNI member not only made the connection, but explained it thoroughly why I was trying to get through."

3. Priscilla Rice [08:04]:
   "It's a perfect example of that, because you had this desire to meet this person and you just asked and asked and asked, and like you said, it wasn't the only reason that it worked, but you didn't give up."

4. Dr. Ivan Misner [08:13]:
   "I asked people who I felt trusted me, who I felt I was at credibility, if you go, visibility, credibility, profitability."

Conclusion

Episode 923 of The Official BNI Podcast offers invaluable insights into the art of networking, particularly when aiming to connect with influential figures. Dr. Ivan Misner's narrative serves as a testament to the efficacy of building and leveraging trusted relationships. By focusing on credible introductions and maintaining persistence, professionals can navigate the complexities of networking to achieve meaningful and impactful connections. This episode not only reinforces foundational BNI principles but also provides actionable strategies for listeners to enhance their own networking endeavors.

---

For those seeking to elevate their networking skills and harness the power of referrals, this episode is a must-listen. Dr. Misner's experiences and strategies offer a roadmap for building robust professional networks that can propel one's career to new heights.

Transcript

[A]

Hello, this is Priscilla Rice and I'm coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio. This week we're going to have a rebroadcast of one of our earlier classic podcasts. We hope you enjoy it and thanks so much for listening. Episode number 707. So you want to meet a big name?

[B]

You're listening to the official BNI Podcast with BNI Founder and Chief Visionary Officer Dr. Ivan Meisner. Stay tuned for networking and referral marketing tips from the man whose been called the father of modern networking, along with suggestions and insights into getting the most from your membership in the world's largest networking organization, bni.

[A]

Hello everybody and welcome back to the official BNI Podcast. I'm Priscilla Rice and I'm coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. And I'm joined on the phone today by the founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of B and I, Dr. Ivan Meisner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?

[B]

I am online this week with the BNI US National Conference. So it's always a blast doing the conferences. We've been doing them for decades now. So great. Good week.

[A]

So what's this topic about?

[B]

So I had someone recently ask me a question. He said, let's say that you, ivan, go back 30 years and think about where you were early in your career. If you didn't know someone personally and you really admired them and wanted to take a shot at reaching them, how would you do that? I thought that was an interesting question.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so here's my answer, here's the short answer, then I'll give you the long answer. The short answer is I would not reach out to them directly.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

Because if they're a big name, they're probably not going to take your call or your email. So I would find someone who knows that person and I'd get an introduction. And that's exactly how I met Harvey McKay years ago, who is the author of Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive. I met him back in the 1990s and I really think that getting an introduction from a trusted third party smooths the path to meeting someone, especially if that someone is well known or very successful. And Harvey was way more well known than I was back in the 90s and very, very successful. You know, in the 90s, my business was still small. I hadn't written any best selling books, so very few people knew anything about being I or who I was. Still, I wanted to meet Harvey and ask him if he would contribute a piece to a book that I was working on at the time, and he had written about networking. I thought he'd make a good contributor to the book. The problem was that with no name recognition, I couldn't get past the assistant, no matter how many times I tried. And, man, I tried. I tried multiple times and just couldn't get past the assistant. And it took the better part of a year. But one day I was in another state in the US it was part of a book tour that I was doing for one of my first books. And a BNI member in that city asked the local director if he could pick me up at the airport and take me to my hotel. And I told the director I'd love to meet the member personally. So we spent some time on the drive, and he asked me a lot of questions about my book and asked me questions about bni. He came to the event that I did that week, and he asked if I'd like a ride back to the airport the next day. And I said, yeah, sure. And on the ride back, we continued our previous conversation. And as we got closer to the airport, he thanked me for all the suggestions I'd given him on how to build a powerful personal network. And then he asked me. He asked me the magic words that I always say people should use. Is there anything I can do for you? What can I do for you? Well, you know, as I said earlier, I had been trying to get through to Harvey McKay, and I had asked people and asked people if they knew Harvey, and so far, I really couldn't find anyone. So I thought, what the heck? I'll ask him. You know, I've been trying to connect with Harvey McKay, and I hadn't had any luck. I just can't get past his assistant. You wouldn't happen to know someone that knows Harvey, would you? And, Priscilla, I swear to you, he says, sure. I know his assistant really well. In fact, I have her mobile number.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And I'm like, really? How do you have her number? And I was absolutely dumbfounded. Absolutely dumbfounded. And I asked him, how do you know her? He then went on to explain that he always volunteers to drive visiting authors from the airport because it's a great way to get them in a car for an hour and learn about them and learn from them. And that's why he volunteered to drive me. He told me that he'd talked to her many times when he agreed to drive Harvey from the airport the previous year. And he asked me why I wanted to connect with Harvey. In other words, he wanted to. He wanted to qualify Me before he passed on his trusted contact. And I told him, then told him that I wanted to ask Harvey if he'd be willing to contribute to a book I was writing called Masters of Networking. And I said Harvey had written a book on the topic of networking and he'd be such a great contributor. I really wanted him in the book. The driver said he'd be happy to reach out to Harvey's assistant and explain what I'm doing and ask her to contact me. Well, guess who called me the next week?

[A]

The assistant?

[B]

No. Harvey.

[A]

That's incredible.

[B]

Harvey called me directly. We had a great conversation. Obviously, this BNI member not only made the connection, but explained it thoroughly why I was trying to get through. So the assistant didn't even reach out to me. That was good enough. She trusted him, him enough to pass on the information to Harvey. And Harvey contacted me directly. Harvey is an icon in the business world, and I was really honored to talk to him. It was a fantastic conversation. I learned that he. He absolutely walks the talk when it comes to networking. He was masterful in getting to learn about me and about the book I was doing. In fact, he agreed to provide a contribution to the book. And I really got to know Harvey better over the years. He spoke at one of our BNI conventions. And I had a chance to talk to him on many other occasions. Some people may think that it all happened just because I asked, but I would say that's only part of the story. Yeah, I asked, but I asked people who I knew and who I believe trusted me. More importantly, they knew I wouldn't betray that trust by doing something other than what I said my intended purpose was. And that's really important. People don't want to give a referral to someone that just wants to sell something to an important contact they have. Unless that contact, of course, is asking for that kind of a connection. So that's the long version of the answer. If I were to go back 30 years and think about where I was early on in my career and I wanted to meet someone I really admired, how would I do that? It's easy. I'd ask people who trust me for the referral. And this gentleman trusted me because he knew of my work for many years. He was a BNI member. It worked for me, and I still think it works for me today. And I would submit to everyone listening to this that it'll work for you as well. If you've got a story similar to that, where you had a good relationship with someone, a good professional relationship, and then you made the ask and then you got the contact you were looking for. I'd love for you to share it here on BNI Podcast. And of course, you are always welcome to leave comments. I read every comment that is posted up here on BNI Podcast. Well, that's it for today, Priscilla. Any thoughts? We've got a little time. Any thoughts on that?

[A]

I love that story. It's such a great story. And I just want to add to it a little bit. You know how you always talk about it, that you're a dog with a bone?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, this is a perfect example of that, because you had this desire to meet this person and you just asked and asked and asked, and like you said, it wasn't the only reason that it worked, but you didn't give up.

[B]

Yeah. And I think the key here is that I asked people who I felt trusted me, who I felt I was at credibility, if you go, visibility, credibility, profitability. I believed that the people I was asking I was at credibility with, and many times they were BNI members, and even though they didn't know me necessarily personally, they knew of my reputation, they knew who I was and they trusted me. And that's the key, because you know the old saying, and I know we did a podcast on this, Priscilla. It never hurts to ask. Yeah, well, that's wrong. It does hurt to ask. If you ask and there's no relationship or no trust, then it actually, it hurts the relationship. And so there has to be a level of trust. So when you have that level of trust than what you just described as run out of money, you got to ask and ask and ask and ask people who you believe trust you, because you just never know who someone knows. When he told me, oh, I've got her, you know. Yeah, I know her. I've got her mobile phone number. I was. I love this British expression. I was gobsmacked. I was just like, what?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Really?

[A]

It makes so much sense that he would know her because of his. His volunteering for all these authors. So that was really great.

[B]

It was. And, you know, he obviously developed a relationship with her because, you know, she trusted him enough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And Harvey, of course, met him and, you know, knew of him, and so they trusted him enough that they were like, oh, yeah, we don't even. You don't even have to talk to the assistant. Let's just have Harvey call. And again, I was gobsmacked because, you know, there's Harvey McKay on the phone.

[A]

Perfect. I love that.

[B]

That's it for today. Priscilla, thank you so much.

[A]

Okay. Thank you so much, Ivan. Well, that's it for this week, but I want to tell you that we have a new sponsor for our podcast, and it is meisneraudioprograms.com these audio programs will provide you with the tools and the inspiration to powerfully enhance your BI experience and help you boost your business. So whether you are a new or a seasoned member, these audio programs will help you unlock the power of networking. Check out the great material available to [e-mail] and use the promo code. Ivan. 50 for 50% off of all audio programs, and all of the proceeds go to the B and I Foundation. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we look forward to having you Join us again next week for another exciting episode of the official B and I Podcast.