The Official BNI Podcast<br>Episode 932: “Hey, could you introduce me to So-and-So?”

Date: October 15, 2025
Host: Priscilla Rice
Guest: Dr. Ivan Misner, Founder & Chief Visionary Officer of BNI

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Ivan Misner dives deep into the art and responsibility of making professional introductions and referrals within your network. He outlines the process for deciding when—and when not—to introduce one contact to another, highlighting both the opportunities and serious risks that come with referrals. Dr. Misner invokes his widely recognized VCP Process (Visibility, Credibility, Profitability) and provides concrete tools for making high-value connections with discernment, ensuring that your network remains strong, trusted, and mutually beneficial.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Request for an Introduction: Setting the Stage

• People often approach network leaders or well-connected individuals with the question: “Hey, could you introduce me to so-and-so?”
• Dr. Misner notes that he’s often asked to make introductions, sometimes to high-profile individuals like Richard Branson.

2. Dr. Misner’s Step-by-Step Process for Vetting Referral Requests

• Seeking Clarity
  • First, clarify exactly what the person wants and why:

  “A really vague ‘I’d like to meet someone in your network’ is a red flag to me.” (02:00)

  • Look for specific, meaningful reasons for the introduction (a “green flag”).
• Fit Check
  • Assess whether the connection is mutually beneficial:

  “Referrals should be a win-win, not a one-way street.” (02:45)

• Reputation Risk Review
  • Review the requestor’s track record, professionalism, and follow-through.
  • Dr. Misner asks himself:

  “If I wouldn’t hire them myself, I’m not going to refer them to someone.” (03:10)

3. The Criteria for Deciding to Refer

• Trust
  • Must have direct experience with the person or a strong vouch from a trusted contact.
• Competence
  • Person must have proven capability:

  “They have to have a proven track record that they can deliver results at a professional level before I introduce them to so-and-so.” (04:15)

• Alignment
  • Values and approach should match those of the person they wish to be introduced to.
• Preparedness
  • Evidence that the person is ready for the opportunity, not just hoping to “wing it.”

4. Red Flags That Signal a No

• History of unreliability or poor communication
• Transactional—not relational—attitudes towards networking
  • “Have they treated their network purely in a transactional way, or have they created a true relational network?” (05:05)
• Disrespect for others’ time
• Requests that are unrealistic or lack a compelling value proposition
  • Anecdote: People requesting introductions to Richard Branson

    “You’re asking me to introduce you to someone that I may barely be at credibility with, and you and I are at invisibility with each other.” (06:35)

5. Consequences of a Bad Referral

• Damaged Credibility:

  “A bad introduction can cost you far more than a few awkward minutes. It can damage your credibility.” (07:00)

• Damaged Relationships & Lost Trust:

  “Trust takes years to build and seconds to lose.” (07:38) “You absolutely can’t talk your way out of something you behaved your way into.” (07:50)

• Reduced Opportunities:

  “It reduces future opportunities. People may hesitate to take your calls or trust your recommendations.” (08:03)

6. Best Practices for Making Referrals

• “Double Opt-In” Introductions
  • Always get permission from both parties before connecting them.

  “I get a double opt-in. I’ll reach out to [the other party], and when I have that, then I make the introduction.” (08:30)

• Provide Context
  • Frame the introduction: explain why there’s a fit, and your own experience with the person.
• Say No Gracefully (When Needed)
  • Use the VCP explanation to show the relationship isn’t there yet.
  • Tactful approaches:
    • Timing Deflector: “I’m not going to see this person for a long time.” (09:09)
    • Not Right Now: “I need to get to know you better before I can make that kind of introduction.” (09:20)
    • Credibility Protector: Only refer when you’ve worked closely with both parties.
    • Value-Add Redirect: Offer alternate resources or contacts if the introduction isn’t appropriate.

Key Quote:

“If you’re going to say no or not now, be honest, be respectful, and preserve the relationship for the future.” (09:58)

7. Final Thoughts

• Discernment is everything:

  “Discernment is key. Connect, connect, connect. Do it often, and do it with discernment.” (09:51)

• Dr. Misner hopes these strategies will help BNI members globally make stronger, more meaningful connections.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On referral criteria:

  “If I wouldn’t hire them myself, I’m not going to refer them to someone.” — Dr. Ivan Misner (03:10)

• On ill-timed asks:

  “Richard and I are barely at credibility. I mean, he knows who I am. He thinks I’m fairly credible, but we’re not at profitability. … You and I are at invisibility with each other.” — Dr. Misner, speaking about Richard Branson requests (06:35)

• On trust:

  “Trust takes years to build, certainly many months to build, but it can be lost in seconds.” (07:38)

• On declining gracefully:

  “The key here is, if you’re going to say no or not now, is to be honest, to be respectful and preserve the relationships for the future.” (09:58)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:10] Beginning of episode topic and Dr. Misner’s process
• [02:00] Importance of clarity and fit in referral requests
• [03:10] Reputation risk review and referral criteria
• [05:05] Red flags for introductions
• [06:30] The VCP Process and famous person anecdote
• [07:00] Consequences of a bad referral
• [08:15] Best practices: double opt-in, providing context
• [09:20] Saying no gracefully
• [09:51] Final thoughts on discernment

Takeaways for Listeners

Dr. Misner provides listeners with a practical framework for handling introduction requests:

• Always clarify intent and ensure mutual benefit before making introductions.
• Protect your reputation by only referring people you trust, whose competence and values you endorse.
• Use a “double opt-in” approach, and always provide context.
• Decline respectfully—and preserve relationships—when a referral isn’t the right move.

Discernment and integrity in your referrals are essential to building trust and maximizing the value of your network.