Episode 939: When Is Two Not Better Than One? (Classic)

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Official BNI Podcast

Episode 939: When Is Two Not Better Than One? (Classic)
Host: Dr. Ivan Misner
Co-host: Priscilla Rice
Release Date: December 3, 2025

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Episode Theme & Purpose

In this classic rebroadcast, Dr. Ivan Misner discusses a fundamental policy within BNI networking: why members cannot belong to two BNI groups or to another group that directly competes with BNI. The episode explores the reasoning and history behind this rule, emphasizing the importance of loyalty, trust, and commitment within referral marketing organizations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: The Central Question

• Topic Introduction:
  Dr. Misner recounts a recurring member query: why can’t someone join more than one BNI chapter?

  “When is 2 not better than 1? 2 of everything’s always better, right?”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [01:17]

2. Historical Context and Lessons Learned

• Early BNI Policy (Mid-1980s):

  • Members were initially allowed in multiple chapters (1985–86).
  • Result: It “was a disaster”—there were more complaints about split loyalties than any other issue, including attendance.
  • Led to conflict and diminished group cohesion.

  “They felt that it created animosity with members because a B and I member was splitting his or her loyalty between the two B and I groups.”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [02:56]

• Board of Advisors’ Action:

  • One of their first rulings: Members can’t join multiple BNI groups.
  • This guided policy decisions still in place today.

3. Extending the Policy: Competing Groups

• Board Review in Early 1990s:
  • A member questioned if joining other “strong contact” (i.e., similar) networking groups was really different from being in two BNIs.
  • After lengthy review, the Board concluded the same loyalty issues applied.
  • New policy: Members can’t join BNI and another strong contact group.

  “The person who benefits most from this arrangement of being in two groups is only the person who is in two groups. The other people ... would benefit most by having someone ... not splitting their commitment.”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [05:44]

4. The Rationale: Loyalty, Excellence, and Accountability

• Commitment is Key:
  Allowing dual membership (BNI or similar groups) leads to fractured loyalties, reduced referrals, and trust issues.
• Quote of Principle:

  “Why let someone talk you into mediocrity when excellence is an option?”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [06:54]

• Enforcement:
  Policy #16 affirms that chapter membership committees must enforce this rule; they don’t have discretion to overlook it.

  “The membership committee is charged with doing the right thing and enforcing the rule within the group, not ignoring the rule.”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [07:58]

5. Illustrating the Impact

• The ‘Left and Right’ Thought Experiment:
  Dr. Misner encourages listeners to imagine if the person next to them at their BNI meeting is also in another BNI group or competing group with the same profession. How does it feel knowing their loyalty and referrals are divided?

  “That changes everything, doesn’t it?... They’re going to split the amount of referrals ... or, they would do something worse. They’d give both to both.”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [09:44]

6. Referrals and Group Health

• Referral Splitting:
  Members in two groups often have to split or duplicate referrals, diluting the value for everyone except themselves.
  • Benefiting only the individual, not the group.

  “They’re going to spread [business] around at a very small percentage. So the only person that ends up benefiting is the person who’s in multiple groups. The group as a whole does not benefit.”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [10:58]

7. Clarifying the Policy on Partners

• The ‘Partner Loophole’:
  • Question: What if business partners (or spouses) join different groups?
  • Dr. Misner clarifies: Two separate people with their own contacts are acceptable; a single person joining two groups is not.

  “A partner is acceptable, but the same person is not.”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [12:27]

• Partners and spouses generally have distinct networks and bring independent value.

8. Encouragement and Final Thoughts

• Acknowledge Controversy:
  Dr. Misner encourages feedback and reminds listeners the rule’s intent is preservation of group strength and trust.
• Memorable Signoff:

  “Don’t let someone talk you into mediocrity when excellence is an option.”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [13:48]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Allowing someone to belong to two BNI chapters split their loyalties and created serious trust issues in the affected groups.”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [03:08]
• “Is it easy? No. Is it the right thing to do for the good of the whole group? Yeah.”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [10:47]
• “You can never go wrong by doing the right thing. The right thing in a strong contact networking group like BNI is expecting loyalty and support by the people that are in the room.”
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [08:14]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• 01:17 – Intro: Why can’t members join more than one BNI group?
• 02:25 – History: Tried allowing dual chapters in 80s; results and decision.
• 05:22 – Early 90s: Extending policy to other strong contact networking groups.
• 06:54 – Guiding Principle: Loyalty and the pursuit of excellence.
• 07:58 – Membership Committee’s Role: Enforcing, not ignoring, policy.
• 09:44 – Loyalty Test: Visualizing split allegiances in your own chapter.
• 11:19 – Partners Question: When are two members okay?
• 13:03 – Wrap-up & invitation for feedback.

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Takeaways

• BNI’s policy on exclusive membership is grounded in experience, group well-being, and the pursuit of excellence.
• Even if controversial, the rule ensures trust, effective referral exchange, and the integrity of every chapter.
• The episode is a must-listen for both new and seasoned BNI members seeking to understand the “why” behind BNI’s foundational guidelines.

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Transcript

[A]

Hello, this is Priscilla Rice and I'm coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio. This week we're going to have a rebroadcast of one of our earlier classic podcasts. We hope you enjoy it, and thanks so much for listening. Episode 250 when is two not better than one? You're listening to the official BNI podcast with BNI founder and chairman, Dr. Ivan Meisner. Stay tuned for networking and referral marketing tips from the man who's been called the father of modern networking, along with suggestions and insights into getting the most from your membership in the world's largest networking organization, BNI. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the official BNI podcast brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is a leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Priscilla, I'm Priscilla Rice and I'm coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. And I'm joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Meisner. Hello, Ivan, how are you today?

[B]

I am doing great, Priscilla, and I've got an interesting topic.

[A]

Okay, well, tell us about it.

[B]

When is 2 not better than 1? 2 of everything's always better, right?

[A]

More is better, right?

[B]

Well, not on this topic. I was recently asked a question by a BNI member as to why you can't belong to two BNI chapters or to two groups like bni. And so here's sort of an edited version of my response. And I really think that I hope that this is of value to BNI members as to, you know, why this policy exists. And there's really a long history relating to this issue. And it's important to frame the reason why this is such an important issue. And the reason for that, the reason for framing it, is that people don't really care about the how until they understand the why. And when people understand why, then it makes more sense as to how to do something. So here's the why that you can't be in 2B and I groups or two groups like BI. In 1985 and 1986, we actually allowed members of BI to belong to 2B and I chapters. Did you know that?

[A]

No, I had no idea.

[B]

You could. You could belong to two groups. It was a disaster. It was a huge disaster. There were so many complaints that when I created the Board of Advisors in 1986, and remember, the Board of Advisors is made up exclusively of BI members, one of the very, very first things they voted on was this policy that I created which said you could be belong to two groups. You could belong to two B and I chapters. Well, they felt that it created animosity with members because a B and I member was splitting his or her loyalty between the two b and I groups. Yeah, and back then, there were more complaints by members on this one issue than any other issue in the organization, including attendance.

[A]

Well, it completely makes sense.

[B]

Yeah. Well, and you know, listen, in retrospect, everything's 2020. And when I looked at this, I was like, that was a really dumb idea I had, you know, that you could be. And there were some stipulations. They couldn't be side by side. They had to be a significant distance from one another. But that was really all irrelevant, the distance. It all came down to split loyalties. And so, you know, the answer seemed really obvious to the Board of Advisors. Allowing someone to belong to two B&I chapters split their loyalties and created serious trust issues in the affected groups. So one of the very first policies that the Board of Advisors members created was the one that states that you can't belong to two B and I groups. Okay, now fast forward a few years. In the early 1990s, members of the Board of Advisors met to address a complaint from a BNI member on a somewhat related issue. The member said, and here's a quote of what he said to me. If BNI doesn't allow a member to belong to two BNI groups, why in the world would BNI allow a member to belong to one BNI group and another group just like bni? But that competes with bni. What's the difference? He said, and why would we allow it? Isn't that basically the same thing as allowing someone to be in two B and I groups? I thought, wow, that's an interesting comment. Okay, so I presented that to the Board of advisors, and the board reviewed the argument and discussed it for a really, really long time. And in the end, they completely agreed. That night in my home in the early 90s, I lived in La Verne then. It was the first office for bni, and we ran B and I out of my house. Now, BNI is in a 33,000 square foot building in Southern California, but back then it was run out of a spare couple of bedrooms of my house. And the board of advisors decided that we should create a policy that a BNI member could not belong to two B and I groups and couldn't belong to two strong contact network groups because for the same reason that belonging to two BNI groups splits the loyalties the same way as belonging to two BNI groups. They felt that it would split the loyalties to belong to two groups like bni. So they felt that if we don't allow members to be in 2B and I groups, it makes even less sense to support them belonging to other groups just like bni. And this was a decision that was made by the board of advisors, members of the organization back in the early 90s. Now, one of the main arguments that was made by the board of advisors relating to this issue was that the person who benefits most from this arrangement of being in two groups is only the person who is in two groups. The other people in in those groups would benefit most by having someone in their group who was dedicated to them and not splitting their commitment. Does that make sense?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was a really tough discussion, but they really felt it. And again, these are members who made this decision. They really felt that it was best for the entire group. Because if we let people belong to multiple B and I chapters, let them belong to 2, 3B and I groups or to 2 or 3 groups like BNI, it weakens the loyalty and hard work done in good chapters made up of committed members, and it'll take potentially a strong chapter and make it mediocre. Now, here's my guiding principle on that concept of making something mediocre. Why let someone talk you into mediocrity when excellence is an option? Don't let a few people determine the success of a whole chapter. Stand tall as a group and make the tough decision to have a better group. And don't let people talk you into being in two groups of B and I or two groups like B and I. It was policy number 16 that exists today that addresses this issue. Now, it says that membership committees have authority in this area. Now here's something really interesting, Priscilla. Someone recently asked me, okay, so membership committees have authority. Can they ignore it? Really? Can they ignore it? So the short answer is, and here's the definitive answer, no, they can't ignore it. The police have full authority. When someone robs a bank, does this mean that it's okay for them to ignore it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No. It means that they're charged with enforcing the law. So policy number 16, as written currently by the board of advisors, means that the membership committee is charged with doing the right thing and enforcing the rule within the group, not ignoring the rule. Remember, you can never go wrong by doing the right thing. The right thing in a strong contact networking group like BNI is expecting loyalty and support by the people that are in the room. It's obvious that being in two B and I groups is a bad idea, and we have history that bears that out. It's no different from being in two groups like bni. If you expect excellence, commitment, and accountability, you can achieve success. If you allow yourself to be talked into mediocrity, you then strive to be average. And the way this often happens is people try to talk other members of the group into, hey, it's okay, you know, it's no big deal, I'm in the other group, it's all right. But that has a big impact on the group. It's not easy to stand up for what's in the best interest of a trusting group of referral partners, but that's what chapters need to do in order to achieve success. Share with members why this type of loyalty within a B and I group is so important. I would urge people in chapters who are listening to this podcast to share this podcast with other members. And if you're listening to it and you're not very sure that this is a good idea, no, this is a bad idea. They should be in other groups just like bni. The next time you're at your BI meeting, look to your left and look to your right. Imagine that those people on your left and your right, one each. One on your left, one on your right. Imagine those people are in another BNI chapter and that those groups, those other BNI chapters, have your profession represented in them. How do you feel about this idea now? That changes everything, doesn't it? When you look to your left and you look to your right and you think, you know, this guy's going to a meeting tomorrow with a bunch of other B and I people, and they're making the same promises and commitment that they're making to me here today. Guess what? No, they're not. They're going to split the amount of referrals, which, by the way, was the issue. Two things were happening. They would either split the referrals and they'd give half to one and half to the other, which isn't bad, or they would do something worse. They'd give both to both.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. Can you imagine getting a referral from somebody who. And they're also giving that same referral to someone else in another BNI group. And that's the reason why years ago, the board of advisors said, you can't be in two B and I groups, and then a few years later said, it's really no different being in another group, just like bni and It's a tough policy, people. In previous podcasts, we talked about accountability, and this is one of those examples of it. Is it easy? No. Is it the right thing to do for the good of the whole group? Yeah. It might not be the right thing for an individual person who would like to be in three or four or five or six groups, because then they're getting a whole lot of business, and they don't have to give everybody else the business. They can spread it around, but they're going to spread it around at a very small percentage. So the only person that ends up benefiting is the person who's in multiple groups. The group as a whole does not benefit. And that is when two is not better than one.

[A]

Okay, now I'm going to interrupt and ask a question.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I know how some people get around this, which is they have a partner in their business and the partner is in another group. So what do you think about that?

[B]

Yeah, that's a great question. That is a great question. And I'm not sure I would define it as getting around it, because that came up a lot in the initial discussion. I'm married. I have a wife, been married 23 years. She has a whole different set of contacts than I have. So now we're talking about partners, which are generally not spouses. I mean, sometimes they are. But when you're talking about partners, guess what? Those partners have a whole other set of contacts. So the discussion was they're two separate people with two sets of contacts. Now, do some of those contacts overlap? Yes. Yes. But do all of those contacts overlap? Absolutely not. And you can make that argument not just with a partner, but with a spouse. My wife has, geez, all I have to do is walk down the neighborhood, and if I'm walking with Elizabeth, people are like, hi, Elizabeth. Good to see you, Elizabeth. And I'm like, you know those people? Oh, yeah. You know, they're the neighbor. They live a few blocks down. And so she has contacts that I don't have. I have contacts that she doesn't have.

[A]

You think that's okay?

[B]

Yeah, the board felt that was okay because they're two individuals with two sets of contacts. But one person, they have the same contacts, and having them go to two different groups is going to substantially reduce the amount of referrals. Plus, a partner may have a referral that they would give to somebody without even ever talking to the other partner. So, yes, a partner is acceptable, but the same person is not.

[A]

Okay, well, that makes sense.

[B]

That was a good question.

[A]

Yeah, good I think that makes sense. Is there anything else you want to share with us?

[B]

No, I think that's it for today. And I know this is, you know, this could be a controversial topic. And so I would ask the BNI members, and I always love to get comments, constructive comments on the podcast, and we get mostly constructive comments on the podcast. But I'd love to have people who. I want you to think about having someone sitting. That last thing I said, having someone sitting next to you on your left and someone on your right and knowing that they belong to another BNI group. How would that make you feel? And does it make sense then that you can't be in two groups like bni? We learned that years ago. And there's no difference between in a group like being in a BNI group and a group like bni. It's the hard thing to do, but it's the right thing to do. And don't let someone talk you into mediocrity when excellence is an option. That's all I've got for today. Priscilla, thank you very much.

[A]

You're welcome. Thank you. Well, that's it for this week. And I'd just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you'll join us next week for another exciting episode of the official B and I podcast.