Episode 940: Holiday Party Networking

Summary

---

The Official BNI Podcast

Episode 940: Holiday Party Networking
Release Date: December 10, 2025
Host: Dr. Ivan Misner
Co-host: Priscilla Rice

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, discusses how to approach networking at holiday parties. He delivers actionable tips for leveraging festive gatherings—not just traditional business mixers—as opportunities to forge meaningful business relationships. The conversation is filled with practical advice for business professionals, entrepreneurs, and BNI members looking to maximize holiday season connections without coming across as too sales-oriented.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reframing Holiday Parties as Networking Opportunities

• Dr. Misner explains that holidays aren’t just about celebration—they’re a unique chance to network in a relaxed setting.

  “Holiday parties are not just a place for free food and drinks. They're an opportunity to network, to connect with other people… The holidays are times when we're more likely to see people in a social setting, which lends itself to building relationships and connections with people when it's done right.”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 01:18–02:00)

2. Key Strategies for Effective Holiday Networking

• Honor the Event (02:20)

  • Always remember the primary reason for the gathering. Don’t turn the event into a business mixer.
  • Be authentic; let people see who you are, not just your business persona.

  “You want to make sure that networking at a holiday party or any nontraditional networking event that networking is supplementary to the reason that you're there.”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 02:30)

• Finesse Over Force

  • Dial back overt salesmanship; don’t deliver “boardroom presentations” at social events.
  • Focus on subtle relationship-building.

• Mindful Drinking (03:25–04:00)

  • For countries where alcohol is served, set personal limits to avoid becoming “the person people remember for the wrong reasons.”
  • BNI recommends a “two drink maximum.”

  “I love wine, but at business events you have a two drink maximum… I once said accidentally a two drink minimum. And somebody said, oh great, that's fantastic. No, no, no, I'm sorry. Two drink maximum.”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 04:03–04:31)

• Stay Positive—Don't Complain or Brown-Nose (04:32)

  • Avoid negative topics like how busy you are or problems at work.
  • Likewise, don’t overdo praise or “suck up” to company leaders.

  “Don't complain about your boss or your department... that's a real mistake. On the other hand, don't be a sycophant where you just kiss up to the executives.”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 04:34–05:11)

• Be Prepared & Do Your Homework (05:53)

  • Know who will be there; research their roles and recent work.
  • Use knowledge as conversation starters.

  “If you know some of the people who will be in attendance… just Google them, see what they’ve been up to and do a little bit of homework.”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 06:06)

• Ask Engaging, Not Interrogative, Questions

  • Examples: “How did you start with the company? What’s your favorite achievement this year?”
  • Make conversations flow naturally; avoid rapid-fire questioning.

• Create Opportunities for Future Connection (07:01)

  • Use introductions as a segue for follow-up meetings.

  “If you’ve told you about something they’re working on, it’s a great opportunity to say, ‘I really love what you’re working on. Is there anything I can do to help?’”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 07:11)

3. Confidence and Value

• Remind yourself of your achievements before the event; be ready to mention relevant projects, but don’t brag.

• Look for overlaps between your experience and the interests of others at the event.

  “You’re bringing value to the table… give yourself a little pep talk before you walk in… and understand how what you do may integrate into your discussions.”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 07:48–08:15)

• Networking can happen “anywhere, anytime, in any place”—non-traditional settings often yield the best results.

4. For Self-Employed and Client Parties

• The same principles apply regardless of whose party it is—client, customer, or your own company event.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On remembering your limits at a party:

  “Drinking too much and making a fool of yourself is just one of the major don’ts at a work party… I have a two drink maximum. That’s it, that’s as much as you can have.”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 03:25–04:29)

• On being authentic:

  “The real emphasis has to be on finesse at a holiday party. Yeah, it’s a great networking opportunity. But if you overtly sell, you may turn people off. After all, it is a holiday.”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 03:25)

• Paradox of non-traditional networking:

  “Paradoxically, it’s also these non-traditional networking settings where you’ll often get the most bang for your buck.”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 08:33)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:18] – Introduction to holiday party networking: Social context and opportunity
• [02:20] – "Honor the event" principle explained
• [03:25] – Holiday party mistakes: drinking, complaining, and over-praising
• [05:53] – Preparation and research before the party
• [07:01] – Turning introductions into future opportunities
• [07:48–08:15] – Confidence and recognizing your value
• [08:33] – Why unconventional events can be powerful for networking
• [09:12] – Application for self-employed and client parties
• [09:16] – Priscilla shares her “Pie Party” example, highlighting creative approaches to holiday networking

---

Lighthearted Moments

• Priscilla shares her unique tradition of a “pie party” for clients, offering a choice of pies and samples (09:16–10:13), which Ivan responds to humorously:

  “You’re not driving, so you can have more than two drinks if you want.”
  (Dr. Ivan Misner, 09:54)

• Ivan jokes about never being invited to a pie party, leading to friendly banter about pies and wine (10:13–10:48).

---

Summary Takeaways

• Holiday parties present unique and underutilized networking opportunities.
• Be authentic, respectful, and strategic—don’t overtly sell or dominate conversations.
• Personal limits and positivity are key to making the right impression.
• Preparation, thoughtful questions, and offering future connection are best practices for building valuable relationships.

---

For more tips from Dr. Misner, visit MeisnerAudioProGrams.com.

---

Transcript

[A]

Episode number 940, Holiday Party Networking.

[B]

You're listening to the official BNI Podcast with BNI founder and Chief Visionary Officer Dr. Ivan Meisner. Stay tuned for networking and referral marketing tips from the man who's been called the father of modern networking, along with suggestions and insights into getting the most from your membership in the world's largest networking organization, bni.

[A]

Hello everybody and welcome back to the official BNI Podcast Guest I'm Priscilla Rice and I'm coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. And I'm joined on the phone today by the founder and the Chief visionary officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Meisner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?

[B]

I am in the Los Angeles area this week seeing my grandson and my daughter and my son in law and just taken a few days off.

[A]

Oh, that sounds wonderful.

[B]

My oldest grandson, he's just a couple of years old.

About to be three.

[A]

How many do you have?

[B]

I have two. Two grandsons.

[A]

Oh great. Tell us a little bit about holiday party networking.

[B]

Holiday party networking. Well, the holiday party is a great time to meet people, but you should have a plan when you're meeting people. And this is, you know, this is the New Year's. This is good for various holidays around the world. We have different holidays. New Year's is a pretty common holiday worldwide. So you can apply this concept to New Year's and apply it to whatever holidays you celebrate. Everybody goes to parties and at holidays during the holiday season. And it's also sometimes a business slowdown season for many people who aren't necessarily in retail. So the holiday parties are not just a place for free food and drinks. They're an opportunity to network, to connect with other people. And the holidays are times when we're more likely to see people in a social setting. And this definitely lends itself to building relationships and connections with people when it's done right. Most people think of networking only in the traditional networking venues such as Chamber of Commerce or a BNI meeting or other types of business organizations. But that's not, not the only opportunity to network. And in order to make the most of holiday party networking, here's a few things to keep in mind. And these are the, these are things that I talk about. I mean, I literally just did a TV interview this morning where I talked about these things. And these are the things to consider in terms of holiday parties, particularly that are at all business related. And the first is honor the event. This is really important. You want to make sure that networking at a holiday party or any non traditional networking event that networking is supplementary to the reason that you're there. So don't treat it as a business mixer. Be aware of the, the primary focus. Don't act as if you're in the boardroom giving a presentation. Keep it natural and leave, leave, you know, leave people.

To understand who you are as an individual. The real emphasis has to be on, on finesse at a holiday party. Yeah, it's, it's great, it's a great networking opportunity. But if you overtly sell, you may turn people off. After all, it is a holiday. Here's an obvious one and, and this is one that applies in countries that serve alcohol. Not all countries can relate to this, but to those countries that serve alcohol, drinking too much and making a fool of yourself is just one of the major don'ts at a work party or at a business party. And I think many of us have been to business parties where somebody may have had just a little too much. And we saw that and we remember that and we can't get that out of our heads. So keep that in mind. You know, one of the things I, I love about BNI is we have a corporate rule that for those who do imbibe and listen, I love wine, that at business events you have a two drink maximum. I once said accidentally a two drink minimum. And somebody said, oh great, that's fantastic. No, no, no, I'm sorry. To drink maximum. That's it, that's as much as you can have. Next is whatever you do, don't go negative when you're at a business holiday. We're talking about business holiday events. I know that sounds obvious, but it happens all the time, especially if you're nervous. Don't, don't complain about how busy you are or about your boss. Whatever you do, don't complain about your boss or your department. That's a real mistake to do. On the other hand, the opposite of that. Don't, don't be a suck up. Don't, don't be a sycophant where you, you just kiss up to the executives that are at the event. Executives appreciate knowing that their work makes a difference, but don't overdo it. Instead, you know, if you want to share something, share one specific story about their big win that year that helped you as an individual or help someone in their department or helped a client, that's fine. But otherwise, you know, be appropriate in chatting with the boss. Be prepared. If you're at a business.

Party, holiday party, be prepared. You want to. If you're going to hobnob with a number of people in the company. Try to know who you're talking to, what department they're in, what they've done this year in the organization, and use that as a way to start a conversation. If you know some of the people who will be in attendance. I love Google, you know, just Google them, see what they've been up to and, and do a little bit of homework. When you go in to the event, another thing is to ask questions, some suggestions, you know, for questions. How, how did you start with the company? How did you grow the department? How did you market the department? What were some of the challenges that you have? It's not, remember, it's, it's not an interrogation. So, you know, don't rapid fire them with all of these questions. Just, you know as much as you can. Seamlessly integrate them into your conversation.

As you're talking to them.

Use an introduction as a segue for a future meeting. So if you're meeting someone for the first time in a business holiday party.

But you don't want to end the conversation at some point, open the door for a follow up. You want to be able to connect with the person at a later time. And if they've told you about something that they're working on, it's a great opportunity to say, I really love what you're working on. Is there anything I can do to help? And then if they say yes, then it's a great way to follow up and say, you know, let's connect so that I can help you with this, that you're, that you're, this thing that you're working on. And be confident of your value. You're bringing value to the table. And have confidence in the value that you're bringing to the table. Give yourself, you know, a little pep talk before you walk in there before the event. Make a mental list of the things that you've done over the past year and understand how what you do may integrate into your discussions. Don't, don't go in bragging about what you do, but be prepared to talk about some of the projects that you've done, particularly if they overlap in any way with the people that you talk to. I really believe that you can network anywhere, anytime, in any place, including events, company events, holiday events, where it might not at first occur to you to try. And paradoxically, it's also these non traditional networking settings where you'll often get the most bang for your buck. So remember to honor the event and focus on Making valuable connections, not just short term transactions. And many of you listening to this are self employed. But you may be going to a party that is with a client or a customer, their company, and these same things kind of apply in that situation. You want to do the kinds of things that I just talked about when you're going to a company party for a client or you're throwing your own company party and you've got your employees there. That's my message for today. Priscilla, anything you want to add?

[A]

Well, ironically, I'm giving a holiday party today.

[B]

Today.

[A]

Today.

[B]

All right.

[A]

I'm giving my annual pie party. When I give my clients a beautiful pie and they get to choose which one it's going to be. It could either be pumpkin, a lala, berry or apple. And people love that they get to taste the other pies too, when they come and they pick up.

[B]

So you actually allow. Everybody can taste the pies. They don't just.

[A]

Well, they taste. I buy three extra pies, one of each kind, and then I can give them samples of the other ones they didn't order.

[B]

Nice. Well, look, you're, you're, you're not driving, so you can have more than two drinks if you want.

[A]

Oh, no, those aren't drinks. Those are pies, honey.

[B]

I know, but you know, nothing goes. Nothing goes better with a pie than a great glass of wine.

Champagne with. With a pie. That's perfect.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. Well, that's great.

[B]

Well, listen, have. Have a blast at your pie party.

[A]

Okay? I will.

[B]

And I think that's. I've never heard of a pie party around the holidays, but I love it and I'm glad you're doing it.

[A]

Oh, good. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it, I think.

[B]

No, I haven't. I haven't.

[A]

Oh, that's great.

[B]

Well, I haven't been invited either.

[A]

And you know, if you were around, Ivan, I would definitely give you a pie.

[B]

If I was around, I would definitely be there. I promise. I'm going to be in Southern Californ, not Northern California.

[A]

Okay, well, have a great holiday.

[B]

Take care and have fun, Priscilla.

[A]

Okay, thank you. All right, well, I think that's it for today. Thank you so much, Dr. Meisner. That was wonderful. And I'd like you to know that this podcast is sponsored by MeisnerAudioProGrams.com these audio programs will provide you with the tools and the inspiration to powerfully enhance your BNI experience. So check out the great material that's available to [e-mail] and then use the promo code IVAN5O for 50% off of everything. All of the proceeds go to the BNI Foundation. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we look forward to having you join us again next week for another exciting episode of the official BNI Podcast.

[B]

Sam.