Episode 944: Don’t Let Your Group Deflate While You Wait (Classic)

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Official BNI Podcast – Episode 944

Title: Don’t Let Your Group Deflate While You Wait (Classic Rebroadcast)
Host: Dr. Ivan Misner
Guest/Co-host: Priscilla Rice
Original Air Date: January 21, 2026
Length: ~16 minutes
Main Theme: Staying proactive with chapter growth and visitor engagement, especially during challenging times. Debunking excuses and fostering a solution-focused mindset for referral marketing success.

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Episode Overview

In this classic rebroadcast, Dr. Ivan Misner, BNI Founder and Chief Visionary Officer, addresses common excuses BNI chapters use to delay inviting visitors or growing, particularly when faced with difficulties like online meetings, economic uncertainty, or personal fatigue. The episode’s purpose is to inspire action, highlight proven strategies, and urge members to adopt a solution-focused approach—“Don’t let your group deflate while you wait.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Common Excuses for Not Inviting Visitors

[01:43 – 08:00]

Dr. Misner systematically addresses the most common reasons BNI members give for not inviting new people. He provides solutions, resources, and reminders, emphasizing that these excuses have persisted for decades and can always be overcome.
Excuses & Responses:

• “I don’t know anyone to invite.”
  • Solution: Listen to Episode 633 for effective ways to identify more invitees.
  • Quote:
    • "I once said that. ... A BNI member took me to school on that ... I found a boatload of people I could have been inviting." – Dr. Ivan Misner [02:42]
• “We’re too small to invite visitors.”
  • Solution: Host a Visitor’s Day (Episode 505), even small chapters can double in size with a well-run event.
  • Quote:
    • "If that's holding you back, you'll never grow." – Dr. Ivan Misner [03:31]
• “I want a different group of members.”
  • Solution: Be the change; join the membership committee and curate your chapter.
  • Quote:
    • "You can be a curator of your chapter. He completely changed the chapter." – Dr. Ivan Misner [04:00]
• “They have a niche business.”
  • Solution: Niche professions can thrive (Episode 244).
  • Quote:
    • "There is no more of a niche business than what Nordi had. Check that out." – Dr. Ivan Misner [04:35]
• “Our meeting space is too small.”
  • Solution: Move to a bigger space. This is an “air sandwich” excuse.
  • Quote:
    • "Move to a bigger space. I mean, really. That's an air sandwich as an excuse." – Dr. Ivan Misner [04:55]
• “People I invite don’t show up.”
  • Solution: It happens to everyone—including Ivan. Keep inviting; focus on trying, not quitting.
  • Quote:
    • "You think I haven't invited people who didn't show up? ... It happens to me." – Dr. Ivan Misner [05:11]
    • "Always try. You can eventually win. If you always quit, you can never win." (Dr. Mark Goldston, quoted by Ivan) [05:00]
• The Economy—“Not good” or “too good.”
  • Solution: BNI grows in both downturns and booms. The need for networking never disappears.
  • Quote:
    • "The beauty of BNI is that ... when you have a recession, we've grown. When you have a booming economy, we've grown." – Dr. Ivan Misner [06:30]
• Online Meeting Dilemmas (“Meeting online doesn’t work”, “I’m waiting to meet in person”, “Zoom fatigue”).
  • Solution: Online chapters have grown remarkably. Adapt and embrace technology.
    • Relevant Episodes: Episode 689 (Online vs. Offline, “only difference is the spelling”), Episode 659 (Inviting visitors online).
  • Quote:
    • "We've opened over 600 BNI chapters during the pandemic ... The only difference between online and offline is the spelling." – Dr. Ivan Misner [07:25]
    • "Don't wait to meet in person. That's the perfect definition of 'deflate while you wait.'" – Dr. Ivan Misner [08:08]
    • On Zoom fatigue: “Buck up, buttercup." (an anonymous BNI member) [10:13]
    • "If this had happened in the 90s, you wouldn’t have Zoom fatigue… you’d have bankruptcy. I’d much rather have Zoom fatigue." – Dr. Ivan Misner [10:22]

2. The Reality of Challenges—Then, Now, and Always

[10:54 – 11:18]

• Challenges with inviting visitors are universal and ongoing. Every era presents obstacles, but action and persistence are decisive.
• Quote:
  • "We've had challenges in the past, we have challenges today, we'll have challenges in the future. Excuses don't bring results. They pretty much bring failure." – Dr. Ivan Misner [11:18]

3. Vision over Obstacles—Focus Makes the Difference

[11:31 – 13:52]

• BNI’s vision is to change how the world does business through structured referral marketing.
• Do not let obstacles dominate your attention; focusing on the vision attracts success.
• Quote:
  • "It's important that we hold the vision, not the obstacle." – Dr. Ivan Misner [12:07]
  • "If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’ll be right." – Dr. Ivan Misner [13:32]
• Examples of global BNI success during COVID:
  • BNI Iconic chapter in the Philippines: 6,130 referrals during COVID [12:41]
  • Qatar region: 155 members, 83 million reals passed [12:56]
  • Hermosa Beach: $47 million in referrals [13:06]
  • Queen City, Vermont: $239,000 in one week [13:30]

4. "Givers Gain"—Empower Each Other

[13:54 – 15:16]

• The BNI philosophy: helping others creates a cycle of success.
• Quote:
  • "If you help enough other people achieve success, they'll do the same for you. That's what givers gain is all about." – Dr. Ivan Misner [14:30]
  • "Today is the tomorrow we were worried about yesterday. You can do this, members. I believe in you." – Dr. Ivan Misner [14:45]

5. The Power of Solution-Focused Mindset

[15:26 – 16:14]

• Referencing The Solutions Focus by Mark McKergow: "If all you do is focus on problems, you become an expert at the problems. But if you focus on solutions, you become an expert on solutions."
• Chapters should brainstorm what worked in the past and concentrate on solutions, not obstacles.
• Quote:
  • "If you focus on the solutions... you can do this. Other chapters are doing it, you can do it too, right?" – Dr. Ivan Misner [16:10]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You can have excuses, or you can have success.” – Dr. Ivan Misner [13:53]
• “It's important that we hold the vision, not the obstacle.” – Dr. Ivan Misner [12:07]
• “If this had happened in the 90s... you wouldn't have Zoom fatigue... you'd have bankruptcy. I'd much rather have Zoom fatigue.” – Dr. Ivan Misner [10:22]
• “If you focus on the solutions, you become an expert on solutions.” – Dr. Ivan Misner quoting Mark McKergow [15:32]

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Important Timestamps

• 01:43 – Introduction of episode theme and excuse list
• 02:32 – Systematic debunking of common excuses
• 06:20 – Why economic conditions shouldn't dictate chapter growth
• 07:25 – Success with online meetings and hybrid models
• 10:22 – The 1990s ‘what if’ scenario and importance of perspective
• 11:03 – 11:18 – Reflection on perpetual nature of challenges
• 12:07 & 13:32 – Holding the vision, not the obstacle; success stories
• 15:26 – 16:10 – Advice to focus on solutions and collaborative brainstorming

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Takeaways & Action Items

• Excuses are evergreen—so are solutions. Whether small, niche, online, or facing economic shifts, chapters grow when they focus on action.
• Leverage BNI resources: Listen to referenced episodes for deep dives on each challenge.
• Foster a solution-oriented mindset: Become "experts at solutions" by focusing on what works and moving past obstacles.
• Empower others, and success will follow ("Givers Gain").
• “Don’t let your group deflate while you wait.” Take action rather than waiting for “easier” conditions.

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Closing

Dr. Misner’s timeless message reminds BNI members that history’s most successful chapters didn’t wait for perfect conditions. They acted, innovated, and kept inviting—no matter the challenge. Today is the perfect day to start (or restart) that momentum.

Transcript

[A]

Hello, this is Priscilla Rice, and I'm coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio. This week we're going to have a rebroadcast of one of our earlier classic podcasts. We hope you enjoy it, and thanks so much for listening. Episode number 721. Don't let your group deflate while you wait.

[B]

You're listening to the official BNI podcast with BI founder and chief visionary officer, Dr. Ivan Meisner. Stay tuned for networking and referral marketing tips from the man who's been called the father of modern networking, along with suggestions and insights into getting the most from your membership in the world's largest networking organization, bni.

[A]

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the official BNI Podcast. I'm Priscilla Rice, and I'm coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. And I'm joined on the phone today by the founder and and the Chief visionary officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Meisner. Hello, Ivan, how are you and where are you?

[C]

Thank you, Priscilla. I haven't been traveling through zoom or, you know, much of anything lately, as some of you may know. I had some of my health numbers spike and so I went to a clinic for a couple of weeks. Got a lot of writing done, by the way, Priscilla, while I was there. I mean, a lot of writing and my numbers have gone down. Things are good. It's an old issue that I've talked about. And go to my public Facebook page and you'll see information from time to time, updating. But I'm doing great and look forward to zooming around a lot again.

[A]

Oh, that's wonderful, Ivan. Well, we're happy to know that you're doing well.

[C]

Thank you. So this is an interesting topic and I've been playing around with this in my mind for a couple of weeks. Don't let your group deflate while you wait. So I've been thinking about all the reasons that people give for saying, well, I, you know, I can't invite people right now. And so here are some of them and I'm going to talk about each one individually. I don't know anyone to invite or too small to invite visitors. I want a different group of members. They have a niche business. Our meeting space is too small. People I invite don't show up. The economy is not good. The economy is too good. Meeting online doesn't work. I'm waiting to meet in person. I have zoom fatigue. Do any of these sound familiar to you at all?

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[C]

Well, all except for the last few. They're the same excuses that I've heard for 36 years. So let's hit each one of them one at a time if we can. I don't know anyone to invite. Go listen to episode number six, three, three, three. I once said that. I said that I don't have anybody else to invite. And. And I had a BNI member who took me to school on that and she gave me suggestions that from her suggestions I found a boatload of people that I could have been inviting. Listen to that, that episode to, to hear what I learned from a BNI member. And I'm sharing with you. You'll find if you do what I say there, that there may be a lot of people that you can still invite. We're too small. Number two, we're too small to invite visitors. If that's holding you back, you'll never grow. Right, Do a visitor's day. Check out episode number 5,05 where we talk about how to do a visitor's day. And I have seen chapters who had 15 members do a visitor's day and end up in the high 20s or 30s by doing a great, not just a marginal visitors day, but an all out fantastic visitors day. And they got there. So don't let that hold you back or you'll never grow. I want a different group of members. That's another one. Okay, then create it. Create it. I know a person who said, look, if I want a different group of members, I can't join. There are no other chapters that have my opening. So I got to make this happen. So he got on the membership committee. He invited people he wanted into the group. You can be a curator of your chapter. He completely changed the chapter. He was the impetus to changing that chapter around and bringing in great members. Here's another one, number four. Well, they have a niche business. Oh really? Listen to episode number 244. It's about unique professions. Do you remember me talking about Nordi Turchin? Priscilla who sold commercial light bulbs. Right. That's episode number 244. There is no more of a niche business than what Nordi had. Check that out. Here's one that I think is just crazy. Our meeting space is too small. Here's a thought. Move to a bigger space. I mean really. That's an air sandwich as an excuse. There's no meat to that. Find a bigger space and don't say there aren't any. I have talked to people who said there aren't any and then somebody else in that chapter found one. So they're around. Look for Them people I invite don't show up. That's another one. Okay, so this has happened to me. It's happened to me. So I did a [e-mail] about the fear of rejection. And in there I say, I quote Dr. Mark Goldston, who's been on our podcast a number of times. We have a lot less control over winning or losing at something than we do over trying or quitting something. Always try. You can eventually win. If you always quit, you can never win. Keep inviting. You think I haven't invited people who didn't show up? I'm the founder of the organization. It happens to me. It's okay. Having people not show up did not stop me from pursuing success in the group I was a member of. So keep plugging away and do it right. There's so many podcasts on how to invite. Just do a search on inviting visitors. There's a lot of podcasts on how to do it. These two, I'm going to give you back to back. The economy is not good. The economy is too good. I love those two because I hear them both. When the economy is bad, oh, the economy's not good. I can't, you know, it's hard to invite people. And then, you know, a year later, oh, the economy's so good. I don't, you know, I can't invite people. The beauty of BNI is that when the economy is not good, people need BNI because the economy is bad and people are struggling. When the economy is good, people. People need BNI because their competition is making it difficult for them to be successful. BNI is one of the few businesses I have ever seen that when you have a recession, we've grown. When you have a booming economy, we've grown. It doesn't matter what the economy is, the needs still exist. Now, here's a few that are more recent than I didn't hear two years ago. Meeting online doesn't work. We know that's not true. We've opened over 600 BNI chapters during the pandemic. Over 600. We've added thousands of members during this time. Check out episode number 689. The only difference between online and offline is the spelling. It's a great episode, and it talks about the fact that online works. We know it works. I'm waiting to meet in person. Well, that is, by definition. Don't let your group deflate while you wait. That's the perfect definition of it, that if you're waiting, your group's going to deflate you don't want to do that. So don't wait to meet in person. Listen to episode number 659. Inviting visitors is easy online. Priscilla, you said offline before we recorded that you thought it was easier online than in person.

[A]

Yeah, I think so. Because nobody has to commute. You don't lose any time before or after the meeting. You know, you can go right back to what you were doing, and it's just so easy, you know, just sit in front of your computer and you're there.

[C]

Yeah. And look, the numbers don't lie. We've grown during the pandemic. And would I like to meet in person? Yeah, absolutely. Are we going to eventually go back to in person? Yeah, most likely, probably a hybrid. We don't know, you know, and I have so many members who are saying, well, we need to know. We need to know now. You know, why isn't BNI telling us what to do now? And I'll tell you, you know, because of COVID this whole thing is sort of a moving target, and it's important that we do this right. And sometimes, and this is really important, sometimes you have to slow down in order to go fast. So I ask you, be patient. I am not by nature a patient man. This has tried my patience along with most other people in the world. Wouldn't you agree, Priscilla?

[A]

Yes, definitely.

[C]

Unfortunately, that's exactly what we need, patience. Take a deep breath. Sometimes you have to slow down in order to go fast. The last one is I have zoom fatigue. Don't let your group deflate while you wait. I love what one member said to me about this one. She said she told a member, buck up, buttercup. And she was right.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What if. What if this happened in the 90s? What if Covid hit us in the 90s?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You wouldn't have zoom fatigue. Those of you listening, you wouldn't have zoom fatigue. You'd have bankruptcy. Right? I'd much rather have zoom fatigue. Again, if this had happened in the 90s, we would be in so much trouble. But because of technology, we have the opportunity to not only survive, but to thrive. So move past this zoom fatigue. Don't let it be an excuse for not thriving. Priscilla, I got three questions for you.

[A]

Okay?

[C]

Give me one word answers. Okay, 1. Are there challenges with inviting people today?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Were there challenges with inviting people in the past?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Do you think there'll be challenges with inviting people in the future?

[A]

I think so, yes.

[C]

So listen, we've had challenges in the past, we have challenges today. We're going to have challenges in the future. Nothing's going to change with that. And the truth is, excuses don't bring results. They pretty much bring failure. There will always be challenges. Don't let your group deflate while you wait for the challenges to be over. Because they'll never be over. Candidly, most will be the same old challenges we've always had. Sometimes there'll be something new, like the online meeting, issues and challenges. Most of you know this, but I need to say it as a preface to my next comment. BNI's vision is about changing the way the world does business. We do that by helping people increase each other's business through a structured professional referral marketing platform. It's important that we hold the vision, not the obstacle. Let me repeat that. It's important. It's important that we hold the vision, not the obstacle. When we hold the obstacle, we have trouble achieving success at anything. Not just bni. When we hold the vision, it leads us to success. And if we hold that vision really well, it leads others to success. I've seen it. I've seen it. Over the last year and a half, the BNI chapter in the Philippines, the iconic chapter passed 6,130 referrals during COVID 6,000 referrals. A chapter in Qatar. Actually the region of Qatar has 155 members. They passed 83 million reels the Qatar currency. 83 million in their region during the COVID period. A chapter in Hermosa Beach. Hermosa beach area BNI has done. They have 48 members. 48 members during COVID and during their lifetime. And they continue to pass referrals. During their lifetime they've done $47 million and they're going strong in 2021. Still, the Queen City chapter in Vermont has done. They did. Priscilla. $239,000 in one week.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Of this year. One week.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

So you know, you can have excuses or you can have success. Those same kinds of stories I've heard over and over from chapters and regions in Europe, in Africa and India. If you think you can or you think you can't, you'll be right. I've been there. I've experienced this myself. Think back to your first BNI meeting. Aren't you glad someone got over all these hurdles we're talking about and invited you? Think about the good experiences that you had early on in your journey with B and I. You deserve that experience and so do other people. Today is a great day to help others achieve success. And if you help enough other People achieve success, they'll do the same for you. That's what givers gain is all about. We have a 36 year track record on this. Today is the tomorrow. We were worried about yesterday. You can do this, members. I believe in you. You have to believe in yourself. And when you believe you can, you will use the resources that BI provides, like this podcast. You can do this. Good economy, bad economy, zoom, fatigue, whatever the obstacle du jour happens to be, you can do this. That's my message for today, Priscilla.

[A]

That's a good one, Ivan. And so timely because I know that our chapter is struggling, trying to invite visitors, and I'm sure that other ones are also.

[C]

Yes. And it really takes a concerted effort on the chapter to recognize the opportunities that exist and run with the opportunities and not focus on the challenges. I've talked about the book the Solutions Focus by my friend Mark McCurgo, and he says if all you do is focus on problems, you become an expert at the problems. But if you focus on solutions, you become an expert on solutions. So I advise your chapter and other chapters to sit down and brainstorm and say, what were we doing when things were great and how can we get back there? Forget about the obstacles. We let's talk about the solutions. And if you focus on the solutions and you have the entire team, the overwhelming majority of the team, the chapter focus on that, you can do this. Other chapters are doing it, you can do it too, right?

[A]

You're so right.

[C]

Thanks, Priscilla.

[A]

Okay, Ivan. That was very inspiring, I have to say. Well, I think that's it for this week. I'd just like to say that this podcast is sponsored by MeisnerAudioPrograms.com these audio programs will provide you with the tools and inspiration to powerfully enhance your B and I experience and help you boost your business. So check out the great material that's available to [e-mail] and use the promo code IVAN5O for 50% off all of the audio programs. All of the proceeds are going to go to the B and I Foundation. So thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we look forward to having you join us again next week for another exciting episode of the official B and I Podcast.