Episode 964: Open Networking, the Most Undervalued Time

Summary

The Official BNI Podcast
Episode 964: Open Networking, the Most Undervalued Time
Date: June 10, 2026
Host: Dr. Ivan Misner
Guest: Spencer Reynolds

---

Episode Overview

This episode focuses on the "open networking" segment of BNI meetings—a critical but often underrated portion. Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, is joined by Spencer Reynolds, Executive Director in Tampa Bay, to discuss why these 15 minutes before (and after) the formal meeting are so valuable. The conversation covers common mistakes, best practices, and actionable frameworks for maximizing these networking opportunities, drawing both on historical insights and contemporary experiences from post-pandemic transitions.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Importance of Open Networking

• Sets the Emotional Tone:
  "Open networking sets the emotional tone for the entire meeting." (Dr. Ivan Misner, 02:34)

• First Impressions:
  Visitors’ first impressions of the group and its culture begin here.
  "This is really where our relationships begin, if you really think about the opportunity." (Spencer Reynolds, 02:44)

• Historical Roots:
  Open networking has been integral to BNI since its inception.
  "January 8, 1985. We had open networking first... So it's been part of the organization from the very beginning." (Dr. Ivan Misner, 04:09)

2. Mistakes Members Make During Open Networking

• Cliques and Staying in Comfort Zones: Members tend to gravitate toward their friends, sometimes excluding new faces or visitors.

  • "It's very easy to hone in on the people that you know as they come in...but you want to also make time for the visitors that are there." (Dr. Ivan Misner, 05:11)
  • "Talking only to members is probably one big problem, or another one is staying in a little clique." (Spencer Reynolds, 04:51)

• Perception vs. Reality: Even innocent friendship groups can seem exclusive.

  • "Friendships can look like clicks and they aren't necessarily that—they are in fact friendships. But it doesn't come across as a click when those friends then reach out..." (Dr. Ivan Misner, 06:07)

• Physical Cues and Body Language:

  • "We got to be also aware of the way we're standing in our body language. So we are open up to those people." (Spencer Reynolds, 06:33)

3. Framework for Effective Open Networking: The Three S’s

Spencer Reynolds shared his practical approach:

A. Seek

• Actively look for new faces to engage with, not just your usual friends.
  • "Seek: meet someone new. Like what if every time you came you're looking for the new face that you don't know? Seek them out first and foremost.” (Spencer Reynolds, 07:30)
• Act like the host:
  • "Act like you're the host of the meeting. Regardless. I go to other events and I act like I'm the host..." (Spencer Reynolds, 08:02)
  • "Act like the host, not the guest." (Dr. Ivan Misner, 08:14)

B. Serve

• Look for ways to help others, regardless of your role or tenure.
  • "Givers gain in real motion. How can I help the other people in the room?... It's not my role in the chapter, but if I'm serving, I'm looking for opportunity…" (Spencer Reynolds, 08:20)
• Relationship-building:
  • "When you’re serving, you’re building a relationship...they want to refer you." (Dr. Ivan Misner, 08:54)

C. Set Up

• Use open networking to arrange follow-ups and deepen relationships.
  • "What can I do to set up a one-to-one meeting, how can I develop the referral we’ve already talked about into a real connection…" (Spencer Reynolds, 09:07)
• Applies both before and after the meeting.
  • "Open networking happens before and after and after [the meeting]." (Spencer Reynolds, 09:07)

4. After-Meeting Networking

• Even though open networking is not part of the formal agenda post-meeting, it’s a crucial time to connect further, set up one-to-ones, and follow up on possible referrals.

  • "I know a lot of chapters that really do focus on, hey, stick around for a little while, talk to some of the members if you’re a visitor..." (Dr. Ivan Misner, 10:19)

• Chapter Success Correlates with After-Meeting Engagement:

  • "I can tell how successful the chapter is...if they have a lot of people who are still there, 15, 30 minutes after." (Spencer Reynolds, 10:58)

5. Lifelong Learning and Conversation Starters

• Continuous learning makes you more interesting and better equipped to engage others in conversation.
  • "We believe in lifelong learning as a core value...listen to podcasts, go out and do activities where you are learning skills..." (Spencer Reynolds, 11:10)

6. Emotional Connections Matter

• Even informal interactions can foster meaningful, lasting business connections.
  • "It may feel informal, but this is an emotional connection that you can make with other people." (Dr. Ivan Misner, 11:57)

7. Parting Advice

• Always strive to be welcoming and approachable, especially for those feeling out of place.
  • "Always, always, always be looking for ways that you can be the happy person in the room, connect with the people who don’t know what to do with that room yet." (Spencer Reynolds, 12:15)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Networking’s First Principles
  "It was the first thing that was done in the first meeting. Like, that is a big deal."
  — Spencer Reynolds [04:20]

• On Serving Others
  "Givers gain in real motion… when you’re serving, you’re building a relationship with those members. And when you build that relationship, they want to refer you."
  — Dr. Ivan Misner [08:54]

• Measuring Success
  "I can tell how successful the chapter is... if they have a lot of people who are still there, 15, 30 minutes after."
  — Spencer Reynolds [10:58]

• On Body Language and Inclusion
  "We got to be also aware of the way we’re standing in our body language. So we are open up to those people."
  — Spencer Reynolds [06:33]

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:34 — Importance of open networking for first impressions and emotional tone
• 04:09 — Historical perspective: Networking's role since BNI's start
• 04:51 — Biggest mistake: gravitating toward friends and forming cliques
• 07:30 — The three S’s framework: Seek, Serve, Set Up
• 09:07 — Expanding open networking to after the formal meeting
• 10:58 — How after-meeting networking indicates chapter health
• 11:10 — Lifelong learning as a networking tool
• 11:57 — The emotional connection in informal networking
• 12:15 — Final advice on being the welcoming "happy person in the room"

---

Recap

This episode sheds light on the transformative impact of the open networking portion in BNI meetings. Members and leaders are encouraged to re-prioritize this time, consciously break out of their comfort zones, and use the practical Seek, Serve, Set Up framework. The hosts urge attendees to act as hosts, intentionally seek out visitors and new members, help others, and set up future conversations to create an open, inviting, and productive networking culture—a practice shown to boost both relationships and business outcomes.

Transcript

[A]

Episode number 964. Open networking the most undervalued time.

[B]

You're listening to the official BI podcast with BI founder and chief visionary officer Dr. Ivan Meisner. Stay tuned for networking and referral marketing tips from the man who's been called the father of modern networking, along with suggestions and insights into getting the most from your membership in the world's largest networking organization, bni.

[A]

Hello everybody and welcome. Welcome back to the official B and I podcast. I'm Priscilla Rice and I'm coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. And I'm joined on the phone today by the founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of B and I, Dr. Ivan Meisner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?

[C]

Well, I just got back from visiting B and I Ireland and B and I United Kingdom and this week I'm in BNI Portugal and so doing, doing a European tour a little, a little bit and having a great time meeting members and directors.

[A]

Oh, it sounds so good. I love it. And what are you going to share with us today?

[C]

Well, today's topic is an interesting one and one that I don't think we really spent the whole podcast on. And that's the open networking portion of the medium, which is I think the most undervalued 15 minutes in BNI. And we have as my guest, Spencer Reynolds. This is Spencer's fourth guest appearance on the BNI podcast and I want to introduce him as the next guest host of some of the BNI podcasts. With my travel and a number of other things, it's really good to have a guest host and Spencer will be that in the future. Spencer is one of four executive directors in the BNI Tampa Bay area, the largest regions in the US and they support 2250 members with more than 70 chapters in nearly two decades. And B and I, Spencer's help launched dozens of chapters and is known for developing high impact training systems that really drive member engagement. And I've seen that, I just saw that recently having attended the US Conference a few weeks ago in Orlando and he's doing an amazing job. He had a great team there. Spencer, welcome back to BNI podcast.

[B]

Thank you very much. Excited to be here with you.

[C]

It's good to have you. So we're talking about the, the open networking portion of the meeting, which I don't think we've ever had a whole podcast on that. So I think that's a great topic. Open networking sets the emotional tone for the entire meeting. You want to talk about that a

[B]

little bit Yeah, I mean, the real thing is, is this is where our visitors get a first impression of who we are and who. Who we are as a. As a group as well. This is really where our relationships begin, if you really think about the opportunity. I think what we had happen is during COVID time when we were all online, it was really easy to show up right before the meeting started because you could just click a button. And then when we went back to in person and we started doing the networking that we know, know and love, there's still a lot of people who continue doing that show up at the last moment. And maybe it was a problem before and you could address that conversation. But as we come into the world that we're in now, where we, we. We still have the online tools and all the things that we can do, those in person and online meetings are vital to have that first opening meeting. Time to build relationships, to really feel a part of the group. And our visitors, this is where they get the first taste.

[C]

Yeah, it has always been an issue. Not a big issue, but an issue. And for many years, I've talked about the fact that it's really important to be there for the open networking to meet the visitors that come on in and online as well, because it gives you a chance to meet visitors online. So the open networking portion of the meeting is really critical. We discovered that visitor hosts help a great deal with that. And that was several years into bni, before we created the visitor host.

[B]

Yeah. I wanted to ask, like, when did open networking become a thing in bni? Like, really a part of the first meeting?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. January 8, 1985. We had open networking first. That gave, you know, people a chance to kind of meet and greet each other. So it's been part of the organization from the very beginning.

[B]

And I think all of us need to hear that, that it's that important. It was the first meeting. It was the first thing that was done in the first meeting. Like, that is a big deal.

[C]

Yeah, it kind of is. I never really thought of that, but it really is. I mean, from day one, I realized that it was kind of important to connect with people that had never been to the meeting before so that they can, you know, kind of ease into it, not just be thrown into an operating meeting. So what are some of the biggest mistakes that members make in the open market?

[B]

I think one of them is when people, they know each other. And so that's the best part of bni. It's also the worst part of BNI because now you just talk to the people that you know, and we ignore sometimes those people who we don't know that come in and we're like, hey, this is the. This is our time to get to know these people and show them who we are. So I think talking only to members is probably one big problem or another one is staying in a little click.

[C]

Can I just comment on that? I couldn't agree with you more. I think one of the strengths of BNI is that all of the members are friends. And one of the weaknesses of BNI is that all of the members are friends. And it's very easy to hone in on the people that you know as they come in. And I get that. I totally get that. And at the same time, you want to also make time for the visitors that are there. So go ahead. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.

[B]

I mean, when you think about the clicks, like, we all have our friends that we really click with and we do good. We do good with them. And so it's really easy to fall into that same conversation. And we continue the conversations we've had in the past with our friends. But the reality is that we need to branch out a lot more. This is where we get to know new people. This is where maybe newer members as well as our visitors and guests that are in the room with us. So I think making sure that, yes, we have our friends that we know really well. This is the time we need to talk to each other before that saying, let's make sure we engage with everybody else, because this is.

[C]

Friendships can look like clicks and they aren't necessarily that they, they are in fact friendships. But it, it doesn't come across as a click when those friends then reach out to, or welcome into a discussion with people that they really like in, in bni, their friends, and welcome them into the conversation. So, yeah, well, I mean, we have.

[B]

Something we do in our region is we have new member socials and we invite them over to our home, all of our new members and their sponsors. And I had one just this last week who actually said, well, there was a whole group of people that they all had these different groups and they were all in clicks. And I said, oh, I don't believe there were any clicks here because nobody knew each other. But I think we think a lot of times when there's a group of people and we know the open twos and closed twos and open threes and that, that could look like a click to the, to the wrong thing. So we Got to be also aware of the way we're standing in our body language. So we are open up to those people.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, you know, a groove can feel like a rut if you're not careful. And we get in a groove and that groove is often, you know, hanging out with the or connecting with the friends, connecting with people that we may have met before. But from the outside that can look like, you know, like a click or a rut. So it's, it's important to be cognizant

[B]

of that for sure.

[C]

In any network. Absolutely. So give me the framework for open networking in your mind.

[B]

Well, I really think the first thing is, well, the three S's in my opinion, seek, serve and set up. So seek meet someone new. Like what if every time you came you're looking for the new face that you don't know? You seek them out first and foremost, you're excited to meet them. You put a happy face on. That's what people remember is the feeling that they felt when they walked in the room.

[C]

Yes. When focusing on the visitor host might be a good way to start with that. Look, look to see where the visitor host is because they're going to have the visitor and then go on up and make yourself, introduce yourself.

[B]

I find the very best way to go to any networking meeting, especially a BNI meeting is act like you're the host of the meeting. Regardless. I go to other events and I act like I'm the host and people think I'm the one putting it on. It's like no, I just act like one.

[C]

Yeah, I talk about that in world's best known marketing secret. Act like the host, not the guest.

[B]

That's, that's where I learned it from. So the next one is serve and, and that's really learn how to help. If you're brand new to the chapter, if you've been there forever and ever. Like this is the opportunity where we all get to serve and this is givers game in real motion. How can I help the other people in the room? There's a president setting up things. There's right the people who are setting up for the meeting. How can I also help in that? Putting up the signs, putting out the things. It may not be my role in the chapter, but if I'm serving, I'm looking for opportunity and I'm also going to have conversations with people that I probably wouldn't have otherwise.

[C]

Yeah, when you're serving, you're building a relationship with those members. And when you build that relationship they want to, they really want to help you. They want to refer you, they're looking for ways to refer you when you build a relationship with people. Yeah.

[B]

And the third one is to set up, meaning, what's next, the next step, what can I do to, to set up a one to one meeting, how can I develop the referral we've already talked about into a real connection so that I can follow up and make sure those things are actually connecting with other members? So I think that this time in the meeting especially, and this is, this is not just the 15 minutes before the meeting, as you know, this is also after the meeting. Open networking happens before and after and after.

[C]

Good point.

[B]

And having that opportunity because you at first may have, you know, oh, I'm going to set up a one to one with someone and do that instead of talking about the last sports game because there are people like me who just don't really care about sports and that's not going to turn them onto something that you're excited to talk about. So having an opportunity to set up one to ones, learn about people's businesses. And then after the meeting, sometimes we hear things that happened during the meeting. We hear somebody who mentioned a specific referral request that we go, hey, is this the kind of person you're looking for? And actually building on what they've done so you can go out and make that connection and turn it into a real referral that generates business for them. And I think that is why it's so important that we're listening, taking notes during the meeting and then following up with the people after the meeting. And that open networking as well.

[C]

Yeah, I'm glad you brought up after the meeting, you know, part of the meeting, the formal part of the meeting does have open networking in the beginning and we don't have as part of the formal meeting, open networking at the end. However, that is a great time to connect with people. And I know a lot of chapters that really do focus on, hey, stick around for a little while, talk to some of the members if you're a visitor, you know, and sometimes members will actually do one to ones after a meeting. They'll go to a different part of the restaurant and do one to ones. And so that open networking and one to one opportunity exists after the meeting as well as before the meeting.

[B]

It's a big deal. I can tell people in chapters, I can tell how successful the chapter is and whether they're on the right track. If they have a lot of people who are still there, 15, 30 minutes after.

[C]

Right?

[B]

They're doing the right things. I mean, I just left a meeting. I was like, I gotta go. I gotta be on the call with Ivan right now. And I'm like, I was there for an hour and 15 minutes after, and there were people who did have one to ones, and then they came out and joined us in the parking lot as we were still talking. But I think what we need to know and do as people is we need to be engaged in learning. We believe in lifelong learning as a. As a core value of who we are as BNI members. And I think the more we learn listening to podcasts, going out and doing activities where we are learning skills and things that can help in business now, we actually become very interesting and we can be interested in the people that we're talking to and also be able to share things. So some people may be worried, like, what do I say? I don't know what to do during that time. Listen to a great podcast. Do some. Do some learning.

[C]

This. This is great information. We're wrapping up. One of the things that I think you said in the material I got from you was that it may feel informal, but this is an emotional connection that you can make with other people. I think that's really powerful.

[B]

Really is.

[C]

Any last thought before we wrap?

[B]

Always, always, always be looking for ways that you can be the happy person in the room, connect with the people who don't know what to do with that room yet.

[C]

I love that. What a great answer. Spencer, thanks for being here. Thanks for agreeing to be a future guest host. And your website is bnitampa. Com. Thank you so much. And I appreciate you and I love this topic. It's the first time we've, I think, that we've ever had just the open networking as part of the topic.

[B]

Thanks for doing it with me. I appreciate it.

[C]

Over to you, Priscilla.

[A]

Okay, well, that was really great. Thank you for that great information. This podcast is sponsored by MeisnerAudioPrograms.com these audio programs will provide you with the tools and the inspiration to powerfully enhance your B and I experience. So check out the great material available to [e-mail] and then use the promo code IVAN5O for 50% off of everything. All of the proceeds go to the B and I Foundation. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we look forward to having you join us again next week for another exciting episode of the official B and I podcast.