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These are my personal opinions. Always seek a professional when you're making choices about your mental health and well being. I know I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again because I've seen this happen in my own life, in my own family and friends where they get upset with somebody who shows up as they are. I know someone who is upset with his dad for showing up exactly as his dad always shows up. If there's one thing I've learned that has helped me throughout the years is people are who they are and you can't change them and you shouldn't expect them to change. They are going to be who they are. So however long you've known them, that's who they've been, that's who they'll always be. And once you accept that, once you realize that is the case, even though it could be hurtful, because the person I'm talking about, he loves his dad and he wants his dad to love him back. But his dad has problems doing that. He is not capable of loving him in a healthy way. And I've heard from a lot of people who really want the love from a healthy parent or at least the love from an unhealthy parent just to. Just to know that they're lovable and they're worthy in their parents eyes. And I see it over and over again that the parents they're talking about have never been that way. That is not your fault. If somebody has never been that way, it's not on you, it's not your fault. Doesn't mean you're unlovable or unworthy or when they see you're in pain or when they see you're crying that you would hope that they would have empathy or compassion or at least sympathy to say something. But some people aren't wired that way. Some people aren't. They don't grow up learning that most people are born that way, but they grow up learning how to treat others by other people who they're around, their role models in their life or their peer, their peers, their friends and family. Of course. And of course there are people with personality disorders that they're not going to be capable of communicating with you or giving you the kind of respect and maybe love or support that you need. So what do you do about that? You have to accept it. You have to accept that's who they are. This has again, this has saved me so much time. When I finally stopped seeking what I wanted to see from other people, I was free. Write that Down, Put it on your fridge. When I finally stopped seeking what I wanted to see from other people, I was free. When I stopped looking for what wasn't there, I was clear trying to make it rhyme. When I was not looking for what wasn't there, I was free. It freed me. I felt so much better because I was no longer expecting anything. Because how can you expect behavior or kindness or care, support, love, connection from somebody who is incapable of doing that, or at least not capable of doing it consistently? There's that too. Some people are not capable of doing the things that we hope they do consistently. Some people are better at loving you than hating you and then loving you again and then hurting you and then loving you again and putting you through the wringer. The cycle of love and abuse, the name of my other podcast. And when you are put through that cycle of love and abuse. Because they are bipolar in their responses. I know not the right usage of that term, but bear with me. When they are bipolar in their responses in that way, emotionally speaking, and not being empathetic, not being sympathetic, not having compassion, not even showing care, then you're dealing with a very toxic person that has a lot going on inside of them. That's not an excuse. It might be a reason, but it's not an excuse. And if there's a lot going on inside of them, they need to heal that and deal with that inside themselves. And until they do, you may not ever see another version of them. And sometimes you have to remove yourself from that person's life. Sometimes you are the trigger for other people. Nothing you did wrong, it's just your existence. Just like if it wasn't you, it would be somebody else. So you walking around as their trigger can pull out behaviors in them that don't exist when nobody else is in their life. Again, that's not you. It's not on you. It's not your fault. It's not how you're made up. It's not because you're not as good as so and so, or you're not showing up in the way that is healthy or normal. That's not any of that. It's them. Because here's my rule. When you have somebody in your life that doesn't like the way you show up or gets triggered by you in the things you say and the things you do, they have every right to say, hey, I don't like when you do that. Please stop doing it. And then you have every right to say, okay, I'll stop doing that, or I don't want to stop doing that because I enjoy doing this or this is who I am. You both have a right to say that. And then the person who says, hey, will you please stop doing that, they can also say, well, if you won't stop doing that, I can't be around you. It's simple communication that's so difficult for a lot of people to convey, mostly because they don't want to create waves, they don't want to have any more conflict, or they're in a living situation where it's hard to say things like that and continue living with each other because you know it's going to get more difficult. But really it does come down to if you don't like someone's behavior, you don't have to be around it. Again. It's not always easy. Sometimes it's money, sometimes you're stuck and you have to make plans to leave, or sometimes you're stuck indefinitely and you don't know if you'll ever be able to leave. But that's when it's a lot easier to tell yourself, this is who they are and this is who they'll always be. And if I accept that this is who they'll always be, I'll never have to wait for them to be anyone else or expect them to be anyone else. I'll never have to keep disappointing myself hoping they'll show up differently this time when I know they won't. It's a lot easier to say, well, I'm going to do or say the following thing, and I know they're going to be upset by it, and. But I don't expect anything less than that. I expect them to be upset by it. But this is the direction I'm going to go because this is what I want to do or what I want to say. And of course, you don't do this around violent or aggressive people. You do have to pick your battles wisely. But the goal is to accept that that's who they are so that you know what to expect. And once you do that, you're free. You may not feel free, you may still feel oppressed being around them, but you're free of your hopes, your wishes, your prayers, and your expectations of them being any different than they are. And so the question that gets asked next is, well, what if they change? I've talked about this before. I apologize if this is redundant information to you, but it's important information. It's important information to. To really soak in. Because if you soak this in your life Changes. If you live by this rule or this philosophy, your life changes. If you walk around going, I hope they change. I wish they changed. I am praying for them to change. If you walk around doing that, you will feel drained. You will get disappointed over and over again. So it isn't about if they'll change or not. It's about since they haven't, they won't tomorrow, since they haven't yesterday, since they haven't today, they won't tomorrow. So this is what I expect of them, and this is how it will be. So the question of, well, what if they do change? Comes up, you can ask that question, but only in a curious sense, not in an attached way. So if you are attached to the outcome of that question, then you'll get sucked right back into that cycle of hoping and wishing and praying and having expectations that aren't ever going to be fulfilled. So if you say, what if they do change? If that's your question, then be curious about it. Well, if they do change, how would that look? Be detached from the outcome? How would that look? What would they have to do differently in order for that change to take place? What would need to happen in order for them to change? And your answer can't be, all I have to do is change myself. That can't be the answer. Because even if you change around people like that, they'll find something else. So it's not you. It's not about you, it's not you. You just happen to be probably the trigger or someone you know is triggering somebody else you know, and they're having a hard time, but it's just because that person is in place of any other person that could be there and also act as the trigger. But it's not the person themselves. It's just the existence of anyone. Which is why people like this that are hard to deal with, that are toxic, sometimes they're better alone until they figure themselves out. And that's not always possible because we're around certain people like that and they're never alone, or we're always around them or whatever. But if they had enough time alone, they might be able to figure it out. Or if they had enough help, professional help, or a best friend that says, hey, you know, when you show up like that, you're really turning a lot of people off and it would be great if they listen to them. But it doesn't always happen. So what if they do change? It's a philosophical question. It's a question for your curiosity and fascination. Because if they do change. It would look like this, and that would be pretty cool. That would be nice. But then we don't want to instill that as a belief system or have a reliance on that outcome. It's best, in my opinion, to say, that'll never happen. This is how it is. And then the magic line, if it does happen, that'll be great. That's it. That's the magic line that kind of wraps everything up. If it does happen, great. But for now, this is what I believe. It's about instilling a belief system that works for you, that serves you, that allows you to move forward without expecting anything different. Now, what this can do is bring up fear. Well, if they never change, I'm stuck. I'm completely stuck. And I can't get away from it. I can't get away from this person. And if I'm completely stuck, then what? Then I'm unhappy. Well, you know, my mom was unhappy for 40 years. My mom was with an abusive alcoholic for that number of years. And every day she hoped and wished that he would change. And every day she hated him. And every day she hoped that he wouldn't drink. And every day she would hope that this day would be different. And so every day she would disappoint herself because she raised her expectations. Maybe he didn't drink at whatever time he started 9am or whatever it was. And when he didn't drink until like 10:30, she had hopes that maybe he wouldn't drink today. But it never happened. He always drank and he always got drunk and he always got mean. And. And so every day she would be in this place of hoping and wishing and praying that he would change. And of course, who wouldn't? Who wouldn't be in that space? I don't blame her for that. But she never got to the point where she said, no, this is who he is and how he is and how he will always be in my entire time of knowing her, which is my entire life. But every time I talked to her about him, the way she responded was, I hope he doesn't drink today, or I hope this is a good day. And it's always about hope and something changing in the future or changing right now and in the near future. I don't want this to happen today. It was always that way. My mom never said, that's who he is. This is what I expect. And so there's nothing I can do about it. So I'm just going to make another choice today or hang out somewhere else, be somewhere else Be with my friends. I mean, there were times that she did that, of course, but every time I talked to her about him, it was always about, I hope he doesn't do that today. I hope he's different today. And so I saw this pattern over and over again in my mom's life, and I had this same pattern. I had this exact same pattern when I was growing up in the same household when I was a kid and I grew up, I hope he doesn't drink today. I hope today is a better day. I had that exact same pattern. So anyone in that pattern, I'm not saying that it's wrong or dysfunctional or you're not thinking clearly. It's not that at all. Because anyone who's been in this situation knows what it's like. They don't want it to happen again. They hope it doesn't happen again. But when we grow up and when we're in adult relationships and we can look at another adult and finally say, I know how this will be today. I know how this will be next week. I know how this will be ongoing, then we can let go of something. And that something, when we let it go, allows us to maybe think for the first time about something different, instead of hoping things will be different, knowing that they won't. What can I choose for myself today that might be a new thought? What can I choose for myself today? Instead of saying, well, what can I do that won't upset that person? What can I do or say that won't make me have to deal with their reaction? Instead of thinking that way, maybe the line of thinking will be different. And again, I'm not saying this is easy. I'm not saying it's even possible. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes you can say, well, I'll just do what I want to do today and not think about them being any different than they always are. But. But it's going to cause trouble, it's going to cause a problem, because that's who they are. I mean, you're telling me to accept who they are. I do accept who they are. That's the problem. I know who they are. I know how they'll show up. That's exactly what's going to happen. This is why I'm in this situation in the first place. You might say to me, and I get it, but when you have the thought that somebody will never, ever change and you have no choice but to accept them as they are, you might also have a new thought come to mind. And that new thought is Going to start off like, well, if I know they'll never, ever change, if I believe that 100%, and this is the way it will be from this point forward indefinitely, then would I make another decision for myself, knowing that it will never change, knowing that I'll never see another side of this person, another version of this person? This is the version I'll always get knowing that what would I do or say? Or how would I be different? How would I show up differently? Somebody might say, well, I'm not going to show up differently, because if I do, it'll cause more problems. Well, let's just say that this is going to be the way it is for the rest of the time that you are around this person. And now you have an opportunity to think outside the box a little bit and ask yourself, okay, maybe now that I know this is the way it will always be, should I do something different? Because if you say, no, I shouldn't do anything different. Now you're in a situation where you know the person won't change, and you are coming to terms with not doing anything different, which can be very difficult. It can be very difficult to look at that outcome and have this realization that you're completely stuck. I'm completely stuck. I can't get out of this relationship, or I can't get away from that person. I am stuck. So this is where we push our brain to the limit. When you push your brain to the limit, your limit is the extent of the Runway you've built inside your head, that when the Runway ends, you believe there's no more Runway. You believe there's no other way beyond that. The Runway has ended, and there's nowhere else to go. So I guess I have to turn around and go back down the road or the Runway. And when you believe the Runway has ended, that is when we stop pushing ourselves. That is when we stop with a thought process of, what else could I do? What else can I do? What else should I do? When we stop thinking like that, it's usually because we've limited ourselves, or we feel like there's no other choice, there's no other option, and we don't present ourselves with any other option. For example, I can't do anything about it because I have no money. When you think like that, that is the end of your Runway. In your head, you get to the point where you say, I have no more money. I can't do anything about it. It's funny. I was just thinking about the person I was thinking about earlier who Has a problem with their dad. They believe because money drives a lot of everything they do, that they can't leave their situation. They can't get away from certain people. And so because they aren't making the money that they want to make, they believe that's the end of the Runway and there's nothing they can do. So they feel stuck. Even though me, as an outside observer, will look at that and say, I would rather live in my car than live in the situation that you're in. I would rather be away from that toxic environment than be in that toxic environment every time. That doesn't mean that's the right decision. I'm just saying the end of my Runway goes a lot farther. It goes a lot farther. It goes through the woods, it goes across the highways. It goes so far. I think that comes from having so many extreme challenges, like extreme life experience, I guess you could say. Breaking down in the desert in Arizona, that was an extreme experience. Being completely broke and homeless, having no money, having to go to the soup kitchen every day for months and get boxes of food from churches and things like that and get into the welfare system we had. There are. What are they called? EBT cards. It's been so long, but I was in that system. I had my picture taken at a homeless shelter because that's what they did. They identified you. I mean, all of these extreme life challenges, I've been through breakups, I've been through divorces, I've been through depression. All these extreme life challenges have extended my Runway almost indefinitely. And the reason it has. The main reason that my Runway is so long is because I can look at all of these extreme challenges in my life and tell myself, damn it, I made it through. I lived. I survived. I made it through that. And if I can make it through that, I can do it again if I have to. If I lost my source of income today, I know I would make it. I know I would be fine. It would stress the hell out of me, but I know I can make it. I know I would get through it. I would be okay in the end. When I worked with clients one on one, I had so many systems working for me at once. I had an app to take notes. I had another app that had their contact info. I would send them invoices from another app. And I didn't have all the regulations that therapists had to follow because I'm not a therapist, but it was still a challenge. But if you're a therapist listening right now, you know how overwhelming it can be you already know that your work doesn't end when the session does. There's scheduling, notes and billing, insurance follow ups. All of the admin that happens before and after the work that you actually care about. That's why I want to share with you Simple Practice Simple Practice is an all in one EHR that is HIPAA compliant, High Trust certified, and built specifically for therapists. It brings scheduling, billing, insurance, and client communication into one place so that you're not juggling multiple systems. Automated appointment reminders help reduce no shows and note templates make documentation faster so the business side of your practice feels lighter. And if you're just starting out or growing your practice, there's a credentialing service that takes the headache out of insurance enrollment, which honestly can be a huge lift. If you're ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try Simple Practice. Start with a seven day free trial and then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to SimplePractice.com to claim the offer. Again, that's SimplePractice.com. When you survive the extreme challenges that life throws at you, you gain more life experience. And the more life experience you have, the longer your Runway gets. And that Runway reassures you that you'll make it through it. Just like when you listen to this show or you listen or read about anyone that has been through any huge challenge, their perspective changes. And if you yourself haven't had any huge well, you probably have because you're listening to the show. But if you haven't had any huge challenges in your life, it can be more difficult because you don't realize you can make it through it. You'll survive. It's one of the lessons I learned from that book. I've said it before. What is it? Is it think and grow Rich? It was something that I read in that book that didn't have anything to do with what it said. What I learned in that book, I think that's the book. What I learned is that if you want to be successful, keep going in that direction. Keep plugging away at whatever you're doing until you're either exhausted or dead. I'm not saying that's a great lesson for anyone, but it was a perfect lesson for me because it taught me the importance of resilience and getting through the challenges. I remember. I remember being at the top of my anxiety, the panic attack that I'd never experienced in my life. I was having a panic attack when my car broke down in Flagstaff, Arizona. And they couldn't look at it till Tuesday, which was three days away. I didn't have any money. I didn't have any food. Was I going to stay in my car for three days? I didn't know what to do. I told that story in several other episodes. But the breakdown of that. No pun intended, my car broke down. But the breakdown of that entire story was I was stuck. And I believed that there was no way out. And the panic attack was the result of me believing that I was completely out of options. That was why I panicked. I was completely out of options. And after surviving that, and that's a strong word because it wasn't like I was dying. I mean, I was at a service station. So I did find a person to talk to. And I'm sure he would have given me his phone to call somebody, but I didn't know anybody in Arizona. I was able to call my wife, my previous wife, because I had a cell phone. I guess that was the time when cell phones were already invented. So it wasn't too long ago. But I called her and I told her, I don't know what to do. And I was nearly crying, and I was panicking. And I survived that. I survived it. I survived it because I actually, in that moment, I decided to add more Runway. I decided that this Runway wasn't long enough. So what do I need to do? I need to consider the previously in what is it inconsiderable. I need to consider something that I would never consider before, or I wouldn't have considered. You know, while I'm stuck in this place in the desert in Arizona. What would I not consider before? What I didn't consider before is taking the last of my money and buying a bus ticket in, going a thousand miles or traveling a thousand miles home. I didn't consider that because I didn't want to leave my car and all the. All of my possessions in my car. I couldn't do it. I was attached to attachments. I could not. Couldn't do it. I did not want to consider that that was not an option. And that was where my Runway ended. And right then and there, because my Runway ended there, I was stuck. I put myself in that stuck place because I would not leave my car behind. That was the extent of my Runway. And I hope this metaphor makes sense, because I'm using it in a visual way so that when you think you have no more options, it's usually because you haven't thought beyond to the inconsiderable. When the Runway in your head ends. That is because you are either refusing or choosing not to consider anything beyond what you've already considered. That is the box of our thinking. That is when you say, well, there's nothing else I can do. I'm stuck. This is all I have. This is all I got. This is the only outcome that I'm going to have. And that's what's going to put me in a panic, or that's what's going to stress me out, or that's my belief for the rest of my life, or whatever it is, because this is where it ends. So the Runway in our head is basically where we stop thinking, whether we choose to, or we don't think there's any other alternative, and we just don't know how to get there. And sometimes we do have to consider the inconsiderable in order to get past where we believe the Runway ends, and we have to build beyond that. That's what I did that day in Arizona. I built beyond that Runway. And I finally decided, after several hours of panicking and near crying and just not knowing what to do, I finally told myself, what am I doing? Why don't I just sell my car and everything in it for a bus ticket and go home? That is exactly what I did. The tow truck driver came, and it wasn't my tow truck driver. He just came to the service shop to talk to those guys or talk to the guy inside. And I talked to him, and I said, hey, would you like to buy my car and everything in it for 200 bucks so I can get a bus ticket home? And it didn't take them long because there were tools in there and all kinds of stuff that I was leaving behind, thousands of dollars worth of stuff, including my car, which probably could have been fixed, I don't know, But I couldn't afford it, so I did. I sold him the car and everything in it. And that was the day that I let go of attachments. At least most of them, most of the attachments in my life, because I chose to let go of what I wouldn't ever consider letting go of before. And when I let that stuff go, my life changed. That was an extreme life challenge that put me through the wringer. It made me different. It altered my perspective. It altered my life, and made me realize that I was so attached to things, that they were keeping me from moving forward. And then I realized, gee, you know, the more things I have, the more things I have to stress about. And so I need to minimize a bit I need to stop collecting things. I don't need that giant box of audio and video and speaker wire in the garage. Get rid of it. If I really need one, I'll go buy it. Or if I really believe that I'm going to need it someday, at least Keep 1. Not 500 versions of the same wire. Don't need it. I'm speaking from experience. That's exactly what happened to me. I used to keep this box of wire, take it with me everywhere I move. And I said, what am I doing? I never come out here and get anything from that box of wire. I got rid of it, and I never missed it. I never needed another wire. I don't know why. I guess everything comes with wires. And so that was a lesson that I learned, that I didn't need everything I thought I needed. It's nice to have on a rainy day. Yes, it's nice to save 10, 20, 30 bucks on a wire or cable or whatever. But carrying it around was like a symbol of my attachment to things, of my inability to let things go and to move forward. And when I got rid of it, it was the first of many things that I just started minimizing in my life. I'm not saying I'm great, I'm perfect, or I have no attachments whatsoever. I'm saying that it's a lot easier to let things go, and it's a lot easier to make harder decisions, maybe letting things go so I'm not stuck. Like, when I got a new vehicle, I gave my mom my old vehicle. I didn't think about selling it. I said, I got to give this to my mom. It wasn't about making more money or, you know, I didn't want to do that because my mom needed a vehicle. That's who I gave it to. And I told her, it's going to outlast you. She said, that's the best news I've ever heard. And she still loves it. She still drives it. I'm so happy that she has it and that I gave it to her. I feel good about it as her son. And it made me realize that I probably wouldn't have done that had I not broken down in the desert that day, had I not been completely broke in my life at that one time in my life, had I not gone through all the challenges that I went through, because I believe that when it's time to get rid of something, you should sell it to make money. And, yeah, I still believe you can do that, but do you have to? Is it something that is absolutely necessary. And I decided, no, sometimes it's not necessary. My wife and I were just having this conversation. We have stuff downstairs in the basement that we want to get rid of. And we talked back and forth. And she said, let's just give it to somebody in the neighborhood. I thought, really? Oh, okay. And I had to think twice because I thought, well, I paid like 200 something bucks for that, so that's still kind of in there. But then I realized, why not? I mean, what if I was like 90 or getting close to that age where I am now realizing that I can't bring it with me? Why wouldn't I give all this stuff away? Makes sense to me, but that's me. But my entire point, my whole point about this isn't my sob stories or anything like that. It's not that at all. It's about expanding your mind, allowing yourself to think about the unconsiderable and making those options. Because when you get to that wall of thinking where you can't think of any other option, you feel completely stuck. And that's it. What else haven't you considered? Because you won't. And that's when your brain starts expanding and continuing to build that Runway even further and further down. And once you have a longer Runway, boy, things open up. You have more choices, more options, and that can be liberating. I'm not saying this is a magic pill. I'm saying that sometimes we do need to stretch ourselves beyond the way we think today. Because I Learned this like 20 years ago. I learned how we put ourselves in this box of thinking. And then when we get to that point boundary that it's like a neural boundary where our brain says, nope, can't think beyond that, otherwise we'll experience something bad. So don't think beyond that. But if we don't think beyond that, we don't give ourselves any extra choices. We don't see what could be what is possible because we haven't pushed ourselves beyond that. So we don't consider it. Like, I don't want to consider that. Like my mom probably said, I never want to consider what it's like to leave the. This abusive relationship. So I will find ways to deal with this abusive relationship and not accept it and hate every day that I'm in it, but I'm too scared to leave because I don't know what's on the other side. So we sometimes make choices that leave us in. Could be a toxic relationship, could be a toxic workplace. It could be something that just doesn't serve you anymore. Yet we've put ourselves in that box of thinking that makes us believe that we can't do anything beyond that because we're stuck. And I'm not saying there aren't situations that we can't get out of, because sometimes we are kind of stuck for a while. But don't ever let your thinking stop. Continue thinking beyond beyond what you normally think. Ask Yourself Questions this is why I ask myself the drill down questions. If you've ever heard me talk about those the Drill down Questions if you go to TheOverwhelmedBrain.com and look for the word stupid in the search field you will find an article called Stupid Questions that Lead to Healing. Those are drill down questions that push you beyond your own thought processes. And it's especially useful with emotional stuff like okay, I'm sad because this happened. Well, why are you sad? Well, I'm sad because it's obvious. I'm sad because so and so did this to me or so and so called me a name or whatever. Okay, what about that makes you sad? What do you mean what about that makes you sad? These are what I call stupid questions that lead to healing because they drill down further and further and further beyond the way you normally think until you get to the deepest root stuff, way down in that deep well of what's in there, what's beneath that, what's below the layers. That's the kind of thinking that pushes you beyond what you'd normally or how you'd normally think. So those can be helpful. And this is especially helpful for anyone that is young. If you're young listening to this and you have any sort of bad thoughts or you are into self harm or you are considering, I'll just be straight with you. If you're considering suicide or anything like that, any of the the self hurt, self harm or depressed even if you're just feeling down and you believe there's no way out or this is how life will always be, it's just not true. Because you probably haven't had enough extreme life challenges. Or maybe you have, and maybe they've all been terrible. But sometimes life does this to us. Sometimes people do this to us. And we can either grow stronger from those events or we can keep letting them bring us down. And I know you've heard that before. Common Sense, Personal Growth 101 Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It's not always true. Sometimes whatever doesn't kill us makes us weaker and more bitter or whatever. But the goal is for those things to make us stronger. And how can they do that? This is how I do it. This is how I do it. By saying, I survived it, damn it, I made it through that. And if I can make it through that, I can make it through anything. If I've been broke before, I don't want to be broke again. But if it happened, I know I'll make it through it. I know I'll be fine. I'll make it. And having that kind of attitude and philosophy, it normally comes with extreme challenges in your life, but it can also come just by starting to think differently about all your challenges that come your way. I don't know if this helps you or not, but I just wanted to talk about this today. It's just something that has been on my mind. I appreciate you. Thank you for listening to another episode of the Overwhelmed Brain. I want to thank the patrons of the week, Paige and Stephen, and wow, Sandra. Sandra decided to donate a very generous amount. She said, hi, Paul. Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement. Have a wonderful 2026. Sandra, I am so grateful for you. Sandra, thank you so much. That surprised me. That is a wonderfully generous gift. Thank you so much, Sandra. I am very grateful. And to all of the patrons who give every month, I am so grateful for you. And it always warms my heart that you, you want to give to me. Give to the show, that you find value in this show and you want to give back. And I am once again very grateful. And another shout out to Brad, who shared me his wedding photos. I haven't looked at him yet. I'm. They're sitting in my inbox. I can't wait to see them. But he, he sent me a nice, wonderful, wonderful letter that I think I read some of it on the air last time. But thanks to all the patrons. Thank you, Sandra. Thank you, Brad, everyone that gives back to the show. My heart is warm because of you. And thank you to everyone who values this show. And if you want to give back, you can do so over@moretob.com just like these patrons did. And there are options to give back over there. And for a show on how to navigate the difficult relationship, listen to my other podcast called Love and abuse over@loveandabuse.com and if you know you're the difficult one in the relationship, join the program that is helping a lot of people heal over@HealedBeing.com and with that, always keep your mind open because that's how you make the best decisions. Be firm in your decisions and actions so that you can create the life you want. Always take steps to grow and evolve. You are powerful beyond measure. And above all, and this is something I absolutely know to be true about you. You are amazing, Sam. Sa.