626: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 626 - "Chimps Gone Wild"

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Pete and Sebastian Show - Episode 626: "Chimps Gone Wild"

Introduction

In Episode 626 titled "Chimps Gone Wild," hosts Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco delve into a mix of personal anecdotes, humorous hypotheticals, and startling stories involving animal attacks. The conversation seamlessly weaves through topics ranging from professional experiences at Madison Square Garden to the unsettling behaviors of chimpanzees, all delivered with the duo's characteristic comedic flair.

Discussion on Sidney Crosby and Fake Teeth

The episode opens with Pete and Sebastian reminiscing about their encounter with Sidney Crosby, the renowned Pittsburgh Penguins player. Pete shares a humorous observation about Crosby's dental work:

Pete Correale [06:02]: "Yeah. And then I said, well, listen, they're perfect, but they're not like soap opera perfect."

Sebastian adds his own take on athletes with prosthetic teeth:

Sebastian Maniscalco [08:44]: "They might be, but I think if the fake tooth gets knocked out, it's almost like your shoelaces untied."

The conversation highlights the challenges athletes face with dental prosthetics, especially in high-contact sports like hockey. They humorously speculate on the daily inconveniences and the impact on personal relationships, emphasizing the importance of transparency about such physical traits.

Navigating Physical Traits in Relationships

Building on the topic of fake teeth, Pete and Sebastian explore the broader theme of disclosing physical characteristics in romantic relationships. Sebastian humorously questions the necessity of revealing minor physical differences:

Sebastian Maniscalco [15:13]: "Yeah, listen. Yeah, there's no divorce there. But what I'm saying is, like, you can't unsee that."

Pete counters with his own extreme hypothetical scenarios, underscoring the comedic absurdity:

Pete Correale [17:36]: "I feel like I shouldn't say anything on a first date, but by the second date, if I had 11 toes, I feel like I should tell you that."

Their banter extends to other unusual physical traits, such as third nipples and unnecessary body hair, maintaining a light-hearted tone while navigating the nuances of personal disclosure.

Experiences at Madison Square Garden

Shifting gears, the hosts discuss their experiences performing at the iconic Madison Square Garden. Pete shares a memorable moment about having his photo displayed on the Garden's prestigious wall, surrounded by legends like Eric Clapton and Bruce Springsteen:

Pete Correale [34:12]: "We did 10 sold out shows here at the Garden over my Career. What do you got to do to get on the wall?"

Sebastian recounts an unexpected interaction with the Garden's General Manager, Bobby, who is an avid listener of their podcast. This encounter leads to a humorous contemplation about the permanence of their photo in such a legendary venue.

Tipping Etiquette: Private Tours and Flights

Following their Garden stories, Pete and Sebastian engage in an insightful discussion about tipping etiquette, particularly in unique settings like private tours and flights. Sebastian shares his experiences of tipping tour guides:

Sebastian Maniscalco [39:29]: "I generally do it after. Here's the thing, though. When you fly in these private plane jets, right, from my research, it's customary to tip the pilots."

Pete adds his humorous perspective on tipping under dire circumstances:

Pete Correale [42:21]: "How come there's no like dark web where you catch a grizzly and you starve the grizzly... How much would you pay?"

Their dialogue underscores the varying expectations of tipping across different services, blending practical advice with comedic exaggeration.

"Chimps Gone Wild": The Harrowing Attack Story

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to narrating a harrowing true story involving chimpanzees. Pete and Sebastian recount the tragic events where chimpanzees attacked and maimed their owners during a birthday celebration:

Pete Correale [61:58]: "Buddy and Holly destroyed a majority of the guy's fingers, his left foot, and took off half of his ass. They removed a ass cheek out of this guy, right."

Sebastian reflects on the intelligence and communicative abilities of chimpanzees, speculating whether such attacks are orchestrated:

Sebastian Maniscalco [50:10]: "There's a communication. It's absolutely happening."

The hosts delve into the implications of animals possessing complex communication skills, questioning the boundary between human-like intentions and inherent animal behavior. They discuss the aftermath of the attack, including legal battles and the fate of the chimpanzees involved.

Comparisons of Animal Strength

To further explore the theme of animal aggression, Pete and Sebastian compare the strengths of various animals, debating scenarios where different species might overpower each other:

Sebastian Maniscalco [51:57]: "A mature gorilla can lift how much do you think in pounds."

Pete Correale [50:22]: "I'm pretty sure gorilla has a strength of like six men."

They extend their comparison to bears and crocodiles, humorously envisioning chaotic battles in controlled environments, while also questioning the ethics and feasibility of such confrontations.

Concluding Thoughts

As the episode draws to a close, Pete and Sebastian reflect on the intense and varied discussions they've had, acknowledging the blend of dark humor and real-life concerns they've touched upon. Sebastian emphasizes the unconventional nature of their conversation topics:

Sebastian Maniscalco [68:57]: "This is what happens when you have a chimpanzee. He's got no fucking nose, bro."

Pete concurs, appreciating the diverse range of topics that keep their podcast engaging:

Pete Correeli [69:32]: "It's a good driving show. Good driving."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Pete Correale [07:31]: "Anybody in their 30s, even early 40s, I feel like I could be their dad."

• Sebastian Maniscalco [15:13]: "Yeah, listen. Yeah, there's no divorce there. But what I'm saying is, like, you can't unsee that."

• Sebastian Maniscalco [18:32]: "Nip it in the bud."

• Pete Correale [47:03]: "I think he got to the sanctuary, started talking to the chimpanzees. They're like, what the are you doing here?"

• Sebastian Maniscalco [51:57]: "A mature gorilla can lift how much do you think in pounds."

• Pete Correale [61:58]: "Buddy and Holly destroyed a majority of the guy's fingers, his left foot, and took off half of his ass."

Conclusion

Episode 626 of The Pete and Sebastian Show offers a compelling mix of humor, personal stories, and intense discussions about animal behavior. From the light-hearted take on athletic prosthetics to the deeply unsettling account of chimpanzee attacks, Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco deliver a multifaceted episode that entertains while provoking thought on unexpected topics.

Transcript

[Pete Corielli]

This podcast is brought to you by Aura A Complete Online Safety Toolkit this past summer, National Public Data reported a breach potentially affecting Every American. Over 2.9 billion records used for background checks were stolen. If safeguarding personal information wasn't a priority before this incident should serve as a critical wake up call. You're more vulnerable than ever in today's digital landscape. That's why we're thrilled to partner with Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users phone numbers, emails and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. Additionally, Aura provides up to 5 million in identity theft insurance, offering a robust safety net in the event of a worst case scenario. Aura is a complete online safety toolkit which includes a variety of other features to keep you safe online, including a VPN for secure browsing data broker opt out to stop companies from selling your personal information and a password manager to help you create and store strong passwords for a limited time. Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online, all for free when you visit aura.com defends that's aura.com defends to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's a u r a.com defense. Certain terms apply so be sure to check the site for details. Mando thanks to Mando for sponsoring this episode. I'm sure you've heard me talk about Mando. I've been talking about it a lot now. Mando Whole Body Deodorant at this point you can use it on your whole body and I do. Yes, your whole body. It's dermatologist tested and gentle on all your bits. You can choose from four cologne quality scents or unscented. If you want to get stealthy man ready to make the upgrade to Mando, you should be. You got to go to Mando as a special offense. New customers get $5 off Mando's best selling starter pack with the code the [e-mail] what I like best about Mando, honestly is it just works. It really does. It's great stuff and it keeps you odorless. I like to use the unscented and Mando is seriously safe to use anywhere in your body. Your pits, packages, belly buttons, butt cracks, stinky crevices, stomach folds and feet. Anywhere you stink people. You can do Mando and it'll help you. And Mando's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant. Two free products of your choice, like mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping. The deodorant wipes are great when you're in a pinch. Maybe you work out, you don't have a chance to get in the shower right away. I mean, I have them. I use them all the time. Just a phenomenal product. Luckily, we also have a discount code to help you get hooked on our new favorite smelling body deodorant on the market. New customers get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack use code. The cast at Shopmando. That's S H O P M A N D O dot com. This is the Pete and Sebastian show with Pete Corielli and Sebastian Maniscalco. Guys, don't forget, if you haven't heard yet, every Tuesday we do loose ends live. I host the show on the Pete and Sebastian channel where, you know, we discuss things that, you know, loose ends from the cast. We also get into other stuff. Me and Cans do this video thing each week. DJ Lou calls in each week, and most importantly, all the listeners can call in. We take tons of calls face to face. You get to talk to me often. You get to talk to Sebastian every Tuesday. For five bucks a month. You get loose ends. You get four regular episodes of the cast commercial free and a bonus one. I mean, it's. It's. I don't know what else to say, man. You should join us.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's.

[Pete Corielli]

We're having a lot of fun over there.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So just give you an idea what the hell's going on here at the Pete and Sebastian show? It looks like Patrick's gonna build a shed. The amount of that's out behind me is. I just. I'm gonna have. Pete, do you have access to a cell phone there where I could FaceTime you?

[Pete Corielli]

Yes, right here.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, I'm just gonna show you what the I'm looking at because this is what we're trying to do. Or what we're doing is trying to get me to hear myself in the. In the monitors here. Okay. First the wiring is. Wow. And then this.

[Pete Corielli]

That looks like Christmas vacation with Chevy Chase right when he went to plug in the lights.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, there's a lot going on here. I mean, there's this everywhere, so.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, wow.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Let me. Let me hang up here and we'll talk to you here. So. Yeah, this is really weird to get used to listening to myself in these earbuds. Strange. Let's pick up from maybe last cast we got.

[Pete Corielli]

Let's do that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

To meet. Yeah, we got a chance to meet Sydney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins, which couldn't be a nicer guy. And you had made a comment to him. And I'll let you explain kind of what happened.

[Pete Corielli]

By the way, you realize he's like top five of all time, like the greatest man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. And so there's a couple like 37, 38 years old, top 10 in scoring, along with a bunch of other accolades. So, yeah, this guy is, you know, one of the best ever.

[Pete Corielli]

So with your new headphones, are you going to do the whole show like it's AM radio? Is that what we're going to do? Holy mellow guy. I mean, I feel like we're doing a political Talk show on AM radio. Yes. He's a 37 year old. Well, maybe you'll get used to it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, fuck it, it's over. Cut the shit right now. Testing. Yeah. Okay, here we go. We're back, we're back, we're back.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, yeah, I'd rather. I'd rather see your knee again, which is fine, I swear. At least it's you. What is your take on. Maybe they could impose. Put a photo up here of Sydney and you, but. And me or whatever. But. Oh, yeah, we took them separate. So if you got a photo of you and Sydney, I'm looking at this kid. I just did it again. I'm looking at Sidney Crosby like he's about 22 years old. Like, as I get older, everybody, even in their 30s is coming across like, you know, they might mow my lawn if I gave him $20. Like just a boy. So is that because I'm getting older? Is that why we do that?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, anybody in their 30s, even early 40s, I feel like I could be their dad. Right?

[Pete Corielli]

That's. Yeah, that's. That's a. Yeah, that's the best way to put it, man. Now, good looking guy couldn't have been any nicer. I was like, I mean, because you met him and then I was told. And they got him to come back over for the opener. What a nice guy. And when I met him, you were there and we were talking with him. I go, have you ever had your teeth knocked out? Have you lose your teeth? Because I always see hockey players do. And he goes, yeah, no, these a long time ago. I got them knocked out. So these have. I said, those are real teeth. And he goes, no, I got them knocked out a long time ago. Got that out of the way and got these put in. And then I said, which shit I thought was a compliment. I go, bro, way to go with like, having your fake teeth be almost perfect, but not perfect, so that way people aren't even sure if dead real or fake. And then he said, well, I thought they were perfect. And then I said, well, listen, they're perfect, but they're not like soap opera perfect.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

They.

[Pete Corielli]

Look, I was trying to dig my way out of it, but yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I would do. I've seen too many people go with fake teeth and they so perfect that it's obvious. Don't you. You know what I mean?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, do you think they were perfect? Well, here's. Here's the whole thing with the fake teeth. Don't fake teeth fall out too? Like you're playing hockey, right? Your real teeth get knocked out, right? Then you put fake teeth in and what, they stay in? Or do you. Does he take his fake teeth out for a game? Are these teeth. Are these teeth like dentures or are these teeth. Because why aren't the fake teeth getting knocked out?

[Pete Corielli]

They might be, but I think if the fake tooth gets knocked out, it's almost like your shoelaces untied. You probably got extra teeth in your locker, you know? But when the real one first gets knocked out, it's a whole thing. A blood. You know, when the fake ones get, you know, it's like a contact. You just pop that bitch right back in. I don't know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Or is it a mouthpiece that they just throw over there? Like it. If he was going, yeah, they're not perfect. And then he took them out and he's got nothing. He puts him back in. I.

[Pete Corielli]

I can't imagine. S. I can't imagine. Sidney Crosby's got teeth that come out. He's in the morning, he's like, yeah, nah, they got to be perm. Can we get a Google on that?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Do a good one. Hockey. Fake teeth. Are they. Is it a. What is it?

[Pete Corielli]

Do they come out? I meant to ask you too. I don't want to flip over, but. Because I'm going to forget last week.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm sorry. Why does hockey players teeth fall out but boxing doesn't seem to have a problem with it?

[Pete Corielli]

Well, I mean, have you ever like. I have a puck, a real puck. Have you ever held a real puck? Yeah, you recall?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corielli]

You get that? I mean, that's. That's coming at you at 100 miles an hour, right? At those. Well, they got hit you right in the mouth.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Do you think they're getting their teeth knocked out because of the puck? Because of hitting the glass boards? Because of the fighting? Why are these teeth falling out? That's my question.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, I thought the puck, but now you bring up a good point. Are they falling out from under? They all wear. They don't all wear the glass thing. Right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

They don't all the way the glass thing. But if you're saying the teeth are getting knocked out because they're getting hit in the face with a hockey puck, right. Then that to me would say, if you have fake teeth and you're getting hit in the face with a hockey puck, the fake teeth are gone too.

[Pete Corielli]

Right. But the fake teeth are easier to replace the real ones when they first come out, you know, fucking roots coming out. There's blood. That's what I think.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It looks like.

[Pete Corielli]

A lot of them are using retainers.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

After they lose their teeth because then.

[Pete Corielli]

They can pop them out, they can.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Pop them back in quickly without getting.

[Pete Corielli]

New ones bolted in to have those.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But they're getting hit with.

[Pete Corielli]

There you go.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Pucks, fists, boards. Okay, that explains it.

[Pete Corielli]

That's the. I don't know how long I've been doing this with Patrick, but that was the best he's ever done is just pop in information. Gone. Nice, bro. You got a gift, my friend.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's almost like having a voice activated Google.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, that was.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, it really.

[Pete Corielli]

That was nice. Nice job, Patrick. So. So there you go. They got in their lock of four or five set of teeth. So, you know, and then if they get them knocked out, they call the dentist. I'm down to two sets. Give me another set, doc. Now would you. Would you let you start. You're already playing hockey. You meet Lana, you fall in love. Do you. When, when do you let Lana see you without the dentures in, without the retainer in? After the wedding. After the wedding?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. I would go out to dinner, pick her up for dinner or whatever. And then in the car, smile and I got no teeth. I do it as almost a joke.

[Pete Corielli]

I would break up with you if you did that to me. I think that was. I wouldn't want to be with you. That's offsetting.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

If Jackie was in a profession where her teeth were knocked out, Is that a deal breaker?

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah. If she has no teeth.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corielli]

It wouldn't. It wouldn't be. Well, first of all, this really wouldn't happen to women that often, but it wouldn't be until I saw it, like, you know what I'm saying? You have fake teeth in. We're in love. Everything's great. You take them out. Crystal meth head, fucking them out, you know? Okay, you're gonna. I'm gonna. You're gonna pick me up with no teeth? I'm not even getting in the car.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'll throw one at you, Jackie, at dinner tonight, goes Pete, I never told you anything, but when I was a kid, I had all my teeth knocked out. And these are fake. And she takes out her teeth at dinner, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What are you doing?

[Pete Corielli]

I don't know, man. I don't know. I'd ask her to put them back in and. And then. I don't know what. I don't know what. I mean, I remember one time we were walking through FAO Schwartz in New York City during Christmas time, and she was chewing a big piece of gum and she went, oh. And she pulled it out, and the. Her tooth had come out the cap. And even then, if we weren't already married, I was thinking I would have broke up with her before we got out of the lobby. I was already locked in legally, though.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't know.

[Pete Corielli]

What about you? If Lana had no teeth, like, you know, she's showing you that. Oh, I come out when I was younger. I. You know, they got knocked out and.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, listen. Yeah, there's no divorce there. But what I'm saying is, like, you can't unsee that. So it's like, once you see that, you can't unsee it. So, like, even when she puts it back in, I'm gonna still be looking at her going, you got no fucking teeth. So that's always there.

[Pete Corielli]

But I'll give you even a simpler example. Jay Moore's made some fantastic movies. Freaking guy had unbelievable scenes with Tom Cruise. What is the first thing that comes to your mind the rest of your life when you think of actor, comedian Jay Moore?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No teeth.

[Pete Corielli]

That he pulled them out in front of us on the podcast. Right. That's the first thing, I think. That's the first thing I tell people. They go, he's in Jerry Maguire. I go, forget that. One time he came on the cast, said Sebastian had nice teat and then took his out, showed him. Took him out with his tongue.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

He's like. It's like a snake.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah. It's like a pickup moving a ball. Yeah. So. Oh, my God, now what? Now let me ask you. I'm gonna throw another one at you. You meet Lana, you fall in love, and then becomes a point where you gotta. You gotta tell her you have. What's your take on this? You ever see when people have, like, the sixth toe, like a little toe next to the last toe? It's not really a handicap. Doesn't set you back, but it's probably something that should be discussed before being seen. No, I just want to pick you up for a weekend getaway in Mexico. With my 11 toes.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Do you think, to your point, you go on your first vacation together and you go by the pool and you see Jackie's got 11th toe and she didn't tell you about it? Do you think you have to tell the person that you're dating any physical ailments that you have upfront, or do you just find out as you find out?

[Pete Corielli]

It's a great question. It's a great question. I wouldn't. I feel I wouldn't say these things. On a first date, I gotta give myself a fighting chance. But by the second date, if I had 11 toes, I feel like I should tell you that, because, you know, that's not something you want to find out. Like. Well, you don't want to find that out any other way than me telling you. And listen, this might be an edit, but if I meet you and you got 11 toes. Sorry, hereditary. Have a nice day.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You bring up a good point.

[Pete Corielli]

That's something to think about.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, that's such a. Say, like, we're gonna have a kid and then what's gonna happen? Right?

[Pete Corielli]

I don't want to fall in love with you and then have to, like, make that decision. I'd rather just nip this in the bud.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Nip it in the bud.

[Pete Corielli]

By the way, if I met a girl and I did fall in love with her, she had that. Is it out of line to ask her if she would be willing, you know, in surgery, just get. Get. You know, let's get rid of that puppy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. I mean, I think there's a discussion to be had. But, like, anything that you come across on somebody's body and while you're dating. Oh, man, here's another one. You're with a girl, right? And she's got a third nipple. But it's just a nipple. It's not part of the. It's just, like, in the center. It's. I don't know. It's a deformity. Any type of deformity is. Should that. Should that be upfront and. Or should you discover that.

[Pete Corielli]

No, it's the. It's the. It's the double D, bro. It should be discussed before discovered. I am right there with you. You know this ain't like stumbling upon Niagara Falls in 1702. Oh, how beautiful this is. What the is that in between your two nipples?

[Patrick]

This podcast is brought to you by Aura, the Most complete online safety toolkit. 2024 has seen a massive surge in high profile data breaches, raising serious concerns about the security of your personal information. Dell's breach exposed 3.9 million customer records, and Ticketmaster also faced a massive breach, compromising over 560 million records. And most alarming of all, this past summer, National Public Data reported a breach potentially affecting Every single American. 2.9 billion records used for background checks were stolen and released to the public for free. If this all sounds pretty scary, it's because it is. You've never been more vulnerable in the digital world than you are right now. But before I keep spouting dark statistics and grim news stories, I'll share some positive news. This podcast is thrilled to partner with Aura, who monitors the dark web for users phone numbers, emails and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. And even better than that, Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance, making sure you have a safety net in the event of a worst case scenario. Aura is a complete online safety toolkit which includes a variety of other features to keep you safe online. They have a VPN for secure browsing. They even have a password manager to help you create and store strong passwords and more. I've already started all my holiday shopping for my friends and family and I can rest easy knowing that Aura has my back for a limited time. Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free when you visit aura.comdefense that's aura.comdefense to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones once more. That's a u r a.com defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check their site for details.

[Pete Corielli]

Okay? Thanks to Mando for sponsoring this episode. I'm sure you've heard me talk about Mando Whole Body Deodorant at this point. I got this stuff all in my bag. I can't tell you how good this stuff is. They sent me some and I love it. You can use it on your whole body. Yes, your whole freaking body. It's dermatologist tested and gentle on all your bits, man. You can choose from four cologne, quality scents or unscented if you want to get stealthy. I've been using the unscented. It's unbelievable. It really works great. Guys. Ready to make the upgrade to Mando as a special off a new customers get $5 off Mando's best selling starter pack with the code the [e-mail] what I like best about Mando is it just works, man. It keeps you odorless. You can put it anywhere and it helps cover that body odor. Also, Mando is American made. I turned Jackie on to this man. Sometimes when she runs and she can't jump in the shower immediately after this Mando stuff, it just tightens you up scentless. It really cleans you up. And Mando's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant. Two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes. That's what I got. The wipes. That was freaking great. And it all comes with free shipping. Luckily I have a discount code to help you get hooked on our new favorite smelling whole body deodorant on the market. New customers get $5 off the starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack. Use the code the [e-mail] that's all one word. Shopmando.com s h o p m a n d o.com well, here like Lance.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Armstrong's got one nut because he had cancer, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Now we all know that because he's famous. But if he's just a guy and he's got one nut, don't you got to tell the girl going in, Listen, just so you know, I got one ball. No, I think I could.

[Pete Corielli]

I think if I had one ball. Jackie still might not know up until this point. Right? Right. I can't recall her ever cupping both balls and like, you know what I'm saying? You know, I mean that. How about this one is a little more hits home with a lot of men. You're uncircumcised, but you're not Jewish. Wife's going to make love. Girlfriends going to make love. Do you let her know what's going on down there? Listen, it's going to look a little different than what you probably used to see when you get down there. Don't be alarmed.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I think, I think. Jesus Christ. Listen, I think if you start saying to girls that you're uncircumcised, that might be if that might be a deal breaker.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, you think so?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't. I Don't know.

[Pete Corielli]

I don't know if that's a big deal though. I. If I was a woman and you weren't circumcised, my first question would be, is it going to make it less pleasurable for me? And if it's. If the answer is no, it won't make it any less pleasurable for you, then I'm in. I mean, that's not too old. That's, you know. But I appreciate you telling me before I get down there and see that trumpet.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You know what if the girl. Three inch nipples, right? You take out her fucking nipples.

[Pete Corielli]

Biggest ones you'll ever see in your life. Is that what you say?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm talking out like they fucked. The actual nipple is coming off the. Not huge, like the areola. I'm talking the nipple. You're like, jesus Christ, what the fuck are these? Don't you need to know that going in? My nipples are huge.

[Pete Corielli]

I think that's, I think that's like a nice surprise, you know, like a little more whipped cream on your pie than you expected. I think I have a problem with that. You know, what about woman decides not to shave her armpits. You think she should let you know that before you get under there and get at it?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, that's something where that will stop you in your tracks. You're making out with a girl and she puts her arms over her head like this and you see a full bush to me. I go, whoa, whoa, where are we going with that? You don't just continue.

[Pete Corielli]

What? No, I couldn't. I think I'd rather make love to a clean shaven man in a dress than a woman with arm hair. Like, like, like, like it's the most off putting thing in the world on a woman is hair on the. You ever see a woman get out of the water sometimes and like they hadn't been a shave in a while and the hair's doing what mine does when I get out of the water on the leg. I feel bad for women. When did it become that they should have never did that out of the gate. If they never did that, we never would expect all that, right? They. The first woman who shaved all that ruined it for all the other women because now they all got to do it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Was that a collective thing that women started doing or did one woman start doing it and then like, yeah, that's a good idea. Like, yeah, body hair in general, you know, like men shave their body hair now, right? So is that just evolutionary? Like men just caught on to that within the last 20 years.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, right. Think about it, man. I mean, they always say how beautiful Cleopatra was back in the day, but when she leaned back like this and they fed her a grape, she probably had two bushes like us. Oh, God. Can you imagine that? They don't show you that in a painting.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, here, like, I think we talked about this. Men grow hair on their ass, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah. Yes.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Do women?

[Pete Corielli]

That's a good point. I've never been with a woman who had hair in her ass.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's what I'm saying. Like, can you look that up, Google? Could you look up why women don't grow hair on their ass? Because I don't think a lot of women. I mean, I know for sure Milana's not shaving her ass because there's no hair there.

[Pete Corielli]

Well, I mean, years ago, women didn't shave down there, and men loved it, and now it's the exact opposite.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Like, you know, man, I just want.

[Pete Corielli]

I would like to know, how did they start shaving the arm hair, bro? Who did that first? Like, is there. Can we find that out?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

When did that become that out, too? Just again, Patrick, if you could just do a beautiful synopsis like you did last time, it would be really helpful to the conversation.

[Pete Corielli]

Likely. I'd like a Google. I'd like a Google image on a hairy. A woman's hairy ass, because I've never seen it. And if you could find a Google on an attractive woman with a hairy ass. I want to see if, like, if you see a beautiful woman and, like, and she takes her pants off and her ass is as hairy as yours. Jesus.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, but that's. Is that a discussion? Is that like, hey, listen, just so you know, Pete, I got hair on my ass. And they're like, what?

[Pete Corielli]

I. I need to see a photo. I can't even envision this, bro. It's like someone telling me there's a. A zebra, and I never seen a zebra. Even if you wax that or narrow it, it's like, I don't know, man. It's. Anyway, I don't know how we went.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Down that fun path, man. What are we. This is just like, not even our podcast, bro. This is like, why are you talking.

[Pete Corielli]

About something we always do? We go down. You're crazy. We're all.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Let's go back to what, three nipples and. Three nipples and. And three inch tits. What the. What do we become? This might get us ratings, bro. We put this up on the Pete and Sebastian show page. Maybe we'll get a couple hits on It.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, there you go. Although we are dancing in the top 100 though right now.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

We're out today. Coming into this is 153. I think we got a bump from the toast. And that's. It fell out.

[Pete Corielli]

I appreciate that. Well, 153 is admirable. Still gonna try my hardest.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So let's talk to. Talk about Madison Square Garden, right? We did five shows at Madison Square Garden. First show we did that night, Seinfeld came out incredible. I thought it was. I got chills when he went out there because the crowd went nuts. Just crazy. Standing ovation for him. Standing ovation off the stage. He said he felt it was. He had never performed at the Garden before. He had said afterwards that it was just great being up there. He felt like he was at home. New York guy. So, yeah, it was. It was a nice, nice night. And then moving forward throughout the week, one thing I want to bring up to you, and it's funny, a lot of the stuff I do is just for my own entertainment. Self deprecation, I think. I think I thrive with self deprecating humor. There was a photo of myself in a frame in the hallway of Madison Square Garden. Now we got there on Wednesday. I didn't see it there Wednesday, Thursday I saw it. So they switched somebody else's photo out. I don't know who who it was. And they put my photo there. Now jokingly, I had commented to the security staff there saying, when I leave Sunday, does this photo come down? And they were transparent. And they were like, absolutely comes down. And I was laughing because they were so honest about it. No, that stays up. But they were just very honest about it. We had a good laugh about it. And we started looking around at who was on the wall and Bon Jovi's there, Billy Joel's there, Lady Gaga weekend. So I jokingly said, what do you got to do to get permanent real estate on this damn wall, right? So I went out to do soundcheck. Now I go out to do sound check. And I. And I thank all the people that are working there because there was some security and whatever. I said, thanks for working and being a part of this week with me. And I said, I just found something out in the back that's really disturbing. I feel. I feel like I need to tell you guys, I said, when I leave Sunday, my photo comes down in the back and all I want to know is what you got to do. And we. I did. I've done 10 sold out shows here at the Garden over my Career. What do you got to do to get on the wall? And I laughed and thought, so when we went backstage, we were talking with the guys back there, and my agent was there. He came in later. I said, oh, we're talking about my photo here on the wall. They take it down on Sundays. Isn't that funny? And he came running over. He's like, just don't. You know, I talked to the Garden. They're gonna keep it up. I go, guy, it wasn't like, I'm not like making a campaign for my photo to be up here. I thought it was just funny, you know, I wasn't serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's staying. Don't worry about it. It's staying. I said, oh, okay. And he wasn't even getting the joke right. It was sarcasm. So my sarcasm. My sarcasm turned into the thing apparently is still there now. I don't know if it's still there. Good friend of our Steve. You know what I'm talking about. You know who Steve is? Chris and Steve. Steve's going to a hockey game there and he's going to go and do some recon, see if that thing's still on the wall.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

All right.

[Pete Corielli]

Well, it's funny you bring that up.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Go ahead.

[Pete Corielli]

I don't want to interrupt you. Keep going, oh, funny.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Bring that up.

[Pete Corielli]

Well, two things. One is the question hasn't been answered because, I mean, 10 sold out shows of the Garden. It should be up permanently. And let's be clear to this wall that you're talking about for the listeners to know. This is like, oh, who's who of legendariness. I mean, Eric Clapton's up there, like you said, Lady Gaga, Billy Joel, Elton John, Bruce Springsteen. This thing is loaded. And here's a big one. And this slides right back into what you're saying. By the way, publicly, I want to say, too, thank you for letting me fulfill a dream that was unbelievable to be a part of that show. And you did phenomenal. And it was unbelievable. So after the first night, I went on my Instagram and said, oh, my God, something like, had a great time opening for Sebastian on his Garden shows. Great people. Just a little cold back there. I wish I had a. Brought a sweater. It was like a meat locker. Now, next day, guy comes up to me in the back at the Garden, right? Dressed nice in a suit. How you doing, man? My name is Bobby. Listen, what are you, Knicks or Rangers? I'm like, Nick's. And he goes, I'll be right back. I'll Meet you in the green room. And then the other guy who's the usher there goes. You know what it is, is GM in a Garden. You know, they had different. Different areas. You know, I have his card right here. Can't read it my thing, but his section is MSG Arena. So he's the. He's the general manager of the MSG arena, right? Senior vice. What does this thing say? I want to get it right. We can edit this right here. Senior vice president and general manager of the Garden Arena. He go. And the guy goes, that's Bobby. He's a big dog, man. He meets me back, gives me a sweatshirt. Love the cast. I got three kids. I can relate to everything you guys talk about. I've been listening for years. I don't want you to be cold out here, Petey. I saw your Instagram. So the guy who's the GM of the Garden has been listening to the cast for years. He listens on his commute. So anytime you want, we'll just hit Bobby up live right on here with a phone call and be like, where we at with Sebastian's poster? Is it hanging in there or what.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

If we got a plan of this guy? Bobby, how about a. How about a banner?

[Pete Corielli]

You're right. How many. If you get up to maybe 25 shows, then do you get a banner of this Maniscalco? 2, 5. I don't know. You know, I'm kidding, Bobby.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm kidding. It's that sarcasm, Bobby. He knows I don't need a banner. Thank you for the.

[Pete Corielli]

But I do appreciate that. I want to say he's a. I just want to say, Bobby, if you're listening, thank you for the sweatshirt. He was a super, super guy. Nice guy. Everyone who worked there was fantastic. And I look forward to finding out from Steve where we stand with that, because, yeah, when I first saw that photo up there, I just assumed it was up there for good now. I was like, God damn, this is like rarefied air.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, thank you for being part of that. That was great. That was a great week. There was a lot going on that week. Got the chance to go up to the Empire State Building, and we went all the way up on the top floor, the 103rd floor. Man, it was a beautiful view up there. So I got to thank the Empire State Building for taking care of us. We came back the next day with our kids. They took us on a private tour throughout the. I gotta tell you, one of the perks of getting to do these things is sometimes, like, the accessibility that you get to go through the whole Empire State Building with nobody in it. Like, we got there before it opened. We got there at 9 o'clock. The guy took us on a private tour. My whole family, we got to see the whole thing without anybody in the place. So, wow, man. It's not lost on me that I get to do these things. But we got to do two private tours. Not two private tours, but we got the Empire straight building. And then we did this other thing where we went to this slime thing, but we had kind of like a guy escorting us through the whole thing.

[Pete Corielli]

Slime museum. Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. I tip the guy.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's given me the tour. Right. Do you expect, or do you think that a lot of people that get a private tour tip the person giving the tour? Is that expected, I guess, from the person given the tour?

[Pete Corielli]

Right, right. I don't, I don't. I don't know. I put it at 50. 50, I bet. I bet it's not really. I don't know that you have. You. You being. Having a bit of weight. You ever have, like when you don't expect a big tip but you're wondering, like, I might get one, right? Like that I might or might not? I don't know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. For me, being on the hospitality end of things, I've always thought, oh, maybe, oh, I'm waiting on so and so I might get a big tip, right. Or I might get a tip for doing this, but generally not expecting it. I don't know. I had two instances where I gave the guy the tip on the private tour and he's like, guy, absolutely not. Like, he, he looked like he never seen this before, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, really?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, he's. No, are you kidding me? Please stop. And then I insist, I never take back a tip until that person takes it. So if I give you a tip and you go, no and absolutely not, I go take it. And then I can't take it. Right? You get this back and forth of, I can't, I can't take it. What Generally I feel what stops all that is you're gonna make me feel bad if you don't. And generally speaking, that's the line where they go, thank you so much. Right. So I had that back and forth with one guy. The other guy gave the tip. He's like, thank you. Like, I was like, ooh, guy.

[Pete Corielli]

Took it, took it too fast, too fast, too fast.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Right.

[Pete Corielli]

Now, when you gave it for the slime museum, do you give it before the tour or at the end of the tour after that stuff totally defeats the purpose. But I guess, I guess it doesn't, right? Because if you give it before, it makes it uncomfortable for everyone. Because now that guy's like, oh, God, what does he expect More? I can only do so much.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. For those, for those things. I generally do it after. Here's the thing, though. When you fly in these private plane jets, right, from my research, it's customary to tip the pilots. Okay. All right. It's not required, but it's a nice gesture. I've often thought, do I tip the pilot? Do I tip the pilot before the flight or after the flight? Right. And I thought, oh, if I tip them before the flight and we go down. Yeah, right. They got my tip.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, it's very true. Whereas the other way they'll find that your pockets, Valana.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But I didn't, in my thinking, I didn't equate that if we go down, no one's going to be alive. Like I felt like the way I was thinking, oh, if we go down, everybody's going to come out of the rubble going, oh, fuck, that was, that was a rough one though. And I'm sitting there going, I gave you a hundred dollars. If we're fucked, we're in the ocean.

[Pete Corielli]

God damn. That's a big. That's a funny start to a comedy like you tipping the guy in a private plane. Then you crash credits are rolling. You go, what now? Well, for starters, give my fucking tip back. And then we got to make a smoke sign or something. Yeah. Oh, that would be funny. But I did, see, when we got out, I saw you go over and boom. And hit him. And I was like, damn, I wonder what a private plane pilot tip is.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's 100 bucks a pilot.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, it's nice. That's a nice gesture, man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's the kind of, that's standard. Through people that I've known that fly private, it's a hundred bucks a pilot. If you got a flight attendant, you know, give her $100 or him a hundred dollars, whatever. So on shorter flights, I tip a little less. I mean, if it's only like a 50 minute flight, maybe I get 50 apiece. But 100 bucks is standard.

[Pete Corielli]

Got you the Pete and Sebastian Show.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is what you do when you've just found that statement handbag on ebay and you want to build an entire wardrobe around it, you start selling to keep buying. Yep. On ebay, over that all black everything phase, list it and buy all the color, feeling more vintage than ever. It's out with the new and in with the pre loved. Next thing you know, you've refreshed your wardrobe basically without spending a dime. Yeah, ebay. The place to buy and sell new pre loved vintage and rare fashion. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. There's nothing sweeter than baking cookies during the holidays. With Prime, I get all my ingredients delivered right to my door, fast and free. No last minute store trips needed. And of course, I blast my favorite holiday playlist on Amazon Music. It's the ultimate soundtrack for creating unforgettable memories. From streaming to shopping. It's on Prime. Visit Amazon.comprime to get more out of whatever you're into. We were talking about on the flight, and this is along the lines of hair on the ass, third nipple, the whole thing. We were talking about eating people, remember?

[Pete Corielli]

Yes, I do.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I forget how that came up. Is it. If we crashed and you had to eat somebody, who would you eat? A family member or a stranger?

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, I was telling you about the book where they were dying and they were starving. The Donna party out west. So they would name the family the meat. So you wouldn't like, if my family. Your family were dying, it would be labeled. So you would only eat maniscalco meat. I'd only eat Coryelli meat. And then we were saying, I think someone said, I'd rather not eat my family. And then we started saying, what part of the body would you eat first?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Ah, shit. This is the shit that comes up on the road. Now.

[Pete Corielli]

I don't.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't know if anybody else talks about like these type of hypotheticals. Like, Patrick, have you ever talked to your buddies about, like, if you. You know, there was a movie, I think, called Alive or something where they. Oh, yeah, they. They crashed and they had soccer.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah. They remade that movie recently. True story. Yeah. And they had to eat each other little nipple.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So, Patrick, do you find that this conversation that we're having right now is something that common that most people talk about, or do you think this is out of bounds? I think in private, people have this conversation a lot. Yeah. But not necessarily on an award winning podcast. So now, did we come up with what body part you would start with?

[Pete Corielli]

Well, I think here's a bigger question to that. What? Like how would you want to prepare? Like if some, like, if someone said, like, let's say they were cutting a big chunk off the leg, they're gonna turn to you go, bobby, you want it in a stew? Or maybe a nice filet? I mean, in the movie Alive they were trying to just stay alive so they would just. You know when you try to eat something as a kid and you breathe out of your mouth so you can't taste it, I think I just go, but do you think if you had to, that you could gnaw on human flesh if you had to, to stay alive?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I mean, listen, when you're faced with death, I think you do anything you possibly can to stay alive. But, you know, you bring up a great point. Are they cooking it or are you eating it like sashimi?

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'd rather do it like sashimi, man. I don't want to. Sick and then sick, bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

We're losing people.

[Pete Corielli]

I don't even know how to cast anymore. I don't remember what we used to do. We used to be.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't even. I don't know. Oh, listen, I'm gonna. I'm gonna give you a video. Want to get your take on this? This. This goes along with the theme of the show so far. This is a little aggressive, but I just wanted to kind of put it in front of you to see.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, my God. Holy. Oh, my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, watch. This one's going to take it and break its arm. Watch. Break the arm.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, that's a chimpanzee and a monkey. So if you guys are listening and weren't able to see that visually, it's a chimpanzee just slamming a monkey. Wow, bro. Do you ever watch any things like. Do you ever watch like this? You look like you've seen a ghost.

[Pete Corielli]

That was disturbing, man. That was like too human esque. I mean, he just. Oh, did he rip off the leg as like, that's for you?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, he just broke the arm. Like it was nothing. Just broke the arm. I don't know why he did it, but the chimpanzee, he ripped it away.

[Pete Corielli]

From the rest of the body.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, it didn't come off. It just. He just snapped it.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, I saw come off.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

My question to you is the strength of these animals are like, do you think if confronted by a chimpanzee that you could do anything to get away from that thing?

[Pete Corielli]

I don't think so, man. So the chimpanzee was the killer and that was a little monkey. But, like, then a gorilla could do to the chimp what the chimp did to the monkey, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't know. There's a. What's the difference number between a gorilla and a chimpanzee? That's What I want to know and are they the same strength? And is there one more dominating than the other?

[Pete Corielli]

I'm pretty sure gorilla has a strength of like six men, if I remember correctly, when I went to the zoo.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And what about a bear? Do you think a bear could beat the shit out of everybody?

[Pete Corielli]

See, you know what, though? I've always thought about this, right? How come there's no like dark web where you catch a grizzly and you starve the grizzly? I mean, starve it. And you catch a gorilla, starve that, throw them in, hit the cameras, start placing your bets. I mean, are you kidding me? This is.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is a whole.

[Pete Corielli]

How about. How about shark in a little pond of saltwater? Shark. A crocodile. I mean, a crocodile. And then you drop a shark in there again, you make sure they're both hungry. Oh, I mean, how much would you pay? How much would you pay? You can't say that. You can't say that. It's not nice to see that. But I'd love to see that, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, okay. Gorillas are generally stronger than chimpanzees. We're getting word here. A mature gorilla can lift how much do you think in pounds a mature gorilla could lift?

[Pete Corielli]

700.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

4,000.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

£4,000. A silver bat gorilla is estimated to be as strong as eight healthy men.

[Pete Corielli]

Holy shit.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You know what they're giving me in kilograms? This is another thing that bothers me. Do you know conversions? Like if I say a gorilla weighs 227 kilo, what do you think that is pound wise? 227 kilo.

[Pete Corielli]

I'd be guessing maybe 300 pounds. If it's anything like the kilometers, miles thing.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

How many? Just throw that in there to that. Put 227 into that kilogram. I want to see what pounds, how many pounds it is.

[Pete Corielli]

I'm going 300.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

500 pounds. 500 pounds. And it has the strength of eight. Did I ever tell you, and I want you to look up the story, Patrick, please. There's a story about a chimpanzee and I don't know if we ever discussed this, a couple had this chimpanzee and they had it since it was a baby. And they basically raised it as if it was their own child. So they fed it with a bottle. They dressed it up for birthdays. I don't know, this might be the story. Although I thought it was a man. But it happened in California.

[Pete Corielli]

Ripped off. The lady who got a face ripped off.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

They basically raised it as a child. They dressed it up in a dress. They gave it a bottle. They had it in a crib. They pushed it around in a stroller, right? So this thing started to mature, and it started to rip up the whole fucking neighborhood. Like, you know, they brought it out in the yard and. And started. You know, they'd take it for a walk, and it would take. Take a neighbor's tree out of the ground, you know, and they're like, what the fuck? The homeowners association said, get rid of the chimpanzee. It's not. It shouldn't be walking around. It's destroying our neighborhood. So they took it away. So. On its birthday. Yeah, because they had it in, like, some annual animal sanctuary on its birthday. They went to go visit it, and they brought it a birthday cake, right? And it was hanging around with other chimpanzees at this facility. So as they're singing Happy Birthday, this chimpanzee took the dad's face apart, took his nose off his ears, took his arms off, the whole thing.

[Pete Corielli]

And I'm thinking, the one that. The one they raised.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The one they raised, okay. And I was jokingly saying, I think he got to the sanctuary, started talking to the chimpanzees. They're like, what the are you doing here? And they're like, you know, I was, you know, I'm going to a zoo. And then they start talking to this guy and like, what are you doing here? Like, hey, for six years, I had this family raising me, and they put me in dresses and humiliated me. And now they're coming today to sing me Happy birthday and I'm going to rip my father's face off. Now I. Now, do you think. Do you think. Hold on, hold on. Is this it? Hold on. St. James Davis's wife Lana had a pitch pit pet chimpanzee named Mo, whom they treated like a child. Right. They placed it in animal sanctuary near Bakersfield. St. James and Ladonna waged a long, unsuccessful legal battle to get them back. On March 3, while at the sanctuary, on one of their frequent visit with Mo, St. James and Ladonna were attacked by two young male chimpanzees named Buddy and Eiley. They had escaped her enclosures. Ah. Ensuing the attack, Ladonna lost her thumb and St. James was mauled. Horn. Good. Go back. Resulting in permanent disfigurement and missing extremity. This is what happened. So what I think happened again, I'm making humor out of this. They're at the. This was a hit. They went to go visit the Chimpanzee. The chimpanzee was there with other chimpanzees. So I think this chimpanzee told Buddy and Ali, listen, I'm going to leave the cage open for you guys. When these motherfuckers come in, you attack them, right? Now, do you think any of this communication goes on between chimpanzees, or do you just think this was something that was just happened?

[Pete Corielli]

No, I think it's absolutely. Absolutely. It's communication. It's absolutely happening. And I know what's happening, because this is the time of year where the goddamn squirrels come for the nuts where I live, and my dog tries to chase them all. So when I take my dog to a big field, I did it this morning, early in the morning, behind the furniture store, there's a big field, and there's all these squirrels. And I make sure there's no cars around where because my dog gets obsessed, he'll chase a squirrel right into the road. If it wasn't around. And he knows what I'm doing, I let him go. I'm like, go get him. And he chases these squirrels until they go up in a tree, and he tries to go jump up the tree for like, 20 minutes till I call him back. When I call him back, all you hear throughout the woods is these squirrels telling each other it's a fucking dog down there. Now, if these little squirrels are communicating, the chimps, Jesus Christ, they're playing mahjong on Sundays. They're like. You know what I'm saying? I mean, don't kid yourself. They had a long conversation. When the gate opens, he's gonna expect me. You two charge that motherfucker. And if you can, tell him as you ripping his face off, no more dresses, bitch. No more dresses, bitch. Dude, those are nasty fucking things, those chimps, okay? They're nasty. I'm serious, man. Animals communicate more than you know, bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, I just want to go back up. I want to give you a little bit more history here. The chimpanzee lived in the home, right? They adopted it. I mean, it's the background I'm reading. They adopted the damn thing from Tanzania. All right? The chimpanzee comes over from Tanzania, lived in the house. The wore clothes. It was toilet trained. It took showers. Fucking chimpanzee was in the shower, bro. Participated in their wedding. Ladonna said he acted as a combination of a flower thrower and a best man. I mean, could you imagine? This fucking thing gets taken out of Tanzania. Now he's. Now he's A flower girl at the wedding, wearing it. Wearing a wedding dress, right? This. You don't think this shit was communicated in the sanctuary going, they had me walking down the fucking aisle.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, yeah, Dead. Now face. Face off. Rip it right off. Dude, these people are crazy anyway. They fucking crazy. And who would you got, your kid. If I go to a wedding and there's a chimp coming down the aisle, I'm taking my daughter out of there, right, Mike? May as well have a pit bull gnawing on a fucking bone at the altar.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, I. Hold on, hold on. I want to look, they'll go up on the attack. Okay, okay. They're celebrating the chimpanzees 39th birthday, right? 39. This fucking thing is. They brought him a birthday. They brought him a birthday cake. And they were seated at a picnic table next to the enclosure. All right? They brought toys, candy hearts, chocolate milk, raspberry filled sheet cake for the party. You believe this shit? Ladonna and Mo clapped his hands with joy when he saw them. Yeah, my ass. This guy was just. He's clapping because they were going to get what was coming to him.

[Pete Corielli]

That's it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

She cut a piece of cake for him, and then when she went to get a second piece, she noticed another chimpanzee had gotten out of the cage. It rushed up to her, bit her thumb off. St. James, pushed her under the table to protect her. Second chip was also loose. The two young chimps involved in the attack were named Buddy and Holly. Two female ones named Susie and Bones also escaped. This is a hit, bro. This is a hit man. From their cages during it. They were not involved in the assault. They were probably the lookouts. St. James and Ladonna were recaptured five hours later. Mode did not participate in the attack. I'm telling you, the 100%. Mo's clean, bro. He's 39. He's like, I'm done.

[Pete Corielli]

Right, right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, now hold on.

[Pete Corielli]

And they think the clap that Mo gave when they first got there was like, happy to see that was a. That was telling the other two to, let's go. Make your move.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, listen, listen. Buddy and Holly destroyed a majority of the guy's fingers, his left foot, and took off half of his ass. They removed a ass cheek out of this guy, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, both testicles gone. Oh, man. Part of his torso and parts of his face, including his nose and his lips, bro. A paramedic who arrived said it looked like a grizzly bear attack. Oh, man. Is this guy still alive? Check to see if this couple's still alive before we get sued.

[Pete Corielli]

Six months in the hospital, sued this guy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Listen, just look them up on a separate. On a separate search to see if they had passed away. I mean, it's a shame, but again, it's like, bro, if anybody in your family had a chimpanzee and was raising it as a child.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Isn't there a phone call that goes out going, you guys shouldn't be doing this and 100%, or do you think that would even. Do you think that would even happen in your family?

[Pete Corielli]

Well, first of all, I would write that if I had an ant who had a chimp.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, wait a minute, bro. Sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, bro.

[Pete Corielli]

Is it still alive?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I just got a picture of the guy. It's not good.

[Pete Corielli]

Can I. Before you get soft on me. If there was a guy that was into fish and he somehow made a saddle that he put on the back of a great white shark, and he would ride the shark.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corielli]

And everyone would come to see, and it was amazing. When the day comes that the shark eats him, would you care? So same thing with this nut bag. You got a chimp coming down the aisle like a flower girl.

[Patrick]

You know, it's not going to have.

[Pete Corielli]

A happy ending you're calling a shame. And this. Dad. What are we looking at, guys? Nuts. Absolutely nuts.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, that's their wedding. That's just.

[Pete Corielli]

That's just weird, man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Just click on one of these photos so we could see. Yeah. So we could see the damage. All right.

[Pete Corielli]

We're going to look at the damage. All right, Here we go.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Just. I'm just saying.

[Pete Corielli]

Let's see, let's see, let's see.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is what happens. This is what happens when you have a chimpanzee. He's got no fucking nose, bro. And what you're not seeing, he's got. He's got looks like he's got no eyebrows. One of the eyebrows stopped growing. And he's got no balls and half an ass. This is what happens when you have a chimpanzee for a pet.

[Pete Corielli]

You know, this is funny because if you take back to the beginning of our cast where we want you to tell us everything wrong with you before we make love, this guy would be like, all right, we're gonna need a half hour before I take off my clothes. You should know I have no balls. I have no ass. I feel like I remember having this conversation about the one in Connecticut, the lady in Connecticut who had the face transplant.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. But I think she. I don't think she was the owner. I think she was.

[Pete Corielli]

No, she was a neighbor that was saying, yeah, that was very tragic.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Following the attack, St. James, who's the husband, and Ladonna, who's the wife, placed a sign in their front yard that read, free Mo. They also went to superior court in Pomona to get the city of West Covina to honor their 2, 2002 settlement, which required it to purchase a home.

[Pete Corielli]

For them in Baldwin park so they.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Could reunite with Mo.

[Pete Corielli]

So they're still trying to meet up.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

With Mo even after the hit.

[Pete Corielli]

MO is like, what don't you people understand? Same happen. I don't want to be part of this family anymore. What happened? What does anyone know what happened to Buddy and Holly?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Were they put down? What's the aftermath here? Let's see. After my six month, the attack, he was in a coma between 2005, St. James. I don't want 60 surgeries. Prosthetic guy. He and Ladonna were uninsured, but initially decided to sue the Animal Haven before reversing course and filing lawsuit by 2009, 2006, a year following.

[Pete Corielli]

Well, why else would you, you know, like, why else would it. I wonder what goes through an animal's head when it, like, does that? You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't even trying to eat them. Wasn't hungry, right? It was just attack.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So the chimps were killed.

[Pete Corielli]

Ah, that's.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

During the attack. They were killed.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh. Oh. They probably had to be killed to get him off.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Wow.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, God, what a scene. Jesus starts out with some Light the candles, go to see happy. What the.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Happy birth.

[Pete Corielli]

Dead chips, arms laying around. Holy. Forget the cake. What a mess. Yes. Imagine working there that day.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

How does it start with Happy birthday. Then a Chip Benz. He's walking around, testicles in his hand. Holy Christ, bro.

[Pete Corielli]

How do you think. Did you ever see that video? It literally make you cry about the family that raised the lion. Everyone saw this. It got a zillion hits, right? And then they had to put it in a sanctuary because they raised it. I think it was abandoned or something. They raised it in Australia, and then they went to see it years later or three months later at the sanctuary. And now it's the leader of a pride. Did you ever see that? And it comes running towards them. He can find it in two seconds. Patrick can find it. It's so touching because it hugs them and it's like, oh, my God. Almost brings tears to your eyes. But I'd love to Talk to that guy and be like, Guy, 30 yards out, or you. Like, I'm either dead or I'm going. Or I'm going viral. Yeah. Like.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corielli]

I mean, how.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

How could. How could you stand there? Here, he's got it up here.

[Pete Corielli]

You've seen it, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't think so. This looks like it's old.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Corielli]

Look at that. Look at that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Now here, like, this is my question. Does he know, like, he's got claws. Those paws are huge. Right? Now when he goes up there like that, right? Yes. He's hugging him. But does he go, oh, I can't, like, I can't put my nails into his back because I really, like. Does he know? Look at like, like. Like that. Does he know? Does he know? Like, I gotta. I can't go full bore here, right?

[Pete Corielli]

I don't know. It's same thing with a grizzly. Have you ever seen. It was a stuffed grizzly on at the resort where we went. The ranch.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corielli]

Stuffed grizzly razor blades. Literally Freddy Krueger.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corielli]

So when they hug in the grizz, is it got to be like, I'm sorry, I don't want to put a fingernail through the fucking back of your spine. Jesus.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, wow. So that's our show for today, guys. Really appreciate you guys tuning in. This was. This was a. We went in areas that we generally don't. Don't dance in. But hey, you know what? Cast is growing.

[Pete Corielli]

It's a good driving show. Good driving.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Good driving show. Good driving show.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, absolutely. No, it was fun. I always have fun doing it with you. Until next week, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

MAN OVER now, next week, Sebastian live.com for tickets to the It Ain't Right tour. If you want to see us on the road, please check us out. If not, we will be here every week. And every week over on Patreon, something always new happening there. Please check us out for five bucks a month price of a cup of coffee. By the way, a Venti coffee at Starbucks, $4.55. And they're still asking for a tip. Come on, for an extra 45 cents, you get to talk to Pete and Sebastian on a Tuesday night. What a value.

[Pete Corielli]

Four times in a month. Four times. So that's four Vente coffees.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Four Vente coffees right there. Pete and Sebastian Patreon. We'll see you next week.

[Pete Corielli]

Can learn to be like someone like me the show has ended.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Don't you need to know that going in? My nipples are huge.

[Pete Corielli]

I think that's I think that's like a nice surprise. You know, like a little more whipped cream on your pie than you expected.

[Patrick]

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