630: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 630 - "I Know The Face : Cameo Pt. 2"

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 630: "I Know The Face: Cameo Pt. 2"

Introduction

In Episode 630 of The Pete and Sebastian Show, hosts Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco delve into the intriguing world of personalized celebrity messages on platforms like Cameo. The episode intertwines comedic banter with insightful discussions about the commercialization of fame, the value of personal touches from celebrities, and the potential avenues for their own comedy show to engage with fans. Additionally, the hosts share humorous personal anecdotes about health check-ups, adding layers of relatability and humor to the conversation.

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1. The Cameo Price Debate

The episode kicks off with a lively conversation about the pricing of celebrity Cameo videos. Pete and Sebastian, along with a guest, explore how much various celebrities charge for personalized messages, highlighting the disparity between different figures.

• Kenny G's Fee: The discussion begins with Kenny G's pricing, where Pete quips, “$300 for a happy birthday from Kenny G. $700 if you want me to do a little happy birthday with the clarinet” (02:35). The guest raises alarm over these rates, estimating that with 777 reviews at $400 each, Kenny G might be making around $400,000 annually on Cameo (04:07).

• Comparisons with Other Celebrities: The conversation expands to include other celebrities like Bo Jackson and Caitlyn Jenner. Pete humorously speculates, “I thought it would cost, like, $500 grand to have him come play the clarinet at your house” (04:30), while the guest mentions Caitlyn Jenner charges $2,500 per message (09:29).

• Floyd Mayweather's Offer: The most expensive Cameo message discussed is Floyd Mayweather's, with the guest estimating his rate around $15,000 (12:01). Mayweather's personalized pep talk is critiqued humorously, questioning its authenticity given the high fee: “If somebody's going to pay this amount of money then. Then I'll do it” (12:21).

• Potential for Their Own Show: Inspired by these discussions, Pete and Sebastian brainstorm the possibility of launching their own Cameo-like service. Pete suggests, “An account of three, Give me your price, and we'll say at the same time” (18:06), contemplating bartering services instead of traditional payments.

• Charitable Angle: The idea of integrating charity donations into their celebrity messages is floated, with the guest proposing, “For one month in December, Pete and Sebastian are going on Cameo. Every dollar made, we donate it to charity” (19:09). Pete agrees enthusiastically, mentioning their existing contributions to causes like St. Jude (19:24).

Notable Quotes:

• Pete Correale: “Kenny G on Cameo should be the start of every show” (02:35).
• Guest: “This guy made 400 grand on cameo” (04:23).
• Pete Correale: “Do you think you'd have to pay Tom Cruise to jump out of a plane and wish someone happy birthday?” (09:21).
• Guest: “Floyd Mayweather's pep talk is getting $50 taxed” (12:21).

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2. Personal Anecdotes: The Dermatology Visit

Shifting gears, Pete and Sebastian engage in a humorous recounting of a recent dermatologist visit, blending personal stories with observational comedy.

• Initial Concerns: The guest shares his unease during a dermatologist appointment, describing how unsolicited empathy—“When do I start chemo?”—adds to his anxiety during the examination (28:23). Pete ponders the doctor's unorthodox communication style: “He does not say 'how you been' until the end” (29:02).

• Skincare Routines: The conversation delves into recommended skincare routines, with the guest detailing a meticulous five-step process involving exfoliation, cleansing, moisturizing, and more (35:42). Pete humorously contrasts his own rapid shower routine: “I’m like, daytona pit stop” (50:28).

• Family Shower Dynamics: The hosts discuss the dynamics of sharing showers with family members, highlighting the awkwardness and humorous scenarios that arise from communal bathroom spaces.

• Health Awareness: Emphasizing the importance of regular health check-ups, Pete shares his intent to undergo comprehensive medical scans, humorously labeling himself “a man barely alive” in need of rebuilding (37:37).

Notable Quotes:

• Guest: “I feel like completely just as soon as your pants come off in the doctor's office, there's no coming back from that” (30:18).
• Pete Correale: “You need to be in a relationship just so someone could look at your body in the back and say, you know, listen, you got a problem back here” (23:12).
• Guest: “I'm doing this for stage. I got Botox in my armpits” (22:45).
• Pete Correale: “If your doctor was like all social, he ain't thorough” (26:13).

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3. Engaging with Listeners and Future Plans

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts entertain ideas for engaging their audience further and monetizing their content creatively.

• Cameo for Charity: Building on earlier discussions, there's a suggestion to donate proceeds from their own Cameo-like service to charitable causes, enhancing their community impact (19:24).

• Contests and Giveaways: Pete proposes hosting a contest where winners get to hang out with the cast, adding a personal touch to their fan interactions (20:34).

• Improving Show Engagement: Ideas about leveraging Patreon for exclusive content are floated, with the guest mentioning, “$5 on the Patreon page. You can come on and ask us to sing Happy Birthday” (57:14).

Notable Quotes:

• Guest: “For one month in December, Pete and Sebastian are going on Cameo… donate it to charity” (19:09).
• Pete Correale: “This is like the Allstate guy. You don't give that away” (14:10).
• Guest: “I might want to experiment with this just for a goof, the Pete and Sebastian cameo” (18:39).
• Pete Correale: “I love the move. I love the move” (33:34).

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Conclusion

Episode 630 of The Pete and Sebastian Show offers a blend of sharp comedic insights and relatable personal stories. From dissecting the economics of personalized celebrity messages to navigating the humorous pitfalls of medical appointments, Pete and Sebastian provide listeners with both laughter and thoughtful reflections. Their exploration of potential monetization strategies through fan engagement platforms like Cameo underscores their entrepreneurial spirit, while their candid conversations about health add depth to the episode. Overall, this episode exemplifies the duo's ability to intertwine humor with meaningful dialogue, making it a must-listen for fans seeking both entertainment and genuine connection.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Pete Correale: “300 for a happy birthday from Kenny G. $700 if you want me to do a little happy birthday with the clarinet” (02:35)
• Guest: “This guy made 400 grand on cameo” (04:23)
• Pete Correale: “Do you think you'd have to pay Tom Cruise to jump out of a plane and wish someone happy birthday?” (09:21)
• Guest: “Floyd Mayweather's pep talk is getting $50 taxed” (12:21)
• Guest: “I feel like completely just as soon as your pants come off in the doctor's office, there's no coming back from that” (30:18)
• Pete Correale: “You need to be in a relationship just so someone could look at your body in the back and say, you know, listen, you got a problem back here” (23:12)
• Guest: “I'm doing this for stage. I got Botox in my armpits” (22:45)
• Pete Correale: “If your doctor was like all social, he ain't thorough” (26:13)
• Guest: “For one month in December, Pete and Sebastian are going on Cameo… donate it to charity” (19:09)
• Pete Correale: “This is like the Allstate guy. You don't give that away” (14:10)
• Guest: “I might want to experiment with this just for a goof, the Pete and Sebastian cameo” (18:39)
• Pete Correale: “I love the move. I love the move” (33:34)

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Note: Timestamps correspond to the times indicated in the transcript.

Transcript

[Unknown Host]

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[Pete Corielli]

This is the Pete and Sebastian show with Pete Corielli and Sebastian Maniscalco.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Previously on the Pete and Sebastian Show.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm gonna do a game, bro. I'm gonna give you the person and you tell me how much they're charging for a cameo. Kenny G. What's he charging?

[Pete Corielli]

300 for a happy birthday from Kenny G. 700 if you want me to do a little happy birthday with the clarity. That should be the start of every show. You're listening to the Pete Sebastian Show. We're happy to have you. Let's get started. Let's do it.

[Unknown Guest]

This could be a new segment on the Pete Sebastian Show.

[Pete Corielli]

Well, first of all, we should just for ceremonial sake, start our promo Blitz for the cast with Kenny G with the clarinet.

[Unknown Guest]

I. I might even want to send this guy a message and go, how much does it cost for a customized jingle for the pizza?

[Pete Corielli]

I mean, we write it, he'll sing it. It sounds like, man.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay, go back to. And let's go into something else and.

[Pete Corielli]

See, we need to have Kenny G on. We need to know his network. Because if it's high, then we should have him on the cast and just be like, what's going on?

[Unknown Guest]

Well, does it. Does it tell you how much? How many? So he's got 777 reviews. All fantastic, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, but I just saw your thing there. Said 375 or more for video. I think. I think that's just a starting point. I think what we just saw has to be $5,000 video.

[Unknown Guest]

No way, bro. No way.

[Pete Corielli]

How much are you saying that for?

[Unknown Guest]

So, okay, 777 times 400. So let's say. Let's say a thousand times 400 is what, 40 grand?

[Pete Corielli]

400,000.

[Unknown Guest]

400. 400.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What?

[Unknown Guest]

I say a thousand times 400. 400 grand. This guy made 400 grand on cameo.

[Pete Corielli]

Again. I thought it would cost, like, 500 grand to have him come play the clarinet at your house. You know, I heard Gilbert Godfrey before he passed away. You know, they said he was making killing on Cameo. I think he was up to like2.2 million a year, and that he would just wake up on certain days, and that was his job. And he just belt him out because he got that unique voice. So that makes sense, you know, like a guy like him not wanting to travel, do stand up, just doing that. But, like, I just don't get that. I. I'm still wanting to know Kenny G's net worth. I'm going to look it up myself.

[Unknown Guest]

Hold on.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, see? Okay. I just saw it, too. So he was worth 100 million. And Patrick said he got divorced. So even if his wife took 60 million, he's got $40 million. Maybe he just likes doing it. I don't know. That's crazy.

[Unknown Guest]

All right, Go to a sports guy. Don't look at this, Pete.

[Pete Corielli]

I'm not looking.

[Unknown Guest]

All right, bro, here we go.

[Pete Corielli]

All right. What do we got?

[Unknown Guest]

Bo Jackson.

[Pete Corielli]

How much Bo Jackson? I bet you, considering Kenny G, I guess you should get Bo for 250.

[Unknown Guest]

450.

[Pete Corielli]

450.

[Unknown Guest]

Wow. Now go back to Bo's. He does something there called pep talk. Go to pep. What's a pep talk? Look from Bo Jackson. Bo Jackson. Hey, brother, I Just want to reach out to you and say, hey, keep your head up. I know you're going through a rough.

[Floyd Mayweather]

Road right now, but trust me when I say this.

[Unknown Guest]

The farther you move down the road, the smoother that pavement is going to get you. Just keep your head up. Keep fighting like hell. Continue to be you.

[Pete Corielli]

How much do you have to pay to get him to open his eyes when he does this? Holy shit, Bo.

[Unknown Guest]

So close this out. Listen, bro, if you sent me. I said I was going through a tough time, and you sent me a pep talk from any one of these people, I could not sever the fact that Pete paid Bo Jackson 400 and Bo Jackson give another shit about me, right? He's just doing this as a job, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Like, I think he's watching tv and during the commercials, he's lowering the volume on the TV and making 450. Hey, Billy, I know you're going through a tough time. That shows back. You know, that's what he does. But watches TV and makes 450 during commercials. But. But maybe you'd appreciate. It's almost like if someone sent you a guy dressed as a. As a chicken to your front door to sing Happy Birthday, all right? You don't give a. About the chicken, and you're laughing at your friend for bringing this thing to you.

[Unknown Guest]

You know, it's that. That. That. That used to be like a singing telegram. And then everybody got a kick out of it in a room, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, but this is.

[Unknown Guest]

This is a guy on his. You know, nobody. Nobody's, like, going, oh, my God, it's Bo Jackson.

[Pete Corielli]

You work at a cubicle and you get this from your friend. You don't go, guys, come over. You want to see Bo Jackson wishing me a happy birthday? Oh, it's a singing telegram. All right. You just gotta call everybody over to the cubicle. I mean, I just don't know what's. Again, Bo Jackson. If we googled them, the guy's probably worth $30 million. I don't know. Is there might be an enjoyment in this? Maybe Bo really feels he is reaching that kid, and he is making a difference. I. I'm serious, bro. People out there have bigger hearts than me and you. So, you know.

[Unknown Guest]

All right, close this out. Is there a way to do. What is the most expensive, like, by price? I want to see if there's somebody on here that's like, a huge name, right? That. Okay, let's go.

[Pete Corielli]

Like, DiCaprio, $250,000. He'll say, Happy Birthday, Cindy. Like, how much? How Much. You think you'd have to pay Tom Cruise to, like, jump out of a plane and while he skydive and go, happy birthday, Tim, your family loves you. Go get him. And then he pulls the rip cord and that's it. You don't see him. $10 million. Like some Dubai prince. Like, you think he would do it. Is there a price? Like, how much for Seinfeld to get Seinfeld to do one birthday joke. You ever notice with the candles?

[Unknown Guest]

So the top person on cameo, the most expensive is Caitlin Jenner.

[Pete Corielli]

Really?

[Unknown Guest]

She's charging 2500amessage.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, man. Even that's like, doable.

[Unknown Guest]

Who's the highest paid ten most expensive can Bethany Franco. She's doing $349. Jojo Siwa. 600 bucks. What's this Chaka Khan coming in at 650.

[Pete Corielli]

All right, see, but you can't. You coming at 650. But you. She's at the level where you'd have to say, hi, I'm Chaka Khan, and I'm here to wish you a happy. Right. Even Bo, if you didn't know Bowen and he was doing that, wouldn't you go, the fuck is this?

[Unknown Guest]

Richard Dreyfus.

[Pete Corielli]

Wow. 1500.

[Unknown Guest]

700.

[Pete Corielli]

700, man.

[Unknown Guest]

Gabby Douglas. She's an Olympic gymnast. 975.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, all right, all right.

[Unknown Guest]

Kevin O'Leary. He's on TV personality on. What's that show called? Shark Tank. Oh, 1500.

[Pete Corielli]

Okay. Now he's a. See, so something's going on because that guy's a billionaire, I believe, if not at least a 600 millionaire. So there's got to be. They must, like, feel like it's just a kind give back.

[Unknown Guest]

Boozy badass. I don't know who this is. 1500. Gurdeep Pandar. Some dancer out of India making two grand a message.

[Pete Corielli]

So feasibly, if you drop like three grand and get a bunch of names and just have them all saying, like, God, I love the Pete and Sebastian show. All I listen to is the Pete and Sebastian chair. You got to listen with me to Pete Sebastian. Have you heard the picture? And you just have a montage that cost you three grand and you got all these names. Yeah, saying whatever you want. Like you do it with any store. Ted's plumbing, right? Anything.

[Unknown Guest]

Wow, bro, we found somebody bigger. Floyd Mayweather number one. What do you think he's charging?

[Pete Corielli]

Well, based on the way this is.

[Unknown Guest]

Going, what, like 2,015 grand?

[Pete Corielli]

Grand. That's what I'm talking about. Do we got a Floyd way mather a sample. What you get for your 15 grand?

[Unknown Guest]

Go back to the Cameo. Let's see what Floyd Mayweather gives you for 15 grand. He might just. He might just do it to go. Okay. If somebody's going to pay this amount of money then. Then I'll do it.

[Pete Corielli]

Fifteen grand.

[Unknown Guest]

Shit. He's got. He's got. He's got a pep, bro. He's got a pep Talk. He's getting $50 of taxed. Get the pep talk going on this.

[Floyd Mayweather]

Floyd money made with a Mr. 50 and no PL. I'm watching you. I'm seeing you continue to help people. I'm watching E Commerce Mastermind. I'm behind it 100%.

[Unknown Guest]

That's work money on all the way down to Australia.

[Floyd Mayweather]

I want to say I'm proud of you. I'm part of your new app. You got the Doghouse boxing gym. I have to get there, come there, work out and hang out with you. Good luck with everything. Keep up the great work.

[Unknown Guest]

The Bull. What's up?

[Floyd Mayweather]

It's Floyd Money Mayweather. I want to say happy birthday to Card can and you guys are doing big things. Card product of the year. Congratulations.

[Pete Corielli]

In the morning I splash it on and it makes me smeal. Mainly cut. That makes sense. 15k. That's all you get. That's beautiful. That's how the business. I would do that. Shit. God, you imagine I would do that all just. Can you. Can you do a practice one for like, how would you do it? Do it for Bill and Bill's architect firm.

[Unknown Guest]

You know, Lana and I were looking to remodel our house and we came across Bill and Bill's architect firm. I got to tell you, the designs that they have on their website was so good that I had a call for more information. If you're looking for an architect in the Winnipeg area, please go to Bill and Bill. They'll give you great customer service. They got reasonable prices and on top of that they're respectable guys. Bill and Bill, when building a life.

[Pete Corielli]

Bro, listen to me. What you just gave me, that's like. That's like a million dollar campaign. That's like the Allstate guy. That's. You don't give that away. Like, I mean, that's too much, bro.

[Unknown Guest]

Do you think?

[Pete Corielli]

I can't believe you do the ones on here for what you do.

[Unknown Host]

This podcast is brought to you by Aura. The most complete online safety toolkit. 2024 has seen a massive surge in high profile data breaches raising serious concerns about the security of your personal information Dell's breach exposed 3.9 million customer records and Ticketmaster also faced a massive breach, compromising over 560 million records. And most alarming of all, this past summer, National Public Data reported a breach potentially affecting Every single American. 2.9 billion records used for background checks were stolen and released to the public for free. If this all sounds pretty scary, it's because it is. You've never been more vulnerable in the digital world than you are right now. But before I keep spouting dark statistics and grim news stories, I'll share some positive news. This podcast is thrilled to partner with Aura, who monitors the dark web for users phone numbers, emails and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. And even better than that, Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance, making sure you have a safety net in the event of a worst case scenario. Aura is a complete online safety toolkit which includes a variety of other features to keep you safe online. They have a VPN for secure browsing. They even have a password manager to help you create and store strong passwords and more. I've already started all my holiday shopping for my friends and family and I can rest easy knowing that Aura has my back. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free. When you visit aura.comdefense that's aura.comdefense to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones once more. That's a u r a.com defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check their site for details.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Ryan Reynolds here for I guess my hundredth mint commercial.

[Unknown Guest]

No, no, no, no, no, no, don't.

[Pete Corielli]

No, no, no.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I mean, honestly, when I started this I thought I'd only have to do like four of these. I mean it's unlimited to Premium Wireless for $15 a month. How are there still people paying two or three times that much? I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim blaming. Here, give it a [e-mail] save whenever you're ready.

[Unknown Host]

$45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only taxes and fees, extra speed slower above 40 gigabytes CD tails listen people.

[Unknown Guest]

Reach out to me and go can you say Happy birthday or can you, you know, my mother's dying of cancer. Whatever. Could you do a video? Whatever. I just do it for free, right? I don't charge. I just do It. Right. Yeah, but. And I'm not looking for a pat on the back. I'm just saying, like, somebody needs something. If I got the time, I'll definitely do it. But what I'm saying to you is, and I might want to experiment with this just for a goof, the Pete and Sebastian cameo. Whatever, right? We don't. We don't do business shout outs. We just do happy birthdays, right? What's the price for the Pete and Sebastian show? Happy birthday. What do you think?

[Pete Corielli]

Well, it's interesting.

[Unknown Guest]

I got a price.

[Pete Corielli]

I got.

[Unknown Guest]

I got a price in mind right now.

[Pete Corielli]

What do you. What are you thinking? What are you thinking?

[Unknown Guest]

An account of three, Give me your price, and we'll say at the same time.

[Pete Corielli]

Well, I was gonna. Mine wasn't gonna be money. I was thinking maybe we set up, like, some sort of a mailing address and we do it based on it could also be on services. Like, what do you got? Sort of thing, you know, like. Like, you know, for example, I would do it for an ounce and a case of good red wine.

[Unknown Guest]

What are you bartering, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Hey, let's keep the taxes out of it. Let's make it neat. Maybe someone calls up, he's like, how about a couple of vintage 1970 mopeds? I'm like, hey, you're gonna get a lot of Pete and Sebastian birthdays for those, but you want to put money.

[Unknown Guest]

I got a better idea.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

For one month in December, Pete and Sebastian are going on cameo. Every dollar made, we donate it to charity.

[Pete Corielli]

That's either an edit or you just put me on the spot. Listen, I already donate the charity.

[Unknown Guest]

It's the Pete Coriali Fund.

[Pete Corielli]

No, I'm down with that. I'm not. I'm. I do. I do St. Jude as it is, so I'd be down with doing that for St. Jude. I think that. What's the other one? Tunnels for Towers is a good one now too, but what do you got? I know you have some stuff, some charities with the Alzheimer's that you.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, yeah. So I got my own little foundation called.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, yours. That's right.

[Unknown Guest]

Tag your it. Which is Alzheimer's, children's education, and veterans. We just did a veteran. I told you about that. I told you. Did I tell you about the veteran thing we did? We fed a thousand veterans here in Los Angeles.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't think so.

[Unknown Guest]

No, it's awesome. I don't know why. See, when they have these big amount of time that go between cast, there's a lot of things that go, like, go. They slip through. Anyway, something to think about. Something to think about with Cameo. We'll get maybe involved with them in some way, shape or form, maybe in a charity way. Because I just. I can't see this. Maybe these people are donating it to charity. I don't know.

[Pete Corielli]

You bring up a good idea, though. What. What if we did a contest somehow and the winner in December gets to hang on the cast with us?

[Unknown Guest]

Isn't that loose ends?

[Pete Corielli]

That's. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Hey, it's every Tuesday, folks. Don't miss it live. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Well, how about this? I could see doing it for 350 if you told me this. Right. Listen, Pete, we're not going to call you every time you get an order, but when we get like 30 orders, we'll give you a call. We'll set up. You set up a day, and then you bang out 30. So then that day becomes 30 times 300, you know, but by the time you get 30 orders, the first order is going to be from two and a half years ago, you know? You know what I mean? The Pete and Sebastian Show.

[Unknown Guest]

I went to the dermatologist yesterday. Have you been to a dermatologist in the last five years?

[Pete Corielli]

I don't know that I've ever been the one in my life. That's specifically for your face.

[Unknown Guest]

Skin. Skin cancer?

[Pete Corielli]

No, just my regular doctor.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay. So I want to start going for an annual checkup to the dermatologist. All right. So I've been to this dermatologist before. I've seen him before. Generally. I've gone to this guy for Botox in my armpits, so my armpits don't sweat. This is for stage. They used to leak.

[Pete Corielli]

And that's a dermatologist. Covers that area, obviously.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. So I go in yesterday and I got something on my back. Little blemish. Been there for a while. What is it? You know, you ever do a scan at a skin and go, fuck is this thing? You got any of that?

[Pete Corielli]

Yep. Oh, yeah. And you ever ask your wife if. Has that always been there? Or is that new? Like, I'm asking her about my own body? Because I'm not sure. Yeah, man, I see those things coming.

[Unknown Guest]

Generally. My wife points out something and says, what's this? It's gotten darker. Oh, yeah. Like, she. She's had an eye on it for a while. You ever get that? Yeah.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, man. No. See, see, that's why. That's. If you Were. If you were single, you know, you. You die. You would just die because no one's telling you to someone. You're back getting darker. You need to be in a relationship just so someone could look at your body in the back and say, you know, listen, you got a problem back here.

[Unknown Guest]

So. So I go in right now. I like this guy, but he's got no bedside manner whatsoever. None. When he comes in. Like, he comes in and there's no, like, no pleasantries exchanged. It's. Let's. Let's get down to. He goes, what are you doing here? I go, let's claim for a checkup. He's like, jack up. And this guy does a lot of cosmetics, too. You know, He's. He's doing a lot of. I go, yeah, I just want to see, you know, a couple things on my body. I don't know what the they are. I want to see what's going on. He's all right, take your shirt off then. Because I have my shirt on, Right? Something about taking your shirt off at a doctor's office, right? Like, there's the nurse there, and then there's him, and I took the shirt off. And my question to you. Do you think that when people take their shirt off and unveil what's underneath their clothing, do you think the nurse goes, geez, I didn't think he was gonna be that fat. Or, Jesus, his nipples are that small. Like, do you think they are looking at the body and critiquing what they're seeing? Like, oh, my God, he's got that much hair on his body? Or do you think they just see this all day long? It doesn't matter. What's your take?

[Pete Corielli]

I'm leaning towards their humans, right? I can't. I have to think, especially considering what you do for a living, that the nurse is going home to a husband going, guess who's fat? You know, like. Like, not that you're, you know, fat, but I'm just saying, heavier than I thought. Yeah, it doesn't look like he did the Irishman, you know, Like. I mean, listen to what you're saying. If you're a nurse and let's say. I don't know what could we compare it to? Let's say, like, Kevin Bacon comes in for a checkup and he's got a little, like, spare tire. I do. At least Jackie makes fun of my little pouch here. You know, you're going to go home to Lana and go. You're not going to go. Kevin Bacon was in for an Exam. You could do some sit ups or nothing. What do you think?

[Unknown Guest]

That's us, though. I'm, what I'm saying is that's us because we're in, you know, we're comedians, we're observational. We're always kind of looking at what's going on. But if you're a nurse, you're like, all right, you know, I, geez, I've seen cadavers, you know, I've seen dead bodies in school or whatever the hell.

[Pete Corielli]

It is, but not of people that, you know, sold out the Garden five nights in a row. I think you're. This is a little different, but it's, you know. Anyway, but I wanted to say before we go any further, as much as no bedside man is not good, it's like same thing when account. When I have an accountant that like isn't good at speaking, I'm like, that's because he's so in the numbers. He's just so good at that. He doesn't even have time to be social. If your doctor was like all social and how about those Lakers? I'd be like, this guy ain't thorough. Your guy's so thorough, he doesn't have time for the niceties. Take your shirt off, let's see if you have cancer, right? That's what, that's what it's coming down to. That's what we're doing right now, right?

[Unknown Guest]

Take your shirt off, let's see if you got cancer. Take your shirt off.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, man. Your wife saying it's getting darker. Oh my God. That would scare the out of me. It's getting darker. Start the car, you know what I mean?

[Unknown Guest]

So I go in, right? And he's looking, he's looking at my body. He goes, see these brown, these brown, I got some brown freckles. He goes, that's nothing. These little red spots. I got like little red spots, like three or four I might like. Yeah, that's, that's, don't worry about that. Turn around. And then I hear this. And, and, and I, I don't want to hear anything while you're examining me. I, I hear this. Now he's in the back going, and he goes to the nurse. And I don't know what he says because the word was so long. So I'm just going to make up a word. He goes, he's got a Heba Tobin Teba Tobin Rx, right? And I go.

[Pete Corielli]

And I go to.

[Unknown Guest]

Him, when do I start chemo?

[Pete Corielli]

That's not even funny. He did not say that.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. And he goes, what? I go, bro, that did sound good, bro. He goes, no, it's because it's a tumor, but it's not.

[Pete Corielli]

That sounds even worse than gluten, glutton.

[Unknown Guest]

But he goes, it's nothing. He goes, if I would have said hubertubin, tuba tubing, tabitubin. I go, you're telling me one. I was one word away from the Mayo Clinic.

[Pete Corielli]

One tubing away from the Mayo Clinic.

[Unknown Guest]

He goes, that's the one you got to worry about. I go, jesus Christ. He goes, don't worry about it. It's nothing.

[Pete Corielli]

Okay?

[Unknown Guest]

So now. So now he's. He goes, is any. Anything else? I go, there's. There's something on my leg that I'd like you to take a look at. I take down my pants. Another thing I take down my pants is I just feel like. I feel like completely. Just as soon as your pants come off in the. In the doctor's office, there's no coming back from that. It's just like, you're sitting there. I got my sweatpants around my ankles. I got my shirt off. I'm in my underwear, and I'm telling the doctor, I got something on my leg. I just feel like. I feel, like, hopeless. Just sit. Sit. They got complete rain over me.

[Pete Corielli]

He goes, in hindsight, we should have been doctors. You ever see, like, you're a doctor, you do all that on your own. You come in to another doctor and you go, I got, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. Like, I don't know. You're so helpless. You're just sitting there half naked with your pants down. Just so uninformed. What's on my knee? He could literally go, I'm not telling you until you stick your finger in your ass and lick it. You know, you go, you're just so helpless, right? We get, oh, God.

[Unknown Guest]

And lick it. That's. That's his other slogan. I ain't telling you what you got unless you put your finger in your ass and lick it. What?

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, okay, but you know, I've done that. Dude, do you need to shirt off, too? Yeah, we need your shirt off. Okay, whatever you need, doctor. So you're sitting there, he's looking at your knee, and you're waiting for an answer. Am I dying? And I. Oh, God. What happened? What happened?

[Unknown Guest]

He says, that's the twin sister. The what? You got on your back. It's the same thing. It's only on your leg. Don't worry about it. Okay. Then he says, how many Tumors make.

[Pete Corielli]

A problem, you know?

[Unknown Guest]

Then he's in my hair, bro. He's checking my head. I don't know what the hell this move was, but he's in there. Like, I go, what is this, a lice check? What are we looking for?

[Pete Corielli]

License, Heckle your doctor the whole time he works on you. Jesus. You know, what, do I start chemo? What are you looking for life? He's probably like, hey, just can it, man. This is some serious. He's looking for. Those were baby tumors. He's looking for the mama. That's. He's in your head looking for the mother tumor. Holy bro. God. I don't know where. He just starts going into his scalp. How frightening is that?

[Unknown Guest]

That's. That's what I'm saying. Like, did he check the back and go, oh, if he's got this on the back, what I really need to check is the scalp, because that's where the starts.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

So he's in my head, and then he takes my face with his hands like this. He's looking at my face, and he goes, polish him up. What? He goes, you got sun damage. Not bad, but you need a polish. I'm going to have her explain to you what we do for this. And then as he's leaving the room, he's like, how you been? This is after how you been? Now, my question, do you think he saved the how you been till the end of when everything was okay? And he didn't do how you been in the beginning. I just. I. I felt like the how you been came late. Normally, how you been comes in the beginning, not at the end. And if I did have something and he said, listen, you got. You got. You know, you got some skin cancer on your. On your back. Do you think I would have got a how you been at the end?

[Pete Corielli]

Right?

[Unknown Guest]

No, you would have been just, No.

[Pete Corielli]

I love the move. I love the move. He's all about efficiency. You get in, we'll get you fixed up. If it's good news, then I'll ask how you been on your way out, if it's bad news, we're going to get right down to what we have to do about that. I just think these guys though. What he's calling sun damage. You're calling perfect. You know what I mean? It's not damaged. I was laying in it. I wasn't accidentally. All right. Did you tell them I was laying out in Mexico with no sunscreen? Are you. Then if you told him that and he looked at your face, would he go, dude, I, I am blown away at how little damage is done. I'm curious. And what's a. Yeah, what's a polish? I can't wait to hear what that was.

[Unknown Guest]

I'll tell you what. And I don't know.

[Pete Corielli]

You'Re a funny. He, like, I'll tell you what.

[Unknown Guest]

I got. And this is out to the listeners too. He gave me.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

A full, a four step process in the shower at five. Actually, he gave me. He's got his own product, so he's selling his own product. Fine. I don't, I get, I'll give you that you're hustling. But I gotta tell you right now, I started this yesterday and again this morning before I came up here. It's like an exfoliant soap for the entire body. So what you do is you put it in a wash rag. I'm using wash mitts. You ever use a wash mitt?

[Pete Corielli]

No.

[Unknown Guest]

They're gloves.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're gloves of like a kind of exfoliating glove.

[Unknown Guest]

So I wash. And if you could, if you could just picture this in your head. I wash my body with gloves. So you put the exfoliant in the gloves. You get that cooking the whole body, right? Then you do a rinse. Then there is a cleanse like a soap. So you exfoliate, then you do the soap, do the face wash. You get out of the shower, gives you a little oil for the face and then the polish is the moisturizer that goes on the, the whole body, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

It's like silk, bro. It's like putting on silk.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Then he's telling me to come back when I got about seven to ten days of downtime. He wants to do a peel on my, on my skin to burn off the sun damage. So what happens is basically does appeal and over the next five to 10 days, your skin, you basically start shedding skin. You start to shed, bro. It's like a, right, like an alligator or a snake.

[Pete Corielli]

A snake? Yeah, man. Oh my God, dude.

[Unknown Guest]

And then he wants to do something with the eyes because he goes, you got like, your eyes are droopy. You know, we need to like kind of lift those out. So he just does this numbing of the eyes. I don't know, I gotta look in, into it more where your eyes become a little bit more like you're awake. I've always had a problem with especially my left eyelid. Like it's almost like I look like Bo Jackson.

[Pete Corielli]

Does it. Like you don't feel it Opens as much or something. I don't know. I don't know.

[Unknown Guest]

It feels like it needs a. Needs a little lift. This is not surgical. Apparently this is all done with cream or what have you. So anyway, I highly recommend our listeners, especially if you're north of 50, going into the dermatologist, getting a full body check to see if you have any cancerous lesions or what have you. I think people kind of neglect that. I am full force on that. I'm doing a full medical run here in the next three or four months. Gonna go get a scan, heart, brain, the whole thing. A man barely alive, gentlemen, we can rebuild him.

[Unknown Host]

We have the technology.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Pete Corielli]

I know I am.

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[Pete Corielli]

With the face. And you're going to get this done. It's interesting because you're going to come out of this with like the. The facial of a Japanese woman. Just a beautiful white face. Like. So are you gonna now take advantage of this new face and stay out of the sun? A lot of umbrella action. No more laying out. Or are you looking at this as a new canvas ready for a nice bake? Like which, you know what I'm saying? Because to me it sounds like getting liposuction and then. And then going out and eating a hamburger. Unless you're gonna. Right. You're live the life of a geisha now with the umbrella, right? All the time.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, I am. I'm gonna take it as a new new face, not a new canvas to pollute again. He gave me some SPF 40 to start using. Put this on your face. You know, I think, I think, I think the tanning game right now is not over. But I'm gonna limit it, you know, limit it just because I think there's been a lot of damage done to the face due to sun exposure and not properly taking care of my face.

[Pete Corielli]

I think then there's a bigger thing that needs to be discussed right now. Man. I really think that, you know, you might be reaching a point in your life, especially if you're going to go with a new face. I think you might have to start thinking about maybe you and Lana discussing it together, maybe getting together with a serious. I don't know what kind of person to make a person. But what am I. What do you want to look like the second half of your life? Like, like, you know, are you. You're saying, oh, not much with the sun you're gonna have a white face.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

A white face is like.

[Pete Corielli]

It's pale. It looks like you're fucking dying. So you're gonna have to work with that. What's going to be the overall look to go with the new corpse face?

[Unknown Guest]

No, I'm not going corpse. I might go self tanning. You know, self tanning? I don't know.

[Pete Corielli]

I see, right, that you can't. That's like linoleum kitchen floor.

[Unknown Guest]

Come on.

[Pete Corielli]

I know it's not the real thing. Trump looks ridiculous. And so. I can't believe no one tells him he don't look ridiculous.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, no, I. Listen, I don't know. He's got the wrong toner on. He's got some. Something. Something's got. Somebody's got to change the formula when it comes to the.

[Pete Corielli]

I mean, it looks like he does it him, right? Like. Yeah, just so, like. I mean, I don't know, man. Can you get it done so well that we think you went to Florida?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna do it. I'm not gonna tell you what I'm gonna do, and I'm gonna do it over on the road and let's see what you say.

[Pete Corielli]

And even lying go, man, I was. Wait till you're somewhere warm and go. I laid out for a little bit. And then even if it takes six months to say this, and then I'll go, oh, yeah, bro, good to see you back in the sun. Then you go, lied. I was in Milwaukee. I got sprayed. You know what I'm saying? Because you think this. Let's just take Jennifer Aniston. I know she's got a house in Malibu. Do you think a woman like her lays out ever sits in the sun and gets a little sun, a tan or no? I mean, I know she's all into beauty and all that. Is that like. Is that just like. So is that like smoking a cigarette? Is that not done anymore?

[Unknown Guest]

I don't think so. I don't think so, bro. I don't think they're laying out in the sun. I think this is all self tanner. This is not. This is not actual. But there's no. There's no replacement for a tan from the sun. And we saw evidence of that when I came back from Mexico, bro, I've never gotten so many compliments in my life on a Mexican tan.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, God.

[Unknown Guest]

On tour, I mean, John Petrelli was like, you lose weight? I mean, like, bro, the tan just.

[Pete Corielli]

Teeth look white and. And like, it's like if I throw a white Linen shirt on right now. Women might chase me out of this building.

[Unknown Guest]

Like.

[Pete Corielli]

Like, you're like. It's just. Why don't we. What would happen if you moved down to Miami and you just never went with sunblock and you were always tan and you're like, let's just roll this dice. Are you going to start melting at 65? Or maybe you'll be 87 and you still look great. You're like, I'm glad I didn't believe the bullshit.

[Unknown Guest]

Hey, listen, I've seen people that's got severed sun damage, you know, this skin looks like leather, bro.

[Pete Corielli]

It's a tan leather. You know what I'm saying? Even that looks kind of cool. Looks like I almost want to be like, when you die, can I make a jacket out of your face? Oh, my God. Seriously, you ever see somebody's old ladies from Florida with the tan, wrinkled back? Oh, I make a nice leather jacket. Oh, God. But I do, like, I like a weathered, tan face. Looks kind of cool. Looks like, you know, just sail until the day I die. Right. But you know, again, you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know where you were going with that. Oh, I've seen damaged skin. Okay. All right, what are we doing? What kind of show we doing here?

[Unknown Guest]

Listen, listen, I'm just saying, when you get a new lease on life, you know, when you come out of that and everything's okay, but then he says, you got some damage, you start to go, all right. It's like looking at the heart going, you got some. Got some clogging there. You might want to relax with the meat, you know?

[Pete Corielli]

Are you calling those two baby tumors on your body and a new lease on life? Is that what you're saying?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, it's a no. I'm talking about the whole scan. Like, I came out of there unscathed, but some damage to the face.

[Pete Corielli]

You didn't even need to go if you never went look at your dad. He never went. Look at where he grew up. Come on.

[Unknown Guest]

My dad's going to the dermatologist. He's one of these guys. My dad goes. When you go to the. Like, I don't know, when you go to a dermatologist, have them check your feet. It's where it starts. Some people don't see it. It starts between the toes. Sometimes the cancer, it's on your foot. Nobody knows that. It's like these parents, you know, they know shit that's like, obscure. Oh, my God. Right?

[Pete Corielli]

My toes. Right after the show, man.

[Unknown Guest]

Lana didn't Say, check the feet. She don't know about the feet. My dad probably read it in an article in the Sun Times in 1983. And that stuck with him, right?

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, yeah, but so I feel on some level, all this dermatology, you know, knee this, that it's like, it's your hobby. It's your hobby.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, it's. No, it's not my hobby. It's.

[Pete Corielli]

It kind of is. Like, if you woke up one day and you didn't have a blemish on your elbow, you'd be bored. You know what I mean? Make me an appointment. I mean, you just go to see a dermatologist and you're calling it a lease on new lease on life. You know how insulting that is to people that almost died, guy? Now that I got this new lease on life, I'm gonna do my six step program in the shower. Oh, I'm joking with you, man.

[Unknown Guest]

No, bro, I know you're joking, but I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you, if I get at least one of our listeners. Yeah. To start the Polish program, the five step program, I just did.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

I feel like I've done my. My job.

[Pete Corielli]

That's. That's admirable, man. All right, you. Are you supposed to use those mitts every shower, or do you only exfoliate, like, twice a week?

[Unknown Guest]

I use it every. Every shower.

[Pete Corielli]

Every shower.

[Unknown Guest]

I got mitts in every shower. I got mitts in my shower. I got mitts in the shower that I use. I'll buy the gym.

[Pete Corielli]

And I would imagine I believe I'm correct on this. There's, like, a hair routine, too. Like. Like, what are we up. What are we clocking in on a shower? If we do all steps, of all.

[Unknown Guest]

Things supposed to be done, I gotta say, just. I'm in the shower 11 minutes.

[Pete Corielli]

Put out brush fire in 11 minutes with all that water.

[Unknown Guest]

What are you doing?

[Pete Corielli]

I go. I go.

[Unknown Guest]

It's funny.

[Pete Corielli]

I go the other route. I'm trying to go so fast that, like, when I get out, Jackie's like, did you shower yet? I'm like, just get out. Like, I'm like. I have it all down. Like, while the water's getting hot, I'm already cupping shampoo in my hand. So as I step in, rub there, grow a rinse, thumb there. I'm like. I'm almost like, daytona, pit stop, you know? Like, everything's working at once. I. I don't linger. I don't linger. So I'm like, two, three minutes max, bro.

[Unknown Guest]

I've been Known to do a Rocky in the shower.

[Pete Corielli]

What's that?

[Unknown Guest]

You don't know what Iraqi is?

[Pete Corielli]

I don't know if I remember what you said.

[Unknown Guest]

Pull up.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, I know what you're talking about. Oh, God, you do. All weed. I think it's five.

[Unknown Guest]

He starts the movie this way. Rocky five. Let's pull it up. If you guys don't know what a Rocky is in the shower, it's one of the coolest moves I've ever seen. I think we might have actually pulled it up on.

[Pete Corielli]

We have on past Cass. You know what? I might have to do that in my shower tonight before I go out play. Might do the show in the hotel shower. Growing up. Can I ask you a question, though? Side question. Did you. Because this is something I need your opinion on. Did you shower in the same shower that your parents used growing up? Yeah, all throughout. Even in high school? Yeah, that's. That. That's like modest living, man. I'll tell you. So, like, why.

[Unknown Guest]

You didn't do that?

[Pete Corielli]

No, no. When I got in my showers and I was still wet from my mom showering in there before me, that's like. That's tight. That's tight. I'm not going to lie to you. That's what I'm doing right now. It's Sadie, bro. Like, we have three showers in our house. One is downstairs where the guests would be. One is in our master. We have a really nice one put in, but it's all glass. And Jackie's like, if we use it, you gotta wipe it down afterwards with a squeegee. It's like a fucking job. So we've been using Sadie's, and I said to Jackie, listen, Sadie's getting old enough. Pretty soon she's gonna be like, telling us to use our own shower. I go the minute I see something in there, like, there was a razor blade in there the other day. And Jackie goes, that's Sadie's. I'm like, oh, God. I'm using the same shower that my daughter's putting her leg up and running. A razor Bl blade. I mean, Jesus, it's probably time for me to start just using my own. And do you think if you have your own shower, if you grew up like you, we maybe only had one bathroom. I understand. But if you have access to your own shower, what age you think you should probably start not using the same shower as your daughter?

[Unknown Guest]

Well, I have to. I have to recant my statement. We did start using. There was two showers in the house. Oh, okay. There's a secondary bathroom that we had that we used to get ready. It was just that shower in there. You could literally kill yourself getting in and out of this thing. Right. The way they made it was. If you could. Yeah, it was a tub shower. So it had a tub in it.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And when I lived there, it was a curtain that you. That you draw and then you shower in there. And when I started to become 15, 16, like a teenager going out, I started using. That was my shower. My sister and I used that. But the better shower was in my parents room. It was like the. For some reason, it was like, the pressure was unbelievable in there.

[Pete Corielli]

So, like, about 15, 16, you felt like you want your own shower, right? A little away from your parents?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, I felt like, you know, put. You know, I was. Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Corielli]

Even.

[Unknown Guest]

Even now when I go home, it's like I go in my dad's shower and I'm like, yeah, it's like, you ever go in somebody else's shower and look at what they're using?

[Pete Corielli]

There's nothing more comfortable. Then, like, I go visit my parents when they still lived in Jersey in the regular house I have to shower with. My mom shouted. See what I mean?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. I remember I used to shower. Where the hell. Or when you shower at somebody else's house. And then it's like, right.

[Pete Corielli]

I have the shower people use when they visit me. It's a guest shower. It's sterile. Like, there's no. You wouldn't know we shower in there at all. So it's kind of got that hotel feel. But when you visit someone and you're showering and they only have like one shower and it's their regular shower, that's a.

[Unknown Guest]

And they got like a. Like a sponge hanging off. Like, you ever see, like, they got like a sponge hanging off the faucet arm. You're like, hey, and don't kid yourself.

[Pete Corielli]

They're outside going, I can't believe this fucking guy's in my shower. Right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

They're not happy that you're in there either.

[Pete Corielli]

You know what I'm saying? Like, you ever have a dog or you just start one? But wait, if you ever have a dog, visit and another dog sits in your dog's bed, my dog looks at the dog like, guy, what the fuck are you doing in my shit right now? You know what I mean?

[Unknown Guest]

And then he looks at you and go, why is the owner hard, bro?

[Pete Corielli]

You're ripping off of an edit, bro. That's hilarious. Why is your own.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, oh, oh, my God.

[Pete Corielli]

I can't stop. Why is your owner, after all.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Bro.

[Pete Corielli]

How is this show not number one? I don't even get it. God, would anyone even want us right now to have a political figure on going, so what are you gonna do for the economy? No, they read.

[Unknown Guest]

We'd rather hear that oh, Pete Sebastian show once again, SebastianLive.com. i know Pete's in Long island right now, but this is going to air way after he leaves. So. Patreon. We got the Patreon page. $5. $5 on the Patreon page. You can come on and ask us to sing Happy Birthday to your mother on Loose Ends if you want.

[Pete Corielli]

That's it. I'm sitting here. I'm sitting here making fun of Kenny g for charging 350. I'm doing an hour on loose ends for $5. Oh, God.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm still getting over this pillow setup you got behind you.

[Pete Corielli]

Oh, this show. Let's put this show to bed.

[Unknown Guest]

All right, There you have it. Pete Sebastian show. Pete, go do your shows. I'll see you next week in Milwaukee.

[Pete Corielli]

Yeah, man. For the taping. The big taping, man. Awesome.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The show has ended.

[Unknown Guest]

He goes. He's got a Heba Tobin tea. Tobin Rx. Right? And I go. And I go to him. When do I start chemo? Right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

All right. Thanks to Seed for sponsoring this episode, guys. You find it hard to prioritize your health during the sected season, right? So much going on. Or do you often feel weighed down by certain foods or miss the feeling of food freedom?

[Pete Corielli]

We all do sometimes.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Unknown Host]

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