635: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 635 - "Best of 2024 - Part 2 - The Rest"

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Pete and Sebastian Show – EP 635: "Best of 2024 - Part 2 - The Rest"

Introduction and Personal Updates

In the season finale episode of "The Pete and Sebastian Show," hosts Pete Corrielli and Sebastian Maniscalco reflect on the past year, sharing personal milestones and humorous anecdotes that set the tone for an engaging finale.

• Getting a New Pet: Sebastian excitedly announces the addition of a new member to his family, a male dog named Luigi. He shares the challenges and joys of puppy training, highlighting the difference between handling a dog without prior experience.

  Sebastian (05:05): "I'm trying to implement what he's doing on our own because it's, you know, it's work."

• High School Memories: The hosts reminisce about their high school experiences, particularly focusing on Pete's ankle injury during his last game, which ended his athletic scholarship aspirations.

  Sebastian (03:27): "We dissected your injury, basically, which was your last game of your high school career, where you went down with an ankle injury and was helped off the court by your teammates."

Pet Training and Behavior

The conversation delves deeper into the nuances of dog ownership, exploring training techniques and behavioral quirks.

• Training Challenges: Sebastian discusses the difficulties of training Luigi, emphasizing the dog's intelligence and occasional misbehavior, such as peeing indoors out of excitement.

  Sebastian (05:10): "The dog is extremely intelligent. Yeah, it sits. It stays still proving, you know, every once in a while, gets excited, he'll pee on the floor."

• Neutering Debate: The hosts debate the pros and cons of neutering dogs, sharing personal experiences and opinions on how it affects a dog's behavior.

  Pete (12:19): "Yeah, absolutely. And as time goes on, it's gonna... before you know it, dude, it's..."

  Sebastian (12:45): "They want to. They want to. Yeah, yeah."

The Mysterious Community Letter

A surprising turn in the episode introduces a fictional or prank letter from the Village of Fredonia, New York, addressing Pete's alleged disruptive behavior within the community.

• Letter Breakdown: Pete reads aloud a letter alleging multiple complaints against him, including threatening a local dive coach and creating nuisances in the village.

  Pete (37:24): "Dear Mr. Corieli, we hope this letter finds you well. As residents of the village of Fredonia, New York..."

• Authenticity Doubts: Both hosts express skepticism about the letter's legitimacy, considering it might be a prank or a fabricated threat, highlighting the absurdity of a community collectively demanding an individual to leave.

  Sebastian (40:11): "When I read that, I have to admit, my first thought was, this guy's a liability."

  Pete (44:05): "Listen, it's the middle of the day right now. You want to... we can do it, but I think we'll be embarrassed."

High School Sports Career and Injury Footage

Pete shares nostalgic memories of his high school basketball career, including the pivotal injury that ended his season.

• Injury Impact: Reflecting on his injury, Pete recounts the lack of support from teammates and the abrupt end it caused to his athletic pursuits.

  Pete (75:08): "I couldn't wait to get on with the college career."

• Shared Footage: The hosts watch and comment on actual footage from Pete's last high school game, providing a candid look at the emotions and chaos surrounding his injury.

  Sebastian (75:15): "You limp off the court like some wet seal."

Parenting Stories and Family Dynamics

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to humorous and relatable parenting stories, showcasing the challenges and mishaps that come with raising children.

• Dining Out with Kids: Sebastian narrates a dinner experience where his and Pete's approaches to ordering at a restaurant starkly contrast, leading to comical frustrations.

  Sebastian (57:55): "I've abandoned all of my natural instincts since I've been married."

• Grocery Store Fiasco: The hosts discuss a chaotic trip to the grocery store, involving dropped items, lost keys, and the interplay between husband and wife during stressful moments.

  Sebastian (80:39): "I was lit into my kids in the aisle... I don't want them just to come back into normal life."

  Pete (86:03): "That was a total guilt one right there. Totally."

Fitness Gym Encounters

Pete and Sebastian share their pet peeves related to gym etiquette, highlighting the annoyance of encountering intrusive or inconsiderate gym-goers.

• Annoying Gym Behavior: Sebastian describes an encounter with a fellow gym member who rowed simultaneously on a machine, disrupting his workout routine.

  Sebastian (95:01): "He started to row as you were rowing... I don't do rowing that day."

• Adjusting Workouts: Both hosts emphasize the importance of maintaining personal space and respecting others' workout routines to ensure a pleasant gym environment.

  Pete (98:19): "And even with you, we say hello, and then we kind of give each other space."

Closing Remarks and Future Teasers

As the episode concludes, Pete and Sebastian express their gratitude to loyal listeners and hint at exciting developments for the upcoming year.

• Looking Forward: Sebastian teases potential interviews and segments that promise to bring fresh content to the show.

  Sebastian (99:56): "We did get pretty close to the White House this year."

• Final Thoughts: The hosts wrap up with mutual appreciation and anticipation for future episodes, ensuring listeners remain engaged and excited for what's to come.

  Pete (100:56): "That's it. That's it. Nothing happened in there. Exactly."

Notable Quotes

• Pete (05:12): "Is it that guy, what's his name, who does the dogs?"
• Sebastian (29:11): "There's a little air drop... little eyedropper. I start eyedropping the whole bathroom."
• Pete (37:04): "If there's no way. If they sent me that, I would get a lawyer and I'd sue to town."

Conclusion

Episode 635 of "The Pete and Sebastian Show" offers a blend of personal storytelling, humor, and relatable experiences, all delivered with the hosts' signature comedic flair. From navigating the challenges of new pet ownership to fictional community disputes and parenting escapades, Pete and Sebastian provide listeners with an entertaining and heartfelt look into their lives, concluding the year on a high note and setting the stage for an even more engaging 2025.

Transcript

[Sponsor Announcer]

This podcast is brought to you by Aura A Complete Online Safety Toolkit this past summer, National Public Data reported a breach potentially affecting Every American. Over 2.9 billion records used for background checks were stolen. If safeguarding personal information wasn't a priority before this incident should serve as a critical wake up call. You're more vulnerable than ever in today's digital landscape. That's why we're thrilled to partner with Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users phone numbers, emails and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. Additionally, Aura provides up to 5 million in identity theft insurance, offering a robust safety net in the event of a worst case scenario. Aura is a complete online safety toolkit which includes a variety of other features to keep you safe online, including a VPN for secure browsing data broker, opt out to stop companies from selling your personal information and a password manager to help you create and store strong passwords. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online, all for free. When you visit aura.comdefense that's aura.comdefense to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's a U R a dot com defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details. This episode is brought to you by Google Gemini. With the Gemini app you can talk live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 to use Gemini Live.

[Pete Corrielli]

And now the Pete and Sebastian show with Pete Corrielli and Sebastian Maniscalco. When mistletoe and tinsel glow, paint a Yuletide Valentine.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Happy New Year everybody. New Year's Eve Coming to you Pete Sebastian Show Unbelievable year here at the Pete and Sebastian Show. Went over a lot. A lot has happened. I got a dog this year. We named it Luigi. I got on an airplane I think in the middle of the year and had to blow out the bathroom which we discuss here in this episode. You Pete had a letter come in that I'm surprised, didn't have any cyanide in it or it was a prank that was played on you. We still don't know who the perpetrator was, but we discussed that in this episode.

[Pete Corrielli]

A lot of fun stuff. A lot of stuff that happened. You know, some of the stuff cans threw in there, I forgot. We even talked about things that did happen. So I shared some high school stuff.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The high school. The high school stuff. We dissected your injury, basically, which was your last game of your high school career, where you went down with an ankle injury and was helped off the court by your teammates. So we dissected that. We are still looking for footage of when I was brutally taken down on a high school soccer game where I made such a quick cut, the guy didn't even know what to do. Right.

[Pete Corrielli]

I gotta see this. I hope you find it, man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And my left ankle collapsed and basically destroyed my junior year. And if I do say so myself, I was on my way to a scholarship.

[Pete Corrielli]

I believe it. I mean, that was the difference between Penn State and not Penn State. Right? Yeah, it was a tough. I remember that was a tough recovery for senior year.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

And yeah, we still like to see that footage is probably somewhere in your. In your dad's attic, so hopefully you can find it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So enjoy the episode. We appreciate everybody listening to our show for the last 12 years. And there's a little Best of.

[Pete Corrielli]

Got to get into this. I can't believe you got a dog, man. So how long have you had it, first of all?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Six weeks.

[Pete Corrielli]

Six weeks?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Six weeks. It's, it's, it's.

[Pete Corrielli]

Who's training it?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

There's a guy that comes over, knew it visit that.

[Pete Corrielli]

Is it that guy, what's his name, who does the dogs? Yes. Probably season one.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's not season he stays for dinner. It's this guy that comes over and I gotta tell you, it's amazing what this guy does with the dog. It's hard to implement what he's doing on. On our own because it's, you know, it's work.

[Pete Corrielli]

Right, Work.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

He's doing the thing. He's. The dog's going through his legs. He's got the treat. But the dog is extremely intelligent. Yeah, it sits. It stays still pissing, you know, every once in a while, gets excited, he'll pee on. On the floor. But that's. That's not a big problem. Obviously loves Lana. I feel like when I get up and he sees me, you know, like, I feel like because I'm not around, I'm almost like a stranger in the house to him because I've been working so much. He sees me come home.

[Pete Corrielli]

You got a male or a female?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Male. His name is Luigi.

[Pete Corrielli]

Luigi. I love it. Listen His. That's great. That was on our short list, dude.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

Your dog knows, because mine's a male, too. It knows that you're the alpha, so it can sense this guy comes home, and everybody's different, excited, and also on edge, you know? So.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So you think the dog is. Is receptive to the fact that I am kind of master of the domain?

[Pete Corrielli]

Absolutely. Absolutely. And. And as time goes on, it's gonna. Before you know it, dude, it's. First of all, it's still a puppy. That's why it's probably biting you and you grab it sometimes. I'll take my dog. I've been fake trying, like, a tight lion. Rip his jaws open. They love it. She's chewing. He's. Yeah, he's just gonna plop down on that couch next to you one night, and you're gonna be like, it's over. I love you more than the kids.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. Alana holds the dog in her arm, and the dog stares at me while she's doing it because she's like, he's so cute. He looks at me and goes, it's where you used to be. I feel like he's taken over. Like, Lana is, like, really into him. Right. I'm not so much, man. I don't know. That's.

[Pete Corrielli]

Now at night, my dog comes up and it sits right in between us, and it always cuddles up with Jackie. And this might be an edit, but sometimes when I, like, try to cuddle with my dog or, like, I brought it with me once on the road to Syracuse and. And brought in the bed and I had no shirt on, and, like, I go to cuddle with the dog. I feel because I used to have a cock, a spaniel. I was a female, that my dog Duke is like, this is a little gay. I feel like it knows we're both males and that. And that. This isn't what I get from you, guy, and this isn't what you get from me. All right? I do that with your wife. Back the fuck off. Would you put your shirt on? Throw me a ball. All right. What, are you gonna bang me? Jesus. So I feel like that's what your dog is with you. It knows.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

Like, if you pet it, it would be like, what's this about? What are you about to hit me? Trying to cushion the blow.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So, yeah, no, we're working out the kinks with this thing. Yeah. So you know me being Italian, right? I'm like, all right, feed the thing. Like, apparently it just eats in the morning and at Night. And it eats at a rate that is devastating. I mean, I don't know if you have this, but we don't have a bowl for them. It's a maze that you put the food can you pack it in the maze so it's. They don't eat so fast. They have to kind of lick it out of this, oh, maze thing. Oh, I don't know if my wife got soaked into buying one of these things. But anyway, it eats. Within I don't. Two and a half minutes, the thing is gone, right? And I go give the thing some more food.

[Pete Corrielli]

Starving, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Like in the morning, does your dog run out of the cage or, or wherever it comes from to eat like a animal?

[Pete Corrielli]

Whole house, by the way, got a cage.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, I mean, it's.

[Pete Corrielli]

No, I know. No, no, I only feed it once at night. And so during the day, like I give it a treat, but I only feed it once at night. And you know, and of course that puppy would eat it, eat. And then one day, you know, walks away from the food, it don't want it. And you know, I used to, you have that moment like, oh, I said, why is it I need the food? And Jackie gets like that, why isn't I needing? But my father in law is like, he goes, I've had dogs. I put it down. You either go eat it. If you don't eat it within 10 minutes, it's gone and you're not eating again until this time tomorrow. And then when tomorrow comes, he goes, he'll eat it. And then the next day, scoffs that shit down. So like, you know, it's like not a human man. I'm sorry. Just keep that in mind. It's not a human. I put the food down. I don't even what this machine is.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's a plate with a maze in it. So it's, it's recessed. So you put the foot the food. So he doesn't like, he, he literally eats the food in a bowl. Within 53 seconds, it's great. It's gone. And he's looking around going, is it now?

[Pete Corrielli]

You're like me though. You never had a dog growing up. So this is all new to you, all new. So you ever just find yourself staring at it like, well, there's one point.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I thought the thing was dying, right? I didn't, I didn't know this. He was like, he'd walk around and go, I go, what the going on? I thought I told my mom. I go, is this the thing dying? She goes, no, Sometimes you know, they got something caught or whatever. I go, yeah, but this is a little too aggressive for something caught, right? So there's things the dog does that.

[Pete Corrielli]

Even if it's sick, like with some sort of illness that we gotta. I want my money back.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I wanna.

[Pete Corrielli]

I wanna. Healthy, right? Like, like, you know, what's the. I knew someone had a dog and it died of cancer within a year.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's like, how do you know the dog's sick?

[Pete Corrielli]

What?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

How do you know the dog is sick?

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, if it's not eating, if it's not moving around, if it's lethargic, you know, I mean, all the, all the things that you love when a dog does are also. Also the things that make it sick. But I, like, that's the question, though. Like, if it. If something happened to a God forbid now, would you go back to the person you bought off of and be like, listen, I mean, I don't want to be tacky, but this thing didn't even make it three months. I mean, I got. I gotta. I gotta put that on you a little bit there.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, it is an animal, right? Right. You do purchase it. Yeah. So how do you feel about someone calling you a dog dad? Yeah, that, bro.

[Pete Corrielli]

What? I never heard that until you just said that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, apparently it's a California thing.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, when they see you with the.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Dog, dad, now I'm like, I'm a father to my kids. I bought the dog, right? Yeah. I didn't buy my kids. You know what I'm saying?

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

How you be a dad to a dog when it's 4, 500, you know what I'm saying?

[Pete Corrielli]

Come out of my wife. Right? Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So, yeah, I'm. It's getting his shots today, and now we're going to be able to take it out amongst other dogs. But here's something for you. My dog is. He mounted. He mounted this dog in the neighborhood unexpectedly. I. I didn't know. Like.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, yeah, they.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

They want to. They want to. Yeah, yeah. Did you neuter that spaniel you had?

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah. No, no, the spaniel. Yeah, the spaniel. I did. I did. And now my dog now has known he took his balls off.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So there's a debate whether or not you do this or not. Did you notice a difference when you chopped the nuts off? Was. Did he lose the, you know, his aggressiveness and his personality?

[Pete Corrielli]

Nah, I didn't notice a personality change. But he doesn't, like, try to bang anything. Well, he doesn't rub up against it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Because he can't He's.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, that's gone. That's the sky. Jackie's like. She's like. When I'm at someone's house and their dog rubs itself up, like, because it wants to bang me or something, she's like. I'm like, that's the grossest. It's. It's tacky.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, I feel a little white trash on it. I kind of felt bad that you're.

[Pete Corrielli]

Gonna get the balls taken off, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't know if we are.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, my.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't know if I want to do that to the guy.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, my God. I mean, you're not doing anyone any favors keeping him on. He wouldn't even know what he's missing, bro. I wish I didn't have mine. My life would have been a lot easier.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, Bob Barker reminding you, help control the pet population, have your pets spade or neutered.

[Pete Corrielli]

Goodbye, everybody.

[Sponsor Announcer]

The Pete and Sebastian show this podcast is brought to you by Aura, the most complete online safety toolkit. 2024 has seen a massive surge in high profile data breaches, raising serious concerns about the security of your personal information. Dell's breach exposed 3.9 million customer records. And Ticketmaster also faced a massive breach, compromising over 560 million records. And most alarming of all, this past summer, National Public Data reported a breach potentially affecting every Single Amendment American. 2.9 billion records used for background checks were stolen and released to the public for free. If this all sounds pretty scary, it's because it is. You've never been more vulnerable in the digital world than you are right now. But before I keep spouting dark statistics and grim news stories, I'll share some positive news. This podcast is thrilled to partner with Aura, who monitors the dark web for users phone numbers, emails and and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. And even better than that, Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance, making sure you have a safety net in the event of a worst case scenario. Aura is a complete online safety toolkit which includes a variety of other features to keep you safe online. They have a VPN for secure browsing. They even have a password manager to help you create and store strong passwords and more. I've already started all my holiday shopping for my friends and family and I can rest easy knowing that Aura has my back. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free. When you visit aura.com defense. That's aura.com defense. To sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and and your loved ones once more. That's a u r a.com defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check their site for details.

[Pete Corrielli]

This episode is brought to you by Allstate. Some people just know they could save.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like, you know, to check the date of the big game first before you.

[Pete Corrielli]

Accidentally buy tickets on your 20th wedding.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Anniversary and have to spend the next.

[Pete Corrielli]

20 years of your marriage making up for it. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check all Allstate first for a.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Quote that could save you hundreds.

[Pete Corrielli]

You're in good hands with Allstate Savings. Vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Trying to get used to the dog life, that whole thing. Yeah, I think. I think we were lied to about the dog.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, really?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. This thing keeps growing. They're like, no, it's gonna be. It's gonna be about 18, 19 pounds. And I'm like, this thing is like. I go to line, I go, this thing might be as big as a German shepherd. By the time this. It's all over with.

[Pete Corrielli]

Are you feeding it normal or is it getting at some of the food scraps and stuff?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, we don't do scraps. You know, like, listen, nice. I was told that don't feed the dog from the table. Don't give it scraps. It's gonna like, bag and this and that. He gets his food and that's that. But I feel sorry for him. The amount of food that we give him or that we were instructed to give him. In my eyes, it's not enough.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's not enough.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Poor thing.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Starve. I'm looking at going, half a cup of food, half a cup of a dog food. He eats it. Within, I mean, seconds, it's gone. Right? And he's lick. He's licking around. Like, he's looking around the bowl to see if any fell out on the floor that he. That he missed.

[Pete Corrielli]

All right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Licking the. Yeah, look at the whole thing. He's looking back up at me after he's done and going, that's it. Where's the rest, bro? So.

[Pete Corrielli]

And once a day, you feed it too?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Twice in the morning and at night. I think he might get a lunch in there. Yeah, I gotta look.

[Pete Corrielli]

With ours, we do one.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

One feeding a day.

[Pete Corrielli]

One feeding a day. They tell us you could. You could break it up. Two small ones like you're probably doing a one feeding a day, but same thing. Dog licks everything, eats it too, and just gives you that look. And I'm looking back like 24 hours. I mean, I give it a couple treats here and there, I give it a jerk stick in the morning and blah, blah, blah. But like, overall, yeah. And I, I could see a first time dog owner. You're going, the thing is starving. It's looking for nuggets on the ground.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So I was making, I was making steak last night and he's looking right at me. I have to. It's not a thing. I have to look around and I just throw. I just throw a piece of steak in his vicinity.

[Pete Corrielli]

Right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So I got something to tell you. I. What the hell did I give him? Oh, what did I give him? That was red. I heard you could give him apples. Me, a dog? An apple?

[Pete Corrielli]

I never. A horse, an apple? Never. I never had a dog that liked apples.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What the hell did I give the dog that? I was like, hey, is this good? I was giving him a little. Oh, this might have been a bad one.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I gave him a little watermelon.

[Pete Corrielli]

Holy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Could you look up watermelon? Is that good for dogs? Listen, I was slicing up a watermelon. It was so delicious. He was looking at me and I gave me the. Look around. Hey, there's a little. Hey, dog. But they're. Hold on. Is watermelon good for dogs? Not only can your dog eat watermelon, but it can make a refreshing hydrated treat. Okay, I was on the right track now, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The day I gave watermelon. We got him out of his cage the next morning and he. The cage there was everywhere, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Like, what the. You know, he's never shit like that. And then I said, oh, there's red in the. Right. There's red, right? And I go, I go, you might have ate a little watermelon yesterday that fell on the floor and I couldn't get it. Now these are little white lies, and Lana doesn't lie.

[Pete Corrielli]

Absolutely.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But these are little white lies that he had watermelon. I just skirted around how he got it.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I feel like, I feel like it's almost you're being honest. The important part is, you know why it's shit because of watermelon. How honest am I? I could have said, I have no idea. But I'm throwing you a bone with a half honesty. You know what I'm saying? I do those all the time. I got a scratch on the old Tahoe, I told Jackie I got keyed in Walmart parking lot. I felt so guilty about it, I bought her a new Tahoe. I was like, fucking Walmart. Can't go anywhere in that fucking thing. I think I know the sign that I backed into and did it. Cause I literally went back, is at the doctor's office a week later, I took the Tahoe back to where I thought it happened, and I aligned the Tahoe with the sign and it matched the scratch level to level. And I'm like, that's it. That's where I think I did it. But again, bottom line is, you know, it's dumb. We'll take care of it. And the same thing with you. This is watermelon. It's a little white lie. Now, I like your move in that you tell your whole family, don't give this thing anything from the table, right? It's just dog food only. And then on the slide, you got a nice little relationship going with the dog. You should do that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

They told me that, like, listen, if it was up to me, I would have the dog at the table eating with me, right? That's where I'm at with this thing. Like, get up here and let's have some pasta, right? Yeah, that's Rob. Yeah, but, you know, Lot is so strict with, like, okay, he has, you know, one meal and then. And then he has, like, look, you know, I got them little hot dog snacks. You know, I give him. I give him that. He's very food motivated. He's the dog, does anything for food, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

So do you. So that works out, guys. No, but seriously, you falling in love. I feel like you've fallen in love, man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I've turned the corner with the dog.

[Pete Corrielli]

Have you kissed it yet? Like, right, like, right on the. Like right on the snout.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

French. But I mean, like, he. I give him not yet guy. I do a thing where I get him. I get him going right here. I get this going, right? And then he gives me a couple licks on the cheek. Wow.

[Pete Corrielli]

That'S huge for you. That's very Germatious, man. There's a lot of, like, you know, for you to allow a dog to do that. You're falling in love.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, no, I've definitely warmed up to the fact that we have a beautiful little animal in the house. However, I want to feed it more.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah. Rubbing the belly underneath.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No. Yeah, Yeah, I do. He lays down at night, and then he sees me, and he just kind of gives me a. Just almost as if he was Saying, just rub me a little bit right here. That's all I need, right? So I get down, I do a little rub on the belly. But when it comes to the food, a lot of times I'm eating alone and I want somebody else to enjoy what I'm enjoying, right? Like I'm in the water, I'm eating the watermelon. When you eat watermelon and it's sweet and you got nobody to tell. Yeah. It's lonely, right? So if nobody's in the kitchen and he's looking at me, I'll go. I'll just go, taste how sweet this is, right? Taste how sweet.

[Pete Corrielli]

You know how. And then he's fucking with my dog, throwing up blood. But you could. You can tell how much you love what you gave him by how quick he pops back up to see if there's any more of that shit, right? Give me that. Look. I also. Do you do this yet? I have it on its belly. This is a little. And I do the pet, like what you're saying. I'm up by the chest area. I'll come down the whole body, and when I get to the penis, I do a finger slide around the penis.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So I'm coming die.

[Pete Corrielli]

You're a week away. A week away from doing.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't even go past the midsection. I don't even want to go down.

[Pete Corrielli]

For the first three months either, bro. I didn't either. But then I'm like, why am I denying them the full brush down? I'm telling you especially no. My dog's got no balls.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, no, I'm. I'm not. I'm the. The dog's keeping his nuts. That's him.

[Pete Corrielli]

Are you serious?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Why? Why not? I'm gonna deprive the guy of hormones.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's gonna start humping the kids legs and stuff. Oh, my God, this dog walking its balls. You're gonna be playing bocce ball, sipping espressos with this fucking thing in a month. I mean, Jesus Christ. It's not your friend, bro. It's an animal. Get the balls cut off. Stop giving it watermelon. I'm gonna come over. Luigi's gonna be flipping burgers, talking. Hey, pda.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Tell you an airplane story. Before I forget, recently I had some blood work done. Prior to me getting the blood work, they gave me almost like a sugar water to see how I metabolize sugar over 90 minutes. So they drew my blood every half hour. Shortly after that, I get. I have. I have a flight now. I was a little. I didn't I didn't have anything in my stomach. I took a banana to go. Right. So on. On my way onto the airplane, I get an attack in my stomach that I need to go to the bathroom right away. So I'm the first one on the airplane, Right. Woman's like, she's a fan. Big fan of you. Oh, thank you. I put the thing up. I go, I need to use a bathroom. I go into the bathroom and I don't. I don't like bathroom humor. I don't. I don't. I'm just telling you a story here, bro. Horrific. I mean, it was one of those where I don't think we're going to be able to take off. Right.

[Pete Corrielli]

No one's even on the plane.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No one's on the plane yet. And I'm in there. I don't know if you've ever pulled this move. You feel like if you let it out, you go flush it right away. Maybe it. I go, do the flush, flush. Don't work.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And as soon as that happens, I go, there's no way I could leave this in here. There's no way.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, my God. Was there part of you, like, maybe it doesn't. The toilet don't work till he starts the plane.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's what I'm thinking. This guy didn't even start the plane yet. Nothing works.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, this is like not being able to put your window down till your parents start to call. Oh, my. And now they're coming on. Now people coming on a plane.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

It probably smells. Oh, well. Oh, my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It. It was one of those where you're in your own stench and you got a problem with it. Oh, my. Like this. This. This ain't me.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm. No. So I get up, they have that sanitizer that's foam. I load it up about this high foam, and I throw it on it. I'm thinking, this will mask the smell. Right?

[Pete Corrielli]

Smart.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Right?

[Pete Corrielli]

Yes. Yes.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But I'm staying in there longer than I should be. Like, even the flight attendant, I'm going, what is this guy doing in there?

[Pete Corrielli]

Right, Right. Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So there's a point where I gotta exit.

[Pete Corrielli]

You gotta.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I gotta. I gotta. I gotta exit. So I'm sitting there just. I'm just sitting there waiting. Finally, I hear something. I go, flush. It flushes.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I look in the corner, and this is a little pro tip for those listening. I've never seen this. All the flights I've ever taken, I've never seen this in the corner, there's an air freshener that you could take out. I popped it out. There's a little air drop. The little. Like an eyedropper. I start eyedropping the whole bathroom with this air. Air freshener. Right.

[Pete Corrielli]

Beautiful. Now that's what this is for.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

You don't get this on other kids. You don't get this on other. Did you know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Did you know they had an air freshener? No, I had no idea. No idea. So now my question to you is, right, I'm gonna come out. Do you act like nothing happened in there, or do you start talking to the flight attendant right away? Because the flight attendant, they're there in the galley greeting everybody. I'm gonna have to pass her. Yeah, yeah. I come out of the bathroom right away, I hit her with, is there any Internet on this flight? Like, yeah, that's it. That's it.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's it. That's it. Nothing happened in there. Exactly.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

There's no way he's gonna ask me if there's Internet if he's in there.

[Pete Corrielli]

Right? No, Right. Exactly. Must. That.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That must have had something in his eye. That's what. That's what I'm thinking. She thought, oh, he must have been looking at his eye.

[Pete Corrielli]

Right, Right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Because there's no way you take a dump like that and worried about Internet right after.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So she's like, yeah, yeah. As soon as we take off.

[Pete Corrielli]

You also gotta remember, too, you're a flight attendant to say to your friends at a party, some guy is the first one on a plane. Then he went number two. It was so gross. Not much of a story. Sebastian Maniscalco got on the plane before everybody else and he took a dump. And then he came out and asked me if we had Internet. Now that's a. Give me another bx, Sidney.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But, I mean, what do you. What do you do? Or do you come out maybe? Or do you come out and go, listen, I don't know if we're gonna be able to take off after that.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Do you make a joke about it?

[Pete Corrielli]

No. You do what you did. You do what you did. And I don't, like, listen, you don't bring up smells to the person causing the smell. Okay? It's like. And the pet peeve I have as a pot smoker, it just happened the other day, right? It's freaking Friday. A couple of weeks ago. I'm on my stupid, like, 6:30 at night. Someone's walking by, and a neighbor I know, and you go, I'm having a. Dope Smells good. Amateur. Amateur. Like, like, who is that for? What is what? What is any of that shit?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

So same thing with you. That lady, I'm sure she came out and smelled something, you know, like I know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, right now, the way I left that bathroom was nicer than when I walked in. I don't know if you've ever done this before.

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, that's what I mean. But then she knows also.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

She knows. You know, she knows. Wow, this guy cares, but doesn't.

[Pete Corrielli]

Air freshener. When a man comes out of a bathroom and I smell air freshener, it grosses me out as much as if I smelled because I know he just. Shit.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Not this. That's. If you would have smelt what I did in there and I didn't mask it, you would have fucking.

[Pete Corrielli]

Then why did you come out and ask for Internet right away?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

To fuck him up to her brain somewhere else. Like, she was like, she's probably going to go, oh, I wonder what he did. Do you have Internet? Like, oh. Looking for a pickup truck to get just about anything done? Look no further. The Chevy Silverado EV isn't just the most powerful silver Silverado ever with next level towing capability and technology. It also offers game changing versatility with the available multiflex mid, gate and tailgate. Which means. Silverado EV helps you carry large, bulky and oddly shaped items up to nearly 11ft in length. Chevrolet Together, let's drive. Visit Chevrolet.com to learn more.

[Pete Corrielli]

This episode is brought to you by United Airlines.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

When you want to make the most.

[Pete Corrielli]

Of your vacation, book with United. They're an airline that cares about your travels as much as you do.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

United is transforming the flying experience with.

[Pete Corrielli]

Bluetooth connectivity, screens, power at every seat, and bigger overhead bins to help fit everyone's bag. And with their app, you can skip the bag check line, get live updates and more. Change the way you fly. Book your next trip [e-mail] I'm wondering if you love Stu soon.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't even know if we just. We eliminate the pleasantries and we got. We're diving into this ladder.

[Pete Corrielli]

I don't know though. Let's not. Listen, we got a lot to get into today. You just finished season two of the show and you got to take a better look at that letter because, guy, you're missing time out. I thought I sent the letter and everyone who commented, you were the only one who didn't comment. And I thought because you were the only one wise enough to really read it and see what was, what's, what's going on here, and it's. It's a bigger picture than what that letter is. It was a whole big deal. But re. Read it. Look at the top wording what you take.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Bro, you're getting kicked out of the community.

[Pete Corrielli]

I can't believe you've.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You.

[Pete Corrielli]

You think it's authentic? I got by a cast listener, bro. The came from Denver. It me up all weekend. Jackie was ready to move. I had to send it to my lawyer. He's like, gay. I don't mean time. But it's a fugazi, bro. It's a bigger picture we gotta discuss, bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Hold on, hold on. I'm. My mind's blown.

[Pete Corrielli]

Of old people. I'm like, oh, he ain't commenting.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, walk me through this. How does this get to the how? Just give me. Give me the. Give me how this goes down.

[Pete Corrielli]

Let's fill in the listings before we go any further. It's a letter seemingly from my town who's had enough of some of the things that have gone on in my town because of me. I don't know. Do I read it or do we just tell them?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You have to read the letter.

[Pete Corrielli]

Okay, so this is the letter. I was on the road in Connecticut and Jackie called me. I was in the green room Friday night. I got the mail. You're never gonna believe what's in there. I mean, we gotta get out of here, Pete. So the top of the letter says Village of Fredonia, New York. Board of Trustees of the Village of Fredonia on the address. Dear Mr. Corieli, we hope this letter finds you well. As residents of the village of Fredonia, New York, we are writing to you with a matter of concern that has been brewing within our community over the past few months. There have been numerous complaints regarding your behavior that we feel compelled to address. Firstly, there was an alarming incident involving you threatening the local dive coach. Such behavior I gotta put on. I'm sorry, man. Just. Let's just do it. Call what it is. Gotta put it on. Such behavior is completely unacceptable and has understandably caused distress among residents. Furthermore, that has been several occasions where you refuse to where your refuge use has pickup has included unacceptable trash, causing inconvenience and creating a nuisance for your neighbors. This is not only reflective poorly on you, but also disrupts the peace and cleanliness of our village. Moreover, various incidents involving your interactions with neighbors and local residents have been reported wrangling from confrontations to disturbances. Such behavior fosters a sense of unease and tension within our close knit Community. Most recently, your conduct at the town meeting where the renovation of a local building to house migrant workers was discussed was highly inappropriate. Your disruptive behavior not only hindered constructive dialogue, but also displayed a lack of respect for the concerns and opinions of your fellow residents. Given the cumulative impact of these incidents, we urge you to seriously consider the effectiveness your actions on the community. It is evident that your behavior is causing discomfort and unease among the residents of Fredonia. We believe that it would be in everyone's best interest, including yours, to contemplate the possibility of finding a more suitable environment where your actions align better with the expectations of community living. We sincerely hope that you will take this letter into consideration and reflect on how you will be. Behavior affects those around you. Our village thrives on mutual respect, understanding and cooperation. And we believe that with the right approach, we can foster a harmonious environment for all residents. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Sincerely. And it's signed, Village of Fredonia, New York. All right. Right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

When I read that, I have to admit, my first thought. My first thought was, this fucking guy's a liability. Like, to you, if this get just in general, if this gets out that you got kicked out of a city.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This could cause major repercussions not only for your career, but your family. I mean, I've never heard of anybody getting kicked out of a city before because. Because they yelled at the diving coach.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's like the Wild west in the 1880s, right? And don't let me see your face around here again, son. Holy shit. But number three, listen, first of all, that's illegal, right? I mean, even when I read it, I was like, you can't. You can't threaten me to leave the community. That's insane, right? I mean, we all got together and so. And Jackie was just like, we gotta move. This is crazy. You know, people are pissed off. I mean, I just gonna reflect on Sadie. I mean, how you think they're treating Sadie differently because of all the stuff that you do, right? But I'm like, I know people like, like me too, man. You know, I mean, I just. I got another story about that later, but so I go, I gotta go. I gotta go on stage. I go, but let me send it to my lawyer. He's my buddy who's a lawyer, but he represents one firm. But we joke that he's my lawyer. He's the cast lawyer, Ray. And he takes a look at it and he goes, send it my way. I'm not gonna lie. I had a few beers, man. I'VE been drinking. We're at a barbecue. But I look at it and he writes me back and he's like, bro, this is fucking fake. I don't think this is real. I mean, I think one of your cast listeners is pulling one over on you. So I got off stage and I said, jack, he thinks it's fake. I mean, it is kind of vague, you know what I mean? I go, and you can get the lady's signature. So then Jackie calls me the next morning and she goes, I got the envelope. I dug it out of the garbage because she had thrown out the envelope. And it's postmarked from Denver. Now, if you're mailing something from our village, we live down the block. Why would it go all the way to Denver? So. And now that's where we're at. Now I'm like, this thing has got to be fake, all right? I didn't even bother calling the town clerk because I think she'd be like, oh, are you kidding me? We sent you a letter to leave town.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This throws a whole other. I thought this was signed, sealed, delivered. You called the woman at the village. She goes, no, we didn't send that letter. There's a possibility that this thing is real.

[Pete Corrielli]

There is, but there isn't. Guy. I thought. Listen, I thought, first of all, I'd show it to you. And I was thinking you might treat it the way in the past cast. Like when I got scammed with a guy's like, write a check and take it to Walmart. Or the time I got the guy on the computer, Steve, and you're like, oh, my God, bro. So I thought you were gonna go do one of those, like, oh, my God. Yeah, they mailed you a letter telling you to leave town. You can't, you know, but the fact that you're not is, like, either. You're getting, you know, the ageism that we're all seeing with our own eyes on a daily basis. I think my dad might be hitting you and you're losing your senses because you're buying it. I mean, and who puts a big. On the top, up on the top. Fredonia. Just listen to the beginning again, man. As residents of the village of Fredonia, New York, we are writing to you. Who is the residents of the village of Fredonia? What are you, a club? Are you a book club? What the fuck, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Listen, maybe they got together.

[Pete Corrielli]

Listen, it's the middle of the day right now. You want to. If we can get. I'll give you the number. We want these Guys, to call the town clerk. Live on right now and find out if she sent this shit. We can do it, but I think we'll be embarrassed.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Maybe she was on a trip in Denver, had some time on her vacation, and go, let me get the. Let me get rid of this fucking guy.

[Pete Corrielli]

And she says, as residents of Fredonia, that sounds like Declaration of independence signing. You know, it is like 20 people leaning over going, yeah, put a period there, capitalize that. Definitely let him know, like, why would she go to Denver and then write this on behalf of the whole town? Did she. Did they give her notes? Here's the. Here's the thing. This is what happened, bro. And I'm surprised at you. I'm surprised at you. This is my assumption, which I'm sticking with, because if I. If there's no way. If they sent me that, I would get a lawyer and I'd sue to town and I would make them pay for me to move and either buy my home off of me or, you know, wait for me to move in.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What's the lawsuit, bro?

[Pete Corrielli]

You're threatening me? You're threatening me? That, Bro, you're at a bar and a wise guy walks in and says, you might want to consider drinking somewhere else.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, is that a threat? Goodbye.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's a threat. That's a threat. That's what the town is saying in that letter to me and my family collectively. Collectively. You know what I'm saying?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I think with the way the letters. The way the letter is written, it's basically telling you, listen, our town was a peaceful place where people could raise a family, and now you're raining havoc amongst our residences, our residents, and maybe you should consider drinking somewhere else where bar fights are appropriate. That's basically what they're saying.

[Pete Corrielli]

Okay, you look at it that way. I look at it as all I'm asking you to do is to clean your lines. Because every time someone gets a draft beer in your bar, it turns, we're getting sick and we're tired of this shit. And I know it's expensive and it sucks to have to upgrade and get better, but trust me on the back end, look at it. We're already. The whole country's already talking about Fredonia. I put you on the map and I didn't even tackle the goddamn logo. Hillbillies. That'll be done by the time my daughter's in eighth grade, I guarantee you that. Done with that shit. Calling us the hillbillies. That's the team logo. Anyone new to the cast? If you go To Fredonia. We'll call the Hillbillies. And it's a guy missing a tooth who looks like he just got out of the woods. All right, so that's our logo. That'll get you an academic scholarship.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

If the Vatican was smart and they wanted to keep membership up, they would do a casting call for the Pope. Similar. Like, you do a moot for a movie, so you get a guy like Tom Cruise as the Pope. The Vatican sales go through the roof. I don't even know why the Vatican's not doing merch, you know? Like, why aren't they doing merchandising, you know? Like, come on. I think the system's antiquated. They're hoping on donations at the church pews that the nation's been dwindling for the last 25, 30 years and just open it up with the priests to have them have a family. Enough with this. What, is the guy gonna go back to the rectory and sit there and watch Netflix, give them a family?

[Pete Corrielli]

No, I like that. I like that commitment. It makes it. It's like, that's.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, no. What commitment? You're shrinking the pool of people that even want to do that.

[Pete Corrielli]

First of all.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Open it up.

[Pete Corrielli]

We should. We could do this, by the way. We should. We do image consulting for the church. Number one thing you got to do is take a huge collective knee, bow your head as a religion, and admit what happened with all these priests and little boys and let us know. You clean that shit. There's no more asbestos. We got all of it out. Right? So that's all gone. And was so sorry. That was fucking nuts. Okay, then what you're saying. And this could be a movie. You got to go find a young charismatic dude like you said, right? Just someone that, like, every woman wants to sleep with and every man wants to have a beer with. Fake. A couple miracles. Pop them in, right? You know, it's a movie, man. You know what I mean? Just have it all be fake, but at the highest level and just get a guy that makes people want to come back and be a part of this thing, you know? And grow it. Grow it out. Throw it out from the top.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Bro. I love where you're headed. The only thing you're missing here is give this guy a hot wife and two beautiful kids, right? And have this guy tour, you know, bring. Bring him and lose. I'm sorry to say this, and I know there's going to be traditionalists out there. Lose the white robe and shit like that. Let's exchange it for Tom Ford's.

[Pete Corrielli]

You're changing it to Scientology? Have a wife, have kids, come out in jeans. What the fuck, bro? The whole thing has got to be. I'm a virgin. I don't. My whole love is with God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It ain't working, man. It ain't working. Give him the pontiff. Keep. Keep the Pontiff on. He does it. You know, he's got the beautiful black suit, and then you bring the hat in on. On Sunday, you take the hat off, and then you go out and have a beautiful fucking spaghetti dinner with your family, and people are going, holy shit, the Pope's here. Why isn't the Pope out at Carbone.

[Pete Corrielli]

If you're gonna do it that way? I'll be a priest. I mean, that sounds like fun.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. We need guys like us in the church to bring people back. Can you imagine? Did you see Coriolis Sermon at Noon? I mean, people would be fucking fighting to get into church.

[Pete Corrielli]

Can I drop F bombs on top of that, man? Like, whatever.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The membership is down. We need it all.

[Pete Corrielli]

Holy. Oh, God, I'm dying. Oh, my God. Yeah. And I. I. To your point, the Pope did not help his. The cause at all. That did not look pleasant. It looked militant. Now I'm finding you had to pay your own way. I mean, Jesus, you pull it up in an Uber to shake this guy's hand. I want to. Want to vote, you know, Nothing to it anymore.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm telling you. I'm telling you, brother, there's a whole new thing here that the Vatican is missing with the Pope. And, you know, get rid of the Popemobile. I don't know if you remember that thing, right? You sit on top, and it's, like, enclosed in glass. Put the Pope in a Ferrari and let him go down. Right down Main street in Rome. I mean, come on. Pope's here. Why isn't the Pope going to places as a president does? Oh, the President's coming to eat at our deli.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah. No, you got a point. And I find that it seems the royal family in England is more popular and, like, if they went out and about, than the Pope. You know what I'm saying? It seems like more people would be into seeing Kate Middleton, Princess Kate, in the lobby of a hotel than the Pope.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's why the Pope should be at the super bowl in a skybox. How nice would that be to pan like, oh, look at who's here. Pope John Paul II having a beer with the owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, bro, you're cheapening it now. You're cheapening it. If you told me he's going to, like, descend down onto the field from up above in the white gown, bless us all, go back up into the catwalk, and a helicopter takes him back to the Vatican, I'm in for that. But, you know, he's. He's leading the wave from the skybox. Is that what you're telling me? You know, jeez, he's doing this. What a disaster. Look, now you're begging for votes. Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Does the Pope have an Instagram page? Does he got his own? How many followers do you think the Pope's got on Instagram?

[Pete Corrielli]

How many Catholics are in the world, man? Oh, on Instagram.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

I don't follow him. Do you follow him? Does he do it?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No.

[Pete Corrielli]

Does he even have a thing?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I follow Kim Kardashian, though.

[Pete Corrielli]

I follow Tom Cruise. Not really, but I should, now that I say that, I gotta see what Tommy's doing.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

All right, we got the number. We got the number. What do you think?

[Pete Corrielli]

How many followers he has?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

I'm Putting it at 17 mil.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Nine.

[Pete Corrielli]

Nine mil. How many does Taylor Swift have?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

283 million. Pope's got nine. Oh, my God.

[Pete Corrielli]

He is supposed to have what she has. Like, there should be Catholics in the Himalayan mountains once a week, just doing a scroll on Instagram. What's the Pope's got to say about it? It's. Nobody even cares about that guy anymore.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Because he's not out at a restaurant or at the Super Bowl.

[Pete Corrielli]

I don't know. I. I disagree. I just think he doesn't have. He. He was not born to be the Pope. I'm sorry I'm saying that I'm Catholic, but I just feel like I don't feel the calling with this guy. I don't feel like there was a calling with this guy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, that's your thing. I just think put this guy in a different outfit.

[Pete Corrielli]

I felt more in the presence of Holiness interviewing Andy Garcia than I would be. Like, he carried himself like a Pope. The pinky with the thing. That's the level of class I expect from my Pope with the pleasant smile. I'm not gonna lie to you, bro. There were times in the middle of hanging with Garcia, maybe because he reminded me of my dad a little. I'm like, I wouldn't mind popping up and just giving him a big hug and sit back down just for myself, you know? Like, he's just, like a likable guy, the Pope looks like. Keep the Uber running. This ain't gonna take long.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, a guy like Garcia, that's what I'm saying about casting the Pope. You get to that age, maybe. Maybe some of the roles aren't, you know, coming in like they used to. And his agent calls him up and goes, listen, they're casting for the pope. You win four years, you play the Pope.

[Pete Corrielli]

What do you think every Sunday after you do mass, you can go play in the band somewhere locally, and everyone comes out and watch the pope play. They love the music. Now, see, he would make. That's what I'm saying. We need a pope of Andy Garcia ilk. You know what I mean? The kind of Pope where you go, you see a photo of the pope lately? Grew his hair out, looks fantastic. I think he's going. I think he's going with that. What? I'm using it right now, actually. Got it right here, bro. Moroccan oil, bro. Moroccan. I go heavy. Moroccan oil, heavy. I don't even do a little bottle. Four pumps. Take you back. Take you back.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I want to take you back to a dinner I had with another couple. Lana and I, and another couple went out to dinner. This couple is in their 70s, okay? Never went out to dinner with them before. I can't tell you who the guy is, but I've never seen a dinner go quite like this. Lana and I, when we sit down at a restaurant, we kind of talk about the menu. What do you see over there? I was thinking of maybe getting the mozzarella caprese salad to start. Maybe you want clams? I don't know. It's a discussion, right? And we generally don't order everything right away. We generally get a couple appetizers because I feel after the appetizer, I don't know, I might feel like something else. I don't want to put the order in and be married to the entree, because I might feel different after I eat all the apps.

[Pete Corrielli]

Wow, bro, you're blowing my mind. I've never heard of that. I mean, I hear that, and I think, oh, my God, whisper to Jackie. We're never gonna get the fuck out of here. I mean, yeah. I want you to see me take my last bite of my appetizer, slide that little dish over, boom. Come out with the entree. I mean, as I'm patting the. Patting the French onion soup off my lips, you. You want to re. Re. See the menu, because the baked clams change your mood. Holy. You're a foodie, bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Put it this way. I might really love the appetizer and If I have already ordered a steak, I'm thinking by the time I get done with these appetizers, there's no way I'm gonna pound a steak. I might want to fish now. Something a little lighter because I.

[Pete Corrielli]

True.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Because I killed the apps. So I do this move. We're gonna keep the menu. Some restaurants don't allow you to do this. They want you to order all at once. But the restaurants that do, I generally take them up on that option of ordering a few things to the table. Let's wet the beak. Let's see where we're at before we dive into the pool. Right?

[Pete Corrielli]

That's great. I really. I mean, it makes sense because how often do we say, stop eating so much appetizers. You're not going to eat your. Blah, blah, blah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And I like a gap between the appetizers and the entree. I don't want the entree coming right after I eat my last bit of calamari. Give me a break. 20 minutes. Let me reset the. Reset it. We go out with this couple, right? They were there before us. We sit down, and I'm generally. When I sit down at a table and the menu is there, I don't touch the menu. I start talking with the people at the table. It's not like I sit down, open up the menu. What are you guys gonna have? I sit down, nice to see, and then I gradually dive into the. To the menu.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This guy goes. I open up the menu about five minutes in, right? And he goes, what do you want? What are you feeling like? And I go, oh, I don't know. And then the waiter came up and, like, are you guys ready? And he goes, yeah, we'll order. I felt pressured into ordering my entire meal. This guy, this guy, I've never seen the ordering. He's like, yeah, we'll get this, we'll get this. And appetize. That good for you? Yeah, no, that's good. How about pasta? What kind of pasta? I said the waitress, like, the orchetti's good. Okay, we'll do the work. We want meat or fish, I guess. Me, me. We'll get the. Shut the menu. Gone. This shit. This. The pacing of this was aggressive, right? But I kind of liked it because it takes out any, like, hem haul of what you're getting. Because Lana. Lana, especially Lana, tends to like. I don't know. This was like, ordered, done, menus gone. All right, what's next? Food comes out. I started eating, right? And then there was a lull because, you know, I Took a few this, it took a few that. But what I like to do is leave the appetizers on the table, talk, and then all of a sudden I go and I. I graze a little bit. Right? Right. Little salad left. They're putting a little salad on the table. As soon as this was done, fucking picked it up, Gone. Like, waitress came. How's it all going? We're done, we're done. Oh, another move he did, which I kind of like. What do you think of a salad coming to the table and one person taking the initiative to dole out the salad on each plate? So he like served us the salad. Oh, that's nice.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's nice. Everything this guy is doing, though, and knowing you, I'm sure he's very powerful, very successful. So it's not that, but the bottom line, he's in. He's 70 or in his 70s, right? He's on a different time sketch, bro. You're doing things like a man who's 50. He's doing things like a man who's 70, right. I want to be flossing by 8 fucking 30, all right? I want to be in front of my mirror flossing. You know, you want to be looking at Lana going, oh, should we get the miso? You know, desserts. You want to be doing desserts by then, right? It's a different. And your way is fun if you're in good company and it's going to be a long night and all that stuff. And I dig that. But this guy's efficiency, what I like about his style too is you're ordering so fast, you don't even. By the time the food comes down, you don't remember what you ordered. It's like a surprise, you know? And then I'm sure he didn't rush you out afterwards, but he didn't rush you out afterwards. But we could leave at any moment if we want. Now.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What do you think, time wise is an ample time to sit down and have dinner with another couple? Is it an hour, hour and a half, two? What's your time limit?

[Pete Corrielli]

It really varies. If I'm going out with good friends, another couple for a nice meal, I'm thinking between an hour and a half to two hours with some wine, some maybe desserts, espresso, the whole thing. Nice. You know, leave a nice tip. But yeah, if it's more of like a business dinner, I'm thinking hour 15. Ish. It could be rushed. It could be rushed hour 15 to an hour and a half. But, you know, maybe 20 minutes to a half hour shorter. Unless we're hitting it off and taking it beyond business and just really enjoying each other's company, you know, what do you think about that? Like, did you feel it should have lasted longer the evening?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Nah, I tend to, like, really marinate in dinners, you know, like, I'm like at the three hour mark. I think when I go out for.

[Pete Corrielli]

Dinner, you eat like a mafia, don't.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You know what I mean?

[Pete Corrielli]

Literally, you just sit there eating all evening. People bop in, bop out, give you updates. Three hours. Three hours.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Three hours. So we're done with the entrees. And it was delicious. Any room for dessert? Absolutely. He says, bring this and that. Desserts came. Then he pulled a move. That is just a beautiful move, bro. He got up from the table, said, well, tonight's been really, really great. Thank you so much. No Bill, no nothing. I go, whoa, whoa, Bill, don't worry about this thing. He's got it set up where the bill don't come. He pays for it. And on the way out, I pulled this move. What you take? I said, I'm gonna stay. I go, we got a babysitter tonight. I'm gonna stay here. What's your take on going out to dinner with somebody? And if you said, we're gonna go home and I said we're gonna stay, am I obligated to leave the restaurant with you or can I stay?

[Pete Corrielli]

First of all, what was still on the table? Dessert or anything? Was anything still on the table?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Nothing. Table's clear. I said, lon and I are gonna go to the bar, get a drink. And he goes, nah, why don't you just stay at the table? Oh, wow.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah. You know what? It's like alpha male going against alpha male. This guy's like, I'm gonna pay, but I'm gonna keep it on my. I want it done. Then we're all going to get out. And then at the last minute, you hit him when I'm going to stay. You did not see that coming. Nobody hits me with that. We walk out and shake hands after the valet pulls up with the cars. What is this? It's like, what a. What a backhand, bro. It's like. It's like the. The tennis play is over and out of nowhere. You did the hit through. You let. Oh, I just spilled my. You did the hit through your leg. And I got the point. So I like that. I like that move a lot.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So, yeah, we stayed and it was an eye opening dinner. I can't really tell you what was said, but definitely one of those dinners where you're like, wow, I learned a lot. This guy's very precise in his decision making. He doesn't look in the past. He always looking forward. Whatever happened to him in the past, he don't even look at it. He's always looking forward. I'm marinating in the past. This guy is constantly moving forward. Pete Coriali, playing basketball now. Can you set this up? Where, when, when is the high school.

[Pete Corrielli]

What is this? Yes, I got very short clips for Patrick. But the beauty of this, somebody from my high school threw it on, on YouTube recently, and it came to me. This is my last game of my high school career. We're in the playoffs in 1988. We're home. And they even had like local TV broadcasters doing the game, the play by play. And I went down. I have three short clips. I don't know which one is which, but the last one is I went down with an injury, ended my high school career, and they had to carry me off. Whole crowd was aghast. What are we gonna do? So it's, it's not just any old footage. It's some cool footage.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So.

[Pete Corrielli]

And I only had four points at the time I went down. So I think that's one clip. And then, and then the other one is. Yeah, so that's it. So let's see what the first one is. This is Connect Quad High school on Long Island. 1988 freaking playoffs, baby.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, here we go. Here we go.

[Pete Corrielli]

Liking or connectwise?

[E]

Well, I tell you what, I think it should be the other, other way around, bro.

[Pete Corrielli]

My center was seven. He was seven feet tall.

[E]

Maybe it'll, it'll catch up to them.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

In high school, I think, I think.

[Pete Corrielli]

Personally, yeah, he was 7ft tall. That was Peter Corali hitting from the outside. His first two points of the game. Cuts the lead to six with a minute left to go with a ten point lead early.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, hold on. What number are you? I don't know what the. Could you, could you set this up?

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, this the way I'm trying to, but. Patrick, are you on the code?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I said one second, one second. Sure, sure, sure. We're watching this clip like that. We just watched the clip, right? And there was no, like, all right, I'm number five. I'm the guard. There was none of that. You assumed like, like we were watching game six of the Bulls verse the Jazz, and just by looking at it, we knew who, what player was watching.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, you don't, you don't know That's. Yeah, no, I. I thought the clips the way I thought I set them up, and if I didn't, Patrick, I apologize. I thought it would just show me and I was gonna take a shot and I was gonna be like, that's me right there. So sorry about that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, okay.

[Pete Corrielli]

But I think the first clip. Go ahead.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I use the white or the blue tape. Just dummy, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

And you tell you that. Holy. We're white. We're white. And my friend Larry's on the team too. Now, I think this is just a clip by for 10 seconds, right? Or something like that, where I think the announcer just talks about me for a second. Just. That's all I wanted to show you with this one.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, that almost went.

[Pete Corrielli]

That would have made the highlight filter.

[E]

That was a 90 foot shot off the front of the rim.

[Pete Corrielli]

All right, so we've come to the end of the first quarter and a quick first quarter. It was the visitors. So you heard that on the key. Now we're going to go to 2510. Patrick, this is, I think, me scoring a basket again. Full house. I'm number four. I'm SOA Thinks about it. Stripped away by Corali, but center. Each maintains the battle basketball. Six and a half left to go.

[E]

First half hitting a turnover. Coriali is down on the court right here on the floor in front of the table.

[Pete Corrielli]

Scally hit the shot, but Coriali is holding his left thigh or ankle and he's hurt right in front of us. Oh, boy.

[E]

Seems to have come down a little bit on the side of.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's me Foot Tren is out there.

[E]

On him right now.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's my dad. See my dad.

[E]

By the way, that's Dick Soby, the referee, standing over him. The rule on this, by the way, is that if Peter comes out of the game, there is no charge. Timeout.

[Pete Corrielli]

Okay, you can pause.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Pause it. What? One sec, one second. Okay, A couple. Couple things I want to point out here. Why is only one person tending to you and where are your teammates? Like, generally speaking, when someone is injured in a basketball or football game, isn't there a couple of teammates kind of lingering going? Is he all right? Your teammates are across court, bro, talking about where they're going to go after the game. What the fuck is going on, man?

[Pete Corrielli]

Bro, the thing here is when I went down, the coaches and the staff came out and told the team, just give them some breathing room. Step aside. This was. This was like, big deal. This is a big deal that I was going down. So, you know, it had to be tended to and it had to be tended to quickly.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So.

[Pete Corrielli]

And you're gonna see the severity of it because now we're gonna cut to the last clip, which isn't very long. It's just from 26, 30 to. It's like 40 seconds. And it's them taking me out. I'm walking out off the court. This is the last time my feet ever touched the basketball court in high school. Such a sad, unfortunate way to go out.

[E]

We were here last night, but this is, this is work, Necrot. And they were very, very loose out here, weren't they, Mike? Yes, they were having fun. They were playing shooting games. They were in a lot of. Doing a lot of easy things. They worked on some interesting things. One of the things that I noticed is that they, they shot the ball an awful lot.

[Pete Corrielli]

Practice.

[E]

They just kept shooting it. This could be a major injury here. Gentleman with the shirt sleeves helping Peter off the court is the athletic director here at Connect.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What?

[E]

That's Richard Ao.

[Pete Corrielli]

You mentioned before yesterday, Peter was an absolute delight to interview. Yes, he was confident and just an extremely well mannered young man.

[E]

Very nice, Very nice young man. And bro, by the way, really a.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Quality, quality kid, I gotta tell you. No, not, not a graceful, like, way to go off. Like where there was no rhythm in the, in the, in the walk. Yeah, like, it was like a little. It was like the little quick hot. What the fuck was that, bro?

[Pete Corrielli]

It was embarrassing, bro. I mean, listen, it was embarrassing. It was almost like, can you walk a little or should we get a stretcher? Cause right now we're dragging you out of here and it's fucking pick a thing. Can you walk at all or not? I'm like, my face, the grimacing. And this is how sad it really is, bro. We were getting our asses kicked and that was the playoffs. I was taken to the hospital for X rays and stuff. I didn't even stick around. And I'm like, they're gonna lose. It's over, man. My leg is. A guy on my team hit a buzzer beater from half court to win the game. I was just forgotten. Nobody gave a shit anymore about me. Whole career done. I'm getting taped up in the hospital and they're all cheering and celebrating. Oh, what a lousy way to go out. I couldn't. I couldn't wait to get on with the college career.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

All right. Are you the captain of the team at this point?

[Pete Corrielli]

Of course.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay. It's another thing I don't like. Sorry, I'm going to critique this. Where's the. Look over to the team? And where's that? Where's that? That almost trump, like, go get them, guys. What?

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, my. Okay. I didn't care about winning. I wanted 30 fucking points. That's all I cared about. I wanted to score and be the man. I worked really hard. The other guys on the team didn't work as hard as me, so I was just, you know, I was that. So when I got hurt, I was just like, this sucks. It's over, man. You know, so. But yeah, I didn't. I didn't. That's a regret, bro. I wasn't a man yet. I wasn't man enough to know. And then. This is so embarrassing to say out loud. They had another game because they won that one. So they went on into. In the playoffs. I, in the meantime, went out drinking with some friends. One of my friends got into a fight and ended up in the hospital because he got kicked in the balls and one of his balls blew up so big they had to take it out. So I told my dad I gotta go visit my friend. I was late to my own basketball team's playoff game. I'm on crutches getting over to the. To the bench as the game's about to start because I had to visit my buddy in a hospital with one ball. My. My whole. I was a mess. I was. I was a mess, bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I. You limp off the court like some wet seal and.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, God, I did.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

There is no encouragement to the team going, hey, I'll be okay. You guys got this without me. It was. It was not even a look back. I mean, I'm sure your teammates were watching going, yeah, he's probably gonna look back and give us the fucking. You guys got this. But none of that. And then on top of that, you're not even there to cheer him on on time for the next playoff game. What kind of captain are you?

[Pete Corrielli]

The worst kind. Then I'm captain in college and I quit. I mean, I'm the worst captain. I wasn't a fully deformed man yet. And my, My. My cousin who I adored, he unfortunately passed a few years back, but just the greatest guy he was on the team and he helped shut down their star. So he's interviewed at the end of this game and he tells the interviewer, our best player. You know, my cousin Pete went down. He just told us, guys, you got this. Like, he lied for me, hooked me up, man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, my God, bro.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, so that's. It's a It's a. It was a bad taste of a way to go out.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I've abandoned all of my natural instincts since I've been married. Right. Anything I naturally feel. Yeah, I. For whatever the reason, kind of. I'll give you the example. I knew it was going to be packed. It's the first day. You got mothers and fathers coming to school. Our school doesn't have parking. Our school has a drop off thing where you drop off and you go. Right. It's neighborhood parking. So I see a spot as we're going to the school. I told Lon, I go, I'm going to park here and we'll just walk it in. And there was a family that we knew that was walking. They live near the school and they were walking. So Lonna goes, no, no, no. We could find closer parking than this. This is too far. Now that family is walking from their home. Right? We drove from our home. And now we're in the perimeter of what I would call walking to school. Okay.

[Pete Corrielli]

Okay, yes.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So I'm upset that she thinks. She's like, I think it's a little too aggressive to be parking here. It's a long walk. I say to that, that family is going to be in the school before we find a parking spot. Right. Okay. So I'm stooling as I'm going towards the school. Traffic on the side streets, people, you know, over people trying to inch in. And she goes, all right, see if you could park here. I go, you can't park there. And as I'm saying this, the family who walked is entering the school. We're still in the car. Now I'm burning.

[Pete Corrielli]

Hey, it's not good for you, bro. It's not good for you. I hear you.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So she tells me a place to go find parking. In my head, I go, there's not going to be any parking there either. But I don't say that because I know if I do that's going to continue the argument or the, you know, the tension. So I turned the corner, sure enough, no parking there. There's a garage there. She goes, maybe the garage. In my head, I go, no, it's not gonna. That's not gonna be it either. So we end up dropping the kid off in the drop off line with Lana. And I'm pissed because now I'm gonna miss the first day of school where they kind of parade through the field and then we go up to their classroom and see the classic. So I drop them off. You ever do the, you know, where she's. I Don't know if. Does Jackie ever, like, kind of like, oh, I'm wrong. I was wrong here and now you're Matt? No.

[Pete Corrielli]

Rarely. Rarely. No way.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So she never concedes and say, hey, Pete, I'm sorry. I should have.

[Pete Corrielli]

Dude. My whole family was visiting. I lost the keys to the Subar for two days. My whole family's here and I'm looking for keys. Both of them. The family. I couldn't even use the Subaru because I couldn't find them. Jackie was yelling at me, da, da. After my family left, I found both of them in two separate bags of hers. I even texted my sister. And I just want you to know she lost them because they smoke pot. And I think they driving home going, jesus Christ. He couldn't even drive his car because he lost his fucking keys. What a fucking Tommy Chong, right? So. And all Jackie said was, I don't even know how they got in there. That's. That's sorry. That's sorry. I don't know how they got in there. I like your move with Lana, though. I've done that. You gave up mentally now. Now you're just a piece of meat. You want me to make a left? I'll make a left. Want to make a right? Whatever you want, you know? You know, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's exactly what it was. It's like, since you screwed my whole plan up, now I'm gonna give you your plan the way you want it. I'll give it full force, right? I just gave it to her. Left, right, center. I'll do it. I'll pull up on the lawn if you want.

[Pete Corrielli]

So.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Now I drop her off, and now, of course, I go to look for parking, which I know there's going to be none of, right? And she's calling me from the field. Did you find it yet? I go, no, nothing. Nothing here. Well, how about you park? You know, she's still trying to give me suggestions. I said, I'm gonna go back to where I wanted to park originally and I'm gonna walk in. Oh, no, I feel bad. Come give me the car so you could see the. You're gonna live in it. They're going to live in this, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

Besides, you gotta admit, on some level, I've been in those positions. As much as you wanna see your kid's little parade, it does feel good having all that leverage right now, right? She's feeling so bad, right? So I could, like, find a spot and not even take it just so she has to call me three more times. Feeling horrible. Like, I missed the whole thing.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I did that. It was one of those spots where it was. It was a parallel spot. It was gonna be tight.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Could I have gotten in? Maybe. But I'm like, I ain't. I ain't fucking getting in that spot, risking getting sandwiched in.

[Pete Corrielli]

Right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'll bypass it. Plus, to your point, I was kind of hoping I'd miss the whole fucking thing.

[Pete Corrielli]

She feels so bad now. If it was the other way around and she told you to park and you didn't, and now she's going, you're missing it. You're such a jerk. You should. That. You would have got in that little spot right there. You would have made that work. The. God, that's great. That's great, man. I know. You know, and they. Can you imagine if you took her up on that? Like, if you literally said, okay, I'll pull up switch, you know, and that's that. I find. I find men don't. We just don't get enough credit for those kind of moments like that that was forgotten by the time you sat down. Ten minutes into the whole recession, they already forgot that whole big thing and what happened. But if it was the other way around, I feel like it's not forgotten.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, no, it's still not forgotten. I'm talking about it three hours later, Right. I mean, for me, I hang on to that shit because she now is at a deficit while we're at the school. Right?

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

She goes. And then she pulls this. She goes, I am so sorry. I will listen to you from now on about parking. And if I do say anything, you could go tell me to fuck off. I am so sorry. You knew. But you know what? I also, I. You ever get the apology just to get it out. And I don't really feel that there's any sincerity behind it.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was a total guilt one right there. Totally. The last apology I got was a long story short. I was giving Jack a hard time because I'm like, yeah, you know, you don't come down in the morning, just give me a peck on the cheek of morning like that, you know? She's like, it's not a sitcom. I mean, who. You don't just come down. Right. So anyway, I go, nah, it's just. It's a little connection. That's all it is, you know? And I go, if I come up to you sometimes, you're like, oh, I'm busy. Blah, blah, blah. So then she goes for a run, and when she comes back, she got the Music. She takes off, she's stretching, sunshine. And she sees me and she's like, I'm sorry, baby. You're right. For now on, I'm gonna kiss you in the morning when I see you, right? She gives me a kiss, and that's. I feel good because I ran. That's the only reason I'm getting that apology right, Is you're just psyched. The runs. I haven't gotten a morning kiss since, by the way, bro, since. Since.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You know what you want to kiss, you know what you do? You just put your head and you just lay it on her running shoes, and you just wait for her to come and put the running shoes on.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, I tell you, probably right? And by the way, I would imagine by Sunday you go for a parking lot drive with Lana and she's going to be telling you where to park, bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm absolutely, absolutely.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's words.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's just never gonna. And again, that's what I'm saying. If this. If I could give you any advice to the married men out there, don't lose those man instincts that you have. Just don't lose them. Because if you start, you know, questioning. Because I was saying to myself a little bit, I was saying, well, maybe there is a spot closer, but then I'm wrestling, going, no, there's not. There's not. You know, like, you got to stick to what you believe, bro. It's like switching religions, man. I mean, you can't do it.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, no, you're right. You're right. And if you listen to a woman, they'll have you go into the airport 45 minutes before your flight. Like, they do that kind of, too. I'll be going to airport. Why did I listen to you? I'm freaking out right now. I'd already be sipping coffee in front of my gate right now if I was by myself. Jesus Christ.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

My kids were, like, acting up at the grocery store yesterday. They were, like, a little hyper, you know, they're, like, excited, and I'm like, all right, you know, but they were kind of hopping around. I go, hey, hey, hey. Saying a playground. Tone it down. You know, I'm saying just a little too, like, you know, especially boys, sometimes they're not really in control of their body, and they could, like, knock something over and not know it. So I was trying to prevent all this. So we're in the aisle, and Lana. And this is partially her fault, of course. I didn't say it was. I'm going to say it to you here in the Cast. I didn't open my mouth yesterday because I knew it was just one of those things. Just. Just keep your mouth shut. She had, like, five olive for olives. She wanted to make blue cheese olives. So she had five of them that she had brought over for me to look at. And I go, that one. And then when she was gonna go put him back, we were in the aisle, and she had all five of them there. And I'm like. In my head, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? This is glass. You got five. You don't really have control of them. And Caruso was kind of like, mommy, Mommy, Mommy. And next thing you know, boom. Cracks in the aisle. Now, I have to say, I have 51 years of never dropping anything at the grocery store where I had to go tell the people, clean up aisle six. Have you ever dropped anything that broke in a grocery store?

[Pete Corrielli]

Probably, but I can't remember off the top of my head, but, man, it's been a while. And then everyone's looking at you. I see somebody break something, though, in a grocery store. Instantly, white trash. That's the first thing that comes to my head.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's it. That's what I think. Right now we're white trash and Ielts. Yeah. Aisle three. I got olives on the floor. And then I'm thinking to myself, oh, God.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, but if you walk away, that's white trash. But if you go and get somebody, that's an accident. These things happen. These things happen, man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So I lay into my kids in the aisle. I go. And while Lana goes and tells the store that there's been a break, I tell the kids. I go, get over. Get over right now. And I don't do it. I don't do a yell out in public. I don't do a yell. It's a controlled rage, right? Get over here. I said, look at this. Look at this. I go, I was telling you earlier, stop jumping around. This isn't a playground. And now look at what happened. All right, I got to pay for that, right? And I go, now we got to get somebody to come over and clean it up. And they're looking at me, bro. I got to tell you, the respect that I get from these two kids when I get into this, like, rage mode is. Is. Oh, God, bro. I almost want to film it and put it up there and. And put it on. Like. You brought that George Washington book on the Patreon. Yeah, like, how to live your life. I want to put these little snippets. This is how you parent, Right?

[Pete Corrielli]

Right. Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So I laid into them, and then we go to check out, right? And I'm still fuming, but they're like, you ever. You ever do something to Sadie? Like, you reprimand her, you discipline her, and then she, like, says, hey, dad, do you want to go to like. And you ain't there yet. Like, you ain't. You ain't out of the fucking rage moment.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's great.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

We get to check it out. We get to check it out. They're like, dad, I go, we ain't there yet. I'm still. I'm still with the olives. Like, don't be. Don't be friends with me just yet. It's like. It's gotta. Like, you gotta earn it now. You gotta. You can't just come back into normal life. We gotta build into it. Like, I need a couple more sorry daddies before I come around.

[Pete Corrielli]

I was gonna ask you, is it something you say to them? Like, do you finally give a little. Like, finally some sun? Say that one quip so they know, dad's back. Dad's back. We're back.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. Yeah. Let me do it, though. Let me do it. You can't dictate, like, when we start acting normal again.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So.

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, it's gonna be neat, though, when you get older, especially with your daughter, who's gonna be, you know, just apple your eye, because sometimes she's gonna be, like, telling you to calm down, and, you know, then you gotta go, am I a hothead? Am I wrong? Or is it. Cause, you know, your daughter's gonna be able to break you down a little bit more at certain points. Like, I'm still a little lost, though. Why are you yelling at them? You felt they got in Lana's way or something. Did I miss see the story Crusoe?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, Crusoe was kind of poking at her, and she lost control of the. The Crusoe was hanging on her arm, kind of, and that's why she lost control. But she shouldn't. Had five jars in her hand to begin with, but.

[Pete Corrielli]

And it sounds like Seraphina is just getting caught in the crossfire, too. Like, why is she getting.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, okay, this is. This is something that you're not aware of because you don't have multiple kids. She was acting up earlier, you know, and I told him to settle down. The fact that he did it, I lump her into it so I could get a dual discipline at once. Now Serafina's even telling me during my disciplinary rage, she Goes, daddy, I didn't do anything. I said you were invited. Like, I make it look like you were at the scene of the crime. It don't fucking matter if you didn't pull the trigger, right.

[Pete Corrielli]

You were there. You got her on the rico. So that's what that is, right there. It really is. And by the way, you don't think I saw you doing it earlier? I saw you do it earlier. Right. So that's for before.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

Now you got it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like I said, this, this, this, this very well could have happened 10 minutes ago. You were lucky it didn't. But now that it did, it's everybody's fucking fault.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Now get in line. So we got in line and then, of course, you know, listen, my daughter, she was. Daddy, can I do the pay? Because she likes to pay, you know, when we go, she wants to put the credit card in the thing and take it out. Of course, after she said that, you know. Yeah, no, you could do that. She did it.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, man. Big softy. The old man's a big softy. You can't stand toe to toe with this guy. He'll deposit you up there on Mars. He's too tough. He's too strong. Listen, how the hell can we train in this creep joint here?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

There was a guy in the gym and he was bothering me with the sounds coming out of his body and where he constantly was. You know, like, you're in the gym and you feel like you're wherever you go, there's always somebody there. Like, they're doing almost the same workout you're doing. It's like, guy. Yeah. I saw you doing the. What do you call the row machine. Yeah. There was another row machine next to you.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And he started to row as you were rowing. Now, I'm sorry if I do rowing and I see that there's an empty row machine next to a guy that's already rowing. I don't do rowing that day.

[Pete Corrielli]

Right, right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Done. I'm on a treadmill. I don't know what the fuck was that, man.

[Pete Corrielli]

And especially because the whole gym is empty, so. And no one rows that long. Wait the 10 minutes. So then my phone is kind of like, near his row machine. I'm like, do. I can't believe you said that. Because when you said it, I was thinking the same thing. I'm like, do I move my phone? I'm like, guy, what the. What are we, fucking dating? Get the fuck out of here. Like, like, you're right. On top of my shit, you know, I can't stand when I do. Like. Another thing I'll do is, oh, by the way, he was stretching right in the middle of the gym. There's so many nooks and crannies. Take it. You know, I feel those sometimes when you're working out in a hotel gym, I feel like a lot of times we're dealing with amateur hour. Like people that maybe don't go to normal gyms. Maybe they have a little something at home, maybe they don't normally work out and then, you know. So, yeah, that guy kind of annoyed me too. I gotta be honest. But when I'm done with a. Like if I do dumbbells or something, and then I go over here to do something else and it's clear that I'm going back and forth. Don't slide in there and get a thing and just wait till I'm done. Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I will adjust my workout to where people are in the gym. I'll do a machine that I've never done before to avoid someone doing something near a machine I wanted to use. I might do a body part that I've never even tried before just to avoid people.

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, you're so self aware. You're probably like me again, Larry Bird, like, instincts. I'll be using a machine and I notice somebody else is working their way down machine to machine. And I'm like, they're gonna. They're gonna want the machine I'm on probably within about 15 minutes. So let me finish this up so they can keep. And I feel like they're like. The guy sees them coming down the line of machines. So it works both ways, even with you. We say hello, and then we kind of give each other space, you know, we know each other, man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So, yeah, there's not a lot of chit chat with you and I in the gym. Although this guy, the sounds coming out of this guy is another thing that bothered me. He sat down on that rowing machine and he started with a. I'm like, hey, man, come on, man. This is. Yeah, she's not at home. I know.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah. Well, sometimes when I'm at home, I just did this morning I was working, I just yell out. I'm on the stem essence. Yell out a random. And Jackie's like. Jackie's like, what's wrong? I'm like, nothing. It just sucks. It just sucks. Doesn't it suck? Can't get. That's why Louis CK always had so much great material. He never worked out a day in his Life just fucking writing all morning. There you go, man. That was the last you're gonna hear our voices until 2025, which is basically, you know, tomorrow. But anyway, happy New Year. Hope you enjoyed it. Any last parting words, Sebastian? Very excited for a new year to cast, to take it to a new level. A new level.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, we are always. It's funny, every time we get on this cast, I'm like, oh, what are we going to talk about? Do we have anything to talk about this week? And more often than not, we always have plenty of things to share with you guys. Really appreciate you guys kind of being loyal listeners so much. So where, you know, sometimes when we do take a week off, which is very rarely, you know, I think we took one or two off, people start chiming in, going, what's going on? How come it hasn't posted yet? So, you know, people are on the edge of their seats waiting for this thing to come out. Yeah, I mean, listen, we didn't interview, we didn't interview a president this year. Right. We didn't have any of that going on on our show. But little teaser, we got pretty close to the White House this year.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, there's some, some people came out to see the It Ain't Right tour.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, Sebastian's meeting, well, let's not get into, let's give that a little tease. Could be from the Biden administration, could be from the Trumpet. We don't know yet.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But we'll dissect that moving into 2025. Just, just a little piece, little appetizer.

[Pete Corrielli]

Beautiful. God, I'm on the show and I can't wait.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

All right, guys, thanks a lot for listening to the Pete Sebastian Show, 2024 edition. Hope you enjoyed the best of and we will see you next year.

[Pete Corrielli]

This is the time to remember will not last forever these are the days to hold on to cause we won't call the world one and two this.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Is the time.

[Pete Corrielli]

But time is going to change. You've given me the best of you but I need the rest of you.

[Sponsor Announcer]

This podcast is brought to you by Aura, the most complete online safety toolkit. 2024 has seen a massive surge in high profile data breaches, raising serious concerns about the security of your personal information. Dell's breach exposed 3.9 million customer records. And Ticketmaster also faced a massacre breach compromising over 560 million records. And most alarming of all, this past summer, national public data reported a breach potentially affecting Every single American. 2.9 billion records used for background checks were stolen and released to the public for free. If this all sounds pretty scary, it's because it is. You've never been more vulnerable in the digital world than you are right now. But before I keep spouting dark statistics and grim news stories, I'll share some positive news. This podcast is thrilled to partner with Aura, who monitors the dark web for users phone numbers, emails and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. And even better than that, Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance, making sure you have a safety net in the event of a worst case scenario. Aura is a complete online safety toolkit which includes a variety of other features to keep you safe online. They have a VPN for secure browsing, they even have a password manager to help you create and store strong passwords and more. I've already started all my holiday shopping for my friends and family and I can rest easy knowing that Aura has my back. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online, all for free. When you visit aura.comdefense that's aura.comdefense to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones once more. That's aura.comdefense certain terms apply, so be sure to check their site for details.