653: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 653 - "Calling it A Night"

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Pete and Sebastian Show – EP 653: "Calling it A Night"

Release Date: May 6, 2025
Hosts: Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco
Description: Two A-list comedians, Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco, engage in a week’s worth of humorous banter, personal anecdotes, and comedic insights.

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1. Appearance and Wardrobe Choices

Discussion Highlights: Pete and Sebastian kick off the episode by playfully ribbing each other about their wardrobe choices. Pete addresses Sebastian’s branded Italian flag shirt, humorously debating whether it qualifies as a "half top" or a "crop top." They delve into the challenges of maintaining a casual yet presentable look, especially when being the subject of friendly mockery.

Notable Quotes:

• Pete Correale [02:35]: "I'm trying to get better at being made fun of without snapping back."
• Sebastian Maniscalco [04:17]: "I've been working on this 'Passover video' where my shirt was unbuttoned entirely further than it should have been."

2. Introducing a New Family Dog

Discussion Highlights: A significant portion of the episode revolves around Sebastian introducing a new puppy to his household. He explains the complexities of introducing a new dog to his existing dog, Luigi, who is adjusting to the new family dynamics. The conversation humorously explores the emotional turmoil of pets reacting to new additions and the challenges of finding suitable names for the puppy.

Notable Quotes:

• Sebastian Maniscalco [06:52]: "I have a puppy downstairs that's nine weeks old. It's the sister of Luigi's."
• Pete Correale [10:34]: "Petunia isn't necessarily locked in yet, but it's a placeholder right now."

3. Struggles with Sleep and House Guests

Discussion Highlights: Sebastian shares his frustrations with disrupted sleep due to both a new puppy and house guests visiting for spring break. He describes late-night noises from owls and the puppy’s yelping, which disrupt his sleep routine. The hosts commiserate over the challenges of maintaining personal sleep schedules amidst household chaos and discuss strategies to cope with restless nights.

Notable Quotes:

• Sebastian Maniscalco [27:54]: "I get up, I do it, but I'm like, God damn, this is early."
• Pete Correale [31:02]: "For a normal person, you've been bouncing around like a five dollar hooker, you know, room to room all night."

4. Comedians and Google Rankings

Discussion Highlights: Pete and Sebastian engage in a lighthearted debate about why they’re not more prominent in online searches. They humorously speculate about their ranking on Google when searching for "stand-up comedians" and joke about being overshadowed by more mainstream names. This segment highlights the challenges comedians face in gaining online visibility despite their talent.

Notable Quotes:

• Sebastian Maniscalco [44:07]: "I did a lot of what you're saying too. I assume the number one at the top is the number One."
• Pete Correale [46:09]: "This should be a class in college or high school. What you're saying right now, how to navigate Google?"

5. Travel Clothing and Airport Etiquette

Discussion Highlights: The hosts transition to a humorous critique of travelers’ wardrobe choices, particularly focusing on the absurdity of wearing flip-flops and minimal clothing in airports and on airplanes. They mock the casual attire some people adopt while traveling, emphasizing the lack of consideration for different climates and the impracticality of such choices during travel disruptions.

Notable Quotes:

• Pete Correale [49:04]: "They are putting your flip flops on when you get to the goddamn resort."
• Sebastian Maniscalco [51:31]: "It's like a band-aid. That's it."

6. Closing Remarks and Future Topics

As the episode winds down, Pete and Sebastian tease upcoming topics, including anecdotes from a trip to Austin, Texas, and further discussions on their personal lives and humorous takes on everyday situations. The hosts maintain their signature comedic style, leaving listeners anticipating the next episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Pete Correale [47:26]: "We'll get into that next episode, okay?"
• Sebastian Maniscalco [53:04]: "This podcast is brought to you by Aura..."

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Conclusion: In "Calling it A Night," Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco deliver a blend of relatable humor and candid conversations. From the trials of introducing a new pet and managing sleep disruptions to humorously dissecting travel fashion faux pas, the episode encapsulates the duo's dynamic chemistry and comedic prowess. Listeners are treated to honest discussions underscored by sharp wit, making it both entertaining and insightful for fans and newcomers alike.

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Notable Moments with Timestamps:

• Introducing the New Puppy: [06:48] – Sebastian reveals the addition of a new dog and discusses the impact on Luigi.
• Sleep Disruptions: [27:54] – Detailed account of Sebastian’s restless nights due to owls and the puppy.
• Google Rankings Debate: [43:35] – The humorous exchange about their visibility as comedians online.
• Travel Clothing Critique: [49:04] – Comedic rant on inappropriate travel attire like flip-flops in airports.

Transcript

[Pete Corrielli]

Thanks to ZocDoc for sponsoring this episode. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. The next time I need a doctor, there's only one place I'm going and that is zocdoc baby. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com thecast to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c-o c.com thecast zocdoc.com thecast.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users, phone numbers, emails and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free. When you visit aura.comdefense that's aura.comdefense to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's a u r a.com defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details.

[Casey Kasem]

This is the Pete and Sebastian show with Pete Corrielli and Sebastian Maniscalco.

[Pete Corrielli]

When I wake up early in the morning, lift my head I'm still your lead. When I'm in the middle of a dream, stay in bed. Float upstream, float upstream. Please don't wake me.

[Patrick]

Load up all right.

[Pete Corrielli]

Boom.

[Patrick]

Welcome to the Pete and Sebastian Show. Sebastian Mascarco P. Corieli, coming to you again for another week of fun and excitement. We were talking off air. You were doing some stuff. You were hanging some stuff. I saw your skin from your back. Your back skin, your front. You basically have a half top on and is that an Italian shirt?

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, wow, that's right, guy.

[Patrick]

Okay, I take it all back. The fact that the shirt is branded with the Italian flag and it says Italy. It's okay if it's a half top.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's not a half top. All right? This is. I'm trying to get better at being made fun of without snapping back, which you have brought up as a bad habit of mine. So I'll take the hit a little bit. But as I was hanging my curtain, this is what it's like being in your world, man. I'm hanging the curtain and I know when I'm hanging it that the sweatshirt fits just right. But when you raise your arms, it's a nightmare. The whole thing comes up and I know that and I don't have a T shirt underneath it because I like the feel of it on my skin. And it's a brand new thing. So this is all going. And as I'm hanging it, I swear to God on my father's grave, I'm going, let me get this up before he gets to his chair and sees my fucking back. Cuz he'll say something. And I'm almost clipping it and I hear, oh, what does he got, a half shirt? What is that, a crop top? What is that like right away? Right away? There's like, no. There's no reprieve ever with you, bro. Then your camera comes on and you look like Dick Van Dyke ready to sing Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with that fucking. I don't know what's going on with that. Ropes hanging from the neck. So, you know, again, I'm not attacking back.

[Patrick]

It's okay, I'll take. I'll take the ridicule. Okay? You know what I did? You know what this is? What this is when you're thumbing through Instagram looking at videos and then this shoots off your phone. You go, what the fuck is this guy wearing? And you have to play the video just because this is what's going on. It's an advertising ploy, bro.

[Pete Corrielli]

Wow. All right. I can't keep up. I can't keep up. So the idea is, boom, I see that. And what's going on? Is that why. I see what you're on to, bro? You're really onto something because the other day you were doing some sort of a Passover video where your shirt was unbuttoned entirely further than it should have been, especially for a man without chest hair. And. And Jackie, I'm driving and she goes, what is he doing? Boom, we're in. Because the shirt is inappropriately unbuttoned. So. All right, got it.

[Patrick]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Pete Corrielli]

Bro.

[Patrick]

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not fucking around right now. If you stood up, right, and raised your hand way up high and showed some belly, and we got a screenshot of that. Boom. 100 million views.

[Pete Corrielli]

100 million views. I'd pull my pants down if it meant 100 million views.

[Patrick]

As long as we're on appearance. And I've noticed another thing just can't help. Looks like you're growing out the beard and there's an excess of gray here, which typically I don't see because you keep it trimmed. But am I right to say that there's some growth on the facial hair that is not Typical of the Coriali look.

[Pete Corrielli]

I don't think so. I mean, this is definitely the casual at home look. I don't feel like it's much thicker than usual.

[Lana]

Do you feel it looks three days long.

[Patrick]

Three days long. We're saying over here on the Maniscalco, and Patrick is saying, I wish it.

[Pete Corrielli]

Grew that fast, bro. That's more like probably about a week. But if I was doing stand up, I'd probably give it a trim. But for the cast, it's okay.

[Patrick]

Okay. That's what I was getting at. Okay, so you got your half top, you got your beard. I got my Van Dyke. We're ready to go here on the Pete and Sebastian show. There is a smell emanating in this room, and I'm trying to figure out where it's coming from. I don't know if somebody made some food downstairs, but something's going on with the smell. I didn't think I told you this, but we have a new addition to the family. We have a dog. We have number two. We got another dog.

[Pete Corrielli]

You're kidding me.

[Patrick]

No.

[Pete Corrielli]

Are you serious?

[Patrick]

Yeah. I have a puppy downstairs that's nine weeks old. It's the sister of Luigi's. It's Luigi's mother. Different father, so the dog's sleeping around. It's not even. Bro. It's not even from the same. It's not even from the same dad. I feel like we got a dysfunctional family over here. What, you think I'm getting a dog, but not from the same dad?

[Pete Corrielli]

I. Bro. I don't care if they're related or not. Double dogs is how many acres you have. It's a dog per acre. Anything under that's white trash.

[Patrick]

A dog? What?

[Pete Corrielli]

Dog per acre? Dog per acre. Anything under that?

[Patrick]

Yeah, yeah, we're good. We're good with the acreage.

[Pete Corrielli]

What are you doing?

[Patrick]

This was not my idea. Lana brought it up. This is why this is there. Lana contacted the woman we got the dog from.

[Pete Corrielli]

Mm.

[Patrick]

And she said, hey, how's it going? Just. I don't know if it was out of the blue, checking on the. The day. The day she called is the day that they had the litter of puppies. And Lana thought it was a sign that I haven't talked to this woman. And then the day I reach out to them, they have a litter of puppies. It's a sign that we have a sign. I said, listen, I ain't into this. Another dog, another. I gonna be one of those houses where you go, it's a zoo. You got animals running around and shit like that.

[Pete Corrielli]

One dog's getting it.

[Patrick]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

Even Luigi's like, what the. I would have gone somewhere else if I knew this shit was going to happen.

[Patrick]

He's depressed.

[Pete Corrielli]

He. Of course he is. He wants to be solo. He doesn't need this. He's gonna share now.

[Patrick]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He was walking around two days ago, the king of the house, and now he's fucking in the corner sulking because everybody. And then Lana's getting. Listen. She went to go pick the dog up. She's bringing it home. I had the kids and Luigi. She's like, I'm approaching the house, bring out the kids to the end of the driveway. I said, okay.

[Pete Corrielli]

They had no idea this was happening.

[Patrick]

No surprise. Wow. I said, all right, I'll bring Luigi in the kitchen. He goes, no, keep Luigi in the house. Just the kids. I go, why? I don't want it. I'm not going to bring in the dog and invade Luigi's space. I want them to meet on neutral ground. What? So I bring the kids out, they meet the dog. Then she's like, all right, now go get Luigi. So now I went to go get Luigi, and the dogs meet in the driveway. And I tell on. I go, what the fuck we doing? And the drive. We're gonna go in the house eventually. So it's not like, you know what I'm saying, dogs come in with us.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's still Luigi's driveway anyway, too, right?

[Patrick]

Yeah. It's not like we're meeting at the park. You know what I'm saying?

[Pete Corrielli]

Let's go to Ralph's parking lot. We'll have them sniff each other's nose at the supermarket parking lot, see if they feel each other out, and then we'll go home. What? Bro? How did the kids react? Were the kids a little like, we got a dog.

[Patrick]

It's inside. Oh, no. Over the moon puppy.

[Pete Corrielli]

Who goes? A puppy.

[Patrick]

So over the moon, they're happy. And I'm like. So I told Lana, I said, listen, this is your responsibility. I'm against this. I get. She had two dogs growing up, so maybe this is where that's coming from.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh. Oh, yeah. There you go.

[Patrick]

She thought. She thought Luigi looked like he needed a friend. And I go, that's how dogs look.

[Pete Corrielli]

Exactly. That's it. That's what you get people. You know, I used to try to do a bit about that, but the whole idea that, like, people think you get two dogs when you're gone, they're gonna be playing fucking chess or something, you know, they're gonna just be staring at each other now. Now you got two sad dogs. You know what I do. This is what Lana should have did. I, like in the summertime, I put my dog out on the driveway and the birds are chirping, squirrels run by. You know, things are in the trees. Those are your friends. They like. You hear them, you know? So, like, you should have just got a fish or a bird, something that Luigi could look at when he wanted to. But like, this is an invasion of Luigi's whole space. I feel.

[Patrick]

Well, he don't know what's going on. I mean, three months ago he had his balls cut off. Now he's basically a second class citizen in his own home because the kids. So I was petting the. By the way, we're still kind of tossing the names around right now. The name is right? This is what I like about an animal. You could change his name three weeks from now, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

We did. We did that with one of our dogs. The last one was Nikki for a week. Wasn't sticking right?

[Patrick]

Now the dog's name is Petunia. I go, I ain't into this shit.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, man.

[Patrick]

Petunia. So no one seems to be liking the name. So we gotta switch the name out soon because this dog's not gonna know what the hell his name is in another month. My son's calling it Daisy. I'm calling it Petunia. I go, what the fuck is the name?

[Pete Corrielli]

So Petunia isn't necessarily locked in yet, but it's a placeholder right now. Use it as a fucking placeholder. Over. I mean, just go with dog until you figure it out.

[Patrick]

Come here, dog.

[Pete Corrielli]

Come here, dog. Why is Caruso going rogue with Daisy? What is he doing?

[Patrick]

I don't know. Well, the kids. The kids are coming up with their last night. Serafina says she likes Val. Valentina. Valentina. And then no Karina. I don't know, bro. This is beyond my. I go, listen.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh.

[Patrick]

And then the first night, it slept through the night, right? I was like, oh, my God, I think she's going to sleep through the night. Well, last night I went to bed early, 9:00, about 10:45. I hear the chirping coming through the house. From this, the yapping was. It could have went right through your soul. And once I'm up, I'm up, right? Especially if there's a sound, right? So the dog's yelping, Lana's not in bed. We have we have houseguests right now. She's with the houseguests. And I want to get into that. What's your take on going to bed with houseguests? Still there.

[Pete Corrielli]

I literally, I made a note. I mean, I mean, I made a note. 9:00pm in general, I was wondering how you get, how you get so much done more than I get done. Like, you're always getting stuff done with everything. And I'm like, what's this guy done?

[Patrick]

I don't know.

[Pete Corrielli]

You're going to bed at right after dinner.

[Patrick]

Well, we'll get into this. We'll get into this. Okay, so the dog's yelping. I'm pissed because now I'm up. Then I hear ooh, ooh, ooh. And tap dancing on the. I got a fucking owl on the roof.

[Pete Corrielli]

What is this, the jungle, bro, it's 10:45. You're asleep. Animals are still up. It's too early. It's the world telling you, what are you doing? Get up. I mean, the news isn't even on yet, bro. The 11 o'clock news isn't even on yet. And you didn't just go to bed. You rolled over annoyed because things are making noise in the early evening, bro.

[Patrick]

Early evening, 10:45. I'm sorry, that's bedtime.

[Pete Corrielli]

Thanks to Zocdoc for sponsoring this episode. Guys, when was the last time you scheduled an annual checkup? I'm guessing a lot of you are thinking, wow, it's been a minute. It's the perfect time now to reset our goals. Whether that's cutting out junk food, joining a gym, or improving finances. For me, one of my top goals is finally booking that annual checkup that, thanks to Zocdoc, it's easier than ever. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 1,100,000 doctors across every specialty from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care, and more. The next time I need a doctor, there's only one place I'm going and that's Zocdoc, baby. It's just so easy. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com thecast to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com TheCast Zocdoc.com TheCast.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Casey Kasem]

This is Casey Kasem reminding you to tune in to Loose Ends. Every Tuesday at 8:30pm Eastern Time. Pete Corieli connects with you, the Pete and Sebastian fans. It has music magic and sometimes. Sebastian Sebastian's here. It's a wild variety show only on the Pete and Sebastian Patreon.

[Patrick]

What time? What time were you in bed last night?

[Lana]

I didn't go to sleep last night.

[Patrick]

He didn't go to sleep last night. This guy's had no sleep.

[Pete Corrielli]

This guy had a job and left his home at 16. Nothing about him is normal. Don't forget that. Keep that in mind. You know, I myself 1120. 1120. But that was late. But that was late. But. And it's spring break. In bed by 11.

[Patrick]

Okay. Okay. Put your mic on, please.

[Lana]

Checking in.

[Patrick]

All right, so can you tell the listeners why you have a family? Correct? Yeah. Okay.

[Pete Corrielli]

When's the let you weren't sure?

[Patrick]

Well, I had to make sure. I know he had kids. I just had to make sure. Well, first of all, before he even gets into it. When's the last time you had no sleep? You remember that?

[Pete Corrielli]

I did an all nighter.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

Orange maybe?

[Patrick]

Yeah. Okay. Why were you up?

[Lana]

I like to see my kids. So I get two or three hours with them. In the evening I put him to bed and then I catch up on all my editing overnight. I do like two nights a week. Edit, Edit overnight.

[Pete Corrielli]

Okay, okay. And then what happens in the morning? Like now your kids wake up and you come out of the editing office. Good morning, kids. You want breakfast? Like you just literally were up all night and you go right into the day.

[Lana]

Yeah, well, I left the house at 5:30.

[Pete Corrielli]

Are you tired?

[Lana]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

This guy's amazing, bro. This guy just said this. Patrick just said it. Like, doesn't everybody do this plow through the night with work? I'm going to bed at night. This guy's not even going to bed.

[Pete Corrielli]

There's a lot going on here, though. There's a lot. I don't want to put you in an awkward position because you're physically right next to him. Right. He did something for us last week that was huge. It was huge. That was a huge thing that's happening that he did, Remember, with the ads, that was very helpful. So it's hard to make fun of him right now, but I'm going to try. And the other thing is, you know, you own a business. Someone walks into your business who works for you and says, I haven't slept since Tuesday. As they're putting on their apron to start cutting meat behind the counter. Wouldn't you? Kind of. What level of service am I getting as an employer? Employer, right. So glad we got Zombie here behind the desk.

[Patrick]

Apparently. Listen, he's been doing this since you've been working with us. You've been. This is like. Yeah, so it's not like it's new. Like he did it last night. This is a lifestyle, bro. He's been doing this the whole time he's been with us.

[Pete Corrielli]

Can we talk to him again one more second? Yeah, bring him on, Patrick. I feel like the thing that's slowing me down. It's why I brought up Sebastian about getting more things done than me is time. I don't have enough time. I have to stretch. I have to work out. I gotta take my kid to school. Before I know it, the kid's coming home from school at night. I want to watch a little TV with the wife or something. So, bro, is there a secret to working through the night? If I didn't have to sleep, I'd rule the world, wouldn't it? Everyone be waking up and I'd be like, I fucking wrote a novel while you were in fucking rem, you know? Damn. I feel like you do that, Sebastian. I feel like you're getting up at like three in the morning and just like getting at it with life. Is that true?

[Patrick]

So it used to be more like that. I'd say two years ago, no, not even maybe six months ago. But ever since I. I realized the importance of sleep and how I wasn't sleeping and getting up and trying to work out at 4:30 in the morning for what? Now I'm just going to bed at a reasonable hour. Nine, nine thirty. And like today I got up at five and I worked out at six. I got ready. I got this whole new regimen I'm doing to get ready, bro. It's unbelievable. I feel like. Also, I feel a little kind of left out right now because there wasn't any compliment on the Florida tan that I seem to be keeping.

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, I didn't want to put Patrick on the spot with a physical look at him. But that's the key difference with sleep is you do look fantastic right now. You look healthy, refreshed, good. He probably looks like Gene Hackman the day before he died.

[Patrick]

I mean, if I looked at him, there's no indication that this guy is on no sleep.

[Pete Corrielli]

Really?

[Patrick]

Yeah. I mean, that's impressive.

[Lana]

Yeah, it's like a routine. I've been doing this for like three years.

[Pete Corrielli]

Two nights.

[Patrick]

Wow. Two nights a week. Two nights a week.

[Pete Corrielli]

I get up at 6:30 for school days. And every day I get up, I do it, but I'm like, God damn, this is early. And then today, today I had to do something that I did. I slept till nine. Cause it's spring break and Sadie's at a friend's. And I knew Jackie was going to. She was. I already been mentioned. We'll be having some fun this morning. Oh, God, I'm not going anywhere near. But just hear me out. But you know, she doesn't. When Sadie's gone, she sleeps till like 9. I'm up at 7. Oh, my God. I'm like waiting on a train platform for two hours.

[Patrick]

What are you just on the couch hard.

[Pete Corrielli]

What now? I'm in the bed reading the post on my phone, waiting to do it when you're just laying on the couch, guy. Come on. All right. But anyway, is there. My last question to Patrick? Is there a secret to doing that? Is it. I mean, is it like. I love to do that, but I feel like the next day I'm shot. I'm just. It's a burnt day, so it's not working.

[Patrick]

Is this a nap day today?

[Lana]

I don't have a delivery tonight, so. I'll probably go to bed at, like, 7:30 when I put the kids to bed and then wake up.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, same time as Sebastian. All right, thank you, Patrick. That's unbelievable, man. I couldn't do that. But, I mean, when they say someone's an insomniac, even an insomniac has to sleep, right? Their body would just. They would die if they didn't. Right?

[Patrick]

Yeah. I mean, listen, insomniac, you're in bed, but you can't fall asleep. Patrick's choosing not to even go to bed, and he's up twice a week now. Is it in succession? Ever? Is it two nights in a row? Are you ever up for 48 hours?

[Lana]

If I have a schedule problem? Sometimes, but then I catch up.

[Patrick]

Coffee?

[Lana]

Yeah. Anxiety. Coffee.

[Patrick]

Anxiety and coffee. This guy's living on anxiety, bro.

[Pete Corrielli]

Man, that's like that. That's. That's his stimulant. Holy. That's what kept soldiers alive in Nam. Swear to God. Holy. Right? Yeah. Who needs an alarm clock when you're staring death down the barrel? Oh. Oh, wow.

[Patrick]

A lot coming out this cast, so. Okay. Jesus.

[Pete Corrielli]

I feel like I'm talking to a Kennedy getting ready to go sailing with that shirt. I can't get past it, bro. Jeez, Mike, we're doing the show live from Kenny Bunkport.

[Patrick]

Bro. It's funny you mentioned sailing. We're gonna get in. We're gonna get into boat. We're gonna get into boating. Dude, back to you.

[Pete Corrielli]

Let's go, bro.

[Patrick]

Okay, let me get back on the train here. We.

[Pete Corrielli]

We got.

[Patrick]

We got. So I got the dog yelping. I got the owls.

[Pete Corrielli]

I got two owls.

[Patrick]

Communicate, by the way. I didn't even tell you.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's cool.

[Patrick]

Did I tell you we have an owl house over on the other wooden house? Yeah. Yeah. So we have an owl house with a camera in it. Oh, wow. We're hoping the owl goes to. Which it never does. It's always on my chimney. Tap dancing, bro. You ever hear an owl on, like, a chimney? Just with his little claws, right? And then got the dog barking. Now the dog starts to simmer down. Lana comes into the room, goes into her bathroom, shuts the door, puts the light on. Now I have light in my bedroom. I can't sleep. A, with sound. And B, it's gotta be dark. So now I'm pissed. So now I'm trying to fall asleep. Trying to fall asleep. It's not happening. Not happening. Lana gets into bed and she's on the phone, right? I don't Know if Jackie does this, are you ever trying to sleep? And she's on the phone, right? And if you open up your eye, you just see kind of like a light coming from her side of the bed because the phone's on. You ever have this happen? Is she ever on the phone and you're sleeping? No.

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, she is, but not the light. It's the one I hear. Like a. Like something on the phone as a download and something like that. Yeah. Okay, so this is.

[Patrick]

This is what I'm hearing. This is what I'm hearing. And I do have the disorder misophonia, right? So this is what I'm hearing, right? You ever get to shit in bed?

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh.

[Patrick]

Now I got the light, the. This, the owls and the dog. So I pull this move. I just get up quietly. I take my pillow, take my phone. I don't say nothing. I just start walking out. She goes, where you going? I go, I'm gonna find another place to sleep. Now, I got house guests, bro. My normal places I go if I need to get quiet are occupied. I got Lana's sister and her husband in the guest house. I got their kid in one of the guest rooms. There's another guest room to go to, but that room is in close proximity to where the dog is, so that's going to travel. I go into my son's room. Now, my son sleeps all over the place. He'll wake up and his head's on the other side of the bed. He's all over the map. So I can't sleep with that. Serafina generally sleeps in one position. So I go and I get in bed with my daughter. I get quiet, though. I want to wake her up. I'm in bed. I got my pillow. There's a camera in the room, and Lana gets a notification if there's movement in the room. So she takes a picture of me. And I didn't think this was funny at the time, but now looking back, it's funny. She takes a picture of me in my underwear getting into bed with my daughter, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

So.

[Patrick]

So she goes, I'm dying. Screenshots of me in bed with my daughter, screenshots of the thing. I go, I text back, I. I am not in a good place right now. Shut it down, bro. There's no text after that, Right? Shut that shit right down. Okay, so 3:30, Serafina wakes up and she goes, daddy. She's just recognizing me that I'm in bed for the first time. Yeah. I go, sorry, I'm sleeping. I go, I'll leave. So, 3:30, I go back to my room, right? I get back into bed, right? 3:30. Alana's alarm rings at 5 because she's working on. So my, my sleep is all screwed up and I can't. I can't be bitching. I can't be bitching about sleep right now sitting next to a man that's been up since fucking Sunday. So.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, yeah, no, but I hear what you say. For a normal person, you've been bouncing around like a five dollar hooker, you know, room to room all night, right? Seriously, man.

[Patrick]

So this is.

[Pete Corrielli]

People roll over and see you in there. You know, even your own daughter, she was giving you like, beat it. That's a. My daughter has never wanted me to sleep. Even though, I mean, I've been laying in bed, the house is shaking from the thunder, and still nothing. And not once did she ever come in and go, can I snuggle in there with you? I'm like, jesus Christ. So you literally turn to your beautiful daughter and go, I'll leave. And she's like, she gives you a good call, dad.

[Patrick]

Well, she was kind of half out of it whatnot. Plus, I wanted to get back to my own bed too. I feel like now is the time. 3:30. 3:30. Nothing. No owls, no dog, no tapping on the phone. Now I re. Enter the bed. I'll be sleeping by myself. I'll be sleeping by myself. Tonight.

[Casey Kasem]

The Pete and Sebastian Show.

[Lonzo Ball]

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[Patrick]

Buzzballs just dropped their biggest blue balls.

[Lonzo Ball]

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[Patrick]

Blue balls just dropped their biggest buzz balls. Ugh.

[Pete Corrielli]

Let's try a vocal exercise.

[Patrick]

Buzz balls. Biggies.

[Lonzo Ball]

Blue balls.

[Patrick]

Buzz balls. Biggies, Blue balls.

[Pete Corrielli]

Big balls just dropped.

[Patrick]

Get blue balls this season with buzz balls.

[Lonzo Ball]

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[Pete Corrielli]

Buzz balls.

[Lonzo Ball]

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[Unknown]

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[Patrick]

So I mean, I feel all right. I feel okay. I think it didn't affect me too much. But going into tonight and I want to bring this up last night, have the house guests, Lana, sister, very nice people, and the brother in law and the daughter, they're here visiting for spring break. This was kind of a last minute trip for them. So I got, you know, I got this podcast. I was doing the Ponzi thing yesterday. I got the thing I'm doing on Thursday. So there's just like a lot going on. So they're here. So last night they were gone the whole day. They came home at 8:30, my bedtime and we're all sitting there talking and I started to get tired so I excused myself. I said, hey, I'm going to go to sleep now. What's your take? If you got house guests, can you tap out, say I'm done Or do you got to wait for the house guests to go, oh, we're tired, we're going to retire. Who makes the decision on when the night is over, the home team or the away team?

[Pete Corrielli]

It's a tough call. It depends on the visit. If it's an extended visit, I feel then you got a right to call it a night early and you got a right to stay up if you want. We'll do what we want to do. You're here for a few days, but if it's like a two day visit and you're going to bed on the second night, it's like, hey, we're leaving in two days and you're going to bed.

[Patrick]

So.

[Pete Corrielli]

But then again you're working. It's midweek, it's different. It's different when you got family or you Got people visiting, and they're retired. I don't know. I can't. I can't really. I'm just blown away that you went to bed that early. In general, you went to bed so early, it almost sounded like a protest towards the guest. You got, like, if I was there, I would have turned to my wife and go, he would have stayed up till 11 if we weren't here. You realize that, right? We're muscling this guy to go to bed in his own home. And I kind of had something else. Don't you find it odd? Because I've had this too, with Jackie. Like, when I do that, you go. I don't say anything. I just grab my pillow and go find another place. You said everything okay, Grabbing your pillow and getting out of the bed. You're saying a lot without saying anything. How come the women in that moment never go, baby, stay here. We'll try to be quieter. They always go, like, take care. Good luck. Hope you find something quieter out there. Right?

[Patrick]

There's no.

[Pete Corrielli]

Like.

[Patrick]

It just. It just. It brings up the point about being sick. If you're sick in your coffin, who leaves the room, right? The sick one or the healthy one? It's the same thing. If you're causing the ruckus in the bedroom with the light on, the tap, dancing on the phone, and you brought the dog into the life, and now it's fucking up my sleep, I would think, hey, we leave the man. It doesn't work that way. You go somewhere else.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's a.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's.

[Pete Corrielli]

And a divorce is an extension of that, right? Like, even that. You get out of the house now. Just get out. You're gone. So it really is, though. And, man, not only that. And like. Like, Jackie's done this to me, too. She was like, oh, you going to the couch? You're not gonna sleep good on the couch, right? So now, man, now I'm really going to the couch. But then, like, the street light off, the street's coming through, so I got to put the shade down in the living room. And it becomes like, God damn, I want to go back to my bed. But now I'm not at a pro, you know, to make. But you're getting in your daughter's bed and your wife is mocking you, sending you photos, mocking you, completely indifferent about.

[Patrick]

Your lack of sleep, looking at me through the camera. What I want to go. What I would like to have happen is. And by the way, there's another thing. How long can you. How long could you. I don't know if. I don't know. If you say this around your house, how long can you say? I just got off the tour. And whatever comes after that. Right? Like, is that. Is that good? Is that good for a week, two weeks? Because I'm gonna be using. I just got off a tour during Christmas time.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, it don't last very long. I tried to use it the other day. You know, they were fighting. Jackie was yelling at Sadie about something. And I'm like, I just got home. I've been first Saturday home. Can we just not yell? And they're both like, beat it.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

So where are we at with these dogs? Are they getting along yet? Are they interacting on their own? Have you left them alone in the home yet?

[Patrick]

No. I mean, this puppy can't be left alone. It's the puppy, you know, it's got to be someone. My sister walks downstairs with him right now.

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, but you can have him in, like, an encased area or something like that. But, like, all right, but how is the dog? How is Luigi around the dog when they are near each other?

[Patrick]

I think he's looking at us to your point, going, what did you just do? We had a great thing going here. You know, I settled in. I was. You know, you take me out for a walk, and now all of a sudden, you add another dog to the mix. What am I supposed to do? He's depressed. I'm telling you. Last night, he was in the corner. He was in a place that he never even goes to last night, laying down, you know, like, normally a dog goes to his place, he's going to places. Now he don't even know where to go.

[Pete Corrielli]

You know what the silver lining is? It is, though, right? What's that? The minute Lana brought home placeholder petunia name, you and Luigi just got tighter.

[Patrick]

You're right. It's brought us closer together. Cause I'm looking at him. Absolutely, bro.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's your dog.

[Patrick]

It's your dog.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's gonna be buried with you when you die. You know, they're gonna take Luigi wherever he's been preserved. They're gonna put him right on your chest, in your coffin.

[Patrick]

We both feel like we've both got our balls cut off and we're no longer the king of the house. That's it. We've been replaced.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's it, bro. It would never happen. You got a wonderful marriage, but God forbid you ever did get divorced. Luigi is the only thing you'll be leaving the home with.

[Patrick]

Yeah, if there was ever divorce, I'M not getting anything. No, that's not, it's just I'm going with a, with a, with a backpack and that's it gone. I'm not going to get Luigi. She's keeping everything.

[Pete Corrielli]

The new dog is a female.

[Patrick]

Now.

[Pete Corrielli]

If Luigi had his balls, do you think he would like sense that this is a relative and not bang it? Or like we would have a white lotus situation?

[Patrick]

I don't know, but I was asking Lon the same thing. I go, does he know it's his half sister or is he looking at this going, man, if I had my nuts, I'd plow this thing.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's it, right? Man. I don't know. Like if two dogs were born and they're licking the same nipple and they never leave each other's sight, well, they reach a certain age and go, let's do. Oh, they'd be like.

[Patrick]

Is there incest in the dog community? Could you look that up, find out if their dogs could tell whether or not they're a father, mother? I don't know how that works, but we'll find that out. So that's what's going on here. In addition, I text you. We were in Austin, Texas, just taking a kind of a three day vacation, but wanted to see what Austin had to offer. Hold on here. Is it common for dogs to inbreed? Majority of dog breeds are highly inbred. Really contributing to the increase in disease and health care. Oh, maybe, maybe this is like dogs that are like roaming around the street in downtown la.

[Lana]

I think breeders.

[Patrick]

Oh, breeders are.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah. No, breeders don't care. I don't think they care. Like if they have. Yeah, you know, they like.

[Patrick]

There are several ways to produce a puppy from a mixture of breeds, including cross breeding, mixed breeding or inter variety main, which is a cross. How to avoid inbreeding. All right then. See this is like when I, when I, when I Google. Right?

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

If it ain't, if it ain't the top choice. I don't go like research down. Do you, do you go and like click other links? Can you breed a sister and brother from different Petco? I ain't clicking on that. Go up to the top. I want to see what the top one is. The top one. This is good.

[Pete Corrielli]

This should be a class in college or high school. What you're saying right now, how to navigate Google? Yeah, because. Because I don't know that you're right. I do a lot of what you're saying too. I assume the number one at the top is the number One. But if you Google and I'm not saying doing this like comedian. I don't know, the first one that came up might not be one I like. Or if you Google Rockstar. Don't do that, don't do that, don't do that, don't do that. I don't even want to do that.

[Patrick]

But put comedian up there. What comes up, just put, put up, stand up comedian and I want to see maybe image. Okay, okay, okay. Well, no, no, no, go back. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay, so the first one that comes up is Bill Burr. But there's a, there's many. It says comedians stand up and they got Mulaney Silverman.

[Pete Corrielli]

Are they in alphabetical order? Maybe B.B.

[Patrick]

No, I mean, great comedian. I'm Craig Warren. Brian Posen. Mike Burton. Is that. Go down, go down. Brian Regan. Bo Burnham. George Carlin. Tony Baker. Guy. Guy. Yeah, guy. We're not, we're not even in this. We're not Giamarco sources.

[Pete Corrielli]

What about you? You there now? No, not yet.

[Patrick]

Well, no, I'm not. We're not, we're not listed.

[Pete Corrielli]

And you, and you, and you go, so like if you're an alien and you came down here and you go, we need to meet the comedian. You go, da, da, da. Bill Burr. We go see Bill Burr because he comes up first. So according to your theory, the aliens will never come visit you or me. Because nobody does a deep dive into Google, bro.

[Patrick]

I think we're being, we're being shadow banned from Patrick. He put in top stand up comedian comedians and nowhere to be found.

[Pete Corrielli]

All right, let's say the alien types this Patrick, half Italian, half Irish, great comedian, underrated. Should be more famous. Should be famous.

[Patrick]

Half Italian, half Irish comedian. Let's see.

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, from Oakdale. Oakdale, New York, Pepperidge Road.

[Patrick]

It doesn't, it doesn't. You don't, you don't come up at all.

[Pete Corrielli]

Dude, I'm hot on duck, duck. Go on, duck, duck, go. I'm like this. I'm huge on that search engine fucking snorted. Okay, so how about Chicago comedian? Gotta be you.

[Patrick]

I'm actually up on this, on the Italian Irish. I come up, Matteo Lane comes up.

[Pete Corrielli]

There you go. If you put Italian comedian, you'll be number one, I bet. Which is huge.

[Patrick]

Is it?

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, I mean, you're the one that like, you know, has this. I disagree with that. Google. See, I disagree with just going off the first bar. There you go, bro. See, you're all over it.

[Patrick]

Okay, there you go. All right, so I go to bed at 9 o'clock. House guests are still here.

[Pete Corrielli]

I think we should need to save Austin for the next episode. We got a lot to get into. There was a snowball effect off of that. I got a fucking for sale sign in my front lawn. Now because of you going to Austin. I hammered it in today. We'll get into that next episode, okay?

[Patrick]

Okay, well, we'll save that for next week. All right, so I've been talking your ear off. What's going on at the Coriali house? What do we got first?

[Pete Corrielli]

Let's start with this, because I do make fun of the outfit. Although you still didn't get into the sailing thing. I know we're getting into that, but it's a nice sweatshirt. I think I got a decent sweatshirt on, but I'm going to show you. I took this photo. I think it was on my way home from the Florida gig. We did lay over in Chicago. This epitomizes America and American, the way. The way we carry ourselves. I. I just literally was in the bathroom. I looked over and I had to take this shot because it just show up. Can you please put it up, Patrick? This is.

[Patrick]

This is.

[Pete Corrielli]

This is America. Can I see it, Patrick? There you go. Flip, flip flops. Taking a dump. I don't give a shit if you're going away on spring break. You put your flip flops on when you get to the goddamn resort. Yeah, taking a dump in flip flops. I hope the water splashed out, landed on your toe, and then somehow I don't know.

[Patrick]

No, I agree. I agree. I don't. I don't. And I don't know if we'd ever discussed this on the cast before, but if. How do you dress going to the airport for climate? Let's say you're in Chicago and it's zero degrees and you're going to Florida. Do you dress in winter clothes or do you dress in summer clothes? So you're ready to go right from ground zero. What's your take on clothing options and climate when traveling?

[Pete Corrielli]

I think it's a compromise. I think this is how it goes. When I'm going to the airport in Chicago in zero degrees, I'm wearing a light jacket over a sweater or over maybe like a light sweater. So I'm a little cold, but I know I'm gonna be in a car and then quick in the airport. Then when I land, I'm gonna take. Those things will be stuffed in my bag. And then I'll have jeans on and a T shirt. Now I'm gonna be A little hot, but I know I'm gonna get to the hotel soon and I'll change. But this. These people get off the fucking plane in their bathing suits.

[Casey Kasem]

Jesus.

[Pete Corrielli]

Right? I mean, what. They're like, literally putting a suntan lotion on in their seat as they're landing. I mean, fucking. Just the class. There is no more class in America. It's gone. LeBron James was warming up the other day with no shirt on in the arena. It's done. It's over.

[Patrick]

It's done. No, I agree. I totally agree that the clothing that people are wearing is so casual and so comfortable that, like, there is no regard for any other people. Like, people have to see that, right? Like, when he put that on, right? Did he go, oh, yeah. This is just comfortable to walk, by the way, walking through the airport. There's a lot of steps involved. How is that comfortable to be walking with flip flops? And God forbid, if your plane is late, what are you going to do? Run through the airport and flip flops?

[Pete Corrielli]

Someone like that has no problem taking them off and doing a barefoot run. I don't even get it. What is the point of it? Do you hate wearing shoes? You just hate tying them? Like, I don't. The only thing you have to cover now, because now I'm seeing the women, literally, with the bikini right up the ass crack. That's it, bro. Right there. You gotta cover your ass whole. That's the only thing truly required to be covered anymore is the whole of your ass like that. Put a little piece of cloth right in your. And that's how Kanye's wife dresses. That's how that lady dresses. Just puts a little piece of cloth over her.

[Patrick]

Yeah, it's like. It's like. It's not even. It's like a plug. It's like a. It's like a band aid.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's it. That's it. I'm gonna start selling corks that you just stick up your. I got a cork store. Gucci corks. They're Gucci and product corks for your ass.

[Patrick]

Oh, God.

[Pete Corrielli]

Give us the duck, Patrick. We gave him too much today.

[Patrick]

All right.

[Pete Corrielli]

Hey, yeah, we gotta go. You gotta go check on you. You ready? Dogs with an S. Oh, God. That's what you got to start saying now. We gotta go feed the dogs.

[Patrick]

Oh, I know, I know. Oh, God, bro. Yeah. Okay, let me. Let me regroup. Next week, Pete and Sebastian, we are here. We are ready, and we're coming at you with with another sweatshirt that's gonna wait till you see what I got on next show.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh my. The show has ended. You went to bed so early it almost sounded like a protest towards the guest you got.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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