659: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 659 - "It's Getting Old"

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Pete and Sebastian Show - Episode 659: "It's Getting Old"

Release Date: June 17, 2025

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1. Introduction to the Episode

In Episode 659 of "The Pete and Sebastian Show," hosts Pete Corrieli and Sebastian Maniscalco delve into the humorous and relatable challenges that come with aging. From changes in sleep patterns to the complexities of maintaining relationships and professional commitments, the duo offers a candid and comedic take on growing older.

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2. Aging and Sleep Patterns

The conversation kicks off with both hosts discussing their struggles with sleep as they age. Sebastian shares his experiences:

Sebastian Maniscalco [05:09]: "I'm doing like gorilla yawns at two o'clock, you know, it's like, mouth open, trying to get some oxygen."

Pete echoes similar sentiments about morning sluggishness:

Pete Corrieli [05:36]: "Like, I can't lift something heavier at 4pm than I can at 7:30am what the fuck is that about?"

They humorously explore how their bodies no longer cooperate as they once did, highlighting the universal experience of feeling "old."

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3. Funny Anecdotes About Napping

Sebastian introduces the concept of "performance naps," blending meditation with actual napping:

Sebastian Maniscalco [10:35]: "Everyone's like, oh, I'm meditating. It's like, no, just let's call it what it is. We're napping."

The hosts share hilarious stories about napping in unconventional places. Sebastian recounts an incident where he tried to nap in his car during his son's school Olympics:

Sebastian Maniscalco [07:57]: "I was a little concerned that while I'm sleeping, I'm starting to look as if I'm dead."

Pete adds his own tale about attempting to nap at his sister's college dorm:

Pete Corrieli [12:04]: "He got a parking ticket while he was napping. He was so... writes him up while he."

These stories underscore the lengths to which they go to catch some rest, often leading to humorous misunderstandings.

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4. Image and Perception: Tom Cruise

Shifting gears, the duo discusses the enigmatic image of Tom Cruise. Pete describes a viral video showcasing Cruise's energetic arrival at a premiere:

Pete Corrieli [23:38]: "He opens up the side door, and then he grabs the side roof, and 1, 2, 3, he pulls himself up and stands on the roof of the SUV just waving to everybody."

Sebastian humorously contemplates Cruise's unflappable persona:

Sebastian Maniscalco [24:46]: "I think this level of cool starts from the moment he gets out of bed... he puts his hair back, shakes it, and he's off for the day."

Their admiration for Cruise's consistent image serves as a contrast to their own everyday struggles with aging.

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5. Incident at the Church Parking Lot

Pete narrates a tense encounter he had while donating clothes at a local church's parking lot:

Pete Corrieli [28:00]: "I felt physically threatened by another man. He was walking towards me with a not nice expression, so I yelled out, 'What is your problem?'"

Sebastian chimes in, pointing out that Pete might have been overreacting:

Sebastian Maniscalco [33:05]: "You started it. You started it."

They reflect on the awkwardness of the situation, acknowledging the discomfort that comes from misinterpretations and premature judgments.

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6. Miscommunication About Yankees Tickets

A significant portion of the episode centers around a text message misunderstanding between Pete and Sebastian regarding Yankees tickets. Sebastian explains how he reached out to Pete for assistance in securing tickets for a listener named John Petrelli:

Sebastian Maniscalco [34:09]: "John Petrelli is looking for Yankees tickets. Let me just read it verbatim."

Pete initially perceives Sebastian's request as curt and dismissive:

Pete Corrieli [36:25]: "I know you're mad, but whatever."

However, as the conversation progresses, they realize it was a simple miscommunication. Pete explains he had the contact saved under a different name, leading to the confusion. The episode highlights the importance of clear communication, especially when favors and professional relationships are involved.

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7. Plans for Retirement and Stand-Up Careers

Towards the end of the episode, Pete contemplates his future in stand-up comedy, drawing parallels with Johnny Carson's retirement:

Pete Corrieli [49:30]: "I made a decision. If I'm where I want to be at 60 doing my last show, I'm still gonna make people laugh."

Sebastian encourages Pete, suggesting that good comedians only get better with age:

Sebastian Maniscalco [50:13]: "If you're a good comic, you get even better."

Their discussion reflects a mutual respect for each other's careers and the inevitable transitions that come with aging.

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8. Mention of Billy Joel's Fall

In a brief yet poignant moment, the hosts touch upon Billy Joel's unfortunate fall during a performance:

Pete Corrieli [48:56]: "Billy fell. He fell on stage, and it's been not good since. Had to cancel a bunch of shows."

This mention serves as a somber reminder of the physical vulnerabilities that come with age, even for seasoned performers.

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9. Conclusion

Episode 659 of "The Pete and Sebastian Show" offers a blend of humor and heartfelt conversations about aging, personal challenges, and the dynamics of maintaining relationships both personally and professionally. Through their candid exchanges and humorous anecdotes, Pete and Sebastian provide listeners with both laughs and relatable insights into the journey of getting older.

Notable Quotes:

• Sebastian [05:09]: "I'm doing like gorilla yawns at two o'clock."
• Pete [05:36]: "I can't lift something heavier at 4pm than I can at 7:30am."
• Sebastian [10:35]: "We're napping."
• Pete [23:38]: "He pulls himself up and stands on the roof of the SUV just waving."
• Pete [49:30]: "I made a decision. If I'm where I want to be at 60 doing my last show..."
• Sebastian [50:13]: "If you're a good comic, you get even better."

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For more insights and humorous takes on everyday life, tune into "The Pete and Sebastian Show" every week.

Transcript

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[Pete Corrieli]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Cause right now I'm lying in bed.

[Pete Corrieli]

Just like Brian Wilson bed. Well, I have.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson bed. Pete and Sebastian show. Beautiful Friday afternoon here in Los Angeles. A 85 degree day. Sun is shining. Hasn't seen the sun in a while here. Been kind of gloomy and don't know where to start today, man. Kind of coming off my father being here. Got a weekend packed with nonsense.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Where are we at over there?

[Pete Corrieli]

Same. Same place as you, man. I mean I'm taping next week that, that our special and I'm like overthinking everything, which is annoying, but I, I'm looking forward to getting on stage and getting, Just getting going. Yeah. Other than that, you know, it's like. Clock's ticking, bro. Clock is ticking. You gotta find your happiness, bro. You gotta. You can't. We can't mess around anymore, you know? You know, that's, that's, that's my theory on all that, but it's gonna be a long afternoon. Right now.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm trying to figure out where to start here.

[Pete Corrieli]

I hope your dad wasn't. Didn't get mad when I was trying to encourage him to retire.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No. So to fill you guys in on the backstory here, my father came up to Las Vegas over the weekend, and Pete, you know, and I've been telling him to retire for the last five years, but, you know, my dad's never going to retire because it's something for him to do. He doesn't have hobbies. He doesn't. You know, he's not that guy. I know you were trying to tell him that. You know, you don't know what you like because you never take time off to find out what you like. But he's not the type of guy to retire. Although, I don't know, he. He looked beat out in Las Vegas. I think, you know, he's. The days of, like, working, hopping on a plane, going to Vegas. He needs like 48 to 72 hours to, like, to regain his spirit.

[Pete Corrieli]

Right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So.

[Pete Corrieli]

And plus, you got the time difference too.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, but, like, how long are you gonna blame it on the time difference? You know, like, Lana, yesterday was looking at me and I was like. I'm like, man, I'm exhausted. She's like, well, you just got off a tour. I go, how long? How long we gonna say, just got off, it's over, we're off.

[Pete Corrieli]

I know, man. That's funny. I'm tired a lot lately. A lot lately. Like when I first wake up, my bone, like, I can't lift the amount of weight. Like I can lift something heavier at 4pm than I can at 7:30am what the fuck is that about? Can you explain that? Like, I'm up, but my muscles aren't yet. That's weird.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I. I know, I know. Right out of bed, you can't ask me to do much. You know, it's. It takes. It takes a while for the engine to start. And I think that's just an age thing. And then, you know, one 32 o' clock, I start yawning like it's nine at night and it's time to go to Bed. Like, I'm doing like gorilla yawns at two o' clock, you know, it's like, mouth open, trying to get some oxygen. Are you doing that?

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, big ones. Big mom now, too. At night, for my whole life being married, I'd be like, are you ready to go to bed, baby? Or she'd be like, you want to go to bed? Or like, now I'm, I'm like, just announcing at like 10:01, I just pop up. I'm like, I'm going to bed. Like, you, like, you do what you want. I'm out. I'm done. I'm tapped out. And it's like, I don't, I. I don't like, like I can't drink as much beer without it getting fattening. I can't have as much bad food without, like, I don't like this kind of aspect of getting old. I don't like these compromises I'm starting to have to make. It's making life less fun.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I hear you, man. We must be living in a parallel universe over here. Lately, I don't know why this is, but I have wine, and wine has always caused me to be a little lethargic and lack of energy in the morning. But now it's like I'm drinking the wine and I'm like, I don't even want to be drinking this. Like, I don't even want to be doing it. And then I forced myself the other night. I go, let me relax. Whatever. Had a glass too many yesterday. Shot done. Like, I took. Here's one. I went to go pick up my son at school, but I was early. So I pulled over on a side street and took a nap in my car.

[Pete Corrieli]

I've done that. I've done that. I do it right at the school with, with sunglasses on.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And I'm like, I put sunglasses on because I, I felt if, if I had sunglasses on, no one knowing I was sleeping. Right. But it's hard to do that when your mouth is open and you got sunglasses on.

[Pete Corrieli]

Oh, yeah. Well, the problem too is I don't want my daughter, like, you know, like, I got the doors locked, even if I even leave them unlocked. I think it's tacky. Like, she gets in the car and has to wake her dad up to drive her home. So, like, I'm. I'm setting my alarm on my phone, on my wall, on my phone for like five to three minutes prior to when I think she'll come out of the building so that I'm like, well, that's when you know you're old, bro. You're doing the. You're doing the Biden, waiting for your daughter to come out.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't even do it on site, bro. I don't do it on site. I do it. I do. Six blocks away from the school, right? Oh, but the other day, talk about yesterday, bro. I got up and there was a guy staring at me. And I thought to myself, this is what happened to Michael Jordan's father.

[Pete Corrieli]

I was gonna say that when you were done with your speaking here, because you're parking on the side of the road in LA to take a nap in. I would imagine a Porsche. Jesus. I mean, why don't you just put a sign on the windshield saying, carjack me now?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's insane. And before that, they gave me another one. I went, this is sad. Yesterday I went to grocery shopping. After I dropped the kids off, I knocked one out in the grocery store parking lot. 20 minute, I'm sleeping in parking lots all over Los Angeles.

[Pete Corrieli]

You're like three or four years, whatever it is, younger than me. I know. You know what. Exactly what it is. But my point is, I remember, like, those years ago, we had an episode season, maybe eight of the cast, and I started saying that I'm napping. Like, I'm napping when they were changing my oil. I'm napping in the waiting room, and I'm banging out naps all over. And you were like, what? What are you talking about? And now you're getting. You're seeing it, right? You bang a map, bro. You know what you're really doing? Technically, you're TD ing it all over the place. You're doing transcendental in the car. That's what you.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No. Well, it starts as that, and it ends up into a nap, which I think this meditation thing is just another word for nap, right?

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Everybody's like, oh, I'm meditating. It's like, no, just let's call it what it is. We're napping.

[Pete Corrieli]

That's it. And there's nothing wrong with that. You don't got to give it a fancy name and pretend you're like some Indian, you know, what do you call that guy with the glasses? Gandhi type guy. You know, you're not doing teenagers. You're taking a nap. But you're starting your nap with one word, like bird.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Bird. And I feel if you wake up out of that, you say bird at the end of the nap. That's. That's a meditation. That's a full wraparound. If you open with the word and then with the word, you're good to go. So I'm napping all over la.

[Pete Corrieli]

Good for you. My dad, God bless him, when we went to see my sister once in college, he took a nap in the car. He didn't want to come into the dorm with us to, like, we were gonna just see something she made and then we're going to get lunch. He's like, I'll just wait in the car. We came back to the car, he got a parking ticket while he was napping. He was so. He's like. He said, what kind of cop don't even knock on the window to tell you to move? You know, writes him up while he'.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So do you think if you were sleeping on the side of the road in a parking meter and it expired, do you think you would be so deep in asleep that you wouldn't even like. Yeah, because sometimes when you're sleeping, you're sleeping, but then let's say if a shadow comes across you, maybe you wake up. Do you think you would wake up if you were getting a ticket underneath? You think you would hear the guy pull up your.

[Pete Corrieli]

No, I don't think so. I mean, if I'm doing a deep sleep. I mean, when you fell asleep in either one of these scenarios you explained, did you have that where you woke up and didn't know where you were for a sec, or. No, you always knew.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Put it this way, I was startled. Startled.

[Pete Corrieli]

You could have got the ticket. You could have got the ticket then, bro. You were in deep, remember? Right, JJ1. But when I go for a performance nap, it's. It's lights out, like you just slept for the night and you're popping up ready to go for the day.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Pete. I just, I. I'm incorporating a performance nap into my whole vocabulary now. I'm gonna tell Lana I'm going down for a performance nap.

[Pete Corrieli]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Pete Corrieli]

All right, you mentioned that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, so I went down to do a meditation. All right. I said to Lana there was like a little break where the kids weren't doing any activities. I go, I'm going to knock out a 20 minute meditation. So I went in the parking garage downstairs. Now Lana forgot, really that I went to go. And she came down because she needed something out of the car and took a photo of me. Now here's the photo. Now I'm concerned that while I'm sleeping, I'm starting to look as if I'm dead. When I was younger in my twenties and you caught me sleeping, you'd be like, oh, he's just resting.

[Pete Corrieli]

Now.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

If somebody passed the car, I feel like they would have to go, should I call an ambulance or is he taking a nap?

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, it does look like a cadaver. Well, but you know why, bro, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No.

[Pete Corrieli]

Well, it's because people die at your age. So it's not uncommon to see somebody that age with that skin situation dead. You know, I mean, me, same thing. I look dead. I look dead when I'm talking. But that seems like it would be a good, I don't know, five to $7,000. Page Six photo that seemed that might be worth some Ted, right? I think a paparazzi could get, get a little sale on that One man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, wow. Yeah. So I'm. Has Jackie ever taken a picture of you? Have you seen yourself sleeping lately? No.

[Pete Corrieli]

That's a good question. No, I haven't.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I haven't. This is your homework. You gotta tell Jackie to snap a photo of you in bed sleeping, because I want to see what you look like resting.

[Pete Corrieli]

All right? Yeah, I haven't been getting good sleep lately. My back has been acting up. But anyway, so you go in the car and you. You start to say your thing or do you just go in there and take a nap?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I started to say my thing, but here I started, and again I was gone five minutes and I was. I was out cold, so.

[Pete Corrieli]

You don't look half dead when you're alive. That's good. Yeah. Seriously, man, you were looking good out in Vegas, man. That was a fun time.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Let's speak about Las Vegas. So you and I. I've never seen you in this form, and. And I don't know if this is vacation Pete or what, but you were dedicated on getting sun. So much so. And I wish I snapped a picture of this.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Where we were become. Became shaded in the cabana we were in.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And you were disappointed that the sun wasn't hitting you, so at one point you went out, you closed your eyes, and I never seen this move before. You did a stand in tan.

[Pete Corrieli]

Well, that's the beauty of the Vegas sun, man. You can get color in 5 minutes just standing there. It's so goddamn hot. But, yeah, I did do the standing tan. Two things with that. One is we've had such a lack of sun this for so long where I live, it's, like, devastating, man. It's. I don't know, man. We got to rethink everything where we live. But the second thing is, I saw a guy on Instagram, can't remember his name or anything, but. And I thought this was fascinating. He was, like, going on about, how do plants live with sunlight? You know what would happen if you put sunscreen on a plant? It would die. That's what would happen. And that's what you're doing when you put sunscreen on. You're killing yourself, denying your body what it needs. It craves the sun. It needs the energy of the sun to live, bro. By the time he was done, I was like, anyone using sunblock is, you know, wasting your time. Unless you. Unless you're full Irish and you're going to burn to death. But like, this guy, he got me convinced that the sun hitting you is as important as Drinking water.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Listen, I'm a big proponent of sunlight and I didn't get as much sun as I wanted to. I was using sunscreen in Las Vegas, which is a sin, but.

[Pete Corrieli]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, yeah. Was golfing and. And had it.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, you got it with the golf.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's too much, too much, too much. So, yeah, so I saw stand in 10. We met a cast listener and this was shocking, bro. The woman was 80 years old and she listens to the cast. I forget her name. Was it Rosa? She came into the cabin.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yes. Something similar to your mom. Not exactly the same, but yeah, something like that. Rosie, Rosa.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Rosie, Rosa Maria something. Really sweet lady from Italy and loves the cast. So it's multi generational, this cast. You get an 80 year old and you get a 10 year old and everybody in between. So it was good to see her out there.

[Pete Corrieli]

There's a lot of cast listeners floating around there. They just, you know, when I went out and about to like tan in the sun and stuff, but they're not going to come up to the cabana.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, it was good. Good weekend in Las Vegas.

[Pete Corrieli]

Well, I want to ask the listeners, okay. And I don't know where they leave their responses to this, but there was a situation and it's like, if you ever wonder what we're like when we're not doing the cast, the relationship is exactly, exactly the same as the cast. It's unbelievable. There's at one point I go to eat a bag of potato chips that are in the cabana, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. You still got the wrong attitude about this. All right, so there's a bag of potato chips. I open them up. I'm having a couple potato chips. So then Dom, the guy who owns a cheese shop, who I got to spend some time with him in Vegas, what a great guy. And also the doctor was there, Sebastian's Dr. Scott, who's also just a phenomenal, great guy. And we're having a nice time. All but they each go into the bag of potato chips. Right now I got other men's hands and they're going down. They're doing the twists to try and dig in to get a bunch to come. So after the third dig, there was a Wind magazine on the table. Now Sebastian's talking to his dad over here. I take the potato chips and I dump them on the magazine. So now we can all just pick. Nice. As soon as I dumped him, Sebastian go, yeah, dad and P, what are you doing? Right? And I couldn't believe the disconnect. I'm like, what am I doing? I'm keeping men from digging in. In the bag like animals. Now we can all just pick off the magazine. And you were acting like people were wiping their ass with that magazine, bro. Yeah, I don't know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

To have. To have potato chips just littered on the table over a magazine. I've never seen something as white trash.

[Pete Corrieli]

Wow.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

As that, bro. I mean, the move here is you get the server and go, hey, you may get a plate area. I want to put these on the. On the. On the plate. But a magazine? I told you I felt like it was at a fraternity house.

[Pete Corrieli]

Wow. Wow. I. I guess, you know, it's. I respect that about you. That. But it's. It's a hassle. It's a hassle you constantly. What do you mean? No, what do you mean? I gotta wait for the guy to come with a bowl? You saw how long it took him to bring you. And great service. Great service at that place. It was very busy. It was Memorial Day weekend. But it took quite a while for you to get your smoothie with the peanut butter. I'm asking for a bowl to put potato chips in the guy. The guy would probably be saying to himself, just dump them on the magazine. Holy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Filthy piece of white trash.

[Pete Corrieli]

By the way, speaking of image, somebody sent me. Listener sent us some clips of Tom Cruise, bro. This guy is never. And I know some people getting tired of us talking about him. I hear it and all. I don't. Do you think he's aware of his image at all times? Or do you think that's just how he lives his life? Like, just that level of cool? Because, like, did you. I don't even have this video. This one wasn't sent me. But did you see the one where he's in another country and he's in an SUV going real slow down the road for his premiere? He's showing up for his premiere, and the SUV stops. He opens up the side door, and then he grabs the side roof, the roof of the car and the door. And 1, 2, 3, he pulls himself up and one thing. Onto the roof of the car. And he's standing on the roof of the suv just waving to everybody. Then he walked in a suit. Then he walks back over, hops back down off the Tahoe and gets in the back, and they drive off. It would take me a half hour to get on the roof of my Tahoe in sweats. In sweatpants.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. I think this level of cool starts from the moment he gets out of bed the way he must get out of bed. I would assume that he gets out of bed, puts his feet on the floor and just sits there, right? And just takes his hair and puts it back, right? And then he says a shake and he's off on his day. And there's no, there's no swearing, is no nothing. There's no like, you know, I get out of bed, it's like, yeah, it takes me, I got to do like a body assessment. Going to the bathroom, right? Yeah, I get it in a couple clicks in the ankles. You ever get like a. Yeah, like sounds and then to the bathroom and like, okay, how long is the piss gonna take, bro? I'm pissing north of a minute. Every time I go, I don't know what's wrong.

[Pete Corrieli]

Wow, you're getting old, man. I don't know. Does Tommy C. Go through any of these things? I just found news the other day that blew my mind. My own father in law, who's 87 years old does a hundred sit ups before he gets out of his bed. And my mother in law goes, I tell him that's not good in a saggy bed to do them there. And my father in law is like, I don't get out until I do them. I've been doing this for 20 years.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh my God, man, that's fascinating. I've never heard of a man doing sit ups in the bed.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, I know, I know, man. This guy, guy goes to the gym at 5:30 in the morning. He's 87 years old and he's in the gym at 5:30 in the Morning.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But it's working, it's working. He's still living.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, so, and these clicks that you talk about, I used to move my own body and it would make a click. Then you move it two more times, it would click a little lighter. By the third time, the clicking's gone. Now the clicking don't go away. It just keeps clicking every. Whatever, man. I feel like I got 20 good ones left and I'm gonna enjoy every minute of them, man. I'll tell you this, I don't know what's going to happen, man, but I want to have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames. All right, all right.

[Advertiser]

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[Pete Corrieli]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Pete Corrieli]

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[Pete Corrieli]

See mintmobile.com I'm talking to my element. I'll let you go here. Hold on. I, I did something I hadn't done in years the other day. I'm embarrassed by this and it, it was embarrassed. It didn't go over as well as I thought. I called, I went to the precinct, I went to the police precinct because I felt physically threatened by another man on Tuesday.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

In Fredonia.

[Pete Corrieli]

In Fredonia. Let me, let me walk you through this. So there's a church down the block from me and in the back of the church is a place where you can put clothes for the needy. You know, thrifty, you dump them in. So I got the car and I got all these T shirts I want to dump in there, right? I drive over there. When I get back there, there's a bike. It's not even a dumpy bike, it's a decent bike. And then, and then I'm like, I don't want to do this bike to this. And then as I get closer to the thing where you dump your clothes in, there's a guy there, he's a black kid, he's got to be about mid-20s. And he's a big, big dude and he's got a giant bag on his back and like a big, big duffel bag. And I think he was in the thing getting clothes, which, you know, I'm thinking, good for him. Why wait till he gets to the thrift shop? You know, that's what they're there for. I don't give a shit. So I go, I dump my clothes in and then I got the dog and it's A beautiful day. And there's all grass and woods behind the shed where you dump your stuff. So I was like. I was gonna walk him. I was like, screw it. I'll just throw him a ball. Here I go, Duke, get out. I open the door and he runs behind the shed and all this grass. Now when I get behind the shed, I notice an even bigger bag. And I'm like, oh, this must be home base for this dude that I see in the parking lot. And again, I don't care. But I'm like, I hope he doesn't think I'm fucking with a shit. So I come out, like, I come back out around the bend, and now he's slowly walking towards me, but he's walking towards me with, like, not a nice. Not smiling. And he's coming towards me and like. But not fast, but there's nothing else around me. There's no reason to come in my direction. There's nothing there. So I'm like, let me just. Let me just get out of here. So I go do gay. And I get Duke, I get him in the car, and I climb in the car and he's still maybe 20 yards away, right? And I get in the car and he starts walking faster towards me. And I got the window down and I go. I look at him and I go very nicely, why do you keep looking at me? And he goes, you got a problem?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You.

[Pete Corrieli]

You got a problem? Come here. And he starts running towards his car. So I drive further up so he can't get at me, and I yell out, the fuck is your problem? And he's like, yelling like that. So I go home and I'm telling Jack I was a fucking dude tried to, like, just yelling at me and putting the clothes in. So she goes, did you? You should tell the cops. And I'm like, you know, we are. We're Karens, right? That's what we are right there.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So you're gonna go tattletail.

[Pete Corrieli]

And that's. That's how I felt, bro. But now I'm gonna say something that's even cheesier and so lame that people say. But I'm saying it. I got kids, man. What if my kids. Riding a bike down that back parking lot area, which is right by us, and that dude's back there, you know, I would just get eyes and ears on this guy, see what's going on. So I go into precinct and I knock on and listen. The cops are great. I'm. I'm the biggest fan of cops that ever live and the lady female officer was nice who filled out the report, but she had a look like, oh, like what? You just said you entitled. Did he make you nervous when you were putting your T shirts in the bin? I mean, halfway through describing him, I almost wanted to go, yeah, forget it. And then she goes, so, do you want to. Do you want to fill out a report? And I go, what? No, I ain't feeling the report. I go, just letting you know that there's a dude over there, and it's, like, trying to fight people.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's it.

[Pete Corrieli]

I don't care what you do.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So you had to go through, like. And, sir, what did he look like? Well, he was in his mid-20s. He was a black individual with blue jeans and a gray sweater.

[Pete Corrieli]

Oh, yeah, and he had a yellow headband on. And what color was his bike? I go, I believe it was black, but don't quote me on that. Oh, my God. The cop probably beat. He went like this. Da, da, da, da. And then. And they go, okay, we'll take care of that. Bye. Bye. Went back to eating his lunch. I even stood by my house because you'd have to drive past my house to get down to where he was, because they go, you think he's still there? He might be. He looked like he was heading towards his bicycle, though. And I'm sitting out there wondering, is a cop car gonna go by? And I'm like, this obviously isn't. Isn't a priority.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, this goes part of age, bro. You're napping. And this is all really coinciding together. You're napping on the street. You're going to the police department to file reports on vagrants looking for clothes.

[Pete Corrieli]

And even saying it back to you. Where was the harassment?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

None. You started it. You started it. I'm surprised he didn't report you guys screaming out his window with his dog, yelling at me. What's my problem?

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, I felt cheesy about it when I did it, but you're right, dude. It's all.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't know.

[Pete Corrieli]

All right? This is a lame show. Come on, man. Young at heart, bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, no, no. Nothing lame about it. So I. I would save in this for the cast. And I know what you. I know you know what I'm going to bring up. So to give the listeners and Patrick kind of a backstory here, last week, I text Pete. I said to Pete, I said, listen, you know the guy, you know at the Yankees?

[Pete Corrieli]

Oh, you're bringing that up? Okay.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I thought it'd be good fodder for the cats.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, all right, all right. Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I said, you know the guy you know at the Yankees. Let me just read it verbatim.

[Pete Corrieli]

Because the guy that you know now, too. The guy that you know now. And also.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

See, you're getting all hot. You're getting all fucking hot.

[Pete Corrieli]

I knew you were hot. I knew you. You were annoyed in the. In the text. I want you to know that. I knew that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, I know you knew that. That's why I went. That went silent.

[Pete Corrieli]

And like, you always go silent.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, I went dead. I went dead. Like, I died. Listen, this is the text. This is the text. John Petrelli is looking for Yankees tickets. Anyway, can you hook him up with your guy over there? We met him twice backstage. John wants to take his family right now. This. This came now. I'm gonna. I'm gonna tell you this.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What? So you get this. And I know you. You're like that mother. Are you fucking kidding me? This is. This is. Hold on.

[Pete Corrieli]

If you really thought I was like that. Dude, look at.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Look at. Well, look at this. Tell me what the fuck you think after getting something like that. Lindsay has his contact. Have her reach out on your behalf. I'm sure she'll do it. Hey, I'm asking you the fuck right there. I got a rash right down my spine. Right. So.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yes. You're missing the point. You totally. My point of that was Lindsay had established a relationship with Tony. So because he came twice to your show, you did. You did a favor for Tony by getting the manager of the Yankees. So by Lindsay asking Tony, you're gonna get set up if I ask. I don't. I never did anything for Tony like you. He. You got him into your show. You hooked the guy up very nicely, like.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You got him back there. I. You're the one that brought him to us. We didn't reach out to this guy.

[Pete Corrieli]

No, the second time he came to your show, I didn't even know he was going to be there. Lindsay set the whole thing up.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I know, but the first time. What I'm saying is that contact originated with you. It has nothing to do with me. And Lindsey is your guy. Right? You're a guy.

[Pete Corrieli]

I don't see it that way.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You got tickets from this guy to go to the Yankees. Did you notice?

[Pete Corrieli]

I did, but he's asked, he said a zillion times he'd do the same thing for you, too. He's a fan of the cast is how it started.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay?

[Pete Corrieli]

You yell at me, then I yell back, and then you do that to me to calm down.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm.

[Pete Corrieli]

I'm. Only thing that bothers me is that you think I meant that rudely, because I didn't mean it really. I just meant it like, you're gonna get set up much better if you go through Lindsay, because if I go through me.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

We're not even done with the fucking text thread, bro.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, we're not even. Got meaner.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, wait, so I don't say anything to that. To the whole Lindsay thing. Then he pipes in.

[Pete Corrieli]

Now, I know you're mad, but whatever.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Now I get now. Now this is the way I'm reading it. Might not be the way you're saying it, but this is why I'm reading it. Oh, looking for his contact now, but it's not in my contacts.

[Pete Corrieli]

I'll.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'll find it, though. This is. This is me reading how you like. You came off with the have Lindsay do it. Then you felt, hey, that was a little. Let. Let me. Let me pad it with. Let me. I'm looking for his contact now. Now I'm sitting over here thinking, looking for his guy. You got the contact. Don't act like you don't got the contact.

[Pete Corrieli]

This is great. This is great.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is great. It's in your phone, but you got this guy. If you. If you wanted to go to the Yankees game tomorrow, you'd have the contact. Now you're looking for it.

[Pete Corrieli]

I could totally. This is. So I don't want to show you my phone because it's gonna be a pain in the ass. But number one, I thought. When I thought about. I'm like, wait, Lindsay might not still have the guy's contact because, you know, she doesn't keep every. I don't know. So then I went to look on the Tony's name, and it wasn't there. And I'm like, what the hell? So that's when I was like, let me tell him I'm looking for it. So then I started scrolling and looking and looking, and I forgot I put it under Yankees guy. And then below that, Tony. And I never changed it once I got to know Tony better. So it was under Y. So I'm not lying. I'm not lying. Dude, relax. So I found it, okay?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

He found it. So I hit him with this. And this is how this came out. This is how you were supposed to receive this text. Never mind, bro. I'll handle it. Wow.

[Pete Corrieli]

That's how I. That's exactly how I took it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

All right? So now I get. And this put me over the edge. Sorry, man.

[Pete Corrieli]

So nice.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I only asked for tickets for myself. Hey, whoa. Again, I'm sorry.

[Pete Corrieli]

Taking it the wrong way again. Oh. I even explained it in the text. Listen, folks, you're gonna hear this now. It all makes sense, listeners.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't have enough pull beyond that. I'm not on that level. Ha ha ha. Unless they were literally for you. I could only ask for me.

[Pete Corrieli]

Beautiful.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Now, you know, I take that. This is how I take that. I take that as. And this might not even be the case, but this is how I'm hearing it. I ain't gonna waste a favor and John Petrelli or you, because the next time I want to go to the Yankees game, this favor that I'm going to do is going to possibly jeopardize the favor I need for myself. Is there any truth to that? Because I've been in this position.

[Pete Corrieli]

No, there's not, but I could. That's a. I could see how you would think that. But if there was any truth to that, I would have already gotten my brother and his boys tickets to the Yankees. I. I don't feel. It's so weird to me to go to a guy who's done something for me to go, hey, can you get two tickets from my friend that you don't know? That's like, I'm not. I'm sorry, I'm not, like, famous. I'm not, like, I don't have anything in return. It is because I can't give him something in return at that level. Like, if he goes.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You already gave him. He came back and he. We got him tickets to the thing, didn't we?

[Pete Corrieli]

Right. Yeah. Okay, but.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So you gave him a favor already.

[Pete Corrieli]

Well, I guess I could have said, sebastian has a friend who wants the tickets, but that's why I was saying the. Lindsay would have been a better way to go about that, I thought. But I really didn't mean it the way you took it, man. I literally meant it. Like, I wouldn't ask on behalf of anyone but me, but I could for you again, because you're a star. So, like, if I ask you, you know, that's a different thing, but, like, to just randomly ask. I wasn't comfortable doing that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

All right? So then I had to go and fucking handle this, right?

[Pete Corrieli]

Which probably took 10 seconds.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I go back, I tell John is the ticket. It's the tickets. You get in. They get an email, this and that. So. So he got his tickets. He got his tickets.

[Pete Corrieli]

Beautiful.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And. Oh, there's one more text. Oh, then I get the Tony from Yankees found it, right? You sent me. You sent me his. Now now it's. Now it's a. He's. Now it's a chore for me to do. I gotta contact this fucking guy.

[Pete Corrieli]

So then, Lindsay, can you help me out here? I wanna.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Go ahead and I just remember. Here's another one that fucking burned my balls. And I just remember Lindsay hooked the manager of the Yankees up with tickets to see and meet you. Shit, bro, you could get John's boys in the dugout mid game.

[Pete Corrieli]

That's great. What I don't understand what is wrong with any of that. I'm really. It's right up there with the potato chips on the wind magazine.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay? So I asked Pete to do me this favor. I got a fucking rigmarole now. Let me. Let me take you to Vegas, which I do. This is. I asked Pete to do a solid and he came through. I asked Pete to come to a dinner with me. It's a charity dinner, right?

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And I was going to be by myself and another couple that I don't know, they donated money to have a dinner with me. And we gave them tickets, backstage passes, the whole thing. So we were talking about this at the cabana and I said, you know, Pat has come with me in the past. If you want to come, that would be. It would help me out. But, you know, no pressure or whatnot. So Pete goes, yeah, I'll come. Now in my head. In my head, I go, he feels bad about the Yankees ticket, so he's going to do me this solid right now. This. This is the eternal dialogue I have in my. This is how I live constantly. Okay. Yeah. I'm doing scenarios in my head about what other people are thinking or this or that. It's a disease.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, okay. Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But don't tell me you don't do this. I'm not.

[Pete Corrieli]

Everybody does it. But, but, but like yours are always. You think the worst of the people, though. What the fuck? You never think they think it's something good. In my head, I didn't even think about the Yankee thing. In my head, all I was thinking was, I'm going to do this, but I'm not going to just happily do it. I'm going to see if he's got other options before I do it, but I'll definitely do it. I'd do anything for you, bro. At the end of the day, come on. I don't. I don't even think. I don't even know if I could have got Them Yankee tickets, to be honest, he might have been like, I pee for you and your wife, no problem. But I really don't. If I did that, I'd be giving them out to everybody. And I was a little worried about that, to be honest.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, well. Well, this is the scenario. This is what I was thinking over here while all that was going on. So, yeah, so I got John the ticket. So the next time me and my family want to go to the Yankees, I'm fucked. So thanks.

[Pete Corrieli]

It's so funny to me. It's so funny to me, though, that we literally meet the manager of the Yankees who's like, excited to meet you. He's there to see your show. He's got his daughter with him. And like, you're going to like a third hand connection. The manager is a fan of you, of the New York Yankees. Lindsey, can we somehow get a hold of the manager and see if they can give you. Oh, my God, Sebastian. They want to know if you. If Caruso would like to do batting practice. That's what would have happened.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, if you go, yeah, but this is. This is for John. So I wasn't. The first time I reach out to this guy is not going to be for another. Another guy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, it would be for me. It's not going to be for another guy. So I felt. I felt like you had already gone to the Yankees game. You've had a relationship with this guy, so I thought you were the best guy to go through for tickets because it was your guy. Right?

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah. No, No, I don't.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What do you mean boring? This is fascinating shit.

[Pete Corrieli]

It is. Why? Who said it was boring?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You did. Prior to me getting into this story. Is this a boring cast? We're talking about sleeping on the side of the road and this is it.

[Pete Corrieli]

Oh, no, you're right, dude. It always amazes me.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I.

[Advertiser]

Come on.

[Pete Corrieli]

I'm. I don't know how this is going to go. I don't really have much and it's unbelievably hilarious. Again. Swear to God. It really is. I agree. I'm just taking all that in. Yeah. That was a weird exchange with the Yankee tickets. I should have. In hindsight, I should have said, t, Sebastian needs some tickets for his friend of his who does security, and then it would have been done. And I could have did the favor a lot quicker. I didn't.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

All right, we got. We got some other things, but we're going to have to save them for the.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah, so that was a misunderstanding. And then I just want to close that whole thing with saying when I saw you, you didn't seem annoyed. So that's the other aspect of you that's a little scary as well, is the fact that you can have feelings about somebody and they have no idea how you're feeling. That's like. That's uncomfortable.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I was thinking about bringing it up, and, like, first of all, I would never bring it up with mixed company. Right. And then there was. We didn't have a time that we. But then I'm like, this would be good for the cast.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So I just. I just. I just buried it. I buried it in my soul for the weekend.

[Pete Corrieli]

And saved it. All right, fair enough, man. Next time, I'll just get the tickets for you. I got a jet connection, too. If Petrelli ever needs tickets for that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I. Hey, I ain't asking.

[Pete Corrieli]

Oh, all right. Okay.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh.

[Pete Corrieli]

See that TV yet?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, no, no.

[Pete Corrieli]

I went to the dinner. I went to the dinner.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I know you went to the dinner, and thank God you did, because you had a connection with the guy. We went to dinner with. With your wife went to high school with this guy, so that was crazy. Yeah, that was a crazy coincidence.

[Pete Corrieli]

But that would have been a crazy thing for you to be alone at, by the way. Oh, my God. Just random whole dinner when you told me in the cabana, and I'm like, like, food, you're gonna eat with them and everything. And you're like, yeah, we eat. We do the whole thing, so. Man, that's some charity, bro. That is some charity, by the way. I just want to close out saying, Billy Joel, I hope you're feeling better, man. Get on the men. Billy fell. He fell on stage, and. And it's been not good since. Had to cancel a bunch of shows. I don't know if you heard.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I know. It's a. It's a shame. It's a shame. But in talking about age, you know, we're ending it with what we started with. There's a guy getting close to, what, 80? Yeah, right.

[Pete Corrieli]

76? Yeah, something like that. Yep. Very high up there.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Do you want to retire from stand up on your own, or is it going to take you falling off the stage to go some. For your wife to go? Pete, It's. It's over.

[Pete Corrieli]

60. I thought about it this morning.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, that's it.

[Pete Corrieli]

I made a decision. That's it. If. If I'm where I want to be at 60 doing my last show, I'm still gonna make people laugh, but now you gotta know me and be hanging out with me, because that's the only way. That's the only way you're gonna get the laughter. Five more years.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

There you have it. You got nine more years of Pete on stage, and you'll never see this man again.

[Pete Corrieli]

Five.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, five. Forgot five for 51.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Five more years.

[Pete Corrieli]

One last digging. Get one last dig in while you can, bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, it was a compliment. 51. I thought you were 51. That was a compliment.

[Pete Corrieli]

What about you? You're gonna just do stand up?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I feel. I feel doing stand up into your latter years is. I don't know, man. Although Johnny Carson. I never looked at him going, all right, this guy's old. Get the hell off the stage. You know? Although Johnny Carson.

[Pete Corrieli]

I don't think. I don't think I would. I don't think I would have thought Johnny Carson was funny when he was 30. Like. Like, he was always old when I was a kid, and because he was older, I felt he knew more than a young guy would, and that that's what made him funnier. So I almost feel like, truly, I feel like, you know, if you're a good comic, which you obviously are, but when you get older, you get even better. But like, I don't know, you know, Don Rickles, great till he died, and then other ones have a shelf life tonight.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, no, no, don't say it. His last show.

[Pete Corrieli]

The Tonight show and then Entertainment are two different retirements.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The Tonight Show. So it's the number you said. Okay. How old was Johnny Carson when he retired from the Tonight Show? Wow. Are you sure?

[Pete Corrieli]

I'm gonna say 69. 68.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Johnny Carson was your age when he retired. He's 56. You're 55. 56 years old from the Tonight Show. He left. I thought the man was in his mid-70s. Wow. He died old. He died. 79. He died at 79. This guy was one year older than you when he walked out of the Tonight Show. Could you bring up a picture of Johnny Carson.

[Pete Corrieli]

Wow.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

On the stool of his last show. Take a look at Johnny Carson at 56 years old, bro. He's one year older than you.

[Pete Corrieli]

He looks a lot older to me. To me. Does he look older to me? Right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, he looks 70.

[Pete Corrieli]

Wow. That's 56. Jesus. But Johnny, one of the greatest performers of all time. He knew when they, like, the same way. He has that great speech about. We've discussed about how don't talk politics and stuff. He's like, 56. I'm done.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

He walked away at 56. Never saw him again. Except for one time he came on the David Letterman show. So you're doing four years after Carson. Okay. Yeah. So you got five years to see Pete Corieli live. This special that he's doing.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah. Second to last one.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Second to last special in Providence next weekend.

[Pete Corrieli]

Yes, the last special might be the last show. My last special. And I'll name the special the last show.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Just call it Pete Coriali the Last Show.

[Pete Corrieli]

That's it, man. And I walk off stage, delete all my social media accounts, throw out all my fucking stupid stage shoes, grab my hiking boots and just beat it on.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

A lake, on a finances allow. Well, I have a feeling that you might be moving in the near future. That's my. That's my premonition for you and your family. I don't see you in Fredonia much longer. Let's. Let's call. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's pick the bags up and get the fuck out of that town.

[Pete Corrieli]

Where are we going? Just a random move. I mean, tell me. We're doing the cast live. We're gonna have big guests. I'll go. Where we going?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Hey, hey. We might have a couple coming on. Charlie, did you get any wind of that? I got a remote. Remote?

[Pete Corrieli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

They're gonna do it. I think so. Okay, we'll make that announcement when it's time, but right now, I'm off. You're off. We'll see you guys next week.

[Pete Corrieli]

Guys, quick reminder before we go, we're having a blast on Loose Ends Live. Every Tuesday night, 8:30 East coast time. We had Jim Brewer this week. My own wife Jackie's finally coming on. We're gonna load it up with guests. Sebastian comes on quite a bit. Cans is working the phones. DJ Lou is working the music. And we're having a blast. Five bucks a month, you get an extra Patreon show. Four live loose ends with a lot of new guests coming on. Join us. It's so much fun. And in closing, just want to let you know, I'm not quitting. Stand up. At 60 years old, that's way too young. Catch you next week.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The show has ended. Looking for his guy. You got the fucking contact. Don't act like you don't got fucking contact.

[Pete Corrieli]

This is great. This is great.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is great.