663: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 663 - "French Fries In The Pool"

Summary

Episode 663: "French Fries In The Pool" – A Detailed Summary

In Episode 663 of The Pete and Sebastian Show, released on July 15, 2025, hosts Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco delve into the chaotic yet humorous realities of parenting and hosting children’s birthday parties. Titled "French Fries In The Pool," the episode masterfully blends personal anecdotes with comedic insights, offering listeners both laughter and relatable moments.

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1. Navigating Sensitive Conversations: Are You Adopted?

The episode opens with a thoughtful discussion on the delicate topic of adoption. Sebastian brings up a scenario posed by a friend who suspects another friend might be adopted due to a lack of resemblance to their parents.

• Sebastian Maniscalco [05:40]: “Is it inappropriate to ask somebody if they're adopted?”

Ryan Reynolds joins the conversation, emphasizing the awkwardness and potential insensitivity of such questions.

• Ryan Reynolds [07:56]: “It's almost like a Larry David episode where you ask someone if they're adopted and wonder how to handle their reaction.”

The hosts explore the boundaries of personal inquiries, debating whether such questions are ever appropriate and how one might approach them without causing offense.

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2. The Olympic-Themed Birthday Party Gone Awry

Shifting gears, Pete and Sebastian recount the tumultuous experience of hosting an Olympic-themed birthday party for their son, Caruso. What was intended to be a fun-filled event quickly spiraled into chaos, highlighting the challenges of managing both children and inattentive parents.

• Sebastian Maniscalco [17:02]: “We had an Olympic-themed party with relay races, soccer kicks, and even swimming events.”

Sebastian humorously describes his initial plan to set boundaries with the parents, requesting active participation to ensure the party ran smoothly. However, his attempt to preemptively address parental responsibilities was thwarted by the parents' disengagement.

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3. Poolside Pandemonium: Kids and Lifeguards

A pivotal moment unfolds when a child named Tommy attempts a daring slam dunk into the pool, leading to unforeseen complications. The situation escalates as parents remain oblivious to their child's predicament, underscored by the presence of an unconventional lifeguard.

• Sebastian Maniscalco [22:38]: “There were kids in the pool, and one kid slam dunked, pulling the whole hoop into the water. He went underwater, and I couldn't yell at him.”

The lifeguard, described as resembling a "live scarecrow" with a bandaged toe, adds to the surreal atmosphere of the event.

• Ryan Reynolds [40:09]: “He looked like he couldn’t even eat hot dogs with that Amish mustache in my backyard.”

This segment highlights the unpredictability of children’s behavior and the often inadequate supervision that can exacerbate minor incidents.

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4. The Aftermath: French Fries in the Pool

True to the episode's title, the chaos culminates with bags of French fries finding their way into the pool, turning the water murky and adding to the list of mishaps.

• Sebastian Maniscalco [38:21]: “I don't understand, why are there French fries in my pool?”

The trio humorously debates potential solutions, from hiring a dedicated skimmer to enforcing stricter party rules, but ultimately embraces the absurdity of the situation.

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5. Parenting Lessons and Reflections

Amidst the laughter, Pete and Sebastian offer genuine reflections on parenting. They discuss the balance between vigilance and letting children enjoy their activities, the importance of setting clear expectations for both kids and parents, and the inevitability of unexpected events during gatherings.

• Sebastian Maniscalco [43:32]: “I feel like I'm constantly policing everything I do. It's tough to be in my head.”

• Ryan Reynolds [44:19]: “Having kids at your party is a tough one. You have to manage expectations and handle chaos gracefully.”

These insights resonate with parents navigating similar challenges, providing both empathy and humor.

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6. Concluding Thoughts: Embracing the Chaos

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the day's events with a blend of frustration and amusement. They acknowledge that while not every party goes as planned, the memories and lessons learned are invaluable.

• Sebastian Maniscalco [47:06]: “What you never want to hear at a party when you own a pool is, 'Do you have a skimmer?'”

• Ryan Reynolds [47:28]: “Imagine a century from now, someone watching an old documentary realizing everyone used to blow out birthday candles and spread germs everywhere.”

The episode concludes on a lighthearted note, celebrating the joys and trials of parenting while promising more relatable and humorous content in future episodes.

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Notable Quotes:

• Sebastian Maniscalco [05:40]: “Is it inappropriate to ask somebody if they're adopted?”
• Ryan Reynolds [07:56]: “It's almost like a Larry David episode where you ask someone if they're adopted and wonder how to handle their reaction.”
• Sebastian Maniscalco [38:21]: “I don't understand, why are there French fries in my pool?”
• Ryan Reynolds [44:19]: “Having kids at your party is a tough one. You have to manage expectations and handle chaos gracefully.”

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This episode of The Pete and Sebastian Show masterfully intertwines comedic storytelling with real-life parenting dilemmas, offering listeners both laughter and thoughtful reflections. Whether you're a parent juggling party planning or someone navigating awkward personal conversations, Pete and Sebastian provide relatable content that resonates long after the episode ends.

Transcript

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Pete Correale]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Voiceover]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is the Pete and Sebastian show with Pete Corelli and Sebastian Maniscalco.

[Pete Correale]

They say, oh, my God, I see the way you shine.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You're looking like a leading man. And it's funny that you bring up my clip on the Kevin James show because the joke is you're saying, put it. You put up a clip from your acting career, bro. I put up my acting career. That was the extent of my TV performance ever. You're a brave man, Kevin. Thank you for your service. Oh, no problem. Hey, are you a Met fan? Huge. You know what we gotta do? We gotta go down to Florida, catch a little spring training. I'd love to, but I can't leave my fish for that long.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Gotta tell you though, for that being your only clip, and I don't know if the viewers have taken a look at this. If you haven't, go to Pete Corelli's Instagram page and you'll see what natural talent is all about. I mean, you look like you just sunk into that couch and you, you know, that was your. It was your ninth season.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's because I sit on that couch, that's the only reason I was nervous. I sit on it every day. You know, in the middle of the day when no one's around, just, you know, taking a break when no one. You know, you're writing all day, so you're not nervous. But something else I wanted to say about the acting. Oh, yeah. And I know I did the right call for me just backing off of trying to be an actor in any capacity, because I recently saw they had this special clip of all these people that auditioned for that TV show, the Office that didn't get it, you know, like Bryan Cranston. No. Who's the other one? The one from Breaking Bad? Better call Sal. That guy Odenkirk, he auditioned for the Steve Carell part, and he was great. And all these famous people who didn't get it, they did these amazing auditions. And I'm like, oh, my God. If that's what was. That's what I thought was going on on the other side of the door that I've never seen. Like, you know, I thought that was happening. I thought I should leave. That's what you're doing now, bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I thought the opposite when I was in the waiting room. I go, these people, they don't.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They don't have a chance.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And then when I went in and came back out, that's when I said to myself, I gotta start driving a truck. There's no way I'm gonna make it in this business.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And then, remember when we had Jay Moore on the cast and he told us how he auditioned for a role where he's dying of AIDS in a bed? So he asked the guy if he could get in the guy's bed.

[Pete Correale]

Holy shit. Under the covers. He took everything off but his underwear. Who does that shit? That's what's going on.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's what I'm saying. But, like, even you now, you know what, like, happens now. Do you. Have you auditioned in a while, or do you just get offers and that's it? Like. Like always audition happily there.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I will audition happily. It's just. Nothing has really come down the pipeline where I have had to audition recently just because there's really nothing going on in that world. But I got no problem auditioning. That's not. It's not like I'm sitting over here going, no, I'm sorry. It's just offering offer only over here. Give me the script to see if I could still read. Okay. I got a question for you. This. This was a hot topic over the weekend. Friend of mine out in North Carolina is talking and whatnot, and he suspects that a friend of his is adopted.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Now, the reason he's speculating is because his friend don't look anything like the parents. And then this is not a friend that he's had for a while. This is a friend that he's had in the last six, seven years. He met the parents. He kind of looked and said, the question I'm going to ask you is, is it inappropriate to ask somebody if they're adopted, what you think?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, this is fascinating. That's a great question. But the question first is, does this guy think that the guy who's adopted. Does he think the guy who's adopted knows he's adopted or he don't even. Is he like this guy? I think he's adopted. He don't even know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's another question. He might not even. This is all speculation. This could be his actual parents. And my buddy's thinking about something that doesn't even exist, but he's gone so far to ask me that same question. Is he don't even think the guy knows he's adopted?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. Because that's the bigger one. If you're friends with somebody. Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Do you think you would know if you were adopted or not?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, you know, that's the thing. Like, I see you and your dad, and maybe you'd see me a bit my dad. I don't know. But by now I don't. I wouldn't think so because I have so many of my dad's mannerisms, you know? So you almost just automatically think I'm like him, but, like, not my mom at all. You wouldn't. I don't think. I don't think so. But my thing is. This is such a great question, right? It's almost like a Larry David episode where you say to somebody, like, if I just start to become friends with you, and I'm like, I met your parents at a party. I'm like, did you ever see if you were adopted? I don't want to offend, but I don't see you and your parents at all. And then you go to bed with your wife and you're like, do you believe Bill asking me that bullshit? And then by morning you're looking at line and going, should I get a dn?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, is that how you would do it? Is that. Or would you go? I mean, here's one way of doing it, right? You could just assume that they know and go, so when did you find out that you were adopted? What do you, you think that's. That's a little too, too direct or.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, way too direct. Are you kidding me, man? I feel. Do you feel like it's your business at all? Like, I mean, again, if you want to do a funny episode of the show, he's like, guys, like, my parents are coming over. They come both walking in, they're like, it's dark as night, like with Nigerian accents and he's lily white, acting like not even mentioning it. But other than that, you don't have a right to ask somebody, do you?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't know. That's why I'm asking. Like, is that an out of bounds question? Where do you have to wait for someone to tell you you're adopted?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think that's one of those. Yeah, yeah. You ask if they don't tell. Yeah. If they don't tell you. It's one of those. You ask everybody you know that knows them, right? You know they're from volleyball and practice the. But that's like, would they go, who cares?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You know what, I'm gonna break the ice here. Gotta break the ice here because Patrick went quiet during this thing.

[Pete Correale]

Oh.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Do you think he could be adopted?

[Ryan Reynolds]

He is adopted.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Are you adopted?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't think my folks have it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

In them to extend that level of generosity.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, you. I thought you were adopted. Is cans adopted? No, dude, somebody in our, in our mix was adopted.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, it's an interesting question. I just, I just don't know. I mean, obviously if you're a kid, if you're eight years old, you're not going to go up to a kid and go, you know you're adopted, right? And they're like, what? Well, I'm talking adult life. And this is maybe, maybe this is a little too sensitive or private for someone and they don't want to say, or they're adopted and whatnot. But I'm just wondering, as a topic of conversation, if you're having speculation on whether the person has biological parents, is that something that you could bring up at a dinner party?

[Ryan Reynolds]

All I'm saying, you're dancing on it. If I was at a dinner party and there was a grown man or woman and they were knowingly adopted, I would even ask this because this is.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What I want to know.

[Ryan Reynolds]

When did you find out? How did you feel and was there a part of you. This is always the big question, right? If you found out like tomorrow that you were adopted somehow, I want to go find the originals and just go, what the fuck? Right? You better have a good story for this, all right? Don't worry. I love my family, and that's what. You're my mom and dad. That's cool. But what you. What do you got? What the fuck? Sorry. Curse.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay. Okay. If you were adopted and you had an interest in finding out who your biological parents were, would you show up at their work? Would you show up at their house? I saw one video online. The woman was shopping at Target, and her daughter comes up to her and says, did you have a baby 17 years ago? And the woman was, like, floored, and, like, what? I'm that baby. Hi, Mom. And she's got a blender in her hand.

[Ryan Reynolds]

A Target.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

She's like, what?

[Pete Correale]

That's. Did she hug him? Like, what?

[Ryan Reynolds]

No.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

She's like, don't. Don't. Don't ever contact me again. And she walked. She walked away.

[Pete Correale]

Oh.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So where do you do it? Where do you go?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Was. Was the stepmom, like, in the background going, yeah, she love me again, the most. So, yeah, where do you go from there? But, wow, I think I feel like the first thing I do. I know what you would do. What do you think you would do first if you found out?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Let's tell me what you tell me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. Knowing you, you would hire the best detective in a Los Angeles area. And I get. I have him follow my biological mother for. For a month, get her full day. What she does, where she. I want to know. I want to know a lot about her before I sit down with her.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. And then based on that, you'll decide, do I do a surprise knock on the door? Like, maybe you'll even find out why she left you. If it was like, I had no money. I couldn't afford to feed them. Then you knock on the door and go, ma, I fed myself. You know? But, you know, you don't. You don't want to do a public thing and get that reaction. Jesus.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. And I think you got to do something. I think you would have to maybe send an email or something first to maybe prime the pipes a little bit. Hey, I've been thinking about contacting you for the last 18 years, and now I finally, you know, do they.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Do they deserve that, though, I wonder? That's my question. Why do they deserve a warning instead of we just charge bugle blowing right up to the front door. Boom.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I mean, you don't have to. I'm just saying. I don't know. I don't know how I would tap dance around that whole topic.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, if you go to see a dad that you were adopted and you don't tell him you're coming. And you pull up and you see him on the porch sipping out of a fucking pint of whiskey. You don't even need to go up to the porch. You just go, oh, okay, right. So I feel like if you set but meeting, you're giving him a chance to shower and shave and pretend he's not a drunk.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You know, maybe you catch him in their, in their daily life to see how they really are. If I pulled up and he's sipping on a pint of whiskey on a Tuesday afternoon on his porch, I tell the driver, keep going.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's what I'm saying. Now if you pull up and he's got 500 acres of beautiful red grapes and he's sipping his own homemade wine with Sinatra play, oh, you're like, oh my God, I could have been sitting.

[Pete Correale]

On this porch for 18 years.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, shit.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I always wonder though, like they say to you, no matter what, no matter how great your parents that raised you are, and obviously they're your parents, and it's beautiful thing, you know, that you still wonder. You still feel like a little less than sometimes, I don't know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Close your eyes, exhale, feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[Voiceover]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And breathe.

[Voiceover]

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[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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That's a lot. I'm just tossing that out for our beginning topic of conversation today here on the Pete and Sebastian show. I want to sidestep now to a birthday party that we threw for Caruso yesterday.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So the hot dog hamburger thing. Good video.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Anyway.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Nice. Happy birthday to the boy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Birthday's coming up. But we had the party this weekend because of school and people are going on vacation anyway. Oh, God, bro, it's tough to live in my head. It really is. It's just. What's your take on this? I was gonna make an announcement at the party before it started because it was an Olympic themed party. So we had these guys come in and they put all these games together for the kids to participate in. Kept score. They did like a relay race, soccer kick. They did swimming. They did about five or six events. Right. Tug of war. And I was going to make an announcement saying, listen, thank you for coming to Caruso's birthday party. This is not camp, Okay. I would request that you participate in active parenting. What I mean by active parenting is that this is an audition for you to be invited back to my house. Okay? Right. So if your kid's eating a hot dog and it happens to spill on the furniture outside, I need you to be aware of that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I need you to. You're either going to get a cleaning bill.

[Pete Correale]

All right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What are you shaking your head for, bro? I've had it. I remember, like, I'm tired of the only one parenting my kids. Okay. So I wanted to make this announcement up front, okay. But I didn't because I felt that it would have set a tone at the party that would not elicit fun after the speech, Right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Not even close.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Absolutely.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, expecting a six year old child to not spill his hot dog at a birthday party, that's like expecting you to go to an Italian restaurant and not have a glass of wine. Like what? It's what he does. Half eat the hot dog, he's running around. I understand. You parent very efficiently. I respect your parenting. It's admirable, man. People can learn from it. There's no doubt about that. However, in this situation, I think it's misguided. It's a little too. That's too intense to expect. You said in season three of this cast, I believe it was, that you've had Some of your best childhood birthday parties either had them or went to them. I did as well. And in garages where we keep tools and cars and shit because kids can't not spill again. Sixth grade, a six year old party. Want to make an announcement? If your kid spills it, you. You'll leave him with a dry cleaning bill. I know, I'm just. Okay.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I should have made the announcement.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The other problem is we don't. Well, out here, at least they don't do it. We don't stay at the kids parties. They get dropped off wherever it is the parents go, come back and get them at baba. Yeah, no, go, go. They don't want you. So if you say like this, parents, if you're gonna stay parent, you know, parent your kid. And if you're not gonna do it, then leave and I'll do it for the next two hours. You know what I'm saying?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, yeah. So here in Los Angeles, where it's not a drop and go, it's a. And then the parents think they're at a party because of course, I got a full bar, you know, and the parents think that the. This is like they're. You know, that's what I wanted. That's what I wanted to tell them, going, I don't want to have your kid screwing around and you're knocking back tequila at the bar. So I'll give you the situation. We have a basketball net on the pool. It's like one of those things where it's a water base, it's on the deck of the pool, and the basket hangs over the pool. So you could shoot in the pool.

[Pete Correale]

Awesome.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And mind you, I always got an eye on my kid at the party. So you and I could be talking and I could be eating a burger, and I'll look right past your left shoulder. Okay. Caruso's over there. Is he okay? He's good. I go back. Right. But periodically doing head swivels, looking for the. Okay. Where's Seraphina? Always alert, which is, I thought, just second nature as a parent. There were kids in the pool, and the kid went up and he slam dunked on the thing. This ain't. This ain't the NCAA tournament guy, you know, this guy's hanging on the rim like Shaq.

[Pete Correale]

Right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. Of course.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

He pulls the whole damn thing into the pool. Now he's underwater. And then. And now that the. The. Now I'm. That's all I'm seeing is all rise. Right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh. Oh, my God. Oh. So. And it felt like Autumn, It's.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's in the pool.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. Oh, man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay. Now, I'm looking around, and the parents.

[Pete Correale]

At the picnic table. I know. Isn't that funny?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

They don't even know the kid is underwater with the basketball net. So I get in there now. Now I'm in the. The pool.

[Ryan Reynolds]

How far away are you? Like, I. I don't think I've ever seen you move fast except in a bit on stage. So, like, what did he do? Do you get wet or do you go to the edge? Do you yell to your son to help him?

[Pete Correale]

I can tell you don't get wet. I can tell by the arms out like that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

If I gotta get wet, the kid's drowning, right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

You only get wet for your own kids. Only blood, nephew, niece, or my own kids. That's it.

[Pete Correale]

That's it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So I get in there and I'm pulling this thing up, and the kid. The kid's embarrassed. He's embarrassed that he did this, because I thought first he was hurt because he was staying underwater. The kids. The kid is underwater. He comes up for the layer and he goes back down. So I can't, like, yell at the kid. He's underwater. Can't yell at a kid underwater, right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. He's like, jesus, he's got, like, animalistic escape skills here.

[Pete Correale]

Right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

So did he swim away? If he swam away, I'd be like.

[Pete Correale]

This kid's got balls.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But that's what I'm saying. There's no accountability here. Come out of the water and take some responsibility. All right, I'm sorry, Mr. Mescal. Go. That will never happen again. Don't fucking hide underneath the water, bro. Come on up.

[Pete Correale]

Yeah. Right away.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Again, six, right?

[Pete Correale]

Six. I don't know.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Do you want. Do you want me to take the hit? You're probably yelling through the water. He's floating under there, just looking at you.

[Pete Correale]

Wait for you to go up.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I was gonna put some goggles on and go underneath.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, so.

[Pete Correale]

Oh, my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, so I'll get. I'll give you the opposite, bro. I'm gonna give you the opposite, and I'm gonna show you what parenting looks like. Because apparently you need to be slapped in the face with it in order to see the difference. 3 hours 3 hours prior I'm at the last game of baseball, and I sent you some videos with the baseball practice with the popsicles. All right, we'll get into that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It was crazy. It was crazy bad.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay? Last game was yesterday. Now, I don't know why this is. But Here in Los Angeles after the game, every parent each week is responsible for bringing food back in the day, it was an orange slice or what have you at halftime. You didn't get a full meal exiting the game in 1981. All right, yeah. Last week they gave out Gatorade. And I've never seen this bags of French fries.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That you mentioned. I think last week you mentioned that one.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Bags of French fries. This week. This week it was a cookie. Big. In one of those big cookies that you cut like a pizza. Okay, that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, that big.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, yeah. With whipped cream and this and that. So Caruso comes. He comes up to me. He goes, like. Like I felt like I was looking at a mirror. He goes, dad, they're handing out cookies. Can you believe it? I go, what? He goes, yeah, all unhealthy snacks. He goes, I ain't touching it. All right, now, this is. This is from me telling him, when you play sports, it's the complete antithesis of being an athlete. You don't do exercise and then eat garbage afterward. You want to treat every now and then, but you don't get a cookie for playing. So, boom. Instilled it in his head. Now he's got his own opinion, based on my opinion.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Totally awesome, man. A little. You funny as hell. But it was the last game, though, right? It was like a celebration of the season.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, this is every week, though. Not that French fried the other cupcakes. The other. The other time it was. What else? What did they have? Or Oreo cookie sandwiches.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Listen, it's crazy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's nuts. So now fast forward. Kids in the pool underwater, and I'm bringing up the thing. Finally, he pops up. He goes, I didn't know I was gonna do that. I go, yeah, did you? I don't know where that came from. It was like. Like I was gonna fight the kid. It was like, all right, I gotta settle down. So I brought it up. And of course, I'm looking over at the parents. Still no idea. Yeah, no idea. This is happening. And here's another thing. And this goes for everybody out there that's listening that might not have had parents that told you this or are operating in a universe where you think you're the only one that lives in it. When the cake is served at a party, that signifies the end. The party. So it's half, and the blowout. And the cake goes away. Anybody want some cake? You eat the cake. Oh, that was good cake. After you say I was good cake. Okay, let's get to the car.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It Is the end.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The end. Not at my party. Not. Not yesterday. They ate the cake and they dove back into the pool. It's 5:30. Party started at 2. Okay? Now that's three and a half hours. And everybody. So I told Lana, I go. And the parents at the picnic table, drinking like they're at a girls weekend in Santa Barbara, right? They have clueless. So I tell the people that. I said, start. Start lifting all that table right there. Start lifting all the plates. Everything. Clean it, clean it. Take everything off. You know, it's like when you're at a restaurant, they're trying to flip the table. There's cues that the restaurant gives you. We have another seating.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Head to the door.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Now you learn. You got it. Next time, you got to get the pool rolled, a cover put on while they're eating a cake, have someone put it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Couldn't. There was. There was people in the pool at all times. I couldn't. I couldn't cover the pool. Yeah, I told Lana, I said, cut the music. So I was doing. I was cutting music. I'm walking around with a garbage bag, you know, as a signal, like, hey, the homeowner is cleaning. And it's dumb.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Either you, this is a Sunday. This is a Sunday.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is a Sunday.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is 5:30 on a Sunday. Is like 1 in the morning on a Saturday. All right? Wrap your head around it. 5:30 on a Sunday on a school night. School night.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And now the parents are like, oh, they're kind of getting the hint. They go up to the pool. Tommy, get out of the pool. You know, that's like, you know, like, where the kid ain't listening to the parent, right? Tommy, get that same voice, same tone, right? Three times. Tommy, get out of the pool. Tommy, get out of the pool. Tommy, get out of the pool. The problem with that is it's three times, same volume, same tone. It becomes just nothing to the kid. All right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right, Right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So what you got to do is again, parenting 101. You got to come in hot, little bit firm. Tommy, get out of the pool quick.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, I'm not even Tommy. I get out of the pool. I think every kid would get out of the pool even if they were Tommy. Oh, shit. If he wants Tommy out that bad, he's gonna be by the time he gets to your name. Everybody get the fuck out now. By the way, because it's not the tone, it's the person saying it. You look like you're gonna hit Tommy if it gets to the third ask. Okay, mom ain't gonna do shit. You look like you one more time, I would hit your mom anyway. Go ahead. Did you say, did you say, tommy, listen to your mother. Did you say anything or not?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, I didn't say anything. I want to see how this played out. But what I'm saying is I'm sitting there looking at the wife with this timid, you know, having it out of the pool. I was going to tell her, act like Tommy was your husband. How do you, how would. Your husband's acting up? Is this how you talk to him? Talk to the kid? Like you talk to your husband when you're mad? So again. And then it's just like, come on. She's holding the towel like this. Like he, like what? Like, he's like a, a prince coming out of the pool. Like, yeah, the. I'm not sitting there with towels and sandals for my kids when they find it. Like, like Crusoe came out of the pool and he had the towel on, right? He's like, it's cold, Daddy. I said, that's all right. I go, just dry off and then go inside. And it's like, there's no, like, oh, you're cold. Let me get another towel for you. That don't happen here.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, that's good. Yes.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So finally I told that burger, the hot dog guy. I go, I don't even know why the hot dog guy was still the hot dog guy. After cake, he stirred stolen hot dogs. I had to go up to him. I go, shut it down.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right? No more meat after the cake. That's it. Intense.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Coming down. Everything's coming down. Right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But again, nobody, nobody understands that this is the end of the party. So finally left around 6, 6:15, which was, which was good, but it was work to get him out of there.

[Pete Correale]

Yeah. Take a walk.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The Pete and Sebastian Show.

[Voiceover]

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[Ryan Reynolds]

You know what I mean? Maybe. And I'm just saying this to everybody out there because this is an interesting situation to have. What if the cake. And that's usually you're blowing out the cake, right? What if you do that in a different room with no return access to the past rooms? You know what I'm saying? So it's like, it's. It's kind of like when we went to that place, college, which will go unnamed. You, you'll, you'll go in a room. I can't even say that. You might gonna get sued.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, the only way this would work is like, okay, everybody, like Caruso blows out the candles. Okay, everybody go to your cars and we're gonna give you a slice of cake to go. That's the only way that works.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, that's good.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

There's no go to another room. It's either you do it and then you take it to the driveway and just as they come up, you just hand out cake. As they leave.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The bit with you is if it was your birthday, you'd blow em out and I'd go, well, I know your wish didn't come true. And you go, why is that? Cause we're all still in your fucking kitch.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, and by the way. And by the way.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Can't we just leave. Can we leave the birthday song alone? Alone. Do we got to change that too?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, what do you mean? Is they're modifying it, you mean? I don't like that. I don't like any. I don't like people adding shit on the off note. Half the birthday. And we go to you.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I tell my kids, I go, if there is a add on to the happy birthday song, when the add on comes, you. You don't sing the add on. It's almost like declining the food in first class or on the plane. You do hopes everybody else gets the point for them not to do it. Same thing with his birthday. Well, and at the end. Oh my God. At the end.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, my family, which one?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What do you got?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Jackie's side does. And I was like, what are we doing? And now it's just tradition. Jackie always does it. They do it on her side. After you're done. May our dear Lord bless you.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, God, bro, What are we at church?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I lip it. I lip it. I lip it. I don't say it. I've been lipping it for about 28 years now. I'm right there with you. It's an add on. I don't like the add on, but apparently someone started it years ago in the Polish side, so it gets put on. Oh, God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So that was the party.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Do you have fun? Do you enjoy it? I mean, it just sounds like the exit is the part that really starts, like, I don't like so many. It's very, like, say he's having a sleepover on Friday. And it's a little different with girls. It's a lot different. They're pretty chill. But, man, when my cousin. Her cousin's over and boys are around especially, like, it just. It's the running through the plants and it's like, yeah, it's a lot, man. It's too much.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's what I'm saying. It's like, I don't understand, like, why are there French fries in my pool?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

How did that happen? This is what this is.

[Pete Correale]

This is. You do not like that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is what you never want to hear at a party when you own a pool. Do you have a skimmer?

[Ryan Reynolds]

What?

[Pete Correale]

That's so funny, bro.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And as you're going to get it, you like. Like, you. They think, like, you're just gonna say, yeah, it's behind the shed, hanging on the wall. Like, you're not gonna go, why? What's going on? As you go to get it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, it's. It's like, now I'm. If you ask me that now I'm going to be doing skimming. Absolutely. For the next five minutes, right? So now I got something to do. It's not like you're gonna go get the skimmer and take whatever the hell. So.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So I. You hire a guy to do Duck, Duck, Goose. Why don't you hire a guy to, like, be like, the pool guy, the lifeguard, the skimmer, everything for the next three hours. If a kid. You're the lifeguard.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I had a lifeguard.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Nice. Why isn't he skimming?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You're lucky he was Amish lifeguard.

[Pete Correale]

What?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The beard, no mustache.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I. Bro, I can't even eat hot dogs and hamburgers with the Amish being no mustache in my backyard. I can't even look at that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It was like having a live scarecrow. It was like having a live scarecrow in the backyard.

[Pete Correale]

Oh, I almost.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I almost would want him to go In. I must be like, Caruso fake drowning. I gotta see this. Amish being wet. What does that look like? Oh, how did he. So what do you mean, Amish? Like, how did he get there? Did he have a car? Does he have a car?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't know how he got. I just. He showed up in my backyard. I asked the event planner. I go, is that the lifeguard? She goes, yeah. And I said, bro, he had a bandage on his big toe the size of a baseball. Like, it looked like whatever the hell.

[Pete Correale]

You can't.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It looked like sort of got. If it looked like whatever the hell he had on his toe was keeping the toe attached to the foot.

[Pete Correale]

So if some.

[Ryan Reynolds]

If somebody was drowning and that toe hit the pool, you'd have to get everybody out and drain the pool anyway, right? I mean, chances are there's, like, you know, a disease in there. This is gangrene. These guys fighting off gangrene. She probably found them on the shoulder at a fucking four or five guy. He was homeless. She couldn't find anyone else to do it. Holy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, my God.

[Voiceover]

Bro.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He was like.

[Pete Correale]

He.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't want to sound rude, but he sounds like kind of unappealing to have to have on the edge of the pool. If you're a kid.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's a nice kid, whatever, but this wasn't Baywatch, bro. This was.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That sounds right.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And then he's. He had. He had a backpack on him, right? So he. He had the. He had the big lifeguard buoy, right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The pool's only four and a half feet, and it's like this guy's got a. This guy's. It's not like this guy's working the Pacific Ocean, right? No, it's like.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But he's like. I'd assume he'd rather have me throw in the buoy to get this toe wet, so.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, if I was a lifeguard and I had that, I would have to say, listen, I'm out of commission for three weeks. Why? I got a bandage on my toe. There's no way I could show up to a pool this way. But this guy's. I mean, this is like, you know, Come on. So anyway.

[Pete Correale]

Oh, God.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, well. Maybe he's like, listen, I'll knock off a couple dollars per hour because I don't jump in. I just. I whistle and tell you somebody's drowning. Red bathing suit, far corner. Red bathing suit, far corner. It's been under for 30 seconds. Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sounds like you had a ball, bro. Police and all this.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You hit the nail on the head. I feel like I'm constantly policing every. Everywhere I go. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like even at the baseball game, I'm just policing it, looking for behavior that is out of bounds. And it's tough to be in my head for a day, bro. It's just tough to be in my head.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, oh, for a day. I mean. Well, I mean, It's a catch 22, right? I mean, it's tough to be in your head, but that same head has made. You know, it's done quite well from everything it's analyzed through the years. I mean, you know how many people Subway sandwich shop serves a year alone? And none of us thought to do what you did, that bit. Shit. So I'm trying to be funny, but.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I know it does serve me well. But on the flip side, I have to be able to turn this off, but I can't because it's like, it's just there. It's always on. It's always affecting me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And it's sometimes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, that's a tough one, though.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Having kids at your party, that's a tough one. In general, do you guys have a separate little. Whether you have another cake or not, a little intimate, just a family birthday celebration, Maybe Grandma and grandpa around or your sister and her family?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, no, we generally have. It's like it's celebrated with everybody there. What's your take on this? One more thing on the birthday party and I'll leave it alone. No, they brought out one of these for the cake. One of these torch sparklers, you know, like, it's like a sparkler that shoots above, I don't know, two feet high off the cake.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. It's not.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, wow. It's not candles. It's like what you see at a nightclub when they bring out bottle service. This thing's on the cake now, Right. So you can't blow it out. Right. Like, if you blow it out, you're going to start the whole. The whole party is going to be on fire. Right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. It sounds like it wasn't even really legal in the county at all to be lit outside in any capacity.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You can't. You can't light this stuff. In the mountains where I live, this is like a. This is like a fire hazard. So you gotta wait till the thing goes just a way down, and then you go, okay, Crusoe, blow it. And he blows it. And it's just like this smoke is like people are coughing from this thing. Can't we just bring out the six candles? The reason they did this is because it was outside and there was a lot of wind. Apparently the wind don't even disturb this flame. This thing just burns.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So that's why we had that. But I don't know, it kind of lost its luster with the kid trying to blow out the cake. Plus, a lot of people nowadays, I heard, they don't want the cake being blown out because there's germs from the kid who's blowing out the cake. Now it's all over the cake, right? So if the kids got some Covid or the flu and he's the birthday boy or girl, you basically gave 13 kids covet or whatever, right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

So.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So now they don't even like the kids blowing. Blowing it out, right? They wave it with a fan. We didn't do that. We don't do that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

They wave it with a fan. So the kids sit there with.

[Pete Correale]

I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming. Oh, I'm. Oh, my God, bro, I blacked out for a minute. You. I. I was dreaming that you told.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Me you guys fan the cake.

[Pete Correale]

What the. We didn't do that show and tell Jackie.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, this is. We didn't do this. This is what? Pete. I've been at parties with her fan in the cake. The kid gets a fan and he's fanning it.

[Pete Correale]

That's unbelievable.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, but you know what I gotta say, though? All of a sudden, it's so weird, because when you stuck on people think there's germs when you blow out the cake, all of a sudden, in my head, I'm like, oh. Kind of makes sense. Like. And I can see a hundred years from now, someone go, well, there's something funny. I was watching this old documentary. 100 years ago, they used to blow right on the cake. What?

[Pete Correale]

Oh, my God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They'd all sing in one person.

[Pete Correale]

And if he couldn't get one out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He'D be like, sometimes they would have fake. Fake candles so he couldn't get them out.

[Pete Correale]

And then they'd all blow. They all blow. By the time they were done, it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Was just one big Covid pie. Oh, God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, man. What? Listen, that was a great cap to the show. We got. We got a huge guest coming on, so we gotta. Gotta prepare for that. But, hey, thank you for listening, Pete and Sebastian. Sorry it ended so abruptly, but good note to end on. We are out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The show has ended. I can't.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It was like having a live scarecrow. It was like having a live scarecrow backyard.