669: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 669 - "WHAT HAVE WE BECOME?"

Summary

The Pete and Sebastian Show – EP 669: "WHAT HAVE WE BECOME?"

Date: August 26, 2025
Hosts: Pete Correale & Sebastian Maniscalco
Producer/Sidekick: Patrick

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Pete and Sebastian dive deep into the theme of “What have we become?” as they reflect on aging, changing social norms, bodily habits, and family dynamics with their trademark raw honesty and infectious humor. From backyard wiffle ball mishaps and family cookouts to cultural observations on bathroom etiquette and the woes of raising a budding vegetarian, the duo tackles everyday absurdities that reveal how society (and they themselves) have changed over the years. The show is peppered with classic riffing, punchy observations, and candid storytelling that keeps listeners both laughing and thinking, “Yeah… what HAVE we become?”

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Morning Routines and Midlife Workout Woes

[02:03–04:23]

• Sebastian kicks off the show early, trying to shake off the morning seriousness:

  • Wonders if they're ever truly ready to laugh at the crack of dawn.
  • Asks Pete what he does before showtime.

• Pete shares his ambitious pre-podcast routine:

  • Worked out, took a steam, did a cold plunge, ate breakfast.
  • Usually does meditation but skipped due to a sore scapula from “idiot” treadmill running at 6.0/3% incline.
  • “The next day I woke up and my calves felt like they were going to snap off.” — Pete [02:46]

• Sebastian relates:

  • “When you want to be young again… It’s a fucking mind game. You are what you want to be.” [03:43]
  • Anecdote about feeling fast in a family wiffle ball game, only to get lapped by his nephew.

• Relationships & Communication:

  • The two hilariously miscommunicate about the baseball play, driving home how misunderstandings start small and spiral (even in marriages):
    • “This is how arguments happen in marriages… The communication is critical when describing a story and in life in general.” — Pete [09:48]

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2. Social Media vs. Real Achievements

[11:41–12:37]

• Family loves Sebastian’s dancing videos more than his movies:

  • “They come walking in talking about your dancing videos first.” — Pete [11:42]
  • “Apparently more people see the dancing videos than they saw the movie about my father. That’s where we’re at in entertainment right now.” — Pete [12:05]

• Sebastian shouts out a favorite scene from "About My Father":

  • “The helicopter scene… is one of the funniest goddamn scenes… like a Vince Vaughn scene… Makes me laugh every damn time.” [12:22]

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3. Family Visits, Bathroom Taboos & Etiquette

[16:40–25:16]

• Full House:

  • Sebastian hosted extended family all weekend—no bathroom drama… because apparently everyone was using nearby Starbucks for “number two.”

• Bathroom Habits:

  • Pete refuses to leave the house for bathroom needs: “I would definitely not go to Starbucks to do that. I would definitely use the home bathroom and then really mask it up.” [18:15]
  • They riff on searching for the “least frequented bathroom” when traveling:
    • “You ever walk into a bathroom, there’s like the waste basket’s overflowing, looks like somebody shaved in the sink?” — Pete [20:13]

• Airport Bathroom Strategy:

  • Use the “hidden” bathrooms BEFORE security, not after.

• Potty Talk Escalates:

  • “I even paint a picture of the guy who was in the bathroom prior to me based on the product that I see… shorts on, sandals, diabetes ankles.” — Pete [23:04]
  • “Unhappy. Unhappy. Just to not even have the self-respect to flush…” — Sebastian [23:14]

• Level of Decorum and Social Decay:

  • Pete observes how standards for public behavior (like hygiene and dress) have eroded:
    • “There’s a level of decorum that has not been upheld over the last 50 or 60 years.” [23:47]
    • “You see the old photos… men wore suits to the beach… There was like a level of class. And it’s just gone, bro.” — Sebastian [24:23]

• Proposed Solution — Behavior Ticketing:

  • “I think there should be behavior ticketing.” — Pete [25:11]
  • Goof on China’s social credit system (“Points!”) and escalate into fantasies about ticketing people for gross or rude behavior.

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4. Social Credit Systems and Cultural Contrasts

[25:16–31:13]

• Chinese Social Credit System:

  • “Why aren’t we doing this now? Can you pull up what they’re grading the people on the scoring?” — Pete [26:34]
  • Disappointment that actual infractions are more about visiting aging parents and apologizing sincerely than public etiquette.

• Public Bathroom Use in China:

  • “Kids are shitting in public, right? So it’s like, I don’t care if your kid goes to see his mother, I just don’t want him shitting on my lawn.”— Sebastian [30:49]

• Overall sentiment:

  • Rules should target everyday courtesy, not just ‘major’ infractions.

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5. Family, Food, and Raising an Animal Lover

[33:23–50:55]

A. Kids and Meat Preferences

• At a BBQ, Sebastian asks: “At what age should a child know how they like their meat?” [33:23]

• Pete proposes teaching kids meat temperatures as young as 8 or 6, and pivots into a real parenting dilemma:

B. Raising a Budding Vegetarian

• Pete’s daughter is distraught that animals have to die for food:

  • “She thought chickens just get old and they die and then we eat them… She was unaware that people actually go out and hunt and kill perfectly healthy animals for food.” — Pete [36:14, 36:55]
  • Pete’s fatherly approach: “I said… it's amazing that you have such a big heart and you have a love for animals, and I really appreciate that. However, people been eating animals for thousands of years... They were killed very respectfully.” [38:52]

• Parenting struggle:

  • Pete feels guilty for being harsh: “I came off a little Chicago, 1980s with this, with my response. I go, yeah, it killed the end, eat.” [36:58]
  • Wonders aloud if he can handle having a vegetarian child.

C. The Social Stigma of Dietary Choices

• Both hosts’ (semi-serious) aversion to vegetarianism:

  • “When I hear I'm vegetarian, right away in my head I hear, not that fun. You're not as fun as the person next. If I don’t know you, I think that you’re probably not that fun.” — Sebastian [42:00, 51:38]

• On increasingly complicated restaurant orders:

  • “I’m just waiting for one day where the waiter goes, we don’t have anything for you. Go home and fucking make it yourself.” — Pete [41:29]
  • “Wouldn’t that be great? No, nothing. Bread. We got bread. That’s it.” — Sebastian [42:00]

D. Old Livestock vs. Eating Quality

• Amusing exchange on the age of chickens, egg-laying, and culinary horror at the thought of eating “retired” livestock.
  • “Would that be like—if we waited till the chickens died of old age, would they taste terrible?” — Sebastian [47:43]
  • Patrick explains chicken farming from childhood experience.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sebastian on Aging and Delusion:
  “In your mind, it’s a fucking mind game. You are what you want to be.” [03:43]

• Pete, after workout fail:
  “I woke up out of bed and I was paralyzed.” [04:13]

• On Social Decay:
  “There’s a level of decorum that has not been upheld over the last 50 or 60 years… It’s just gone, bro. It’s gone.” — Pete [23:47], Sebastian [24:23]

• Behavior tickets proposal:
  “You take a shit in Chicago and not flush, boom. 250.” — Sebastian [25:11]
  “I think there should be behavior ticketing.” — Pete [25:16]

• Parenting a budding vegetarian:
  “She was eating a chicken Caesar wrap right. While she was telling me this.” — Pete [46:00]

• On vegetarian social stigma:
  “When I hear I'm vegetarian, right away in my head I hear, not that fun.” — Sebastian [42:00, 51:38]

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Important Timestamps

• [02:03] — Pete & Sebastian’s morning routines and the aches of aging.
• [04:23] — Family outdoor games and realizing age through competition with kids.
• [11:41] — Social media vs. real career achievements.
• [16:40] — The house guest/bathroom conundrum.
• [20:44] — Strategizing public bathroom use.
• [23:47] — Decorum: Then vs. now.
• [25:16] — The promise (and absurdity) of China's social credit system.
• [30:49] — Public sanitation woes in different cultures.
• [33:23] — Adolescents and meat preferences at a BBQ.
• [34:43] — Pete’s daughter’s awakening about eating animals.
• [36:55] — The “Chicago dad” approach.
• [38:52] — Pete’s attempt at a compassionate, educational dad conversation.
• [41:29] — Hard truths about restaurant vegan/vegetarian options.
• [42:00] — 'Not that fun': The vegetarian stereotype.
• [46:00] — The surprising overlap between meat-aversion and, well, enjoying chicken wraps.
• [47:43] — Questioning the very meat on their plate (old chicken debate).
• [50:33] — Patrick’s Midwest farm childhood and chicken credentials.
• [51:38] — Final callbacks and vegetarian punchlines.

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Tone and Style

The episode maintains the duo’s signature blend of irreverent honesty, observational wit, and relatable anecdotes delivered in a conversational, riff-heavy style. The chemistry between Pete, Sebastian, and Patrick keeps the pacing energetic and the friendly jabs coming, never letting the deeper points get too self-serious for long.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect encapsulation of Pete and Sebastian’s comedic chemistry, offering both laugh-out-loud bits and surprisingly thoughtful takes on everything from generational shifts in manners to the everyday minefields of parenting. If you missed the show, this summary will keep you in the loop—and probably leave you pondering what you have become, too.

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(Advertisements, intro, and outro not summarized.)

Transcript

[Pete Corelli]

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[Commercial Announcer 1]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is the Pete and Sebastian show.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

With Pete Corelli and Sebastian Maniscalco.

[Pete Corelli]

Pete Sebastian or here.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh boy.

[Pete Corelli]

What's up?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, there's a lot of different ways to go. I don't think we've ever started a show quite like this.

[Pete Corelli]

We haven't, we haven't. And you know what? It's time to switch it up a little bit. So that being said.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Ah.

[Pete Corelli]

What'S going on?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I got up today at 6 o'. Clock. I got a real good night's sleep. I had a lot of things I had to get done before we record. It's 11 o', clock, folks, on the east coast. Now you. And this is almost always what time we do it. It's eight o'. Clock. And I always wonder, like, we start the show and usually we're laughing right away. And when it was 8 o' clock this morning, I'm like, I'm not. I don't know if I'm ready to laugh. So I feel I've always made me wonder, like, how do you, what do you do before this show? Do you have, do you get up real early? Do you do a lot of shit? Or do you have breakfast and come down and just do this and then start your day on cast day? How much have you done already today?

[Pete Corelli]

I worked out, took a steam, did a cold plunge, ate breakfast, and now I'm here and I'm ready to laugh.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

All right, that's a lot.

[Pete Corelli]

That's a lot for to start. I don't think it's what we're two hours into the day. I didn't do my meditation. I normally do a meditation. I normally get up at 5:30 to crank out the 20 minute meditation in the morning. But I didn't get the chance to do it because I'm dealing with an injury on the left scapula on my back. I decided like an idiot to run on the treadmill at a 6.0 on a 3% incline. And the next day I woke up and my calves felt like they were going to snap off. And the scapula on the left side feels like somebody shot me through the back. So I'm dealing with that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So it was like. And I've had this too. Did you have one of those moments where in your head you're feeling good, you're working out, and you said to yourself, you're only 50 in your mind. It's a fucking mind game. You are what you want to be. I can still run at top notch on an incline.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah. I wasn't so much saying that. I'm. But I'm like, all right, you know, like, come on. What? I can't run anymore. 6.0.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's what I'm saying. You're saying that in your own way you're saying that, that you're telling me.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah, in my own way, I was like, all right, come on, let's step it up a notch. Let's burn some calories today. I woke up out of bed and I was paralyzed.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's tough, man. You know what I'm saying? When you want to be young again, you wanna. We played with football. My family visited. I'm on first base. My 11 year old nephew hits one down the line. All right, now we're playing on this, right by our pool club, right? So we're on this soft grass, like almost like you'd putt on beautiful soft grass. I'm barefoot on first, flying.

[Pete Corelli]

Hold on, hold on. I'm turned off barefoot.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's an outdoor wiffle ball game in the summertime right next to the pool. Now my point of it is I am flying, flying. And I get the. I get this from my brother to round third and go for home, no problem, right? His arm is sore from waving me. I'm flying home. And then I turn around and my nephew who hit the ball is standing there completely not out of breath or anything. And I go, oh, shit. What'd they catch it? And he goes, what do you mean, Uncle Pete? I'm like, well, why didn't you run? I did. I was just waiting for you to touch home so I can. You caught up to me. He caught up to me. Round in third and had to like, just wait for me. I was going so slow. This kid caught up to me. I didn't even. I thought I was Flying.

[Pete Corelli]

You didn't even see. You didn't even see anybody pass you.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

He hit. He hit it. I was on. I think I was on second, actually. He hit it and I was headed. Yeah, he didn't pass. He didn't pass me. He hit a bomb. I was on second base. So I start running and then he. And then I'm not even watching him because I got my head down. I'm just like, I'm like, I'm going for home.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. And then when I get home, he's there. I couldn't believe he caught up to me. So what don't you want to say?

[Pete Corelli]

I said caught. You said caught up to you. You meaning the batter hit the ball and you're on second. And he went to first, second, third, and home. So he hit a home run.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yes, and went through the gap and he hit a home run.

[Pete Corelli]

What I'm saying is he had to pass you to get home, to wait for you.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

He didn't have to pass me. I was on second. I was a baserunner as well. He had to wait for me to touch home before he could touch home. Patrick, do we have to diagram this, bro?

[Pete Corelli]

He just left and came back. So he doesn't even know this story.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay, I'm about.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah, and just, just so we could cut in here on the listeners right now. I would love to tap into them right now to see if they know what the hell you're talking about or if I'm completely lost and still in the steam room. All right, could you explain again this story now that Patrick's here?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

All right. Much clearer. Patrick? I was playing wiffle ball. I was on second base, a base runner. My 11 year old nephew comes to bat and he hits a bomb. I figure no one's gonna catch it. So I put my head down and I start barreling towards home. Around third, towards home. When I get home, my 11 year old cousin who hit that, he must have hit a home run because he was now standing right behind me waiting to touch home plate. But I didn't even think he ran. I said, oh, did they catch the ball? And he goes, what do you mean, Uncle Pete? And I said, why didn't you run the bases? You're just standing here. And he wasn't even out of breath. He goes, I did. I was right behind you, waiting to touch home. Got it. So I couldn't believe he caught up to me because I was flying.

[Pete Corelli]

So what I said to him was, so he passed you and you didn't notice.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Right.

[Patrick]

What I gathered, was that he was on your heels.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Thank you.

[Patrick]

You were slowly approaching home plate.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Thank you. There's other sports than soccer. You should look into them.

[Patrick]

Because you fell into a trot at the end. Because it was so.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I didn't. I was sprinting. But I couldn't believe that he had caught up to me.

[Pete Corelli]

But he said. But he said. The way he described it is he ran into him at home plate going, what are you doing here? And the kid goes, I'm waiting for you to touch the bag at home so I could touch it. Meaning he lapped Pete on the way home.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Meaning he caught up to me on the way home. And he was about to touch. But you can't pass me, so you gotta wait for me to touch it. But I thought he was just.

[Patrick]

Maybe he ran into you. Because when you say that you ran into him, it sounds like you were on your way to where he was in front of you. But it's. So he ran into you because he.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Caught up to you.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah. So he was in the back of you. Not in the front. You act like he was standing on home plate. And you're like, what are you doing here? You didn't run. And he's like, no.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, I see what he's saying. I kind of went like this. I turned around and he was right there. I should have made it a little more clear. I apologize. But, yes, he caught up. But again, my. Wow. Wow.

[Pete Corelli]

Well, no, this is how arguments happen in marriages.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, yeah. 100.

[Pete Corelli]

So it's like, what the fuck? You know, like, the communication is critical when describing a story and in life in general. Because I'm sure Jackie has moments of like, what, guy? You didn't. You know, I could just see it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corelli]

You tell her a story and she's like, what?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You didn't say that.

[Pete Corelli]

You know, this is it, man.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I know.

[Pete Corelli]

Tighten it up.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You're blaming me. Yeah. I felt like. I felt like you should have kind of figured out what was going on in that one, man. All right. Wow.

[Pete Corelli]

The way you described that the guy was at home with a bat.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Okay. I feel like you could have just said, oh. So, like. All right.

[Pete Corelli]

Listeners, chime in, if you can, on the comments and the next post in regards to this situation, because I'm baffled. And the fact that you're wearing no shoes is a sin at this age.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, yeah, you know, we're gonna go tit for tat here. I got you. I got you. Beautiful. A beautiful back spasm mechanism. And you go, I don't use it, because I don't like when people get me old people stuff. Makes me feel old. And then you make this funny video with your compression boots on that somebody got you. But why does the maid get, the housekeeper get all my stuff, and then other people's stuff gets on air?

[Pete Corelli]

Sorry about that, by the way. I still have the compression, the electromagnetics.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And I used it on my knee the other day. Beautiful.

[Pete Corelli]

I'm gonna use it on my back tonight, so I'm breaking it out.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Make a video.

[Pete Corelli]

Bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Videos are more important than stand up. My family came over there, like, they go, I love Sebastian's dancing videos. That's like, you know, you've done a movie and a TV show since I last saw them, and they come walking in talking about your dancing videos first.

[Pete Corelli]

Can't beat them. Join them.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, I'm trying. Mediocre at that.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah, it's like the dancing videos. Apparently more people see the dancing videos than they saw the movie about my father. That's where we're at in entertainment right now, so.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, yeah. What's the week?

[Pete Corelli]

They're getting a dancing video.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

By the way, folks, the helicopter scene and about my father. I go on record putting it up there is one of the funniest goddamn scenes. It's like a Vince Vaughn scene and a Vince Vaughn. It's just fantastic. Makes me laugh every damn time.

[Pete Corelli]

Nobody saw it. Nobody saw it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You know what else I didn't see? Thanks to you? I got to get you out of my head sometimes, creatively. My daughter swimming at a high level. My brother came to visit. Goddamn, he is so goddamn funny, I can't even tell you. So he challenges my daughter to a swimming across the pool. And, you know, he's a mess. He's got a hip problem and everything. So I'm about to video it, and I go, all right, we got da, da, da, da, da. And I go, you know what? I can't shut it down. And my sister goes, why are you videoing it? I go, sebastian said, I've been making too many videos lately with my shirt off, and I'm not about to go find my shirt just to make this video. So, you know, let's just have a family moment. But I tell you, though, man. And right away, it's striking when I go to make a video. I've been living with me for over 50 years, and I always go, God, that is a nice chest. Jesus Christ, if I could lay my own head on my own chest, I would, bro. I really would. Oh, I got a I got a Vietnam chest. You know when you see a Vietnam movie and the guy's got hairy chest that smoking pot out of their rifles and crazy. Oh wow. A little self bragging.

[Pete Corelli]

So who won?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, Sadie won. Sadie won. It was hilarious though man. He got caught up in the rope cause the lifeguards couldn't take down the divide rope. But yeah. So anyway, thanks to Roast Sparks for sponsoring this episode.

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[Pete Corelli]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Pete Corelli]

Wow.

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Pete Corelli]

So your brother, Your brother came to visit you for the weekend or.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

My brother, two of his kids, my sister and her family. It was a full house. It was a great time. It was a lot. It was a lot of people. It was a good time, though.

[Pete Corelli]

So everybody stayed at your house?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yes.

[Pete Corelli]

Okay. Any problems? Like in the morning we go with the cereal or any.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, they listen. They all listen to the gas. But no, there was no problems. But one thing I noticed, and I didn't notice until they left, it's on my list here. What's your take on this? I got three bathrooms, and I put sprays in each one and all that. But still, man, you know, you tend to. You figure, like, you walk by and you could tell when somebody's used the bathroom. And I didn't get that the entire weekend, not once. And, like, some of them would like. I have. Great. I have. I still have an espresso machine that you had gotten me for Christmas. I have. I make espresso. I have a coffee machine. But still a lot of people going for Starbucks, which you can walk to down the block to. Me and my brother went early one day for ice. And it didn't dawn on me until today. I'm like, I think they all were finding bathrooms outside the house, which is not a bad move, man. I think if I was visiting someone in a house of normal size, not the compound, I would take it to a Starbucks. I think it's good for everybody.

[Pete Corelli]

I don't know about that. I would definitely not go to Starbucks to do that. I would definitely use the home bathroom and then really mask it up. Do you have a window in your bathroom through a window in there that I could.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I, I. No. Nah, it's kind of sealed. I got sprays and vents, but yeah, I mean, one room has a window, one doesn't. No, I'm not going.

[Pete Corelli]

I'm not going outside the house to do that. No, no.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I like to get outside the house for a minute when I'm visiting someone because I feel you can never truly relax when you're in someone else's home. You're disattached. You have to think more if someone's visiting you when you lived at your dad's house in that environment. You know, it's like, even when you, when you're gonna go lay in your Bed and take a nap in the middle of the day or for a half hour. I feel like everyone's always wondering, where are you? Where are you? Where someone's missing someone's. It's like we're all together constantly for about two days.

[Pete Corelli]

I agree with leaving the house and getting out of the house. To go number two, though, it's. That's like a. It's a destination. I would have to figure out where to go. Starbucks. I'm like, I would like to. You ever on the road or you need to go and you're thinking, what's the least. What do you think the least frequented bathroom is in the area that I'm in? I'm thinking Starbucks. High, high level of traffic going through that bathroom. Right. You might get in there and. And there could be. You ever walk into a bathroom, there's like the waste basket's overflowing. Looks like somebody shaved in the sink, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Pete Corelli]

The toilet's got like maybe half of the toilet paper. Somebody lined the toilet, but maybe somebody didn't put the toilet paper back in the toilet bowl. So there's like, the lining is still there. It's been used a lot. And there's a lot of shit that happened in this bathroom today. Yeah, I'm looking for a bathroom and maybe one person went in to see if they had an eyelash in their eye. I ain't looking for heavy usage.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It was only used like once by a guy who didn't even know. He's like, oh, I didn't know there's a bathroom over there. Like, like, yeah, it's usually, that's usually when you go to an airport and you're going to go fly. People wait till they get through security, then they use a bathroom. That's amateur hour. Find the bathroom before you go through security. Those are usually empty. Yeah, yeah. So.

[Pete Corelli]

But I agree, like, even, even at a hotel, I never. If I have to go number two, and this is rare, let's have a hotel lobby. I will go to the banquet area. They have banquets?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yep.

[Pete Corelli]

Generally speaking, they don't have, you know, like banquets. Sometimes that's like dark. A lot of the times during the day, you go right in there and that thing hasn't been used since the wedding last week, bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Absolutely. I was thinking the same thing. Damn. The only one thing, though, if I go to use a bathroom, no matter how bad I gotta go, there's only one thing where I won't use it.

[Pete Corelli]

I. I won't.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I literally kind of ruins my day. It's when there's product still in there.

[Pete Corelli]

From the last place that's like, yeah, you almost.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh.

[Pete Corelli]

When you look, it's never like. And I hate to get crass on the cast, we don't generally do potty humor here. But when you do walk in, you do walk in and there is product left over. That product is always like. You always go, God, how sick was the person before me? It's never a couple pebbles, you know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It'S never a suburban housewife who forgot to flush. Right. It's never that. It's always like some fat fucking pig who's devastating every toilet he uses every goddamn day. Right? Just. Fucking animal. That's my first thought. Fucking animal.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah. I even paint a picture of the guy who was in the bathroom prior to me based on the product that I see. It's never a business guy in a suit with a briefcase, Right? It's never that guy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, God.

[Pete Corelli]

Oh, God. It's always a guy with like shorts on, sandals, diabetes, ankles, right? That guy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Unhappy. Unhappy. I look at that, I'm like, that's an unhappy person right there. I can just. Just to not even have the self respect to flush and just. Just get the. Bro. There's a lot of people, like, I swear to God, I was at a red light the other day and there was a woman in the back seat of a car next to me I was matched up to. And I caught her putting her teeth back in. You ever see when they move the mouth, like, she goes like, this is one of these. And I'm like. And she's sticking them in. It's a tinted window. And she sees me see her, and I'm like.

[Pete Corelli]

Like there's a level of decorum that has not been upheld over the last 50 or 60 years. Now, was it in the 20s and the 30s? You know, you see these photos of the people, all the men were dressed in suits and hats and what have you. But was this type of behavior going on 60, 70 years ago? Thank you. Was a woman putting in her teeth at a stoplight 50 years ago?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No. Right. I like to think they're either in her mouth before she left the house or she's like, God, I want to put my teeth down. I can't wait to get home and be in private. You see the old photos that men wore suits to the beach, suits. I mean, it's a bit much, but still there was like a level of class. And it's just gone, bro. It's gone. It's Like, I feel like people should get tickets for certain things, right? Like, you know, if you take a dump and you don't flush, they have a camera, they see who was in there last, they follow you to your flight. You land in Houston, there's two cops there. You take a shit in Chicago and not flush, boom. 250.

[Pete Corelli]

I think there should be behavior ticketing.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Totally.

[Pete Corelli]

And we talked about this. The Chinese, I think they're doing this.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

We have, we have.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah, right. Like you jaywalk. Ticket or not jaywalk. No, that's not the j.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

They got a point system. Points.

[Pete Corelli]

One of them.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corelli]

But if you could pull up the point system in China to see what they're knocking people for good behavior, you get extra points, which then gets you to do things that people don't get to do, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Absolutely, yes. Like nicer hotels, you get to stay in the nicer hotels if you have a high point rating. If you're an animal, you're going to be staying in the Ramada.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah. You get upgraded. So here, the Chinese point system refers to the Chinese social credit system system for evaluating the trustworthiness of individuals and businesses. Aims to track and rank citizens based on their social behavior. I mean, why aren't we doing this now? Can you, can you pull up what they're grading the people on the scoring? How do. How do they. How do they score? Social behavior? What is it?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I know. Are they judges?

[Pete Corelli]

Positive. Positive scores could lead to benefits like easier access to loans, travel and public services. I mean, this is like. I'm sorry, I don't. Critics worry about the vast amount of personal data collected and potential for misuse. So what? We got it over here. Get up. I want to find out what. They're great. What's the grading? What are they grading on? And people are. Oh, that's a communism. That's a lack of privacy. This, that and the other thing. I'm sorry, it's gotten. We failed. We failed with social behavior. It's becoming an issue.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It is.

[Pete Corelli]

So I think we gotta put in place some type of system which grades people on how they behave on a day to day basis. I mean, shit, if you left the house and you know, you were being graded, aren't we tightening it up? Okay, I'm going out. Uh, I could get downgraded.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm not. You are not. Cause we're already classy. It's not a problem. Unless. Unless you know, you get graded for cursing, then I got a problem. But like two weeks ago we did a cast where you were Talking about the lady that was talking. Excuse me, miss, Sorry to interrupt your conversation in first class. Boom. Here's a $250 ticket because we all don't want to hear you fucking talking. I love it. Really love it.

[Patrick]

There's a very government based.

[Pete Corelli]

Okay, okay. Here's how they lose points. Okay, this is what. This is what? Not visiting one's aging parents regularly. Oh. If you don't go see your mother who's dying. $300. So if you don't go see your mother, you get excluded from booking flights or train tickets.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, my God. Well, all right. I thought it was going to be more about, like, you know, flip flops.

[Pete Corelli]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Cheating in online games. What? That means insincere apologies for crimes committed. So if you're not sorry enough, you're not sorry enough. You're getting. You're getting restricted access to public service.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I like what a head is, but I'm not liking the ones that they're using as examples at all. Like, I need to know, like I said, flip flops on an airplane.

[Pete Corelli]

No, no, they got another one spreading rumors on the Internet, right? You go online and Gore Ellie is not funny. $500 ticket.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What about piccolo is funny? Is that all right? That's a rumor too.

[Pete Corelli]

But some of the punishments include ineligibility for certain jobs, public shaming on TV and social media. But you're right, I'm looking for more of like illegally protesting against the authorities. That's. We don't have any thing that you're looking for, like picking your nose in public or anything like that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Patrick, can I hit one? Google problem? Put in problem. Chinese children pooping in public. It's a problem.

[Pete Corelli]

Wait, wait, wait. Kids are defecating in public and then.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And garbage cans and shit. You getting anything on that? I think you're going to get some bites. Unless Xi tried to like public toilets. Lack of public toilets.

[Pete Corelli]

Issue of Chinese children defecating or urinating in public, particularly in places like Hong Kong, has caused conflict and controversy. This behavior, often associated with lack of public toilets, cultural norms, has led to.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, yeah, the kids are shitting in public, right? So it's like, I don't care if your kid goes to see his mother.

[Pete Corelli]

I don't care.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I just don't want him shitting on my lawn. Right? So their point system is not in the right place. They should be.

[Pete Corelli]

It need needs to be revamped.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Crapping in public. Yeah, yeah, that should be one of them. Anyway.

[Pete Corelli]

They need to consult with The Pete and Sebastian show in regards to the Game of Life.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

Comedians Pete Corieli and Sebastian Maniscalco.

[Pete Corelli]

I go to the steam room, but did you just ever walk in a room and just get slapped in the face by a. You know, just like it's the first thing you see. You know what I'm saying? I'm sorry for the guys out there that have this, but I'm uncircumcised.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Corelli]

I mean, like, you're going in there to relax, right? And that's the first thing you see and you're like the.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It would be a little less uncomfortable if it was at least circumcised.

[Pete Corelli]

Come on.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The Pete and Sebastian Show Eczema isn't.

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[Commercial Announcer 1]

Ask your doctor about epglis and visit eblis.lilly.com or call 1-800-LilyRx or 1-800-545-5979. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's free right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person, on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is There.

[Pete Corelli]

What do you got? What do you got on your list?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is. What's your opinion? It's an easy one. But I happened to be. And it wasn't this weekend. I had this for a few weeks on my list. Here I was in an environment where someone was barbecuing and. And we were all putting in our order, and there was a child about 12, two of them, actually. And the person cooking wasn't me. It was like, how do you like your meat? And like, Sadie knows we got that down. She's a medium rare person. And they both were like, oh, I don't know. My parents just make it and made me wonder, what's your take on what age should a child know how they like their meat? I felt like 12. You should start them. Know how you like your meat at 12.

[Pete Corelli]

I'd even go earlier than that. I mean, the kids don't really know how they like their meat right now. I just make it. I'd say maybe after having this conversation, maybe I go down the night and tell the kids, hey, listen, this is the temperature chart of meat rare to well done. Maybe I start doing that. And right now at 8 and 6. And it's funny you bring up meat because we're having an issue here at the house. I want to get your take on how you would handle this. Seraphina is extremely upset that we kill animals for food.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Wow.

[Pete Corelli]

Now, this is something that it's not been taught around the house. It's not like we're walking around going, what was that? What'd you just do? What was this?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What? Putting in a freshie?

[Pete Corelli]

No, you got do what?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Putting in a freshie.

[Pete Corelli]

What's a freshie?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Piece of gum, Guy, you sneezed. I didn't make a big deal out of it. I took out a piece of gum, put in a fresh piece.

[Pete Corelli]

I sneezed. I didn't hide the sneeze. I sneezed. Hey, no, this is.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is very smooth. Yeah, it was awful, bro. Well, listen, stay on point, what your daughter's feeling, Guy. My personal opinion this is you're born with those feelings, which is phenomenal.

[Pete Corelli]

She's born with. So I was making chicken legs last night, and I was making lamb chops slaughterhouse to her. Oh, there's blood everywhere.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But my point is, now that I know you have a child that doesn't like this, just hearing you say all these things you were cooking up, it must have been a horror show to the poor kid.

[Pete Corelli]

Well, let me rewind a little bit to when we were in Mexico that there was ants on the patio. You said last cast that she had a problem killing the ants.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Mm.

[Pete Corelli]

Okay. That's how far it goes. Can't kill an ant. Okay. So she comes up to me and asks the last thing. She goes, daddy, those chickens had to die. Like, she thought chickens just get old and they die and then we eat them. The chicken died. Let's eat. Was 90. She was unaware that people actually go out and hunt and kill perfectly healthy animals for food. Right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Corelli]

She goes, somebody had to kill that chicken. I said, now, I came off. I came off a little Chicago, 1980s with this, with my response. I go, yeah, it killed the end wheat. You know, like, there was no. Like, I was a little aggressive with the. Just shut up and eat it. You know?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Like, I respect that route, bro. It's not tap dance around it.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah, yeah. But she didn't take to that. She went off and she cried to mama.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

She did. She. She. Yeah. And then the problem is.

[Pete Corelli]

And I didn't even get to the lamb yet. Now that you know, that's. Yeah. Babies, we're killing. We're killing babies here for the lamb. But it's delicious. Yeah. So I went in and Lana's, like, crying. I go, for what? What? I even forgot, like, I'm, like, buried in chicken out there, right? She's crying. I go, why? She goes about the animals. I go, fuck. And I went outside, right? Now, as I was. As I was cooking out there, I'm like. Like a Neanderthal, you know? Like, come on, man. Like, you can't just, like, can't. So she came out and I go, come here. I said, listen, Come closer to the burning chicken.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm talking to you. But I got to keep it on.

[Pete Corelli]

You smell that? You smell that lamb? I said, listen, it's amazing that you have such a big heart and you have a love for animals, and I really appreciate that. However, people been eating animals for thousands of years, and they provide a lot of vitamins, minerals, and nutrients for humans to live a long, healthy life. Now, these. These animals, they were. They were killed very respectfully. I don't know if they were or not. I don't know if the chicken I got was. They were. The thousand were just slaughtered in a coop, you know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It was respectfully killed somewhere else before it was brought to me.

[Pete Corelli]

That's what.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But I'm right there with you. I love your approach. It's very nice.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah. I said, that's why daddy's always telling you to Eat your meal because an animal had to die in order for you to eat. And if you waste it, that animal's death has gone for naught. Oh, but when they kill it, they kill it. They dress it. And I forgot who I was talking to, Right? Like, sometimes I just start talking like, she knows what that means. They dress. You go, they dress it up. They dress it in a. What kind of outfit? I go, no, they take care of it. They clean it. They treat it with respect.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Right?

[Pete Corelli]

I'm pulling a page from the John Petrelli book of hunting. So I gotta, like, tap dance around this stuff because. Absolutely.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corelli]

I don't know if I could have a vegetarian daughter.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, man, that's. That would just be a big pain in the ass for everybody, right? And I don't.

[Pete Corelli]

I don't. What am I gonna do? Start cooking a separate meal for her? Oh, everybody, we're having steak. But, Seraphina, here's your salad.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's gonna be another five minutes with the waiter whenever you go out. Just to square that one for her. Yeah, that's.

[Pete Corelli]

Do you have any vegetarian options? I hate that. Like, when you come to the table and somebody's got, like, one of these where it's like, I'm vegan, I'm vegetarian, I'm pescatarian. What options do you have for me? I'm just waiting for one day where the waiter goes, we don't have anything for you. Go home and fucking make it yourself.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Wouldn't that be great? No, nothing. Bread. We got bread. That's it. Oh, my God. If I had a child that went that route instead of, you said what you said, there's nothing more to be said about the meat. It was beautifully said. From this moment on, I think I'd really focus on the pain in the ass that their life will be if they don't wrap their head around eating meat. All right, I could, like just. Just the hassle of, you're gonna find yourself. You're gonna be somewhere eating with friends, and there's really nothing for you. And you're like, that's all right. I'll wait till I get home. Fucking home ain't gonna be till 12:30 at night because everyone's partying and now you're starving because you went to. And I have to say, and I know this is narrow minded, but when I hear I'm vegetarian, right away in my head I hear, not that fun. You're not. You're not as fun as the person next. If I don't know you, I Think that you're probably not that fun. It's terrible. It's terrible. And I'm sure your daughter's a hoop. She's been always since I've known her. But as an adult, it's a connotation.

[Pete Corelli]

Yeah, No, I agree. Vegetarian, vegan. Yeah. The fun factor definitely comes into play there.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's right up there with born again. Oh, I get born again. Check.

[Pete Corelli]

What the hell did you do that's so bad that you gotta be born again?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You had to start all over. Oh, my God. Oh, what you did was so bad. God couldn't even forget it. He had to bury it like, that person's dead. And you reborn.

[Pete Corelli]

Oh, God. Yeah. That person wasn't curing cancer and said, I gotta stop this.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, I'm just. I'm too goddamn nice. I gotta die and come back a little less nice. There's always something with a born again. It's like. It's like someone who used to be, who's an alcohol, but they're not. They don't drink anymore. And they're like, too nice. And you're like, oh, God. What is. What is bubbling underneath this perky fake personality I'm looking at, right? Oh, it's great to see you. Oh, God. What demons are pulling you down?

[Pete Corelli]

Oh, God. God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Hold on.

[Pete Corelli]

Hold on. I got to stop the conversation and ask because I don't know if I'm getting. I'm getting the type of response I should be getting from this conversation. And I have to ask, Patrick, are you, Are you born again? I had to ask because he wasn't saying nothing.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm waiting for an answer. I believe that's a legitimate question.

[Pete Corelli]

No, he looked at me like I was crazy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, he did?

[Pete Corelli]

Fucking nuts. This guy's got demons coming out of his ears.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But just to wrap up with the daughter and this stuff, that's going to be an ongoing conversation, and I'm interested to see how it plays out, because the way she feels is really great. It's really an admirable way to feel. And, you know, I'm not getting to a whole conversation, but I drove cross country, I passed the slaughterhouse, and. Oh, that would bring your daughter to her knees, man. I mean, that would make her get out of the car and start protesting. I mean, that's why there's a reason those things are out in the middle of nowhere. Cows outside with numbers dangling off their neck. 5, 27. You know, half of them are heading to Vegas.

[Pete Corelli]

Oh, no, I, I, I, I know, but it's Funny, she was eating a chicken Caesar wrap right. While she was telling me this. But she saw, I think what she has a problem is like seeing it prepared, you know, coming out of the wrapping from the butcher.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Right.

[Pete Corelli]

There's still a little, you know, blood residue there. You know, it looks like it's just, it's coming fresh off the kill house.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Right, right.

[Pete Corelli]

But maybe when it's cooked and prepared and it's in something, then it's a little bit more digestible. But she even noticed, she's like, wait a minute, I'm eating a chicken Caesar wrap. I said, yeah. And she had no problem with it. But to see it there and the legs.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corelli]

And then my son comes up and he's like, what's going on? I said, oh, I'm just cooking some chicken legs. And I had eight. And he looks and he goes, ah, that's four. Four chickens. Four chickens. How to die. He's like, he's doing the math. I mean, if I. Jesus Christ. I'm just trying to make dinner. I'm getting bombarded from it. But he doesn't, he doesn't. My son doesn't really. He's not tapped into the whole meat. And this, that. It's my daughter, so I gotta find out where this is gonna go.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, well, I mean, she was eating the chicken wrap, but she thought the chicken was 82 years old. Right.

[Pete Corelli]

She thought it was a senior citizen.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. It just fell asleep and never woke up. Would be, by the way, if that was the case, you wouldn't be able to chew through that. Right. Would that be like a. Like if we waited till the chickens died of old age, would they taste terrible?

[Pete Corelli]

I don't know. Is old age chicken. Is that like if a chicken makes it, like, what's the life expectancy of a chicken if you just let it? Maybe like five years. I thought that would be a Google for sure. Like, I asked Patrick how old the chicken lives still, and he goes, I don't know, maybe five years. He wasn't even, you know, like I would have been tap dancing on the keyboard right away. This guy was off the top of his head.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'd fake Google it even if I knew. Would be weird to know how long a fucking chicken lives.

[Pete Corelli]

He's right. Chicken lifespan 5 to 10 years. 5 to 10 years. So it's a 10 year old chicken taste any better? Could you, could you google that or do you know that off the top of your head? I don't want to eat an old chicken 10 year. You don't want to eat an old chicken. He says you don't want to eat an old chicken. Two years at the most. He's saying, I don't know. This guy looked like he worked in a, in a chicken facility.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Guy who was an executive at Purdue. What the. How does he have all this chicken?

[Pete Corelli]

He still got problems with Chinese children.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Pooping in public Under Google. Nothing. That's cuz they're eating five year old chicken. It's going right through. Seriously though, Patrick, why can't you eat old chicken? Is there a reason for that? That, you know, they get weird?

[Patrick]

They get, they're. They're going to lay eggs for four years. You don't really want to eat those that you want to eat them within two years.

[Pete Corelli]

Within two years you want to eat the chicken. But he even brought up another the eggs. Do you want to eat a 10 year old egg from a 10 year old chicken? Do you want to eat the egg?

[Patrick]

They won't make eggs after like four years.

[Pete Corelli]

They won't make eggs after four years. Again, Chinese children pooping in public. This guy's off the top of his head. How do you know so much about the chickens?

[Patrick]

I'm Midwest farm family and I raised chickens when I was like seven.

[Pete Corelli]

Did you hear this? He raised chickens when he was 7. Comes from a Midwest farm family. Shit's just in there. I'm starting to get a picture of.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Your trailer park, man. Where I grew up, you had a chicken coop. There was a connotation to that. I know. It's the way to go now. I'm joking.

[Pete Corelli]

I moved in this. I moved into this house that they had a chicken coop.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I know it's like a hip thing to do now. Growing up it was like, ew. And now it's like everybody does it. If you can. He was ahead of the game. Were your eggs delicious, bro? Did you sell them or eat them?

[Patrick]

We handed them out to the neighborhood because they were always escaping. We lived in a suburban neighborhood. We had a patch of woods in the backyard. My dad came home and turned the playhouse in the woods into a chicken coop and wanted us to see what it was like for him.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's awesome. That's really awesome. That's awesome, man. I'm balls.

[Pete Corelli]

How awesome? How awesome is it? At 15, he's like, I could get the out of here, right? That was a hobo at 15.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That was weird. That still throws me off, bro.

[Pete Corelli]

All right, there we have it. Pete Sebastian show once again. Thank you for listening. Got Patreon, Pete and Sebastian every Tuesdays. We have loose ends with Pete and we'll see you next week.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

The show has ended and I have to say, and I know this is narrow minded, but when I hear I'm vegetarian, right away in my head I hear, not that fun.