674: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 674 - "FULLY GAGGED"

Summary

The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 674 "FULLY GAGGED"

Date: September 30, 2025
Hosts: Pete Correale & Sebastian Maniscalco
Podcast Summary by Studio71

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Episode Overview

This episode brings listeners deep into Pete and Sebastian's comedic worlds with stories about technical mishaps, medical misadventures (including Sebastian's graphic account of his recent colonoscopy and endoscopy), tales of moving and adjusting to new neighborhoods, and a reflective, hilarious discussion on parenting challenges. As always, the episode is a rapid-fire blend of relatable life moments, sharp riffs, and classic banter—plus a running commentary on technology's effect on everyday competence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pete’s Never-ending Internet Snafu (01:26–05:34)

• Pete recounts a marathon, multi-person effort to set up internet in his new basement studio using Nighthawk wifi towers. Despite supposed “plug-and-play” ease, he, Patrick, and Cans labor for hours and eventually end up on a help call to India—with little progress.
• Sebastian cracks up over Pete’s tech incompetence, comparing Patrick’s patience to an air traffic controller guiding a nervous amateur (“I don’t think I’ve ever seen, other than my father, someone so completely lost when it comes to anything tech.” – Sebastian, 04:33).
• The solution—a $250 tech support fee—leads to resignation and relief.

2. The Colonoscopy Catastrophe (06:01–23:39)

Sebastian’s Prep & Procedure

• Sebastian delivers a play-by-play of his colonoscopy prep, now conducted with “12 horse pills” rather than the dreaded cleansing liquid (06:01–08:38).
• Graphic yet comedic honesty: Describing the results (“you’re pissing out your asshole. It’s just water and bile.” – Sebastian, 07:13), with Pete riffing on the similarity to cleaning out a filthy car.
• Notable Quote:
  “It’s like someone’s shooting a garden hose into the toilet. It’s hitting the toilet faster than gravity.” (Pete, 08:03)

Patient Experience & Medical Facility Riffs

• Sebastian laments the lack of privacy—dangling drapes instead of real rooms—and general discomfort in outpatient surgical centers (“I want my own room. I don’t want a drape between me and somebody bleeding on the other side.” – Sebastian, 12:09).
• Both hosts riff on how barbaric and outdated medical procedures feel (“Twenty years from now, they’re gonna go: ‘Did you ever hear how they used to do this?!’” – Pete, 13:23).

The “Fully Gagged” Bit: Fangirling Nurse & Double Penetration

• Sebastian unexpectedly discovers he’s getting not only a colonoscopy but also an endoscopy (“double penetration” – Pete, 18:09), including a ball gag strapped to his mouth:

  “I look like what’s his name out of Silence of the Lambs.” (Sebastian, 19:07)

• While prepped, a nurse admits she’s a fan, prompting Sebastian to deadpan about losing her as a fan forever once she’s viewed the inside of his colon (20:26; 53:08).
  • Notable Quote:
    “You saw me perform, and now you’re gonna see the inside of my — on a screen.” (Sebastian, 53:08)

Post-Op Reflection & Anesthesia Afterglow

• After the procedure, Sebastian shares the surreal, blissful feeling induced by propofol (“Michael Jackson drug”) and how it made him unusually agreeable and unbothered (“Nothing bothered me. Lana could have said anything.” – Sebastian, 29:14).
• Pete jokes about the specificity of post-op advice: “Don’t do any workout, don’t drive, and don’t make any financial decisions” (28:49).

3. Life Lessons: Parenting, Moving, and Making Friends (39:14–44:25)

• Pete opens up about the emotional difficulty of moving homes later in life, and how his 12-year-old daughter, Sadie, struggles to make new friends in a new town despite good-hearted locals.
  • Notable Moment: Pete describes seeing his daughter take his advice and approach a neighborhood girl at the bus stop (“...when your kid does what you’re telling them they should do, it breaks your heart...” – Pete, 41:40).
• The hosts reflect on how social adjustments as a kid, especially for girls, can be devastating, and how parents have to resist intervening so their kids develop resilience.

4. Modern Life: Tech Convenience vs Competence (46:03–52:04)

• Sebastian and Pete laugh about total dependence on GPS and tech, with both admitting they can’t navigate even routine routes without an app.
  • No Shame Tech: “Even with the GPS on, if I’m not paying attention, I’ll go right past the exit. Like, that’s how I have no idea where I’m at.” (Sebastian, 48:16)
• Pete shares his experience in a Tesla Cybertruck on self-drive and the acceleration of “beast mode,” marveling at the future finally arriving (49:27–50:14).
• Brief chat about Grok, Elon Musk’s AI system that instantly debunks viral photos and headlines on social media.

5. Fitness, Boxing, and Getting Older (33:13–38:31)

• The conversation briefly shifts to exercise for longevity (offsetting smoking with workouts per John Mellencamp’s theory) and hilarious speculation about whether, if Pete and Sebastian fought with headgear, the blows would still hurt (“I think I’d win on points. Rope-a-dope.” – Pete, 35:13).
• Banter about boxing gym culture, intimidation, and walk-in stories echoing Rocky.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I don’t think I’ve ever seen, other than my father, someone so completely lost when it comes to anything tech.”
  – Sebastian, 04:33
• “You’re pissing out your asshole… It’s just water and bile.”
  – Sebastian, 07:13
• “It’s like someone’s shooting a garden hose into the toilet. It’s hitting the toilet faster than gravity.”
  – Pete, 08:03
• “I want my own room. I don’t want a drape between me and somebody bleeding on the other side.”
  – Sebastian, 12:09
• “I look like what’s his name out of Silence of the Lambs.”
  – Sebastian, 19:07
• “You saw me perform, and now you’re gonna see the inside of my — on a screen.”
  – Sebastian, 53:08
• “Even with the GPS on, if I’m not paying attention, I’ll go right past the exit. Like, that’s how I have no idea where I’m at.”
  – Sebastian, 48:16

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 01:26–05:34 – Pete’s internet adventure in the new house
• 06:01–23:39 – Sebastian’s colonoscopy/endoscopy prep, procedure, recovery, and outrageous nurse encounter
• 29:39–31:38 – Post-op reflection, anesthesia aftermath, and return to daily life
• 33:13–38:31 – Fitness, boxing, getting older, mortality jokes
• 39:14–44:25 – Moving, parenting challenges, making new friends at school
• 46:03–52:04 – Tech convenience, GPS dependence, Cybertruck, Grok AI in daily life

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Conclusion

“FULLY GAGGED” is a vivid showcase of Pete & Sebastian’s signature comedic chemistry—mixing unfiltered honesty about aging, medical humiliations, family ups and downs, and the relentless march of technology, all with razor-sharp observations and constant laughs.

For comedy fans and regular listeners, this is an episode not to miss for its gut-busting stories and the surprisingly heartfelt moments that come with real-life change.

Transcript

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[Pete Corrielli]

This is the Pete and Sebastian show with Pete Corrielli and Sebastian Maniscalco bustin the last in the planes touching down, our hostess is handing the hot towels around.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Pete and Sebastian show to tell you right off the bat, loving the new setup.

[Pete Corrielli]

We're getting there, man. We're getting there. What a day. We'll get into that later, but with Patrick and cans yesterday. Holy. What a day. These guys are unbelievable. Why? What.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What were they doing? What's the. I mean, I'm talking about these aesthetics. Give me the background. What's, what's, what happened?

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, I'm in my basement and it's fantastic. It's like, it's like kind of finished. I got a gym over in that corner. This is, you know, I got a lot of space for the, for the studio. But my fear was I couldn't get Internet down here. I got good Internet better than ever in town, but I can't get it throughout. So we got these things called the Nighthawk. Are you familiar with these things? These little towers? No. Wow, man, what a. You just, you just, you just call up and go, let me know when it's all hooked up and I'll move in. Right. That's beautiful. So anyway, these, they, they bounce the Internet all around. They're these little, like, square things. And I had them in Fredonia and then we brought them here and they weren't working. So me and Patrick and Jackie were on the phone two days ago for like three hours. Couldn't get them working. Then yesterday, me and Patrick are on for an hour can't get him working. Cans is now on with us. Can't get him working for another hour. Then cans goes, let's call the tech people. Oh, God, here we go. I'm going to call India, right? And I go. I go, you guys got to be on the call. Because, like, it's like, insane how you know, I mean, I'm ignorant. It's unbelievable. Like, at one point, we're talking to the guy from India, and I go, bro, this isn't gonna work. I'm like, what are we doing? You're just gonna maybe have to fly out here. I can't do this anymore. At one point, Patrick's like, walk around the house and look for another cable sticking out anywhere. Maybe a little corner of the house. I'm looking, oh, my God. This is. I fucking Hail Mary. There's no cable. So. So at one point, the guy goes to me, is this your computer or is it a work computer? So I go, this how dumb I am. I go, well, I only use it for the podcast, if that's what you mean. And Kansas goes, no, no, no, no, sir. He doesn't work. He doesn't work for a company. It's his personal.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, my God. Oh, I'm surprised Patrick's here today. I surprised the guy to walk off the job.

[Pete Corrielli]

He could. I am not lying. If you were in an airplane cockpit alone and he was on the ground, he could. He could help you. He could talk you into landing. He says shit. Like, look to the. On the. Is there a little mini house? In the left hand corner of the screen, press the little thing that looks like a house. Now you'll see a sun slide that. Like, just the patience.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I think what happens with him is he actually has to revert to his voice he uses with his kids when speaking to you in regarding technology. Because.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yes.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I mean, I don't think I've ever seen, other than my father, someone so completely lost when it comes to anything tech.

[Pete Corrielli]

I was pretty impressive yesterday, though. I couldn't even believe the guy. Kept asking me things that I knew the answer to. He's like, find me the serial number. I'm like, I know where that is. Find me this, find me that, right? Oh, and then at one point, he's like, the only way we could fix it is if you pay 250. I need your credit card number.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I'm surprised you didn't hang up after that. That's what? 250. Goodbye.

[Pete Corrielli]

I know, I know. Katpatrick goes, is it something we can fix ourselves? Maybe we shouldn't pay it. And Kansas, like, I think we should. I'm like, I think we should, too, Patrick. And he's like, well, we could. We could work. I got. What are we gonna do, 10 hours on the phone? Let's just. I'm just gonna pay the guy. So we're all set up. Rome. Psyched. I'm psyched to be down here.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. I just could tell you got more room if I feel like your shoulders and your. Yeah, I feel like you. You're almost like a hawk that just decided I finally could fly. Right. And I have some room. You got east and west space. Yes, It's. It's looking. It's looking tight over there.

[Pete Corrielli]

Nice. And how you doing? Are you already up recording stuff? You're already in the studio today?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, I had an hour worth of. What do you call, press for Connecticut this weekend. So I did some interviews, and I am here. I am out of my colonoscopy, which happened on Friday. Let me walk you through this and give you a play by play. I took the pills. I didn't take the drink to clean yourself out. It comes in pill form now. And I had to take 12 pills in the course of an hour, one pill every five minutes. And these things are like horse. Like horse pills. It's tough to get down. And about two hours in, it hit me. And for those of you that have never taken these pills or had a colonoscopy, what they need to do is clean you out and they give you this drink or these pills, and there's absolutely no warning when this thing is going to hit. So it's like I could be talking to you, and boom, I'm gone. You know what I'm saying? Like, right to the bathroom. And it becomes so bad. And I don't want to be crass on the cast here, but just to give you an idea, just basically, you're pissing out your asshole. It's just water. Water and bile.

[Pete Corrielli]

So unbelievable, right? It's unbelievable.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, it's unbelievable. Like, you can't even believe, like, your body could do this. You know what I'm saying? Like, at one point, I'm like, am I talking? Because if somebody was outside the bathroom going, wow, he's. He's pissing. Like. Like, it sounds like somebody's dumping water into the toilet. You know, like, you would think. You go, there's no way that's coming out. It's. No. It's coming out his ass, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

So it almost sounds like someone's shooting a Garden hose into the toilet. It's hitting the toilet faster than GR gravity. It's unbelievable, man. It really is. You know what? And the inside, when it comes out of you, it's kind of like. And I know you always keep your cars clean, but people know, like, whenever you vacuum in your car and you get under the seat and you go, jesus, I didn't even know it was that bad. Holy shit. That. It's like that feeling of, like you said, you just getting shit off the sides. It's like. It's. It's a good cleanse. I figure you'd be into it. It's a detox. You're into detox.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I am. I was really into it. I felt like accomplished after the 12 hours that I was doing this, because I had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning again and do another 12 pills. So brutal. Brutal. I go in. I go in and I gotta tell you, I'm really proud of my. Not only the preparation I did physically, but the preparation I did with what I need when I go there. A license, insurance card forms. I'm very prepared when it comes to these things because as I'm checking in, I felt so proud when she goes, do you have. Yes, I do. Do you have a. Yes, I got a copy. And it was so beautiful. I even had to tell the woman, how prepared am I?

[Pete Corrielli]

Right? You're one of those. If everybody did it, like you walk in the park.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Right, right.

[Pete Corrielli]

I didn't get that email. What do you mean? You know. Oh, God.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. You know that person that. No one told me I had to bring the. No, we told you, lady. You were just out to lunch. So, man, I get called in. Now it's at an office building. It's not at the hospital. It's at an office building that's set up. It's like a outpatient surgery center. So I walk in and they have like, drapes, you know, like, you know, like about eight drapes. And I. I go in and I'm looking and there's a guy passed out laying in the bed like this. So I go, what is this? The iana. What?

[Pete Corrielli]

You know, like, is this just.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Just the drapes open and you just get to see the guy after. Before. I don't know what's going some. And she's like, oh, someone was. This family member was visiting and they forgot to shut the drape. I'm sorry, let me shut the drape. I said, okay, well, let's not have me exposed once I'm out. So they're like, put this on. And, you know, put the. You know, take your clothes off and then put the robe on, the socks, the whole thing. So I put the whole thing on and I go, do you do this here? And she's like, no, no. We wheel you in to a room. Because I thought they were going to do it, like, here with a drape. And I'm sorry, this drape thing, they got to come up with a better way because I'm sitting there waiting, and then I hear the drape go across from me. Hey, hello, Mrs. Hubert.

[State Farm Announcer]

You were all out.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You're done. You know, do you want some juice? And you.

[Pete Corrielli]

Hey.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't want to hear other people's problems before I go in.

[Pete Corrielli]

I know, man. I know. I don't want to hear that. I don't. I don't like hearing a groan. I don't like hearing a groan. You know, it's like, you want soundproof?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I want my own room. I don't want to be sitting there and there's only a drape between me and. And somebody bleeding on the other side, you know, Say, I got a hard time with that. So I think just the drape. I'm looking at the drape going, this is the best drape you can get. It's like the kind of drapery that's like. Like, I don't know, Dexter would use for a kill. You know what I'm saying? Like, can we brighten it up? I mean, it's just the same drape in every hospital. It's, like, got the chains. It just.

[Pete Corrielli]

Sun and clouds on the drape. It sucks to just keep it bland, keep it in. It's keeping it with what it is. This sucks, right? This is just horrible, but horrible. I like your idea, though, of taking, like, a big old warehouse and specifically designing it for colonoscopies. So you do get mini rooms and everything you're saying. You know what I mean? Instead of this curtain shit, if you want to class it up. It's the most horrifying medical thing we have to do every five years. I feel like 20 years from now, they're going to go, did you ever hear how they used to do this? They used to have to take pills and piss and shit. Like, it's. It's going to be a joke, you know? So barbaric. This is all you got? With all the technology going on? What, the curtains? And we're all into Jesus.

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[Pete Corrielli]

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So this is what I don't like.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

On the other side of the curtain, there's the nurse, right? And the other nurse goes, no, no, not that. Not that way. You have to do it this way. And she goes, oh, this is the way I did it at my other office, but I only been here a month, so. Only been here a month. This is like, I don't want the person who's just started on my detail, right? I just. I don't want the trainee that she forgot to do this or forgot to do that. Next thing you know, they're clear. You know, I. I don't. I don't want any of that.

[Pete Corrielli]

So the idea, though, that they're just having a conversation over your limp body, right? Like, you're just. I didn't do that. My old job, we used to turn them this way. You're just. You're nothing, bro. You're cat, you. If you died right there, they wouldn't even miss their lunch break. They'd go bite into a tuna salad of 45 minutes later. By the way, she ain't a newbie. She's coming from somewhere else. So in my head, I'm like, hold on. Let's see. How did you do it in your old place, Carol? Maybe it's better than how we're doing it over here, you know?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, maybe the way she was doing it at her old place, that's what got her fired, and that's why she's here.

[Pete Corrielli]

That's true, right? They can't believe it. Like, if you call the old place, they go, she's working there now. Get her out. Get her out. You know, like one of psycho nurses. Oh, Jesus. I feel too open here. I feel like it's a little too much feel.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I could feel the energy. The energy is just. It's just a different energy we got going on. Oh, God.

[Pete Corrielli]

So, all right, here we are doing this, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So now. Oh, the nurse comes in. The other nurse comes in to tell me how everything's gonna go. She goes, oh, you finally made it after canceling twice. You know, like, she's.

[Pete Corrielli]

She's.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Let's not.

[Pete Corrielli]

Not the place.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Not the place or the time to be doing, like, my. My cancellations. Why now? Now you're looking at me different. Are you now not gonna take care of me as good because I canceled the fucking appointment twice?

[Pete Corrielli]

That's right. That's right. You're getting the angry version. Oh, are you already. Are you already in the robe thing at this point?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm in the rogue.

[Pete Corrielli]

I'm not even in civvies anymore, and you're hitting me with this about scheduling? Yeah, come on. You know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So they wheel me in. Now I'm getting a colonoscopy and an endoscopy.

[Pete Corrielli]

What's the endo?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

What's that? Well, I. I thought it was all up the ass. Yeah, like.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, the end.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I thought they. They put the thing up there. And the endo was one way and the colon was the other way. Right? And I think, if I remember correctly, I think the endo is the small intestine. Check that up. It was on the throat. Yeah. Okay. I want to get to that.

[Pete Corrielli]

Double penetration.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So they go, open your mouth. Open my mouth. And they put a ball gag in my mouth. What the fuck? So you feel so helpless, bro. Like, I'm turned to my side. My ass is hanging out, right? Oh, yeah. I'll tell you when to put this up. And then they open your mouth, put this in and bite down. So I'm biting down on this ball gag, and then. I didn't even know it's got straps. So they strap it to me, bro. I look like what's his name out of Silence of the Lambs, right? They. Yeah, they strap a ball gag in, right.

[Pete Corrielli]

Holy shit.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So this is kind of what I look like. I'm gonna have you take a look at. This is. Brian. What the fuck? So they go down the esophagus into the stomach, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

Okay. All right. Where's your anesthesia coming from? Does your nose come.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

My arm. So I got a. Okay, you could take this off. I have an IV in my arm. So they're like, okay, we've started the anesthesia, right? I'm like, okay. And I've never been put under before other than when I was a kid and I had my wisdom teeth pulled, but I don't remember that. So the nurse goes, and I think, this is strange. She goes, I'm a fan. This is with a ball gag in my mouth. And I'm looking at her, she's. I'm a fan. And I saw you at the LA Forum a few years back, and I'm thinking, like, I don't know, what do you say to that? Like.

[Pete Corrielli]

This is like. You ever see Misery with James Khan, Kathy Bates? She's hovering over his limp body with an ax. I love your books. Holy. You could have said this before they wheeled me in and gagged me. Oh, my God, this is so funny. Captive audience.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, my God, bro. So I'm thinking myself in my head as I'm thinking, I go, you saw, like, you saw me perform, and now you're gonna see the inside of my. On a screen.

[Pete Corrielli]

He.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

How could you be a fan after that? Like, I lost a fan as far as I'm concerned, Right?

[Pete Corrielli]

I don't know, man. I mean, if. If I was a doctor and I had to give Tom Cruise a colonoscopy, I don't think I. I would just love him more. I'm like, dude, I've. You know. So like, if the gag's already in your mouth and she's trying it and she's telling you that. Are you, like, are you saying. Are you going.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No. No. It's the last thing I remember. And I was gone. Gone. But I didn't know they were going down this. Every hole I had, they were going in, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah. So you didn't know that going. Driving there, you didn't know they were going to stick something down your throat?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No.

[Pete Corrielli]

Wow, that's a. That's a crazy thing to find out so soon to it happening.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Well, I didn't even know they went down my throat. You know what I thought the ball gag was for? Just in case when they went up my ass, if I.

[Pete Corrielli]

You don't bite your tongue off.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

Listen, put this in your mouth and it's either gonna feel great, you won't need it ever again, or you're gonna be glad you had it in your mouth because you almost bit your tongue off. Right? Yeah. That's nuts. That's crazy, man. Down the throat. I couldn't. So you don't know?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I. I don't know. I woke up in the room that I started in, right? And it was unbelievable. It was like time stopped this drug, this, this Michael Jackson drug, it's beautiful. I mean, if I could sleep like that every night. That deep where you could shove a fucking thing up my ass. And I don't even know about it, right? And I woke up, I bit my lip. I think the ball gag wasn't put in properly. And I bit my lip, so. And it still hurts. I must have had a tooth in there because this thing is this burning right now. Burning.

[Pete Corrielli]

So.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Nothing. Like there was a tube down my esophagus.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, I know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And I don't. I don't feel that. I thought there would be something, some residual something. Nothing. Feel fine.

[Pete Corrielli]

It's unbelievable. It's, it's, it's. And, and it's like you could. Let's say you're going to bed and you got some terrible news about something. Something terrible that would normally keep you up crying, no problem. You're gonna Forget about in 10 seconds with that, with the anesthesia. You just wake up the next day, right? It's a beautiful. So was that. That's. You're saying Michael Jackson was on that? That's what he was. He was on anesthesia?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, he was using that to go to sleep. It's. I can't never say the word. Perpathol. Propofol. Propofol. Propofol. Propofol is the drug. And I. From what I understand, he was administering the shit himself. Could you. I mean, Jesus, you imagine every night just.

[Pete Corrielli]

So the same stuff that was going in your arm can come in, like he was taking. Oh, it wasn't pill, it was gas.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I don't know. I don't know if it was gas. I don't know what he was doing, and I don't know how the doctor was. But it's got to be monitored, you know?

[Pete Corrielli]

I mean, this.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Like, my biggest fear is getting up in the middle of that. Can you imagine waking up and all of a sudden you got something down your throat, up your ass. Oh, my God. And then the guy's got to go fucking get him back down.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're freaking out. Oh, my God. What if there was an earthquake?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh, God.

[Pete Corrielli]

Fell off. What if there was like a nuclear bomb that hit la? And no matter what, what your life, what you do for a job, you don't care anymore. You're just trying to get to your family and they all just run out and leave you with a tube down your throat. Yeah, man, that's a crazy now. Was Lana with you in the waiting room?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's a crazy Thought, oh, yeah, hysterical. Yeah, I mean, that's. That would be my luck. Everybody scatters and I'm in a hospital bed down la, trying to try to get home, wake up, and that one.

[Pete Corrielli]

Nurse is still standing there. Told you I was a fan. It's going to be me and you. We'll get through this. Did you get nauseous?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, no. Lana's nowhere to be found. Lana dropped me off like I was going to school, you know, and then I'll pick you up when the bell rings.

[Pete Corrielli]

So nice.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So. Oh, the doctor came in before and he was explaining what was gonna happen and he was smiling. He goes, eh, it's gonna be a piece of cake. I go, yeah. I go, I wanna see if you're smiling. After what you see inside me, I wanna see if this smile's still here when you come back in. He goes, oh, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Okay. Is that what he says to everybody? Like, is. He go, don't worry about it? And then he comes in and goes, I'm sorry. I said, don't worry about it, but we got to start worrying. Yeah.

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, I would imagine that's how it rolls, right? Don't worry about it until you have to.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. Well, he comes in and I'm looking at his face right as he comes into the drape. I'm looking at all of his mannerisms and I'm looking at his face. If he's worried, if he's got to, like, you know, I'm gonna tell him.

[Pete Corrielli]

Takes that extra. Right. When he sees you, he goes, right. That extra breath. Oh, shit. You don't do that extra breath if you're about to give good news. Like, he got the job. No, you're dying, right? So you're checking it all, bro. You always do that. You can't just tweet.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No scanning. So he goes, everything's great again. Yeah. But no, I go, is this. Is this like a compliment sandwich? You know, when you. You gotta tell an employee that they're doing something wrong? So you start off with, listen, you're always on time, you do a great job, you're really good with the customers. But the button you pressed yesterday completely wiped out all the accounts, you know, Like, I'm waiting for that.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah, yeah, man. There was a pulp. We found the pulp.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Everything's great, but you're bleeding internally. That's what I was. So everything's great. Couple polyps, three polyps they found. They cut them out. No big. No big deal, right?

[Pete Corrielli]

That's what I meant. What? I call them polyps. Polyp.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, we know what you. We know what you meant. We're not even correcting you anymore.

[Pete Corrielli]

What are they? Are you worried when they cut them out? Like, what does that mean? Like barnacles on a dock? Like what? Like, if you. If you didn't get those out, would I die sooner? Right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Like, I don't know. To be honest with you, I don't know what exactly they mean. I know that sometimes when you have them, they could be cancerous. But he goes, I'm not worried. I think they send them out to see if they're a problem. But he said the way they looked, I guess, is not an issue.

[Pete Corrielli]

So.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I got an A.

[Pete Corrielli]

Nice.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

He wants to see me again in five years, which is fine, but I'm glad I did it. I'm glad the results came back in a positive way, of course. But the residual anesthesia that I had left over from me because Lana came to pick me up, by the way, he says, don't do any workout after this. Don't drive a car, and don't make any financial decisions. He goes, if your wife comes up to you with a piece of paper to sign, don't sign it.

[Pete Corrielli]

I like that. I like that joke. It's funny.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. So I gotta tell you, afterwards, nothing bothered me. Nothing. The whole day long, Lana was talking to me. And normally, sometimes I would say, you know, Lana, come on, get to the point. It's like just sitting there listening to her. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it's terrible.

[Pete Corrielli]

Nice. Wow. Lasted a while.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah. And then there was hints of, like, me coming back to normal, where Lana goes, oh, it's wearing off. It's wearing off.

[Pete Corrielli]

The Pete and Sebastian Show.

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[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You could be just fine.

[Pete Corrielli]

I'll take good care of you.

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When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail] so that was that.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I was a little screwed up the weekend just because I felt like, you know, I don't know, I'm still having some side effects from the anesthesia, but other than that, feel great and ready to get ready to tackle the week.

[Pete Corrielli]

So can I ask a question? Did you, did you go? Did you have a celebratory? Maybe not that day, but when you were ready to go back at it hard, did you have a nice, hearty, delicious meal? And if so, would you go with like the pipes again, right?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Oh yeah, of course.

[Pete Corrielli]

Primary. We just did the floors and you come walking in with muddy feet. Oh my God. One day you don't even do a salad for two days and pretend you're gonna.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Right? I dive right back into polluting the colon again. So yeah, that Friday night we had some people over and then what the hell did we do Saturday? Saturday was Lana's birthday. We went out to eat that night. And then Sunday I went over to my sister's. So yeah, it was good. So next is the heart. I'm going to tackle the heart. I'm going to go do a heart scan, see if I have any calcium buildup. So just all preventative. Being our age, I'd rather catch it early than walk in and go, when was your last cardiogram or whatever? I never had one. Never had one. That explains It. Here's your death certificate.

[Pete Corrielli]

But do you believe there's probably. Maybe Patrick could even Google this somebody in America at some point, a man on his way to see his heart doctor got in a car accident and died. You know what I'm saying? So there's like the Iron man or.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Had a heart attack on the way there.

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, my. Can you imagine that man so close. Got that. Too late. You know, every. I just want to add though, everything I'm. All these stuff I see online. Every single doctor always says working out is. The last doctor I saw said working out. If you smoke cigarettes, the damage you do to your body, isn't it. If you work out, that actually can offset the damage you do. It doesn't even. Like, you look at John Mellencamp. He smoked four or five packs a day, but he said he'd work out. Sean Penn, same thing. Like an animal. To justify that kind of smoking. And they're still around. It's insane. Yeah, four packs of cigarettes a day.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And two miles on a treadmill apparently negates it.

[Pete Corrielli]

Everything. Still weeks of smoke. Do you do any cardio? Like, what are you doing these days? Like, I have a. Do you. Do you do boxing?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, but that is an unbelievable workout. I've done boxing before, and I don't know how these guys do it. I've done it for two minutes straight doing. Hitting the pads, somebody's pads, and it's. It's. It's. I'm ready to throw up.

[Pete Corrielli]

If you. Have you ever boxed with headgear?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No.

[Pete Corrielli]

No, that still hurt? No. Like, if you and I boxed each other with headgear, would we hurt. Would we hurt each other? Like, I feel like it would still hurt if you hit me in the fucking stomach or something.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Do you think if we boxed that I could knock your fucking head off?

[Pete Corrielli]

I think I'd win on points. Guy rope a dope. I'd rope. I'd dance around you with my long arms.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Yeah, I think I would have a problem. I think I would have a problem with your jab. Just keep sticking me with the jab and just kind of peppering me with. With, you know, headshots and body shots. However, I think a rib shot might be. Yeah, I could get, like, one of these Tyson shots on you and. And knock the. Out of you. Yeah, I think so.

[Pete Corrielli]

I see that. I could see that. And then I could see you getting all rocky about it and just keep going for the same spot. I know, but I don't know. Like, if. If you took a Shot with the headgear. How much, like, does it really protect you? Like, I mean, I think it doesn't protect you.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's still. I think it's still dangerous. I think you could still have some head damage from it, but I think you could get knocked out with headgear on.

[Pete Corrielli]

Have you even ever been in a boxing gym?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No, I've never been in a boxing gym.

[Pete Corrielli]

Only one time in Manhattan, just walking, like, 22nd street or something. I was with a friend of mine, and there was a staircase and it said boxing up there. And we just literally wanted to check it out. When we got to the top of the steps and it was a bunch of dudes wailing on bags. And an old guy right away came over and was like, get the hell out of here. There's a game up here. Like, it was almost like at Iraqi and, like, told us, get the out. We went back down. Go away. Go back to the docks where you belong. But it was like, it was the real deal. It was like, it was. No, you know, I live in the Village, and I just come here to train. It was like dudes off the street trying to become boxes. Just the bags had duct tape on them. They've been hit so much and fucking ripped.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But, yeah, I feel like if you walk into a boxing gym, like, it's similar to Rocky. Remember when Rocky walked in, everybody stopped what they were doing. When he walked in, it was actually. I think this was Rocky 3. Apollo took him to his gym and he walked in with Rocky. Apollo walked in with Rocky in Apollo's gym and everybody was staring down Stallone. Like, it was almost like you entered an animal cage and the animals were sizing you up. Like, you know, who's this? Who's this. This guy? This is where I started. Yeah, that's your problem. We should just do an experiment, walk into one of these gyms together to see the reaction we get from the local client.

[Pete Corrielli]

Sebastian, who the fuck is this guy? That's what I think. If they're Italian, can you sign my gloves?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Believe me, I don't think that's my. I think that's my crowd.

[Pete Corrielli]

Well, it depends. I mean, I'm talking, like, you know, like you said. Are there, like, you know, different? Like, is there, like, a club boxing gym that's mostly black guys? And then is there another one that's Italian guys or, like, is a gym a gym? And everybody comes in and, like, you know, I don't know. I don't know the culture. Is it dying, by the way? Because of mma Anyway, I don't know.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I mean, there's a gym called. What's. What's the name of the gym in Hollywood here? That what's his name's got. Freddie Roach. Freddie Roach.

[Pete Corrielli]

I run a business here, not a goddamn soup kitchen. The Pete Corelli, as I was saying, comedy tour kicks off in mid October. It's going everywhere. So go to Pete Corelli.com and you can get tickets. And I hope to see you out there, man. I really do. It's going to be fun. Back to the cast.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Two weeks in at the Rock. Give me. Are we still feeling the same positivity? Oh, my God, this was the great move. Or are we seeing some cracks in the foundation going, this guy over here could be a problem. What's. What's. What do we know?

[Pete Corrielli]

Positivity. One neighbor brought over baked goods, which were delicious. Welcome to the neighborhood. Then two, yesterday, another two neighbors introduced themselves, brought over some wine. Very nice of them. Everyone's fan. Very nice. Moving at this age, at this point in our lives, though, it was a. It was a crazy. It was a ballsy thing to do. It's overwhelming. It's overwhelming. And a guy in my neighborhood sent me an email from Fredonia. A friend, you know, he's got kids too. And at the. He goes, I just want to. This is back when we were moving. You know, everyone says, good luck and this, that, but this guy writes, hey, man, I know it's hard doing what you do, and I just want to move. And he goes, I just want to let you know, kudos to you for having the guts to do what a lot of us wish we could do. It's. It's. It takes balls to do it at this. To tough to do at this age, and good for you guys for doing it. And I was like, wow, man. This is a guy who gets it. Like, you move, it's all your shit, dude. It's all new now and it's not settled in. And like, I try to, like, you know, do some writing or get the cast stuff set up. And then you look over in his boxes and it bothers you. And then it's killing me, man. The kid has. She's trying to make friends, and it's tough, man. She's coming home and she's upset, and, you know, Jackie's like, what'd you think, it was gonna happen overnight? You guys gotta toughen up, you know, me and Sadie, because she comes home and she's got. She has no friends, she doesn't know anybody. And these kids, they're not. Not. They're nice. They're totally nice. They're not, like, excluding her. But you're 12. You don't know what it's like to. To not. You know. They don't know what she's going through. They don't really. Like, they all grew up together. She's like, I'm sitting at the table and, you know, and we're like, are you talking? Yeah, I'll ask them something. And then they answer me, and then they talk to each other. And I'm just. I'm like, it's gonna happen. She's gonna take time. It's gonna take the. You know. But it breaks your heart, man. You know, every day she goes out there.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's brutal. Kid at the school. Oh, God.

[Pete Corrielli]

You get on the bus and, like, you know, get on the.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But I could just see it. Getting on the bus with the backpack, sitting. Sitting alone. Oh, God. Everybody else having fun in the back. Yeah, she's got to hear that, right? And then some nerds that's next door. Oh. Oh, God.

[Pete Corrielli]

She's got. There's a girl who lives by us, same age. And the girl's very nice girl, but again, you know, it's like. Even said to the. Sadie, remember when a new girl came to Fredonia? She's like, yeah, Dad, I talked to her and I had to sit with me for lunch. I go, day one, then what happened? Day two, well, she found her friends. Oh, yeah, she found the friends. Say, that's what happened. Yeah, you forgot. Like, it's so. These kids, they're not being mean or anything. They're being. They're being kids. They're being. But, like, so, like, we're like, you have to try and, you know, be more. You know, you have to. You have to. It's. It's. You're not the center of attention with all your buds back home now, you gotta get. Ask questions, ask them how they're doing, you know? So this morning, I'm like, I'm taking the dog out, and Sadie goes out to the bus to wait for the bus. And it comes, like, pretty much right in front of the house. And there's a girl over here, a couple doors over, and Sadie waves, and the girl waves back. And then I'm walking with the dog, and I see Sadie grab all her stuff and walk across the lawn. Like, it's like when your kid does what you're telling them they should do, it's like, it breaks your heart, you know, you're like, there she goes. She's trying, man. So I can't wait till she has friends, man. You know, if it was a boy, I wouldn't care as much. You know, Just figure it out.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But with a girl, you know, it's tough, man. It's tough, man. It's making me not want to move.

[Pete Corrielli]

Yeah. You know, and then, you know, we'll, like, say to you at the age, too, we're not gonna say. We're not gonna call parents and say anything. You gotta figure this out on your own. And Jackie's, you know, it's like, it's gonna make a stronger. And she's gonna look back on this and be like, you know, I can't remember when I was, like, freaking out. I had no friends, but it's just sitting there. I go, try to laugh at it. Just try to. Sometimes when things are so bad, when you're biting into your sandwich. She said at one point, on one of the first few days, she goes, dad, I was. At one point, I was sitting there, and a girl was next to me, and then she had to move because something was sticky on her shirt from the table. So she goes. So she moved. So at one point, it was five girls on the other side and just me. And I go, do you think she only moved because she wanted to sit there? She goes, no, she kept fixing her shirt, so it definitely was sticky. And I go, well, when it gets that crazy and you, like, don't know how to do, I go, just laugh. Just be like, holy shit, this is, like, insane. I know nobody. And try to laugh to yourself and just. It's gonna get better, man. Because. Yeah, and these kids, they're all cool. They're answering questions. They're saying hi to her there. I go, you know, what do you want them to do? Jumping jacks? They don't know you. Be funny. Say something. Ask them questions. They're not mean. I want to make that crystal clear.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's just the culture, you know, you gotta. You gotta blend them. That that's gonna happen, though. It's. It's. It's tough. Growing pains, but that. That definitely will happen. I have to ask you this, though. It's been on the minds of a lot of listeners. I know, but I'm gonna just ask for the group. Has Jackie found her running route yet?

[Pete Corrielli]

Oh, gosh. Wait till she. Is that. Yeah, well, I was trying to tell you on the first day. We're on. We're right down the block from the Erie Canal, which goes all the way to Albany. It's this. I explained it to you guys. It's a canal that was made to connect the lakes. You should know, growing up in Chicago. So she runs on that. We got. Dude, we have trails everywhere. I come out of my house, I go down the block, and there's trails, like, actual trails that go on and on and on. So it's dynamite. There's a lot of that. There's a lot of that, man. That's good. It's just that my powers are weak here. Nobody knows what I do.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

That's great.

[Pete Corrielli]

Nobody. What?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's like. No, it's like, almost like witness protection. Like, nobody knows this guy.

[Pete Corrielli]

I used to. I used to mow my lawn. I like the honk. I was like. I was like Rocky jogging in the neighborhood. When I mow my lawn for Donnie, I get beep, beep. I didn't even look. I just. I just knew that one hand, like, stop, you know?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So have you got a lay of the land yet in regards to, like, you take the car out to go do an errand? Do you go and go, oh, I got a Starbucks, man. Have we had any of these moments?

[Pete Corrielli]

So exciting. Yeah. Bagel sushi joint. Like, oh, my God, look at that over there. And then, like, the other night, we're hanging out, we hear music, and I'm like, jack, that's from the brewery all the way up. They say it's awesome. On Saturday nights. We could hear it from here. Like, it's. I want you guys to visit. It's really cool, man. But I want to ask you a question, because the other day we went to Home Depot, Jackie and I, and we're coming out, and I go, what do I do right here? And she goes, oh, my God, it's left. Pete, this is the second time we're here. You already don't know. You know, it's like, you have to know where you go. I go, jack, if I wasn't with you, I would just Google the address of the home and the call would take me home. I don't care. I don't. And she goes, you should care. It's dumb. It's dumb to not know how to get around where you live. You're just not going to learn. I go, I don't know. I don't know how long I'm going to be here. I don't know. Like, I'm not going out of my way to figure it out when this can do it for me. What's your take on that? Do you think when you Live in some place. It's important to know your way around and not to just rely as much on gps.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

It's not even important right now to even read.

[Pete Corrielli]

I mean, it's not. Bro.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You could have a book read to you, right? So like, why even bother with reading, right? With anything. I mean, I don't even know how. If somebody said, how do I get to the 110 freeway from your house? I have no idea.

[Pete Corrielli]

Like, you know how to get to certain places out of your fate. Like your gym, if you had a gym, or, you know, a restaurant.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

But, but even to go to my sister's house, I still put the GPS on and I, I've been going there for nine years. It's, it's, it's 24 miles away.

[Pete Corrielli]

Thank you.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Gotta, you gotta hit like a couple freeways and I never know which one. Is it north? Is it south, east? I don't know. Just look at the screen. Okay, in 0.2 miles, I'm going to be getting off at the exit 63B.

[Pete Corrielli]

Boom.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

And yeah, put it this way, even with the GPS on, if I'm not paying attention, I'll go right past the exit. Like that's how I have no idea where I'm at. Like, I don't even go, oh, wait a minute, this looks familiar. I should get off here. Nothing. I could literally go to Vegas and wouldn't know.

[Pete Corrielli]

If I'm not looking. You wouldn't even realize that. I feel like we've been in the car three hours, right? You ever drive somewhere where you're using your GPS and you think to yourself, how the hell did anyone ever do this with just a map? This is crazy. You know, like the whole idea of when you get off the exit, you want to get over really quick. You only have like a half a mile to get over because then you gotta make another exit on the left. You know, it's like nuts. But I'm glad you said that because I feel better about it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Ah, don't worry about it. Don't worry about where you're going. Just put the freaking phone on and let it tell you where to go. Not knowing where you're at.

[Pete Corrielli]

Right there.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

This is it. This is my brain.

[Pete Corrielli]

I was in a cybertruck. Were you ever in one? I was in one a couple weeks back.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

No. No.

[Pete Corrielli]

And the friends that had us in it put it on self drive and we all sat back and I go, does it go slow? And he goes, you could set it to go the speed limit, five miles an hour. More than the speed limit. Five miles an hour less than the speed limit. And then he goes, we're gonna put it in beast mode. Have you even ever heard of this?

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I heard of beast mode. I don't know what it does, though. What does it do?

[Pete Corrielli]

He hits it, goes from zero to 60 in, like, one and a half seconds. Something crazy. It's like, put yourself on the fastest jet you've ever been on, and that's what happens to you. Like, just back you go, right back into your seat. It's. I feel like I'm in, like, the future. It's insane.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Dude, tell Jackie I don't even need to drive anymore. Why would I want to know if I could take a right or left? The car does it.

[Pete Corrielli]

Wait a minute. Tell the car you're going to want to turn right here. Cyber truck, right? It's done. The other one is Grok. What is this? Groke Grok. Like, that's just the end all now. I love it because, like, what's that? Like, let's say if you're on Twitter and. And they. And there's like a. Like, I saw one recently where a freaking lion got a hawk in the air. And I'm like, shit, that's not real, right? And then you go through Twitter and someone will say, hey, Groke Pat, you know what I'm talking about? Is this real?

[AI/Twitter Announcer]

It's. Yeah, it's the AI that Elon Musk has, and it's wrapped into Twitter, so you can mainly use it on Twitter, but you can. You can pull it from anywhere. But it's the one that's built into Twitter and it's. It's doing a good job of getting people who normally aren't looking up AI to use it, because it's like, it's in your face on Twitter all the time. Or X.

[Pete Corrielli]

Okay.

[AI/Twitter Announcer]

And that's the one where he's building, like, the biggest data center in the world somewhere in. I think it's in Tennessee or something like that.

[Pete Corrielli]

Okay, all right. So it's like, thank you. It's like this, too. Like, let's say there's a photo of a starving child. And they go, trump's letting children starve at detention centers. Groke. Someone will like, is this real? And then the AI will go, this is actually a photo from Blah, blah, blah. It is not related to Trump and other portrait. And you're like. And then we all go, okay, we're done with that. So it's like, you don't need to know anything. All you need to know how to do is wipe your ass. That's it for now. It's crazy.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

I know. It's. It's really unbelievable. The. The amount of stuff that we don't even need to do anymore. All right, listen, that's our time here. Pete and Sebastian show. We. We've reached our ceiling. Do you have any dates coming up? Don't you have a tour that you're starting out in?

[Pete Corrielli]

Yes. As I was saying, Tor kicks off in Portland in October. You go to pcorielli.com and all the dates there. More dates are being added. Man, it's rough going. It's going.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

So there you go. Pete's on the road in October. And check us out on patreon.com Pete Sebastian Show. We. We do some really nice things over at the Patreon. Five bucks a month, and that's it. We're out.

[Pete Corrielli]

All right. Good hanging. The show has ended.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

You saw me perform, and now you're gonna see the inside of my. On a screen.

[Pete Corrielli]

How can I be.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

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[Pete Corrielli]

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