688: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 688 - BEST OF 2025 PT. 02

Summary

The Pete and Sebastian Show – EP 688: BEST OF 2025 PT. 02

Release Date: January 6, 2026
Hosts: Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco
Podcast by: Studio71

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Episode Overview

This special "Best of 2025 Pt. 2" episode compiles some of Pete and Sebastian’s funniest, quirkiest, and most memorable moments from the past year. The legendary comic duo takes listeners through tales of awkward family holidays, travel disaster stories, oddball parenting issues, Italian vacations, dog woes, and sharp observations of modern life, all wrapped in their trademark banter. This “Best Of” is a perfect snapshot of what makes the show beloved: dissecting life's smallest annoyances, cultural clashes, and idiosyncratic habits with sharp wit and honest, often self-deprecating humor.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Holiday & Family Mishaps

• Pete’s “Garbage Can” Incident
  Pete tells the hilariously gross story of sleeping at his in-laws with his family, leading to creative (and questionable) solutions for nighttime bathroom trips ([00:34]–[03:23]).
  • Quote: “So the rest of the night I pee in a garbage can that’s right by the bed that my mother-in-law put there with a white bag...I got to tell you, it was just phenomenal to just take one step out of the bed and pee.” – Pete ([01:58])
  • Pete’s wife’s reaction and his strategy to hide evidence from father-in-law adds to the comedy.

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2. Pool Parties & Bizarre Lifeguards

• French Fries in the Pool / The Amish Lifeguard
  • Pete’s bewilderment at finding French fries in his pool at a party leads to a discussion about skimming responsibility, event planning, and the odd fact of hiring an Amish lifeguard ([04:34]–[08:57]).
    • Quote: “He was like…It was like having a live scarecrow in my backyard.” – Pete ([06:22])
    • Sebastian’s horror: “If somebody was drowning and that toe hit the pool, you’d have to get everybody out and drain the pool anyway, Right?” ([07:33])

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3. Parenting Quirks & Kid Sophistication

• Cologne for Kids / Sophisticated Sons
  • Sebastian’s son is the only kid in school wearing cologne and sits with his legs elegantly crossed at age 5 ([09:20]–[13:31]).
    • Quote: “I dare to say my kid out of the whole school...is the only kid wearing cologne.” – Sebastian ([10:38])
    • The duo marvels at how advanced and unusual their children behave, blending pride and observation.

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4. Italian Vacation Antics & Cultural Pet Peeves

• Pool Chair Wars in Puglia
  • Sebastian recounts a tense moment at an Italian hotel when British tourists try to take their reserved pool chairs ([13:30]–[18:14]).
    • Quote: “I took my shoe off and I threw it on the seats. I go, there, now they’re saved. You happy now?” – Sebastian ([16:54])
• Blue Grotto Racket
  • The elaborate and “sketchy” system of paying to enter the famous Blue Grotto on Capri, including rogue boatmen and floating credit card machines ([18:32]–[24:50]).
    • Quote: “No WiFi on my phone, but this guy’s got credit card capabilities.” – Sebastian ([21:31])
    • Musical chaos inside the Grotto: “If you’re gonna charge 50, get everybody on the same song, all right?” ([24:25])

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5. Explaining Life’s Mysteries to Kids

• The Jesus on the Cross Dilemma
  • Pete explains to his kids who Jesus is—their only reference point is Pete yelling “Jesus Christ!” when angry ([27:26]–[30:45]).
    • Quote: “That’s the only, that’s their only exposure to him, when Daddy gets mad.” – Pete ([28:34])
    • Pete’s comical, awkward explanation of the crucifixion as “doing magic around town” goes predictably sideways.

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6. Modern Communication Gripes

• Emoji-Only Mother-in-Law & Texting Philosophy
  • Pete’s frustration with his mother-in-law’s emoji-only texts and the etiquette of immediate replies or overly long emails ([31:26]–[36:10]):
    • Quote: “I have to tell her, your whisper sucks. You gotta work on your whisper. It’s not good.” – Pete ([44:06])
    • Dissecting “overly responsive” texting and elaborate email culture.

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7. Air Travel: Then and Now

• Standing Seats & Lost Glamour
  • Outrage over airlines introducing standing seats, contrasted with nostalgia for mid-century flying ([36:32]–[40:43]).
    • Quote: “You don’t buy a seat, you buy a board for your back.” – Pete ([37:08])
    • Observations on changing expectations—kids now indifferent to flying.

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8. Whispering and Public Behavior

• “I Whisper Better Than Most People”
  • Detailed, funny breakdowns of their own and spouses’ whispering techniques and the unwritten rules of restaurant/airplane voices ([41:05]–[44:14]).

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9. Dog Problems and Domestic Delegation

• Not a Dog Guy
  • Sebastian’s complaints about being drawn into dog training chaos despite never wanting a second dog. Includes a classic bit on stubborn retriever games ([44:22]–[48:08]).

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10. Show Biz, Google Fame, and Alien Recognition

• Are We Even Famous?
  • The hosts fruitlessly google themselves to see if they’d show up as “top comedians.” The joke turns existential: “So if you’re an alien…you’d go see Bill Burr because he comes up first.” ([54:38])
    • Bemoaning the vagaries of fame and being “shadow banned.”

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11. Miscellaneous: Popes, Monster Trucks, Blister Water

• The “Chicago” Pope
  • Sebastian pitches a food tour of Chicago with the new Pope, noting his local-mobster vibes and the surreal transformation from “Father Bob” to pontiff ([49:23]–[52:33]).
• Monster Truck Comfort Zone
  • Brief reflection on thrill-seeking childhoods and the comfort found in nontraditional vehicles ([56:50]–[58:33]).
• “Blister Water,” A Brilliant Prank
  • Pete describes a fictitious health beverage made from blister fluid, seeing how long Sebastian will play along ([65:37]–[68:26]).
    • Quote: “So they bottle that, and you’re drinking people’s blister water?” – Sebastian ([67:23])
    • Pete ultimately admits he invented it as a prank.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Handling Bathroom Needs at In-Laws:
  “It was just phenomenal to just take one step out of the bed and pee...I think I was still dreaming when I was peeing.” – Pete ([01:58])
• On Hiring a Lifeguard:
  “It was like having a live scarecrow in my backyard.” – Pete ([06:22])
• Summing Up Their Humor:
  “Typical Pete and Sebastian, where we take every little thing and dissect it. People are like, ‘What’s ‘26 gonna bring?’ It’s gonna bring more of the same shit, man.” – Pete ([00:34])
• Shoe-Throwing Pool Side:
  “I took my shoe off and I threw it on the seats. I go, there, now they’re saved. You happy now?” – Sebastian ([16:54])
• Parenting Philosophy:
  “Does he, is he at the point yet where, like, Dad, you didn’t hit me yet, like, if you didn’t put (cologne) on?” – Pete ([12:09])
• On Family Texting Styles:
  “She texts strictly with emojis…There’s no meaning behind it, you know what I’m saying?” – Pete ([31:26])
• Classic Country Song Observations:
  “Where’s the song about my kid won’t shut up in the back?” – Pete ([59:30])
• Getting Pranked with “Blister Water”:
  “I made it up. I was dangling. I was trying to fish.” – Pete ([68:26])
  “So they bottle that, and you’re drinking people’s blister water?” – Sebastian ([67:23])

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Segment Timestamps

• Welcome & Episode Context: [00:30]
• In-laws Holiday Mishaps: [00:34]–[04:34]
• Pool/Lifeguard Stories: [04:34]–[09:03]
• Parenting & Cologne for Kids: [09:20]–[13:31]
• Italian Vacation – Pool Chair Wars: [13:30]–[18:14]
• Blue Grotto Adventure: [18:32]–[24:50]
• Discussing Jesus with The Kids: [27:59]–[30:45]
• Communication Annoyances: [31:26]–[36:10]
• Modern Air Travel: [36:32]–[40:43]
• Dog Frustrations: [44:22]–[48:08]
• Celebrity & Google Results: [54:38]–[56:09]
• Popes & Chicago: [49:23]–[52:33]
• Fictitious Blister Water Bit: [65:37]–[68:26]

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Tone & Language

The tone throughout is casual, irreverent, and filled with authentic comic rapport. Both hosts drop frequent f-bombs and speak with sharp observational humor, bracing self-deprecation, and relatable annoyance at life's little absurdities. Family affection shines through the gripes, while their rants and riffs remain solidly rooted in their working-class, Italian-American sensibilities.

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For New Listeners

This “Best Of” is a perfect primer—a rapid-fire collection of real-life stories and comedic riffing that highlights everything fans love about Pete and Sebastian. Even without prior context, you’ll get drawn into their world of high-maintenance holidays, overcomplicated social rules, and the quest for dignity and laughs in the madness of middle age.

If you enjoy sharp takes on everyday situations, comic explorations of family and culture, and a sense of genuine friendship behind the mic, this episode is well worth the listen.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

It's a historically hideous season.

[B]

It's our 100th ugly house.

[A]

And if these walls could talk.

[B]

Do you cry a lot?

[A]

I do. Ugliest house in America. Season premiere Wednesday at 8 on HGTV.

[B]

This is the Pete and Sebastian show with Pete Corrielli and Sebastian Maniscalco.

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Guys, welcome back to the Pete and Sebastian show. As you know, we don't normally do this, but now we're doing it like seemingly every other week. No, seriously, because it's the end of the year and it's the end of a 13 year run, man. We've been doing this 13 years now. Unbelievable. The Pete and Sebastian show. Anyway, Cans and Patrick put together and DJ Lou behind the scenes, sort of a best of from the middle of the year. All right, so we took a bunch of shows from the middle of the Pete and Sebastian season last year. And these are some of the best moments or we think of the funniest moments. You know, everything from Sebastian going to Italy on vacation, the Blue Grotto and going there, and my problems with my neighbor in Fredonia and everything in between, man, it's, you know, typical Pete and Sebastian where we take every little thing and dissect it. People like, what's 26 gonna bring? It's gonna bring more of the same shit, man. We're going to dissect every little thing. I'll give you a little taste. Went to my in laws for Christmas and we had to sleep upstairs at my in laws. They're both in their late 80s, 89 and 87 respectively. And they did their best to set up the upstairs, which is usually just storage at this point. So we had to blow up an air mattress for my daughter. And me and Jackie were going to sleep on a bed anyway. When we laid out the air mattress, it blocked the entrance to the doorway of the bedroom we were in. And then my wife's like, but this air mattress, she goes, is kind of comfortable. I think I'm just going to sleep with Sadie. I said, all right, but I got to climb over you guys to go to the bathroom every night. And she's like, well, just don't step on us. So in the middle of the night, I climb over. My wife, kind of annoying, wakes me up way more than I want to be. And I go to the bathroom and I come back, I'm like, this ain't working. So the rest of the night I pee in a garbage can that's right by the bed that my mother in law put there with a white bag. It's a white Glad bag over it. And I got to tell you, it was just phenomenal to just take one step out of the bed and pee. I don't even think I. I think I was still dreaming when I was peeing. I didn't even come full out of my dreams. And then just to go right back to bed. And this is even gross. Better. I'm not sharing this with Sebastian. At one point, I had to move the can away from the edge of the bed because the pee stench was hitting my nose like smelling salts and waking me up. Jesus. I had to move my own can away. So then the next morning, my wife goes, everyone sleep good? And I'm like, yeah, you guys. Yeah. And I go, did I wake you up? When I went. And she's like, no, but I think you only went once, Pete. That's good, because you're always saying how you go to the bathroom so much at night. And I was like, well, we'll talk about it later. So later I told her. I was like, I did go. More than once. I went as many times I normally do. I just went in a garbage can. And then, of course, she's like, I'm in my 50s, and I still got to deal with this. My wife's like, what'd you do with the garbage can? And I'm like, why? Because.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Your mom and dad's. What did I do with it? I was like, relax. In the morning, I took the bag, I tied it up, and I threw it in the garbage can in the barn so that when your father throws out the garbage at the end of the week, it'll be in the regular garbage can. Did you drain it? Did you at least dump it in the grass? And I'm like. I said, yeah, but I didn't. But, like, what does that mean? Is her father going to dig through the garbage can in the barn, find a white Glad bag, notice there's a liquid in it, open it up and smell that it's piss. And then call up Jackie and go, did your husband pick it? Get the. It's in the garbage can in the barn. Just give it a big fat rest. Jesus. I love my wife, but just overthinking everything. And we'll be talking about more shit like that in 2026. So strap in, get on board. Funniest podcast out there. Whether people realize it or not, you people do, and that's what matters. And we love you for it. Enjoy this. Best of fire it up. T0 all engine running. We have a lift off.

[A]

I Don't understand. Like, why are there French fries in my pool?

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

You know, like, how did that happen? This is.

[B]

You do not like that.

[A]

This is what you never want to hear at a party when you own a pool. Do you have a skimmer? What?

[B]

That's so funny, bro. And as you're going to get it, you like. Like, you. They think, like, you're just gonna say, yeah, it's behind the shed, hanging on the wall. Like, you're not gonna go, why? What'? You go to get it.

[A]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, it's. It's like, now I'm. If you ask me that now I'm going to be doing skimming work. Absolutely. For the next five minutes, right? So now I got something to do. It's not like you're going to go get the skimmer and just take whatever the hell. So. So I.

[B]

You hire a guy to do. Duck, Duck, Goose. Why don't you hire a guy to, like, be like, the pool guy, the lifeguard, the skimmer, everything for the next three hours. If a kid. You're the lifeguard.

[A]

I had a lifeguard.

[B]

Nice. Why isn't he skimming?

[A]

You're lucky he was. Amish lifeguard.

[B]

What?

[A]

The beard, no mustache, cut.

[B]

Yeah, I. Bro, I can't even eat hot dogs and hamburgers with the Amish beard, no mustache in my backyard. I can't even look at it.

[A]

It was like having a live scarecrow. It was like having a live scarecrow in my backyard.

[B]

Oh, I almost. I almost would want him to go in. I must be like Caruso fake drowning. I gotta see this. Amish being wet. What does that look like? Oh, how did he. So what do you mean, Amish? Like, how did he get there? Did he have a car? Does he have a car?

[A]

I don't know how he got there. I just. He showed up in my backyard. I asked the event planner, I go, is that the lifeguard? She goes, yeah. And I said, bro, he had a bandage on his big toe the size of a baseball. Like, it looked like whatever the hell it looked like sort of got. If it looked like whatever the hell he had on his toe was keeping the toe attached to the foot, right? So if some.

[B]

If somebody was drowning and that toe hit the pool, you'd have to get everybody out and drain the pool anyway, Right? I mean, chances are there's, like, you.

[A]

Know, disease in there.

[B]

This is gangrene. These guys fighting off gangrene. She probably found them on the shoulder of the 405 guy. He was homeless. She couldn't find anyone else to do it. Holy.

[A]

Oh, my God, bro. He was like. He.

[B]

I don't want to sound rude, but he sounds like kind of unappealing to have to have on the edge of the pool. If you're a kid.

[A]

Listen, nice kid, whatever, but this wasn't Baywatch, bro. This was. That sounds right. And then he's. He had. He had a backpack on him, right? So he. He had the. He had the big lifeguard buoy, right? Yeah, the pool. The pool is only four and a half feet. And it's like this guy's got a. This guy's. It's not like this guy's work in the Pacific Ocean. No, it's like.

[B]

But he's like, I'd assume you'd rather have me throw in the buoy to get this fucking toe wet.

[A]

So if I was a lifeguard and I had that, I would have to say, listen, I'm out of commission for three weeks. Why? I got a bandage on my toe. There's no way I could show up to a pool this way. But this guy's. I mean, this is like, you know, Come on. So anyway. Oh, God.

[B]

Oh, well, maybe he's like, listen, I'll knock off a couple dollars per hour because I don't jump in. I just.

[A]

I whistle and.

[B]

And tell you somebody's drowned. Red bathing suit, far corner. Red bathing suit, far corner. It's been under for 30 seconds.

[A]

You could put little cologne on. The baby doesn't have any alcohol or anything like that. It's like, it's good for their. You know, it doesn't damage their skin.

[B]

Kind of world do we live in where we think a baby doesn't smell good? Enough already.

[A]

I'm telling you, put this cologne on top of the smell of a baby. It was peaches. Oh, God. You know, when I used to cradle Seraphina, then I get an orchard of peaches. Oh, God, is that beautiful.

[B]

I do like the idea of cologne on a boy, though, because especially.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Stay in age, you get a boy 2, 3 years old, you put knock with the Geo on his face.

[A]

You.

[B]

You're reminding him you're a boy.

[A]

And you're not writing to cut that out. You're not writing to cut that out.

[B]

No, listen, I don't want to insult guys that clean gutters. I have no problem with what. Right there. I stand by it. Right there.

[A]

I stand by.

[B]

I mean, come on. Yeah.

[A]

No, the cologne on the boy is something I dare to say my Kid out of the whole school, kindergarten through sixth grade, is the only kid wearing cologne. Would that be a fair assessment?

[B]

You got the only kid who's next to a teacher and you smell Aqua de Gio and you go, it's not even the teacher. It's unbelievable. The teachers don't even wear cologne. And your boy is. Does. By the way, does musk still exist? I used to use that when I was in high school. Musk.

[A]

I never heard of it.

[B]

You never heard of musk?

[A]

No.

[B]

Surprise. You're a bit of a guru when it comes to the colognes.

[A]

We got it pulled up here. Let's see. Musk, that blue Chanel. I got the musk. What is that? That's not musk, is it?

[B]

Shared repeat here.

[A]

By the way, I can't believe the.

[B]

Boy goes to school with cologne. That's phenomenal.

[A]

And you know what? I'm a little upset about that. I haven't got a call from the teacher saying, hey, just want to thank you for sending your kid to school with cologne on. Because it's a joy.

[B]

I'm surprised it hasn't been mentioned yet. Really. I really agree with you right there. I don't, I don't, you know, does he, Is he at the point yet? Well, like, dad, you didn't hit me yet. Like, if you didn't put it on.

[A]

Would he be like, he's, he's very into it. I mean, he's not like shying me away. I go, get over here and then I give him a little thing and he's on his way. So he's not asking for the cologne, I'm just doing it, right?

[B]

Yeah, but I mean, this kid is like being set up, classy, like holding in the pain, keeping it to himself the best he can, wearing cologne.

[A]

But this again, I know it's my son and I'm gonna be biased because he's mine, but the things that he's doing are not normal. He's sitting, when he sits down, he crosses his legs. I don't see too many 5 year old crossing the legs. And he's doing it like a European. It's not where he's putting his heel on his thigh, he's putting a knee on top of a knee. So it's very sophisticated. He sits in the car, in the car. He sits in his car seat like this.

[B]

And I'm like, that's beautiful.

[A]

Where did you learn that? I go, where did you learn that? He goes, I saw you do it once and I did it. And it's comfortable. We're in Puglia at the pool at the hotel. Kids are at the kids club. My father in law went down and reserved four seats for his wife, my mother in law, myself and Lana. Four seats at the adult pool. Now when you reserve seats down there, it's not like we're white trashing it with like books and putting stuff down. You know, like how people do, they, they wake up at 6am and they go reserve seats with a shoe.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

The way, you know the seats are reserved at this hotel is that there are towels on the seats on the lounge chairs. If there's no towels, that means the seat is available. If there's towels, they're taken. My father in law put a bag there, just a little bag with suntan lotion and whatnot. I came down, I saw the seats that he had reserved. I laid down on one of the seats. So there's, the way it is is two seats, there's a space and another two seats. All right. I'm on my phone doing stuff on my phone. I had just got done working out, so I had my workout clothes and I had my, my sneakers on. And I'm just waiting for Lana to come there. I notice a couple setting up shop on our seats.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So I kind of glance over and I'm like, should I say anything? Nah. Because I felt like I, I didn't notice them in time to say, hey, those are my seats. They were kind of getting settled in. Okay. So I'm like, all right, maybe the guy is going to say something, the guy that reserved these seats. Because I know my father in law tips the guy. So the guy's on the lookout. Sure enough, guy comes over and tells this couple, couple who are in their 60s, I'd say. As I reserved, the seats are reserved. Well, there's nothing right away I'm, I'm angry with the guy's response to the Italian guy that works there. There should be something here designating that these seats are taken. This is ridiculous. I'm so sorry, sir, but the gentleman. I don't care what this is. We're getting settled in and now it's an inconvenience for us to get up and go look for. I'm like boiling. They're starting to walk past me, bitching, this is ridiculous. And the wife is going, honey, don't go over there to get the seats. Come back over here. We're going to get to see. As he's passing me, he knows they're my seats and he says this so I could hear. People should have some consideration for other people. That set me off, bro. I went white, I saw white. I took my shoe off and I threw it on the seats. I go, there, now they're saved. I go, you had. You happy now?

[B]

That's great. That's great, man. I love it. That is so American. Was he American?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, English. English, British. And he saw this and he goes, you should just have more consideration for other people. Right? And I didn't say anything. And the guy had the nerve, the nerve to sit behind me. Now we got this tension in the air, like he's sitting behind me.

[B]

I'm sorry, bro.

[A]

After you have somebody throw a shoe like that me, I'm getting as far away from this psychotic as I possibly can.

[B]

No shit. Not going to stare at the back of his head the rest of the day. Holy shit.

[A]

Look up. Who's running the Blue Grotto? Is that the island of Capri or is this mob affiliated? Because you got to pay a cover charge to get into the Grotto. Did you. Did you notice? How did you do it?

[B]

I remember getting on the gondola, paying the gondola guy, right? Because we also went to Isle of Capri for the day and they had the gondolas, I believe it was right there. And you pay. I don't remember how we pay, but we pay. And then you go in and you go around in a circle under there and they show it to you and you duck down when you go in and you come out. I don't remember a cover fee, but I believe it.

[A]

Okay, so you just pulled it up. The Blue Grotto is not run by a single entity. It's entrusted to a co op of boatmen. Can you believe this? So it would be. It would. This is essentially like the Statue of Liberty being taken over by just local guys going, $10 to get up. Right, right, right.

[B]

Not even that, because that's man made. We're talking Grand Canyon. You want to get a view of the Grand Canyon, there's an Italian guy in a fucking three piece suit going, 10 $55 for the kids.

[A]

That is a better analogy. That's like someone setting up shop at the. At the, at the. What do you call the faces of the President? No, that's not even. That's not. That's man made. I'm sorry.

[B]

Yeah, you're right. I didn't want to break it to you. I thought. You thought the rocks just looked like the gu. What a coincidence. Four in a row. So what's the COVID And is it in lira or is it in US Dollars here?

[A]

So here's the deal. The guy goes, there's a cover charge. I go, cover? I didn't know there was a cover. I go, where do you pay that over there, bro? They got a floating.

[B]

Register.

[A]

They got two guys in a boat, and you got to get up on. You gotta get up, give the guy your credit card. You know, I'm standing, giving the guy the credit card. He rings it through, I'm signing this in a book.

[B]

Come on, man. I can't believe they got a credit card machine floating outside the Blue Grotto. Holy shit. I got restaurants in town that don't even take credit card. Jesus. It's amazing how modern the technology can be in Italy when they need it to be, right?

[A]

I got no WI fi on my phone, but this guy's got fucking credit card capabilities.

[B]

And if there's a drop in the swap and the car lands in the water, who's responsible for going in to get it? You or the cash register guy? Jesus.

[A]

Oh, what.

[B]

What Was this charge?

[A]

18 ahead, kids are free.

[B]

18 ahead. Not just one boat charge.

[A]

No, you would think you got. No, it's. It's. It's per person. So 36 bucks, right? I was told $50 tip for the boatman, but if he sings, that's another chart again. Just give me the whole thing, man. I don't want to. Like, if he. If he paddles seven more times, you got to give him more, you know, Just give me the full fare. So we're going into the Blue Grotto. Now, for those of you that don't know, it's a very small opening, all right? And what they do is they have a cable in there, right, that goes from the outside into the grotto that the guy pulls. And if you're listening to this podcast and not watching it, basically it's like a pulley system where the guy pulls the boat under and he's got to wait till the tide goes down and then times it. So, because this guy, and this is another thing I love about Italy, no liability form, nothing, right? He goes, okay, we're going to go in. Duck your head or you'll be decapitated. Decapitated. This. So. So you hear? You hear decapitated, bro. I was on the. I was on the bottom of the boat.

[B]

It's crazy. Has anyone ever gotten trapped in there? The tide came up when you're in there, and now you're stuck in there.

[A]

That's what I was thinking. As soon as I got in, I was looking around, I go, if this thing fucking decides to go up, you know, we're not, you know, we're done. So we're going around, right? This, this, you know, whatever he's saying, then all of a sudden he goes, he's, Oh, now there's about 15 boats in there, right? Each guy is singing a different song. So one guy my way. Hey, if you're gonna charge 50, get everybody on the same song, all right?

[B]

Get a nice harmony going.

[A]

There's 13 songs bouncing off the wall.

[B]

And you don't even need your guy. I got 10 other guys singing. I'll save the tip money and don't sing, right? And you'll have, once you start singing to it, you're like, well, there's another 20.

[A]

Yeah, that's it. That's another. That's another fee.

[B]

Happy New Year from the Pete and Sebastian Show. Thank you all for being such loyal viewers and listeners. This is Casey Kasem. And now back to the countdown. Thanks to Factor for sponsoring this episode. Guys, we keep telling you, and we're going to keep telling you, one good healthy food, always fresh, never frozen, and ready in about two whole minutes. Seriously, this ad read might take longer than it would for you to get in your kitchen and make a Factor meal. New year, big goals. No time to cook. Factor makes it easy with fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs so you can eat well without shopping or cooking. Baby, come on. Quality, functional ingredients, including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients and healthy fats. No refined sugars, no artificial sweeteners, no refined seed oils. No shit in there that you can't spell or pronounce. These are meals that fit your goals and schedule. Healthier eating, calorie management, more protein. Some of my favorites have been roasted garlic chicken was fantastic. Truffle butter, filet mignon. I mean, the options are endless and delicious. They have over 100 rotating weekly meals. Over 100. And if you can't find something you like with that much variety, then I'm not sure what to say. Maybe just go chew on some tree bark. I can't help you. But if good meals packed with protein, good for you. Fats factor is where you need to go. So head over to factor meals.com thecast50 off. That's all one thing. The cast50 off and use code thecast50OFF to get 50% off your first factor box. Plus free breakfast for one year. You heard that right. Free breakfast for one year. Offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Make healthy eating easy with Facta.

[A]

This is pro linebacker TJ Watt and I'm back with YPB by Abercrombie for another activewear drop. My second co design collection has new shorts and tanks that keep up with all my in season workouts. And their new restore collection is a game changer off the field too, because even pro athletes like me need rest days. Shop YPB by Abercrombie in the app online and in stores because your personal best is greater than anything. We leave and my son and daughter, before we leave, are looking at Jesus, right? They're just like looking at, they're looking at this guy and they get in the car. Now, I wasn't prepared for this. They're like, who's that guy on the wood? Because there's been really no mention of Jesus Christ other than when Daddy gets mad, right?

[B]

Not even. No one's asking when it comes up in A Christmas Carol, all three kings comes on. No one's asking who the kings are or nothing.

[A]

Bethlehem, there's none of that shit here anyway. If it ain't, if it ain't in the Frosty, the Snowman or the Grinch, they're not hearing Jesus. So I said, that's Jesus Christ. And they're like, oh, that's, that's. That's who you. The only third they heard Jesus Christ was when I go, Jesus Christ.

[B]

What the.

[A]

That's it. That's the only, that's their only exposure to him when Daddy gets mad. So they're like, oh, is that the guy that you talk about when you get mad? They go, yeah, that's the guy. They're like, why, why is he up on the wood? And why does he have diamonds in his feet? They. They thought.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

My. My son goes, why did, why did someone throw diamonds at him? They thought that the nails were diamonds, but someone threw it. Yeah. I go, no, those were, those were nails. And again, like, for a kid to process that there's a man with nails on boards. They can't. They can't. They go, why did, why did that happen? Now I got to explain this, bro. This is how I explained it. And I got to go, how the hell to deal with this. This is my explanation of why Jesus is up on the, on the cross, right? I said, nah, he was doing magic around town. And people didn't like, so. So they, they nailed him to the cross. They're like, what? I go, yeah, no, bro, what is that? What do you mean, what is that? How would you explain it? How would you explain why is he up there?

[B]

You just made it sound like Jesus is on the cross. Because it was a rough crowd and he was having a bad set. He had a bad set and they nailed him up there and. Well, I don't know, it's interesting because you're dealing with such a blank slate, I have to pretend I'm dealing with a completely blank slate.

[A]

They don't know anything. They don't know anything. My kid's five. They don't know nothing. Why is that guy up there to a 5 year old? What do you say?

[B]

Well, if you say because he was spreading a religion that people didn't believe, they'd already go, what's religion? Right.

[A]

Yeah, what's that? He died for our sins. What does that mean? I mean, he was doing magic.

[B]

Do you know if someone heard that, an adult heard your child not know who Jesus was in Texas? You might. I think you're getting arrested for that. That's like a form of child abuse.

[A]

Here's the thing that's bothering me with my mother in law and I have to mention this, and I think I might have mentioned it on the table text. She texts strictly with emojis.

[B]

Strictly. How do you even interpret that? You know how to. Like you can get a whole message via emoji and know what she's saying.

[A]

Oh, the emojis says, the emoji says thank you. Super. You know, like one of these, like. Oh yeah, you send a photo of the kids. Cute, with a heart, you know, hey, you want to, you want to give me a little bit more?

[B]

That's a time saver though, on her end, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, instead of having the right. Oh, they look so cute. Is that a new blouse? Just emoji clouds. Cute. Boom.

[A]

Done saying right. I don't know.

[B]

You're seeing through that, right?

[A]

I'm seeing right through it. I gotta tell her. I go, you gotta give a little bit more when you text. I can't with the images, you know, it's like there's no meaning behind it, you know what I'm saying? Wow.

[B]

Yeah, but you know, people that are organized, like your mother in law, how you're saying that's so fantastic. And even I was asking about the texting because, like a wat, for example, something like this, I'm trying to get better at it. People that text you right back, they got nothing on the agenda. They get it. It's like, get it out of the way. What do you want? Boom. What do you want?

[A]

Boom.

[B]

You know, I like, sit on it. And then like two days later, I'm like, ah, I forgot to text him back. And then I'll go, oh, One day, he's probably mad thinking I'm someone who doesn't text back, but I'm gonna. And I'm like, holy shit, Just text them back. I'm sitting here talking about in my head texting. So I'm trying to boom right back, you know?

[A]

You know what? Here's the thing. I got with texting right back. And I've been guilty of this too, because sometimes a text will come in and boom, shoot it right back. But when I get a text right back, you know what I think? I go, you got nothing to do. I knew.

[B]

I knew you'd say that. It looks like especially, especially if someone like, I've done this, where I've text you, you text me back two days later. And when you're texting me back, the timing just works where I can answer it. I'm like, oh, God. He probably thinks I've been waiting two days on the edge of my bed. So I walk away. I got to do a 45 minute cool down. So you don't think that I'm a loser. Jesus, I can't stand this world, bro. And Watt don't live like that, see, because he was born into it, man. He was born with the phone. So he just, he just hits you back. He don't care. Voom, voom. It's done, you know?

[A]

Yeah. But it's amazing to me sometimes how people. Here's another one. I recently met someone who's a long emailer.

[B]

So I could be accused of that.

[A]

Sometimes I feel like, man, I really got to put some effort in to email him back. And I can't meet his level of words as far as the word count. But I feel like I gotta give him more than I normally would give an email. Because this guy, this guy does it's so long, it's in paragraphs. Like, there's a new subject pages. Do you ever get an email that's like four paragraphs? Like, gee, this guy's hitting a lot of topics.

[B]

And you'll probably find yourself responding to each paragraph with one answer. Yes, she's still in school, vacation is over. Tour, no tour soon, right? You're like, gosh, like when you're only answering what they're asking. That's weird too, right? It's like, shouldn't I have to. I should be asking something now too.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. I have to feel like I have to go into. Oh, vacation was great. I really enjoyed the hotel. They had amazing food and you know, we went on a boat, we did this. With that, I feel like I gotta get into it rather than vacation was great, good to be home. No, I gotta agree. I gotta put a, I gotta put a four or five sentence rant together.

[B]

So what's your take on then? If he gives you a thousand word email, what's the 500 word email he gives you? What can you give back?

[A]

Minimum 250, half too thick.

[B]

Wow, bro, I don't. Who's got that kind of time, man?

[A]

Something I'm going to show you. Just pull it up here. What's your take on this? This is how bad air travel's getting. What you, what you take on standing seats?

[B]

Oh, is that what that is?

[A]

Yeah, you stand the whole ride. Wow.

[B]

Well, I can't stand that long. Can you? What happens if you want to sit? Can you take a knee? That's crazy. But that's like, but is that like. Can you fill me in? This is fascinating. Is this like way just getting low.

[A]

Cost, low cost airlines, it's like, it's like taking a greyhound in the sky, right? You don't buy a seat, you buy a board for your back.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I mean and you strap yourself in. I don't know if you could hang there. I don't know what the deal is. But how bad are the airlines getting now? Right? Yeah. If you could pull up and I think we've done this before, pull up some flight travel from the 50s and the 60s, first class, some something where, you know.

[B]

Like first class in the 60s. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Whatever it was, it was, it used to be to fly was like to do. We're gonna go on an airplane, get ready, dress up, flying across the country, right?

[B]

I flew once, once as in my childhood to Disney World and then I didn't fly again until I was 19 years old.

[A]

Yeah, flying was one of those things that was just like a unicorn. You didn't see it too many times, right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Now it's like there, I give you an example. He's gonna look at this. Even the kids, even the kids in the 50s. And the dress, this looks like it's civilized, right? Look at the kids in the front row.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Dressed up. Everybody's got a suit on. The flight attendant see, they helping the kid with this, maybe even reading her a story on the Plane. Jesus Christ. When's the last time you've seen that? A flight attendant who was at all helpful is.

[B]

That guy in the back. Does he work for. With the. He's got a bow tie on. Is he a flight attendant?

[A]

No, he's just sitting. He's just sitting at 16 a.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And the flight attendant here is helping someone with their bag. Beautiful. Right. Now, how did we go from this to this? What happened? What happened?

[B]

What a mess.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It's crazy, you know, when I fly now, how crazy is this? I know you know this, too. My daughter doesn't even. Like, she doesn't even look out the window. Like that's how much she's flown that she doesn't even look. What?

[A]

Yeah. Kids used to be glued to the window. Oh, what's up? Look at the cloud formations. Look at that. Do you ever see another airplane while you're flying and see how fast it's going? That's something to see. Yeah. If you haven't seen that, take a look out the window and see. I feel like you can't even open a window now on an airplane without getting somebody turning their head going, what are you doing? I've been guilty of this, too.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

Everybody's. It's all dark on the airplane. And then you get that one guy who decides he wants to look out, and then you get like a beam of sunlight coming through the thing, right? Yeah. And everybody's like, oh, guy, we didn't land yet. Shut that shit.

[B]

But I. I love it. I'm like, let it eat. And you ever see when someone does that? You can always see a handful of people go, I just dying to see a fucking cloud, you know? And the guy closes it like, relax, you crackheads.

[A]

Relax.

[B]

Most no sunny for you.

[A]

I seem to be talking and nobody could hear what I'm saying to my wife. Wherever we're at, do you feel the same way?

[B]

Yes. Sometimes Jackie thinks I get a little loud. She'll tell me to lower it. But more hyper aware. Yeah, we're aware.

[A]

We're aware. So I have a voice for certain scenarios. I have an airplane voice. I have a restaurant voice. I have a watching my kid play soccer voice. It just adapts to the situation I'm in.

[B]

That's a good way. Yeah. Got your church? I got a church voice. Very respectful. There's no cursing. It's a light whisper with no cursing.

[A]

Do you think your whisper is better than your wife's whisper? If you had to rate whispers, do you think you whisper better or Worse than your wife?

[B]

I whisper better than most people because it's almost like. What's the word? A conundrum or an opposite. But I whisper loud and clear, like a loud whisper, which is. You know what I'm saying? Like, the Nazis still couldn't hear us if we were hiding. But you would clearly fucking. You wouldn't go, what?

[A]

What?

[B]

There's no what back.

[A]

No. No what?

[B]

Whisper back when I whisper.

[A]

Okay, now.

[B]

Yeah. How about you? You probably have a loud whisper.

[A]

No, like you. I have a whisper that the person could hear but nobody else could hear. Right, Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My wife, she whispers, but nothing comes out of her mouth. She goes.

[B]

What the.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

That's. That's. That's a level of whisper. That's like the mime whisper. It's. It's. It's. It's a form. And you. You know, you should be able to pick up some of it. You should. And you probably do, right? But because you have some tendency to do that, too.

[A]

No, I don't do it on the cast.

[B]

Like, you'll. You'll do a fade on something. You go. And then he walks.

[A]

But I hear that. I hear what you just said. My wife starts to do almost like a lip read, and I see it coming, and I get angry when she. So she'll be next to me and she'll go. And I go, stop. I can't. Like, I shut it down right away.

[B]

Right?

[A]

I shut the shit down.

[B]

Oh, that's great. You like.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

I'm not even playing charades with you right now.

[A]

I feel like we've reached a level now where you could. And I tell her, your whisper sucks. You got to work on your whisper. It's not good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then when she starts to whisper, it tends to get loud. It's just not the right pitch anyway.

[B]

There's no in between.

[A]

No. We had a little speed bump, Lana and I, about these dogs. She was spearheading the dog number one number two. She wanted dog number two because she thought dog number one was lonely. So now we got two. And I said, listen, I never wanted this. Handle it, Handle it. Because I felt like we have this dog trainer come in. My wife grew up in this environment where they like to hire people. They like to take on responsibility, but then they like to delegate the responsibility to others.

[B]

Right?

[A]

That ain't my style.

[B]

That's a kaching. Kaching. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You want to learn to play baseball? We're gonna get Aaron Judge here, throw you a couple of little Batting practice. I mean, that's a way of showing it. I get it. I love it.

[A]

Yeah. But. So they got the dog trainer come in and training the dog. I said, well, what good is that if you ain't with the trainer? Because, what, he leaves. And now you're sitting there going, come here. And it's like, it ain't working because you didn't listen to the guy, right?

[B]

It's a great bit, bro. Guy leaves, you, dog's looking at you like you think that carries over.

[A]

So I'm not into the. Again, I was in and out of town with the travel, the touring, this, that, and the other thing. But now that I'm home, I'm starting to see some holes in the dog department. And listen, I'm sorry, but I'm not a dog. I'm not that guy.

[B]

Seems like you were coming around again.

[A]

A little bit, like this puppy thing, you know, Like, I ain't into it. Like, I can't get over. I throw the ball to the dog. Oh, this is what I started doing. I noticed when I take the dogs out together in the backyard and I want to play with them, they run back. They don't stay out there with me. But when I take one out at a time and I do the ball, that one dog goes and gets the ball and brings it back. By the way, I don't understand this, and I don't know if you've done this with your dog, but I'll throw the ball. They go get it, they bring it back, but they want to hang on to the ball. They don't drop it for the next run. So I'm sitting here frustrated, going, guy, don't you see how this works? I got to rip it away from you. But then you're excited that I got it and there's going to be a throw. Why aren't we just dropping it at my feet?

[B]

It's not as fun, I guess, right? Then my dog will do that, of course. And then I'll be like, come, drop it. Drop it. But again, it's 7:15 in the morning. I don't. I don't want to say this shit. I don't. The fuck am I right? Drop it.

[A]

Drop.

[B]

I don't care if you drop it, I'll throw it. If you don't drop it, I ain't fucking moving.

[A]

That's what I do.

[B]

Hey. Hey, come back, dog. The Pope is also a White Sox fan. That's your team.

[A]

I'm glad you brought this up, because I had a meeting yesterday Again, I pulled a Pete in the meeting. I don't know what's going on with me, bro. I think at this age, I just got no. No tolerance anymore. So it was a meeting where I have a special coming out, right? And it was a marketing meeting, and it was the whole marketing team and everybody on the other side of the zoom. And there's like, you know, when you go to Netflix, you go to Amazon, you go to any of these places, they have, like, a banner, like, of the TV show and then slides to the next banner. So my question was, am I going to be on the banner? Oh, yeah, you're going to be. I go, they weren't getting what I was talking about, so I pulled it up. I go, see this, and it was a picture of the Pope. I go, I want to be on where the Pope is when my special comes out, right?

[B]

By the way, the Pope, I think.

[A]

It was a couple days ago. Pull this up. Pope was out doing his wave, right? And I think this is the Chicago in them, because I haven't seen this type of vehicle yet. We were talking about Popemobiles. This guy said, the hell with the glass case. And for, you know, normally he has a cone or something over him. Look this up on the Popemobile. Recently, he came out with the Mercedes, and he was a Mercedes G wagon with the top cut off. But it was like, no security. Like, there's nothing. You know, it was almost like, come on, right? It was. It was. It was nice. It was nice to see that Pope going, oh, here it is. Here it is. Oh, look at this.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

This is a slick look, bro. White on white, right? White on white. No dome, no nothing. Look at this. The Pope is from Chicago. I'm from Chicago. I want to do a tasting with the Pope through our hometown. This is how I want to do the tasting in Chicago.

[B]

Pretty fast.

[A]

Yeah. Me and him in this thing.

[B]

And.

[A]

We go to Portillo's. What do you think?

[B]

Here's my big fear. I'm afraid Stanley Tucci, who is probably not even from Chicago, is going to slide in and do his whole, you know, I did conclave. I'm so connected. It's like I'm practically a priest and, you know, nah. But I think the Pope's brothers will be like, come on, you didn't see his specials. Remember when I was doing the bit and we were all laughing? That was him. When I was doing the. Well, I was in the kitchen, and I'm doing the orange.

[A]

I don't know, man.

[B]

If it was a Year ago. And you said, there's a priest named Father Bob out of Chicago I want to go to a game with and I want to eat pizza with a phone call. That happens. So now all of a sudden he wins a vote and it's as if this is a mythical God that floated down from heaven and is now the Pope. It was Bob. It was Bob a year ago. And this was very doable.

[A]

Father Bob, he was doing the confessionals on a Saturday, talking to everyday people. And now all of a sudden he's in a Mercedes in St. Peter's Square.

[B]

That's it. I'm telling you, man, there's a good chance. Father Bob used to do your bits jokingly, because from Chicago you're clean. You're a legend in Chicago.

[A]

And you white soccer graphic installation honoring Pope. Yeah. And his World Series at the World Series. Man, he was at the World Series when the Chicago went, come on. So this guy was like living a daily life. He was at the World Series. God. He's been to Portillo's.

[B]

I'm telling you. Who's to say if he spent it at White Sox game? He's eating at Portillo's. There's a good chance he's heard you. Stand up, bro. Maybe he's even been to a show.

[A]

Bro.

[B]

This should be a class in college or high school. What you're saying right now, how to navigate Google. Yeah, because. Because I don't know that you're right. I do a lot of what you're saying too. I assume the number one at the top is the number one. But if you Google and I'm not saying doing this like comedian. I don't know, the first one that came up might not be one I like. Or if you Google Rockstar. Don't do that, don't do that, don't do that, don't do. I don't even want to do that.

[A]

But put comedian on up there. I want to see what comes up. Just put, put up, stand up comedian and I want to see maybe image. Okay, okay, okay. Well, no, no, no, go back. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay. So the first one that comes up is Bill Burr. But there's many says comedians stand up. They got Mulaney Silverman.

[B]

Are they in alphabetical order? Maybe B.B.

[A]

No, I mean, great comedian.

[B]

I'm just saying.

[A]

Craig Warren, Brian Posen, Mike Burton. Go down, go down. Brian Regan, Bo Burnham, George Carlin, Tony Baker. Guy. Guy. Yeah, Guy. We're not. We're not even in this. We're not. Giamarco. Sorci is.

[B]

What about you? You there now? No, not yet.

[A]

Well, no, I'm not, We're not, we're not listening.

[B]

And you, and you, and you go. So like if you're an alien and you came down here and you go, we need to meet the comedian. You go, da, da, da. Bill Burr. We go see Bill Burr because he comes up first. So according to your theory, the aliens will never come visit you or me? Because nobody does a deep dive into Google, bro.

[A]

I think we're being, we're being shadow banned from Patrick. He put in top stand up comedian, comedians and nowhere to be found.

[B]

All right, let's say the alien types this Patrick, half Italian, half Irish, great comedian, underrated. Should be more famous. Should be famous.

[A]

Half Italian, half Irish comedian. Let's see.

[B]

Well, from oakdale. Oakdale, new york.

[A]

Pepper drone.

[B]

Back room, top bunk.

[A]

Doesn't it doesn't. You don't, you don't come up at all.

[B]

Dude, I'm hot on. Duck, duck, go on. Duck, duck, go. I'm like this, I'm huge on that search engine.

[A]

Duck, duck, go.

[B]

Fucking snorting.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

I'm only kidding, bro. Okay, so how about Chicago comedian? It's gotta be you.

[A]

I'm actually up on this, on the Italian Irish. I come up Matteo Lane comes up.

[B]

There you go. If you put Italian comedian, you'll be number one, I bet, which is huge.

[A]

Is it?

[B]

Well, I mean, you're the one that like, you know, has this. I disagree with that. Google. See, I disagree with just going off the first bar. There you go, bro. See, you're all over it.

[A]

Okay, there you go. I saw you in the, the monster truck when they put you in the monster truck. And then you were, you were riding around, bro. You look like you were going to, you look so comfortable in it. I, I, if I was in a monster truck, I would be like pressing on the gas a little bit. As soon as you got in it, it looked like you were, you were off to the races. Are you like a thrill seeker? Are you the type of guy that likes to do these like. No, I'm gonna jump out of a plane and I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. Where does that come from?

[D]

I think just, you know, growing up, I mean, I grew up in the trailer park, so we didn't have much to do. I had a, I had a, you know, a Huffy bicycle. And I just remember we would be like, we'd have big hills and we got tired of coming down the hills and just Riding down. So we would make jumps. Somebody come down. Then the jumps just kept getting bigger and bigger. And then we kept growing older. So the thrills had to keep getting bigger. And once I ended up being able to get cars, I've been going to tracks, you know, just driving, like, just racing. And then, you know, whenever I was in about 19 to 20, is when I fell in love with, like, street racing. Oh, I'm not saying that that's cool or anything. That's what I fell in love with. I've had the thrill.

[B]

Listen, I know we're not ending the show yet, but I'm gonna give you a little early parting gift. I'm already seeing the country song. The hills kept growing, right until you met your wife. And she said, this is the last hill. There's no more hills to jump. You see what I'm saying, bro?

[C]

It's right there.

[B]

The metaphor.

[A]

That's what I.

[B]

My daughter's 12. She loves country, right? So it's constantly. Alexa play country. And that's when I first came across you. Because the one she likes, she plays over and over. And you're a backseat driver. It's a great song, Sebastian, about your daughter looking out the backseat. And it's funny because in country, so many times, it's like, I love it. And I'm getting more and more into it. My daughter plays My problem is, at my age, it makes me cry a lot. Cause I think about my family. It's all so patriotic and great and moving, but, like, there's gotta be another side to you. Like, do you always feel like you gotta lean to that side? Cause, like, in that song. Here's my example. It's a great song about his daughter looking out the window and asking questions that Cain, as a father, can't answer because she just keeps firing off another question before he's answering the last one. And like, at one point, one question is, why do you keep pressing your foot on that pedal with the car? And you're such a beautiful sword. But as a dad, I'm listening to that and thinking myself, I go, what do you think's happening? What do you think's happening when I touch it? What seems to happen whenever daddy? The car goes. Yeah, the car, stop. I'd be yelling in the rear view. Stop asking questions you know the answer to. But you make a beautiful song out of it. Make me feel like a piece of. But you must have that thought too, right? Where's the song about my kid won't shut up in the back, you know What I'm saying, why do country singers always gotta go to the beautiful, beautiful part? The teary eyes making grown men cry at red lights came.

[D]

Yeah, I don't know.

[A]

Maybe.

[D]

I mean. Okay, I'm gonna tell Brad Paisley that. I'm gonna tell Brad Paisley. He's the comedian when it comes to that stuff.

[B]

If you're gonna tell Paisley anything for me. Tell him. He's. He's wearing his jeans a size too small. But never, you know, I. I ain't his publicist. That's for him to decide. What if.

[A]

I got asked and I turned it down? Bear Grylls.

[B]

G R Y L. Oh, my God. Bear Grillas.

[A]

Yeah, bro.

[B]

He's been doing that for years. He used to do a survival show that I couldn't get enough of, man. I don't know. Is that what.

[A]

So. So he takes people and you face your fear. So he'll take you to the top of the mountain in New Zealand, and then you gotta hike seven miles to get to the extraction point, right? And then you get dropped off in a helicopter coming down a. I saw the trailer and I go, this would be nice to do, right? But yeah, I ain't hike. Like, they took Gina Carano across the mountain. It was snowing, whatever. And he goes, this is where an avalanche could possibly happen. And then you see the rocks falling as she's crossing. Now my question to you is, is that really where an avalanche might happen, or is it a place where there's just loose rock? What do you think?

[B]

Like, right. It's dangerous. It can't be that dangerous, bro. I mean, you know, you've made reality. Remember I did the pilot reality show here. It was like. It was so fake. It was like, we're gonna empty the place out and you're gonna walk in and complain that it's always empty. What the fuck? So, you know, something like this, it's like we're gonna spit a little rock there. We'll pretend that this is where the avalanches normally happen. And they. You could have put Gina in harm's way. Really?

[A]

Well, that's. Well, that's what I'm saying. I think my luck is. This is my luck. I'm gonna go across the thing. And the pre production, they said, yeah, this is a good spot to cross. There's some loose rocks every now and again, but this is safe, right? Then I go, right? And the biggest avalanche is ignited, and it washes me away. And the production team's like, holy shit.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

We've never seen this before, this was not supposed to happen. You know, one of these things not supposed to happen. That's me, right, Right.

[B]

Bear Gryllis.

[A]

Canceled due to death of comedian.

[B]

And you know the timeline, right? Two weeks. We won't even be talking about you by the third week anymore.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But, wow, that's amazing that they asked you. But your biggest fear, correct me if I'm wrong, it's not hiking seven miles. It's. It's being like, I would put you in a cave with a hole that is so tight, you got a shimmy through like this and then all of a sudden it doesn't go any further. But you can't go back now until everybody else goes back. So now you're stuck like this for three hours. You know, you're calling out bear gorillas, and he's like, stay there. You have this. You have this. Like, that's your fear. Hiking seven miles. That's just the hassle.

[A]

No hiking seven miles. Sciatica could have act up again. I didn't like the helicopter. Every episode I saw is a helicopter involved. I ain't into that shit either, right? They're gonna. They're gonna drop me in the helicopter. I don't like where they go. Helicopter can't get there, but. So we're gonna have to pull you in. That means if the helicopter dips a little bit, that's it. That's it. Forget it. That's it.

[B]

And you know, I don't know. And you know, helicopter people don't. When helicopter crashes, people aren't as surprised as when a plane does, right? You're like, ah, it happens. The blades get caught, right?

[A]

I don't know how. It doesn't happen often.

[B]

I don't know, bro. It happens a lot. Like once a week. Seems like once a week someone's getting a tour, falling into a river somewhere. I mean, I don't sound rude about it, but it's like, you know, doesn't seem the best mode of transport, I'll tell you that. By the way, if you're married to Tom Cruise or you're dating him, it's like, do I have to take a fucking helicopter to dinner everywhere? I mean, Jesus Christ, it's not a car. The guy lives in a helicopter. Why does everything have to start with, I don't know if you did this or not, Sebastian. I don't want to offend you, and I'm asking you if you have before I mention that I. Oh, my God. So if I, like, try, like.

[A]

I.

[B]

Don'T want to get into it right now. But this thing called blister water that's hitting the market, Do I have to assume. Do I have to ask you, did you try yet? Or can I just go up and use in blister water? It's unbelievable. Like, it seems like everything has to start with that.

[A]

I would think if you're talking to somebody and you're unaware of if they ever use the product or not, you would start by saying blister water. You ever hear of it? No. And then you go into it. You don't go, I've been using this thing called blister water. And then I. All of a sudden I have to go, oh, I use that too. And then you go, what are you trying to one up me?

[B]

I got my. I hate it. It's a vibe, though. It's a vibe personality.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Have you personally stuff, by the way, have you heard of this stuff? I haven't tried it, but apparently, you know when, like, you get a blister and like, if.

[A]

Okay, this is. This is a perfect. This is a perfect example. This is how the conversations start. Have you tried it? No. Okay, apparently. And then I'm like, oh, okay, now I'm learning something. All right.

[B]

I haven't tried it either, honestly, but I haven't even seen it. But that water, it's like a saline, salty. When you have a blister and it pops in there, they collected it. Somehow, this company put it through a process, and you drink it, not a full amount. Like, you just need, like, a capful. And apparently you literally do not age. And this is all the rage. I don't know who's supplying the blisters, where they get in the water, But.

[A]

I mean, wait a minute. You got a blister and the past that comes out of your blister, they're saying it's a water.

[B]

It's a water. It's like a saline. It's a salty water.

[A]

So they bottled that, and you're drinking people's blister water?

[B]

Yes. I mean, well, it's also put through a process. And now I think they're trying to figure out a way to make that same liquid, the same ingredients that make that blister up. Yeah, and it's supposed to literally stop aging.

[A]

Okay. No, you should not drink fluid from a blister. The fluid inside a blister, also known as serum, is a natural part of the healing process. Helps protect underlying skin produced by the body. Here's why you shouldn't drink it. So that.

[B]

Why should you drink it.

[A]

Cleaning it. If the blisters pain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll see if I can find that problem. Yeah. Find the blister water.

[B]

He won't find it. He won't find it. He won't find it.

[A]

Why? What do you mean he won't find it? What you know of it and that Google doesn't.

[B]

I made it up. I was dangling. I was trying to fish. I told Jackie about this. She thought it was a great idea. I was doing. I was doing some yard work the other day, and I had a big blister. I was telling Jack the other day.

[A]

Last night.

[B]

I was telling last night, and I bit it. It was a big bubble and I bit it, you know, and it was like, salty. Right? Hold on, let me finish this. You're gonna laugh at. Right? So at night, I go to Jack, I had a blister, you know, when you bite it? And I go, it's like. Was it, like, salty? She's like, yeah, it's like saline, like flavor. It's like salt. I said, I was thinking about telling Sebastian there's a product called blister water and it's made up of blisters, just to see if he'd, like, get it. And she goes, that's funny. You should do that. But you know what I bet he's gonna say? And I go, what? He's gonna say, you bite your blisters and send. You know what I'm talking about with that. That feel, that liquid.

[A]

If there's a blister.

[B]

Oh, with the teeth. Oh, God.

[A]

What's the. Damn it, man. Oh, no. A blister. You. Yeah, that's like. It's like an. That's like an animal.

[B]

Then when you pop it, the extra skin, it's almost like when you get liposuction, because when you're fat but your skin is still stretched, when you pop a blister, you just got that, like, top skin that just. Do you do a peel and let that whole thing air out or do you just.

[A]

I let.

[B]

I. I let it cover and just slowly fall off on its own throughout the day.

[A]

Oh, God, bro, It's terrible. No, but you had. You had us with the blister water over there.

[B]

I did, Yeah. I could see you after the show going, lid. You ever hear this Blister water? All right, guys, guys. There you go. That was the best of mid year 2025. Pete and Sebastian. Thanks for listening to that and thanks for listening to all the episodes. Don't forget, if you want more, just go to the Pete and Sebastian Patreon Channel. Five bucks a month extra episode, loose ends and so much more. But thank you for listening and we'll see you in 26. Let's do.

[A]

Long time to come.

[C]

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