697: The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 697 - Abandoned Boots

Summary

The Pete and Sebastian Show - EP 697: "Abandoned Boots" (March 10, 2026)
A Podcast by Studio71 | Featuring Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Pete and Sebastian catch up after a couple of weeks apart, diving into a series of hilarious travel misadventures, stories from the road, musings about modern social customs, and their perennial reflections on parenting, old-school Italian values, and club culture. True to form, the episode mixes personal anecdotes, playful ribbing, insightful banter, and quick-fire jokes that only two longtime comedy friends can deliver.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pete’s "Abandoned Boots" Saga

[03:49–10:33]

• Boot Mishap: Pete shares a wild travel story about buying new boots at the Detroit airport (after failing to find what he liked at home) and ditching his old, battered pair at the gate.
  • Quote: "So I took out the ones that were in the travel shopping bag...put them on...put [my old boots] back in the box and I just slide them to the side." (07:25, Pete)
• Sebastian’s Concern: Sebastian freaks out about the security risk of leaving a “random box with shoes in it at an airport gate.”
  • Quote: “Unidentified unattended box of shoes at the gate. Might as well be a bomb.” (10:12, Sebastian)
• Pete’s Rationale: Pete tries to justify his move but realizes it was probably not the smoothest play.
• Travel Fashion Philosophy: Pete and Sebastian riff on how great boots command the right outfit and how airport travel can be fashionably absurd.
  • Sebastian’s critique: “Once you have a cool boot on, you got to have an overcoat on.” (08:17)

2. Hotel Roulette & Road Life

[10:50–16:49]

• No Reservations: Pete admits he flies into new cities for shows without booking a hotel in advance, preferring the excitement of booking last-minute. Sebastian is baffled.
  • Quote: "I've never heard of anybody just sitting down at the airport going, all right, let's see. Where am I going to stay tonight?" (14:42, Sebastian)
• Rental Car vs. Uber: The comics discuss logistics of renting cars, the perceived showbiz of how you arrive at gigs, and the difference in crew vs. solo travel vibes.

3. The Nature of the Show’s Laugh

[18:40–21:14]

• Patrick’s Laugh: Sebastian observes how Patrick’s laugh (Patrick is their producer/engineer) has become a unique part of the show’s identity. They playfully debate the ethics of a signature laugh used across different podcasts.
  • Quote (Sebastian): “Is he doing this laugh with Whitney Cummings?...Should he tweak the laugh for each show?” (18:41)
  • Quote (Pete): "If I had a band and the guy was my bassist and he was a bassist in another band, he wouldn't be in my band much longer." (19:50, Pete, joking)

4. Grandparent’s Day & The “Grandfriend” Conundrum

[23:25–31:00]

• Cultural Shifts: The guys debate the modern practice of including “grandfriends”—stand-in grandparents or older friends—for school Grandparent’s Day events, poking fun at inclusivity gone wild.
  • Quote: “My grandfather died in World War II and my grandmother died in a fire, whatever the fuck it is...now, all of a sudden, Grandparent’s Day becomes grand friends.” (29:00, Sebastian)
• Old-School Outlook: Both express skepticism about sugarcoating life’s realities for kids, questioning why every child needs to be included in every event.

5. Parenting Riffs: Pickups, Clothing Fights, and Manipulative Texts

[31:39–34:46]

• “Lucky Anyone Picks You Up”: Pete lays down the law with his daughter Sadie after she complains about being picked up late.
  • Quote: "You're lucky anyone picks you up at any of this shit ever, you know?" (33:20, Pete)
• Parenting Dynamics: Side chats between Pete and his wife Jackie over how to handle their daughter's demands and clothing disputes.

6. College Memories: Roommates, “Nudists,” and Italian Traditions

[36:48–46:57]

• Sebastian’s Naked Roommate: Sebastian recounts his freshman year with a nudist roommate — an experience that ended with the roommate moving out, leaving Sebastian with the room to himself.
  • Quote (Sebastian): "Shouldn't the, hey, I am a nudist pop up on that call? What do I gotta find out the first morning with a dick in my face." (38:01)
• Italian Parental Rules: Discussion on strict Italian traditions about who can visit the family home, especially concerning daughters’ boyfriends.
  • Quote: “My father believed, you do not bring anybody into this home...unless you’re getting married.” (44:46, Sebastian)

7. Clubbing in 2026 with Steve Aoki

[53:29–62:29]

• Dance Track Launch: Sebastian shares his experience launching a comedic dance song, “Does Your Father Know You Dance Like That?” with Steve Aoki in a Las Vegas club.
  • Quote: “14 guys sharing one bottle of Grey Goose. That’s kind of the gist of the song.” (54:01, Sebastian)
• Club Scene Observations: Detailed descriptions of nightclub backstage chaos, second-hand “drug” panic over a bag of earplugs, and the generational disconnect with modern club behavior.
  • Quote: “On the phone, they write the song and they hold it up like this. So the DJs reading all the phones and all the names of the songs...” (60:19, Sebastian)

8. Parenting in Changing Times

[49:57–53:20]

• Sleepovers Debate: Concerns about safety and changing norms regarding children’s sleepovers, especially for daughters.
  • Quote: “They don’t even want girl sleepovers because they don’t know the father, the brother lurking around…” (48:40, Sebastian)
• Kids’ Resilience at School: Sebastian observes how kids today shrug off teasing more easily, contrasting it with childhood anxieties of their own youth.

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Memorable Quotes

• On Celebrity vs. Anonymity:
  "You do the show with Sebastian. I can't remember your name. You're so fucking hilarious." (02:59, Fan to Pete)
• On Club Culture:
  "I've never heard this loud before...my jacket was doing this, it was bouncing with the music." (59:20, Sebastian)
• On Italian Parent Rules:
  "You do not bring anybody into this home that you’re considering dating...unless you’re getting married." (44:46, Sebastian)
• On Modern Parenting:
  "You're lucky anyone picks you up at any of this shit ever, you know?" (33:20, Pete)
• On “Grandfriends”:
  “If your grandparents pass away, you don't pick up grand friends. You just don't have grandparents now. They're dead. That's how it works.” (28:11, Pete)

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Notable Moments (with Timestamps)

• 00:57 – Reunion after two weeks, teasing over “new leaf” in behavior.
• 03:49 – 10:33 – The full “Abandoned Boots” story.
• 14:42 – Sebastian can’t believe Pete’s no-hotel travel approach.
• 19:50 – Patrick’s laugh loyalty questioned.
• 23:25 – 31:00 – Entire segment on “Grandfriends” and inclusivity.
• 36:57 – 41:38 – Sebastian’s naked roommate and adjusting to college life.
• 53:29 – 62:29 – Behind the scenes of the Steve Aoki music video and dance track launch.

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Episode Tone

Comedic, confessional, skeptical, and nostalgic with an undercurrent of heartfelt, observational insight about the changing world, family, and enduring traditions.

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For listeners seeking an entertaining mix of relatable travel misadventures, family chaos, old-school convictions, and pointed commentary on changing social norms, this episode is quintessential Pete and Sebastian at their best.

Transcript

[A]

Craig. I'm Craig Melvin. Cheers. Cheers.

[B]

Cheers.

[A]

I've always been a glass half full kind of guy, and now I'm talking to some people who look at the world that way too. Some really fascinating folks who share their defining moments, their triumphs, their challenges. Their stories are funny and quite candid. So I hope you'll join me each week. And who knows, you might just come away with your own glass half full.

[B]

Search Glass Half Full with Craig Melton From Today on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. This is the Pete and Sebastian show with Pete Corieli and Sebastian Maniscalco.

[A]

All right, Pete and Sebastian Show. Welcome back.

[B]

Sebastian Show.

[A]

What? So it's been two weeks really, I mean, since we've heard anything out of your camp.

[B]

What's up?

[A]

What's going on? I know you've been traveling. Have we had any incidents? I know you said you're trying to turn a new leaf, you're trying to be flattering. Have we had a. You know, we're very, we're very proud of you that you're trying to turn over a new leaf. But to be honest with you, new leaf isn't funny. So we're looking for slips in the. We're looking for. Did you pull a Pete in the last two weeks?

[B]

No, I, I haven't pulled the Pete in a long time. I. I'm.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

It is a smoother version of the pulling Pete's going on now, by the way. I don't know, I don't really follow the cast numbers or anything like that. It's all by feel for me. And I'm like a fucking beetle out there now, guy. I flew three days in a row the other day. I got four wrecks, four recognizes in three days. That's insane in my world. They vary too, you know, and. Anyone, if you recognize me, you want to come up anytime, Anytime. Even if I'm praying, come up. If I'm in church, it's fine. So, you know, some of them come up. Pete fan, almost all of the cast, you know, but the stand up, so varies. But then you get ones like yesterday lady was so great, man. She comes walking by in the airport and she goes, holy shit. You do the show at Sebastian. I can't remember your name. You're so fucking hilarious. And I go, pete, she goes, jesus Christ, can I do a photo? Like, she doesn't remember my name, but she knows you, that I'm hilarious. And it's like, I get it, I get it. You know, it's like, sometimes my favorite actor in a show, I just. I can't remember the guy's name. And then there's someone else who I don't even like, you know, in another show that, like, I. You know. Like, right now, there's a show. I'm watching the Billy. Billy Bob Thornton Show. You've been watching that?

[A]

Landman. Landman, yeah. You didn't even know the name of the show.

[B]

No, I did. I just forgot for a second. But the Mexican actor who got blown up in the beginning, like, first and second episode.

[A]

Don't be.

[B]

Come on. What are you talking about? You didn't even have to. You don't know what I'm talking about yet. It was like the opening.

[A]

They don't know, but I don't want to know. I only saw number one. I saw. I only saw number one. Where you got.

[B]

What.

[A]

Don't tell me what happens after the first episode. I saw that. The guy got blown up.

[B]

That's what I'm talking about.

[A]

Okay. That guy.

[B]

Yeah. He's.

[A]

He's in a lot of stuff. I don't know his name either.

[B]

Right. And he's way better than guys that. I do know their name. So it doesn't always. Michael Pena, I think it is. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.

[B]

Anyway, but. Anyway, yeah, I love that people love the cast. I love doing the cast. So that's really. I love when they come up and say that. Now, a couple things I want to bring up. Traveling. One thing I never did before, I did this traveling trip. What'd you take? Have you ever done this?

[A]

I bought shoes.

[B]

Boots at the airport. I went shopping. Shopping. Left my old boots behind. Put them on.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. There's a pair of Pete Corrielli's shoes in an airport somewhere.

[B]

Well, they were left in a box at Gate F7 in Minneapolis.

[A]

Wait a minute, Wait a minute. You left a random box with shoes in it at a gate?

[B]

That's what I want to walk you through it. Let me walk you through it. I'm sorry. Detroit. So I'm wearing these. I got a nice pair of boots that. The ones I had on tour with you that are at the Cobbler. And I don't know if you've ever gotten shoes repaired. Daylight. They don't get them back to you till, like, the next year. I don't know who they think they are with these shoes, man. Like, the boots. So, like, I've written those things off. I don't know when I'll get them back. So I needed New boots. In the meantime, I'm wearing these old, like, tannish hush puppy boots, beat up. But it's like, I'm not digging it, and it's not as cool as that. I normally go. So Jack and I went shopping for some boots around here. Can't find anything I really like. So then I'm. I'm in Detroit, and I'm doing the escalator to get to my connector, you know, where you just slowly going by. It's called Murphy and Dunstan. I want to say it is something like that. Murphy and something like that. And they had beautiful boots. I had the video, but they're beautiful boots. And I'm like, I got to check those out. So I go over, I check some of them out, and then I don't buy them. And I go that night to Milwaukee. Do the show, by the way, again, folks coming out, having a great time, loving the shows. Milwaukee was a blast. After the show, do a meet and greet. People have nice things to say. One dude says, oh, God, these the shoes. Because I listened on the radio, not the video. These are shoes that Sebastian was making fun of that you held up. I go, guy, no, those were big, ugly Uggs. These are my. Nice. Cool. And he goes, oh, geez. Sorry. But he was making fun of my boots. I felt it, too. I was like, jesus Christ, no. Yeah, bro. I haven't. No one's making fun of my footwear in, like, 20 years. It's unheard of. So. So then I got another show in Minneapolis and then. Which I got a couple things I want to tell you about that. I don't want to hog the whole show, but bottom line, I called Jackie. I go, I got a layover in Detroit on my way home Sunday, I'm gonna hit this shoe store.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

I'll FaceTime you. So I FaceTime her. I'm showing her the boots. There's a bunch of different pair, and I pick a pair.

[A]

I love them.

[B]

Love them, right? And I buy them. Guy wouldn't. The guy was very annoying, too, in the place. But anyway, I buy him. And now I say, see you later, Jack. I'll see you when I get home. And I'm at the gate. I'm at a gate because I got, like, two hours to kill. And I'm like, why am I still in these shit boots? I'm done with these. This is over. Let's get cool right now. So I took out the ones that were in the travel shopping bag the guy gave me, and I put them on I'm literally. I'm lacing them up in F7 in the corner where no one's around, taking the tissue out. And then I take my old ones and I put them back in the box and I just slide them to the side. And then my flight gets delayed even further. So I call Jackie a little later on. I'm like, yeah, I'm stuck here for a while longer. By the way. Boots are feeling great. And she goes, what do you mean? I go, what do you mean, what do I mean? I'm wearing them. Why would you wear them now, Pete? They're just gonna get ruined. I go, what do you mean they're gonna get ruined in my everyday boot? May as well get started with them. I'm wearing them right now. And she's like, where'd you put the other side? So.

[A]

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[B]

It's weird, man.

[A]

But I. I don't understand, like, going to ruin them.

[B]

What do we.

[A]

Where are we. What are we doing with the boats? What do you mean? In a room?

[B]

That's what I'm saying. What are you talking about? It's not like I'm going to get home. We're going to spray them with some special spray. I'm going to put them on. Let's just get started. Problem is when you wear a cool boot and then I'm wearing a ski jacket. Once I have a cool boot on, you got to have an overcoat on.

[A]

Yeah, I'm surprised you even mix and match that stuff. That's why maybe you should have waited, because it didn't go with the outfit. But more importantly, I am not into leaving a box with a random pair of boots in it at an airport gate. I mean, that's like Security 101, right? And people going, what's. You know, what's that over there? I don't know. Is that your box? No, that's not my box. How long has it been there? I don't know.

[B]

Three hours. Three hours?

[A]

Well, that's. Well, that's a little insecurity, bro.

[B]

I took. I couldn't. I couldn't get the shoes, and I couldn't get the box down the garbage can. So I was able to stuff the top of the box down to the garbage can, and then the shoes are just sitting in a box.

[A]

No, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is another story. This is another story. Were you under the impression that the boots and the box were just left in a corner? I had no idea there was a garbage can involved.

[B]

But you can Keep your eye on

[A]

it the whole time.

[B]

Like he's keeping his eye on it.

[A]

You didn't say anything about a garbage can. You said you just slid them over to the side. What's this garbage can?

[B]

Shit. I'm in F7. I take the shoes and boots off. I put on my new ones. I put the boots and stuff the old ones in the box. Right here is a garbage can. I go over and I can tell the box it won't fit. I can smush the top. Put that in. I take the box with the shoes, put them back in the garbage bag and just slide it over the side. Anyone will go out. Somebody bought new shoes. They just threw the old ones on the side.

[A]

So it wasn't in the garbage can. It was left on the floor.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The bag was with the boots in it? Yeah. Oh, I think we're fine.

[A]

Take you out in handcuffs, bro.

[B]

What are you. What are you talking about, man?

[A]

Unidentified unattended box of shoes at the gate. Might as well be a bomb.

[B]

Oh, right. Maybe left behind. I see what you're saying.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. They fingerprint the boots, and then I guess belongs to Pete Corelli.

[B]

I didn't even see that. I think they saw my move. I was so close to the shoe store, they're probably like, this happens all the time. I'll tell you what I did, though. When I got to Minneapolis, I treated myself, man.

[A]

What did you do? Did you buy a whistle?

[B]

No, but actually, when I was on the plane flying to Minneapolis, because it's funny you say that. I had a really early flight the next day from Milwaukee, so I purposely took the window of a two seater because I'm like, let me just get on. All I have is my knapsack. I'll throw it above hat. You know how I do my hat down? I'll do my hat down. And I'm out the whole flight. I was out. It's just short flights. An hour and 20 minutes. So when we land, I lift the hat up, and there's a woman. I knew there was a woman next to me, and she looks at me. Oh, my God. Yeah. What's the worst thing you could say? I want to lift my baseball cap up after a flight, and she looks at me and she says, good morning. Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

I mean, I'm like, I'm in Minnesota. That's for sure. I know what Minneapolis. They're like almost Canadian up there. You know what I'm saying? So did you respond? I Said, oh, hey, hello. You were out the whole time? That's what she said. I was like, oh, early flight. You here for business? I said, no, yeah, yeah, work. But she didn't ask what work? Thank God. I said, yeah, no, work. And she goes, well, if you get some free time, we got a lot of great restaurants here. And I said, yeah, no, I know. Just like that. I go, yeah, no, she was coming at me. And then she goes, what are you here for? And I go, I said it so quick. I shouldn't have. I should have let it stick. But I went like this. I go, I'm ice. Just kidding. Like that. But I should have let it. And then she's like, oh, we're having a problem with that. And that was it. But then I get off the plane and I'm like, you know, I'm like, I'm gonna try and get. I don't even have a hotel yet. So what I usually do is I see where I'm playing, then I'll get a hotel near that, and then I'll take an Uber to that. Hot, right? I do it as I get away.

[A]

Hold on, bro.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You go to a town unbooked?

[B]

Oh, every town. Every town completely unbooked.

[A]

Oh, wow, bro. That's amazing.

[B]

I land in Milwaukee, I get a cup of coffee, I sit down, and I'm like, all right, where are we? Where's this? And I'll do. I'll do a Google Maps, and it'll say like, you know, 25 miles away or however far. And I'm like, all right, do I want to be that far away in the morning? I like to be. If they. If they. If they had a hotel underneath the wing of my airplane, that's where I'd sleep at night. You know what I'm saying? So when I'm going through Minneapolis, I'm like, what the fuck? I look over and one of the ways out of security is in. Into the Intercontinental Hotel. I'm like, I'm staying there. So I Google that. It was not bad. It was like 270 or something like that. And then you have your own security that you go through. And now you're in the hotel. You've seen those, right? They have one in Detroit too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, so in the morning when I'm. When I leave, I just go through to. Yeah, from 5 to 11, they're like, is your flight between 5 and 11? I go boards at 6:20. And they go, well, then you're fine, because we only have the guards there from 5 to 11 that security's open. So TSA has agents. So you just have a cup of coffee in the lobby, go up to the third floor. Nobody. Just two TSA agents. You go through and you get out, you go through security, and you're in freaking at F7. You're right at the gate. You're right there in the airport.

[A]

That's beautiful. I've never heard of this, though. I've never heard of not having room and board previously arranged before arriving to a city. This is remarkable. This is like a new. I've always had a hotel just because. In fear that. Oh, you know, it's.

[B]

That's the way you normally do it.

[A]

I've never heard of anybody just sitting down at the airport going, all right, let's see. Where am I going to stay tonight?

[B]

Well, I will do. In defense, I will do, like, ahead of time. I'll check. Like. Like, when I was going to Minneapolis, I was like, geez, I hear all these agents are taking the hotel rooms. Let me do a thing. And I go to orbit. Tons of hotels come up for that date. So I'm like, all right, that's. I don't know what they're talking about. And then when that date comes, because, like, when I land, too, there's a lot to go with here. Like what I do, for example, when I land, where's this place I'm playing? Is it far? How much is Uber? Is it, like, crazy? Do I need to rent the car? Like in Milwaukee I was playing in. I think it was where. The neighborhood in Wisconsin where white used to be from some D or something it was called. It was a real nice theater, but it was like 40 minutes from the airport. And I'm like. It was like, Uber would be like 100 bucks one way, practically, and then 100 bucks back. But a car rental was like $32. So I'm like, I gotta rent the car. What's your take on driving to a gig?

[A]

I used to drive to a lot of my gigs. I used to park right in the DOC or whatever the hell it is and then get out.

[B]

It's not showbiz.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

When you headline it, it's not show. I tell my wife that, and she's like, I hear you. I get it. I go, but it was like, I had to. That one. But normally, I mean, Uber into the back entrance is fine. I don't need a limo and that shit. But just when. When you're driving, it's like, what am I A pharmaceutical salesman. You know what I mean? I got my car keys in the green room. It's tackle.

[A]

Yeah. No, I don't. Yeah, I. Listen, I. I've done it. I'm not saying I haven't done it. However, you definitely get. I'm telling you, pulling up in your own rental car at a gig, it's a different vibe you get from the crew. And whoever sees you come in, like, this guy's a down, downer guy drives himself to the gig, you know, like, he's going. Like, he's. Yeah. The next thing to come out of that car, in their eyes, is a lunch pail. Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. I don't know. I think there's a fine line between down to earth and, like, what is this? You know what I mean? And then sometimes they tell you where they want you to park, and they go cross when you're there, and we'll open the gate or whatever. So you're driving in, and then they're waiting for you to get out, to walk you in, and you're like, one second, I'm gathering my. It's. I can't.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

You know what's cool? You pull up, you get out. You got a nice overcoat on you. Boo boots. You come walking up. How you doing? Shake a hand here. You go in the back and you sit down. Yeah, my bag. And so anyway, you're going on tour again? Sooner. I'm ready, bro. No, the shows have been fun, though.

[A]

Aren't you. You're coming to Vegas, right? March.

[B]

Yeah. No, I'm looking forward to that. Yeah. And I'm playing the Aspen. There's some sort of Aspen comedy festival that I'm doing the first show to. Kicked that puppy off the Wednesday before. So it's gonna be a fun.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[B]

Yeah. No, the shows have been fun, but sometimes traveling alone is a little sluggish.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it's nice to have a crew with you bouncing around. I actually miss going out on. On tour with the. With the. With the team. So, speaking of my sister, we were talking about Patrick last week, and she was saying that Patrick's laugh has become, dare I say, an integral part of the show. People enjoy when he laughs. Now, have you heard that from the fans that your laugh is. Cantis is telling me that every now and then. Yeah, okay. So I said, yeah, yeah. They, like, adds to the show.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So then we got to talking about, and we're like, I wonder if that laugh is specific to the Pete and Sebastian Show. I said, is he doing this laugh with Whitney Cummings? So we did a little research. I believe it was. What's that? She's really funny, too. The comedian, who is.

[B]

I laughed really hard during Robbie Hoffman's interview.

[A]

Robbie Hoffman. Okay. So we went to Robbie Hoffman interview right away. Robbie Hoffman. Check her special on Netflix. I think it's really, really funny. She's funny. We pulled it up and we heard the laugh on the Whitney Cummings show. Now, what's your take on the laugh? Different spots. Do you think he should tweak the laugh for that show? Should it be the same laugh for both shows? What's your take on that?

[B]

Well, I mean, I guess it's genuine if it's on both shows, but, you know, it's like, I just put it this way. If I had a band and the guy was my bassist and he was a bassist in another band, he wouldn't be a bassist in my band much longer. Patrick. Oh, I don't hear the laugh on that one.

[A]

Nothing. No, he's laughing. He's laughing.

[B]

Patrick, you know I'm kidding with you. But, yeah, it's like. So, like, how does that play out, though, you know? Like, what if? What if? Like, I don't know, man. I don't know what to think of that. Does that, like, is it popular on the other shows as well? Do they just.

[A]

I don't know. Are you getting comments on the calming show that Patrick laugh is. Is.

[B]

I don't think so. Whitney's kind of stopped doing interviews, and so her performance is less back and forth surprises.

[A]

So basically, if you're reading through the lines, it's not as funny.

[B]

Well, to Whitney's defense, I guess she's, like, not bouncing back and forth. Jackie's a particularly big Whitney fan, too. Man, she is funny. She was so funny when we had.

[A]

Which she is.

[B]

A lot we got to discuss, bro. I'm wondering, like, guess wise, what are we doing? I want to have Adam Derwitz with us.

[A]

Who?

[B]

The lead singer from the Counting Crows.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah, well, okay, man, I'm. Whatever.

[B]

You want to do the Pete and Sebastian show.

[A]

We don't see each other much anymore.

[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

Here's what I want to talk to you about. All right, I got to get this in. There's grandparents day at the kids school, right? Do your kids ever. Does Sadie have a grandparent day?

[B]

Not that I know of, no.

[A]

Okay, maybe this is a private thing, but there's a Grandparents day, so I got an email. Grandparents and Grandfriends Day. I go to Lana. What's a grandfriend? Eh, Ever heard of that?

[B]

Yeah. Well, I know what that is.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

To Grandma's Grandma's on Grandpa's Friends, Right? Like, you know when your mom comes to your show sometimes and she brings some of her friends? That would be like to your kids. That would be grandfather.

[A]

Okay, I'm wrong. Pull it up. We did the research already, but I just want to make sure Perplexity has the same facts I have. Now that you bring that up, that would be the logical definition. Oh, Grandma's got grandfriends right?

[B]

Yeah. You want to come see my granddaughter in her blah blah, blah. You're allowed to come too. That's not what it means.

[A]

No.

[B]

Wow, I'm surprised.

[A]

Grand friends and a child life can mean an elderly person who is a friend, which my kids don't have any elderly friends other than their grandparents. So I don't know what that means. It's not like my son's hanging out with a 70 year old man who's a friend. Right?

[B]

Right. But like, let's say mom's got a new boyfriend and the boyfriend's dad. I know you know pretty well you don't have to prove that you're related to come to this thing, I guess. I don't know man.

[A]

It's, it's like a grandparent, like figure a mentor in the definition that I brought up. It could be an aunt or an uncle. Okay. So I'm like, okay, now I got, now my brain starts to move. I'm like, okay, yeah. Why, why do you think they would say grand friends? Why isn't it just Grandparents day? Why do you think they've added grand friends?

[B]

I don't know why I was thinking that too, why they would add it. But if I was like, you know, like, I'll give you even more normal scenario, right. Hypothetically, sadly, a couple, one of them passes away, now the other one's a widow or widower. He starts dating a woman. He's getting close with that woman, but he's not ready to marry her. That woman's got a dad and that person is on our lives too. And my kids come to know the woman I'm dating's dad too. And now that dad is coming close to my kid, he's going to take my kid to this thing. If there's no such thing as grandfriend, does he just show up and pretend to be grandpa? Does everybody just not question and ask Id like how did it used to work in a scenario like that? I'm very wordy today. I apologize.

[A]

That that could fall under our grand friend, I guess.

[B]

But from what I say anything or do you just do like, you know, if they didn't say grandfriend, if they said hey, it's bring your grandparents day and you don't have one, but you have that, would you just bring that anyway or would you say, well, you can't come because you're not technically my grandfather.

[A]

They're not going to say you can't regardless. But what I was thinking is if you don't have grandparents, they died.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, how this used to be growing up was, if it was Grandparents day in the 80s and your grand. Your grandparents weren't alive on grandpa Grandparents Day, you just did something else. You know, it's like everybody's grandparent came in, but the four people that didn't have grandparents, they, they did arts and crafts. Like, they, they just.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Didn't participate in the Grandparents Day because their grandparents died.

[B]

Wait, no. Yeah, but now you bring it up a different point here. If you, if you have a grant, if you have a grandfriend because you've never experienced having a grandparent, that's one thing. But if your grandparents pass away, you don't pick up grand friends. You just don't have grandparents now. They're dead. That's how it works. One dies, then the next, you got one left. Listen, it's a sad thing to say, but it's life. You don't sub them out.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Old people in the neighborhood.

[A]

That's what I was saying.

[B]

I'm not into this. I'm not into this. I don't know. I need to understand the reason for the grandfriend.

[A]

Okay, so. Everybody today is so worried about being left out, right?

[B]

I know.

[A]

Like, everybody's got to be, oh, if you don't have a grandparent, you could bring your aunt today. No. When they go around the room and go, where's your grandparents? You go, my grandfather died in World War II and my grandmother died in a fire, whatever the fuck it is. Right, right.

[B]

So my father had a falling out with his mother. I think she's still alive, living in Oregon. I'm not sure. Yeah, but whatever it is, Whatever it

[A]

is, they're so worried about the kid being alone on Grandparents Day and not included that they, they all of a sudden now Grandparents Day becomes grand friends. And next thing you know, you know, I'm going to the, to the grandparent day because I don't want. So I asked my kids, I said, on Grandparents Day, if you got no grandparents there, are you going to be upset? Crusoe goes, no. He goes, I'm going to go build something. Like already he's figuring out what he's going to do. I go, seraphina, how about you? She goes, no, I just, I would just do like some arts and crafts or something. I go, you wouldn't be upset that all the other kids got their grandparents and you're sitting there building something? She goes, nah, I'd rather do that. Because what happens is if you don't have a grandparent, they pair you up with somebody else's grandparent and the kid.

[B]

So.

[A]

So grand grandma comes to spend grandparents day with their grandson and all of a sudden Seraphina is going to be tagged into that as a grandparent. I go, what the fuck is this other kid doing here? I want to spend time with my grandson. Right?

[B]

And you know, if you got any sort of a normal, luckily relationship with your grandchild, you're already spending quality time. I don't even like being put on the spot.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

When I'm 70 something, if my daughter is married, lucky enough to have a kid and she's like, dad, do you want to go to the school? I don't want to go to school. Bring them by Sunday when I'm having coffee, I'll play with her and shit. I don't need to go to the school. But now I'm not a nice grandpa because I don't want to do that. So, yeah, your kids are. Your kids are doing Rose a favor. Donor a favor.

[A]

She might go. I'm just saying.

[B]

You think she wants to. It's a hassle. L. A traffic. I don't know.

[A]

I mean, you know, probably not. She'll probably. She'll probably. She'll probably skip it. She. Listen, she's been there before. She's came, but she's come late. You know, I got. I got something I'm going to tell my.

[B]

Going to go. Good, good. I'm sorry. No, this is the kid stuff. So I'm on the road, I'm literally like getting ready to. My plane's about to take off, and Sadie texts me, calls me crying. She's got a alpha phone. Watch. Mom's not gonna let me go tonight to this Valentine's party. You gotta help me. You gotta help me. And I'm like, sadie, I'm about to take off.

[A]

Blah, blah, blah.

[B]

I'm not helping you. Right. Anyway, one thing leads to another and come to find out Jackie was late picking her up for. She swims every night. And one of us has to go pick her up and say. And one night Jackie goes, pete, I swear to God, I was like a minute late. I get there, Sadie's in another person's car, like her good friend with the mom waiting. So then Sadie gets in. Jackie's like. I go, how long are we waiting? She's like, oh, you know, like 30 seconds. But she says to Jackie the next day, you're always late. Oh my God, Jackie laid into her. And then I come home And I'm like, first of all, I go, you're lucky anyone's picking you up. I go, who do you think you are? You're Big Fat Nothing Burger. You're sitting here telling us we're late. You're lucky anyone comes. And I go, and next time, we don't come yet. Is the building locked? No. Are the people still in it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You stay in the damn building. You peek your head out. If we're not there, you go back and you don't run. And I get into somebody else's car. What kind of shit is that? You don't even to get in someone's car, Sadie. And she goes, they told me to get in the car. Well, next time, you say thank you. My father told me to wait in the building. You don't ever get in anybody's car. You're a big girl. You're almost 13. You can stand there. We all know this town. You could stand there overnight and nothing would happen. And don't ever use that lip. You're lucky anyone picks you up at any of this shit ever, you know?

[A]

Does Jackie give you a high five after that?

[B]

Well, we try to stick together, but then I do side text her, and I go, Like, a lot of times they fight over clothing, and I'm like, sadie, your mom wants to just. I wear that. Just wear it. But then I'll text Jackie on the side, and I go, jack, I don't need this shit. Why do you care? Why do you fucking care if she wears the socks with the hearts? And Jackie's like, she's not gonna wear him at this party. When would she wear them? And I'm like, no cares.

[A]

Never. Why do you.

[B]

I mean, pick and choose your battles. Like, who cares? But then to my daughter's face, I'm always like, your mother wants you wear them, you wear them.

[A]

But.

[B]

But then, bro, it's so funny. About to go on stage, and I get this text from Sadie, and it's, like, really long. It's like, to me and Jackie, you guys, I just have to say, I've been doing a lot of thinking. If you don't even believe what I'm about to say, I understand, because I've not held up my hand so many times, but I love you guys. Like, it's one of these long things about how much she loves us and how I have to change my ways. And this.

[A]

That. That's good.

[B]

And Again, if I'm 40, I read this and go, oh, God. I give her a big hug. But at my age. Now you read it and go, look at this one. Trying to use the words now to get what you want.

[A]

Like you're.

[B]

Like, it's all manipulation. I just. All you have to do is think is think about when you moved out for college. Were you sad?

[A]

Were you sad first semester? Yeah, I was.

[B]

Oh, I forgot, Patrick. I forgot talking to mama's boy over here. I couldn't wait. I don't know anyone who couldn't wait. Couldn't wait. So why would I think my kid can't wait either?

[A]

Well, your kid might be me.

[D]

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[C]

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[A]

Not that I didn't want to go to college. It was just. You have to understand something, bro. And you didn't have the full Italian experience.

[B]

I didn't? No. I had a hardened half Irish side to it. They were a little more hard.

[A]

When you leave an Italian home, all right, it's like. It's like you leaving the Four Seasons to go stay at Motel 6. You know what I'M saying, like, everything's done. Your meals, the laundry. It's just. Oh, yeah, my mom.

[B]

Yeah, right, right, right.

[A]

Everything is just handled. And then when you leave, and then you gotta go. I got a roommate. Well, I told you I had a roommate that was naked the first day I moved in. He was a nudist. My freshman roommate was a nudist. Okay? So I got up to get a phone call from my mother the first morning, and he got the phone before me. He got up and he was sitting there with the phone naked. You got a phone call? Fucking, what is going on?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So throughout the week, I would come home, he would be doing homework naked, right? What? Yeah, he was a nudist. He didn't tell me this. Like, you know, you meet your roommate on the phone, man, we're going to be roommates. I'm bringing a tv. Okay, I'll bring the mini fridge. Shouldn't the, hey, I am a nudist pop up on that call? What do I got to find? I got to find out the first morning with a fucking dick in my face.

[B]

That's. But that's not even like a real thing. That's not like you can't like just say you're a nudist. He just mean, like he was slow in putting his underwear on in the morning. Or like literally like a nude. Oh, God.

[A]

Did you get.

[B]

Did you tell the ra. Did you transfer? Did you get out of that?

[A]

Listen, listen, all right, I never heard this.

[B]

This is sexual harassment.

[A]

So after a week, I go, guy, you know, what's with the no clothes? He goes, I didn't tell you. I go, no, because I'm a nudist. I go, not anymore. You got a roommate, bro. Like, yeah, whatever you were doing in your parents house, if you're walking around your bedroom naked, that was. That, that, that happens there. Right now I'm here. So thank God. The second we comes along around and I don't see him and I start noticing things are missing from his side of the room, right? I just notice like, little things like, oh, you know, his books are gone. Oh, he took his printer, his wastebasket is gone. Periodically, things would be missing from his side of the room. And I wasn't really seeing him at all, right? Then one day I come back, he's gone. His side of the room is like cleaned. Like, the posters are down, everything's down. He was a cheerleader, male cheerleader. He moved in with the cheerleaders and the cheerleading team. So basically I had the room to myself. For the first semester, this guy moved on, which was beautiful, but I don't know how I would have addressed that moving on if this guy was still walking around naked while I was talking to my parents. When I got on the phone with my ma, she goes, what's going on? And this guy's naked. Like, what the fuck am I gonna tell my mother the first day her son moves away from home? And now he's looking at a naked man.

[B]

But, shit, my freshman year, if someone told me, you gotta look at a dick for 10 days, then you get the whole place to yourself till December, I'm Jesus. I mean, what is that like, bro? Yeah, one. What is this?

[A]

Like, it ain't fun, bro. All right. You sleep with one eye open, hope you don't get hit with a nut.

[B]

Yeah, but after those first 10 days, man, the whole place, if I would

[A]

have known that, then that would have been a different story. I didn't know the guy was going to move out. But anyway, when you move out of an Italian house, it's a, it's, it's, it's jaw dry. It's, it's, It's a big thing, right? Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So college, though, dude, when I, when I went. By the way, when I went to college on that, I was thinking about this the other day my freshman year, about three weeks in, I was dating a girl a little bit, and we rented the. You could rent a video machine to. And a video, and I hooked it up to the TV in my dorm, and my roommate was. Went home for the weekend to his parents. He wasn't far away. And Remember that movie, Willow? This old movie, Like, I think it was Val Kilmer. People were in it or something like that. But I remember, like, watching or watching the movie, and then when it was ending, I was like, we're just, like, going to bed. I was like, this is so, like, not even this. I'm not talking about sex or anything. I'm just saying, like, my whole life has been parents in the next room, door open, sitting on a couch like this, drive home or something like that. And now I'm just, like, going chick next to me. Oh, my God, this. You don't get that at home. You couldn't do that at home?

[A]

No, I couldn't even have anybody in my room. I, it was like, you know, I, I, I don't, I don't, like, what's your take on, like, you know, Sadie's going to be 13. I say maybe three, four years from now, she might have A boyfriend or something that resembles a boyfriend. And he comes over, right? And. And I know people in my own life that the kid sleeps over, boyfriend sleeps over. High school. What you think high school? Oh, yeah.

[B]

Are you out of your mind? Not a chance. Not a chance. Nobody will be drinking in this house in high school. Nobody will be sleeping over this house. Girls can, but not the boys. That's ridiculous.

[A]

I'm not getting up in the morning to get a cup of coffee and saying hi to Tim. Right, right.

[B]

Well, let me.

[A]

What the.

[B]

I said, I got one for you. Then with that, in your daughter's lifetime, how many times is it acceptable for dad to wake up, come downstairs for coffee and say hi to a Tim? Like. Like if Sadie was on her third boyfriend.

[A]

Hold on one second, one second. There's a tapping.

[B]

It's upstairs guy. It's upstairs. I don't know. It's the dishwasher or something. Just like it's done. It's the heat

[A]

mountain out of a

[B]

molehill with this guy.

[A]

I've been hearing it the whole show, just.

[B]

Not now. I was asking a great question.

[A]

Go ahead. I know, but I was just driving

[B]

me crazy when your daughter has a serious boyfriend in college and bey. And she's like, I'm bringing Tim home as to your. To your name for Christmas or whatever, right? And he's in the kitchen. Then Tim and your daughter break up. And then two years later, I'm bringing Kevin home. Like, I think by the third time, I tell Sadie, this is the last guy I'm meeting in my kitchen in the morning for an espresso. That's not becoming your husband. Okay, so.

[A]

Okay, so in the Italian culture, and I dealt with this firsthand, my father believed, you do not bring anybody into this home that you're considering dating or what have you unless you're getting married. I don't want to meet anybody unless you're getting married to them. So for prom, I had a girlfriend, right? There's pictures at my house for prom. Two other couples were gonna come, right? She comes decked out, beautiful white dress. My dad and my grandfather give her a nod, and they, you know, not hello, and they walk into the next room. It was extremely rude. So a couple days go by, and I said, or I asked my mom. I go, what. What the hell is wrong with that? Hell no. He don't believe, you know, and, you know, bringing somebody into the house unless you're. You're gonna get married. So he. You don't wanna. Now I go, this ain't Sicily, right?

[B]

Like, this is crazy. This. You grew up with some of this.

[A]

I got this. You know, it's my girlfriend. I'll go with it. You know, you get. I don't care who it is. It kind of caught you. I'm like, oh, God. You know, I can't have a girl. Can't have a girlfriend. You can have a girlfriend, but not here. What? Whoa.

[B]

So, like, are they. Are they not even welcome in the home until they, like.

[A]

No, can't. You don't want to be in the house, can't be announced. Wow.

[B]

When. With Lana, Even though you know you're going to marry her before you ask her to be your wife. Is that good enough? Or do you have to be engaged if you're like, dad, this is the one that's not good enough. You have to literally be engaged before she can come over.

[A]

You have to be engaged to get married in order for my dad, at this point his life to say hello or accept the girl. Right.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

That is old school.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So I had to literally go to her house and hang out with her family. Her family was quite the opposite. Wanna stay for dinner? I'm like, yeah. And they did great dinners, too. Beautiful dinner. Mom and dad. And they would all eat. And salad. We're passing salad. Her sister would be. It's like, oh, this is. And then. And then, you know, it's hard to tell your girlfriend, hey, can't come home, can't come over. Why? Because I'm not getting married to you. What?

[B]

So did you even get engaged when the time came, or did you let her know by just saying, I think it's time you come over? No, like, that was your engagement. That was like, her way of knowing you automatically. So how. I. I feel like there's got to be a happy medium with our daughters, right? Because I kind of like that. That's a little crazy. But I do like the idea of. To Sadie. I don't want to meet every Tom, Dick and Harry. All right? You know what I'm saying? Let's. I don't want meeting friends.

[A]

But. But don't you, like, oh, Dad, I got a boyfriend. You don't want to meet this guy?

[B]

Well, I mean, when she's in college and she's dating a guy, you know, if. If you're not in love with him and think that you might end up marrying him, don't bring him home for Christmas. All right, so.

[A]

So. So you don't want to meet, like,

[B]

if you want just having fun with the guy, we'll have fun with you. The dog's still alive, your cousins are in town. We don't need him. But if you think you might marry him and you're loving them, then bring him home. That's what I'm saying. That's like it's a version of your dad's.

[A]

No, listen, I don't. This high school thing about the sleeping over and this, that and the other thing, listen, I cannot. I cannot see it. And I don't know if you guys listening have this problem at your house or maybe your daughter sleeping over at her boyfriend's house and their parents don't care, but Seraphina ain't bringing anybody into this house for a sleepover. Well, girls, no girls, fine. But even, like the girls thing, like, I don't know if you caught this because you live in, like, a small town where it's still the 1950s where you live. So everybody's like hunky dory and, hey, here's an apple pie. You know, it ain't like that in, like, the bigger cities. They don't even want girl sleepovers because they don't know the father, the brother lurking around, right? This seems to be a big thing in the last 15 years about don't have your daughter sleep over at somebody's house because you don't know the father. What, you know, if he's a molester or this, that, you know, that's apparently a thing now. Although it wasn't a thing growing up. Everybody was just like, I'm sleeping over my so and so's, and nobody got fondled.

[B]

I don't know, right? I say, sadie, keep your watch on. I'll come get you at any given time at any of these places. But everybody's fine. These girls, man, they are. Every weekend, these. All these girls are fighting to sleep over. They want to hang out. I mean, have you had a sleepover? Oh, my God, all the time. We had a snow. The other day we had a snowstorm, right? A couple of weeks ago it was. And it was like the day was called. So it was like 10 o' clock in the morning and it was snowing. They had a school, a snow day, and it was a Friday. And like 10 o' clock in the morning, there's a knock at the door. Sadie's playing piano and it's two of her friends, full snow gear. Can you come out? 10 o' clock, Mercedes, like, yeah, okay. She gets on the stuff. They go, let's get so and so, lives next door. They go over. She's home, they get her. So then you see them out there. Sleigh ride and this and the other thing. Then they come back. Can we go get da da da Starbucks? Yeah. Can we go swimming at the community pool? Dad, can you take us all? We all talk to our parents. If someone takes us, we can go. I drop them off at that. Then another parent picks them up. They want McDonald's. Then the one parent said, we can all sleep in the basement. And then they're in the basement. And then we're going to the mall. And then like at noon, at 2, we're picking her up at 2 somewhere. I go, Jack, 10 o' clock in the morning, she's like playing piano. Next thing you know, it's two o' clock the next day. And she's just been riding with these three friends, like, wow. Like. Like, it's like a kid's life is like, you know, knock wood. If they're lucky enough to have that kind of a, you know, childhood, a regular childhood. It's like they don't know. Nothing going on about the politics. They're just flying. What's going on? What do you got? What do you got? What do you got, right? Like you said, growing up with your mom, sandwiches made, laundry. All you had to do was study and dance. That's it. 18 years. Study, study, eat, dance. Study, eat, dance.

[A]

That's it, man. It was simple life, man. It was, you know, nothing. Nothing to really even think about.

[B]

Those.

[A]

Those days are over. Especially here. There's none of that shit happening here.

[B]

But if you don't think your daughter is gonna make close friends and go, dad, can me and Sabrina and Nancy and Tina sleep out in the guest house Saturday night? Oh, that's coming, guy. That is coming.

[A]

That's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine. I gotta. I gotta look girls. I gotta see where these girls are from. Believe me, I got a good Keena. I knew this kid was going to be a problem in my son's soccer league. My son's soccer team. A couple weeks ago, I saw a kid. I saw a kid get dropped off with the parents. I sized up the whole family. I go, this kid's a problem. Didn't even talk to him. And sure enough, that kid. That kid was making fun of Caruso. Called him a little dummy.

[B]

Ah, not cool, man.

[A]

So I go to Caruso. I go, and I didn't hear this. I go to Cruz on the way home, I go, how do you like your team teammates? The guy kid called Me, a little dummy. I go, what? He goes, yeah. I said the score was 5 0, but he said it was 4 0. Little dummy. I go, well, what did you do? He goes, I just shrugged off. Don't bother me. I was like, God damn.

[B]

Nice. Nice.

[A]

Kids aren't even phased, right?

[B]

So I. Oh, God.

[A]

What? I'll tell you. Oh, I got to tell you about this. And I sent you this video. I launched my dance song in Las Vegas with Steve Aoki. Did I send you this? I sent you.

[B]

Yeah, but I didn't know that's what it was. I just heard you dancing, and I didn't think twice about it.

[A]

Okay, so Steve Aoki and myself. Steve is a dj, if you don't know who he is. Launched a dance song called. Does your father know you dance like that?

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's a comedic dance song. Me, basically making fun of the clubs. One of the lines is, 14 guys sharing one bottle of Grey Goose. That's kind of the gist of the song.

[B]

I dig it, man. Okay, so you lay tracks over the song, like those kind of things, the beat.

[A]

Yeah, but there's a little bit more to the story. But that's why I was at the nightclub. Now Steve comes to see my show at the Wynn. From there, we get in cars and we go to Caesar's Palace. Now, this guy travels with a lot of people. He's got a lot. He's got camera people, got managers, security. There's a lot going on. I got Lindsay, my pediatrician, and Mike Young with me, And I'm exhausted, bro.

[B]

I just.

[A]

I did 18 holes of golf, two shows, and now it's 1:30. And we're shooting a music video for this song in his suite at the Caesars, Right?

[B]

That's insane.

[A]

I'm dancing.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

And doing all this goofy stuff. So it was like a little break because he had to get ready to go dj. So he was getting his stuff together, and I was sitting down, bro. I hit about 16 yawns in a row. You ever just, like, consistently keep yawning? That's what was happening to me. I haven't been up at 130 since 2009.

[B]

Sound sounds different when you're really tired. It's, like, unpleasant. It sounds like my body's telling me to get out of here. Wherever you are, get out of here. Eighteen holes of golf, two shows. Yeah.

[A]

And now I'm in. Now I'm in a suite at the Caesar's palace dancing on a couch. Now he goes, okay, we're gonna go Downstairs and dj. So now we're snaking through the casino. Cameras, pictures.

[B]

It's his guys.

[A]

We go into the club from a back. Back entrance, right? Now, this is. This is a nightclub where, you know, they got bottle service, waitresses. You should have seen the women in the back of this place. I mean, bro, it was unbelievable. I mean, thongs, every.

[B]

Everything's out. Just out, right? Like, God damn.

[A]

This is what's going on here. So we get whisked into this. We just get whisked into this green room. We got about 20 people in a small green room. You can hear the music from outside the door. I can't really hear much. I'm there, right? Then I get slipped a little baggy, little plastic bag. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, shit, there's the drugs. That's what's going on here, right? Cameras, cameras. I got the baggie. Like, that's it. It's over, right? I'm like, what. What is this? Like, you know. You know when you're in a club, nobody could hear. So that's all this guy's probably seeing is. Yeah. So he's like this. I go, like.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I don't know if this is, like a signal for. Like, this is really gonna get you going.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I open it up. Earplugs.

[B]

Oh, nice lights.

[A]

Now I'm like, it's so loud out there that I gotta wear earplugs. Like, it's loud already.

[B]

I'm going out there.

[A]

I'm going out there, bro. Whoa, man.

[B]

It's like the battle lines. Holy.

[A]

Here's your rifle.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So we get in a circle. He does like, a circle. I see a lot of people doing the circle before, like, performance. Mainly musicians. They get. They hold hands. They say a prayer. We're gonna have a great show tonight. That's what we're doing here, right? But I can't hear shit. I just hear. I'm like, okay, whatever that was. And then break.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And now we go out.

[B]

I. I didn't like that circle thing at all, guys. Hearing that was bouncy. I've seen that shit too.

[A]

I've seen it done. Whatever.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It is what it is. I go out there, bro. I've never heard this loud before. I mean, I've never been in an environment where even with the earplugs. My jacket had a jacket on. My jacket was doing this. It was. It was just. It was bouncing with the music. Oh, wow.

[B]

And it's hot in there.

[A]

And I'm sweating. And all of a sudden, you know, there's like a smoke that comes down from the ceiling. Now I'm freezing pneumonia in here. And then

[B]

everyone just dancing.

[A]

Oh, my God, bro. But this is all. This is. This is what dancing looks like in 2026.

[B]

Oh, my God, that's so sad. They got the phones out.

[A]

Really? So I ask him before in the room, I go, this might date me, but do you still. Do you take requests? Like, remember when you were at a club and you wanted a song? You pass a piece of paper to the DJ and it said, michael Jackson, Billie Jean, I got you. You know what they do now?

[B]

What?

[A]

On the phone, they write the song and they hold it up like this. So the DJs reading all the phones and all the names of the songs. Like, you know, weirder things or.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

This is the request now. Oh, my God. I was like, what's. Wow. No one's dancing with each other. They're dancing to him. They're all looking at him. Oh, man. I was like, oh, wow. This is.

[B]

How does he see. Like, they gotta come up close though, right? He can't. Yeah.

[A]

Like the first three or four rows, it would be like you performing at a theater. And then the first four rows are holding up jokes like, do pistachio. Pistachios.

[B]

Oh, man, that's. Bro, that is weird, man.

[A]

Yeah. So anyway, I came home about 3:30, bro, exhausted.

[B]

Did they play you? They played you.

[A]

Yeah, I played the song. Song was great. Went over great. So well, I got some. We shot the video. So I'm looking forward to seeing what that looks like. But.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That's a day. Holy shit.

[A]

Oh, man. It was a weekend. It was a weekend. And then the next day, I did 18 holes, two shows again, came home, got ready, took Serafina to gymnastics meet in Long beach, and I watched the super bowl while I was watching her do gymnastics from the stands. What's your take on this? I brought an iPad to watch the Super Bowl. Right. So when we had to go out for the awards ceremony, I was watching the iPad. I actually had the iPad, like, just holding it, watching it. And I felt somebody over my shoulder and he was watching the game on my iPad. What's your take on stealing a watch from somebody else's iPad?

[B]

Nah, you can't do that. It's a passing glance. That's all you can do. That's all you can do.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I didn't even watch the whole thing. I only watched a tiny bit at the beginning.

[A]

I watched it because I followed football the whole season. I just wanted to see what happened. But the game wasn't that interesting. That's it, man. That's all I got here.

[B]

It's a whirlwind, man. That's a good one. No, entertaining, man. The whole way through. It started out talking about hotels with airport security all the way around, man. To. Oh, by the way, you watching the Olympics yet?

[A]

A little bit here and there. My son's in there. Curling. Oh, my.

[B]

Are you serious? I feel like they're. Like, there's a TV in the LA area where someone's watching this shit. Like nobody watches that. I think it was on the night of the super bowl because they know

[A]

no one's gonna watch.

[B]

Really? Was. That was gone because I was checked over in the Olympics and they're curling that night. And I said to Jack, I go, even they know, let's put it on a Super bowl night. No one's watching this.

[A]

Yeah, Caruso is.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway. Usa, baby.

[A]

USA all the way. We will see you next week, Pete Sebastian. We're out. Something to take you away Some magic

[B]

or mystery door Is dying to take

[A]

you away Dying to take you away Take it.

[B]

The show has ended.

[A]

What do I gotta find? I gotta find out the first morning with a dick in my face.

[C]

The sun shining, birds are singing and all feels right in the world.

[A]

Until the season changes and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression no matter the season or time of year.

[C]

At the American Psychiatric association foundation, our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all. Because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round.

[A]

Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more.