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The Portrait System Podcast
How Maternity & Motherhood Photographer Lola Melani Manifested Her Business (Re-Release)
01:05:17
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- [00:00]
Nikki Klosser
Hey there, it's Nikki Klosser and I want to let you know about an awesome free giveaway for people on our email list. If you haven't already, click the link in our podcast description or go to theportraitsystem.com signup to get on the list. If you sign up, you'll get a free posing 101 PDF to jumpstart things. It's an epic PDF, so you'll definitely.
- [00:19]
Lola Melani
Want to get this.
- [00:20]
Nikki Klosser
Also, just by being in our email community, you'll get deals, sales, and information about any of our upcoming events and activities. So head over to theportraitsystem.com signup and sign up.
- [00:31]
Lola Melani
Today you're listening to the Portrait System podcast.
- [00:35]
I set this goal. I visualized it so clearly and then I let the universe do the thing. So I opened my mind to all these opportunities and I told myself, universe is going to show me.
- [00:53]
Nikki Klosser
Welcome to the Portrait System Podcast. I'm your host, Nikki Klosser and this.
- [00:57]
Lola Melani
Show is here to help you succeed.
- [00:59]
Nikki Klosser
In the world of photography and business. To help you learn to become financially free, doing what you love and so much more. With over 1 million downloads, countless photographers have taken what they've learned from both our episodes and from the portraitsystem.com and.
- [01:12]
Lola Melani
They have grown their businesses, quit their.
- [01:14]
Nikki Klosser
Day jobs, and are designing a life of their dreams.
- [01:17]
Lola Melani
We keep it real and share stories.
- [01:19]
Nikki Klosser
About the ups and downs that come with running a photography business.
- [01:22]
Lola Melani
You'll hear real life stories of how.
- [01:24]
Nikki Klosser
Other photographers run their business and you'll learn actionable steps that you can take to reach your own goals.
- [01:30]
Lola Melani
Thank you so much for being here.
- [01:32]
Nikki Klosser
And let's get started. My guest today on the Portrait System is Lola Melani and she's one of.
- [01:37]
Lola Melani
My favorite photographers in the world. Lola focuses mostly on maternity and mother and young child portraits and she does these shoots in the most beautiful way. Lola and I got pretty deep during her interview and she shared about her humble beginnings and even how she learned to pose and shoot from watching a TV show. Lola also talked about how she manifested her life and she gave the most beautiful advice about how to have a life that you love and that you deserve. What an amazing conversation we had and I'm so happy to share it with you. Okay, here is Lola Malani. Hi Lola. Welcome to the Portrait System. How are you?
- [02:13]
Hi Nikki. I'm doing wonderful. How are you?
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I'm so good. It's so good to talk to you.
- [02:19]
Thank you, thank you. Nice talking to you too. Thank you so much. For inviting me to be here.
- [02:25]
Oh, of course. I feel like this was a long time coming, I think. Let's see. The last time we saw each other was at the 2019 Portrait Masters conference, right?
- [02:37]
Yes, it might be 2019. Yes. I met you on the 2018 when I was prego.
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That's right.
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And I was doing my speech. Yep, yep, I met you then. But I'm sure I saw you because I came back on 2019 with a baby and my team and. Yeah, yes, yes. It was a long time. I mean, it's like three years now, right?
- [03:01]
Yeah. I didn't have the podcast way back then. I wasn't doing this. So this is.
- [03:05]
Yeah.
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All new for me, too. New stuff. Lots has happened since we've seen each other.
- [03:09]
Yeah, lots have happened.
- [03:11]
Okay. So you are one of my most favorite photographers in the world. Like, your work is absolutely breathtaking. There's just something about the way that you capture motherhood and women, and it's just. It's incredible.
- [03:26]
Thank you, Nikki. Thank you.
- [03:28]
It's like every time you post something new or, you know, even just scrolling back, like, right now, I'm just kind of scrolling back through your. Through your Instagram, and every photo I see, I'm just like, oh, my gosh. Like, there's this one here. This was in November 2021. There's this woman against the wall, and there's, like, shadowy leaves. It looks like from a tree. And you know what I'm talking about. It's a beige wall, and she's in, like, a beige dress.
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Oh, yeah, yeah. It was just recently. I think it was, like, from October. Thank you, Nikki. I really appreciate it.
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It's a lot, like, can stop on every single photo, and it just makes me go, like. It's just so beautiful. I'm just sitting here looking through your work now. Okay, so for people who maybe don't know you, will you just give a recap of kind of what you mostly photograph and who you shoot?
- [04:17]
Sure. I focus on working with women, and I photograph maternity and motherhood, so pretty much. And beauty. Beauty, maternity and motherhood. That's my main focus. I can photograph other genres, like boudoir. I can do a little bit of fashion. I can do newborns and families, but I prefer to focus on shooting what I'm really passionate about, and that is pregnancy and mother and baby portrait.
- [04:57]
Mm. Have you always known that this is what your kind of niche would end up being?
- [05:03]
Yes and no. When I started getting really into photography and it started to become. Become my Hobby and my passion, I wanted to be a fashion photographer. So I was really drawn to the world of fashion, and I was just really attracted to the lighting and the styling, the colors. I was studying the fashion magazines. I was just mesmerized by this world. And I decided, oh, my God, I just want to do that. I want to photograph fashion. I want to be in this glam world. So I started basically learning that and learning myself, kind of teaching myself how to photograph and how to set up my lights and create portraits that resemble the magazine photographs. So in order to do that, I had to photograph somebody, and I couldn't find models, so I invited my girlfriends, who were real girls, no models. And I started practicing on them and creating the experiences and photographs that felt like they belong to a fashion magazine. Started playing with studio lighting and just studying fashion magazines and trying to, you know, see how they use the lights in this photograph so that I can recreate it. And that's when I realized that that's what I'm really drawn to. Like, I love working with women, and I love the idea of taking an ordinary woman and creating this amazing transformation and making her feel like, okay, she belongs to the COVID of Vogue magazine. So that's how I started. And I never thought I would become the. I would focus on pregnancy later on, but I can tell the story about it because it's a long story.
- [07:20]
Yeah, no, I'd love to hear. I'd love to hear it real quick, though. I can see the fashion influence in your photos. I totally can see it. I mean, it is definitely there. So, like, when you say you make women, just ordinary women who aren't typically models look like Vogue, I mean. Yeah, it's. You're achieving that 100%.
- [07:41]
Thank you. Yeah, I was definitely. I definitely brought that fashion editorial feel, like that vision that I had into, and I married it together with the, you know, the classic studio motherhood portraiture. You know, when I moved to New York. Well, first, my story starts in New Orleans. If you don't know. I actually. When I moved to America, I started my journey in the southern city of New Orleans. And I was 21. I was 21. And I came here as just like, a student to work in some service summer jobs like restaurant waitress, cocktail waitress, hostels. And then I was supposed to leave to go back home. But then I really love the country. I love the people, love the energy. I love the opportunities.
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Home is Russia, right?
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I know. Yeah. Home is Russia. Yes.
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Okay. I just want to make sure people knew that.
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Okay. Yes, yes. And then I realized I could really see the opportunities I want to stay here. The only along the way I was able to stay in these countries to get myself into school and get a student visa. So that's what I did. I worked two jobs, I saved money and I got myself into the MBA business program, the University.
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Oh cool.
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Of New Orleans.
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Yeah.
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Because that was the only program that was very close to the degree that I got back in Russia. I had economics degree because that's what my parents wanted me to get. My parents said, okay, if you want to stay America, you have to continue studying and getting a good job because you know, that's for them it was the understanding of, it was definition of personal success, you know what I mean? Because I love them, but I know where they're coming from. And they lived most of their lives through communism and socialism. And you know, during those times like getting an education and kind of settling, not even achieving anything, settling for like a stable, mediocre job was like some kind of. It gave you some kind of social status in life because everybody was equal, you know, so. And I was like, okay, you know, I'm going to make my parents happy because that's what they want. And I just going to get myself into school, I'm going to pay that school myself, work to a job, but it doesn't matter, that's what they want. I'm going to do that. So I did. And then after I finished my business degree, I was offered an internship and then eventually job at the hotel, luxury hotel chain, lowest hotels. It was like in the finance department. So. And the same day I started the internship and I found myself in a cubicle at my computer desk, I realized how much I hated it. I hated everything about it. And I was like, okay, this is it. Am I supposed to be happy?
- [10:57]
Yes, it happened in my life.
- [11:00]
So I started working and you know, like I was looking forward to like two things at my job, the lunchtime and the time when I was going back home and leaving my desks. And I was like, that can be it, I can't live like this. This is not my life. So that it was like a very eye opening experience for me and I realized something very important. And I decided, okay, I'm going to work as much as I can, save money and eventually I will open my own business and be my own boss. And simultaneously at that time when I was working there, I started getting into photography. I got my first Canon Rebel as my graduation gift by one of my friends. And then I started exploring and just pretty much taking pictures of everything. And I was really mesmerized by this beautiful world that I saw through my lens, the viewfinder. And then I started getting into Photoshop and oh my God, it's like the whole new world just opened in front of me and every single, like I was running back from work and just going to my laptop and trying to learn something new. Knew I was sleeping for like three hours a night. But you know, when you're young, you're like, you really don't care. You have so much energy flowing.
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Totally, totally.
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When you're 23, 24, you sleep three hours a night and you don't care. You still have so much energy. And that's how it kind of all started, little by little. So I just, I set that intention. I told myself, one day I'm going to become my own boss. Yeah. And I was just slowly walking towards that. And then I set up a little studio at my home back in New Orleans and I started playing with lights. I realized I am obsessed with fashion. And I was like, okay, how do I learn? I was hungry for education, Nikki. And it was 2019. Oh, I'm sorry. 2009. It was 2009 and there was nothing. It was like literally nothing. I don't remember. I don't know if you remember the time, if you did some were doing any research on like photography.
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I used to find social worker in 2009. I was not in the photography.
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2009. I was hungry for education. I was like, I want to learn photography. Like, I want to learn fashion photography. I want to see the behind the scenes of the masters of, you know, the masters of photography. I want to learn from that. I want to see the light and they use. And it was Nothing. Like on YouTube, you can barely find like a few tutorials on how to set up like a three light 90s style portrait. You know, it was no creative live. There was no supervised education. There was nothing really. No. There was no online platform where you could just log in and buy a course and just learn something. And you know, Nikki, I almost felt like I had this feeling that this famous fashion photographer, photographers, they almost don't want to share.
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Yeah.
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Craft. They're holding back. I was like, why? Why? I can't find a single behind the scenes. Why can't I find a single course on that? Why don't they? Nobody teaches that. I mean, you can still find something. Like if you would want to learn fashion, you would have to actually get yourself into the school. And take a course. So it was, you know, workshops were not that widespread. So that's, that's what I realized. And you know how I was learning? I was actually buying books. 2009. I was learning by reading books. I had the whole library of books and photography and Photoshop and oh my God, that book, it was like my bible. It was Photoshop CS2 by Ben Wilmer. It was like my table book. I was learning the Photoshop by reading a book. How crazy it sounds now, right?
- [15:12]
Oh, totally. That would be extremely difficult to learn from a book, especially with how many changes there are and updates and.
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Yeah, but it was. I still remember that cover. I think I still have it somewhere. But that was, it was quite interesting. And eventually I found Nikki. I found a great source that I've learned a lot from and that have actually helped me. And I'm still using a lot of techniques and tips from, from that source. And you know what it was? Don't love? It was a TV show.
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Oh, well, there you go.
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It was. I found, I found what I needed and it was America's Next Top Model. Ah, yes. And it was. I remember it was beginning of 2010 and they already had like maybe five, seven, I don't know. And I bought every single season on.
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Itunes because the photo shoots like every time.
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Every time. And what's amazing, every episode, I mean, obviously I was not into drama. I was like fast forwarding all the girls drama. I don't care about that. All I care was watching those behind the scenes. And what's amazing is that every episode had two photo shoots. They featured two different themed photos, photo shoots with two different famous photographers. And you could see like the whole production, the direction, you could see how photographer was talking to the model. You could, you can watch them in action. You can like, you can see the lighting they were using, even the lenses they share. This was so cool. And I was like, oh my God, this is the coolest thing. And I remember I was doing notes. Like I was sitting watching on my laptop at night and I was writing notes because at the time I didn't know how to direct anybody, you know. Plus, you know, I was like, English was not my first language. So I didn't even know how to say like, you know, raise your shoulders, bend your elbow, nothing. So I was, I was making notes of what they were saying. And they, you know, I swear to God, I still use those notes because I started practicing and talking those, like saying them to when I started photographing people using those notes. And I Still, I still use them, and it's amazing. That was a great. But you know what's cool about this? They also had a panel of judges by the end of each episode, and judges of photographers and, you know, fashion directors, and they were critiquing the photograph, and they were saying, exactly what's wrong with that? Like, they. Why did they not like this pose?
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Amazing. Yes.
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And you would think, like, oh, this photograph is amazing. But they would completely destroy it. They said, this is bad. The posing is bad. You know, and that's how I learned a lot about posing, too, and a lot of different, like, posing mistakes so that I still also use now in my work. And that's been. That. I mean, that's been a great source that I found that worked for me. It's not like I'm saying, okay, everybody now have to run and watch America's Next.
- [18:17]
Right, Right. Well, we have our resources now.
- [18:21]
Absolutely. Now we have all these amazing platforms. But back then, that's what really helped me in learning what I wanted to learn. So I found a way.
- [18:30]
I always love, like, I love hearing these humble beginnings because I think sometimes, you know, you're an incredibly successful educator and photographer, and you have been for years now, and I think it's so great for people who are either just starting out or whatever to hear that, you know, everyone has to start somewhere. Everyone has to learn somehow.
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Absolutely.
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You know, regardless of how successful you are now, you started just like everyone else, trying to learn how to pose, how to direct, how to light, all of it.
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Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I've learned, like, I didn't really have a mentor at the time. I didn't have anybody who would just help me and said, hey, this is how you should do the business. This is the business of. Of. Of. Of studio photography. This is how you should light. I've learned. I basically just learned from scratch from my own mistakes. It was a crazy journey. But I love. I love everybody. Yes. Yes. And I enjoyed every second of it. I'm just actually so grateful that I had to experience all these challenges and make all these mistakes, because that what shaped me into what I am now.
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Yeah.
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Yeah. I love sharing that. Because, you know, Nikki, people also think, like, oh, my God, Lola, oh, yeah, you're perfect. Like, they always think, oh, I've always been, like, a guru of photography. No, I'm not really, you know, that I actually started with studio lighting. You know, like how a lot of photographers start with daylight, and then they transform from shooting from daylight to studio. I started with studio right away. So, like, that's how. And then I had to teach myself how to, you know, go to the daylight. When I started working, like, with newborns and families, and I was struggling so much, and I couldn't figure it out.
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Natural light on America next time.
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I was. I was shooting with. In automatic mode for a year. Automatic mode, Yeah. I mean, and I was making so many mistakes, like why my images are all so fuzzy. Why am I not getting what I see through the viewfinder? And it just, you know, it was like. Yeah, it was a learning curve. But I. I love it. I love it.
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Yeah. And with English as. English as your second language, you're newer to the country and making it all work. And it's like, I can imagine you probably worked incredibly hard, incredibly hard back then and even, you know, now still, but absolutely still.
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I mean, you always work hard.
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Yeah, yeah. You have to put in that work, especially at the beginning, to be able to master your craft. It's like whatever direction you're taking and whatever portraits you decide you want to focus on and whether or not you want to use studio light or window light or outdoor or whatever that looks like, it's just practicing and trying and making mistakes and just mastering that, whatever it is you decide to do, it's so important to go through that.
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Absolutely. Yeah.
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Yeah. Okay. So you decided, you know, this is what you were gonna do. And I love that you said, too, you stuck, you know, you stuck with the job maybe that you didn't love. Well, that sounds like you hated for a little while. Did that help you just kind of, like, get a base financially to be able to absolutely start?
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Yeah, because. Yeah, I told them myself, I'm going to save everything, and I'm going just to invest it into having my own business. At the time, I didn't know what kind of business I'm going to get myself into. But then when I realized. And photography started to consume my life, and I realized, okay, this is more than a hobby now. And I realized, okay, I want to. I want to move out to a bigger city with more opportunities, because at the time, nothing was holding me in the small city of New Orleans, really. I was single. I didn't really. I wasn't really connected to my job. So I was just. Let me just move. And somebody mentioned, why don't you go to New York? And I was like, yeah. So I just saved. I had just enough money to. To survive for about five months just paying rent and very basic expense, a very, very little tight budget. But I was able just to have this money just so that I was able to leave and not necessarily work and support myself in any way, just to kind of have the savings and finally realize what I want to do. So basically when I moved to New York with my suitcase and my dog and a few thousand dollars in savings, people thought I was crazy. Like they were telling me, you're insane girl, what are you doing? And I just said, you know, I just want to be a photographer. Like I didn't know what kind of photography. No, I knew, I'm sorry. I knew that I wanted to work with women and I wanted to photograph women, but I didn't know exactly the niche, the genre, how I'm going to do it, where if I'm going to have a job and actually assist somebod or I didn't. I never asked how I'm going to do that. I just kind of, you know, I set this goal, I visualized it so clearly and then I let the universe do the thing. So I opened my mind to all these opportunities and I told myself, universe is going to show me, I will figure it out eventually. I have this five months, it's going to be fine. And that's what people were really. It's interesting how, you know, you have a lot, you think you have a lot of friends and friends of friends, but you know, when something like this life changing event happens and you decide to move and there's a lot of these people, very few people actually in fact are going to be supportive, right? And tell you, yes, girl, I was just thinking that actually go, you deserve it. You need to be out there. You know, they're not thinking about themselves. They love you and they want, they want good for you, they want you to succeed. But the majority of people and friends, they were telling me, oh no, oh, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna struggle there photographer? Are you kidding me? Who are you gonna be like? Are you gonna photograph bar mitzvahs for a hundred dollars? Are you gonna live in the closet? You know how people live there. You know, the taxes, you know how.
- [24:56]
What's your back?
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You gotta get a job, get a job. Somebody told me, get a sugar daddy, girl, you're not gonna survive this in a mega post. Get a sugar daddy.
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I mean, no thanks.
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Yeah, exactly. But you know, what happened is like I was already so determined and I already seen it so clearly, my success, me making it in a new city that I basically just put a filter. You know, they've been telling me all of this and I just. It's like I didn't even hear them.
- [25:29]
Yep, yep. Lola, I can relate. Yeah.
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Yeah. I didn't really care what they were telling me because it's my dream, you know, and it's precious to me, and I am going to make it work no matter what. And nobody can tell me that I can do something. Okay. So that's how my mindset was when I moved. And yes, it was risky, but, you know, there is a saying in Russian, who doesn't risk, doesn't drink champagne. So I love that I decided I wanted to drink that champagne. So I was. Yes, it was a risk, but it was the best decision of my life.
- [26:18]
Okay. So, Lola, I was thinking, I'm the same. I believe 100% that mindset and just making decisions and that you're going to do something is so, so, so important and manifesting in all of it. But I feel like there's also this part of, like to be willing to take action and take risks and do all of these things. It's not like you just sat in New Orleans and everything just happened for you. There has to be an element of doing things as well. Don't you think?
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Yes, absolutely. So you have to not just think about, okay, I want this, and then put it on your vision board, whatever, clip it, and then not do anything and sit there and get lost in a negative mindset. Still kind of looking at the board, thinking that magically the things are going to appear in your life. No, it's about actually working on your mindset and taking steps every day. Doesn't matter how little the steps are, but just taking those steps and working towards your goals and visualizing them clearly, like in 3D. And not just visualizing, but also feeling like, what would you feel? As if it's already have happened. You know what I mean? Like accepting that feeling of your goals being fulfilled. You're not just imagining you feeling it. And that's what I did, you know, when I decided to move, it was a very risky decision. Right. But I was visualizing myself being successful. To me, at the time, that was something of a high value. I wanted to be busy. I wanted to be in demand. I wanted to be known. I wanted to. For me, that was a success. I was visualizing people, women, a lot of women that I photograph that they are happy. I visualized them actually paying me. I visualized checks and cash. I visualized feeling a good feeling of comfort and happiness that, you know, I am somebody, I am known, I am needed, I am busy, I Have a business running. I love doing what I do. And I was just walking towards that. You know, I manifested so many things in my life and manifestation has, it's really. Has been a tremendous part of my journey. I would say the ten year journey. The past ten years exactly when I moved to New York, I've manifested pretty much everything. I manifested my first studio in Manhattan, the little one, the second, my dream studio space. I manifested relationships, I manifested love, I manifested wedding, I manifested Sue Brice conference. And standing on the conference and doing that talk for the first time in front of a large audience. It didn't just happen to me. It didn't just. It wasn't just a luck. I manifest like I visualized myself standing on that stage with you before she even knew who I was. That's how crazy it is, right? It may sound crazy, but that's how I am. And I'm not afraid to set my goals so high and the higher they are, like the crazier they sound. It's actually better for me. I love it. And I love voicing. I love voicing my dreams. That's very important because when you speak it out, it even becomes even more powerful. And I don't afraid to speak it out.
- [30:12]
I was gonna say, do you have like a specific process of manifestation? Like is it very structured and organized or are you just more of like. Okay, let me give you an example. Like I know that I manifest things and I go based on feelings and visions in my head. But I'm not the person who's gonna wake up in the morning and do my like daily meditation and my. I am so unstructured in every single thing I do except for my kids bedtime. That's super structure. But when I think about. It's killing me that I can't think of the name of this book that I read. But one of the kind of mantras from this book was I choose to focus enjoyably inward. And you take a deep in breath and you just feel what it will feel like for me to have the thing that I want and you just let it take in your whole body. And I breathe in and I say I choose to focus enjoyably inward and I blow out and it resets me. I don't know. Anyways, I'm not super structured with my manifesting and all of the things. And I'm curious if other people are like, you know, just what your process is.
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I used to be not too structured now lately, when I really learned, you know, the power of mind and meditation and Manifestation. I do take time for myself like just to disconnect. And I do take two hours a day, you know, not picking up the phone and just kind of being in this state of mind and starting the day like little rituals and then making time for myself to disconnect and do a little 10 minute meditation a day, which is important. But even if you don't have time for it, if you're not structured, you can still do little things that will help you to attract things, manifest things faster. Like you can create this visual frame that you can always put in front of your eyes, kind of like in the back of your head, you know, play it in front of you any time of the day, like any time of the day. And whenever you feel you're getting caught in some negative thoughts or you know something is worrying you, put that frame immediately in front of you and feel how it makes you feel, how wonderful, how much joy it brings you. Because feel of it already have happened, like you have it, whatever it is. And for everybody it's going to be different, you know, right? For some people, whatever makes your soul happy. That's what it has to be. It doesn't have to be. It's not going to work if it's about money, you know, if you're going to try to manifest and try to visualize like $50,000 in your account and have this frame in front of it, it's nothing. The soul doesn't understand that, you know, this is just a category. You need to focus on something and set your goal around. What is the highest value for? What is it that you really, really want, what your soul desires? And the example is like, for example, it can be like sitting in the backyard of your beautiful new mansion and playing with kids or doing some gardening or maybe for somebody it is like, I don't know, surfing in Bali or taking six months of work, spending time with parents or family. And you just have this frame in front of your eyes all the time. And this is it. The more often you practice that, the more powerful it becomes. But also you have to have the courage to talk about it, to speak it out, to speak it out and just to be very comfortable about that goal. So I going to tell you a little story actually. And that was 2011 and I came to New York. I stayed with a friend of mine. I was looking for apartment, cheap apartment in Brooklyn so that I can move and nobody knew me. I obviously didn't have any studio. I didn't have a place yet. I was no different. But in Business. And I basically just had this desire to go on Facebook. And Facebook was big at the time. It was 2011, everybody was on Facebook. So I just felt I wanted to go there and put it out there. So I wrote the post and I still have it. I have a screenshot of it on my phone. I wrote this. I said, I really want to have my own photography studio in New York City and I will make it happen no matter what. I wrote these two sentences and I attached like a picture of my, you know, some beautiful commercial studio space. That was it. I put it out there.
- [35:03]
That's amazing.
- [35:04]
You know, I put it out there. Who was I? Nobody really. I was not even in photography. Again, nobody knew me, but I was just. I said it out loud. And fast forward four years. Okay, that was in December 2011. December 2015, the very end of the year, I'm signing the lease for my dream big, beautiful commercial space in Chelsea in New York City. Huge commitment, big risk. I mean, it was my highest financial commitment I've ever had. It was very scary, but I was doing it anyways. I was very happy. I signed the lease and me and my at the time boyfriend, we went to have a little dinner and have some wine and celebrate. And then I'm coming back home and I decided to go on Facebook. So I'm opening Facebook and you know, this little pop up window just shows and it says, you have a memory from 2011.
- [36:08]
Oh my God.
- [36:09]
I know, I have goosebumps right now as I'm talking to you. On this day in December 2011, you did this post, whatever the language was on Facebook. And then I saw that post.
- [36:25]
Nikki Klosser
Hey, just a quick break to tell you that since you're here listening, you have access to a really great offer for our listeners only. We have a special promo code you can use to get 50% off the cost of membership. Just go to theportraitsystem.com or click the link in the description and use the promo code PODCAST50 to get 50 off of a membership. We rarely discount membership, so this is a big deal. As I hope you already know, the membership is how I and so many guests on this podcast reached our success. And it gives you access to countless amazing videos, an awesome community, and all the tools you need to build a massively successful business. So use the code podcast50Now to join the community and to start building the business of your dreams. I'll see you there.
- [37:12]
Lola Melani
No, this is crazy, right?
- [37:16]
I mean, to the day.
- [37:17]
To the day. This is crazy because every time I Tell this story. I'm covered with goosebumps because this is crazy, right? Because it was to the day, and it took me actually a few minutes just to kind of process that. But that's the power of it. That's the power of. You know, you're almost like, prophesizing. Right. It's a power of speaking out your desires and not letting anybody tell you that you cannot achieve that.
- [37:47]
Right, Right. I wonder, too, if part of it is allowing yourself to dream big. And when I say big, I don't mean expensive things or lots of things or whatever, but it's allowing yourself like. Like, you know, I wanted a cottage on a lake where my kids could go every weekend, and this is before I even had kids. I mean, this was just like. But I knew I was going to make that happen. And it wasn't going to be my primary home. It was going to be my lake house. Like, my cottage. I had no idea how I was going to do it, but I knew that was going to happen. And I talked about that all the time. And now I have that. I think a lot of people are afraid to even begin to allow themselves to think of these. Like, sometimes. Like, I remember sue asking people, what is it that you want? And sometimes people have no idea what to even say because I think they get so blocked from allowing themselves to admit that they want all of these things or something. I don't know what it is. It's like, I have friends that I'm thinking of that just don't allow themselves to even believe that there's a possibility that they could have this dream, you know?
- [39:00]
Yeah, yeah. People just. They don't dream big enough. Yeah. And that's why, you know, I never really set the goals around money. Really. I never do. I never, like, okay, this year I'm gonna hit, like, 100 grand. Oh, my God. That's it. I'm gonna be. No, I never do this. I always said the goals that are so high and that are connected with what my soul wants. You know what I mean? Because if you go for money, okay, well, you would be happy with. How about 500,000? Why not a million? Why not 5 million? Why are you sitting yourself so low? And, you know, it's because of the limited mindset. People think, but how I won't be able to make more than. I mean, that's not impossible. So they already kind of limiting themselves. So when you put the number, you already limit. What if you're going to start doing something this year that's going to Bring you another stream of income that you don't even know about. What if it's not even going to be photography, right? Like, how do you know that?
- [40:07]
Totally. Okay, so, I mean, and even just going back to the lake house example is I used to visualize. I could just see it. And I wasn't even trying to visualize it. I just. I could see my kids running around and fishing and jumping in the lake and me, like, just like driving the pontoon boat with, you know, I could see all these things. I could feel it.
- [40:28]
Yes.
- [40:29]
I didn't, you know, at the time I was a social worker making no money. Like, I didn't know how I was gonna do it. I just knew I was going to. And here I am now a photographer with photography education and a podcast and, like, who knew, you know?
- [40:44]
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
- [40:46]
So much of it. Is that visualizing?
- [40:48]
Yeah, that's what I visualize too. You know, I visualize something that makes my soul seen, you know, like, it gives me incredible feeling of joy and fulfillment. And that's not a bag of money sitting on my account. Even though I did that. I did visualize and I did manifest. You know, I put something on my vision board back in 2013 where I would just put a zero, you know, Photoshop my bank account and put a zero and like printed it out and stick it to my vision board. Okay, let's let me just visualize that. And I manifested that a year later, I had that amount. I still have that bank slip that made me feel good for a few hours a day. And I was like, okay, what's next? Was I feeling fulfilled? No, I was miserable. It was 2014. I was overworked, I was overbooked. I was one person company. I hated everything about my business. I just was going to close. I had that money on my account. Was I happy? No.
- [41:47]
Yeah, that's such a good point. That's such a good point, Lola.
- [41:50]
Like, it's really important to set your goals, like, very high. What your heart desires, what your highest possible dream. And, you know, everything. It is, truly everything is possible.
- [42:04]
It is.
- [42:05]
And it's just. It's amazing how Nikki, I've learned that, like, during this 10 years, it works. It freaking works.
- [42:18]
It does.
- [42:18]
You can manifest anything. You can be anything you want to be. You know, the thing is that a lot of people don't understand and have kind of a trouble manifesting. It's because they. The law of attraction, it works in reverse, meaning you have to first be whatever it is that you want. To be, you know, for many people, it's hard to comprehend. And people tend to think, okay, once I have this, I'm going to, you know, once I have this much money on account, I'm gonna take this. Once my kids are growing, it's gonna be easier. Once I achieve this, I'm gonna feel fulfilled. It doesn't work this way. You have to be happy now. You have to be happy now. And the universe is just going to bring you whatever it is that you are, is going to give more of that. And if you want to be happy, you have to be happy now. You know, you have to enjoy. Start enjoying and finding joy and happiness in little things and use perspective and use gratitude to bring you into this beautiful, joyful state and operate out of the state, you know, and meet every little things that are coming your way. Doesn't matter if they see negative at first sight, meet them with. With. With gratitude and joy and happiness. I know that may sound crazy, but that's how it works. And that how you slowly kind of rewire, reprogram your subconscious mind that is full of all these blocks that you are not good enough, that, you know, you don't deserve that. Just basically trying to. To become happier person. Try to, you know, if you want more love, love now. Love yourself now, Love people. Learn to love yourself. Learn to be obsessed about every little thing that makes you unique as a person that you brought in this life. You know, love other people, be kinder, be compassionate, and people will love you back, and you will get more of that in your life. And that's how it works. You know, you have to be then. You have to experience it. You have to feel it now. The time is now. Not when you are. Not when you made this much money, you know, not when you built that house finally. No, you know, you have to already have it in your mind and experience. Like, I already live in that house, Nikki. I have the dream house. I live in it, like, actively I live in it. Like, I shop for curtains. Like, not shop, but I'm, like, looking, I'm doing research. And what I would put, I already visualize. And like, I don't have that house yet, but I have it. I live in it already in my mind. And I experience the joy because I've read so much about this, and our mind doesn't even know the difference. It's science. Our mind doesn't know the difference between your imagination, what actually happened. So that's so true. Amazing. Yeah. And that's why, once you realize it, you'll see what this incredible opportunity that you have. The mind is just so powerful. And by just using your imagination and by, you know, living through those emotions that this visualizing brings in you, you can manifest anything you want.
- [45:37]
You know, I think probably most people who listen to this podcast just because, you know, it came from what sue created. And sue very much believes in everything you're saying and teaches that, but for people who are thinking like, I don't know, it's a little woo woo for me or whatever. If they it's not. I will say this is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy. Like, if you need something that's more like concrete or like more quote unquote.
- [46:03]
Logical, absolutely, I can give you some examples. I mean, whatever. I'm just saying. Yeah, that's general, but it can be applied to anything in any sphere of your life, whatever it is, relationship or your studio work, relationship with clients, your business, you know, that's just how it is.
- [46:21]
I remember back to what you were saying about money. I remember because I was on the journey of reframing my whole mindset and thought process and everything, and my husband was kind of like watching me go through it, and I was like pulling him along, kicking and screaming, like, nope, you're going through this with me. And at first he really struggled with money and wanting money. And I'm like, daniel, it's not about wanting money. Let's talk about the experiences you want, what brings you joy, what do you want to experience every day, and how do you want your life to look? And exactly what you said. Start acting like this is the life we're living as we're creating it. And it's so funny to see him many years later. And he said to me the other day, I have my next field of dreams. And he told me what he wants and he's building this, you know, anyways, it's. It's. Yeah, I don't want to necessarily say everything that he said, but, you know, it's kind of personal for him. But it's amazing to see that when it becomes daily practice and you just allow yourself to do it. It is amazing, the magic that happens.
- [47:34]
Yeah. I think Nick and I think SIU also talks a lot about it as just, you know, it all starts with the love with yourself, with your relationship with yourself. It all come. It starts with that, because without that, how can you love and give love to, you know, and receive love? And I feel like it's, you know, you have to allow yourself a luxury of being you. And I Always talk about it. I'll talk about it on my workshops. Like, you have to embrace your individuality. And, you know, it's just magical things are going to happen because you have to start with yourself. And by loving yourself, I'm not, like, meaning, okay, worshiping yourself or, like, you know, be, like, putting yourself on a pedestal and. You know what I mean? I'm just saying loving yourself is accepting of who you are with, you know, all little unique features that you have. And by doing this and by also allowing others to be themselves and embrace their individuality, that's how, you know, that's how everything is going to transform. It's going to. You know, when you love yourself, it translates in everything you do. How you handle situations, how you look, how you talk to your clients, you know, how you handle your photo shoot. And people sense that. They feel it, and they're going to love you back. They're going to love you back. They're going to love the experience. So when you don't love and you hate yourself and think you look awful, and you think you're not, you know, good enough, the people will sense it, too. So that's. Start with yourself. You want love? Love yourself. And, you know, I can give a little practical advice what have helped me to fall in love with myself. Because, you know, I. Yeah, I can. You know, I'm not gonna say I hate. No, I didn't. I kind of always knew I deserved better and good and. But I liked myself, but I didn't, like, love myself.
- [49:38]
Yeah, there's a difference.
- [49:39]
I know what you mean. My journey started when several years ago. I don't know, five years ago. I was asked. I couldn't attend a conference, and I was asked to do a recording of myself, to do, like, a little speech to the audience. And I set up the camera in my studio, my tripod, and I had to record myself just, you know, talking. Not only. I couldn't even say one sentence. It was extremely hard for me. And I'm, you know, I'm a little dyslexic, and it was very frustrating. But then I had to watch what I recorded, and it was hard.
- [50:24]
Yeah, I remember the first time I had to watch myself. It's hard.
- [50:28]
I forced myself to watch it. And it wasn't a love at first sight. Nikki, what I saw there, I was like, who is this girl? Like, why is she talking this way? What is she saying? Why her hands are moving like she has a double chin? Oh, my God. She has this annoying voice in this. What does she wear? Oh, my God. And I, okay, I decided to challenge myself and I decided to record my. Start recording myself regularly, like every few days or week. And then every time I would do a recording, I would advance. I would, you know, work on myself a little bit. I would remove the gestures that I hate or, you know, stop saying certain things. And I kind of progress. And then I try to start looking at the things that I really like instead of, you know, hate. And then little by little, by doing all these recordings and watching myself, you know, I started liking this girl. I was like, I like her. This girl is, I mean, yes, she has an accent. Yes, she forgets the words. She's a little clumsy, but she, she's funny. You know, she's kind. She can be cute when she, she smiles and, you know, she, I, I like her. I want to learn more about her. And that's how I really accepted myself. I started loving and obsessed with myself. And, you know, I'm not really afraid to say that. So I can give a little advice. I think, you know, photographers who. And I'm not saying take an iPhone, put like a bunny filter and put a phone above your head. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're going to set the camera. You know, as everybody has a camera, it has a video option, like set it on the tripod and just talk, have a little monologue or have somebody ask you questions and just. And then force yourself to watch. Don't delete it. Just watch it and you will be surprised.
- [52:19]
I love that advice. It's great. It's great advice for sure. Oh, man. Gosh. We're already, I'm like, we're already almost out of time. Well, I know you had mentioned that you have workshops because I know people want to learn more also about how you shoot and just see you shoot and all of that. And I know you have in person workshops and you also have a couple courses on the portrait master's website. On your own website. Is it lolamilaniacademy.com okay, Lola. Milaniacademy.com Tell people what you offer. How can people learn how you just create your beautiful portraits?
- [52:55]
Well, there are three ways to learn from me. And the first way is in person. So you can travel if you want and you can attend an in person workshop and be there at the studio and experience everything and shoot by my side and see basically the whole process. I share everything.
- [53:19]
Is that in New York or. You said you're in Florida.
- [53:21]
No, no, no. I am in Florida right now. So I yeah.
- [53:24]
Just wanted to make sure people knew that.
- [53:25]
Yeah. I have a studio in Fort Auto de. Or there are two parts of my online education. So you can go online either Portra Masters. I now offer three wonderful courses, my top selling courses on Portrait Masters, or, you know, have an Academy website, the same exact courses. And then you can learn online by courses. And also going to launch a platform that will be something more interactive. So I would be holding the calls with photographers supporting them, and they will be able to watch me create it monthly on a monthly basis. This is going to be amazing. Something I'm so excited about and working currently on. So there's three ways to learn and you can just decide what's. What's the best way for you.
- [54:12]
Awesome. Awesome. Well, I definitely encourage everyone listening to just check out your work. And. And you did. You're. Yeah. You also were at the Portrait Masters Conference. 2018. 2019.
- [54:24]
Yes.
- [54:25]
So we do have.
- [54:26]
I was only doing a speech in 2018.
- [54:29]
Nikki Klosser
That's right.
- [54:29]
Lola Melani
Sorry.
- [54:29]
If anybody. Yes. If anybody is interested to see the presentation and learn a little bit more about my work and my story and see the live shoot, please go watch that 2018 portrait masters.
- [54:44]
Yeah, that's on the portraitsystem.com on the website. If you're a member of the portrait system, you get to watch that. So that's.
- [54:51]
So you have to be a member.
- [54:52]
Yeah. And then in this Portrait Master store, we have your courses. Like, you just get. You just. I mean, you just have a really beautiful way of teaching and. And I appreciate that you're sharing everything and not keeping it secret.
- [55:04]
Thank you. Oh, no, there are no secret secrets. Trust me.
- [55:11]
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I. I have a couple more questions that I want to ask you. I mean, I have a million more questions. We'll have to do part two with Lola Milani because then we can talk about, you know, shooting and all that good stuff. But. Okay, we'll have to do that next year for sure. So I have four questions that I always ask at the end of each episode. And number one is, what is something you can't live without when you're doing a photo shoot?
- [55:36]
I can't live without Vlada.
- [55:38]
What was it? Water.
- [55:40]
Vlada, that's my assistant.
- [55:45]
Oh, I thought you said water. I was like, oh, well, yeah, same.
- [55:49]
I love water. I can. I can. I can live without water, but I can't live without Vlada. And. And yes. And it's just. Yeah, that's. That's what I can't live without.
- [56:03]
What is she like? How does she most contribute to your shoots?
- [56:07]
With her beautiful energy. And we just have fun. And we make every. Every photo shoot a fun experience that it doesn't feel like it's work. And that's. That's why I love working with her so much.
- [56:20]
Oh, that's so great.
- [56:22]
Yeah. And if you. If you're talking about in terms of equipment or something, is it.
- [56:29]
Yeah, no, I think it was fine. If you want to do another. If you want to say something else about equipment, that's totally fine too.
- [56:39]
No, Nikki, I really don't. I really don't know how to answer that.
- [56:43]
We can just stick with what you.
- [56:44]
Just really have to think about what else I can't live without.
- [56:49]
Well, actually, Lola, you know what? Instead of answering about equipment, why don't you answer, what do you shoot with? What camera do you have? And which lenses are your favorite?
- [57:00]
My camera is Canon 4. Gosh. Let me. Let me write. Let me look at it.
- [57:11]
I can't even talk.
- [57:13]
Canon 4 Mark. Mark 4.
- [57:17]
Mark 4.
- [57:18]
Mark 4. 5. Canon 5D, Mark IV. I'm sorry, guys. Okay.
- [57:23]
No, I love this. I love this. And I hope our editor keeps his part in, because here's why.
- [57:28]
Please do. Please.
- [57:28]
It does not. You do not need to have all the newest techies. Latest equipment, like nature.
- [57:35]
I don't. I really don't. I have to be honest with you. If I could just keep my iPhone4, I would, you know, if it just not stop working after two years, all.
- [57:49]
I need is just like.
- [57:50]
Like, that's all. I would just still be using that. I'm not, like, I'm not going into this rush after the equipment and technology. I. For right now, I'm happy. A camera takes beautiful photographs. I mean, it helps me to take beautiful photographs. That's all I need. And I'm happy with the quality.
- [58:08]
Totally.
- [58:09]
Yeah.
- [58:10]
I shot with the arc 4, the mark 4, for years and years, and then I just recently upgraded in December, and part of it was tax reason, I swear. That's why. Anyway, someone was like, what do you shoot with? And I was like, the Canon E6. And they're like, E6. Is that a something I haven't heard of? And I was like, oh, it just, you know, it's like a new mirrorless. And they're like, oh, you mean R6? And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally knew that. Oh, my God. I was like, yep. R, R, not E. I was like, oh, my God.
- [58:43]
It's pretty funny. Yes, yes.
- [58:45]
Anyway, and what. What lens do you tend to use the most. What focal length.
- [58:49]
I use two lenses Most, and my two. My two favorite lenses are 24 by. I'm just looking at 75, I believe.
- [59:01]
24.
- [59:01]
Seven. Oh, I'm sorry. 24 by 70. Yes. And the second one is 24 by 105. That's.
- [59:08]
Oh, nice. 24 to 105.
- [59:10]
Yeah.
- [59:11]
That's like a kit lens. That's what sue built her. It is business off.
- [59:14]
That's my very.
- [59:15]
I love this even more.
- [59:16]
That's my. That was my very first lens from 2008. I got that kit, and I still love it, and I still love that lens. And I built my whole fashion and then, you know, maternity portfolio with just that one lens.
- [59:32]
Oh, my gosh. If I didn't like you before, I, like, love you now.
- [59:37]
I love you back.
- [59:38]
You know, there's just something about, like, just not always needing the best and the most, and it's just like, I just. I love that. Yeah. Very cool. All right. I'm like, wait. I still have a couple more questions. Okay. Number two is, how do you spend your time when you're not working?
- [59:57]
When I'm not working, I am spending my time with my family, and that's the highest value for me right now. I went for tremendous value shift when I became a mom, and I believe you, too, as well. You realize once I gave birth to a second baby 11 months ago, I realized the time is even more valuable and you have even less time. So I became more structured, and I finally found that perfect balance of personal time and work that I've always struggled with before kids. Yes, because you always have all this time on your hands, and now you realize, oh, my God, you had so much time.
- [60:45]
It's amazing how much it can help.
- [60:47]
And you always complain to you. You never. You never have time. Now I barely have time, but I'm so structured. Like, I know I have to have me time. I have to have family time, and I commit to that, and I honor the time. So when I'm not working, I'm not working. Like, Sundays, disconnect days if you want to reach me. Good luck. I'm not even picking up the phone. I don't even know where my phone is. In. Somewhere in airplane mode.
- [61:11]
I love it. I love it.
- [61:12]
I don't pick up anything. Any electronic. It's just me connecting with my family, my kids, and that's what's most important to me.
- [61:21]
Yeah, I love that. It's so important. Boundaries are so important. I would die without having boundaries. Around work and personal time. I just. It's like a lifesaver. Absolute lifesaver. All right, number three. And I know you already said the beautiful Russian quote, but what is another one of your favorite quotes?
- [61:40]
I love this quote that says you will never succeed playing the game somebody loves more than you. I love this quote. I always think about it, you know, and that is so true. Like, when you try to do everything and you think that you need to do this because somebody's succeeding doing that and they're doing awesome, and. And then you just. You really don't have to do that. You will never succeed. You have to be. Stay true to yourself and really focus on doing what you love. And you can easily apply to photography. And I've been there. I try to. Everything. Everything.
- [62:20]
Yeah, yeah.
- [62:21]
Doing everything, shooting everything. Weddings, you know, people ask me, can you do babies photography? I'll do babies. I'll do families. I will travel there. I will do newborns. And now, Nikki, I, like, I stopped doing, like, I stopped doing newborn photography. Even though it was bringing me great income. I stopped because I. I have to play my game and be best at that. And I have to focus on what brings me joy, really what my soul wants. And that is not.
- [62:53]
Yes, yes, yes.
- [62:54]
I mean, I love it. No offense, but that is not newborn photography. Yes.
- [63:00]
Yeah, yeah. We all have our things, that's for sure. Yeah. Okay, last question is. What is. What would you tell people who are just starting out?
- [63:11]
I would say be you. I would say, don't look left or right on what everybody else is doing. Don't compare yourself. Don't try to be somebody who you think is great. Just embrace your individuality and your uniqueness. Be you and show it through your work. And things like competition is never going to apply to you because you will always be above that. You will be unstoppable if you create based on your own inspirations, not somebody else's. When you are being authentic, the sky is the limit. So be you and embrace that. I guess that would be what I would say.
- [64:11]
I love it. It's so important. Everything you just said is so crucial. This whole interview was amazing. I really appreciate it. I didn't realize that this was the direction we were going to take with this interview. And I'm just so. I just love.
- [64:24]
I'm so glad which direction you thought it's going to take.
- [64:28]
Well, I don't know. I think I didn't realize that we were going to go down the road of, like, just how to create this life. You love through your own thoughts and action taking. I just didn't, I didn't know that about you, you know, that you, that you were so passionate about it. And I love it. I could talk about this stuff all day long.
- [64:48]
Me too. Me too. We have to do another. Another talk. Yes.
- [64:54]
Yeah. Yeah. Sue and I talk about this stuff all the time. I mean, she and I just, even just as friends, you know, as friends, like just life in general. And it's to me has opened up my world to allow me to have everything that I do. Yeah, yeah. It's amazing.
- [65:15]
So thank you, Nathan.
- [65:16]
Well, thank you again. Will I see you at the, at the. I will see you at the conference, won't I?
- [65:21]
I don't know yet.
- [65:22]
No.
- [65:23]
Okay, we'll see. I hope so.
- [65:26]
I hope so, I hope so. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, if not, hopefully we'll see each other at some point in the near future.
- [65:33]
Absolutely. Yes. Yes. Nikki, thank you so much. It was lovely talking to you and have a wonderful, beautiful day.
- [65:42]
I will. You too.
- [65:43]
Nikki Klosser
Lola, thank you so much for listening to the Portrait System podcast. Your 5 star reviews really help us to continue what we do. So if you like listening, would you mind giving us a review wherever you listen? I also encourage you to head over to soubreiseducation.com where you can find all of the education you need to be a successful photographer. There are over 1000 on demand educational videos on things like posing, lighting, styling, retouching, shooting, marketing, sales, business and self value. There's also the 90 day startup challenge, plus so many downloads showing hundreds of different poses. We have to do checklists for your business, lighting, PDFs. I mean truly everything to help make you a better photographer and to make you more money. Once Again, that's Sue briceducation.com.