Summary of Podcast Episode 284: "Did the Pandemic Rewrite Our 20s?"

Podcast Title: The Psychology of Your 20s
Host: Jemma Sbeg
Release Date: March 19, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 284 of The Psychology of Your 20s, titled "Did the Pandemic Rewrite Our 20s?", host Jemma Sbeg delves deep into the profound and lasting impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic on individuals navigating their twenties. Drawing inspiration from a commemorative article marking five years since the pandemic's onset, Jemma explores the widespread feelings of stagnation, grief, and missed opportunities that have permeated this pivotal decade.

The Concept of the Pandemic Skip

Jemma introduces the term "pandemic skip", describing it as the sensation where one's mental age remains stuck younger than their chronological age due to the disruptions caused by the pandemic. This phenomenon encapsulates the feeling of having missed out on essential life experiences and developmental milestones that typically define one's twenties.

Jemma Sbeg [02:30]: "Pandemic skip refers to this sense that our mental age is a lot younger than our chronological age because the pandemic has caused us to miss out on very important life experiences that were essential for our development."

Psychological Explanations Behind the Pandemic Skip

1. Warped Sense of Time

One of the primary psychological effects of the pandemic has been a distorted perception of time. The prolonged uncertainty and lack of routine disrupted the natural markers that help delineate days, months, and years.

Jemma Sbeg [05:45]: "The pandemic also had the effect of really stripping away external markers of time... They disappeared, leading to what some psychologists call the Groundhog Day effect."

This Groundhog Day effect left many feeling as though time was a continuous blur, making it challenging to recall specific events or milestones distinctly.

2. Loss of Agency and Learned Helplessness

The pandemic eroded individuals' sense of control over their lives, a crucial factor in personal development during one's twenties. This diminished sense of agency can lead to learned helplessness, where individuals believe they have little power to change their circumstances.

Jemma Sbeg [15:20]: "The pandemic took away our sense of agency, making us feel powerless. This can create a psychological state known as learned helplessness."

3. Long-Term Grief and Disenfranchised Grief

Beyond the tangible losses, many experienced a form of grief for the experiences and opportunities they couldn't partake in. This disenfranchised grief—grief not openly acknowledged or socially validated—includes mourning the absence of travel, social events, and personal milestones.

Jemma Sbeg [22:10]: "We can grieve the things we missed out on at a really formative juncture in our life. It's about the loss of a potential experience that you were promised."

Missed Opportunities and Their Effects

The pandemic curtailed numerous opportunities that are typically integral to one's twenties:

• Travel and Exploration: Study abroad programs, solo trips, and cultural exchanges were largely put on hold.
• Social Milestones: Graduations, birthdays, and other rites of passage often took place virtually or without the usual fanfare.
• Career Development: Job markets became stagnant, internships were canceled, and career trajectories were interrupted.
• Personal Relationships: Dating opportunities dwindled, and many found themselves in prolonged or stagnant relationships due to lockdowns and social distancing.

These missed opportunities have fostered feelings of being "behind" peers, exacerbating anxiety and lowering life satisfaction among young adults.

Jemma Sbeg [30:55]: "We missed out on experiences, lost connections, and important milestones. All of these contribute to our current sense of being behind."

Coping Mechanisms and Recommendations

Jemma offers a suite of strategies to help listeners navigate the lingering effects of the pandemic skip:

1. Adopt a Stoic Mindset

Embracing stoicism involves acknowledging adverse circumstances without allowing them to dominate one's emotional landscape.

Jemma Sbeg [40:15]: "Adopt the principles of stoicism—acknowledging and observing your circumstances without letting them influence you deeper than necessary."

2. Create and Prioritize a Bucket List

Compiling a list of desired experiences can provide direction and a sense of purpose.

Jemma Sbeg [37:50]: "Create a bucket list of the things you really want to do in the next two years and commit to ticking them off."

3. Adjust Personal Goals

Reevaluating and modifying pre-pandemic goals ensures they remain attainable and relevant.

Jemma Sbeg [42:30]: "Rethink the goals you set for your 20s before the pandemic. Adjust them based on what has occurred without feeling like you've failed."

4. Embrace a Gap Year

If one feels the need to recalibrate, taking a gap year can provide the necessary space to recover and pursue missed experiences.

Jemma Sbeg [44:00]: "Take a gap year now. Who cares if you're 27 or 28? It's better to take it now than later."

5. Practice Gratitude and Mindfulness

Focusing on present moments and appreciating current experiences can mitigate feelings of loss and regret.

Jemma Sbeg [46:20]: "Balance feeling upset about the past with appreciating the present. Ensure you don't remain stuck in a cycle of delayed happiness."

Listener Questions and Responses

1. Is it valid to identify with a younger age because of pandemic skip?

Jemma affirms that it's entirely valid to feel younger than one's chronological age if it helps mitigate distress.

Jemma Sbeg [35:10]: "If telling yourself you're younger helps you cope, please go for it. Your feelings are valid."

2. Should I feel guilty for desiring that unstructured free time again?

She reassures listeners that desiring unstructured time is natural and highlights the importance of creativity and curiosity.

Jemma Sbeg [38:45]: "Don't feel guilty for wanting unstructured time. Embrace it as a time for creativity and personal growth."

3. What effect has the pandemic skip had on dating?

The pandemic has complicated dating dynamics, making it harder for individuals to commit or engage in casual relationships due to disrupted social interactions.

Jemma Sbeg [40:50]: "The pandemic has made dating more challenging, introducing mismatches in relationship readiness and expectations."

4. How do you come to terms with the fact that you missed out on the iconic chapter of your life?

Jemma encourages listeners to recognize that their twenties are not the sole defining decade and that life offers myriad opportunities beyond perceived "iconic" periods.

Jemma Sbeg [45:15]: "You haven't missed out on your entire decade—there's so much more time ahead to create meaningful experiences."

Conclusion

Jemma Sbeg concludes the episode by emphasizing resilience and the importance of not allowing the pandemic's aftermath to overshadow the potential of one's ongoing and future experiences. She urges listeners to embrace their unique timelines, prioritize meaningful moments, and cultivate a balanced perspective that honors both past grief and present joys.

Jemma Sbeg [47:30]: "Don't let the remnants of that emotional traumatic experience define the rest of the many, many brilliant years you have in front of you."

Listeners are encouraged to engage with the podcast community through social media, share their experiences, and seek support as they navigate the complexities of their twenties in a post-pandemic world.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "Pandemic skip refers to this sense that our mental age is a lot younger than our chronological age..." — Jemma Sbeg [02:30]
• "The pandemic also had the effect of really stripping away external markers of time..." — Jemma Sbeg [05:45]
• "Adopt the principles of stoicism..." — Jemma Sbeg [40:15]
• "Don't feel guilty for wanting unstructured time..." — Jemma Sbeg [38:45]
• "You haven't missed out on your entire decade..." — Jemma Sbeg [45:15]

This episode offers a comprehensive exploration of how the COVID-19 pandemic has reshaped the experiences of those in their twenties, providing both psychological insights and practical advice for overcoming the lingering effects of this unprecedented global event.