← The Psychology of your 20s
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- [00:00]
Gemma
This is an I Heart Podcast.
- [00:04]
Danielle
Hello my lovely listeners. By now you know the more knowledge we have about ourselves and the way our bodies work, the more empowered and in control we are. And this is also true when it comes to our sexual health and what to do after unprotected sex. That's where Plan B comes in. It's emergency contraception with no age requirement that helps prevent pregnancy before it starts. And because it works by only temporarily delaying ovulation, it won't impact your ability to get pregnant in the future. We love a backup plan that puts us in control because the more we know, the more power we have. Learn more@planb1step.com users directed have you ever.
- [00:44]
Tom
Felt that uneasy anxiety when the 4pm hour strikes? Like the creeping meal related distress that happens when you don't quite feel prepared? You know the dinner dread? Let's get rid of that unpleasant feeling forever with one word. Stouffer's. No matter what happens, you'll have a dinner plan that everyone loves with Stouffers, some chicken enchiladas or a cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta. Bake is always welcome, whether it's Plan A or Plan Delicious. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's. Shop now for family favorites.
- [01:22]
Malcolm
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- [01:42]
Gemma
Flight to Mexico now boarding. Oh, that's me.
- [01:45]
Malcolm
That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms apply. For more information visit american express.com with Amex.
- [01:51]
Tom
I truly don't think I have ever had as many events as I do right now and N Shower cream has been not just a lifesaver but a time saver a saver as well. Because I don't know about you, I just can't be bothered with shaving anymore, especially as I've been trying to move house and do a million other things. Nair is the number one hair removal brand and their body and shower creams. Firstly, they actually smell delicious whilst working so well to get rid of all of my hair. When I'm tight on time, I use the shower cream infused with coconut oil and it's also so gentle on my skin. I feel so silky afterwards and it's free of dyes, parabens, phthalates and sulfates. So get ready for Summer Buy now at all major retailers. Hello everybody and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s. The podcast where we talk through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology.
- [02:55]
Gemma
Hello, everybody.
- [02:56]
Tom
Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world, it is so great to have you here back for another episode.
- [03:06]
Gemma
As we of course break down the psychology of our 20s.
- [03:12]
Tom
It's a bit of a different episode today.
- [03:14]
Gemma
It's a chit chat, catch up with me kind of episode because it's kind.
- [03:20]
Tom
Of been a while since I've just popped myself in front of the microphone and talked about my life, Gemma's life.
- [03:28]
Gemma
What'S been happening, what's been happening behind the scenes of the psychology of your 20s. I always feel a little bit weird doing these life updates, doing these like.
- [03:41]
Tom
Chatty episodes because I feel like that's.
- [03:45]
Danielle
Not what you're really here for.
- [03:47]
Gemma
Perhaps I feel like you expect more from me sometimes. Like you expect the fully researched, fully fleshed out episodes and not delivering on that is like not delivering on a promise. And people are going to be disappointed that it's just me and my personality and no science. But I'm trying to get over that a little bit. I also just think that that's my toxic productivity. You know, I released two episodes a week. One of them, every now and again, can just be me getting to talk about myself and my learnings and how my beliefs and my life is changing. I'm actually reading this book right now called the Ambition Trap. I cannot remember who it's by, but it's called the Ambition Trap and it's.
- [04:33]
Tom
Completely like fundamentally changed how I'm viewing.
- [04:36]
Gemma
Work and productivity, specifically how I'm viewing perfection and allowing myself to make mistakes, and not even make mistakes, but allowing myself to have fun with my job.
- [04:50]
Tom
And to have fun with my life.
- [04:53]
Gemma
And something I'm really aiming for at.
- [04:55]
Tom
The moment is trying to measure my.
- [04:57]
Gemma
Life more by how I feel, what I can do for others, whether I feel creative, whether I'm patient, whether I have the capacity for patience and the capacity for kindness, and how I'm taking care of myself. And this is kind of an effort to do that, to just sit down and talk rather than feel like I owe people something. So anyways, long winded way of saying hello, welcome. Today we're going to talk about what's been going on in my life. You may remember maybe almost a year ago, I would say seven months, I did another little Chatty episode, what's been going on with me. And it was very, very different to what I normally talk about. It was me essentially giving you the details and my mental breakdown, let's call it what it is, it was a mental breakdown. I was in such a dark and raw place, and I was honestly so deeply detached from who I am, and I felt so awful and detached from the world and from reality, and I was just a complete mess. And I feel like I kind of released that episode. I felt very brave doing it. And then I just went back to, like, my regularly scheduled programming, and I didn't really acknowledge it again, probably because so much happened afterwards. You know, I announced my book probably a month or two after I released that episode. So then I just got so caught up in, you know, promoting Person in Progress. Then I launched my new podcast, Mantra. So then I got so caught up in launching Mantra because I love it and because it's incredible. And then the book came out, and then I had to promote the book coming out. And from the outside, you would definitely have this perception, or maybe not, but I think that there would be this perception that this last year of my life has been, like, amazing and incredible, and I must be on such a high, and I'm not really.
- [07:08]
Tom
There's definitely elements of it in which.
- [07:10]
Gemma
I'm very happy and. And in which my life is getting exceedingly better. But there has been a lot of misery, I guess, a lot of silent struggling, like, behind the scenes that, you know, what we need to talk about. Because what you see online isn't real. What you hear on podcasts isn't always real. What you think about someone else's life isn't real. And as much as I love talking about our 20s and I love talking about psychology, I think my real passion is just talking about the vulnerable things that make us human. And part of that is being open, just sitting here and saying, hey, like, there has been some things I've been really. That have been really hard in my life recently, and you wouldn't have any clue. So let's talk about it despite all of that, and I will obviously give you updates on what I'm talking about. Life is slowly getting really, really good, and I feel like I've had some really incredible epiphanies and mindset shifts and just, like, radical. I've just experienced some radical acceptance about unchangeable things in life. And when you have those kinds of radical moments and transformative moments, like, you just kind of want to scream it from the rooftop and Just say to people, like, it gets better. Like, it's going to get better. I've had a really tough year. I felt very ungrateful and guilty for not being able to enjoy my moments as much as I wish I had been able to. But throughout it all, like, there are some really incredible learnings that I think are life changing for me. So that's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about why sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better. What it means to struggle, what it means to thrive, what it means to be freaking human. Without further ado, let's get into a little life update. So behind the scenes of the podcast at the moment, I have been going through it and I've been really building, like, this very whole new deep belief system. I feel like the reason I had.
- [09:13]
Tom
This mental breakdown last year was quite.
- [09:15]
Gemma
Existential for those of you who don't know. Like, when I was growing up, I used to be. I used to have a really deep faith. My family was not religious. We never went to church. They were about as atheist as it comes. But for some reason, I always really.
- [09:32]
Tom
Felt called into, like, organized religion.
- [09:34]
Gemma
And so, like, for a lot of my teen years and like, definitely just my late teen years, maybe like the first year of my 20s, like, I always felt this, like, real higher calling and the sense of, like, meaning in.
- [09:45]
Tom
Life that was attached to religion.
- [09:46]
Gemma
And then I don't think I've ever talked about this, but I went through something. I don't want to call it traumatic, but just, like, really frustrating and disturbing with the church that I was in, involving someone I was dating. And I just never went back. Like, I was just like, no, I just can't do this anymore. Like, I just. It just completely, like, broke my belief structure. And then for a while there was just kind of like this abyss. There was just this hole, I guess, like, in my soul where I. All these big questions that faith really filled for me. Like, I didn't have answers to. Like, what are we here for? What's the meaning of love? Is this a hostile or a loving universe? Like, what does fairness mean?
- [10:30]
Tom
What does justice mean?
- [10:31]
Gemma
Like, I didn't really have answers for those things. And I feel like that all kind of came to a head last year when I was like, oh, I really don't have answers for these things. And that's actually really scary. And I have to kind of figure out what I want to believe in, and I have to figure out what I see my place in this World is like, through my own means and through spirituality, through science, through philosophy, whatever it was that was going to guide me there. And there were some other things going on as well. And it really pushed me to such a low place just thinking about the absurdity of the world and what I really learned through that. And I honestly feel like the last month has been the first time that I've really come out of it. And since, like, it happened last year, like, it's this last month, I've really been having, like, a moment of, like, oh, my God, like, I'm getting things now and, like, I'm happy and wow, like, life is beautiful. And I feel like I'm such an optimistic person that I spent so much of last year and the start of this year feeling like life was defined.
- [11:32]
Tom
By misery and suffering.
- [11:34]
Gemma
And I've finally been able to appreciate, like, the miracle of existence. And that's like, something that I really value as such an optimistic person. I have to see the good in the world. So I'm glad that that is coming back to me. But what it's really reminded me of is, like, it's just continually reminded me that it's always darkest before the dawn, that sometimes true growth does come from suffering, and that you can endure so much more than you think you can. And I remember, like, hearing people say that and being like, what are you talking about? Like, what are you on about? And then, like, the mental kind of.
- [12:12]
Tom
Battle that I've been through has just.
- [12:14]
Gemma
Proven that to me time and time again, like, strong I am, how resilient I am. I also want to talk about some other things that have been happening. So I haven't talked about this at all, but right before my book was launched, I went into the optometrist Random. I needed to get new glasses. And when I was at the optometrist, they, like, found something really scary on my. What's it called?
- [12:42]
Tom
Optical nerve.
- [12:43]
Gemma
Optic nerve. Sorry. And I was in just, like, a regular schedule, regularly scheduled, like, eye appointment. And this optometrist, like, was looking at these, like, retinal images that I had gotten done. And it was so random that I gotten them done. I wasn't paying attention. And the person at the front desk was like, oh, do you want these done? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was like, oh, do I really want those done? But I already said yes. So she was looking at these photos and she was. She basically was like, oh, you have. I'm not going to say what it. It is, or maybe I will. Like, basically, it was like that. It's swelling and it's all around the optic nerve, which is a really, really bad sign. And within, like, 20, I think, like, 48 hours, I was, like, at a specialist doing all these tests. The things they had to rule out were really scary. They had to rule out ms, they had to rule out a brain tumor. They had to rule out all these really scary things that I wasn't having a stroke within 48 hours. Like, it was like, oh, this huge thing is happening with my vision, with my brain. Like, that's so scary. And I was in, like, the ophthalmologist's office 48 hours after I found out I had this thing that I literally don't know, knew nothing about. And I remember I, like, kept my cool, and then suddenly they were dilating my pupil, which I don't know if you've ever had this happen, but they put stuff in your eye that makes your pupil go huge, and then you can't see for, like, the next four hours. And I was sitting there and I was like, and why does. They were putting it in my eye? I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, this is. Something huge is happening to me. Like, this is really scary, and I've only just started processing it. So they're trying to put these, like, drops in my eye, and I'm, like, crying, and I'm, like, hysterical, and, like, my boyfriend's there being like, I know. It's so scary. And anyways, the thing is, is that I still don't have any answers around what's going on. This was literally. I'm trying to get the timeline right. Like, very. Like, within weeks of before my book was launching, before my book was coming out. And suddenly it was just like, oh, my God, what is happening? And we're still trying to figure it out. Just having to get all these tests done, having to get all these MRIs, having to get all these. This bl. And it's been really, really scary. And the thing is, is that that was. That was life getting worse. Like, I had all this other stuff going on, and then it was like. And bam. Health scare. And, you know, and bam. Like, life is fragile. Like, just in case you needed that reminder. And it was incredibly stressful. Like, I'm laughing about it now, even though, like, I think now that I know I don't have, like, a significant brain tumor, and now that I definitely know that I wasn't having a stroke, I can laugh. Like, it was kind of touch and go there. And Actually, like, the optometrist, like, called me after I'd left because she'd been like, oh, just go to the doctor eventually. And then she called me like, six times and was like, hey, like, this is actually an emergency. So that was scary. Now I feel fine. And I feel like that was really the low point. I also had some people asking me, like, how was my mental health leading up to my book coming out? And I. So you guys might know, I tried to go off my medication. I'm on Lexapro. I tried to go off last year, and it didn't go very, very well. Unfortunately, this year I have actually tapered down to 10 milligrams. And I, like, this is not medical advice. I just like to talk openly about dosages and everything because just might be helpful to you. And I feel like I need it less and less. But it is such a safety net for me.
- [16:32]
Tom
Right?
- [16:32]
Gemma
Like, I need. I was gonna say, I know I could never get to a really low point, but obviously I could, but that was when I wasn't taking it. It's just a nice safety net for me. It's just like, okay, I know that my depression and my anxiety is biological. I know that I exercise like four to five times a week. I eat really well. I spend a lot of time outdoors. I have loving family, social connection. I have a purposeful career. I'm safe. I have all my needs met and then some. I'm able to give back. Like, I'm doing all the things that people say are externally protective against depression and anxiety. And, you know, I'm doing all the. The behavioral interventions that people always sigh as helping, and they didn't work. So I know that it's biological. And I think just having this kind of intervention has been really, really useful. So that's kind of like a medication update. But, yeah, leading up to my book coming out, I was struggling. Not just because I had that health scare thing, which was significant, but because a lot of other big changes were happening in my life. I had to move house the day before my book came out as well, which was just like two huge things happening at once. And also something they may not tell you about writing a book is that.
- [17:58]
Tom
It'S quite anticlimact tactic, right?
- [17:59]
Gemma
So you do a lot of work. It takes so many hours and so.
- [18:05]
Danielle
Much of you to write a book.
- [18:07]
Gemma
And then it all, like, comes to fruition on, like, one day, and then after that, like, it. It's so weird. Like, you don't really hear from a lot of the people that you've worked with, like, you're suddenly just kind of on your own, and you're suddenly just like, okay, I have to do. I'm just on my own. Like, this is. This. This book is here. And, you know, it's open. It's open for public opinion, and you need people to buy it, and you don't really know how to do that. And you also, like, will face disappointments in terms of people in your life not supporting you and people in your life. Yeah. Not really showing up for you in a big moment and not buying copies or, you know, not saying congratulations or, like, small things. I was saying to someone the other day, like. Like, you know, they. The quote that's like, you know who your real friends are when you have a baby. You also know who your real friends are when you write a book, because, I don't know, I feel like I'm the kind of friend where people do cool things like that. I'm, like, really all behind it. And it was interesting seeing how big things for you don't necessarily translate to big things for other people. So I think if I had been in a better mental state and hadn't had a big health scare right before my book came out, I would have been able to let those things go a little bit better. But it was a real struggle. Struggle. So there was, like, a weird low point, high point where I was like, wow, huge career milestone. Also, like, oh, my God, what is going on in my life? This is when I want to talk about how things get better. Like, the theme of this episode is things get worse before they get better. Things could have gotten a whole lot worse for me. Let's be completely real. Like, honestly, what I was going through is nothing compared to what so many people around the world are going through right now. But things got worse. And then slowly, these changes started in my life, and I felt like I had been in this waiting room. I felt like I had gone through, like, the dark night of the soul, as they call it, and suddenly someone, like, opened the door and was like, all right, cool. You've, like, done enough. Like, you've sat here for long enough. We can tell. You can take it. Welcome to the next chapter of your life. And I want to. To spend the next part of this episode talking about what that felt like and how grateful I am for where I am now and what. What it is that I'm grateful for. So stick around. Stay with me. I want to tell you why it always gets better.
- [20:37]
Danielle
Hello, my lovely listeners, by now you know, the more knowledge we have about ourselves and the way our bodies work, the more empowered and in control we are. And this is also true when it comes to our sexual health and what to do after unprotected sex. That's where Plan B comes in. It's emergency contraception with no age requirement that helps prevent pregnancy before it starts. And because it works by only temporarily delaying ovulation, it won't impact your ability to get pregnant in the future. We love a backup plan that puts us in control because the more we know, the more power we have. Learn more@planb1step.com users directed My Life has.
- [21:17]
Tom
Been chaotic recently, to say the least. And with so many events going on at the moment, my friends, weddings, my book tour, I'm also moving house. The last thing I have time for is shaving. That is where Nair's shower cream comes in because it saves me so much time. And bonus, it also smells delicious. Nair is the number one hair removal brand, so you know their stuff works. And their hair removal shower cream uses natural extracts for its scents. So things like coconut oil, almond oil, lavender, they smell delicious. It's fast, like the length of your shower fast, maybe even quicker. And it's super easy to use as well. It's also, and this is a big thing for me, free of dyes, parabens, phthalates, sulfates, and dermatologists tested which, which is probably why it leaves my skin feeling so insanely silky. Here's the other reason I've been really over shaving. I hate when I end up like cutting or nicking my skin and I also feel like I end up missing spots anyway.
- [22:25]
Gemma
So I'm kind of like, what's the.
- [22:26]
Tom
Whole point of this? But with Nair's shower cream, I have never had that problem. I just need you to try it out for yourself. My friends were actually over the other day and I had some in my shower and they were like, what is this? And they tried it out almost as.
- [22:41]
Gemma
A joke, but I'm fairly sure all.
- [22:43]
Tom
Of them left with that on their shopping list because that stuff works. Nez Hair Removal Shower cream. Get ready for summer. You can buy it now at all major retailers.
- [22:58]
Brian
Malcolm Gladwell here. I recently recorded the first episode of Smart Talks with IBM where I learned how AI agents are joining AI assistants as a major productivity tool. Let's start with AI agents. AI agents can reason, plan and collaborate with other AI tools to autonomously perform tasks for a user. Brian Bitzel, an expert from IBM, gave me an example of how A college freshman might use an AI agent as.
- [23:26]
Sarah
A new student, you may not know, how do I deal with my health and wellness issue? How many credits am I going to get for this given class? You could talk to someone and find out some of that, but maybe it's a little bit sensitive and you don't.
- [23:37]
Brian
Want to do that. Bissell told me you could build an AI agent, a resource for new students that helps them navigate a new campus, register for classes, access the services they need, and even schedule appointments on their behalf, which in turn buys them more time to focus on their actual schoolwork.
- [23:55]
Sarah
We can see patterns of how agents and assistants can help employees and customers and end users be more productive, automate workflows so they're not doing certain types of repetitive work over and over again and streamlining their lives and making data more accessible to them 24 hours a day.
- [24:16]
Brian
To learn more about IBM's AI agents and how they can help your business, visit IBM.comagents.
- [24:26]
Tom
Everybody has been here. Traffic was a nightmare. You get home late and your dinner plans are out the window. When you hear the inevitable tiny voice saying, I'm hungry, that's when dinner dread sets in. What are you going to make tonight? How can such a simple question be so hard to answer? Well, it doesn't have to be, because a delicious, family pleasing meal from Stouffer's is only a ding away. So if your dinner plans are derailed, don't worry. Just turn to a delicious solution from chauffeurs, a meal that will always leave everyone happy, especially you. Maybe some chicken enchiladas. Spaghetti with meat sauce is obviously always a winner. Or how about some cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake?
- [25:12]
Gemma
Yes, please.
- [25:15]
Tom
When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's shop now for family favorites.
- [25:22]
Gemma
So this was the first thing that transformed my life and has gotten me out of a very dark period. I fostered a dog. And you guys might know that that foster is no longer my foster dog. It's now my actual dog. But I started out fostering this dog. Her name is Talu, because I saw her on the RSPCA website and I.
- [25:50]
Tom
Just don't know what it was.
- [25:51]
Gemma
I was like, I need to help this dog.
- [25:53]
Tom
I need her in my life.
- [25:55]
Gemma
Like, I have space, I have capacity, I have time, I have. Well, my house at the time did not allow dogs, but whatever, I got around that. Like, I just felt this calling to go and rescue her. And we brought her home and within like two days, me and my partner Tom were Like, oh, like, really, really screwed up here, because this dog is this the biggest sweetheart. She is so smart. She is so kind. She just so wants to be loved, and she just so wants to be part of the pack. And we said to each other, we have to. We have to give it three months before deciding. And if nobody has adopted her in three months, we can consider it. That did not last very long. We adopted her after a month. And there's just something around having a dog that changes your perspective. It makes you so much more selfless.
- [26:56]
Tom
It makes you more patient.
- [26:57]
Gemma
You see life through it, through their eyes. I feel like I'm rehashing what so many other people have discovered, but, oh, my Lord, it was just so glorious. Get, like, waking. Like, every single morning I wake up and I have to take her outside and I have to take her for a walk, and it's meant that I'm outdoors more and I. And I have to do these things for her even if I don't want to, even if I'm busy, even if I'm in a bad mood. Life has become about her. And honestly, I think that it was the. Just not the distraction, but I think it was the thing I needed to get myself out of my ego. Like, I feel like I was really investing in this, like, idea of myself as, like. Like being. Being, like, suffering. And I was like, life is really hard and I'm trying my best and it's not working. And then I rescued her, and her history is so terrible. Like, she, yeah, was really badly abused and then was removed, like, was forcibly removed. Like, someone came in and rescued her. And then the people who they rescued her from, like, took. Took the RSPCA to court and wanted to get her back. And, like, so that meant she had.
- [28:04]
Tom
To stay in the pound for a.
- [28:05]
Gemma
Year before she was even allowed out.
- [28:08]
Tom
Of the pound and do visits and stuff.
- [28:10]
Gemma
And I don't know, I was just like, wow, my life could be so much worse.
- [28:14]
Tom
And here is this beautiful animal, this.
- [28:15]
Gemma
Beautiful creature who, you know, has a burn on her nose and is missing teeth and had such a hard start.
- [28:21]
Tom
And she freaking loves life.
- [28:23]
Gemma
And she is, like, down to play. And every moment that she is allowed, like, to roll around in the grass.
- [28:28]
Tom
Is a beautiful moment. And breakfast is the best thing of every day.
- [28:31]
Gemma
And she wakes up and gets 20 minutes of cuddles in the bed because, of course, we're such softies, we allow.
- [28:37]
Tom
Her in the bed.
- [28:37]
Gemma
And it's just really transformative. And now I keep saying to people, like, if you Struggle with socializing. If you struggle with feeling optimistic about.
- [28:46]
Tom
Life, if you struggle to see the.
- [28:48]
Gemma
Joy in little things, foster a dog. If you can't adopt a dog, foster a dog, or adopt a dog and just see how it completely changes your life. Obviously, like, make sure that you are in a good space. Like, I feel like we didn't rush into it. We were really concentrated around, like, can we have a pet right now? And it just happened to work out. But the introduction of her into my life, I honestly feel like, was a gift from the universe. Then I started seeing a new therapist, and that was also incredible because I feel like I was getting really stuck with my old therapist. She was amazing, but I just felt like I had reached. It sounds weird. I reached what I was willing to share with her, and I was so, like, deeply worried about being triggered, actually, and about. About a therapist saying something that I hadn't considered and really upsetting me that I wasn't revealing anything more to her. And I feel. I felt like, because I hadn't revealed things to her in the past, that she would, like, call me out for almost lying, like, saying that I was okay when I wasn't. So I needed a fresh slate. And so I went and I started seeing a new therapist, an existential therapist who was. Has just been freaking amazing and has really just revealed to me how so much of what I struggle with is just a fear of the unknown. And so much of what I struggle with is just. Just. Just my brain working differently. And I also have started running. I just. I'm just gonna leave that there. I felt like my life was becoming very much an obsession with work and an obsession with how much more I could do. You know, I was doing. I'm still doing the psychology of your 20s. I was also doing Mantra, my other podcast, where there were more spiritual discussions going on. And I love them both so much. But. But it is a lot to put your brain into. Like, it is a lot of mental energy to create two things that you really love and promote a book and do all these other activities as well. And I needed something else. And so my friend Sarah, I was at the park one day and she was running, and I ran into her, and she was like, do you just want to run with me for a little bit? And I was like, yeah, okay, I'll do that. Ever since then, I've got the bug. I've got the freaking bug. And I've been posting about it on my personal Instagram a lot. And you guys have been like, what the Heck, how come you are suddenly running 15km when you used to say you hated running? It's because I've been going slow. I've been going super slow. I started at like, I started at a pace that was probably like a walk or a jog and now I feel like I'm actually running. And I feel like through running as well, I've also been really testing my limits. I've been testing my ability to persevere and to endure. And I've showed myself how strong I am and I've taught myself patience and I've taught myself like consistency. There's just all these discoveries that I'm having around the meaning of life that, that I'm figuring out through such simple acts, through moving my body in a way that so many other people have done for centuries, through sharing a bond with an animal, through connecting with people, through having new discussions and, and I just finally feel like I'm out of this really dark cloud also.
- [32:06]
Tom
It's just been so wonderful to see.
- [32:09]
Gemma
How many of you have been reading my book and how many of you are relating and resonating with it. I think it's been a while since I've really appreciated that I'm doing meaningful work. I think that I can be a little bit too self deprecating. Tell me if you're the same where I'm like, if I acknowledge that I'm good at what I do or that I care about what I do, or that maybe I have something to say, people are going to immediately cut me down for that, or that's entitlement, or it will be taken away from me. The moment that you feel, I guess, not grateful, but the moment that you take something for granted or that you assume that you're good at something, or you assume that something is safe, it will be up in the air. And I just have been reminded that that's not the case, that there are people who really want you to succeed and that it's okay to just say like, I'm good at this thing and I care about this and I put a lot of work into it and I'm proud of it. That's not bragging. That's not even a humble brag.
- [33:14]
Tom
That's just talking about the thing that you care about.
- [33:17]
Gemma
I think all of this is just to say that I'm learning so much and I'm constantly being reminded that there is a lot of darkness in the world and life is really painful sometimes, but you will come out on the other side and that you have handled it all.
- [33:36]
Tom
I'm grateful for the fact that this.
- [33:39]
Gemma
Last year hasn't been amazing internally, because every single day now that I wake up and I feel good, it's this.
- [33:46]
Tom
Weird thing of like, oh, my gosh, like, wow, what a great day.
- [33:49]
Gemma
What a great day. I've been having just like incredible days and. And I don't know how to express it, but I guess the whole purpose of this was just really to give you a story that makes you feel optimistic about your future and just to give you the story of the last year of my life that makes you.
- [34:13]
Tom
Feel that if you are going through.
- [34:14]
Gemma
Something similar, you don't feel like you're always going to be here. And maybe you've heard that a million times before. Maybe you've heard the sentiment, life gets worse before, it gets better. It's not always going to last. Time heals a million times over. But I think when there's a personal story attached to it, it really gives us hope. And when I was going through it.
- [34:37]
Tom
I guess I'm still on the tail.
- [34:38]
Gemma
End of going through it. I just wanted to hear stories of people having hard times and persevering and knowing that you can change your mindset, you can change the way you think about your problems, you can get yourself unstuck. You will see a better day. You will have hope again, you will have belief again. And I don't know, it's just been a really, really nice feeling. And as I'm recording this, I am about to go to Fiji with my mom and with my auntie and with.
- [35:10]
Tom
My cousin for our girls trip.
- [35:12]
Gemma
And this time last year. I was in Bali for our girls trip last year and. And I spent that whole trip basically crying and having panic attacks and just feeling so awful and so heavy and uncomfortable in my brain. And now I'm going into this trip, one year later, feeling not amazing, but.
- [35:37]
Tom
Pretty remarkable and feeling transformed and feeling.
- [35:39]
Gemma
Like I've kind of. I don't know, I. I've. I've kind of built a new part of my armor. I don't know, it sounds like cliches and cheesy, but that's really what I wanted to talk about today. And thank you so much to you guys for supporting me.
- [35:54]
Tom
I don't know if you've even noticed.
- [35:55]
Gemma
If anything's been different. Maybe you've noticed some more, like, existential themes in recent episodes, but that's really where it's coming from. And I'm hoping that I get a clean bill of health very, very soon or that at least I have an answer as to what's going on in my freaking brain and with my freaking eyeball. But I'm optimistic and I feel like life is good. I feel good. Take the good days. Love one another.
- [36:23]
Tom
Foster a dog.
- [36:24]
Gemma
There you go. That's my life advice. But until next time, make sure you are following me on Instagram at that psychology podcast. Thanks for sticking around for this life update. Tell me how you're going in the comments. Make this a two way straight. I feel like I know just dumped a lot of information on you if you've made it this far. Wow. Thank you for enduring all of that. And also, yeah, I want to hear what's been happening with you as well. How are we feeling out of town? What's the emoji that best represents your life right now? Make sure you are following along. Make sure that you have left us.
- [36:56]
Tom
A five star review if you feel.
- [36:57]
Gemma
Called to do so.
- [36:59]
Tom
And remember to take care of yourself.
- [37:01]
Gemma
Remember life gets better. Remember it is all it's not always meant to be great and it's not always going to be great, but it's always going to end up amazing. Until next time, stay safe.
- [37:11]
Danielle
Be kind.
- [37:11]
Gemma
Be gentle to yourself.
- [37:13]
Tom
We will talk very, very soon.
- [37:20]
Danielle
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- [37:59]
Tom
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- [38:36]
Danielle Fishel
Hi, I'm Danielle Fishel from POD meets world. So for my two boys I got Samsung Galaxy Watch for kids. And I'm not saying I'm kind of jealous of my kids tech. I'm saying I am definitely jealous of my child's tech. This thing lets them call, text, text and explore all from their wrist. No smartphone required. And don't worry, you're still the boss. You control who they can talk to and yes, you can totally stalk their location in real time. Get Galaxy Watch 7 on T mobile now Kid ready with a new paired line? Visit t mobile.com to order yours today. Parent and child must have a Samsung account and Google account with family link requires initial pairing with a compatible Samsung smartphone and qualifying wireless plan with LTE service activated. Please check with your carrier for more information. Trusted contact applies to compatible it does not restrict communication through third party or other communication apps. Emergency services and contacts remain accessible. Location sharing is dependent on network connectivity and device being recently active. T Mobile terms via 24 monthly bill credits when you add a qualifying paired watch line see additional Offer terms on.
- [39:35]
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- [40:09]
Gemma
This is an Iheart podcast.