← The Psychology of your 20s
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- [00:00]
Unknown Host
This is an I Heart Podcast. Hello my lovely listeners. By now you know the more knowledge we have about ourselves and the way our bodies work, the more empowered and in control we are. And this is also true when it comes to our sexual health and what to do after unprotected sex. That's where Plan B comes in. It's emergency contraception with no age requirement that helps prevent pregnancy before it starts. And because it works by only temporarily delaying ovulation, it won't impact your ability to get pregnant in the future. We love a backup plan that puts us in control because the more we know, the more power we have. Learn more@planb1step.com users directed. You might not be thinking much about insurance right now, but let's get real for a second. Life can be unpredictable and that's why having the right insurance coverage matters. Aflac understands this. If you're sick or injured, Aflac can pay cash to help with expenses health insurance doesn't cover, whether that be co pays, deductibles, even non medical expenses like groceries or rent. Think of it as a financial safety net that's there to help when you need it most so that you can focus more on getting back to living your best life. To learn more, visit aflac.com today. I truly don't think I have ever had as many events as I do right now and N's Shower cream has been not just a lifesaver but a time saver as well. Because I don't know about you, I just can't be bothered with shaving anymore. Especially as I've been trying to move house and do a million other things. Nice is the number one hair removal brand and their body and shower creams. Firstly they actually smell delicious whilst working so well to get rid of all of my hair. When I'm tight on time I use the shower cream infused with coconut oil and it's also so gentle on my skin. I feel so silky afterwards. And it's free of dyes, parabens, phthalates and sulfates. So get ready for summer buy now at all major retailers. Please welcome aboard the Johnson Family.
- [02:02]
Tony Robbins
The whole fam's here for the Disney Cruise. So you know we came to play and listen the adults are gonna have a ball. First we're chilling in the infinity pool onto massages at Sense's spa. Then gliding into Star Wars Hyperspace Lounge for a toast. We're even gonna kick back with Mickey on Disney's private island. That's how we get down cause Disney Cruise Line is where we came to play.
- [02:34]
Unknown Host
Hello everybody and welcome back to the psychology of your TW20s, the podcast where we talk through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world, it is so great to have you here back for another episode as we of course break down the psychology of our 20s. It has been a beautiful week for me. I am back from my mother daughter trip to Fiji. I feel refreshed, I feel really motivated. I feel good. I literally had the best time with my mum. She is so much fun. So I feel like I'm back right in time to dive into work. Like I had enough time away to feel excited about coming back. And you know, speaking of work, work is actually the subject of today's episode, specifically the signs that you may not be aware of or may be ignoring that your career is not right for you. Not just not right for you, but deeply dissatisfying, deeply unfulfilling, deeply unrewarding, and perhaps you just haven't even realized it yet. These are specifically signs that I wish someone had told me when I was feeling pretty low about my previous job and I was trying so hard to make it work. And now I can acknowledge that all those things I was feeling were actually indicative that this career was just not right for me. When I look back, you know, I wish I had made a change earlier. I wish that my decision, paralysis and fear of the unknown hadn't kept me in unhappy places for longer than I needed to be in them. And so I'm taking some of that wisdom, some of the things that I learned, as well as some of the tips and some of the psychology to really help you guys figure out whether what you're experiencing right now is just a bad week or a deeper dissatisfaction with what you are doing. But more importantly, the kind of warning signs that you are becoming stagnant or stuck when you know that you are not happy. Basically, how do we make a change in our career and in our lives and have the bravery and the courage to try something new before we feel further weighed down by time and money and the education and the years that we've invested into a job or a profession that you know simply isn't right for us? Work is really important. Doing something you care about doesn't have to be aspirational, even in this current job market. And I want to really share how you can choose something that feels more aligned without feeling boxed in by this very notorious and incorrect idea of a dream job. I also want to talk about when you know it's really time to quit, even if maybe you don't have anything else lined up. And also some of the surprising ways that hating your job shows up in all other dimensions of your life that you may or may not be ignoring. So if you have doubts lingering as to whether what you're doing now is really what you want to do for the rest of your life, or something that you actually care about, these five signs will definitely give you some clarity and give you some of the answers that you are probably looking for. So without further ado, whether you are in your 20s or maybe even beyond Bond, let's get into the signs that the career you're in right now is maybe not the one for you. Stay with us. If you have listened to the podcast for a while, you will probably know this, but it is my deep belief that when it comes to finding the right career, the right pathway, the right job for you, there isn't one. There is not a perfect job. There is no such thing as a dream job that comes with no flaws, no downsides, no bad days, no occasional sense of emptiness. And that's coming from someone who, for all intents and purposes, has the best job that they could ask for in their life right now. There are still things that I would change. And I know that in 10, 20 years I probably won't think the same about my job that I do now. Because dream jobs evolve, our purpose evolves, our idea of work life balance is constantly being changed and being challenged. That doesn't necessarily mean, though, that there isn't some careers out there that simply fit better. But I do want to give that caveat at the beginning that if you are here to figure out what your dream job is, I'm sorry, I don't even believe in that concept. But hopefully I can bring you closer to finding a job that is maybe almost there for you. Another thing I believe is that it's never too late to change, to shift gears, to essentially decide that you want something different. And at the point that you realize that your major, your job, your career isn't for you, no matter how far you have gone down the wrong road, turn back. That is a very famous Turkish proverb that I think more of us ought to live by, not just in our professional lives, but in relationships. Relationships, in love, in anything. Careers in particular, though, you know, a lot feels at stake for a couple of reasons. There's a couple of Reasons why we know we're on the wrong path and we don't turn around. The first one being that, you know, our jobs, they allow us to live and they allow us to exist in a world that is ruled by currency and money. Jobs pay our bills. So simply leaving without having anything else lined up. I don't know about you, I have never had that luxury. Secondly, you may have a lot of time, energy, resources tied up in your career. Say you're becoming a doctor or a psychologist or a tradesperson. That typically means a lot of study, a lot of hours learning a skill, sometimes a lot of student loans, a lot of money invested. You can really feel like you're not going to get that time back, you're not going to get that money back. You're letting yourself down, you're letting your family down. And that's what causes us to stay in places that we don't belong, simply because of, basically, the sunk cost effect. We also, of course, it's not just an investment of time, energy, money. It's an investment of our identity. What we choose to do for a living, what we hope to do for a living, forms a large and significant part of who we see ourselves as. You know, what's one of the first things that people ask you? What do you do for work? What are you studying? It just goes to show how much occupational identity is one of the ways that we are really pigeonholed and that we pigeonhole ourselves. And pigeonholes may feel very small and restrictive. They can also feel very safe and very comfortable. So deciding to walk away from whatever you're studying, whatever you're doing, and explore other things, especially if you don't know what else you want to try. It can feel like voluntarily choosing to step off a ledge into a large bottomless pit, but being in the wrong place, it doesn't get easier. Your tolerance for it just improves. Until, you know, one day you're in your 60s and you're looking back at your life and you're realizing how truly young you were, how much time you actually really did have ahead of you, if you'd just taken the risk and walked away a little bit sooner from the thing that you knew deep down you didn't love. So to avoid that regret, to give ourselves that opportunity, let's discuss these five signs that you are probably in the wrong career. Sign one. You feel emotionally numb. You dread what you're doing, and it's a feeling that goes way beyond boredom. If you dread every Monday, you feel your mood completely shift. The moment you walk into work, you completely detach. You don't care if you're fired. You don't care if your work is good. You don't care if the assignment is late. You just have no desire to commit or. Or succeed in what you're doing. This is probably the wrong career for you. Yes, a job isn't always going to put a fire in your belly every single day. But if this is what you're going to spend the large majority of your life doing, almost 90,000 hours of your life, according to some estimates, you want to feel something. Pride, accomplishment, that you're helping people, whatever it is, even on hard days, you want to feel something. You don't want to feel nothing. And you most certainly don't want to feel just plain anxiety. The Sunday scaries are another indicator of this. Sunday scaries, it's a common term. You've most likely heard of it, but if not, it essentially refers to the anxiety or dread that many people experience on a Sunday evening as the weekend ends and the work week begins. And it has a scientific explanation. Sunday scaries, it's essentially emotional forecasting or anticipatory dread. You're looking at the week ahead and almost feeling empathy for your future self and what you'll know they have to endure and kind of almost borrowing their unhappiness so that you feel terrible right now. And the more you experience this and endure this, the more you start to become quite numb. Once you get into work or back to school or to your internship or whatever, instead of feeling all that anxiety you were feeling on Sunday, you actually end up shutting off. You go through the motions. All of this is a way to kind of mentally compartmentalize rather than really acknowledging like, wow, I really hate this. Because realizing that you really hate this means that you probably have to do something about it and you just might not feel ready for that. So this can also be highly indicative of something else called emotional blunting, where you basically become numb to what is going on around you. It's typically associated with certain medications, such as antidepressants, but it can also have an environmental origin, like a workplace or a job that you really hate or you feel absolutely nothing positive towards. Now, if this gets worse, this can also develop into something that psychologists call anhedonia. So a lack of interest, a lack of enjoyment, a lack of pleasure in what you're experiencing. Almost like people describe it, like looking at your life and feeling like there is a tinge of gray over everything. And in this context, the context of our jobs and Our careers. It often stems from being in an environment where your core values and your interests are being forced to be put away. And you may not even realize how emotionally flat you've become until the weekend, or until you're on holiday, or until you're working on a side project and suddenly like, you come alive again. It's like this is where you really feel like yourself. This kind of chronic disconnection throughout the work week or whenever you're studying, or whenever you're engaged in the thing that isn't right for you. And this is your mind and your body communicating and essentially saying this is not fitting the bill for what makes us happy. And because we can't acknowledge how unhappy we are, we're not going to feel anything. This is intrinsically linked to the second sign that you are in the wrong career, which is that your identity and what you are doing for work feel entirely out of sync. A 2016 study from the Journal of Vocational Behavior, it essentially found that career satisfaction is incredibly linked to something called identity alignment. How much your job reflects who you are. The more identity alignment you have, the happier you are going to be doing what you're doing. There was a poll a couple of years ago, maybe even like a decade ago, that found almost 55% of Americans derive a really large part of their identity from from their job. And I think as our time spent in the office and working increases significantly year by year, I can only imagine that that identity investment has really increased. If you value helping others and your job is denying insurance claims, you will experience deep cognitive dissonance because you don't have identity alignment. If you love nature and you love being outdoors and you work a desk job with no windows, same issue. If you really value intellectualism and being cognitively stimulated. But you work a job that is very routine and process based with not much room for creativity, again you have a disalignment. A disalignment in your identity is the same as a disalignment in your body. It feels pretty terrible and you can tell that something is wrong. This is very similar to a concept called self concept clarity. So self concept clarity is basically our ability to tell what's going to make us happy and our ability to know what would make us satisfied. So if you find yourself saying things like this just really doesn't feel like me, like I hate who this makes me. I don't recognize who I am at work. I feel like someone else. That's not trivial. That is indicative that your self concept clarity is coming into play and is communicating with you and telling you like, this isn't who we are, this isn't who we want to be. If you're not living your life in line with who you think you are, you know, who are you then? Like, if our life and the kind of person we are is defined by our actions and our, and our actions and our time and where we work and all these other things is saying the opposite and representing the opposite of who we are, we are going to be very unhappy in your body and the rest of your sense of self will respond to that. We know through research that this dissatisfaction becomes very tangible. It becomes very felt in your body, in your mind, in your bones, in your muscles. In order to discover what the alternative would be, you know, what would actually make us happier, what would my so called dream job be that isn't this? We really need to then focus on values. Because if we're living or having a career that is creating disalignment, the only way to bring back alignment is to really, really reaffirm or what we care about and then find ways to seek that out through work. This question that someone asked me once, I think is a really great way to do that. If you're struggling with what you really want to do in your life, you just know it's not this. I think this question will help. Basically, if your whole identity, all your memories, everything about your life had been erased, about who you were as a person had been erased, what are the five values that you have right now that you would choose to come back first? It's basically a different way of asking, who do you see yourself as like, at your core, what are the five things that you think represent you the most? And is it that far fetched that you can't ask for your work to reflect that? If that feels like a stretch from where you are now, if those five things are not reflected in your work at all, imagine then going forward and living another 30, 40 years where your values aren't aligned. The reason I think this exercise works so well for people who are like unsure of what they want to do is it's not asking you to identify your dream job as an alternative. Like, I was having this discussion with my friend on a walk this morning and she was like, I don't know what my dream job is. And I was like, well, you probably don't have one. You probably will never figure out what it is. If you search for that your entire life, you'll probably be unhappy. But what you can do is figure out a kind of broad range of things that you would feel really fulfilled doing, you know, and that's what this allows you to do. It's asking you to identify your values, which can then be expressed in different ways through different careers, not just one thing. For example, if one of the values that you would want back is, let's say, vulnerability. Vulnerability as a core value could mean that you could be a counselor, you could also be a matchmaker, you could be a hospice nurse, you could be a rehab director. Many options, not one dream job, but all rooted in what you value. It's really, really important that you have that in your work. It's worth mentioning as well what happens when we derive too much identity from work, because that can really result in something equally kind of scary. It's called enmeshment, where you and your job are just never separate. Your success at work determines your worth everywhere else. Your interests, all work. You can hear people getting sick of you talking about everything you think about work. I will admit I fell into this trap when I first started doing my podcast full time and then mantra as well. You know, I love both of those podcasts so much and it was, they are such a reflection of who I am and so much time goes into making them good and successful. And when I first started, there was so much at stake. Like I'd quit my full time job. Like there wasn't much room for me to think about anything else. And also because this podcast, the one you're listening to, like, this used to be a hobby, right? And then like this was the place I went to kind of not think about work. And then suddenly it was my job and nothing filled its place. Like I didn't have any sense of balance in my life. My entire identity was this. And oh my gosh, was I completely uninteresting, especially to myself. Like, I was bored of myself, I was exhausted.
- [21:37]
Tony Robbins
I.
- [21:38]
Unknown Host
All the small setbacks felt enormous because there was so much being balanced on the back of my career. So you can take it too far. I think it's our reminder as well too. It's okay to want to be your values to be reflected in work, but you also have to be bigger than work. Me and my boyfriend have this rule. Before we talk about work, when we get home, we have to talk about something else. A podcast, the gym, a story we heard, something like, we're excited about something in the news. It's really important for us because both of us are deeply invested in what we do for a living. I like to visualize it as a five finger Test for whether you have balance. If you hold up five fingers. If work is one of your fingers, you have to have four things to fill the other fingers. You have to have a hobby. You have to have an interest. You have to have friends. You have to have four other things you really care about. And if you cannot assign each of your fingers something else in your life that feels as important as work, like that is a warning. And that is a sign to rethink where your energy is being directed to like your identity is a series of buckets. Work is just one bucket. We want to have other things that we value and other things that we care about. Like literally do it right now. Hold up five fingers. If work is one, what are the others? What else might you need in your life to feel like your identity is reflected in what you do? But it's not everything. So those are our first two signs. We're going to take a short break here, but when we return, I have three final indicators that maybe what you're doing right now is not exactly right for you. So stay with us. Hello my lovely listeners. By now you know the more knowledge we have about ourselves and the way our bodies work, the more empowered and in control we are. And this is also true when it comes to our sexual health and what to do after unprotected sex. That's where Plan B comes in. It's emergency contraception with no age requirement that helps prevent pregnancy before it starts. And because it works by only temporarily delaying ovulation, it won't impact your ability to get pregnant in the future. We love a backup plan that puts us in control because the more we know, the more power we have. Learn more at plan b1step.com users directed let's Talk about something that most people in their 20s overlook or just straight up are confused by health insurance. Many people don't realize that health insurance wasn't designed to cover everything, which can leave gaps that you end up having to pay out of pocket. This brings me to Aflac. You know, the company with the very cute duck. We should all know by now that illness and injuries can hit at any time and dealing with them can be stressful enough without the added worry of additional expenses. That's where Aflac comes in. They pay cash to help with expenses health insurance doesn't cover, like CO pays, deductibles, even non medical expenses like rent or groceries. Whether it's a sudden illness, an injury, or even an unexpected hospital stay, Aflac can help provide a financial safety net so that you can worry less about how to cover those unexpected expenses, especially if you're having to miss work as a result. It's added peace of mind in a very busy world. To learn more, visit aflac.com My life has been chaotic recently, to say the least. And with so many events going on at the moment, my friends, weddings, my book tour, I'm also moving house. The last thing I have time for is shaving. That is where Nair's shower cream is comes in because it saves me so much time. And bonus, it also smells delicious. Nair is the number one hair removal brand, so you know their stuff works. And their hair removal shower cream uses natural extracts for its scents. So things like coconut oil, almond oil, lavender, they smell delicious. It's fast, like the length of your shower fast, maybe even quicker. And it's super easy to use as well. It's also, and this is a big thing for me, free of dye, dyes, parabens, phthalates, sulfates and dermatologists tested, which is probably why it leaves my skin feeling so insanely silky. Here's the other reason I've been really over shaving. I hate when I end up, like, cutting or nicking my skin. And I also feel like I end up missing spots anyway. So I'm kind of like, what's the whole point of this? But with Nair's shower cream, I have never had that problem. I just need you to try it out for yourself. My friends were actually over the other day and I had some in my shower and they were like, what is this? And they tried it out almost as a joke, but I'm fairly sure all of them left with that on their shopping list because that stuff works. Nez hair removal shower cream. Get ready for summer. You can buy it now at all major retailers.
- [26:49]
Tony Robbins
Hey, everybody, it's Tony Robbins. The external world you can't control. We're in a time that feels overwhelming for many people and it's going to have more challenging times ahead. But you can develop a resiliency and a strength in you. So this can be the best time of your life. Listen, you really need to get yourself a coach. You need a professional who's already got results. We want to be better as people. I want to become more, do more, share more, create more, give more. I'm so passionate about coaching because for time immemorial, that's how the job got done. Where there was lasting change, where there's someone there consistently with you that understands you, knows what you're missing, knows what you want, knows what the Challenges are know what gets in the way.
- [27:26]
Unknown Host
You see results immediately. Everybody's overall level has gone up. You don't work on the symptoms, you work on the issues and it solves the problem.
- [27:34]
Tony Robbins
So here's what I want to offer you. You'd like to test out one of my top coaches. We will give you a 30 minute free coaching session.
- [27:41]
Unknown Host
Go to tonyrobbins.com to get started today. That's tonyrobbins.com okay, are you ready for the third sign that your career is not right for you? Here it is. You think more about your quitting story than your five year plan. In this career, in this company, in this industry, everyone loves a good quitting story. I remember when I worked at a steak restaurant back in uni. It was so horrific. Every single day I would walk in to the start of my shift and I think, this is the, this is the day I'm going to do it. Like, I just need one reason to push me over the edge and I will quit. I will do it knowing that I wouldn't because I needed the job. And then, you know, Covid came along and stole my epic quitting story for me. But the fact that I was thinking about quitting constantly at work indicated a much deeper unhappiness. Quitting for you, it may be becoming a fixation, an obsessive interest that you cannot stop circling and that won't stop dominating the news cycle of your brain. You fantasize about burning your life to the ground, crashing out, disappearing, just not coming in one day, moving to Costa Rica, whatever it is, that is all you can think about. It brings you joy to think about it. Being invested in the fantasy more than reality is indicative that this isn't right for you. You know, daydreaming, it isn't always bad. It can actually be a really creative coping mechanism. But if you're constantly escaping into the idea of doing something else, being someone else professionally, that's not just your imagination. That is cognitive separation. That is escapism at work. It has another name as well. Maladaptive daydreaming. If you've listened to the whole episode that we did on this, you will know what I'm talking about. But maladaptive daydreaming is essentially where you feel detached from reality because you're spending too much time in the fantasy of what could be. And it does mean that you end up neglecting real life responsibilities, real life relationships, work relationships, deadlines, all those kinds of things. In those instances where you are obsessing over the Idea of quitting. I'm going to be completely honest with you. It's probably not going to get better. It's probably time to start searching for a better job. It's like what they say about a relationship, right? Like once you get, once you have seriously considered breaking up or once you have gotten the ick over somebody, like you're not, there's, you're not going back from that. Like no matter how long you hold on for afterwards, once you have seriously quit a relationship or quit a job in your mind, it's never going to be the same. It might not be quitting your imagining as well, like it might be something else. Like fantasizing about a different job, fantasizing about your next holiday the next time you switch off. That's going to become unhealthy and it can actually end up, you know, you can end up sabotaging your current career and sabotaging where you're currently at. The thing is, as much as you hate your job right now, you do want to get another one. And that means having good references and having positive working relationships. And it is something I wish I had learned earlier in my 20s. Don't burn bridges based on momentary feelings. You never know when you'll need that bridge later on. So instead, try and keep at least one foot in your day to day and maybe participate in a little bit of quiet quitting. But think about the future here. Don't just completely like neglect your job. Think about it smart. And don't, please don't just let yourself think that this is how everyone feels about work. It's not. You don't have to feel this way. You know, the best part of your day should not be the 30 minutes at lunch where you fantasize about how nice it would be to never go back in. You're allowed to want more. You are allowed to seek more for yourself. So use this fantasy as motivation so that you don't find yourself stagnant. You don't find yourself thinking, well, everyone feels this way, like, I'll just put up with it. Speaking of everyone, here is the fourth sign. And I rarely hear people talk about this when it comes to knowing a career isn't right for you. Quite simply, if there is no one that you admire in your industry, this industry is not right for you. No role model, no colleagues you want to be. No person, you know, 10 years down the line whose life you think looks really great. No vision of a life you want that contains your job. No examples of it. It's not Right for you, not having this admiration is often indicative of not having aspiration or inspiration for what you're doing, essentially meaning that your heart isn't in it. It also means you probably don't see yourself here long term enough to think aspirationally about what your life could become and to seek out those examples as blueprints and motivators because you are motivated. When you think about a good life, when you think about a life that you want for yourself, those dreams might not contain this career. What is that saying to you? Our brains are naturally drawn to admiration and sometimes jealousy for those doing better than us in an area where we ourselves want to thrive. Because A, we are naturally comparative creatures and B, comparison basically indicates desire, passion, and what we want. It's why, if you want to figure out what kind of life you want to have, you have to ask yourself, who am I jealous of? It's very revealing. And if the answer is, well, no one in the space that I'm in, you should probably be in a different space. And obviously, I'm not condoning jealousy as a motivator. I'm just saying that jealousy is a really. Because it is such a deeply felt emotion, it's quite revealing of what you really want. Also, you know, we so often learn and stay motivated through observation and modeling, but also through vicarious victory and celebration, you know, seeing what others achieve and feeling like we could do that ourselves. That's a huge part of aspirational psychology. Having role models, having someone that you look up to. And if you don't have that, like, you're missing out on a big part of how you stay motivated in a career, how you advance, how you seek more for yourself in this industry. Let's talk about this dimension, though, which is having someone you admire in a space that you would never want to make money from doing. So what if your heroes are, I don't know, like Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders? And you know, you're never going to be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. Like, what if your heroes are classically trained musicians and you've never picked up an instrument in your life? What happens when you admire someone as a hobbyist of the thing that they have made a career as? Does that make sense? Like, you view it as a hobby, they view it as a career. What happens then? Well, that's complicated, but I think I'm personally a firm believer that your job doesn't have to be the thing that you love most in the world. So just because you have a hero in a certain field like A musician or an actor or, I don't know, a tech guru. Like, that doesn't mean that you need to suddenly quit your job and pursue what they're doing. As long as you know that you're going to be okay in the future with not giving it a shot. If you are viewing this person as a personal hero and as someone that you aspire to be, are you going to regret not trying to do something similar? Like that's a question you have to answer for yourself. It is also completely okay to just admire them and feel motivated and by their character from afar, as long as you are okay with that fact. And you will be okay in the future with not giving your passion a shot professionally. That's totally your prerogative. But again, if you genuinely cannot think of one person in your industry or in your profession that you think is cool, there is probably something better out there. Maybe your hero may not be an accountant, maybe they will not be a professional pharmacist, but there should be at least one person. A colleague, a professor, someone else you're in college with, someone you think has a cool life, a life that you can see yourself emulating. So we are down to our final sign, our final one. And it's one you may have already guessed. It's burnout. It's sickness. It's feeling physically and mentally unwell if your body is giving you the signals, if your body is getting sicker easier, burnt out easier, irritated more. This career is probably not in alignment with who you are. We often think that career decisions are purely intellectual and rational. But your body keeps the score. I feel like everyone's heard that phrase, your body keeps the score. And not just when it comes to trauma. Chronic stomach aches, fatigue, headaches, Sunday scaries, you know, a really severe anxiety. These are not normal. These should not be dismissed. These are not just parts of being an adult. You also cannot just out think them or outwork them, or continue with this idea that it will get better, it will get better, it will get better. These symptoms are often rooted in very deep psychological occupational stress. Your nervous system is probably in a prolonged state of low level discomfort and distress. And this is ricocheting into all these other areas of your body, into tension, into a suppressed immune system. Even if you're still, you know, clocking in every morning, even if you feel like you can get through it, if your body is telling you no, listen to it. And also another reminder, you're not being dramatic. Even if people have it tougher, even if people work harder than you, even if you feel like you don't deserve to be stressed, I'm gonna tell you that's actually not your choice. I'm sorry, it's not your choice. Like, you can't think, you can't think in a way of like, I can escape this by telling myself that I don't deserve to feel this way. Like, your body is not something that you can control with your mind. Like, you can't just tell it to be well if it's in an is making it sick. So it's something you really need to pay attention to. Scientific studies have shown us that occupational dissatisfaction takes a toll on your body. For starters, one study found that you sleep less, you get sick more often, you're more likely to report chronic stress. One of the most shocking studies on this was actually recent and it analyzed data from over 6,000 participants in the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth and found that job related dissatisfaction experienced in your 20s and 30s can lead to overall health issues just 10 to 20 years down the line. With the real cumulative effect of unhappiness in your job really starting to show up in our health around 40. The researchers, they examined the participants job satisfaction from 25 to 39 and then compared that with data around their health after they turned 40. And what they discovered was that people who were unhappier in their jobs early in their careers were more prone to illnesses, particularly mental health problems, but also sleep problems and excessive worry and excessive stress. And this was when they were controlling for all these other variables, including income, including education levels, including where someone lived. This isn't just about your happiness. This is about your health. And that's something that we don't value enough until we don't have it. Trust me. Like, then your entire perspective changes. This is also about having a life and having experiences that don't feel burdened by a job that you feel trapped by. I want to quickly play you guys this clip from my other podcast mantra because I think I put it so well there. Like I'm, I'm not even going to bother repeating myself. I think I put it perfectly. This is from my episode on I make rest a priority in my life. I think it really applies to this episode. I'm going to play the clip right now. There is nothing more valuable than just getting to sit with your experiences sometimes and just allowing yourself to have a freaking nap. Like to have a nap, to have some downtime, to take a day off, you know, the end of your life. I know, it sounds so cliche. Everyone says you're going to look back at your life and what are you going to remember? You're going to remember the times when you didn't take a day off, when you worked too hard, when you missed important milestones, important events? Or are you going to remember the day that you played hooky and, you know, you went and got ice cream with your parents? Or you're gonna remember the days when you said, I'm not gonna let this stress me out anymore and went to dinner with your friends, even though you know you didn't meet your deadline or even though you felt this, like, urge to keep working. That's a clip from my full episode, which is available on my other podcast, Mantra, titled I Make Rest a Priority in My Life. And on that we really talk about why work is more than just pushing yourself and it's more than just productivity. In fact, life is more than just productivity. And I think that's a real great place to finish and a real final reminder. If your entire life is dictated by a job you hate and by a career, you don't see a future in such that it drowns out all the other parts of your life. And it has you ignoring small joys and it has you just like sick with worry and unable to do the fun things. That's going to have an impact. And the sooner that you can start searching for an alternative, start just questioning if there is something else out there you would enjoy more, the better. Like, the more your future self is going to start thanking you sooner. Like, the better off you will be. The time to change is now. And that's at any age, by the way, whatever age you are, it's still now. But speaking to all my 20 somethings, you know, starting again, going back, saying, this degree isn't right for me, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm going to choose to be a beginner. That is not shameful, that does not make me a failure. I think that that is an incredible act of bravery. Choosing to start again, choosing to acknowledge that this wasn't right, you didn't make a mistake, you just didn't have all the information yet is so courageous. Like, that makes you a major success in my eyes. Like, those are the kinds of people I really admire and the stories really seek out. Like those of people who are not afraid to start over and who are not afraid of being a beginner and saying, I was wrong about what I wanted. And now I'm just gonna see and I'm gonna explore. You have so much time and that time will be more valuable when you spend it doing something aligned with what you care about. And when you spend it doing something that really puts a fire in your belly or that gives you a sense of being, or a mission, or just a sense of accomplishment, whatever name you want to give it. Having a job and having a career that you feel proud to have is really great for your mental health. Firstly, it's also really great for your physical health and it's really great for the enjoyment that you want to get out of life. So I hope that this episode has provided you with some clarity and with some answers. If you have made it this far, you guys know that if you make it to the end of the episode, you get a secret message from me that I invite you to leave a comment on. If you've made it this far, leave a comment down below. What was your first job? My first job was making smoothies at a place called Boost Juice. If you are Australian, you will know the Boost Juice law. But speaking of careers, speaking of careers that maybe weren't right for us, what was your first job? But anyways, I hope that this is, yeah, again, caused you to question, caused you to reflect, caused you just to think about it. You don't have to make any choices now. You don't have to go out and quit your job tomorrow. This is just a nice way for you to consider what else is out there for you and maybe confirm some things you already know about a deeper dissatisfaction with the career you've chosen. That doesn't make you a failure, doesn't mean you've made a mistake. Just means that now you have more information to make a better choice for yourself. So as we wrap up this episode, make sure that you give that full episode on Mantra a listen. I'll leave a link in the description, make sure that you are following me on Instagram at that psychology podcast if you want to share feedback, questions, episode suggestions we're always on the hunt. We're always on the lookout. Send me a DM over there. Make sure you're following along so that you always know when new episodes are coming out and leave us a five star review if you feel called to do so. It does really help the show grow and yeah, reach cool new people like yourselves. But until next time, stay safe, be kind, be gentle with yourself, especially if you are dealing with some career dissatisfaction. A lot of people are. You are not alone and we will talk very, very soon. Hello my lovely listeners. By now you know the more knowledge we have about ourselves and the way our bodies work, the more empowered and in control we are. And this is also true when it comes to our sexual health and what to do after unprotected sex. That's where Plan B comes in. It's emergency contraception, no age requirement that helps prevent pregnancy before it starts. And because it works by only temporarily delaying ovulation, it won't impact your ability to get pregnant in the future. We love a backup plan that puts us in control because the more we know, the more power we have. Learn more@planb1step.com users directed let's Talk about something that most people in their 20s overlook or just straight up are confused by health insurance. Many people don't realize that health insurance wasn't designed to cover everything, which can leave gaps that you end up having to pay out of pocket. This brings me to Aflac. You know, the company with the very cute duck. We should all know by now that illness and injuries can hit at any time and dealing with them can be stressful enough without the added worry of additional expenses. That's where Aflac comes in. They pay cash to help with expenses health insurance doesn't cover, like co pays deductibles, even non medical expenses like rent or groceries. Whether it's a sudden illness, an injury, or even an unexpected hospital stay, Aflac can help provide a financial safety net so that you can worry less about how to cover those unexpected expenses, especially if you're having to miss work as a result. It's added peace of mind in a very busy world. To learn more, visit aflac.com My life has been chaotic recently to say the least. And with so many events going on at the moment, my friends, weddings, my book tour, I'm also moving house. The last thing I have time for is shaving. That is where Nair's shower cream comes in because it saves me so much time. And bonus, it also smells delicious. Nair is the number one hair removal brand, so you know their stuff works. And their hair removal shower cream uses natural extracts for its scents. So things like coconut oil, almond oil, lavender, they smell delicious. It's fast, like the length of your shower fast, maybe even quicker. And it's super easy to use as well. It's also, and this is a big thing for me, free of dyes, parabens, phthalates, sulfates and dermatologist tested. Which is probably why it leaves my skin feeling so insanely silky. Here's the other reason I've been really over shaving. I hate when I end up like cutting or nicking my skin. And I also feel like I end up missing spots anyway, so I'm kind of like, what's the whole point of this? But with Nair's shower cream, I have never had that problem. I just need you to try it out for yourself. My friends were actually over the other day and I had some in my shower and they were like, what is this? And they tried it out almost as a joke. But I'm fairly sure all of them left with that on their shopping list because that stuff works. Nares hair removal shower cream. Get ready for summer. You can buy it now at all major retailers. So easy for a year to go by. And you're in the same place because there's so much going on in the world today.
- [49:30]
Tony Robbins
Hey, everybody, it's Todd Robbins. So the real question is, how do you really get yourself to be in a place where you truly follow through, where you actually get the results that you really want? Listen, you really need to get yourself a coach. You need a professional who's already got results. You need something outside you, someone that's like what a coach does.
- [49:51]
Unknown Host
The most successful people in the world have coaches. If I want to play in that league, I have to model what the successful people do. Bar our company ended on a 69% revenue growth, which is ridiculous because we're talking about millions of dollars. Tony Robbins results Coach will get you to where you want to be in health, finances, career and beyond.
- [50:11]
Tony Robbins
If you'd like to test out one of my top coaches, we will give you a 30 minute free coaching session.
- [50:16]
Unknown Host
Go to tonyrobbins.com to get started today. That's tonyrobbins.com hello my lovely listeners. By now you know the more knowledge we have about ourselves and the way our bodies work and the more empowered and in control we are. And this is also true when it comes to our sexual health and what to do after unprotected sex. That's where plan B comes in. It's emergency contraception with no age requirement that helps prevent pregnancy before it starts. And because it works by only temporarily delaying ovulation, it won't impact your ability to get pregnant in the future. We love a backup plan that puts us in control because the more we know, the more power we have. Learn more@planb1step.com users directed Every business has an ambition. PayPal Open is the platform designed to help you grow into yours with business loans so you can expand and access to hundreds of millions of PayPal customers worldwide. And your customers can pay all the ways they want with PayPal, Venmo pay later and all major cards so you can focus on scaling up when it's time to get grown. Growing. There's one platform for all business PayPal open grow today at paypalopen.com loans subject to approval in available locations. Please welcome aboard the Johnson family.
- [51:34]
Tony Robbins
The whole fam's here for the Disney Cruise. So you know, we came to play and listen. The adults are gonna have a ball. First we're chilling in the infinity pool, onto massages at Sense's spa. Then glitch sliding into Star Wars Hyperspace lounge for a toast. We're even gonna kick back with Mickey on Disney's private island. That's how we get down. Cause Disney Cruise Line is where we came to play.
- [52:01]
Unknown Host
With great deals coming this Prime Day, July 8th through the 11th. Greatness is a deal away. So if you love baking, you can get a deal on a new mixer transforming you into the Lord of the loaves. Hear ye, hear ye. Make way for the Baron of Brioche, the Sultan of Sourdough, the Lord of the Lows. Prime member Dave Yeah. Hi. Shop great deals this prime day, July 8th through the 11th. This is an Iheart podcast.