The Psychology of Your 20s – Episode 383: The Psychology of Intrusive Thoughts

Host: Jemma Sbeg
Date: February 9, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Jemma Sbeg takes a deep dive into the phenomenon of intrusive thoughts—those sudden, unwanted, and often distressing ideas or images that pop into our minds uninvited. She explores why nearly everyone experiences intrusive thoughts (not just those with OCD), what makes them feel so alarming, and how to break the cycle of fear, shame, and avoidance that can accompany them. The episode blends psychology research, personal stories, practical advice, and humor to demystify intrusive thoughts and offer tools for coping.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

• Definition & Prevalence

  • Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary, and often taboo thoughts or images that interrupt our normal thought flow.
  • "Amongst these students, 93.6% reported experiencing an intrusive thought in the last three months alone. And that estimate may actually be kind of on the lower side." (Jemma, 04:10)
  • They’re extremely common, not a sign of ‘being broken.’

• Nature and Impact

  • They often contradict personal values or desires and can feel alien or disturbing.
  • Jemma gives vivid personal examples:
    • “If anyone is looking at me on the tube or in public, I begin to think that I’ve just screamed really loud and forgotten about it.” (Jemma, 06:37)
    • “Anytime I order Uber Eats, someone has poisoned my food. I literally threw out like $30 worth of sushi the other night because I was convinced... it had been poisoned.” (Jemma, 07:05)

• Distinguishing from Impulsive Thoughts

  • Impulsive thoughts: more about acting on sudden impulses (e.g., “What if I dyed my hair black tonight?”).
  • Intrusive thoughts: associated with anxiety, guilt, shame, and are inconsistent with our true desires.

Why Do We Have Intrusive Thoughts?

• Contradicting Core Values

  • The content of intrusive thoughts often directly opposes what we value most (e.g., safety, morality, love), making them all the more distressing.
  • "If you deeply value safety, that is why your mind produces harm scenarios. If you deeply value morality, that is why your mind produces taboo, moral thoughts." (Jemma, 18:50)

• Ego-Dystonic Nature

  • Intrusive thoughts are 'ego-dystonic’—they don’t align with your self-image or intentions.

• Not Predictions or Intentions

  • “Just because you think your house is going to burn down doesn’t mean it will.” (Jemma, 13:09)
  • “Intrusive thoughts are not desires the same way that an impulsive thought might be.” (Jemma, 12:36)

Common Themes and Triggers

• Themes:

  • Harm, aggression, sexual content, contamination, disease, blasphemy, social taboo, false memories.

• Triggers and Risk Factors:

  • Periods of stress, hormonal fluctuations (e.g., postpartum, premenstrual, perimenopause, thyroid issues).
  • High need for closure or intolerance of uncertainty increases susceptibility.
  • “Intrusive thoughts do become more common during certain life events... The postpartum period is an example that researchers explicitly discuss.” (Jemma, 33:31)

• Effect of Modern Media:

  • Violent or disturbing images seen online can produce vicarious trauma and intrusive imagery.

The Psychology Behind Intrusive Thoughts

• Thought-Action Fusion:

  • The idea that having a thought is morally or functionally equivalent to acting on it, or that thinking increases the likelihood of something happening.
  • “Thought-action fusion... is basically the feeling that having a thought is the moral equivalent to doing it, or that thinking it increases the likelihood of it happening.” (Jemma, 21:03)

• Magical Thinking vs. Reality:

  • Intrusive thoughts can hijack the healthy aspects of magical or intuitive thinking, making thoughts feel dangerously powerful.

• Brain’s Threat-Detection System:

  • Brain naturally generates various random, sometimes catastrophic scenarios as a survival mechanism.
  • Salience bias: Scary or value-challenging thoughts grab our attention.

Breaking the Cycle: Suppression & Ironic Processing

• Thought Suppression Backfires

  • “The worst thing you can do for an intrusive thought is to actually not think about them, which is the thing that you most want to do.” (Jemma, 43:11)
  • Study reference: Daniel Wegner & David Schneider’s white bear experiments (1980s) show how trying to suppress a thought makes it rebound.
    • “Once you have been given the instruction not to think about something... it ironically keeps the thought active and front of mind.” (Jemma, 45:28)

• Cycle of Avoidance

  • Avoidance and suppression makes thoughts stronger, more persistent, and scarier.

Strategies for Coping and Moving Forward

Exposure & Acceptance

• Talking & Labeling

  • Speak intrusive thoughts out loud, write them down, share them—acknowledgment decreases their power.
  • Label thoughts: “This is just an intrusive thought, nothing more, nothing less.” (Jemma, 54:00)

• Exposure Therapy

  • Allow yourself to experience the thought without neutralizing or avoiding it. Over time, anxiety drops (habituation/inhibitory learning).
  • “Your nervous system essentially learns, yes, this thought is uncomfortable but it’s not dangerous.” (Jemma, 51:31)

Defusion Techniques

• Visualization & Playfulness

  • Inspired by “The Happiness Trap” (Russ Harris), use creative mental reframing:
    • Write the thought in big, colored letters.
    • Imagine the thought as a red clown nose, or sing it in a funny voice.
    • Harry Potter Bogart example: turn fear into something ridiculous.
  • “Find a way to transform it in some way…where it's not scary anymore.” (Jemma, 53:04)

• Physical Grounding

  • To disrupt the mental spiral, physically interact with your environment:
    • Name an object’s color, texture, weight; describe it in detail.
    • “That tactile, physical nature interrupts the mental spiral.” (Jemma, 57:04)

• Visualizing Anxiety Passing

  • Treat intrusive thoughts like waves to be surfed—experience the surge, let it peak, and then watch it subside.

Mantras and Mindfulness

• Mantras
  • “I can feel anxious and still choose my actions.”
  • “Uncertainty isn't dangerous. The unknown isn't dangerous. This thought cannot harm me because it’s just a thought.” (Jemma, 56:13)
  • Regularly repeating calming, rational phrases produces cognitive distance.

Self-Compassion & Professional Help

• Zooming Out
  • Consider stress and life context as contributing to spikes in intrusive thoughts.
  • Use intrusive thoughts as a signal to check in with your mental health.
• Therapy
  • “Go and see a psychologist, or a counselor, or a therapist…these people are incredible…It was this weird thing where I did avoid therapy for so long... The moment that I was forced to talk about them more... all those things that I’ve been saying to you for this episode did come true." (Jemma, 1:01:44)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jemma on Her Own Intrusions:
  “My brain has two favorite intrusive thoughts of late... if anyone is looking at me on the tube or in public, I begin to think that I’ve just screamed really loud and forgotten about it... The other is that anytime I order Uber Eats, someone has poisoned my food.” (06:34 – 07:05)

• On Intrusive Thoughts and Values:
  “A thought that didn’t carry so much emotional weight wouldn’t stick the way intrusive thoughts do, because your brain wouldn’t be so alarmed.” (19:40)

• On Thought Suppression:
  “The worst thing you can do for an intrusive thought is to actually not think about them, which is the thing you most want to do.” (43:11)

• Defusion Examples:
  “Imagine the thought or situation you’re scared of and everyone has a red clown nose on... or like, sing the thought to yourself in a silly voice.” (53:25)

• On Seeking Therapy:
  “Absolutely not. These people are incredible. There is a reason that therapy gets its flowers and its applause because it really does work.” (1:01:55)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction to Intrusive Thoughts – [05:35]
• Personal Experiences & Definitions – [06:30]
• Intrusive vs. Impulsive Thoughts – [11:30]
• Why & When Intrusive Thoughts Occur – [18:50]
• Common Themes and Triggers – [22:00]
• Thought-Action Fusion & Magical Thinking – [21:03], [26:00]
• Thought Suppression & White Bear Study – [43:09], [45:28]
• Exposure Therapy & Habituation – [51:31]
• Defusion Practices & Visual Tools – [53:04]
• Mantras & Mindfulness – [56:13]
• Bodily Grounding Techniques – [57:04]
• Therapy & Self-Compassion – [1:01:44]
• Wrap-up & Sharing Listener Stories – [1:05:23]

Conclusion

Jemma concludes with reassurance: intrusive thoughts are universal, not dangerous, and manageable. She encourages listeners to use evidence-based coping techniques, consider professional support if needed, and find humor or distance from their thoughts. The episode strikes a hopeful, compassionate tone that demystifies a topic often surrounded by fear and shame.