If you regret certain choices you've made around food and you're not sure what to do about it, this episode is for you.

In this powerful conversation, Dara Tomasson explores the connection between regret and weight loss, and how unprocessed emotions can quietly shape your patterns with food for years. So many women believe weight struggles are a private failure — something shameful that should be handled alone. But when we begin talking openly about our experiences, something shifts. We relax. We feel hopeful. And real change becomes possible.

The Hidden Role of Perfectionism

Dara also explores how perfectionism acts as a protective shield. If we look perfect, perform perfectly, or take care of everyone else, maybe we won't be judged or rejected.

But perfectionism, procrastination, and people-pleasing are survival strategies — especially for women who learned early that acceptance meant safety. When perfectionism runs the show, weight loss becomes another arena to "prove" worthiness. And when perfectionism inevitably cracks, regret rushes in. Instead of seeing weight regain as data, we interpret it as failure.

Emotional Regulation Is the Missing Skill

At the heart of this episode is a powerful truth: many of us were never taught emotional regulation. We weren't shown how to feel disappointment. How to process bitterness. How to sit with regret without turning it into self-punishment. So we buffered. Food became an acceptable coping strategy — one that dampened noise, distracted from discomfort, and helped us survive.

But if we don't learn how to feel our feelings directly, no diet strategy will create lasting weight loss. The old coping mechanisms will return. Until we slow down and identify the survival patterns underneath — perfectionism, procrastination, people-pleasing — the system remains broken.

This episode is a compassionate reminder:

You are not bad.

You are not weak.

You are not incapable of change.

You simply didn't get the full picture.

When you begin to see how regret, perfectionism, and emotional avoidance have shaped your behaviors, you gain power. You move from shame to awareness. From autopilot to intentional growth. When you learn to process regret instead of reliving it, and practice emotional regulation instead of buffering, everything changes.

Listen in and start turning regret into growth.

Watch the YouTube video with Dr Benjamin Bikman - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyFSkGMWP5Q

Connect with Dara:

Book a consult call to find out if her program is right for you - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/contact

Follow Dara on Instagram - @dara_tomasson

Check out Dara's upcoming live trainings - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/upcoming-classes-and-events

242. How Guilt and Regret Hold You Back from Weight Loss