
Special replay from February 10th’s live webinar Rise is Back! Get your tickets while they last! - Live Events!! Upgrade to the Ad Free Premium Podcast Experience - https://rachelhollis.supercast.com Rachel challenges the idea that motivation is the key to change, arguing that motivation is fleeting and often leads to shame when goals slip, especially when people use harsh self-talk, comparison, or other unhealthy tactics to “get motivated.” She explains that real progress comes from routines, habits, and ritual—showing up for your life every day in ways that fit your real circumstances, including mid-level days and hard days influenced by stress, hormones, or life seasons. Get your copy of Rachel's Book Here: Audible, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Millon, Bookshop.org, or wherever books are sold! 00:00 Show Up Every Day (Without Hustle): Aligning With Your Future Self 01:04 Welcome + Intention for a Perspective Shift 02:30 Rachel’s Background: 15 Years of Personal Develop...
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But if every day for the last year you had showed up literally seven days a week, you'd showed up for your life. And you know what I mean. You know exactly what I mean. You have your version of this. Whether that was training for the race or writing the book or building the business, what if every day you'd showed up? And I'm not saying you didn't show up. I'm not saying you didn't work your butt off, but what if you did it every day? And this is not about hustle. This is not about grinding yourself into the ground. This is about, did I show up for my life today? Look, I have big dreams and big ambitions still today, after all this time, and someday showing up for my life is like, I'm gonna do some yoga stretches in the floor, and I'm gonna go sit and read this book that I think is gonna help me grow in some way. Every day doesn't need to look like running a marathon. But what if every day you were aligned with where you were headed and you made choices that were aligned with that future version of you? Hey, guys. I'm Rachel Hollis, and this is the show where we talk about life, real life. Around here, we cover everything from habits and motivation to relationships, parenting, and what it looks like to build a life that you love. If you're trying to grow, heal, or just feel a little bit more like yourself, you're in the right place. Hello, guys. You guys are from all over the world today. I saw South Africa and Germany and Canada and the UK and all over the US it's small. So cool that you're here and I'm grateful for the time and I hope that I can share some wisdom today. Honestly, before I was, before I came on, I was prepping this morning and I was like, what is my greatest intention in our time together? And what I hope most. This sounds very grandiose and dramatic, but hello, it's me. Is that you have a perspective shift. Is that you see the patterns that you are repeating in your life and maybe get a little perspective that changes the way you do things and that you feel more supported in the life that you're trying to live. So first of all, how does that sound? Give me an emoji if that sounds good and you're down to try. This is the first time hanging out together. If you have no I love all these hearts. It's so cute. If you are hanging out with me for the very first time ever. I'm Rachel. It's nice to meet you. I've spent the last, gosh, almost 15 years doing work with women. So I started out as a blogger. I would write about my life and I would share stories, stories and recipes that were really helping me. And then over time, as I began to get really into personal development, I started to share the parts and pieces of my life that were having the most effect. So all I am ever sharing is things I have tested on myself that I have proven really work for me. And then in over a decade of doing this work with y', all, like specifically in personal development, I feel like I have gleaned so much wisdom about, number one, what are those unifying factors that most of us as women encounter? And number two, what are the things that absolutely do not work and what are the things that super duper work? And oh, yes, I'm seeing everyone. Wisconsin and Cayman Islands. We've got Vermont, Dallas, Texas. Yes, you guys are here for it. So the thing for me, the reason that I did this webinar back in January, so one month ago, we did this exact class that I'm going to teach you today, though I do think today's a little bit better because I've rehearsed it once and also my cardigan's really strong. Having done this work for a really long time, I know that the beginning of a new year is when we all start to think about goals. Honestly, even if you don't care about goals, you're going to see that in front of you with the media. You're going to see it everywhere, like health goals and business goals and Relationship goals. And this is how you're supposed to be. And it can be everything from trends in makeup and clothing to a new revenue you're trying to get to in your business. We're sort of bombarded with it. And I love a goal. It's one of my favorite things. I'm gonna talk to you a lot about goals today, but I think the way that we are taught to get to where we want to go is broken. And I think the system is broken in such a way that for a lot of us, it doesn't necessarily lead to results, it leads to shame. So tell me, give me an emoji or a thumbs up if this is something that resonates with you, that you get an idea in your mind of where you wanna go, and then you try a bunch of stuff, you start working toward it, and maybe you're really good in the beginning, right? You're feeling the thing that everybody wants, which is motivated. You're motivated to do a thing at the new year or a big birthday. You're all excited and fired up. And then inevitably a certain amount of time goes by and for whatever reason, there's a bunch of different factors that come into play. We fall off course, we fall off the wayside, we end up making choices we wish we hadn't made and we feel really discouraged. And when the thing doesn't work, when the diet doesn't work, when the gym membership doesn't work, when the plan doesn't work, we rarely blame the thing, right? If you're anything like me, when it doesn't work, who do you blame? Yourself, right? That voice in the back of your mind starts telling you, oh, yeah, knew. See, Cheryl, I knew it. I knew you couldn't do this. You're always saying that you're going to start something and then you don't. You're always quitting on yourself. Anyone have a voice in the back of their mind that likes to remind them all of the ways that they suck? I definitely do. And because inevitably all of these things that we are taught are going to help us end up leading us somewhere that doesn't work. And often that leads us to a space of shame, it becomes this repetitive cycle. Will you be real and vulnerable in this space right now and be honest? Have you set a goal for 20, 26 that here on February 10, you've already fallen off plan? Like, who here? Like, let's be real. I definitely. There were things I was like, well, I'm not going to do that. And I've already done it my intention today is for you to understand that motivation is awesome, but it does not last. And anything that doesn't last can't possibly affect your life positively forever and ever. Amen. Which is what we are trying to get to when we want to make change. So if something is fleeting, if something is short term, if something cannot last, then it can't support you the way you need it to. So motivation is actually not the game. Motivation is this really nice to have thing, but it's not always going to show up. What can show up for us is routine. What can show up for us is habit. What can show up for us is ritual. My challenge to myself, and also I hope for you today is to get to this place where you don't ask yourself, what can life look like on your best day? You ask yourself, how can I continue to show up even on my worst day? Day. Because for anybody here who gets a period, okay? Or has any kind of hormone that repeats in a cycle, you and I both know that there are going to be days in the month where we are crushing it. We can take on everything. We are doing all the things right. Comment, let me know if this resonates with you. But then two days later or two weeks later, you're like, who what? All of a sudden you're a bog troll. You're mad at everyone. You can't stand your husband. You're, you know, crying over a sandwich. You're freaking out and you're like, happened to easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl that I was two weeks ago when I was feeling good and doing all the things. She's gone, babe. Because your hormones have cycled into a new space. And if we are counting on being able to do the thing only on our best days, we're inevitably not going to make much progress. So here's how I was thinking of this this morning. I want you to just imagine a given month and I'm going to specific low progesterone. Exactly. I want you to imagine a given month. Let's look January, because this is one that just happened. And I want you to just think about the past 30 days, 31 days of your life. Even if you're a dude, if you're the three dudes who sign in for this welcome, we're happy to have you here, brother. This can apply to you too. And I want you to think about in a given month, in a calendar month, how many awesome days do you have now? I don't mean that the world outside you is awesome and everything's lining up perfectly. I mean, you woke up with a song in your heart like a Disney character, and you're happy. How many days in the month Will you comment in the section? In the comment section? Let me know. So maybe four. Samantha says four to seven days. Roxy says. Anyone else have, like, a rough estimate? Zero. Karen, that is so real. We see you, girl. How many days in a month do you feel like you are just. Absolutely. All the things are aligned. You feel really good inside. You don't need any external motivation because you got it going on in you. Okay, so then. Oh, yeah. So maybe three. A week tops. Five to six. Three to five. Ten. Ish. Great. So it varies based on person. And honestly, today we're building around your real life. Your real life. Not your sister's life, not someone you see on Instagram. What is going to work for you at the end of our conversation today? I'm gonna teach you a framework. So it's four different things that I think will beat motivation every single time, because you can do them on your worst day. But the important thing that you get is that it has to apply to your real life or it will not fit stick. Okay, so let's go back to this idea of great days in a month. Now, we said how many days we wake up feeling so awesome, so excited, singing We Catch a Bluebird on our finger like Snow White. It's awesome. Okay, now I want you to think about how many days in the month you just don't have it? Okay. It's not. We have left the chat. Our. Maybe we're feeling crappy. Maybe we're hormonal. Maybe it just goes like. How many days in a month do you think that you experience where you're like, I just don't have it today. And these are days where you're like, I'm not even fighting the powers that be. I'm just gonna let myself be a little bit of a dumpster fire. Cause I just don't have it. So 4, 5 to 10, 7. This is the part in the chat where I don't know if you're talking about the first one or the second, but 4. 4, 4 is a common number. Okay. 10. 5. Ish. Great. 15. That's real. Don't. Don't say ug. Like, we all have. We're all working on things. That's so honest, guys. We have to be honest about what is really going on in our lives. If we can be honest about where we really are, we can actually take steps to make it feel better. But if we try and pretend, I see this happen a lot in coaching. When people come into the coaching program, you take a quiz, you take a modality quiz, and you're supposed to answer honestly, and it tells you what you need to work on first. And I cannot tell you how many members of coaching have had to go back and retake the test, because the first time they took the quiz, even though nobody sees their results but them, they were answering as the person they want to be, not in the reality that they sit. If you can actually face where you are, if you can look in the mirror and go, okay, I'm awesome in these ways and these ways I'm kind of struggling, then you can actually take steps to make things better. But if you are not being honest about where you are, then you try and make things better from a false starting point. Do you know what I mean? Like, you're so far off base. Like, for instance, sorry, I'm just going down a rabbit hole on this comment right here, because I can see that you're being hard on yourself, Tricia, and it's not doing anything for you. When you're hard on yourself, when you actually can be honest about where you are, you can take the steps that you need to take. So, okay, let's go back to this idea of good days and bad days. So you've established how many great days you have in a month, and now we have a rough idea of how many really hard days you have in a month, which stands to reason that most of your month, you tell me if this is right, hit somewhere in the middle. Somewhere in the middle. The rest of the days in the month are just like your days, right? They're not the highest highs, they're not the lowest lows. They're just somewhere mid. Does that resonate with you? Now, here's why this matters to me. When we want to get ourselves to do something that we're not feeling like doing, this is the magical motivation that we're all chasing down, okay? When we're like, I should go to the gym, I should eat my spinach, I should do this, I should do that, we're shoulding all over ourselves, okay? Whenever we get into that mode, when we're in the mid level, we don't quite have enough motivation to do the things that we want to do. And we try and hype ourselves up and we hype ourselves up through various methods of motivation that aren't actually that great for us. So tell me if you've ever used give me like Give me a thumbs up emoji or heart emoji. If you've ever used any of these methods of motivation in your life to get yourself to move, intentionally speaking to yourself in hateful ways. Have you ever intentionally spoken to yourself in your head in a really hateful way to get yourself to move? Okay, Jacking yourself up on caffeine, Having way more caffeine than you need because there's something about having too much caffeine that makes our nervous system freak out. And then we're like, I have all the energy, I can fly, I am motivated. You're not motivated. You're over caffeinated. You're about to have a nervous breakdown. Okay, have you ever used the image of another woman to get yourself to move? Right. You think of someone that you admire, you think of her body, her life, her boyfriend, her this, and you use that thing to get yourself to go, okay. Have you ever used a different version of yourself, like a past version of yourself? You imagined yourself in college, you're imagining a body you have, you're imagining, you know, what your stomach looked like before you got the stretch marks from those babies. Like, you're thinking of all these things. You're using all of these modalities to motivate yourself. Out of curiosity, just go through all the things that I just said. And for any of you who are mamas, imagine using that technique to motivate your kid. Just sit with it for a second. Imagine that you go to your teenage daughter or your 11 year old son and you give them four shots of espresso to try and get them to do their homework. Imagine if you go to your teenage daughter, just like, hang in this with me, okay? Someone said, ouch. Exactly. Imagine that you go to your teenage daughter and you're like, you know, remember what you look like when you were a freshman. You know, you got that booty on you. You got a little belly, you got a little thigh. Remember how flat your stomach was when you were a freshman? I'm bringing this up because we all do this to ourselves and we would never do that to someone that we love. We would never do that to a child. We would never do that to our kids. So how healthy do you think it is for you to use these methods of motivation to get yourself to move? Now, it can have an effect in the same way that if you said that to your daughter, it would probably have some effect, but simultaneously, you're giving her an insane complex and breaking her heart. And if you don't understand that, no matter what age you are, 50 or 60s or 30s or 20s, you're still that little girl. You are still that little kid that needs love and appreciation. You cannot hate yourself into being better. And every single time that you use those methods of motivation, you're hurting yourself. You're making it worse. Healthy living is built on everyday habits. And one of my favorites that I have been harping on for about a decade is hydration. It's so stinking important, you guys. And not just drink, drinking enough water, but making sure the water you're drinking is safe. With Aquasana filters, you get healthier, odor free water that tastes amazing. I told you guys that I brought the on the counter Aquasana filter out into my new office. We are out in the country now, so we're on well water, which is great, but I also just want to make sure that it's clean. Aquasana's advanced filtration removes harmful contaminants while preserving the beneficial minerals. So every sip supports better hydration. Visit aquasana.com and use promo code RACH for up to 50 off select systems. That's a Q, U A S A N A.com promo code R, A, C, H. Aquasana. Healthy living starts with healthy water. 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The other reason that this is dangerous is if we have some great days during the month and some bad days during the month. And in the middle, we've got those middays where we're trying to motivate, when we are trying to motivate Our brain does not go, please listen to me. It doesn't go to best case scenario. Okay, think about this. When you're in the mid level and you are trying to get yourself to do a thing, when you're like, I said I was gonna run three miles or, you know, I'm gonna go to the gym. Promised myself I'd go do a hundred, you know, squats or whatever crazy thing we tell ourselves. You don't imagine when it was at its best. Maybe you do. Maybe your. Maybe your mind works totally differently than mine. When I'm motivating, I'm not thinking best case scenario. I'm thinking how bad it hurts. I'm thinking how much it sucks. I'm thinking that it's hard. I'm thinking that it's cold. I went on a run this morning, 16 degrees. I promised myself I wouldn't go in less than 20, but I. I gotta move or I. I feel like I'm going a little nutty here. Loving being in New York. No, no shade to New York. It's just cold. It's been really cold. So I'm out there and I'm like, oh, man, it's gonna be so hard. I am not imagining crossing the finish line at a half marathon. I'm not imagining what it feels like on the other side. Our brain goes to worst case scenario. Worst case scenario. So everything about this system of motivation is twisted and it's wrong and it does not work. The actual idea of motivation isn't enough. It isn't enough. Let me tell you my experience with this because I got a lot, and this was a lesson that took me a really hard time to learn. The example that I use is weight loss. And I do not care what you weigh. This is not a conversation about being a certain size or having a certain body. But since I'm going to assume that most of the people who are listening to this right now are women, I feel like each and every one of us has our version of trying to get healthy and whatever that looked like for you, gaining more muscle. Maybe it was losing weight, maybe it was gaining weight, but we all have our version of that. Just, like, give me an emoji if that resonates with you at some point in your life, you have gone on a journey to try and get healthy. Okay, so you guys get this. So for me, I grew up in a family that was very unhealthy. I did not have examples of what it looked like to eat healthy. I had no examples of what it looked to work like, not even working out. Like, we just didn't really move our body. Neither of my parents were athletes. And just so we're clear, your parents can only give you what they got. And they didn't get it from their parents, and their parents didn't get from their parents. And I come from a long line of people who were trying to survive, and that is our family's history. And I'm so proud of my family for where it got to, but they just didn't have a lot of that information. And so I grew up using food as a coping mechanism, and I grew up binge eating. Let me know if this is something you've ever done. I really had a twisted relationship with food. And I'm not even gonna lie. In my teenage years, in my early 20s, like, I would say now I'm 43, and I'm like, if I'm gonna make a move in my nutrition or if I'm gonna go work out, it's because I want to be healthy and I wanna be strong. I wanna be a good mama. I wanna show up well in my life. Back then, let's be real. All I wanted was to be thin. All I wanted was Britney Spears. Stomach in. Hit me, baby, one more time. And if you are too young to know what that means, congratulations. You don't need a night serum, but I do. I just wanted to look like the girls on Total on trl. I wanted to be like the people I saw. I wanted to be Christina Aguilera. I wanted to look like that body. I didn't have that body. And so I started a really negative relationship with diet culture because that's all I knew. So from the time I was about 15 to the time I was like, in my mid-20s, I tried everything. Okay, I'm gonna say some things and you just give me a thumbs up or a heart if you ever tried this thing. Slim Fast, Atkins South Beach Diet, the master cleanse. Anyone remember the master cleanse? The cabbage soup diet? Absolutely disgusting. So awful. Don't do it. The going on Lean Cuisine. Living off Slim Fast. There was a time where I was taking a diet pill called xenodrin, which is for sure gotta be illegal now because I think it was just absolutely full on drugs. But I tried everything. I tried diet culture back in the day where we didn't have email. Your cousin would, like, print out the cabbage soup diet and, like, hand it out at family. Does have a family where you'd, like, get information with a printout at Thanksgiving. Good grief. Here's the thing. Everybody knows that those diets are awful and they don't and all that, but let's just, like, sit with this for a second. The diets work. You think I'm going in a weird direction. I'm not. I'm not telling you to get on a diet, but I want you to, like, grasp this for a second. If I go live off cabbage soup. Disgusting. I will lose weight. If I go do the master cleanse, of course I'm going to lose weight. The thing works that, like, little, you know, trigger. It works for a second, but it doesn't work long term because none of us can live off cabbage soup for the rest of our lives. We want an In N Out burger occasionally, you know, we want to love ourselves. We can't live that way. It doesn't work long term. It's the same with motivation. For me, I would go on the diet, and I'd lose a little bit of weight, but I would be so hungry, I would be hangry. And I would get to a place where I made it all day. I was so good. I would tell myself I was so good, as if my worth and my value were somehow tied to whether or not I had chips. But I'd be so good all day. And I get home, right? We all know what's gonna happen. You get home, you're tired, you're so hungry, you're so sick of salads. And maybe you even managed to eat the dinner that you planned. You meal prepped, you did the thing, you ate the din. You roll back into that kitchen a couple hours later, okay? And honestly, you're over it. You're over it. And if you have little kids, you're hitting the pantry, you're gonna grab some goldfish crackers. Now you've blown the diet. So you do that thing where you're like, well, I already messed up, so I'm just gonna eat everything in this kitchen. And as soon as you start eating, you feel better, right? Cause you're soothing that part of you that was so uncomfortable in this change. But then almost immediately, here comes that shame again. Here comes that shame. And once more, I don't blame the diet for not being sustainable. I blame myself for not being strong. And it's total BS because it's all twisted in my mind. But for years and years, I just followed that same pattern. I would go on the diet, I would lose the weight, then I would go bingy, and oftentimes I would gain more weight than before I started the stupid diet when I was at my most unhealthy. I was 52 pounds heavier than I am today. And I tell you that because I'm five two. So 52 additional pounds on my frame. I weigh between 125 and 130 right now. So imagine, just think about this for a second in your own life. It's sort of like imagine carrying 25 pounds of weight at the gym, but like putting that on my body, putting that on my frame. Like I was so young and I had all this inflammation and I felt like crap and I just could not figure it out. And I kept doing the same thing over and over. And at the beginning of the year I did what everyone I laid out my goals. I got my 24 hour gym membership. I signed up for the thing. I went and bought a cute little workout outfit, right? I went and bought the books. We call that in personal development. We call that buying some shelf esteem. Go out and buy the books. You never read the books, but you go buy all the books that are going to give you the answers to do the things. Because you are trying to find motivation outside yourself instead of inside yourself. It's time for some spring cleaning, guys. And even better, spring is the perfect time to reset your space. Good news, Wayfair has everything from outdoor furniture to patio decor to lighter bedding that instantly makes your home feel brighter. Plus you can get a head start on spring cleaning with the closet system, storage solutions and garage organ, all from Wayfair. Wayfair is my go to to upgrade my space with quality pieces that work within any budget. Plus I'm all about their fast shipping and the easy assembly options. Find furniture, decor and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. This is the Chase Sapphire Lounge in Boston. Logan, you got clam chowder in New York, dirty martini over 1300 airport lounges and one card that gets you in Chase Sapphire Reserve. Now even more rewarding. Learn more@chase.com Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JP Morgan Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval. Let's look at a different version. Maybe this doesn't resonate with health. Let's talk about entrepreneurs. Are there any entrepreneurs or business owners in this conversation? Let me know in the chat section section so I could see where you're at. I see some thumbs up. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so let me tell you what this looked like in my business. I've been an entrepreneur for over 20 years. I've had years where I lost a ton of money. I've had years where I've done eight figures. I've done everything in between. And when I was younger, in my entrepreneurial journey, I honestly had no idea what I was doing. So I was very much at the whim of whatever kind of response I got from the market. Market meaning When I was a wedding planner, if I was pitching potential customers and they like me and they booked me, everything was good and I felt motivated to keep pitching. Please tell me if this resonates with you, but let's say that I was pitching and I wasn't getting a response and people weren't booking me. Then I decided, you know what, world, you're right, I'm terrible at this. I'm a bad wedding planner. I shouldn't be trying to do this. And I didn't have the courage. And so I stopped putting myself out there and I stopped trying to get new clients until a wave would happen. A couple months later, I get motivated again and I try again. Does anyone do this in your business? Yes. I see all of you. Everybody is like, oh, my gosh, totally. It seems so silly because you would think, for those of you who don't own a business, you would think that we just know that we should be doing a thing the whole time. Right? But for a lot of us, we are relying on that outside force to sort of give us the push that we need to show up for our lives and to show up for our business. So every single time it would be working, I'd be pitching. And then when I felt it slow down, I'd stop pitching. And then again, shame. The problem is always that you are hoping that something's going to happen to make you want to show up. Hope is not a strategy. Hope is not a strategy. Hope is amazing. I hope you have faith in the future. I hope you're excited for what comes next. It is not a strategy. And if you are trying to grow your business this year, you need to have a process and you need to have a plan in place so that no matter what the market is telling you, you are still doing things that are going to bring business in. This is one of those things where really, truly we are creating our own reality. We are creating our own reality. I'm not going to get too woo woo with you today, though. I would love to, actually. I will. This is not a woo woo thing. This is just like, let's just play some science. I want you to look around whatever room you're in. If you're sitting in your car, if you're in your apartment, if you're at your desk at work, I want you to look around where you are, and I want you to take 10 seconds. I'm going to count to 10, and I want you to find as many red things in the room, okay? Just count how many red things you can see. Ready? Go. Six, six, seven, eight. Nine. Ten. Okay, really quickly, jump in the chat. Tell me how many red things you saw. 10, 7, 6. Great. 13, 9, 12. Y' all counted some red things. How many blue things are in your room? Right. You don't know. You'd have to go around the room and look for blue things and count the blue things. Right? The point of this exercise is to emphasize the idea that you don't see what's really there. You see what you are looking for. You don't see what's really there. You see what you're looking for in your room right now. There's also pink things and gray things and brown things. There's a rug, there's a heater, there's a book, there's a window. You don't see what's there. You see what you look for. And when it comes to business, when it comes to your life, when it comes to wanting to make changes, you have to decide right now that you know what you're looking for. This is why we start. We're gonna talk about the framework here in a second, but this is why we always start with a goal. This is why we always start with North Star. Where are we headed? What is the destination? That destination, whether that's growing your revenue, improving your health, becoming a better partner, becoming a better mama, whatever it is, is that is you deciding the reality. That is you saying, you know what? I believe that I am called to start a nonprofit. I believe that I can break a generational cycle. I believe that I can get my family out of debt. I believe that I can be an author. That is you deciding that that could be your truth. And in deciding that that could be your truth, you're like a horse with blinders on. You're not looking left, you're not looking right. You're like, we are headed right here. But that is you choosing your reality. Now, the brutal thing is that if you don't choose that reality, if you don't choose where you're headed, if you don't choose to look for the red things in the room. The world is gonna feed you what it thinks you should be looking at. Which, let's be honest, in 2026, is a disaster zone. It is a disaster. And we can be completely overwhelmed and take all of that in and doom scroll or watch someone do TikTok dances, or we can work on our life, this one precious life that we get to try for. We can decide where we want to go, and we can create a system around how to get there. And not just a system that will work when we're feeling motivated on those great days, those Disney character days, but the system that will work even when we feel like crap. Here's my big idea. What if becoming the person you want to be and building the thing you want to build and getting healthy, falling in love, all that stuff. What if the process of getting to that thing was as easy for you as brushing your teeth? Sounds weird. Sounds like. But just so we're clear, I'm not going to sell you anything at the end of this. I don't have a magic pill, unfortunately. I think I'd be a lot wealthier if I did. Unfortunately. I just keep telling you to, like, find it in yourself and do the work. But what if it was as easy as brushing your teeth? Let me break this down for you. I want you to think of habits in your life that are kind of weird and don't make sense, but you have to do them every single time. Okay? Just, like, think of that. Like. And I would love it if you put that. That in the chat. What are things that you do? Other people don't do these things. But you are like this. I. If you didn't do it, you. Your body would start to twitch. So I was thinking of some of mine when I wash my face. Since I was a teenager, when I wash my face, as soon as I rinse my face off, immediately I have to blow my nose. Sorry if that's gross. I have to blow my. I like, can't live if I don't. It's so stressful to me. I have to do it immediately. Okay. Another weird one of mine is when I get into bed at night, I have to start my. I try to fall asleep on my left side. I have to. I got a very specific position. Got a pillow here. Got a pillow between my legs. Feet are out. That's a part of perimenopause. Thank you. Hormones. And I have to face the left. They always have to put more lashes on my left lash. Cause they fall out here first. Okay. They also got to Put, like, a little bit more dysport up in the left side of my forehead, because that's what I sleep on. Okay. I have these weird things. If I put chapstick on, I gotta do this, like, thing with my mouth. Have to. If you were like, put the chapstick on and then do nothing, I'm gonna have a panic attack. Okay. I want to see if you guys do this, too. Make my bed the minute I get up. Before anything else, I have to have a clean space. So tidy wherever I am. Putting the kitchen to sleep each night. That is a great habit. Cleaning my ears after the show. Absolutely have to have things in place before bed. I thought I was the only one who hated brushing my teeth. Some of you. Oh, my gosh. My older sister. Not that she wants me telling her stories, but. Oh, my God, my older sister has, like, a phobia of brushing her teeth. I have to fall asleep with socks on, then kick them off in the middle of the night. Okay, so you guys get it. We all have, like, our weird little things that we have to do. Why does it feel so weird to not do those things? Because we have done them over and over and over and over. There's a fantastic book I read years ago called the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Fantastic book, if you like to read. I can also just give you a summation right now. Every single habit that you have in life, every single routine that you follow has a trigger. Something happens. It has a cue. Something happens, and then you do a thing, and you have associated the cue and the action so many times in your life. There's a. A saying, like, the neurons in our brain that fire together, wire together. It is wired together in your brain that you have to do it that way simply because you have done it that way so many times. It doesn't make it right. There's lots of people who don't do your habits, and we're all fine and thriving. But you have to do it, because in your brain, that's the way it's done now. Now, this can be really annoying when you have a negative habit, when you have something that you want to break and stop doing. Because now it's wired inside of you, right? But this can be super duper powerful. When you understand that there's an equation to make a habit happen, you can use that to your advantage. And this is what I want you to get into. The habit of doing is building the process to get where you want to go into your habits and routines means so you do not think about them anymore. Here's my framework. Here's what I think makes it possible for you to get where you're trying to go without relying on motivation, number one. And if you have hung out with me at all, you know what I'm about to say, but I do not care. You have to have a goal. I think every human being needs a goal. It doesn't have to be the same as my goal. It doesn't have to be the same as her goal. You must have a direction to head in life. Life. Let me break that into a bunch of different pieces and answer all the questions. I always get around this subject. If you're part of premium podcast, we did January's Deep Dive class was on goals, how to create a Northstar goal. And I broke it down for you into three different parts, because not everybody is wired the same, and also not everybody is in the same season. There are times in my life where I came into a new year and I was so excited I could do all the things. And then there are times in my life, maybe I just had a new baby or maybe I was going through grief and I did not have the capacity to aim at some massive goal. I just, like, didn't have it in me. But I still think that we should be heading in a direction, even if it's not an intense one. When I was laying out goals for our coaching class, I was trying to figure out a way that. That this could apply to anybody, no matter where you are. So I'm gonna lay out three different kinds of goals that you can aim at and figure out which one works best for you. Number one, aim at one thing. One thing. Another fantastic book called One Thing, the One Thing by Gary Keller, if you wanna grab that one, which essentially is this idea. You take everything that you are dreaming of, imagining, working toward. You put it all in a list, you write it down. You create your own version of my crazy notes. You write it all down and you're like, I want this and I want this, and I'd love this, and I want to pay off my mom's house, and I want to get in shape and I want to have a better relationship with my sister. You write down all the things, right? And then you look at your list and you say, what is the one thing on this list? That if that one thing were true, kind of every other part of my life would be awesome. In fact, if that one thing came true, I wouldn't even need to chase a bunch of these other goals, because that One thing would be so powerful that it's like a tide coming into the harbor. When the tide comes into the harbor, all the boats rise up. So what's the one thing on your list that you could chase? For me, this process of choosing one thing changed my life. The only reason you know who I am right now is because I spent five, six years chasing one thing. My one thing was to become a New York Times bestselling authority author. That was my goal. My goal was not to write a book. My goal was not to get published. My goal was to be a New York Times best selling author. Now when you aim at one thing like that, when you don't even have a book, when you've never finished a book, but you're aiming at accolades inside the industry you're trying to get inside of, you know that you're calling a shot that is potentially years away. But if everything is lining up to chase that one goal, magical things can happen. So every single morning, I would get up before my kids were awake and I would write on my book. And every single day I would write down in my goals. You guys know, this is how Start Today Journal came to be. I would write down, I'm a New York Times bestselling author. I'm a New York Times bestselling author. A New York Times best selling author. I did this for years and years and years. And then I would think every single time a book was coming out, I'd be like, this is it, this is it. I've been calling my shot. I've been working on this thing. And the book would come out and it wouldn't make the list. And I'd probably cry for a couple days, if I'm being honest. And then a couple days would go by and I'd be like, great, okay, next book. And then I'd spend another year writing another book. And then it would come out. Didn't make the list. I wrote six books before I ever got a New York Times bestselling book. And every single book did a little bit better and a little bit better and a little bit better. And every single time I'm like, this is where we're going, this is where we're going. And it taught me to fall in love with the process of trying to get somewhere instead of trying to like, oh, I just got to have this goal. Because if the only thing motivating you is the goal, but you're not going to reach that for potentially two or three or 10 years, what's going to keep you in the game, consistency beats intensity. Consistency beats intensity. Getting excited about a project, that's intense. Going to the gym for the first time, that's intense. Consistency is what you need. You need to show up even on the middays. You need to show up even on the days where you feel like crap. How different would your life be? Think about this. How different would your life be if you had just showed up every day? Just, like, sit with it for a second. Every day you didn't show up perfectly. But if every day for the last year, you had showed up literally seven days a week, you'd showed up for your life. And you know what I mean. You know exactly what I mean. You have your version of this, whether that was training for the race or writing the book or building the business. What if every day you'd showed up? And I'm not saying you didn't show up. I'm not saying you didn't work your butt off, but what if you did it every day? And this is not about hustle. This is not about grinding yourself into the ground. This is about, did I show up for my life today? Look, I have big dreams and big ambitions still today, after all this time, and someday showing up for my life is like, I'm gonna do some yoga stretches in the floor, and I'm gonna go sit and read this book that I think is gonna help me grow in some way. Every day doesn't need to look like running a marathon. But what if every day you were aligned with where you were headed and you made choices that were aligned with that future version of you? So that's the one thing goal, the second goal that you can pursue. And by the way, if you're listening to this, I think one of these is gonna be like a bell going off for you. If you're in touch with your intuition, if you're sort of listening in spirit, one of the things I'll say, you'll be like, ooh, that's what I should chase. Okay, here's my second kind of goal. This is for anybody who's coming out the other side of something hard. You had a big breakup. You're walking through grief. You got laid off from your job. Maybe something's going on hormonally. Maybe you're feeling sick, maybe you're fighting something. Whatever it is. The idea of adding, like, a one thing that feels overwhelming to you. So what your goal could be for 20, 26 is chasing a feeling. How do you want to feel at the end of this year? How do you Want to feel inside each and every day? Do you want to feel calm? Do you want to feel grounded? Do you want to feel present? Do you want to feel at peace? Like, what would it look like for you to not pursue something big and shiny and massive, but just to pursue feeling good in your spirit, being embodied, feeling good where you are right now? What would it look like for you to choose more joy, to choose showing up in a different way? And I like to remind people, as someone who is an enneagram3 super high achiever, always trying to get to the next level. There is no more faith based, abundant mindset than understanding that you don't have to chase something massive in every season. In fact, choosing to chase a feeling, choosing to pursue a way that you want to feel, is such an abundant mindset because you understand that even if right now isn't the time for you to chase something big, someday it'll be your turn again. There are seasons in this life, and every single one of us is gonna walk through a season of winter. Every single one of us will have seasons where we need to be planted more firmly in this ground. So it's okay for you to choose that right now? It's not a big thing. It's a feeling that you want in your heart. All right, the third kind of goal that you can pursue, and one of my personal things, waves, is a Persona. This is something I call future you. I do a lot of podcast episodes around this idea that you imagine who you want to be 10 years from now, and you're figuring out how you are going to become that version of you. This is like you do a guided meditation or you put some groovy music on and you just let your imagination run wild and you're like, in 10 years, if I was living my best life, this would be true. And this would be true. And here's what my relationships would look like. And here are the clothes that I would wear, and here's the restaurants that I eat at. I know it sounds silly to like pull those little details in, but the details are where the magic is. The details are how you paint a picture in your mind, sort of like a movie character. And then once you have that character, you go, okay, well, in order for that character to be made manifest, what must be true for me to become her or for me to become him. And then you build your process and your strategy around that pursuit. So three kinds of goals. I'm curious listening to them. This. What do you guys think is the goal that you want to Pursue this year. Do you like this idea of one thing? Do you like this idea of future you? Or are you chasing a feeling? Let me know in the comments section if there's one of those that really resonates. The one thing. Yes, the idea of the one thing. The one thing. Future you. One thing. Absolutely. Building the one thing in business. I see you there, Jolene. Really powerful. The feeling. Love this. And what's so cool, again, this comes back to the idea that, like, it's about you. It's about what works for your life. Not hers, not mine. Your life. Okay, so if you're taking notes, I want you to write this down. Number one in your framework is you must have a goal. You must have a north Star. And I call that, like, that's your destination. Where are you trying to get to? And for my enneagram one, perfectionist sisters, give me a heart. Heart. If you know that you are a perfectionist. Give me that. Give me that emoji. Love. If this is you, Listen to me, perfectionist queens. You will not choose a perfect goal. And in fact, you obsessing over the goal. Being perfect is keeping you stuck because you obsessing over the goal. Being perfect is you trying to control all the variables in your life, and you can't. Perfectionism is you trying to control something. Something, right, because we're safer if we can keep it inside of our control. If you are a perfectionist and that perfectionism creates analysis paralysis, and you end up staying right here and you feel like you're stuck to some extent. Please hear me, girl. Choose anything. I swear to you, this will work. Things happen when energy starts to move, and some of you have been sitting in the same place way too long. You're like, well, I'll do this, and then someday, and then some. Girl, move. Do something. Go somewhere. Choose anything. Even when you choose incorrectly, you create some energy in your spirit, in your environment. You just. You change it up. Go to a different coffee shop, go to a different grocery store, try and, like, expand your horizons and see what happens. And if three weeks from now you realize you picked the wrong goal, you can change it. But so many people obsess over it, needing to be exactly the right vision for their future, that they never do anything or get anywhere because they're so obsessed with needing it to be perfect. Why so many people stay single for longer than they need to? Because they get this idea in their head of, like, the perfect guy, the perfect girl. Here's my list. It's got to be all these Things that they create a world where they're just looking for red. Where are the red things? Where are the red things? You don't even realize that, you know, there's Stewie. Stewie's a blue thing or a purple thing or green thing, and Stewie would be awesome for you. But you're so obsessed with it, needing to be exactly the way you want it to be, to show up exactly inside your parameters, that you miss all these amazing things that could be yours. So if you're a perfectionist girl, choose a thing. Just go. I swear to you, just choose a thing. Okay, the first thing is the goal. Gotta have that. Gotta have the destination we're headed to. The second thing is the system. This. This is it. This is everything we are leading up to today. I want you to get obsessed with systems. I am in business, so systems are how we build our businesses. Systems are, I'm gonna do this thing, then I'm gonna hand it off to. To Andrew, who's our editor. Then I'm going to hand it off to Jack, who does this, and I'm gonna hand it to Kate, who does that. And we have a system for how something gets done. You need a system to get you closer to the destination that you have identified as where you want to go. Now, that looks like if you're chasing a feeling and you're feeling you want this year is calm, then maybe the system that you try is, okay, I'm going to try a breath work class, or I'm going to do some yoga, or I'm going to work with a coach, or I'm going to take 10 minutes every single morning and every single evening to just breathe in and out and feel calmer. The system is an equation that you create to try and get a certain result. So when we're creating a system, we have to think in two ways. First, we have to think in, let's try anything. And then once we identify what actually works, works, we have to figure out how we can do the system consistently. Okay, so let me break this down for you, and this might be one that you want to ask me. Q and A At the end, our first step, imagine the goal that you want to get to. Persona or feeling or one thing. Our first step then is, I'm going to try some things. I'm going to try some things. Now, I love. I do this. I start with the end in mind, and I work my way backwards from there. So if I wanted to be a New York Times bestseller, and I had never written a Book. Book. There are about a thousand things that stood in between where I was and where I wanted to get to. But I always start with the end result and then back up. Meaning if the end result is that you want to bake a chocolate cake, then what are the steps in between where you are now and the chocolate cake? Okay, well, I got to go to the grocery store and I got to get the ingredients, and then I'm going to turn the oven on, and then I'm going to mix them together, put them in the oven, they're going to bake. Then I'm going to get it out, we're going to cool it, we're going to ice it, and eventually I'll have a chocolate cake. Cake. Every single thing that you want to achieve in this life has a recipe just like that. And the reason that you don't have the thing that you want yet is just because you have not figured out the recipe. System is another word for recipe. System is another word for habit. System is another word for routines. So you have to be excited about the experimentation of figuring out what's going to work. Work. What is going to work for you. If I tried this, this, and this, did I feel calmer? Well, I felt calmer in the beginning, but then I sort of got anxiety because of this. So, okay, so the first two parts of my recipe work, but the third step is off. So you start to experiment and kind of play with ideas and try things. Step one, remember, is figuring out the equation to get from where you are to where you want to go. And, guys, I mean, this, like, so small in the beginning. If your goal is that you want to be healthy, healthy to me is I can run a half marathon without dying. Okay, that's a great one thing. Goal. Okay, cool. So the end result is the half marathon. And where you are now is like, I can't even walk half a mile, let alone run one. Awesome. So step number one is I'm going to just put on some sneakers and see how I feel. Wheel. Okay, I tried that. I was able to do it, but I felt like crap at the end. I don't know what I'm doing. Okay, well, I'll try a run coach. I'll go watch YouTube videos, I'll listen to a podcast, I'll get a book. It's all one big experiment to see what works. So step one, figure out the equation to get some traction against your goal. Step two, and this is the doozy. How can I continue to do this thing? Continue to move in the direction of the goal. Even on the bad days, even on the mid days, even without any motivation. The answer is you have to create that equation inside of an existing habit sequence. Okay, listen to me. Remember we were talking about brushing our teeth or blowing your nose or making the bed as soon as you wake up, all of those things have a cue. All of those things, you wake up and immediately you have to make your bed. That's the action. Cue plus action. Action. Cue plus action. Get obsessed with this idea. Cue plus action. You make the action in an existing habit the cue for something that you want to accomplish. You make the action in an existing habit that you already do the cue for the next thing you want to accomplish every single day. Cue. I wake up, I brush my teeth. That's the action. Bottle of water preset right there next to the sink. I chug a bottle of water. Because one of my goals is that I want to be healthier and I know that I need to hydrate more. Cue action. Let that action be the cue. It's called habit stacking. So if you can build routines that will allow you to meet the goals, that will allow you to move forward, that will allow you to make traction. The most incredible things happen. So you experiment with equations. Once you figure out equations that work, then you build those into existing routines. Yes. You could be like, well, I'm just going to have it be that I run every day at 7am that's awesome. That's a great experiment. Go ahead and try that. But if two weeks from now you're not still running at 7am, perhaps you try and stack that run on the end of something you're already doing. So maybe you're like, well, every single day, as soon as I walk in the door, I put my sneakers on and I go like you just attach it to something else. Because what you are trying to do is eliminate the friction of how hard it is to motivate yourself. You don't want motivation. You want something that you don't think about. Okay, goal system. Your sist. The goal is the destination. Your system is the engine. How are we going to get from where we are to where we want to go? The third thing that you must have is an expectation of time. You have to have a time expectation of how long it is going to take you to get there. And the time expectation needs to be based on some kind of reality. Right. If we are using this idea of maps, right? I said we have a destination and we have the engine, we have the car. That's going to get us there. If I open my phone, I'm like, well, I want to go to Poughkeepsie, which is a city in New York. I've learned recently if I want to go to Poughkeepsie, I'm going to put it in my map and I'm going to see how long is it going to take me from where I am to get to Poughkeepsie. So I have some rough idea that if I have been driving for six hours, I'm on the wrong road. So many of y' all are working. You are working so hard. You are trying so hard. You are putting so much effort in and you're not getting any traction. And it's because you don't realize you. You're not. We're all over the place. We're on the wrong road. We have the wrong map, we have the wrong engine. Some of us have the wrong goal. If you have some idea of how long the thing might take, it will give you some parameters about where you should be in the process. So for me, trying to be a New York Times bestseller was like, this could take 10 years. It didn't take 10 years, it took six. But telling myself that I had 10 years to make something happen took a ton of pressure Off. Off to the same extent. If you're like, I have all year to get in shape, whatever that means for you, you're probably less likely to put the effort in than you would if you said that you only had three months. When we decided to move from California to New York, which is something that my family did recently. Originally we weren't. Originally we weren't going to move until my junior in high school was completely out of high school school. And then we're like, we can't wait that long. LA is slowly stealing our will to live. And so we're like, okay, well, we'll move this summer. Our plan was to move this summer, but in my brain I'm always trying to figure out, can it be done faster? So then I'm like, okay, well, in order for us to move sooner, how would that happen? Okay, well, it would have to happen between the Christmas break and the new year, because that makes sense for the kids. Schools. Okay, in order to do that, then what must be true? And I just of kind keep backing it up and seeing if I can make it shorter. But a timeline is incredibly powerful when it comes to your goals. The last thing that is super important when we are trying to figure out how to get from where we are to where we want to go is our environment. Everything in this system, everything in this process is you wanting to set yourself up for success. So I need you to hear me right now. The environment that you find yourself inside of, meaning the people that you hang out with with, is a huge factor in whether or not you are going to be successful in getting where you want to go. If you are hanging out with the kind of people who do the kind of goals that you're pursuing, best case scenario, if you are surrounded by people who are also caring about their health, who are also trying to do things, who are also eating, you know, the, the veggies, right? It's going to be way easier for you to stay on plan if you are surrounded by people from your past who love Taco Tuesday, who are always encouraging you, oh, have dessert with us. Oh, come on. Like, it's not that big a deal. It's just a piece of cake. Because they don't understand that for you, a piece of cake is way more than a piece of cake. For some of us, a piece of cake is like our whole shame spiral on one little plate. You know what I mean? Like, it's so much bigger. So the people that you spend time with are hugely impactful in whether or not you're going to be able to do this thing. And the other flip side of that is, like, sometimes people accidentally sabotage because they don't understand that the thing they're doing is actually going to totally throw you off. And if we're being honest, guys, sometimes people sabotage us on purpose. And I know that that is harsh, but I've also done this work a long time, so I know that there are some of you who this is going to resonate. Does anyone in your life right now actively dislike that you are trying to change? Does anyone in your life, maybe they're passive aggressive about it, maybe they say things, maybe they flat out make it hard for you, maybe they flat out challenge you. Yes. Like, so many people understand this because when you decide to change your life, it will activate something in anyone else in your life life who is not changing. When you work on yourself in any capacity, when you work on your business, when you get focused, when you say, you know what, I'm not, I'm not going to drink anymore, or you know what, I'm going to get healthy, like I'm going to do. When you do that, it holds a mirror up to them. All of a sudden you're a reflection of all the choices they are not making. And this is so Harsh. But people who want to stay in their comfort zone, people who want to stay in mediocrity want to drag you back down to mediocrity with them. They do not want you to change. That doesn't mean they're evil or they're bad. We're all on our own journey. We all got our own stuff. But the reality is you can very easily be thrown off track by someone speaking into the exact fears that you have about what you're doing. Well, what'll happen, you know, are you sure that's okay? Well, what happened to the kids? If you start a business, what'll happen to those babies? Like, they'll speak into the exact fear that you have, which will, like, reinforce the shame that you are already dealing with. And you're like, oh, my gosh, you're so right. Like, I can't. That's why I was saying, like, the process. As a business owner, if you have a process that no matter what you're pushing yourself out there, no matter what you're getting that workout in, no matter what you're doing, the thing that can't be stopped. I don't believe in motivation, but I sure as heck believe in momentum. Something incredible happens when you're in this, like, flywheel of energy, and it just, like, keeps going, keeps going, keeps going, and you don't have to push so hard anymore. Understand that when you are trying to change something in your life, you are like Sisyphus pushing that boulder up the hill. It is so hard. It feels so sloggy. It feels so intense. But eventually, you keep doing it, man. You start to flow, you start to get. It starts to work. There is something incredibly powerful in who you hang out with. And I know. Know that not everybody is blessed to have just, like, a community of people who are into working on themselves. But you gotta find it, and you can find it in a bunch of different ways. I always found my people online. Like, I went and did things like this, or I got into. This is so old school, but I got into Facebook groups. I learned, you know, how to be an author by being an author. Facebook groups. And when I would get in that group, then they would say, oh, we're going to this conference. And then I get to go to the conference, and. And I really found my way by surrounding myself with awesome people. So there's lots of ways that you can do that. We have a few. We do the premium podcast, if you like this kind of coaching session. I do this once a month. We record these great classes Every single month. It's video, it's audio, it's in the podcast. You get all our podcasts. No ads at all. It's $10 a month. We do the coaching program. I'm curious if any of you are actually in the coaching program. Did any of y' all come today? Um, so we have an incredible coaching cohort, and that one is closing this Friday. Like, we are about to go into a 90 day challenge. And I made the decision that nobody could join after the 90 day challenge because I think something really powerful happens when you're in a closed group. So if coaching has been on your heart and you've been thinking about it, this Friday is your last chance. And we are not doing another like, you cannot get in. It's done. Because I honestly care more about the results of the women who are in this group than I care about about just adding a bunch of other people. Terrible entrepreneur. And then the last one is Rise Conference. This is not something I got to say last month, but our Rise Conference, Rise Elevate. If you've ever heard about our conferences specifically designed for people who have businesses. So this isn't for everybody, but if you are building a career or a business, Rise Elevate is coming up in Austin next month and we're so excited and it's going to be awesome. And yeah, you can find out about all of these details, but. But I really cannot emphasize this enough. You do not have to buy your way into anything. You don't have to. Like, we, obviously, we are a company, so we have these things. But I did this for free. For years. I found every single online group I could join. I found stuff in my local community I made. I scheduled appointments with myself to read the books, to watch the YouTube videos. I scheduled appointments to learn if there's something that you want to do. And I don't say this in a mean way. You don't yet have the knowledge that you need. If you had the knowledge that you needed, you'd already be her. But you're not her, which is not something to feel shame about. It's just you to understand. Oh, I just don't have the knowledge yet. But the knowledge is out there. Of course it is. And in a world with this much information and AI like, it's all available for free. Everything that you want to do is available for free. Free. So please, please, please create some kind of process for yourself. Y' all do one thing. Literally one thing. Add one thing to your calendar this week that's gonna help you get closer to the goal and to the person that you wanna be. Yeah. Do one thing. I have loved hanging out with you guys. I'm so glad that you are here and I hope that this time together felt helpful. I can't believe we still have this many people who are watching. I would love it if you came and hung out with us in another forum. But. But if nothing else, I hope you got some info and I hope you were inspired to just put some things in your schedule, put some things in your calendar. Literally. It can just be like learning time or focus time or, you know, system time. Just. Just block out your calendar with some days so you can ideate on what you might be able to do and things you might be able to experiment with that are going to get you closer to the goal. But stop saying that you need to get motivated. You don't need to get motivated. You need a process. And if process is a weird word for you, tell yourself, I don't need to get motivated. I need a habit. And let's go one step further. I don't need to get motivated. I need a habit stack. I need to. I will need to stack a good habit on top of something else. I already do. Naturally. Yeah. It's February, guys. I hope the year's off to a great start. We will be back soon with more conversation and until then, as always, I love you and I'm rooting for you. The rachel hollis podcast is produced by me, rachel hollis. It's edited by andrew weller and jack noble. If you, your parent or spouse served in the military, you could join our family. Our members saved an average of $70 a month on auto insurance when they switched. Tap the banner or visit usaa.com join today to check your eligibility restrictions apply. Start your day with Quaker Protein Instant Oatmeal. The Instant Oatmeal. Ready to help you tackle whatever your day brings. Like wrangling your toddler into their car seat. That was fun. Coaching your 6th graders soccer team. Go girls. And carrying all the groceries trees in one trip. Try Quaker Protein Instant Oatmeal Granola and bars. Great taste and a good source of protein. 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Episode 935 | Motivation NEVER Works Longterm… Do This Instead (Live Webinar Recording)
Host: Rachel Hollis
Date: February 16, 2026
In this live-recorded webinar episode, Rachel Hollis unpacks the myths of motivation and why it never works as a long-term strategy for life change. Instead of relying on fleeting feelings, Rachel shares a four-part framework centered around building systems, honest self-reflection, and leveraging habit-stacking for real, sustainable progress. Through candid personal stories, audience interaction, and actionable insights, she guides listeners to shift from shaming themselves for inconsistency to designing supportive routines and environments for growth.
Rachel lays out three different ways to frame your direction, each valid in different seasons:
(See Timestamps for the start of this segment.)
On Motivation versus Habit
“Stop saying that you need to get motivated. You don’t need to get motivated. You need a process. And… I don’t need to get motivated. I need a habit stack.” (01:55:40)
On Consistency:
“Consistency beats intensity. Getting excited about a project, that’s intense. Going to the gym for the first time, that’s intense. Consistency is what you need.” (01:15:40)
On Honest Beginnings:
“If you can actually face where you are… then you can actually take steps to make things better. But if you are not being honest about where you are, then you try and make things better from a false starting point.” (24:22)
On Environment:
“Who you hang out with is a huge factor in whether or not you are going to be successful… Not everybody is blessed to have just like a community of people who are into working on themselves. But you gotta find it.” (01:44:15)
Rachel is upbeat, humorous, relentlessly honest, and direct. She uses real-life language, playful analogies, and forthright encouragement, creating a warm but no-nonsense atmosphere for listeners struggling with the gap between ambition and follow-through.
This summary distills the entire content (excluding ads, intro, and outro), captures all key insights, practical steps, and Rachel’s engaging voice, making it an ideal guide for listeners and non-listeners alike.