← The Rachel Hollis Podcast
The Rachel Hollis Podcast
953 | ASK RACH: My Favorite Over-the-Counter Supplement for Anxiety, How I'd Start Figuring Out My Hormones, My Best Advice to Stop Scrolling (Romantasy novel?)
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In this episode of Ask Rach, Rachel responds to listener questions with a mix of practical advice and motivational “big sister” guidance, covering topics like managing menopause symptoms, breaking social media addiction, and training for a race. She emphasizes that long-term well-being comes from understanding one’s body and addressing root causes like stress and nutrient deficiencies rather than just symptoms. She also advises replacing unhealthy habits (like excessive phone use) with more fulfilling alternatives and using free resources to learn new skills, framing idle time as an opportunity for personal growth. Overall, the episode blends wellness education with mindset coaching, encouraging listeners to take control of their habits, health, and future through intentional choices and self-awareness.
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Your hormones are going to be greatly increased by stress. The more stressed you are, the harder your periods are going to be. The more PMS you're going to experience, the more mood fluctuations. It all is such a pain in the butt, literally, but it's true. So getting a lot of those things under control can help you with the moods that currently make you feel like you need to be on adaptogens which like I said are super helpful but do have side effects. So tons of information for you and I hope something that I said was helpful. But the big thing, you, me, Aunt Linda, every woman listening to this needs to get on is knowledge about our body. Knowledge about how it works and how to work with it. There is mad power in our cycle if we understand what to do during different times of the month to best support ourselves. Okay guys, welcome to Ask Rach. This is one of my favorite traditions here on the podcast because I get to hear from you.
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Hey Rach. Hey Rach. Hi Rachel.
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Every single week you guys call the hotline, tell me what's going on in your life and I give you real talk and tough love and the big sister energy you didn't know you always needed. So if you've got a question about life, love, work, parenting, how to find your purpose, honestly, anything, call me and spill it. 737-400-4626 and your question might just show up right here on the podcast. Let's see what the community is asking about today. Hi guys, it's Rach. Welcome to a new episode in our Ask Rach series where y' all call in and leave me a voicemail. And I do my very best to give some good Big Sister advice or maybe a little tough love or maybe some motivation, whatever it feels like the situation calls for. I think you and I should just jump right on into this week's questions. So we'll jump in with this one.
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Hey Rachel, My name is Kathy. I have been listening to you goss since Pre Texas. Way Pre Texas. Anyways, this is my first time reaching out to you because you had mentioned on a podcast a long time ago and I can't seem to find it that you were a fan of Holy Basil. I know that you're no longer taking it. I also know you're not a doctor, but I am going through the roller coaster that is menopause and feeling all the feelings. I'm just looking for something that is somewhat natural to kind of take the edge off things. And I've been doing a lot of reading. I actually got some Holy Basil. I got it in liquid or tincture form and been taking it for about two months and really haven't noticed much. So I. I'm just taking it straight right out of the bottle. It tastes really good, but I'm just curious how you took it. What form? Was it a tea or was it a leaf? Or did you do the tincture as well? What you noticed, what I should be looking for, how long it took to take effect? Maybe I just haven't given it long enough. It's probably been about six to seven weeks. So anyways, just wondering again, with knowing that you do not have a medical background in this, but just one girl to another, if you can share what your experience was like with Holy Basil. Thanks so much.
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All right, sister, I have all sorts of follow up questions and comments, so in no particular order, let's just dive right on in. I am a huge fan of Holy Basil, so why don't we start there? For people who might not be as familiar with adaptogens and how they work and how they can be helpful, I like to describe an adaptogen as something that helps your body to adapt. I know it's really clever on my part. I learned about them years ago when I was struggling pretty severely with anxiety and I was having debilitating anxiety. I now understand that my poor little nervous system was so fried from being overworked and from being on stage all the time and not really understanding how to manage being, going to those super high, high, high. You know, you're speaking to 20,000 people on a stage, and then all of a sudden you're, you know, in a hotel room by yourself and you're going to do this over and over. And it just. It was a whole lot, and I didn't know how to deal with it. And over time, it led to some pretty big dysregulation in my nervous system. And somewhere along the way, I went and saw a naturopath doctor and talked to them about how I was struggling. Again, I want to clarify, in case anyone doesn't know, naturopath is when you are looking at all the different ways that you know the body functions and you're trying to supplement with things that are natural. So instead of going to medication, let's say you might go to herbs or vitamins or different things that might support the parts of your body that are struggling. Giving them a little extra support can sometimes give you the relief that you're seeking. And for my anxiety, I. I tried a few different kinds of adaptogens, because there are a bunch. Some work for some people and others work for others. And Holy Basil was what I loved. I've only really ever taken it at night. Which brings me to my first question for you. Holy basil makes you a little bit sleepy. Not a lot, but it definitely chills you the heck out. So I'm already a little concerned is not the right word, but I'm already a little curious what your dosage is in your tincture. So I take Holy Basil in capsule form. I take two of them, and I mean, I can just look on my Amazon. Hold on. I'll tell you exactly which brand I use, because I still take it sometimes. And whenever I send people, I take Gaia herbs. Gaia is a pretty popular brand, but I take Gaia herbs and let me see if it'll tell us. It tells me that the herbal extract blend, I'm reading the back of the bottle has 363 milligrams of holy basil. And I take two. So where I'd first start is, what is your tincture amount? Because maybe you're not taking enough. I honestly have never heard someone say that they have taken it for three months and not felt anything. If I went in the house right now and took one, I would be unable to work for the rest of the day. That's how much it affects me. And I am a little bit of a wuss. So, you know, bear that in mind that things that would absolutely not affect a normal human. Just will, you know, fell me like an ox. Do people fell oxes? I don't know. I just made that up. But you get my point. I. I'm a little bit of a weakling, so things do affect me more. But, yeah, I've never heard someone, even people I've recommended it to, friends I've given it to. If I've had one of my kids, let's say I've had my teenagers at different points who started to really struggle because of something going on, or when their dad passed away. And I gave them one capsule, even that made them sleepy. So my instinct is maybe you're not quite taking enough. I love it. I also realize that it's not something I can take long term because it makes me a little rummy. Like, I can't think straight. Even if I take it at night and I kind of sleep it off the next day, I don't feel like my brain is firing as quickly as I need it to. I started to notice that cognitively, I wasn't where I wanted to be. I'd be on stage and I'd kind of lose words, like, I wouldn't know how to finish a sentence, or maybe I'd be recording a podcast for y', all, and I couldn't sort of get there quickly. And that is what made me realize I had to find another path. And I'm really glad that I did, because it forced me to go down paths that actually truly helped the anxiety go away, not just cover it up. But believe you me, there was a very long time where I think if I hadn't had the adaptogens to help mute those symptoms, I don't know where I'd be. Like, it was really, really helpful. I think there are times in life where we really need the thing that treats the symptoms. And then I think there are times in life where we have a bit more capacity and we're ready to take things on in a bigger way. So when I needed it, it was there, and I'm so grateful for it, and I always recommend it if people are struggling with anxiety. I have had it in herbal form, like tulsi is often mixed into certain teas, like sleepy teas that help you at night. And I've definitely had tulsi in my teas. But, yeah, I like a capsule. I think this kind of far and above anytime that we're trying to take a certain amount of something, you really want to make sure that, you know how much is in the form you're taking. So for whatever that's worth, now, I'm going to also add some elements to this you didn't ask about, which is. First, I really want to recommend that you get super excited about learning how your body works, specifically learning how your body works and in param menopause. So perimenopause is all of the time before menopause, which is one day in our life. I'm going to say that again because the world and TV and movies have taught women this so incorrectly. And we don't even know how to talk about our own bodies. Actual menopause is one day. One day you no longer get your period. That's menopause. Menopause isn't a time period. It's one day. The time period that you're referring to when your hormones feel whacked out is perimenopause. Peri means before. And the brutal, horrible truth is that perimenopause can last up to 15 years. And it's so rude because it is a really hard time period to be going through and to have your hormones fluctuating and to feel a bit out of control. I want you to get turned on by the idea of learning about your body, because if you're calling this time period menopause, it means you don't know enough. And I'm saying that with so much freaking love. And I'm saying that as someone who literally learned this six years ago, I did not grow up with this information. I got into perimenopause throughout, thought I was losing my mind because I was so out of control emotionally. And in that process, really went on a journey to understand what was going on with my body. Now, there have been approximately 600 million books written on this time period in the last five years because it became such a hot topic. I still stand by the fact that my favorite book on our bodies is a book called Period Power by Maisie Hill. I have recommended it so many times because I think she's funny. And I also think she does a really good job of explaining how our bodies work that isn't specifically about perimenopause, but I just think it's a really good overview of what the heck is going on inside of our uterus, with our hormones, with the different phases of our cycle, and it's really, really helpful. Now, my next piece of advice is beyond having something that can treat the symptoms that are making you feel a bit out of control, one of the best things that you can do is find a naturopath doctor who specializes in women's hormones. And I know not everybody has access to that and not everybody has resources, but if you have the ability to find a doctor like that, the first thing that they're going to do is have your blood work done. And inside of that blood work, you are going to get information that is so helpful. Like, you might see that your mood is swinging because you're really low in B vitamins, which happens a lot to women, particularly at this age. Or maybe you find that you're going into a little depression after your period, and it turns out your period's too heavy and you have an iron deficiency. So taking some iron or eating some red meat or adding more spinach can really help improve your mood. And, oh, by the way, let's get those heavy periods under control so you're not bleeding so much, so you don't have all of these symptoms happening at once. There's a lot of information in your blood work that can be super helpful. The other thing that's annoying but also so true is that your hormones are going to be greatly increased by stress. The more stressed you are, the harder your periods are gonna be. The more PMS you're gonna experience, the more mood fluctuations. It all is such a pain in the butt, literally, but it's true. So getting a lot of those things under control can help you with the moods that currently make you feel like you need to be on adaptogens, which, like I said, are super helpful but do have side effects. So tons of information for you, and I hope something that I said was helpful. But the big thing, you, me, Aunt Linda, every woman listening to this needs to get on is knowledge about our body, knowledge about how it works and how to work with it. There is mad power in our cycle if we understand what to do during different times of the month to best support ourselves. Okay, don't tell anybody, but we're trying to buy a new house. All right? We're trying to buy a new house. And not only are we trying to buy a new house, but we are buying a house that's, like, essentially my dream house. And it is my dream house because there is more fabulous outdoor space than even, like, I don't even pay attention to what's going on in the house because the outdoors is so much fun. If you love being outside in the spring and the summer, just like I do, we're gonna do a whole makeover on Wayfair. Okay? Wayfair is the place to get all the things you need for every part of your house, but this time of year, most especially to make that outdoor space so elevated, so fabulous, so comfortable, so ready for a little spritz out on the patio. They have filters, they have customer reviews, they have visual tools that help you to actually imagine which items will look good in your space. With everything from seating to grills, lighting and decor, Wayfair is your one stop. Shop for home. Get prepped for patio season. For way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W A Y F a I r a.com Wayfair Every style, every home. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I have been going to therapy on and off since I was a kid and I actually just got back from a week long trauma therapy retreat because I believe that therapy is something we do during any part of our life where we feel like we need some extra support. And it just so happens that May is Mental Health Awareness month, which is a really good reminder to check in with yourself and see if you might need a little extra support. The things that I struggled with in my early 20s are very different than the things I struggle with at 43 and they are no less valid than they were back when I was younger. In fact, I would say they're even more important to get a handle on because as I get older, I don't want to carry these things with me into my future future. Having someone to listen to you, to understand and to support you in accessing tools that you will need can make all the difference. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. In fact, you can really quickly get matched with a therapist by taking a short questionnaire to identify your needs. And we love BetterHelp because if that therapist doesn't work for you, you can get matched with someone else really quickly. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up to get 10% off betterhelp.com Rach that's B E T T E R h e l p.com Rach
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all
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right, let's go to question number two.
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Hey Rach, my name is Danielle and I wanted to ask you. I find myself really addicted to looking at my phone every day on social media. I'm actually a pet sitter, so I spend a lot of time alone and I just want to think about ways to get off of my phone, off of social media, be more productive, have a more fulfilling life as being someone home a lot on my own with Not a lot to do. I just feel unmotivated. And all I do is look at social media and I just really don't want to waste away my life doing that. So I'd love your advice on how to help myself not go to my phone as a source of entertainment and just find more fulfillment. Thank you.
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Great question. Danielle and I have a bunch of different ideas. Some of these are going to be, I hope, kind of intellectual and smart and helping you to figure out your future. And others are just going to be big sister advice that if you came to me and you said, first step, number one goal, I got to get off this phone so much. You know, go read a book about a fairy falling in love with a princess. Go, go see if you can't find a series where a vampire falls in love with a witch or whatever your version of that is. Now maybe someone listens to this and they think, oh, wait, what's the difference? Like, oh, she's gonna go read a book and she's gonna fall into romantasy, or she's gonna fall into science fiction, or she's gonna get really into just another thing that she's wrapping her mind in. But in my professional opinion, and my professional opinion is someone who has been doing this kind of work with women who for a freaking decade, stopping something cold turkey and actually sticking with it is, like, reserved for Yoda. Like, I don't know who's doing that. It ain't me and it ain't most of you. Most of us have a really strong response to any sort of strict, harsh parameters we give ourselves about never touching something again. So I actually think it's a huge waste of time to just tell you, like, oh, we'll go do something. Improving. No, because your scrolling is helping you to think about something else. Like you said, it's entertaining. It's something to do while you're doing a job that maybe is a little bit boring to you. So you need to find something to replace it with. It's why when we do last 90 days or I talk about five to thrive, one of the things that I suggest people do is give up a category of consent consumption. So maybe that's food or alcohol or cigarettes. And my advice is always to give up one category even if you replace it with another. So I'm like, if you give up soda, but you replace it with fruit punch, most people would be like, well, that's stupid. Like, you're. You're just trading one sugar for another. Yes. But you're also teaching your brain that you don't need to reach for this thing, thing that has become a habit in your life. So for you, I'd find something. I hope it's reading because that's one of my favorite things. But if it's not that, then maybe it's games or, you know, you're going to get really into cross stitch or you're going to get really into. You're going to get really into those pictures that you paint by putting stickers on it. Like, girl, I don't know what it is, but you need to find something to replace the negative habit with. So that's my first piece of advice. See if you can't find a Highland warrior who falls in love with an English lass. Can you find that somewhere? I think you can. You might enjoy it. You might surprise yourself, Danielle. You really might. My next salute for you is appreciating the fact that you are looking for something to improve the quality of your life while you do this thing that I assume you don't want it to be your job forever. Maybe you do. Maybe you want to be a pet sitter forever, or maybe you want to open like a dog boarding facility. But even in that case, it's going to look like you improving the quality of your life and trying to figure out entrepreneurship. So even in that scenario where you still want to work with animals, you've got some stuff to learn. And this time period for you is a huge opportunity that, like, you could literally teach yourself anything. You could take a sales course, you could learn accounting, you could learn how to work with AI, you could learn how to be an entrepreneur, you could do so many things with this time and you could find all of those things on the Internet for free. Now, back when I started saying this line that like, everything you want to know is on the Internet for free, it really was. And it was easy to find because people were sharing so much information. I do think now it's a little bit harder because if I'm being truthful, I think kind of everyone and their brother became a content creator. And then everyone and their brother was like, I'm a content creator, so I'll tell you how to do a thing that I've done three times. And then all of a sudden you're getting advice from people who aren't experts, which is a bit dangerous because you don't really know. And maybe you head off in a whole wrong direction. My point before I go down a crazy rabbit hole around the state of educational content today is just to make sure that wherever you're getting your information from, that it's from a legit source. I still believe that you can figure out everything that you want to know for free on YouTube, for free in the books, at the library, for free on podcasts. Like, I really do think that you can find that information. And maybe if somewhere along the way you find someone who you really dig, you feel like their advice is really working and they have this paid thing. Well, at that point, I feel like you trust them to go do that course or whatever. But I wouldn't rush out and think that the way that you're going to learn is to immediately go, like, enroll in a course and spend a bajillion. No, man, head on over to YouTube and start looking up the stuff that you're interested in. And then let's say you go to YouTube and you start looking up people who've built a business around dogs and you get some ideas and you think, oh, I'd love to start a boarding house. I'm totally making up a future for you, Danielle. But let's say you're like, oh, I'd love to go start a boarding facility. Well, now you want to stop watching content about people who are doing that thing and start watching content. Start consuming education around the parts of that business you don't currently understand. How do I rent a building for the first time? How do I put a contract together? How do I get insurance? How do I find employees? Like, whatever it is you're trying to do, make a giant, like, brainstorm of all the stuff that you're going to need and then start exploring and see what you find. But you have this incredible opportunity right now where you've got some space in your day where the dog doesn't need you and you can use that time for education. One more little practical piece of advice that I thought as you were speaking is I would also just consider using the time that you are dog sitting to go to places like, can you go take a long walk in the park, which you probably are already doing with the dog, Right? But can you use that as an opportunity to meet other people? Can you go to a coffee shop? Can you. Basically, if you are sitting around at home or at your client's home and you're scrolling there, you. Can you shake up the environment? Can you get yourself out of the space that you're in? Because what happens in our brains is they sort of connect the dots. Like, if you've ever gotten in your car and you do the same thing every time I Put my seat belt on, I turn the AC on, I turn the radio. Like you do the same thing every time. It's because your brain has a sequence of events that happens every time you get in the car. It's going to be the same for you in scrolling. So don't put yourself at the beginning of the sequence of events that leads with you scrolling. Change it up. It's like these little tricks that we can use to hack the system. Your brain is wired to make you keep doing this thing and when you open your phone, your phone is wired to keep you on the platform. So you keep doing this thing. So you're going to have to work really hard to navigate around it. But I love the idea that you would use this time to work on the person you want to become and not just stay here and stay stuck and consume other people's lives instead of going out and living your own.
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Before we jump into this last piece of advice, if you dig hearing advice from me and maybe you're listening to something like this at the start of your personal development journey and you're like, okay, I'm like, Danielle and I really want to figure out how to do something to change my life. The easiest and simplest creation that we have as a company for you is the premium version of this podcast. So these free episodes, they're to give you ideas, they're to help you with perspective or to shift how you're thinking. And there's something that you can listen to while you're doing the dishes or while you're driving or while you're hanging out with a dog, okay? But the premium episodes are different. Once a month I drop essentially like a masterclass on a particular topic. Those are not passive listening. Those are meant to be a class. So I go way deeper. Last month we did six steps to build a morning routine that actually lasts. And the feedback we got on that one was amazing. In that episode, I walk you through the full framework, the step by steps. And the really cool thing about the Deep Dive episodes is they come with a workbook so you can download it, you can work through it with me in real time. Those podcast episodes are both audio and video, plus the workbook. And they're for people who don't just want to be inspired, they want to actually follow through. And here's my favorite part. Premium podcast is $10 a month. For $10 a month, you get an hour long Deep Dive class, video, audio, worksheet. Plus every episode of this show there are over a thousand ad free. So you never have to listen to me say an ad ever again. You get all of that for 10 bucks a month. And we created it at that rate because I wanted you to have something that was just like a little bit of an investment. It's not like coaching cohort, you're not coming to a Rise conference. It's just a little something to see if a personal development journey is up your alley. Because it's not for everybody. Not everybody wants to take the time, not everybody wants to invest. That's cool. We'll still be here with all the freebies for you. But if you are interested in the idea of a Deep Dive next month, I'm focusing on something that I think is at the root of so many issues with the members of this community, which is how to trust yourself again. How do you trust yourself? If you have ever started and stopped something, if you have ever quit over and over again, if you have ever made mistakes that you still beat yourself up four years later, if you've ever broken a promise to yourself and then that sort of becomes your new identity. How in the world are we supposed to rebuild confidence in a real practical way? Like how do we become the kind of people who actually do what we say we're going to do? How do we keep promises to ourself? If that's something that you feel like you're ready for, you can check out the premium subscription. Wherever you're listening, there'll be a link in the show notes and you'll get all of the episodes I've done this year so far. So starting in January to where we are today, there's a great community that goes in and comments on each other and shares details. Really, really cool. It's there whenever you're ready to go deeper. Now let's go deeper with our last question of the day.
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Hi, Rachel. I am currently training for a 10k and I know that you've shared multiple times on the podcast that you have run marathons in the past, and I just wanted to see if you had any tips or tricks for training. I actually just finished 5k today and I just wanted to see if you had any tips or tricks. I absolutely love your show. I listen all the time. I'm here in New York and love to hear from you. Thanks.
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Well, fabulous. This is going to be the quickest and coolest answer I could ever give you. We just did an episode on this on Monday and I swear I did not plan you asking this question right now. It's just how fate lined it up. So on Monday, I did an episode called I've run over 5,000 miles and here's my best running advice. And that sounds like it was totally made for you, but it's like advice for me, obviously not advice from a running coach. So it's things like, you know, a sports bra that'll support the girls so they don't flop around and hit you in the face and what kind of running shoes you need and how you need a plan and how you need a community and all that stuff. So if you are interested in that episode, it's episode 952, and it is the episode directly before this one. So it'll be really easy to go back and listen. If y' all have questions for Ask Rach 737-400-4626 call in and leave us a little voicemail and we will maybe incorporate it into an upcoming episode of the show. If you're joining us in Chicago next week for Rise Elevate, we are so freaking pumped to hang out with you. And if you are, if you didn't even know that was a thing, you better go check. I think you can still. You can still get it. You definitely could still get in virtually. I don't know if you'll be able to get in in person by the time you hear this, but it's worth a shot. If you are working on your business or your dreams and you want to spend a whole day with me diving deep and figuring out the psychology and the mindset and all that jazz. Yeah, we're gonna be in Chicago next week for Rise and. And I'm so happy that y' all are here. I'm so happy you're on this journey with us. I will be back soon with more conversation. Until then, as always, I love you and I'm rooting for you. The rachel hollis podcast is produced by me, rachel hollis. It's edited by andrew weller and jack noble.
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There's a fire inside you you can't ignore. Stand still. Not a chance. You're a lifelong learner who's come this far. Now we are here to help you keep going.
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Further.
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Capella University what can't you do? Visit capella.edu to learn more.