← The Rachel Hollis Podcast
The Rachel Hollis Podcast
959 | 9 Tiny Habits That Make Your Day Feel Instantly Lighter
00:47:31
Upgrade to the Ad Free Premium Podcast Experience - https://rachelhollis.supercast.com Get your copy of Rachel's Book Here: Audible, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Millon, Bookshop.org, or wherever books are sold! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices In this episode of The Rachel Hollis podcast, she challenges the idea that adulthood, ambition, or leadership must constantly feel exhausting and argues that a lighter, more intentional life is often built through small daily choices rather than dramatic overhauls. Drawing from her own recent move from Los Angeles to the Hudson Valley, she reflects on simplifying her lifestyle and shares nine “tiny habits” that help her feel more grounded, including starting the day with intention, avoiding her phone in the morning, using the two-minute rule to overcome procrastination, drinking water be...
Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:01]
A
I want you to think about the last time that you had an easy day. Like, when was the last time your day felt easy? Not perfect, not like aesthetically pleasing, Instagram worthy, just not hard. You were moving with the flow of your life instead of against the current. Like things were clicking for you and not like you were forcing it or like you were grinding. Like, you get to the end of the day and you think like, yeah, that was a good one. When was that? Was it last week? Was it last month? Dude, can you even remember? Because here is this thing that I have noticed, not just in my own life, but also with my girlfriends, is that the older we get, the easier it is to accept that life gets really hard. And we kind of can't get our head above water enough to look at it and see it for what it is and make any change. So we just kind of live into the hard. We learn to treat the symptoms of the hard instead of getting to the root cause of why it doesn't feel easier. And so many of us have just accepted that this is just how life is. We have started to buy into the myth that grinding and exhaustion and the weight of all of these things we keep adding to our lives. Like, we start to believe that that's just what it is to be an adult, or that's just what it is to be a mother, or that's just what it is to be a leader, or that's just the price of ambition. And I have to call bs. I don't think that life is supposed to feel hard all of the time. Certainly there are seasons where it is more difficult than others. But we can't let a symptom of today become the standard of our future. I think we have to fight back against that ideology and we have to find space and room inside of our days so that it can feel better. So I have a bunch of ideas. I have a lot of tiny little things that I do. They're genuinely so small, you guys, and they take almost no time. But I do feel like they bring a lightness to my days. If I can reach for these things and use that as the intention of, you know, it's not always supposed to be this hard, then it helps to bring me back to the idea that I can make choices that will make it feel better and not just someday choices. Not overhauling your whole life and your morning routine or doing a 17 step self help routine. Like, what can we do today, right now, today, the moment that you're inside of to make it feel better. Because I believe that lightness and ease are available to us right now. And I have some ideas for how to get you closer to that. Hey, guys. I'm Rachel Hollis, and this is the show where we talk about life, real life around here. We cover everything from habits and motivation to relationships, parenting, and what it looks like to build a life that you love. If you're trying to grow, heal, or just feel a little bit more like yourself, you're in the right place. Thanks for coming back to the show, guys. Thanks for clicking into this episode today. I am so glad you're here. I'm grateful that you're part of our community. And honestly, this is as much a conversation for me as it is for you. I have been in a season, really this whole year, of coming back to my basics and coming back to the things that I really want my life to be filled with. I made a very intentional choice at the end of last year to move my family out of Los Angeles. And it's so funny. There's so much information now about the state of Los Angeles. It's becoming more popular to talk about what's going on in that city and how, honestly, scary it is and how absolutely out of hand it's gotten. And it's so interesting for me to read these stories or listen to podcasts about that, because when I was inside of la, I sort of thought I was the crazy one. And. And Kez and I used to say this to each other all the time. We're like, what aren't we getting? Because everybody is so in love with this town and it's so expensive to live here, and everybody on social, like, shows all these beautiful things about this city, and we don't want to leave home because it's absolutely chaos. It's so wild to live in la. Honestly, just, like, look up some of the information that's out there now about the crisis of addiction and what's going on in the streets and the corruption. I'm not a fear monger, you know, this is not my topic of conversation, but I bring it up because when I was living in la, I truly thought that, like, I just didn't get it. I was like, this is not a healthy way to live. I don't like that it takes me two hours to get home from picking up my daughter at school. I don't like that I don't feel safe driving in my car because someone might come up to our windows. Like, I. There's so much. And I just was like, nobody else was talking about It. And so I felt like I was the crazy one. And finally we got to this point where we were like, you know what? I don't care if we're wrong. Maybe this is the greatest place in the world. I don't care. We have to leave. And we moved from Los Angeles. We got completely outta California. We moved to the Hudson Valley in New York. So we live out in the country. And I had this realization the other day that in all of 24, 25, I worried about things like AI and like the end of the world and what is the point? And should these kids even be going to college? Like, I genuinely had so many thoughts and worries about that, and I don't think about that at all anymore. I'm over here trying to figure out how to grow dahlias, okay? I'm trying to figure out which tomatoes are going in the ground first. I'm structuring my days right now around how, how I can get outside and get in the sunshine. Because spring is very different on the east coast than it is in in Cali. It's so different. And it was getting outside of what millions of people would call normal. Just living in a city is no longer for me. It was the highlight of my life when I was younger. It is no longer for me. And sometimes you find yourself in these routines or this way of living and you don't stop to question whether or not that way of living is healthy for you or wise for you. And that's what I feel like I experienced in this move. And so this year has been so much more about getting back to the basics, getting back to what I want my life to be filled with. And it's not traffic and stress and pollution and none of that. And in choosing a more simple existence, I am reminded of the fact that we can choose it. You can choose no matter where you live. Maybe you're listening to this and you're like, girl, this does not help me. I'm in the heart of la or I'm in New York City, or, you know, I'm in the midst of Chicago, I'm in London. I'm in a place where it feels overwhelming. If you are faced with a life filled with hard things and a lot of people are, how can we be intentional about some easy choices and look to make big change in your life? It does require big moves. But sometimes, honestly, I think most of the time, what makes the biggest difference. It's the little stuff. It's the five minute thing that you do when you first wake up in the morning, it's chugging the glass of water. It's saying that prayer. It's calling in your guardian angels. It's tiny rituals that signal that you're safe. You know, that tell your nervous system that you are okay, that the universe has you. And today is going to be a great day. So that's what we're talking about today. These are nine tiny little habits that make my day feel easier. Some of these are things you probably have heard before, but maybe you need the nudge. Maybe you need the reminder, and some of them might be totally new. You've never considered weaving this into the structure of your day. I'd love to walk you through all nine and give you my why behind each one to send you off with something you can actually use today. All right, so my first tiny little habit is to walk your house. I'm starting with this one because, number one, it's one of my favorite ways to start my day. And it's also something that when I've shared videos of this over the years, if I've showed it on social or I showed a video of me doing this in a recent episode of our premium podcast, and I get so many people ask me questions about it. So that always says to me there's something still sticky there, and that maybe it's a thing y' all would like to do. I think it's the most underrated habit on this entire list because it's deeply personal to me. So every single morning, before my kids are up, before my husband's up, before the coffee has even finished brewing, I walk through my house, and I walk through my house with Palosanto. I move through every single room in my house, and I pray over the house, and I pray over the day, and I pray over my kids, and it is such a special way to start my day and to ground myself. Now, if you're not familiar with Palo Santo, it's like a little stick, it would sort of be like incense. But imagine that you're actually just burning a piece of stick from a tree, and it smells so good. And it would be very similar to, you know, some people would sage a room, Some people would use incense in a room. Palosanto, I always heard was that you're calling good energy into your space. So with Sage, you're trying to clear energy out, but with Palo Santo, you're calling good energy in. And it's not. This is not a religious thing. Or maybe it is religious to some people. It's not a religious thing to me. But I genuinely do it because I love the smell. And I think the idea of the smoke, like, going into your house is really clearing. I don't know how to explain it exactly. You know what it reminds me of? Years ago, I was listening to a preacher give a sermon, and he was talking about being married. And he said, people wear a wedding ring. The wedding ring doesn't make them married. The wedding ring is a symbol of what being married means to that person. I think of Palo Santo as the same thing. For me, it just is this ritual. It's a sacred act to go walk through my house and pray for my family. And I do it with Apollo because it smells really nice. And then when I walk in the room later and it still smells like Palo, I remember what I did to start my day. So there's something really powerful about consciously, intentionally entering your day instead of, like, falling into it. You know, if you think about it, most people don't start their day with intention. They hit the snooze button maybe more than one time. And that means when they wake up, they're already behind. They're already in reaction mode. They're not in intentional grounded mode. I see so many of you who share entries, and y' all start today journal over the years where you say that one of your goals is to be a present mother. That's something I've seen again and again. It seems to be a really popular thing, is, like, I want to be more present as a mom. Babe, there is nothing that you could add to your list that is gonna help you feel more grounded than to slow down. And the way that we slow down is that we have to give ourselves time to be able to do these things that feel really good. If you start your day in a rush, the whole day is gonna feel like it's in a rush, and then you're gonna always be playing catch up. It's why we feel scattered before the day even starts. So walking through my house in the morning is how I remember who I want to be. Like, I want to be the hippie mom that walked her house with Palosanto, right? Like, the person that you want to be, you have to make choices that are aligned with what they would do. I set the energy in my room before anyone else wakes up. And I also feel like it sets me up for the mama I'm going to be when they do come downstairs. If you think that I'm waking up every morning and I'm just, like, you know, ready to be a zen mother, and you know, see into their spirit with my spirit. And babe, I wish, okay, I wish it does not come that naturally to me. I actually have to take steps to get to that place. And the intention that I set for us as a family is one of the ways I do that. It takes less than five minutes, and it is, without a question, one of the most important five minutes in my entire day. So your version of this could be, you know, do you sit in silence with your coffee before anyone wakes up? Or maybe you step outside like the weather's getting nicer. Maybe you step outside and you look at the sky and you listen to the birds. Or it might be a prayer, it might be meditation, it might be doing some journal work. Or just standing in your kitchen and breathing in and out and saying out loud, you know, today's going to be a great day. Whatever it is, find your version of walking the house and do it before the day starts. There's science in this, by the way. There is science in this. If you start your morning with a grounding ritual, with something intentional or something that feels uniquely yours, it lowers your cortisol levels and it reduces your anxiety for the rest of the day. Your nervous system will take a cue from how you begin. So give it something good to work with. The second little tiny habit is no phone first thing in the morning. I don't even look at my phone until I grab my phone to turn on music. Cause we always have music in the kitchen when we wake up. I'll use it to turn on music. Or truly to turn on music when I take the kids to school. I do not look at my. Why would I want to look at my phone? I don't want to know what the news is telling me. I do not want to see emails. I do not want to pay attention to work like my mornings are for me. I never look at my phone first thing. And I know that there are entrepreneurs listening to this. Or maybe you have a big job and you have a boss that's really demanding and you don't have the freedom of not looking at your phone, you can at least set boundaries for yourself around the times that you won't look at your phone. So for instance, if you said, I have to check my phone by 7:30 every day, I have to, okay, then give yourself enough space inside your morning routine on the other side of that, so that you have at least an hour to yourself to regulate your nervous system and set up your day without being on anyone else's agenda. It matters more than you think because if you consider it, when you open your phone now, the day is no longer about just you. Now you're taking in all of the information that have been handed to you by somebody else, whether that's the news outlet or your boss or your coworkers or your sister who has a question. Now you're on everyone else's agenda. And now you're in reaction mode. You're inside of someone else's emergency, someone else's opinion, someone else's opinion of what news is relevant to you. And your brain is most impressionable first thing in the morning. Guys, your brain absorbed all of that information the first 30 minutes after you wake up. Your brain is operating in a similar state to like light hypnosis. So what you consume in that window is, has an outsized influence on your mood, your focus, and your emotional state for hours afterwards. You are literally programming yourself first thing in the morning. So I'm going to ask you, what are you consuming first thing? Just for now, consider putting some space between your alarm and when you actually receive what's inside of your phone. Science will tell you like, oh, five, ten minutes. Na na. Give yourself an hour. Get up, make your coffee, brush your teeth, Take some breaths, jump up and down. Do a stretch. Take in some good information, whether it's reading a nonfiction book or listening to a great podcast like, take in intentional information before you're bombarded with what the world thinks you should be doing. All right, number three, tiny little habit, the two minute rule. This one is a sneaky little favorite because it sounds so small that you are going to be tempted to dismiss it. But if you try it, I think you're going to be kind of amazed. Here's how it works. When you feel overwhelmed by a task or honestly, by your whole results list, or by the state of your house or that thing that you keep avoiding, you don't have to do it all. You just have to do two minutes of it. So right now you could set a timer on your phone and just do two minutes worth of effort on that one big project. The beautiful secret of this is that almost nobody will stop at two minutes. Starting is the hardest part. In yoga. They say, you know, the hardest part is just getting to your mat. The hardest part about reading is just starting to read. The hardest part about writing is just starting to write. Getting yourself into motion is the the hard part. So if you trick your brain and tell yourself, I'm just going to do two minutes. I'm just going to hang up one shirt in my closet, I'm just going to unload five dishes. I'm just going to write one paragraph. The rest it follows. So much easier because you got yourself into motion. This is also the cure for when you are overwhelmed and staring at a huge project. You know how if you've ever been to Rise Conference or if you've ever read Girl, stop apologizing. I take you through this whole framework of building a roadmap to get to your goals. And in that roadmap, we always start with the end result in mind. So you're starting with this big project that you want to finish, and then we work backwards, and we keep breaking that roadmap down into smaller and smaller pieces until the next step in front of you is no longer scary. You don't have to have the whole path. You just have to take the next right step. And then after you take that step, you just have to take one more. If you've never listened to or read Jocko Willink, I mean, he's a total badass. He's a Navy seal. He's like super hardcore Alpha. So maybe not for everybody, but I do love the occasional super hardcore Alpha. And he says, if you're lost, staying where you are will not get you information. I listened to him on this podcast and he was talking about if you are on a mission, I'm. Anyone who's in the military is going to laugh at me trying to explain a military op right now. But he says if you're on a mission, like, if they would get lost, the rule was you could not stay where you were because if you move in any, any direction, movement generates information. So if we go over there and like, okay, well, let's walk up to the top of that hill. On the top of that hill, maybe we can see the terrain and it gives us an idea of where we are. But staying here and staying stuck will not give you more information. Clarity comes from action, not from thinking about action, not from analysis paralysis, but from you actually doing something. So if you are feeling stuck and you just keep swirling around the same idea, knock it off. Just set a timer for two minutes and do anything to work on that goal. If nothing else, you get a little movement, you get a little traction, and now you know a new trick that you can try the next time you're feeling stuck again. Habit number four, so simple. Do not ignore this one. Drink water before coffee. You all know you are never going to meet anyone in your life that loves their morning coffee more than me. I really don't think it's possible. I look forward to it every day. I should not enjoy a morning coffee this much when I've been doing it for 25 years, but here we are, okay, every morning, so pumped to get out of bed and have my coffee. But this is the simplest thing that you can do. Awesome for your health, awesome for your stomach, so you don't get all jittery later because the first thing that hit your stomach was that coffee. Awesome for anybody who's trying to get hydrated and wants to drink more water. When you wake up and you're gonna go get that coffee, you have just been asleep for seven or eight. Or if the Lord is willing and the creek don't rise, you've been asleep for nine hours, right? Nine hours. Without liquids, your body is dehydrated. And the first thing you're putting into your system is a diuretic. Coffee is a diuretic, which means it's going to dehydrate you even more. So you're basically filling a car with gas, but there's a hole in the tank. So if you feel jittery after your coffee, or if you crash super hard mid morning, or if you feel like you need three cups to feel human, just try this. It is the simplest trick. I genuinely think your gut, which is a massive part of your nervous system and your immune system, it just wants a little water. That's all. It just wants a little water to dilute the acidity of that coffee. One glass, literally, while the coffee's brewing, just chug a glass of water. You don't even have to think about it later. So you could put a glass of water next to the coffee maker. You can put your bottle of water on your nightstand. You can put it next to where you brush your teeth, make it super easy so there's no decision involved. Habit stack this. It's so simple. And future you is gonna feel a little bit better, a little more hydrated, a little less jittery, and you're starting the day with a win. You're starting the day with a choice for your health. And that's going to be awesome and not that hard to accomplish. Number five in the list of super little tiny habits. This one is not glamorous. I mean, not that any of these have been have been super glamorous, to be honest. But if I had to pick a habit on this list that I think can have the biggest compound effect over time, meaning this one habit can positively affect so many areas of your life, it would be this one. A bedtime alarm, A bedtime alarm. Not just a wake up alarm, a bedtime alarm, an alarm that goes off in the evening that's like, hey girl, it is time to wind down. All right babe, it's time to start wrapping up. Hey sweetie, you got 30 minutes before it's time to be in bed. Reminding yourself that you do need that time to get ready to get to sleep. This matters because your circadian rhythm, that's the internal clock that regulates your sleep, your hormones, your metabolism, your mood, your immune function, literally everything. You guys that is anchored by consistent consistency. Look this up. There's so much data to back this up. Going to bed at roughly the same time every night and waking up at roughly the same time every morning is one of the single most evidence backed things that you can do for your health. Not supplements, not your special diet, not the complicated routine. Consistency, consistency compounds. Your body is a creature of pattern. It thrives when you honor patterns. There's a book called why We Sleep by Matthew Walker and it genuinely changed how I think about rest. So he says in that book that sleep is the foundation. Everything is built on. Every other habit on this list works better. When you are well rested, every goal that you have becomes more achievable. Every emotional regulation strategy gets easier. Guys, sleep is not lazy. Sleep is the freaking foundation for everything that you are trying to do. And if you feel like you are having mood swings, if you feel like it's hard to stay focused, if you feel like, you know, I should be more motivated than this babe, get some sleep. Your bedtime alarm isn't a punishment. I love going to bed. I absolutely love going to bed. It makes me so happy to go to sleep. A bedtime alarm for those of you who struggle with wind down routines, it's a promise that you're making for you tomorrow. It is going to make you feel so much better. If nothing else, just start setting the alarm about an hour because before you want to be in bed, even if you're not acting on it right away, like just that alarm going off every single day is going to remind you of the person that you want to be. And it'll start to kind of turn the ship in the direction of the fact that yeah, you know what, I really want to be in bed by 10pm I do not want to stay up watching Bridgerton until midnight. I've already seen this season. I know I need sleep. Like start turning the ship in the right direction. Even if you don't always listen to that alarm, at least it will be There to remind you of your intention number six in the tiny little habits that you can do. Move your body, Move your body, Move your body, Move your body. I say for 30 minutes every single day, every single day. That is my actual belief. That is what I think will change your life. That is what I do. This little tiny baby habit is not an excuse to never move again. Because I'm going to change the number of how many minutes you need to move. Because this episode is about tiny habits. So this is for anyone who is not currently and consistently moving their body every single day, seven days a week. If that is you, if you're like, well, two, three days a week, I move. The other days I do nothing. I lay around. I, you know, work from bed with my laptop on my stomach while I lay on my back. If that's you, I'm going to challenge you. Seven days a week, move your body for five minutes. Five minutes. No. Every single person listening to this can move some part of their body for five minutes every day, period. Five minutes of moving your body is a super powerful pattern Interrupt a pattern interrupt something that you have access to at any moment to accomplish one of two things. Number one, you're tired. You feel lethargic. It's two, three o' clock in the afternoon. You really want another coffee, but you probably shouldn't have one because Rach said that sleep is really important. You're staring at the screen, nothing's happening. You don't feel motivated. Instead of trying to have another coffee, dance around your room for five minutes, walk around the block for five minutes, jump up and down 50 times. You might feel like a weirdo, but I promise you, five minutes later, your energy will be completely different than before you moved your body. And coffee was never gonna get you to the energetic state that just five minutes of action will. So that's situation one. Five minutes of moving your body can completely change your energy and your focus. Situation number two, and this is the one that I really want you to sit with. When you need to change your emotional state, five minutes of movement can change everything. You know, someone said something to you, you feel triggered, you saw something on the news, you got your feelings hurt, you feel off your co worker annoyed you, traffic sucks. Move your body before you respond. Move your body before you respond. We say this thing at rise. We say, when you move your body, you change your mind. When you move your body, you change your mind. If your emotions are in control of you, you are not in control. And let's take that even one step Further, if someone else can get you that emotional, that someone else is controlling you. So if nothing else, can we just get pissed off about the fact that your worst coworker is currently controlling you? Because if they've gotten you emotional, if you're emotional because of Betty, Betty is in control of you. If some politician has pissed you off because you're watching them on the news, which is a terrible use of your time, but let's say you're watching a politician on the news and now you're pissed off. That politician that you don't like, they're controlling you. You're not in control. If someone else is controlling your emotions, they are in control of you. We are grown humans. We are not going to allow other people to control us. So go for a walk, do your jumping jacks, scream into a pillow if you need to, but get it out of your body. Emotions are not just in your head. They are stored in your physical energy. Movement is one of the fastest ways to process and release them. And the research behind this is so fascinating. There's an incredible book, if you've never read it, called the Body Keeps the Score so Deep will absolutely trip you out about trauma and how it sits in your body. But the science behind aerobic movement, even super brief aerobic movement, it triggers the relief of what is basically like a fertilizer for your brain and again, lowers cortisol and adrenaline simultaneously. So it's gonna help your nervous system to calm down. You literally cannot be in the same emotional state after five minutes of movement that you were before. Your body won't allow it. So five minutes, that's nothing, guys. Five minutes. It's your superpower. Start using it. Number seven, tiny habit. Pretend it's kind of getting to the end of the day. We're closing out the day. I think how you end your day matters just as much as how you begin it. And I wish that we were all incredible about resetting our intentions 50 times throughout the day. But real life, you know, that's probably not going to happen. At the very least, if we can look at those transition points of like, morning and evening and just ask, how can I reset my intention about the person I want to be in the morning? And in the evening? Before you go to sleep tonight, I want you to ask yourself one question. What went right today? What went right? Not what did you accomplish or what did you get checked off or whether or not you hit a goal. If you did, that's amazing. This is not about being productive, and it's not about being perfect. It's just asking yourself what went right. What was good? What's, like, one thing, even a tiny thing that's worth noticing. It's not even 12 as I'm recording this podcast for you, and I can think of so many things that already went right. Listening to music with Ford and Noah on the way to school. I had a delicious breakfast today. I did a little sourdough, little avocado toast with a fried egg on Top Chef's Kiss. It was so delicious. I live in the country, as I told you, so there's farm stands everywhere and local produce. I mean, it's. It's a thing, you guys. Local eggs crushing. It went so right. Breakfast went so right. My husband brought me a coffee, little surprise coffee out to the office because he knew I was going to record this episode for y'. All. It's sunny today, which is something I absolutely took for granted in California and never will again because I've learned that sun is not guaranteed, but it is sunny and gorgeous and spring, and so many things went right. I had a call earlier for a keynote that I'm giving in a couple weeks to 1500 women. I'm gonna motivate the heck out of them. And the two women that I was speaking with who were throwing the event are just. Were so lovely and, like, really passionate about who they're throwing the event for. And that was awesome. I mean, I. I saw a turkey this morning. I saw a wild turkey in the road. Like a giant. It looked like Thanksgiving walking down the center road. I was like, you know what, buddy? This feels dangerous. But then I realized he was out there trying to do a little dance to show off for a lady, but a lady turkey, not like a human lady. That'd be cool, though. So many things have already gone great. What went right today? Our brains are programmed to keep us safe, which means they're programmed to pay attention only to what's going wrong. But if you ask yourself every day what went right today, you will notice that way more often. The universe is showing up for you in so many ways. And by asking yourself what went right? You're going to bed in a great state of mind. You're wiring your subconscious for what you're gonna look for tomorrow. And you're also practicing gratitude. So tonight, before you go to bed, ask yourself what went right? Number eight on my list of tiny things, and this one is my favorite. Find your laugh every single day. It sounds simple. Maybe it sounds a little silly, but I was going through this list this Morning. And I was like, I'm missing something. Like, I want one great habit that really has an effect on how they feel about their day. And I was like, oh, laughter. Like every single day. Are you laughing if someone just rolled their eyes Like, I'm working three jobs. Like, life is so hard. Screw you. Like, there's no way. No, we can always find some joy. We can always find some joy. My grandparents were migrant farm workers. They picked cotton. They had six kids in a two bedroom house. They found joy. They were always poor. Not like middle class. They were poor. And they found joy. They found joy in breakfast. They found joy in sweet tea. They found joy in whittling on the front porch. They found joy in hanging out with their grandkids. They love their family. My grandma had these two different sets of curtains. One was pink and one was red. And she would change them out seasonally. Red was for winter and pink was for spring and summer. They didn't have much, but what they had, they were grateful for. And they found joy inside of. Every human being can find moments in their day to find joy. Even if what you need to do is, let's say you're sitting in traffic for two hours and you intentionally listen to stand up comedy, right? You go listen to a podcast of someone that you know is going to make you laugh. You go intentionally choose a movie that will make you laugh. This is probably, like, so inappropriate to tell you guys. I will walk up and just, like, start humping. Cass, you didn't need to know. I don't mean hump like actually. I mean like in a. In a very, like, middle school, pretend to, you know, get him from behind. This is someone's. This. You didn't know. I do, though. Do you know why? Because one time years ago, I was like, what could I do to mess with this upright English man? Like, what could I do right now that will just make him laugh? And I walked up and I did it. Obviously not with kids around or anything, but I just, like, he's standing in the kitchen, like, chopping or something. I just, like, came up behind him, started sort of like air humping him. I'm sorry if I just changed your entire perception of me, but I did it. And he started laughing so hard. He was doubled over in the kitchen crying. I'm crying because I embarrass myself. And then he's crying because he knows that I'm embarrassed. And we're both just in the kitchen, like, we cannot breathe. Crying, Laughing so hard, y'. All. I do that solidly once a week. It never fails. I find a moment where he is least expecting it, and I do that. And it is so funny and so stupid. And if you are not finding moments in your day to be ridiculous and whimsical or listen to comedy or watch a movie that's going to make you laugh, what is the freaking point? The point of life is not to work and work and make money and work and work and hustle and eventually die. The day. Your day is the point of your life, not what's going to happen in a year or five years or 10 or 20. Today is the point of your life. And if you cannot find some joy in this day, what are we even fighting so hard for? Oh, my gosh. So here is your homework. Go hump your. No, just kidding. Find one thing inside of your day that makes you laugh. Like, really laugh. Maybe you call a friend who's really funny or you re watch a clip of something. Like, I know if I watch videos of people gagging so hard they throw up. I don't know why I think that's so funny. I can't even breathe. It's the funniest thing. Or people getting scared. Remember? I remember the Ellen show used to do those videos where, like, they would scare people or they'd tape people in the haunted house. I will die watching those videos. What's your version of that? Go find it. Take three minutes and make yourself laugh. It is awesome, and it's gonna make the day feel so much better. All right, last one. Number nine. We're landing this plane. Nine tiny things. Can I just say real quick if you dug this episode, if you found it helpful, will you share it with a friend? Will you let them know about the show before we get into this one, which is really good. At the end of your day, before you close your eyes, I want you to thank yourself. Not for big things, right? Not for some massive achievement. I want you to thank yourself every single day for something specific that proves that you are still here and you are still trying and you are still showing up every single day. You do so many tiny acts of care, and you extend them to the people around you. And rarely does anyone else notice or acknowledge you. Or maybe they're not even seen. But you can be the one that thanks yourself. Thank yourself for drinking water. Thank yourself for taking the walk. Thank yourself for jumping up and down. Thank yourself for finding the funny video. Thank yourself for choosing the greens when you really wanted the chili fries. Thank yourself for texting back your mama for the Deep breath that you took before you responded. Thank yourself for doing the dishes after dinner even though you were tired and it felt hard. Thank yourself for trying. This matters so much. When we do rise events, we practice this letter writing where we acknowledge the things that we've done, we acknowledge our tenacity, we acknowledge how hard we've worked. And this moment is always so emotional for people. You would think that writing a letter where you acknowledge all of the things that you've done would be this really empowering moment. And it's actually this hugely emotional moment. People are crying and they're upset and they're upset because they realize, holy crap, I am trying so hard. I am working so hard and I'm not giving myself any credit. There is a researcher named Kristen Neff. She is probably the world's greatest researcher on self compassion. And Kristin has shown time and time again that people who practice self compassion are more motivated, they have greater resilience, and they have more sustained growth than people who self criticize, not less, more. When you treat yourself with the same kindness that you extend to everybody else around you, you will actually try harder. And not only will you try harder, you will do better. You will get further. Self compassion is not about letting yourself off the hook and it is not about lowering your standards. It is about recognizing that you are human and that you are trying your hardest and that some days are better than others. But every day deserves your acknowledgement. That acknowledgement is what is going to keep you in the game. It is what will make you want to keep trying. You worked so hard today. You loved people. You tried, you showed up. Thank yourself for that. And then get some sleep. Because tomorrow we're going to do it all again. All right, guys, those are my nine things. Walk your house, put your phone down. Two minutes on the thing that you're avoiding. Water before coffee, a bedtime alarm. Five minutes of movement. End with what went right. Find your laugh and thank yourself. None of these things take longer than five minutes. None of them require equipment or a gym membership or a complete overhaul of who you are. Every single one of them is available to you today, this afternoon, this evening. And here's the thing I really want you to hold onto. You do not have to do all nine. You don't have to completely transform your morning or your evening or your whole relationship with your phone or get your sleep on a schedule all at once. That is not what this is about. Pick one thing, one thing that I said that you feel like, oh, that would really help me. The one where you went like, okay, that's where I should probably start. Start there. Just one. Because one small thing done consistently changes your life way more than nine things you do for a week and then abandon these habits are not about becoming a different person. They're about treating who you are more gently, treating her or him with a little more intentionality and a little bit more like they matter. Because you do. I hope you leave this episode feeling a little lighter than when you came in. That was my whole goal. Lightness. And if it worked, please consider sharing it with someone who needs it. Text it to a friend. Or maybe you post about it on your social Let someone else feel it too. Subscribe to the show if you haven't already. We are here for you every Monday and every Thursday. Thursday. And I appreciate your time. I don't take it for granted. Until then, until next time. I'm glad you're here. I love you and I'm rooting for you. The rachel hollis podcast is produced by me, rachel hollis. It's edited by andrew weller and jack noble.