960 | How to Get Your Spark Back: 5 Ways to Feel Excited About Life Again

Summary

The Rachel Hollis Podcast

Episode 960: How to Get Your Spark Back – 5 Ways to Feel Excited About Life Again

Date: May 21, 2026
Host: Rachel Hollis

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Episode Overview

In this rich, motivational solo episode, Rachel Hollis draws on both research and personal experience to explore why so many people—especially high-achievers and women—can lose their enthusiasm for life by focusing too much on future milestones, and not enough on present joy. Through storytelling, warm honesty, and plenty of tangible tips, Rachel lays out five actionable ways you can reignite your excitement for life, right now—no new job, relationship, or dramatic change required.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Marathon Metaphor (03:18)

• Theme: People are conditioned to aim for "finish lines" (big achievements) and overlook the daily journey.
  • “Nobody seeing the thousands of steps from the starting line to that finish line…” (03:45)
  • The cultural obsession with milestones (the new job, the dream house, the relationship) keeps people stuck waiting for happiness.
• Takeaway: You can start loving your life today, not just when you reach some future goal.

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2. The Reality of Lasting Happiness (07:00)

• Research-Based Insight:
  • External circumstances (money, jobs, achievements) account for only 10% of long-term happiness.
  • “90% of your happiness is based on what your baseline disposition is. What is your attitude like when you wake up in the morning?” (08:47)
  • Concept explained: The "hedonic treadmill." You adapt to new successes and return emotionally to your baseline.
  • “You’re running and running, and the scenery keeps changing, but you stay in the exact same emotional place.” (09:15)
• Takeaway: Happiness is shaped more by your mindset and daily habits than by external changes. Learning to experience your life differently is a skill anyone can practice.

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3. Five Ways to Get Your Spark Back (18:30)

1. Fall in Love with Possibility (18:37)

• Anticipatory dopamine: Excitement about the possibility of something (a future plan, even if small) is itself energizing.
• Tactics:
  • Make a "possibility list" of 10 things you could look forward to—big or small.
  • Dive deep: What are the branches of excitement around each one?
  • Schedule something, however small, to anticipate.
• Quote: “There’s so much research on vacation that… for most people, the most happiness comes before the vacation, it’s the anticipation…” (20:40)

2. Romanticize Your Life—even the Boring Parts (23:35)

• Practice: Actively find beauty in daily rituals (lighting a candle, using the "nice" mug, savoring coffee).
• Positive psychology: Savoring (deliberately noticing good moments) is proven to build well-being.
• Tactics:
  • Create rituals, not just routines.
  • Document small moments—photos, journal, or awareness.
  • Be present (even feet on the floor, wiggling toes; see 26:05).
  • Ask: “What would the main character do today?”
• Quote: “You do not need a better life. You need to feel differently about the life that you have… when you start treating your ordinary life like it’s worth something, it starts to feel like it’s worth something.” (27:20)

3. Go On Artist Dates (28:51)

• Inspired by Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”:
  • Take yourself out, alone, for nonproductive, just-for-you experiences (a museum, a new walk, buying seeds, a pottery class).
• Prevents “flatness”: Especially vital for people over 40 who feel “flat” or mildly depressed.
• Novelty: Doing new things activates your brain’s reward system and brings you alive.
• Assignment: “Pick one new thing this week. Go somewhere alone… Give yourself the experience of not being able to go on autopilot…” (33:10)

4. Stop Waiting for Big Wins—Celebrate Everything (35:50)

• Celebrate effort, not just outcome: If you only celebrate finish lines, life feels like punishment.
• Science: Immediate celebration after action helps wire positive habits into your brain.
• Tactics: Develop a ritual for celebrating small wins. Make it theatrical, make it fun.
• Warning: Choose celebration rituals that truly align with your goals (not “working out = cake”, but something genuinely rewarding).
• Quote: “The more you celebrate, the more that your brain will connect progress with good feelings. And the more your brain connects progress with good feelings, the more progress you’re going to make.” (38:19)

5. Curate Your Energy (41:00)

• Internal work needs external support: Your environment (what you consume, who you’re around) powerfully shapes your mood and progress.
• Social media audit: Limit passive scrolling—intentionally choose what you see.
  • “Protect your mental real estate. You are the only one who can put boundaries up around your peace.” (43:42)
• Expanders: Surround yourself (in life or online) with people/resources that make you feel like more is possible.
• Sacred-no: Say “no” to anything that isn’t a “hell yes.”
• Schedule what fuels you: Color-code your calendar for self-care; make sure “yellow” events (fun, nurturing) are always present.
• Quote: “You are fighting for your own attention every single day. The quality of your life is largely going to be determined by your internal environment. But you must set up your external environment to protect that internal world.” (47:20)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You can love your life right now as it is, starting today.” (04:23)
• “The woo-woo in me believes that we attract more of what we are. We don’t attract what we want.” (06:19)
• “Anything in your life that you want more of, you have to make more of.” (48:36)
• “The more that you choose to focus on what is already good, the more good you will see. That is not a bumper sticker—that is literally how your brain works.” (48:54)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:18 – The Marathon Metaphor and our obsession with milestones
• 07:00 – Science of happiness: only 10% comes from external circumstances
• 18:30 – Rachel’s “Five Favorite Things” overview begins
• 18:37 – 1. Fall in love with possibility
• 23:35 – 2. Romanticize your life
• 28:51 – 3. Go on artist dates
• 35:50 – 4. Celebrate everything (even the smallest wins)
• 41:00 – 5. Curate your energy and audit your environment
• 48:36-48:54 – The “energy-power plant” quote and how focusing on what’s good multiplies good

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Summary Table of the Five Ways

| Tip | Practical Example | Core Benefit | |--------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------| | 1. Fall in love with possibility | Make a possibilities list; plan something to anticipate| Instills hope, releases dopamine | | 2. Romanticize your life | Light a candle for coffee; slow down; notice beauty | Builds daily joy and appreciation | | 3. Go on artist dates | Take yourself solo to a new place or creative activity | Breaks autopilot, sparks passion | | 4. Celebrate everything | Celebrate after small wins; develop fun rituals | Reinforces progress, motivates action| | 5. Curate your energy | Audit social feeds, set boundaries, schedule self-care | Protects mental/emotional wellbeing |

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Action Step & Closing Challenge

• Pick just one tip from the list—whichever resonated most—to practice this week in a real, tangible way.
• “When you love your life, when you’re intentionally appreciating what you have… anything you want more of, you have to make more of.” (48:28)

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Final Tone

Rachel brings her signature warmth, enthusiasm, and realism, balancing motivational “woo-woo” with science, and practical steps you can take immediately. The episode feels like a heartfelt conversation with a wise, encouraging friend—reminding you that your daily experience is worth loving, right now, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to start.

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For more details, listen to the full episode or visit Rachel’s website/podcast feed.

Transcript

[A]

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And the Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner disinfects both the toilet brush and the bowl for two in one disinfection. Don't just clean Lysol, clean Picture something for me. Picture a marathon. Even if you haven't run one. I think most people know that a marathon is 26 miles. And when it's your turn to step over the starting line of a marathon, there are usually thousands of people around you, right? And they're all pouring into the street. Every single one of them has their eyes on this mythical finish line. Every single person who starts a marathon starts it hoping that they are going to cross a finish line 26.2 miles later. That is how we are taught to think about our lives. It's about the finish line. It's about the big wins. It's about crossing over this barrier. But nobody who is focused solely on crossing over that finish line shows you the footage. Nobody's seeing the thousands of steps from that starting line to that finish line. And there are thousands. And not only are you not seeing the thousands of steps in between start and finish, you don't see all of the training that went into even getting to race day. You don't see the runner going out in the early morning when when their alarm went off and they wanted to stay in bed. You don't see them when they ran while they had blisters, when they ran, when they were hurting, while they ran, when they were on their period. You don't see how hard it was for someone to run that race. You don't see them on the days they were proud because they crossed a new mile and you do not see them on the days when they weren't proud because they had to quit for whatever reason. Those steps do not show up on Instagram. Very few people are posting the bad stuff along with the good stuff along with the 5am training. Those steps are the whole journey. But we're not seeing that. We're typically only seeing the finish line. I thought today we could talk about what that in between looks like. This is specifically for those of you who are achievers, who are looking at a goal, who want something more for your life, but you are so focused on that finish line that the steps in between have become monotonous, or they have started to feel stuck, or they've started to feel hard. They started to feel like a slog. And you keep telling yourself that if you can just get to that finish line, man, life is going to get great. But I am telling you, as someone who spent years aiming at a finish line, as someone who's experienced the highest levels of success and the lowest levels of my personal life and everything in between, you don't have to wait for the promotion. You don't have to wait for the relationship or the number on the scale or the new house or the certain level of income or the moment when everything comes together just like it did on your vision board. You can love your life right now as it is starting today. There are five different ways that we can go about this, and that's what I'm sharing on today's episode. Hey, guys. I'm Rachel Hollis, and this is the show where we talk about life, real life. Around here. We cover everything from habits and motivation to relationships, parenting, and what it looks like to build a life that you love. If you're trying to grow, heal, or just feel a little bit more like yourself, you're in the right place. Hi, guys. We're back with another episode that I hope will encourage you as you go throughout this week. Week. This is my favorite kind of conversation because this is not about selling you something. There's no pitch, there's no agenda. This is just me sitting down and hopefully talking to you like you're my buddy. We're having coffee together and we're discussing something that I think is really important, which is how so many people are spending their days waiting for someday. They're waiting for the thing that's going to make them feel happy. They're waiting for the day that's going to make them feel like they're enough. They're waiting to be in this mythical future so that they can actually enjoy their life. And, dude, I get it. I have absolutely been that person. I think a lot of my ability to use my imagination when I was a kid and when I was inside an environment that was really awful, the imagination that I had is what helped me get out of that environment. But I've also spent over a decade doing this work, particularly with women, and I have watched them repeat really similar patterns. I have watched it for so long, I know that these patterns do not work. So here's some of the things that people convince themselves that are just absolutely not true. Making more money is not going to fix the way you feel. Getting the dream job is not going to fix the way you feel. The relationship, the milestone, the achievement, the goal. That image that you have in your mind that you're going to post on your Instagram, it might give you a spike in adrenaline, right? It might make you feel really good in the moment, but it will not fix the way you feel because the way you feel is an internal feeling and nothing external can ever touch it. Not long term. So today, let's talk about five different things that you can do that will help you to love your life while you build your life. Like, how do you love the life that you have while aiming at the life that you want to have? Because it matters whether or not you're happy, guys. It matters that you love your life. Like, not just operating from an energy about trying to get to the future, but how do you actually enjoy what it is today? Not just from the perspective of wanting you to feel better, which I do. But this is also, you know, the woo woo in me believes that we attract more of what we are. We don't attract what we want, we attract what we are. And if your energy is always one of like, I just gotta get there, I just gotta get there, I just gotta get there. That is an energy of scarcity. An energy of scarcity. A vibration of scarcity will only produce more scarcity. If you want abundance, you have to live in an attitude of abundance. You have to see what you've already got. Let me give you science behind this. Because when I say woo woo, some people's eyes roll back in their head. So I always look up science to make sure that I'm not just making this up. One of the most important studies in positive psychology is about what actually creates lasting happiness. And it has been proven time and time again that our external circumstances, the stuff on our wish list, the thing on your vision board, the things that you're waiting for, that Accounts. Listen to me. To only 10% of long term happiness. 10%, that's nothing. External circumstances account for 10% of long term happiness. Which begs the question, Rachel, what's the other 90%? It is our baseline disposition and the intentional daily practices we choose. Let me say it again for the people in the back. 90% of your happiness is based on what your baseline disposition is. What is your attitude like when you wake up in the morning? What is the foundation? What are you coming back to? We're not talking about yourself ceiling. We're not talking about where you can get to on your best day. We are talking about your floor. What is your floor disposition and the intentional daily practices that we choose. That means that the things you're chasing, the house, the money, the dream guy, mathematically those things can only give you so much. And your brain then adapts and goes right back to the baseline. It's called a hedonic treadmill. And I will not go deep into this, but there's a lot of info on this idea. But essentially, you're running and running and the scenery keeps changing, but you stay exactly in the same emotional place. Think about it. Anyone who is listening to this right now. Have you experienced success in your career, success in your life? You get to a new level with your finances or something great happens, and then six months later you're at this new level, but you accidentally pulled all your old baggage with you. You're like, how am I still this insecure? I've done all these things. How do I still feel like I'm going to run out of money? I make more money right now than I did in five years combined. It's because that old wiring is still there inside of a new experience. The way to get off the treadmill is not to aim at another goal, because that's what we do. We're like, oh, I thought that it would be making 150,000 a year, but I'm still not happy, so it must be that I need to make 250,000 a year. We keep aiming at things outside of ourselves, but the way off the treadmill, it doesn't work like that. It's training yourself to experience your current life differently. And that is possible. But it's a skill, guys. That is a skill. That is a practice, a learnable, Practiceable. Absolutely within your reach skill. Okay, don't tell anybody, but we're trying to buy a new house. All right? We're trying to buy a new house. And not only are we trying to buy a new house, but we are buying a house that's like essentially my dream house. And it is my dream house because there is more fabulous outdoor space than even like, I don't even pay attention to what's going on in the house because the outdoors is so much fun. If you love being outside in the spring and the summer, just like I do, we're going to do a whole makeover on Wayfair. Okay, Wayfair is the place to get all the things you need for every part of your house. But this time of year, most especially to make that outdoor space so elevated, so fabulous, so comfortable, so ready for a little spritz out on the patio. They have filters, they have customer reviews, they have visual tools that help you to actually imagine which items will look good in your space. With everything from seating to grills, lighting and decor, Wayfair is your one stop Shop for home. Get prepped for patio season. For way less head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I R.com Wayfair every style, every home. From corner stores to content creators, businesses are what keep the world moving. But no matter what type of business you're running, staying connected is crucial to success. That's why millions of business owners rely on Spectrum Business for fast, reliable Internet, advanced WI fi, phone, TV and mobile services. Shop packages built for your business budget with tailored connectivity solutions. Plus Spectrum Business even offers 100% US based customer support 24. 7 Visit spectrum.combusiness to learn more restrictions apply Services not available in all areas. There are things that you can choose to do inside of every day that will help you to register the good that you have right now. All right, so let's go through my five favorite things. Number one, Fall in love with possibility. This one I kind of gave away when I started talking about the marathon metaphor, because that is falling in love with possibility in one story. Because running a marathon, at least for me, was about the anticipation of what it would be like to cross the finish line for the first time. And the dream of crossing the finish line with a marathon happened after I crossed the finish line with a half marathon. And the half marathon dream happened after I crossed the finish line with a 5K. There's something really cool that happens to our brains when we have something to look forward to. And I kind of wonder how many of us are struggling with with just the anticipation, like we don't have anything to look forward to. I am so excited to plant a garden and if you are a gardener, you know that I'm probably a little bit late on the season. I hadn't ever obviously lived on the east coast before, so I don't have a greenhouse. I don't even. I'm in a rental. I don't even have a house yet where I'm allowed to plant a garden. But people who garden around here, if you want to start from seed, they started planting months ago. And then they grew their little seedlings in a greenhouse. And then slowly but surely, there's this whole plan for how you plant out a garden. And I don't know when I'm gonna have a garden, but I went to a seed store. I drove like an hour and something to get to an organic seed store yesterday. I was there for way too long. I bought way too many seeds. I started watching videos about garden journals and planting journals. And I don't know when I actually get to have a garden. I don't even know if that might be something that doesn't get happen until next year. But I am so freaking excited about the possibility of a garden. And I know that's dorky, okay? I know not everybody cares, but we have to have things in our lives that we are looking forward to. The brain does this thing. Scientists call it anticipatory dopamine. It releases dopamine, which is the good feeling chemical, not just when you get the thing, but when you are anticipating the thing. That means that planning the thing and dreaming the thing and getting excited, it is literally medicine. Your brain is generating the same reward signal as having the thing just by imagining it. There's so much research on vacation that for most people, the most happiness associated with a vacation comes before. For the vacation, it's the anticipation and looking forward to it. So when I talk to you about falling in love with possibility, I'm not talking about fantasizing. I am talking about what are the things in your life that you can look forward to? And this can be little things and big things, but you are a grownup. You get to plan out how you want your life to be. Do you have anything on the docket that. That you're excited about? Here's how you can take this on, right? Number one, make a possibilities list. Write down 10 things like grab your phone, grab your journal, and write down 10 things that you could get excited about. It does not matter if they're small or weird or impractical, because honestly, the more unique these are to you, the better effect I think they'll have. But name Things that pump you up and shift your energy. And Once you have 10, you can go 10 levels deeper on each one. So maybe you're like, well, I am really excited about, you know, Romantasy. I love a fantasy romance novel and it's super dorky, but I don't care. I really love it. Awesome. From just that one thing, you could get really excited about particular authors. You could get really excited about writing your own fantasy novel. You could get really excited about going to bookcon. You could get really excited about going on Goodreads and joining a community. There's like all of the things you're excited about. Have all of these branches in the tree that you could follow to find more things to get excited about. The thing. From that list, a whole world could open up to you. And from that list, you then could plan something to look forward to. It does not have to be big and it does not have to cost you a lot of money. But is there something from your list that you could add to the calendar that you could get excited for? Is it dinner with your girlfriends? Is it a date with your wife? Is it, you know, a solo trip where you go somewhere? Like me going to the seed store yesterday? Is it a road trip or a concert or something that future you would be so pumped about? Put something on your calendar. When you put it on your calendar, it becomes more real. Number two, romanticize your life. Even the boring parts. This is something that the influencers on Instagram, I think, get totally right. And I know that there are people who don't like content that's like, aesthetically pleasing or romanticized because they're like, well, that's not what it really looks like to make a cup of coffee. That's not what it really looks like to do dishes or to make sourdough bread. Pam, why do you care? Why on earth would I want to watch a video of what it really looks like to do my laundry? No. I want a well lit, aesthetically pleasing amber lighting set to fantastic music, probably by Harry Styles. I want that video. My real life is is not pretty. It is not real. I want to choose things that make it feel a little bit more like a scene in a rom com. Not every day, but my goodness, let's add some freaking whimsy. You guys, come on. Life is hard. You know this. Can we make some fun out of what we've got to do? Can we live a little? Like there is so much going on in the world right now. I'm not telling you to, like, become an Influencer and start videoing yourself doing matte Pilates in your basement floor. That is not what I'm talking about. But could you find moments in your life? Could you light a candle? Could you light a candle? Could you slow down while you drink your coffee? Could you buy yourself a beautiful journal? Could you put on the nicer pajamas? Could you make the house smell good? You know, whatever is gonna add a little romance to the stuff you are already doing. Again, positive psychology reinforces this. It's called savoring. That is the deliberate active practice of noticing and appreciating positive experience. And researchers out of Berkeley confirm it is one of the most powerful evidence back tools to increase your well being. Not passive, not being cheerful, active. But it means that you have to choose to romanticize those parts. Can you savor moments in your life on purpose? Can you use the good china on a Tuesday night to serve turkey meatloaf? Your brain will catalog the experience. You will literally train yourself to notice how special your own life is. So tactical ways to romanticize your life. Create rituals, not just habits. A routine or a habit is something that you check off. A ritual is something that you embody. It is a different intention. The coffee is exactly the same. But when you choose the nicer mug, when you have a nice journal, when you put on some French jazz cafe music in the background and how you receive that experience completely changes. Document the small moments. Take a picture of the things that you really love. Or write a line in your journal about something that you experienced today that was really beautiful. Start noticing how the light looks first thing in the morning. Start noticing how the tree is growing leaves outside your kitchen window. Start noticing how certain music makes you feel more romantic, makes you feel like you're in a movie about your own life and play that music more. Start noticing tiny little details about your partner or your children or your best friend. Capture those experiences in ways that feel good to you. The act of noticing and capturing that tells your brain that it matters. Slow down. You have got to slow down. Eat one meal this week without any technology involved. It stresses me out, honestly, that I need to say just one meal. Because you should never have tech with your meals. But if I told my teenage sons that they'd be like, what are you talking about? They want to watch Netflix while they eat every single bite of food. But at least one meal, guys, that there is no technology involved. You're just in a room, hopefully maybe listening to vibey music. But always able to enjoy the food, to notice the food, to talk to the people around you. Wiggle your toes right now. Right now. Just as you're listening, wiggle your toes. Did you even remember you had feet until just then? It sounds so stupid, but if you don't tell your brain to notice things, then you won't wiggle those toes again. Put your feet firmly on the floor. Yeah. Be here. Be present where your feet are. Slow down. The last thing that you can do to help romanticize your life is remember that you are the main character. Babe, you are the main character. You are not a random side character. You are not the best friend. You are not in someone else's movie. You are the main character in the movie of your life. What would the main character do today? What would the main character wear today? How would she move through her morning? Where would he go to lunch? What decision, decision would the main character make? Be here. You belong here. This is your story. This is your life. This is your one chance act like it. You do not need a better life. You need to feel differently about the life that you have. And the beautiful, weird, counterintuitive thing is that when you start treating your ordinary life like it's worth something, it starts to feel like it's worth something. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I have been going to therapy on and off since I was a kid. And I actually just got back from a week long trauma therapy retreat because I believe that therapy is something we do during any part of our life where we feel like we need some extra support. And it just so happens that May is Mental Health Awareness month, which is a really good reminder to check in with yourself and see if you might need a little extra support. The things that I struggled with in my early 20s are very different than the things I struggle with at 43, and they are no less valid than they were back when I was younger. In fact, I would say they're even more important to get a handle on because as I get older, I don't want to carry these things with me into my future. Having someone to listen to you, to understand, and to support you in accessing tools that you will need can make all the difference. Better Help is the world's largest online therapy platform. In fact, you can really quickly get matched with a therapist by taking a short questionnaire to identify your needs. And we love better help because if that therapist doesn't work for you, you can get matched with someone else really quickly. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up to get 10% off betterhelp.com Rach that's B E T-T-E-R H E-L-P.com

[B]

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[A]

go on artist dates so this idea comes from Julia Cameron. She wrote a book about 25 years ago, maybe 30 years ago, called the Artist's Way and it's really famous in settings around creativity and people who work in creative fields. I think it's a beautiful practice for anybody anywhere. It's more of a workbook than a book book. So for those of you who like to work through, you know, activities, it's a 12 week program. But one of the things that she talks about is this idea of taking yourself on a weekly date. She calls it an artist date. And it's a solo adventure. It's just for fun. It's just for you. It is not meant to be productive, it is not meant to be optimized and it is not in service to any anything except feeding the part of you that doesn't show up on your to do list. A bookstore, a pottery class. I love to go on artist dates to museums. I've gone to toy stores. Yesterday I went to. I told you, I went all the way an hour away and went and shopped for seeds. It's going on a walk in a neighborhood that you've never walked in. It's going to a dance class where you don't know anybody, trying on clothes you would never buy. By going to see a movie by yourself. Anything that feels interesting or a little different and is just genuinely for you. Now can I just like take a beat here and call something out that I don't know if this will resonate with you and I don't know if this is something that you are seeing. But I am seeing a real. I don't even know what I would call this. Guys like epidemics sounds so dramatic. But I am seeing a real surgence of people over 40 in particular who are just flat. They're not failing, they're not in trouble, they're not in crisis. But they are also not alive. They're tired, they have no energy, and they have lost interest in the things that they used to love. And sometimes if you're a woman over 40, sometimes that's hormonal, okay? Sometimes you need to have some labs done. You need to talk to a naturopath doctor. You need to get things in check. Sometimes it's sleep deprivation, right? Or their nutrition's off or something physical needs to be addressed. But what I think is really happening for a lot of people over 40 is that they are mildly depressed. Now, obviously I'm not a doctor and I'm not a therapist. And if something deeper is going on, you need to talk to someone qualified. That's not me. But I have experienced mild depression. I have experienced serious depression. And mild depression is dangerous in so many ways. But one of the biggest one is that it's mild, right? It's not extreme. And so people sort of just live with shows up as flat. I don't know how else to describe it. Like, it's just like a flatness. It's dullness of spirit. It's low grade sort of numbness that we have accepted as normal. It's like you're not getting super sad, but you're also not getting super happy. You're just kind of like right there in the middle. And having spent years and years working with women who are working on their lives, I can tell you that one of the greatest things that you can call into your life that you can experience that will change everything for you is passion. Passion about freaking anything, you guys. Passion. Like being excited about sourdough bread, being excited about getting those mini donkeys or those mini pigs or whatever other mini farm animal you have your heart set on. Like getting excited about vintage shopping or going on a trip to Paris someday. Like, get excited about something. Get excited about something dorky or nerdy that nobody else gets but you even better, because then you can go find some other weirdos who are super into the thing that you're super into. Passion is so important, and it is the antidote to this feeling of being stuck or this feeling of being uncertain. When you are passionate about your life, you're not sitting around like, oh my gosh, what is my purpose? What is my plan? What is my 5, 10 year goal? You're like, girl, I am so excited. I'm about to make some jalapeno cornbread and, and some chili that'll set your hair on fire. Let's go you're pumped. You don't need all the other crap. You are present in this day, passionate about the life that you have. If you are not certain about how to find passion. Greatest hack I know. Go try some new stuff. Literally, go try new things. Go do things that you've never done before. Neuroscience tells us that novel experiences like science, stuff that you have not done before, places you've never been, situations that you don't actually totally know what to do yet they activate a reward system in your brain that is more powerful than any familiar experience can be. Your brain is literally designed to come alive when you do something new. Think of it this way. You being on autopilot is the enemy of you feeling alive and passionate. Artist dates break you out of autopilot. Even if you go somewhere where you're like, that was kind of lame. It doesn't matter. It was something new. My challenge for you is to pick one new thing this week. 1. Go somewhere alone. Do not invite your partner, your girlfriend, your random friend who's going to think that it's weird. Do something you haven't done. Go to a place in your town you've never been. Go walk around the library. Go walk around the lake. Give yourself the experience of not being able to go on autopilot because you've never been to this place before. Your soul is begging you to show up for your life. And showing up for your life is going to mean that you got to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Okay, I don't care what it is. But challenge yourself to go do something this week that feels new and exciting and different. Stop waiting for big wins. Start celebrating everything. Stop only celebrating the finish line. Keeping your eyes on a big win. Yes. It's so cool. It gets you to move forward like you're headed in a direction. I love a goal. But if that is the only thing that you're going to celebrate, you could go years without acknowledging how hard you are working. That makes the process feel like punishment. And nobody sustains something long term that feels like continual punishment. Again, there's research behind the idea that celebrating something is actually motivating for you. They have shown that if you celebrate immediately after doing behavior, not just like checking a box, yay, I did it. But actually celebrating. It wires the behavior into your brain. The emotion of of you celebrating tells your nervous system that this is a good thing. Think about it. How often are you going and working out? How often are you making good nutritional choices? You're doing the thing, and then you get to the other side of it, and you're beating yourself up because you didn't do it as hard the next day, or you're beating yourself up because the next day you had bread or fries or whatever you've deemed to be terrible. You immediately beat yourself up again. So it's like, no matter what you do, it's never enough. No matter what you do, your brain is wired to think like, yeah, it's all. It doesn't matter. It's all punishment. I'm never good enough. Imagine what happens if you go do a workout and then you just hype the hell out of yourself and you're like, yes, Queen, we crushed that. We did that thing. Yes. Oh, my gosh, look at me. I bench pressed £5. I'm so proud of myself. I couldn't have done that. You have to be your own best cheerleader, guys. You have to be your own best coach. You have to be. You have got to celebrate how hard you are working, because you are. You are working so dang hard. And you need to acknowledge it. You need to celebrate the effort, not just the outcome. Life is the journey. It's not just the goal at the end of it. It is what you do. Today, if you read one page of a book. Celebrate yourself. Did you send the email that you've been putting off for three weeks? Celebrate yourself. Did you get out of bed the first time the alarm went off? Instead of hitting snooze? Celebrate yourself. When you do something good, you need to acknowledge it because it counts. Create a ritual of celebration, and your version is gonna look different than mine. I think it should be slightly theatrical. I think it should probably be something a little bit over the top, but whatever makes sense to you. Please ask yourself right now if you are doing a good job of celebrating how hard you're working, because my instinct is probably not. And can I just add, do not choose a celebration ritual that actually sabotages the thing that you're celebrating. I used to do this when I was younger. I would be like, oh, my gosh, I worked out so hard. Let me celebrate with a piece of cake. Which created shame, which then took me on a shame spiral. It just like, let's just be smart. Let's choose a celebration ritual that doesn't hurt any of the goals in your life, but just acknowledges how hard you're working. The more that you celebrate, the more that your brain will connect progress with good feelings. And the more your brain connects progress with good feelings, the more progress you're gonna make. My last one. My Last thing that you can do to fall more in love with your life is to curate your energy. This is probably the most important one on the list because everything else that we've talked about today, it's all internal work. And this one is actually, I guess, about like, protecting your environment so that your internal work doesn't get thrown off. Curate your energy. Everything that you're trying to do in your life, you're growing, you're evolving, you're trying to build a life that you love. You're trying to hold emotional boundaries, heal relationships, all of that stuff that is internal work that is happening inside of you. But doing that internal work is made so much harder when your external environment constantly pushes against it. So these are, you know, what you're consuming, who you spend your time with, how you spend your attention. All of it is either giving you energy or taking it away. There is no neutral guys. You are either in environments that are supporting the person that you want to be, or you are in an environment that is harming the person that you want to be. And most of us have never actually owned, audited, which environment is which. So, for instance, there's a study I found out of the University of Pennsylvania, and they saw that if you limited social media to 30 minutes a day, that people immediately felt a significant reduction in loneliness and depression in three weeks. Three weeks. And here's what's so crazy to me about this idea. Social media is supposed to be this thing that makes us feel more connected, more connected. But they found when people stopped using it, that they actually experienced less loneliness and less depression. And part of the reason why is it wasn't about how much social people were consuming, it was how they were consuming it. Passive scrolling, consuming things without any intention behind it is constantly linked to lower well being. When you intentionally look for something, right, let's say you're like, you're going to go on vacation and you want to go look for beautiful outfits on Instagram. Or if you're like me and you're obsessed with gardening and you watch a thousand videos about how to plant a garden, that is intentionally using social media to help you with things that you're interested in. But for people who are just mindlessly scrolling, the problem is not their phone. The problem is the autopilot. And our phones are one of the biggest. You can't see me, I'm using air quotes. It's one of the biggest environments in our lives. Here's how I would take this on. Number one, do an audit of who you need to unfollow, go through who you follow. And now Instagram has this thing where you can actually see. Look it up, because I don't know exactly how to get there, but you can actually see what the algorithm thinks you're interested in. And the subjects show up as little boxes. You can literally, like, hit an X. Like, no, I don't want to see politics. No, I don't want to see that. Yes, I do want to see videos about dogs. You can intentionally tell the algorithm what to show you so that you are not being exposed to things that you don't want to see. You can actually curate your environment while you're doing that. Who do you need to unfollow? And maybe some of these people are your friends, your family. We don't want to unfollow them because we don't want to start drama. But at the very least, you can mute those accounts so you're not consuming anybody that's triggering you or freaking you out. But protect your mental real estate. Protect your mental real estate. You are the only one who can put boundaries up around your piece. So what do you need to stop consuming so that you can feel more peaceful? When you think of your environment, aim at surrounding yourself with expanders. Who are the people in your life or even just media that you consume that make you feel like more is possible for you, like life is beautiful, like things are good. Get more of those people. Follow more of those people. Read more of those books or listen to more of those podcasts. More of that energy. Intentionally and on purpose. Say no to things that drain your energy. If it is not a hell yes, it's a no. If someone asks you to do something and your immediate reaction is not hell yes, I would love to do that, then you should say no. Dude, you need to be thoughtful about how you use that energy. And when you use your energy, when you spend your precious life doing things that you don't want to do, it's never going to make you feel good. And look, life has obligations. Life has responsibilities. Life has things that we do not want to do, but we have to do. So if you know that there are things in your life that you will not have the ability to say no to, please always say no to the things that you can when you have a choice, when it's discretionary, your energy needs to be protected. And you need to guard it like it's finite, because it is. Last bit here is make space for what actually fuels you. Put it in the calendar. Schedule the dinner with your Girlfriends, protect your morning routine. Book the class. Stop waiting for free moments to appear. Because they won't. They won't. You have to make the moment. What is the thing that fills you back up? Are you getting enough of it? What would it take for you to get more? I've told you guys before that on my calendar, it's color coded. I use a Google calendar and each different type of event in my calendar is a different color. And for me, events that are self care, going to a yoga class, getting a massage, getting a manicure, those things in my calendar are yellow. And this is such a great hack because I can look at a week or I can look at a month, and if there's no yellow on my calendar, I am not living life correctly. It is that simple to me. And an artist date going to buy seeds that's yellow. Like, do you have things right now, actively on your calendar that are going to fill you up? Or is everything in your life draining you? Because if everything in your life is draining you, no wonder you feel flat. No wonder you feel like there's no spark. You are fighting for your own attention every single day. It matters. The quality of your life is largely going to be determined by your internal environment. But you must set up your external environment to protect that internal world. Five things fall in love with possibility. Romanticize your life. Go on artist dates, celebrate small wins, and curate your energy. As always, I'm going to challenge you to pick one. Just one, not five, not three. Pick the one thing that felt like it landed and was true for you. And then see what you could do this week to pull it into your actual life. So maybe that's your schedule, your morning routine. Find somewhere real to put that idea and see if it makes sense to you. When you love your life, like when you're actively and intentionally choosing to appreciate what you have, it's not just that everything feels better though. It does. It's that it generates energy. One of my favorite quotes is a power plant doesn't have energy. A power plant makes energy. Anything in your life that you want more of, you have to make more of. You have to use what you've got and make more of it. Momentum is going to attract more momentum. Energy is going to attract more energy. And when you choose to create more of those things, the outside stuff starts to shift. And it's not shifting because you wished harder, because you manifested in a bigger way. It is because you're changing your internal state. And your internal state started projecting something different into the world. You have a life worth loving right now. And it doesn't mean that you have to stay here. It doesn't mean that you can't want more. But if you learn to love the life that you have, you will be able to build a life beyond your wildest dreams. The more that you choose to focus on what is already good, the more good you will see. That is not a bumper sticker. That is literally how your brain works. Guys, if this episode gave you something today, if you got a good idea out of it, or if you're digging the content, we would so appreciate it if you would share it with a friend. Text it to someone in your life who you think needs to hear this or post it on your social whatever feels right to you. Be sure and subscribe if you haven't already. We are here for you every Monday and every Thursday and I would love to keep hanging out until then. As always. Always. I love you and I'm rooting for you. The rachel hollis podcast is produced by me, rachel hollis. It's edited by andrew weller and jack noble.

[C]

And Doug there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car and with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

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Oh no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Together we're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

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Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

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[D]

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