Kid Fury (3:04)

I think my answer would be some. Either the word cunt.

Crystal (3:13)

Okay, I see what we doing.

Kid Fury (3:16)

Or it would be something like black queer people are God.

Crystal (3:27)

Like that one. Like that a lot. You know what, I think I'm gonna go with a classic and just Put words mean things.

Kid Fury (3:35)

Ooh, that's a good one.

Crystal (3:36)

Words mean things. There's too many of y' all act like you can just say, what the fuck ever and it don't matter, or.

Kid Fury (3:42)

That one got a style.

Crystal (3:43)

It never. That is a timeless message.

Kid Fury (3:46)

Yeah, that one's going to live on.

Crystal (3:48)

Yeah. Words mean things, so choose yours carefully.

Kid Fury (3:51)

Yeah, I agree. What is your favorite pattern?

Crystal (3:56)

Pattern? Like hounds?

Kid Fury (3:58)

Yeah, like, that's my answer. That was my answer.

Crystal (4:07)

Houndstooth. Yeah, I think, actually, houndstooth paisley's fun if you're.

Kid Fury (4:12)

That was my second one.

Crystal (4:13)

Wow. Locked in. You know, I don't think there's a pattern. I. I'm not sure that there's one I dislike.

Kid Fury (4:25)

I like argyle if that's a pattern.

Crystal (4:28)

Yep. Argyle's a good one. I'm over here Googling patterns, trying to. Trying to find out, because houndstooth and paisley were just the first two that came to mind.

Kid Fury (4:37)

I don't like tartan.

Crystal (4:39)

Oh. Oh. I was about to say tartan is classic. If you are having yourself a picnic.

Kid Fury (4:46)

If you have straw in your mouth.

Crystal (4:48)

Well, okay. Now. Not too much on my culture. Not too much on my people and my heritage.

Kid Fury (5:00)

I just like. It's too, like, on the nose for me. I don't know. Maybe because it isn't my culture, is it? It just looks like a costume in my head.

Crystal (5:12)

Is it paisley that's on, like, the nigga bandanas? Like the blue bandanas with them designs? Is that paisley?

Kid Fury (5:19)

Yes.

Crystal (5:20)

Okay. I was about to say I like that one. And I like chevron and, of course, plaid.

Kid Fury (5:28)

Oh, chevron is nice. And plaid is classic. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah. Plaid depends on color.

Crystal (5:35)

Yeah, it does.

Kid Fury (5:37)

Yeah. But I can't very well say I like argyle and not like plaids, just plaid sideways.

Crystal (5:44)

There's far more patterns than I would have thought.

Kid Fury (5:47)

Oh, baby.

Crystal (5:49)

Oh, my God.

Kid Fury (5:51)

Baby.

Crystal (5:51)

Google said be more specific. We have thousands of results available.

Kid Fury (5:57)

Honey, when you consider that a pattern is shaped, it's just.

Crystal (6:01)

Yep. It's just the same thing over and over, girl. We can do anything.

Kid Fury (6:04)

Lots to choose from.

Crystal (6:06)

Yeah. Oh, I'm thinking gingham. That's what I was thinking.

Kid Fury (6:09)

Gingham.

Crystal (6:11)

When I said. When you said tartan, I was thinking gingham.

Kid Fury (6:16)

Oh, no.

Crystal (6:18)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (6:18)

Okay.

Crystal (6:19)

Never mind. You know what? I don't really care for animal print.

Kid Fury (6:23)

Agreed.

Crystal (6:24)

I'm not big on animal print. I feel like.

Kid Fury (6:26)

Agreed.

Crystal (6:27)

When I'm in my cougar era, maybe, but I just.

Kid Fury (6:30)

Please don't.

Crystal (6:30)

Never been to. Never been big on it again.

Kid Fury (6:35)

Not on clothes.

Crystal (6:38)

I'm struggling to think of where else it would be. Like, on your sofa. Like, you get your sofa redone.

Kid Fury (6:45)

Yeah, I'm thinking about that, too.

Crystal (6:47)

And, like, leopard cheats, though. Oh, yes. Actually, I bet you. I bet you niggas do. I bet you niggas have animals. Silk sheets at that bet.

Kid Fury (6:58)

Of course.

Crystal (7:00)

Animal print.

Kid Fury (7:01)

See if he can. Where it can maybe fit in my life.

Crystal (7:04)

Oh, yeah, no, I have no space for that.

Kid Fury (7:06)

Or something.

Crystal (7:06)

I don't know, maybe in college, like, my steering wheel cover was zebra print or something, but other than that. Yeah, it's never been for me.

Kid Fury (7:16)

Walk A Flock of Flames says he was kicked out of a club recently, was denied access and got into an altercation. Next question. Where else should people who support Trump be restricted access from?

Crystal (7:31)

Damn.

Kid Fury (7:32)

Who else should have been?

Crystal (7:34)

I mean, like I said. I said at the top of this, at the top of the show that I feel like y' all belong in jail at this point. You still support Donald Trump, so I'm inclined to say you need to be restricted from the general public. Like, I would say, you know, restricted from schools or libraries, but you've kicked yourself out of those places. You. Yeah, well, no point in banning you from someplace you. You couldn't find the nearest one any fucking way, huh?

Kid Fury (8:01)

Yeah. Don't wanna be overly educated.

Crystal (8:03)

Wait, did he get kicked out the club for being a Trumpian or.

Kid Fury (8:07)

No, no.

Crystal (8:07)

Oh, I was about to say. Cause send me the name of this club. I need to book a flight. I need to go patron this establishment just because.

Kid Fury (8:18)

No, it might have just been cause of, nigga, to be honest with you.

Crystal (8:22)

You know what?

Kid Fury (8:22)

Too much into it.

Crystal (8:23)

No more if you know it's a Trump supporter in your family. No more invites to whatever the family is doing on the holidays. You don't get to come to the Labor Day barbecue. You can't come to Thanksgiving or Christmas. You gotta miss out on a Nie's Mac and cheese and Memaw's greens. You just have to, because you don't know how to fucking act. And you voted for all of us to die. So I think you being left out of our family festivities is a small price to pay. You made your choices.

Kid Fury (8:55)

That's a good one.

Crystal (8:55)

Yeah. Thank you.

Kid Fury (8:56)

I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna just say the church.

Crystal (8:59)

The church.

Kid Fury (9:00)

I mean, it may hold no difference to me because I'm not going, but okay. All things considered, hon.

Crystal (9:09)

I mean, y' all in that church lying and doing whatever you want to anyway, so.

Kid Fury (9:13)

Exactly. So now's the time to just go ahead and get to that supposedly. Well, it's too baked into exactly who that other man is, the man we're talking about. Well, I think we both answered that question. What? Oh, do you have a favorite childhood cartoon memory bit joke line?

Crystal (9:43)

I do, but it's so stupid. And every time I say it, we all are. Every time I say it, people are like, I legit. Don't know why that tickled you so bad. And I don't either, but it was one episode of the Proud Family, and I can't remember if it was Penny or Penny's mama. One of them was telling a joke, and the joke was, why did the monkey fall out of the tree? And everybody said, why? And she said, oh, God, Crystal. Because it was.

Kid Fury (10:20)

The way this joke takes you down. I mean, it is very. It's so bad.

Crystal (10:26)

It's like.

Kid Fury (10:26)

It's.

Crystal (10:26)

It's like not a great punchline. It's so stupid. But the simplicity of it. Plus, I think it was Trudy. I think it was Trudy. It might have been Penny. Whoever it was, the way that bitch cracked up. I. When I tell you, I laughed for like, I. I legit think it was like a solid 44 minutes. Like, they could not. My stomach was in. It was folded up, nigga. Like I was. I could not recover from that joke. When you. As soon as you said it, that was the first thing that came to mind. Like, I'm sure there are others, but that's the only. To this day, when I say it out loud, I cannot help but laugh. I think it's the visual, but kids laugh at anything, man. Any fucking time.

Kid Fury (11:12)

I mean, that is a very funny joke, but it's. I remember that when it's the. I think that it was two things. It was a unexpectedly dark joke, and then it was all. It was also that the character was trying to be funny and they weren't, but they thought they were probably is hilarious. Like, that cartoon was phenomenal in its writing and in its voice acting. When Penny. When somebody said something about the girl sisters and Penny said, those three big ashy girls that always go in the rail like it was just had a delivery to it. Oh, man. For me, there are so many. There are so. There are so, so many.

Crystal (12:13)

This wasn't my childhood, but when my brother was small, we watched cars and there was one line where they were talking about the Piston cup, which I guess is some sort of NASCAR prize or something, but they were talking about the Piston cup and One of the cars said, he did what in his cup.

Kid Fury (12:30)

I remember that joke.

Crystal (12:33)

And that was a good one, too. That one really got me.

Kid Fury (12:36)

That joke made my mother laugh.

Crystal (12:39)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (12:41)

And another joke that made my. I'll sneak in a Motherfury one for good. This is not hers either, but we went to see Shrek in the theater. In fact, I think we got to go, like, to, like, a screening through her job.

Crystal (12:55)

Oh, nice.

Kid Fury (12:56)

And there. Do you remember the scene in the very first Shrek where he goes to his. The house? This is before he meets the. Oh, it's right after he meets the donkey. And he goes to have dinner and he makes this disgusting meal. And then he pulls this wax out of his.

Crystal (13:20)

Oh, man.

Kid Fury (13:21)

And then he puts it on a candlestick and lights it.

Crystal (13:24)

Disgusting.

Kid Fury (13:26)

When that nigga lit that candle. Or would that earwax, rather. My mother, like you said, she laughed through, like, five scenes.

Crystal (13:37)

Oh, wow.

Kid Fury (13:38)

Like, she was like. She laughed from that joke probably until they saved old.

Crystal (13:47)

That made the movie for her the way I barely even remember that scene.

Kid Fury (13:52)

My mama, I love her so, so much. She's kind of similar to me in stuff that is unexpected. That's like. I think, like, that she wasn't. She was grossed out by the wax and she's like, oh, he's an ogre. Whatever. She was not prepared for him to use it as a candle.

Crystal (14:14)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (14:14)

Like that joke. She did something. And to this day, she talked. When she talks about that, she laughs just like you did. And she'll say that she laughed and said she was embarrassed because she was like, people are probably thinking, why is this bitch still laughing?

Crystal (14:35)

Because I was genuinely tickled. That's why.

Kid Fury (14:39)

Didn't see him coming. For me, it's probably. I can't think of anything specific, but there's. I watched a lot of Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies when I was Animaniacs.

Crystal (14:50)

Animaniacs had so many quotables.

Kid Fury (14:52)

Oh, a lot of good ones. Oh, my good. Oh, my God. Animaniacs. When. When they said that they need to. But they're, like, looking for fingerprints. And dot. The girl holds up the singer print.

Crystal (15:09)

Oh, yes.

Kid Fury (15:11)

And the brother.

Crystal (15:12)

Wildly inappropriate.

Kid Fury (15:15)

No fingerprints. And she looks at me and goes, I don't think so. It was like, as a kid watching that, I did not get it right.

Crystal (15:25)

Right.

Kid Fury (15:26)

Thankfully, I think they knew that.

Crystal (15:28)

Right? They did. They knew adults don't crack up.

Kid Fury (15:31)

As an adult, I was like, holy.

Crystal (15:35)

How did y' all get away?

Kid Fury (15:37)

Sneak that in there. But thinking about the fact that it Was like, also inspired by Looney Tunes, Warner Brothers. And the fact that those cartoons were not really for children. I mean, a lot of them, the.

Crystal (15:51)

Whole plot was trying to murder one another.

Kid Fury (15:54)

I mean, they were appetizers for movies. They would just be.

Crystal (15:58)

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Kid Fury (15:59)

You know, like, people would go out to see Lawrence of the Lawrence of Arabia or some shit like that fully in their 40s. And before you see a Daffy Duck cartoon. And sometimes they parody.

Crystal (16:11)

Yes. And they were always smoking, drinking, smoking, shooting each other. That was for grownups.

Kid Fury (16:17)

There's a cartoon where Daffy Duck is trying to get a part in a. He's, like, trying to become a star. And I think Porky plays, like, a casting director or producer or some shit, and he follows this man around the world, harassing him, trying to audition and show off his talent. And at some point, he just backs him into a corner under his office. And Porky Pig looks all terrified. He just came, like, crashing through a window. And he just goes, now won't you go and beat me, daddy to the nearest bar? Yes. I don't know what that is in reference to. I don't know if he meant physically beating his father or, like, beating his father.

Crystal (16:59)

Like.

Kid Fury (17:00)

Like a race in a race bar or whatever. But it was just out of nowhere, he did this little, wow. Suntry moment and goes, yeah, he didn't get the part. But to this day, I.

Crystal (17:16)

Okay him knocking the part.

Kid Fury (17:17)

I hear that little point.

Crystal (17:21)

How rude.

Kid Fury (17:24)

Those cartoons used to bring me. So.

Crystal (17:26)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (17:27)

Joy, man. I understand why they don't play them anymore.

Crystal (17:30)

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Plus, these kids are way smarter than we were and not in a good way. Like, yeah, they're too grown. There's not enough.

Kid Fury (17:38)

Yeah.

Crystal (17:39)

Not enough of a line between children and adults. Entertainment. So I think we need to be more careful about what we say these days. These kids will get it. You do that fingerprints joke now, I'm actually afraid of how many children will get it.

Kid Fury (17:54)

You couldn't. You couldn't.

Crystal (17:56)

Well, that's horrible, right? That actually should not have happened.

Kid Fury (18:00)

Horrible. That was so fortunate. I'm glad I did not get that joke. Oh, bitch. That day when you said, oh, no, these kids watch baddies. These kids don't care about that. They watch baddies. That was one of the. Oh, my God, that shit.

Crystal (18:16)

Watch what they want.

Kid Fury (18:17)

Heart attack. That was so funny. But you're right.

Crystal (18:20)

They listen to what their parents listen to. Parents don't censor their entertainment anymore when they're around their children and this is what we get.

Kid Fury (18:29)

Wow. What's the last thing that your dog did that pissed you off? Oh, God. Oh, God.

Crystal (18:36)

You know what? This. This actually happened just this morning. She has a. I. I keep having to remind myself. It's called. There's a. There's a very common phrase of follow you around like a puppy dog for a reason.

Kid Fury (18:50)

Yeah.

Crystal (18:51)

Because they follow you every goddamn where. And that includes within the house. Oh, countless times. Countless times. And I'm always like, oh, sorry, baby. And she just looking at me like, how dare you? But it's like, who told you to sneak up behind me, bitch? Like.

Kid Fury (19:05)

Like, mama, why are you even that comfortable? You're so small.

Crystal (19:10)

So it happened this morning. I was, like, trying to cook my breakfast, trying to get her breakfast together. It's hot. I'm like, ah, trying, you know, scrambling. And then here come this nigga just right in between my damn feet. And it's like, mommy's begging you to go. Just please, if you could just. So now I'm training her to sit and stay right outside of. Especially the kitchen. You need to sit and stay because I need you to not be underfoot. Especially, like, what if something falls on you? Something hot. Like, I'll never forgive myself. So now we're working on sitting and staying outside of the kitchen because you're on my nerves. She's nine pounds, so she is silent. And, you know, I leave you in the bedroom, I go do something in the kitchen, right? I turn around, and I. One day, I'm gonna break my neck because Lainey decided that she had to be right up underneath me for what, nigga? I'm not leaving. Like, we're. We live together. We always have.

Kid Fury (20:15)

That is giving me heart attacks the way that she will just. I will just be doing one thing and look over, and she is right there, and she's just looking at me like she had been there the whole time.

Crystal (20:28)

Yeah, it's so frustrating that. And when we go on walks, this bitch is the biggest fucking flirt. She never met a human she doesn't like.

Kid Fury (20:38)

Yeah, same.

Crystal (20:38)

And the trainer was like, you know what? It's nothing you can do about strangers. You just have to work on training her, like, and with the people, you know, your family and friends. But the strangers on the street, they want to talk to her. They want and they do. And she is so happy to. It's been three times where Lani has been so excited to say hi to somebody that she jumped up and then pissed. Like, she just pissed out of the pure joy of some stranger saying, hi, baby. That's all she needs. That's all you have to do for Lani to act like she wants to go home with you. I mean, up on the hind legs, twirling around, doing jumps, like auditioning for a new home. I'm like, bitch, you act like you're not cared for. You have a nice. It's humans don't have a life this nice. You live so well. Stop acting like I don't treat you right. Oh, I love her so much. My baby.

Kid Fury (21:36)

That is so funny, Link. The last thing that Link did that pissed me off. Oh, I'm so glad that nothing's, like, immediately coming to mind. It should.

Crystal (21:48)

Oh, well, she's not a puppy anymore. Puppies are aggravated.

Kid Fury (21:51)

She isn't, but girl, aggravated. The other day, I'm still in my bed and I on the computer doing something, tip tapping away, and I heard, like a wrestling next to me. And, you know, living In New York 10 years, I have a heightened sensitivity to little rustling noises.

Crystal (22:28)

Oh, yeah, because it could be a mouse.

Kid Fury (22:30)

It could very well be making.

Crystal (22:34)

But you're in LA now. You don't have them problems no more.

Kid Fury (22:37)

Right? Who knows what's out here? Some people.

Crystal (22:41)

Scorpion.

Kid Fury (22:41)

Let's just have an right now.

Crystal (22:44)

Scary California things.

Kid Fury (22:47)

Exactly. No, it was Link trying to fish a blow Pop out of trash.

Crystal (23:00)

Somebody dropped chicken on the sidewalk. Laney Thought Buffet. I said, I will beat your. Oh, yeah, I will beat your ass. You already got the most sensitive stomach on the planet and you want to eat sidewalk chicken? You've lost it. Not Link being like, you know, it's a treat in here with my name on it, and I know it, bitch.

Kid Fury (23:25)

I just slowly looked at her by lip, and she looked back up at.

Crystal (23:29)

Me and she put it back. Cause she knew good and damn well. Cause she knew.

Kid Fury (23:37)

She just walked away and I just said, bitch, I know.

Crystal (23:42)

I just. I said, I know.

Kid Fury (23:45)

You did not just try to take this out right in front of me, bitch. Like, right in front of my salad.

Crystal (23:53)

So it must have been unwrapped. A Blow Pop you didn't finish or something?

Kid Fury (23:56)

No, it was. No, it was. It was wrapped. It was a blow pop I didn't want to eat.

Crystal (24:01)

Wait, I just thought she smelled the sugar and was like, I'm getting that. This bitch.

Kid Fury (24:06)

Of course she could still smell the sugar.

Crystal (24:07)

Oh, of course, of course. Okay. Yeah, dogs in that sense, smell is crazy. But still. Who the fuck told you you could go fishing through the trash to get candy? Ain't no dog candy. In here. And you know that. That's why she put it back. She thought she was slick. Oh, they're so funny.

Kid Fury (24:26)

It was so funny. It made me angry that she did it while I was awake, sitting right there. I was like, ho. Are you cool?

Crystal (24:35)

She was like, you not gonna notice. Like, do you do this all the time? Just.

Kid Fury (24:41)

And it was so slow, too. And like.

Crystal (24:46)

Like a little kid trying to sneak. Like.

Kid Fury (24:48)

Yes. She was sneaking.

Crystal (24:50)

Like you and that Kool Aid. She's like, oh, my God, it's genetic.

Kid Fury (24:57)

Clearly, I'm where she gets it from.

Crystal (24:59)

Yep.

Kid Fury (25:00)

What's the last thing your dog did that made your heart feel all nice?

Crystal (25:04)

Oh, so many things. She's a snuggler. She's such a sweet baby. And she's learned how to give kisses. If I say kiss, then she'll, like, boop her nose next to mine, which is just.

Kid Fury (25:17)

Yeah.

Crystal (25:17)

Yeah. She's. I mean, it's way more of the sweet, heartwarming. Even when she barks at other dogs, she can. It's really insane how good their hearing is. She barks at dogs that are six miles away, and I'd just be like, lanie, I really appreciate you trying to protect Mommy, but look around. Look around. We're Gucciana. There's nothing going on here. There's not one damn thing going on here.

Kid Fury (25:51)

It's not.

Crystal (25:52)

Yeah. Oh, but when I come home, when I leave her, like, yesterday, I was at the Liberty game, and when I come home, it's like. She hasn't seen. It's like those videos of soldiers coming home from the war and seeing their dogs. Girl, you would think it had been years. I'm like. I was gone three hours, and Lainey is just like, this is the best day of my life. I wasn't sure that you would return. So that just always is the sweetest thing.

Kid Fury (26:19)

Um, I will half steal that one, because it is. When Link gets dropped off, if I'm here, the first thing that she does is. Will run extremely fast.

Crystal (26:36)

Gotta zoom me.

Kid Fury (26:37)

Oh, she's looking for me.

Crystal (26:38)

Got to.

Kid Fury (26:39)

And her first assumption is that I'm in my room. So if she comes around the corner and she don't see me, she. You would think Mike Lowery was raiding my home. Like, she bursts through the door and jumps up and is like, it's me, Father. I am home, still very cute, and I'm happy to be here.

Crystal (27:06)

She is so adorable.

Kid Fury (27:09)

So that. And I don't know. Everything that she does is really cute. Whenever I. When I FaceTime, my mom, she comes into the room. She recognizes my mom's voice now, right?

Crystal (27:25)

She's like, I also need to talk to Nana. Let me get on the phone. I got things to say.

Kid Fury (27:33)

G. Mom, I was about to say.

Crystal (27:34)

Does she call her, like a. A Jamaican endearing term for grandmother? Well, does she call her house stupid? Of course she doesn't. More like. Do you put that on her?

Kid Fury (27:49)

I just say grandma for her.

Crystal (27:51)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (27:52)

And my mom says, what did she say? Granddaughter.

Crystal (27:57)

Does she really? Oh, that's so sweet. Oh, my God, I love that.

Kid Fury (28:04)

I heard Ginger Minj won Drag Race. What's another one of your favorite lies?

Crystal (28:14)

The Epstein files don't exist.

Kid Fury (28:16)

I'm kidding. Who's someone who hasn't won Drag Race that you think is a drag superstar?

Crystal (28:24)

Shangela.

Kid Fury (28:26)

Oh, my God. We're twinning today.

Crystal (28:28)

Shangela got robbed.

Kid Fury (28:31)

Shangela.

Crystal (28:32)

Shangela. Katya.

Kid Fury (28:36)

Katya.

Crystal (28:39)

And although I think Shangela has some controversies, I probably shouldn't have said her name. Who else? I was about to say Shay, but Shay actually won the. So never mind. Yeah, I think Shangela and Katya are my. There are a lot. But I'm thinking, like, as I think back over the entire 98 years of this franchise, who was really excellent and just didn't win. And I think it's. Yes. Katya and Shangela.

Kid Fury (29:15)

That's a good way to work at her. That's a good way to look at it.

Crystal (29:22)

Who are you thinking? Although I am behind, I didn't watch. Whatever season just wrapped up, so I think it was an All Stars. Yeah, I didn't watch that.

Kid Fury (29:33)

10 or 11 or something. Ginger. One.

Crystal (29:36)

Yeah, I did hear that. I did hear that.

Kid Fury (29:38)

Which. Fine.

Crystal (29:41)

Yeah, like.

Kid Fury (29:45)

Okay, whatever.

Crystal (29:47)

I don't even know who I was.

Kid Fury (29:51)

Yeah, I think you're right in terms of. I would say Shangela. I would say Katya. I might say Naomi. Swift. Smalls. I might say.

Crystal (30:05)

Ooh, Naomi Smalls.

Kid Fury (30:06)

Cornbread. If Cornbread is still doing drag. Oh, I don't know. I can't think of anybody else now. Maybe Raven.

Crystal (30:23)

You're really going back?

Kid Fury (30:26)

Yeah. Cause I'm trying to think, you know, like, I can't. Once you get past, like, season 10 for me, it's hard for you to remember, like, the full cast.

Crystal (30:34)

Yeah. Oh, no, same, same. It's just so many seasons of this show.

Kid Fury (30:39)

There's so many now franchises, too.

Crystal (30:41)

Like, please, we. Yeah, we can't extend this to the international girls. We'll be here all day.

Kid Fury (30:47)

Right. Um, I just saw a clip of Jackie Christie swinging On her own child on national television. Who's another one of your favorite television moms?

Crystal (31:02)

Well, Ms. Barbara Howard Abbott elementary and icon Trudy Proud brought her up earlier, but desires she bears repeating. And. Oh, I don't know. What a hard category. There's just so many.

Kid Fury (31:30)

I think you gave it answers.

Crystal (31:31)

You know who was. You know who was so funny, Although that show was so white trash. The mama of Malcolm in the Middle.

Kid Fury (31:38)

Oh, my God. That was a. That is a good answer.

Crystal (31:44)

She was agreed and agreed she was really a fucking wreck. But. Oh. And, well, I don't know. I don't want to say nothing too obvious like, oh, Claire Huxtable. But. Yeah, I think those are my top three original kisses of.

Kid Fury (32:10)

Yeah, I'm gonna say Rochelle Rock. Everybody hates curtains.

Crystal (32:17)

Oh, yes. Yes. Oh, yes, Miss. Oh, my God. My man got two jobs.

Kid Fury (32:25)

Two.

Crystal (32:25)

I don't need this. Mommy ain't got two jobs.

Kid Fury (32:30)

Um, for good measure, I will say, um, J. Kyle for my wife and kids. Yes.

Crystal (32:46)

Yes. Tisha, you did that.

Kid Fury (32:49)

I really love that both of the. I mean, because those women have the range, but they were both given the room to be more than just like, oh, husband, you're so zany and have all the jokes and so fun. And I'm just dealing with your mess and taking care of your kids and being pretty. Like, Jay had moments where she got to be a hot mess and ridiculous and absurd or in. In cahoots with his foolishness. Or like, they got to be really full arounded characters.

Crystal (33:26)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (33:27)

And Tichina Arnold got to, like, act. They, like, they gave her the. And then pink diamond. I mean, rose quartz.

Crystal (33:41)

Wow, that's controversial. Yeah, but.

Kid Fury (33:46)

Or I could say.

Crystal (33:50)

But I get it.

Kid Fury (33:51)

Pearl diamond.

Crystal (33:54)

Pearl diamond.

Kid Fury (33:55)

Oh, like foster mothers.

Crystal (33:58)

Oh, I was like, what are we saying? Garnet for sure. Garnet. Garnet's like foster parents. Garnet don't count because Garnet is two lesbian moms in one. That's cheating. Yeah, that's cheating.

Kid Fury (34:13)

It is.

Crystal (34:16)

Okay, nice. Oh, this is still going. Oh, you did say 20. Wow. Okay.

Kid Fury (34:26)

I only have two more. And it's not 20. It's like 14. Sean Kingston's mother might be getting deported as a result of their crimes in the fraud department. Name a trip you'd love to go on. A destination trip. What would you love to go on a trip to out the country.

Crystal (34:53)

Well, I've never been to Mexico, which is crazy considering how many countries I have been to. I know I've never been to Mexico, so I am plotting on Tulum.

Kid Fury (35:03)

I Think you'll like it?

Crystal (35:05)

I'd like to see New Zealand.

Kid Fury (35:08)

Me too.

Crystal (35:08)

I would like to go to Nigeria with my Nigerian friend Terry. Just let me know when we going. Girl.

Kid Fury (35:17)

My food is gonna be so good. Oh, my God, I can taste the food.

Crystal (35:20)

I. I want to see every continent except Antarctica. I have no interests, but yeah, I wanna. I wanna go so many places. I wanna go to Tokyo. I wanna go to Australia. I wanna go to Australia to do blue. Shit. I can't even lie.

Kid Fury (35:33)

You're so silly.

Crystal (35:35)

I cannot even lie. I wanna go to Australia to do Bluey. I don't think.

Kid Fury (35:39)

Funny. So funny.

Crystal (35:42)

Yeah, I've been to Europe plenty of times.

Kid Fury (35:45)

I wonder what bluey attractions they have.

Crystal (35:47)

I think at least so much shit.

Kid Fury (35:49)

Like they have to and shit. Yeah.

Crystal (35:52)

What? I want to see blue heelers in real life. Those dogs, Blue and red heelers. And. Well, there's all kinds of stuff in Australia. I don't want to act like all y' all got is bluey, but that's my mane. I can't lie. Like, that's not the. The primary driving force here. What about you?

Kid Fury (36:09)

Well, you name a lot of the ones that I would also like to go to. And I will add a group. Greece. Like Mykonos or something.

Crystal (36:16)

Oh, yes.

Kid Fury (36:19)

In love with the landscape of Greece, the islands. It's like, oh, it looks really beautiful. I'd love to go there. And I liked it. Someplace in Italy.

Crystal (36:31)

Okay. Actually haven't. If I went to Italy, it was like, you know, on a train or something. I didn't stop and stay. So.

Kid Fury (36:39)

Yeah.

Crystal (36:40)

But I definitely do want to go to Greece and rent one of them gorgeous gowns that the girls be taking pictures in and take some of those photos. For sure. I want to do that.

Kid Fury (36:52)

Last question. LeBron James and Savannah James were videoed on vacations together aggressively jamming to Kendrick Lemont. Not like us. Once again, this comes after. After LeBron's biggest fan released a song called what did I Miss? Saying things about a certain someone popping out and also being in his house with those. What's a song that isn't romantic or has anything to do with romance that you could find romantic or may have romantic memories of? Follow me.

Crystal (37:38)

Okay.

Kid Fury (37:39)

Would you say, for instance, oh, I think wipe me down is romantic because that's a ridiculous reason. Or I have a silly memory of me and a former fling of mine listening to Sorry by Beyonce and it was so romantic because Blank.

Crystal (38:04)

Well, unfortunately, all of those songs actually are romantic songs of service. So, yeah, that's a very tricky one. I have no idea. I don't even know how to answer that. Hmm.

Kid Fury (38:25)

Me neither.

Crystal (38:27)

So. Okay. Yeah, I don't. Not romantic. That I would take in a romantic sense.

Kid Fury (38:37)

No, this could just be fun in a romantic sense, even though it isn't. I'll try.

Crystal (38:44)

Okay.

Kid Fury (38:45)

Like, what if it's the song Texas Hold? But no, that could be romantic.

Crystal (38:56)

Yeah, it kind of is. Like, you know, nigga, what you gonna do?

Kid Fury (39:03)

I had an answer. That's gonna get me canceled. Okay. That's it.

Crystal (39:08)

Okay. All right. Yay.

Kid Fury (39:11)

I hope you enjoyed this segment as much as the rest of life. Let's take a break.

Crystal (39:21)

Hey, y'.

Kid Fury (39:22)

All.

Crystal (39:22)

This episode of the Read is brought to you by Squarespace. We love Squarespace over here at the Read. They are the number one all in one perfect platform to get your website off and running. Okay. They give you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. With Blueprint AI, Squarespace's AI Enhanced website builder, you can quickly create a personalized site that aligns with your brand and goals. Plus, Squarespace also streamlines your workflow with built in tools for appointment scheduling, email marketing, invoicing and seamless online payments to keep your business running smoothly and ensure you're paid on time. I do love Squarespace. We have been using Squarespace over here at the Read and for our own personal websites and different ventures for years and years now. Maybe almost 10 years because it is so easy to do. It's easy to sign up, easy to get a design together and easy to start making money and showing off what you offer through Squarespace and their incredible website design capabilities. So if you're ready to launch your site, head to squarespace.com the read to start your free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code the read to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's squarespace.com therad let them know Kiff here and Crystal sent you.

Kid Fury (40:43)

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Crystal (41:51)

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Kid Fury (42:42)

Chime checking account required okay, we're back and it is time for letters.

Crystal (42:48)

Send your questions to askthereadmail.com we may read them aloud on the show. We have a couple of quick questions here for you. The first one comes from Tess who says I just watched Sentence for the second time and then I went back and list to your episode where you talked about it and I wanted to ask Kef Yuri if he's watched in the flesh. Wunmi Mosaku is in is a It is a short British TV show about reintegrating vampires back into society a few years after a zombie uprising. Very fun. Also deep and queer and well acted. And Woonmi is in the second season and she's great. If you haven't seen it, that is a big recommendation for you.

Kid Fury (43:28)

I mean if she's in it. I will 1000% watch it second season.

Crystal (43:31)

There she.

Kid Fury (43:34)

Oh, God, she's excellent. She's gorgeous. I love her. But no, I don't think I've ever, ever heard of that before. It sounds awesome. I'll check it out.

Crystal (43:41)

Well, there's another one for you. This is from Saint E. Who just who says, my question is if Kid Fury has seen or heard about the new anime about the Jamaican samurai called Jamaica no Ja Makai.

Kid Fury (43:56)

No.

Crystal (43:57)

Wow. Okay. So there's a new Jamaican samurai anime coming out. Jamaica no Jama. I'm actually the voice actor on that show. They brought me in to do the accent, so. Okay, that's another recommendation for.

Kid Fury (44:15)

I heard something about black samurai film recently that I think Cynthia Riva was working on.

Crystal (44:28)

Really?

Kid Fury (44:30)

But I don't think it's not an. I know for sure it's not an anime. And it might be ninja and not samurai, but I think it's samurai.

Crystal (44:37)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (44:37)

Cause I remember Shirley Ralph saying that she would. That she loved Shogun, and she.

Crystal (44:45)

That's who I was thinking of when I heard Jamaican anime about a samurai. I'm like, oh, so this is Sheryl Lee Ralph.

Kid Fury (44:51)

So I might have heard about this in passing or something. Cause I was like, I know. I read something that was like, oh, there. There is my lady's job. Like, yeah, right there.

Crystal (45:02)

There you go. Okay, well, some recommendations for you to check out if you get a chance. Our first letter this week comes from Georgette, who says, dear Crystal and Kiffury, I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and we both live in the ridiculously expensive city of Los Angeles. I live with a roommate. I live with a roommate, and he lives with his mom and aunt. Because of our living situations, we've been talking about moving in together and getting our own place. I have a master's degree and earn about twice as much as my man does. I've made it clear both through words and actions, that I'm not interested in being a traditional wife or taking on that traditional role of women that's often expected in Latino culture. Now that we're seriously looking for a place, I suggest that we split the rent based on income. Maybe 60, 40, or 70, 30, since I make more. But he said he wouldn't be comfortable with me paying more because it wouldn't feel fair, and he would feel like he's not contributing equally to the household. So now we're looking at places that are within his budget. There are apartments I could afford comfortably, but if we were to split rent 50 50. He wouldn't be able to. I mentioned this and told him again I'd be willing to pay more so we can get a nicer place. But he still isn't okay with that, saying we should make sacrifices now to save as much as possible for the future. I think he has.

Kid Fury (46:15)

This is so fascinating.

Crystal (46:18)

I think he has a valid point. But part of me thought that moving in with a partner would mean finally living somewhere that reflected both of our wants, not just financial limitations. With the places in our current budget, I'd be saving money, but he'd be spending more than he does now, which makes sense if he lives with his mama. Okay. All of this has me wondering if we should just hold off on moving in together. Maybe we should keep making the sacrifice of spending time at each other's places and wait until we're married and have a joint account. Then our shared budget would be bigger and things could feel more equal. My question is, is it unfair for me to want to increase the budget now, even if I'll be the one paying more? I thought maybe we could look at a place that's more within my budget so he could see how much nicer it is. But I know it's unlikely he'll change his mind. Some of my friends say I should just let him pay 5050 and be happy that he's willing to contribute more. But at the same time, I want certain things in a home that might be considered luxuries, but still, I can afford them. Please help me make it make sense. Thanks, Georgia.

Kid Fury (47:20)

Like, okay. I think that you probably are best just, you know, sticking it out separately. Hey. Stopping to get some popcorn. Oh, that movie was so great. Okay. See, like, until everybody gets into a place where they're solid and comfortable, because this is. It's very fascinating to be like, okay, I can be comfortable. We can be comfortable in this situation that I'm completely fine with.

Crystal (48:12)

Yep.

Kid Fury (48:13)

Because I can afford it. Or we could be less comfortable because you're a man.

Crystal (48:25)

Yep.

Kid Fury (48:28)

So. And, like, unfortunately, I like you. I want to be with you. Or whatever. Anyway, so, unfortunately, that's, like. I guess I have to figure that out. Um, for me, there isn't an option outside of or an alternative to my comfort at home.

Crystal (48:53)

Yes. Like, I'm not going to agree.

Kid Fury (48:55)

Someplace that I'm not comfortable in because you don't want me to pay more than you can.

Crystal (49:04)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (49:05)

I won't do it.

Crystal (49:06)

Right.

Kid Fury (49:07)

So outside of. Because outside of the fact that I'm going to be uncomfortable to Her. I'm going to be resentful toward you. I'm going to have an edge of scorn, likely towards you.

Crystal (49:28)

Yep.

Kid Fury (49:29)

Every second that we're together. Because this where we live at.

Crystal (49:37)

Right.

Kid Fury (49:38)

That. That is not the foundation that you want to build a relationship leading towards marriage on. Hopefully leading towards marriage, you say right. So to me, the options are one of two things. One, we move in together in the place that's comfortable for me. Happy wife, happy life. Shut your ass up. Or you stay at your mama house. I stay over here with my roommate. We continue to make those wires cross or whatever.

Crystal (50:18)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (50:19)

For as long as we can. And then, you know, you let me know how that works out for you when we get our ducks in a row. Perhaps a bonus in the future. Perhaps someone gets a little bit of an extra. I don't know. I shook my breath, but a little.

Crystal (50:40)

Dick sucky on the side.

Kid Fury (50:46)

But yeah, like, that's it. It's either we're gonna get the nice place or we're gonna stay in the situation that we're in right now and build towards something together. There's no. But I would also be like, ugh.

Crystal (51:07)

Yeah. Yeah. The resentment part of this is so real. Yeah. I'm not moving into a place I don't like. That's just. That's the bottom line for me. That's really the bottom line. I'm not moving into an apartment if I have a choice. I'm not moving into an apartment that I hate. I'm not doing that apartment house, anything. I feel like if you compromise on this and you go find a $2,000 apartment instead of a $4,000 apartment, because that's something that he can afford more easily. The. You're going to continue to have to compromise in this way, or you'll just end up continuing to compromise in this way. Georgette, to me, it sounds like you have let go of this idea of, like, traditional roles, gender norms, and all this. Like, you make way more than this, man. And you're fine with that. It sounds like he has not let that go, though, because. And it's. And it sounds like he needs to, because I'm not. You talking about. Well, no, we should be saving money for the future and buying a place together. When it comes time to buy a house, are we gonna have to buy one based off what you've saved for a down payment or what I've saved for a down payment? Like, if we need to be saving money, then we might as well stay exactly where we are to Save the maximum amount of money. If that's the goal here. Are we looking to save money or are we looking to move in together right now? Like, because he's not gonna find nowhere cheaper than his mama house. There's nowhere. There's nowhere cheaper than that. So what's really the. What's really our goal here? Cause I'm always gonna be able to afford more than you can.

Kid Fury (52:48)

Yeah.

Crystal (52:49)

So what do. Let's be realistic about it. You dead ass insist on us being 50. 50? That's not traditional. Traditional is you paying for the shit. So it's like, sir, you're already compromising. It's like you don't realize that you are already compromising on these.

Kid Fury (53:04)

I'm sorry. I just had to throw something.

Crystal (53:06)

Whatever you think a man is supposed to do or be, it's like, you need to let go. You already found a woman who makes twice what you do and wants to be with you. And this is not like a deal breaker or anything else. Like, I would have jumped. When I say all over that 70, 30 shit right now. One of y' all could come get me. Talking about, you paid 30% of the rent, bitch. I'll be there. Me and Laney packing our bags tonight.

Kid Fury (53:37)

Tradition. That is the traditionally.

Crystal (53:42)

I shouldn't be.

Kid Fury (53:47)

You.

Crystal (53:48)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (53:50)

Having all of this shit together and.

Crystal (53:52)

Figured out and me making the hope.

Kid Fury (53:56)

If we're doing tradition.

Crystal (53:57)

This is what I'm saying. And it's fine to not want to be that. I don't want a traditional. Of course I don't want that bullshit, bitch. I'm not in chains, woman. I am loosed.

Kid Fury (54:08)

Right, but the moment that you said 50. 50. We were already outside tradition.

Crystal (54:12)

We were already outside of tradition, so.

Kid Fury (54:14)

We might as well just do whatever, which is get me. Do you know how many scary movies I've seen where these motherfuckers move into a fucking clearly haunted house? Because this bitch is like, well, just. I really love the furnishing. Or I just. And then the guy's just like, well, you know, gotta get the wife what she wants. Like, that's the whole. That's the tradition. Even down to getting possessed, bitch. Like, get her where she want to stay.

Crystal (54:40)

I know it's ghost in the mirrors, but I love it here. And you just gonna live. A doll will crawl out of the wall and kill you in two weeks, but you're living.

Kid Fury (54:47)

That's why I would say still be grossed out. Like, why? Like, I gave you the. The, I guess, pat on the shoulder that you were looking for.

Crystal (55:00)

Yep.

Kid Fury (55:01)

Oh, you shouldn't pay more than me as your husband. Oh, yeah, no, fine. Girl, it's 2025. I want to look here at it.

Crystal (55:09)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (55:09)

Oh, okay, cool. Like, that's what it should have been, right? You still trying to press me? Now we're. Now we're getting into some misogyny, into patriarchy. Now we're getting into bullheadedness. Right now we're getting into, like, just being fuck stubborn for absolutely no reason and making both of us ass backwards and uncomfortable forward. Do I want to hitch my wagon?

Crystal (55:27)

Yeah. Yeah, that's. Listen, this is what I'm saying. It's a lot of men in particular, I will say, because women been working, been covering the bills, been taking care of shit like that.

Kid Fury (55:41)

Yeah, that's mahab.

Crystal (55:45)

It's men in this weirdo thought process of like, oh, my woman can't do this, but she already is. She literally already is. Are you with the program? Yes or no? Money, bitch.

Kid Fury (55:56)

How do you think that she makes more money than you? She works. She's already doing the work.

Crystal (56:01)

That master's degree, it comes with a higher check. It does for just about everybody. She clearly, how much you make wasn't a deal breaker for her. So how long are we gonna pretend that I don't have twice as much money as you do? If he is dead set on finding an apartment within his budget and not yours, then I would say I'mma just stay where I'm at. I'mma just stay where I'm at. I'm not leaving a home where I'm perfectly satisfied to go move into the slums with a nigga because he's like, yo, all I got is 750amonth, okay? And I'm not trying. And it's not. That's what I was about to say. Sometimes higher rent isn't just luxuries. Cause a lot of these luxury buildings, somebody just threw up real fast. And them shits look nice on the outside and they are crumbling on the inside. But sometimes they're closer to work. They're closer to stuff for you, your family, your pets, if you need it. They're more central to entertainment. Like, if you. You live in la, you probably don't want to live out in the burbs. Like, you want something closer to the city or closer to your job, like. Or whatever. There's lots of reasons to get a more expensive apartment if you can. So, yeah, I can save money right where I'm at. I'm not gonna spend money to move to soothe Your ego. That really shouldn't even still. You're with a woman who makes double what you do, and you know that. So where is this shit about, no, I can't do it? You gotta. We gotta pay 50ft. Like, I mean, it's better than these men who are like, yeah, does she pay for everything? Like, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad he's insisting on paying. Like, this is not a. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but he needs to be fucking realistic.

Kid Fury (57:53)

Yeah, you draw the lines. That's what I'm saying. You like? Okay. That was so sweet of you.

Crystal (57:58)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (57:59)

Oh, my God. Oh, husband.

Crystal (58:00)

Thank you.

Kid Fury (58:01)

I'm not living over there. No, I don't want to live over there. I'm not doing. I'm not gonna do it.

Crystal (58:06)

Are we.

Kid Fury (58:07)

Okay.

Crystal (58:07)

Are we gonna. Are we gonna live apart until. Is there an end date here? Like, are we gonna. We're gonna do this until you make the same amount that I do. What if I always make double what you make? What if I'm not going to. I'm not gonna live. I'm not going to live.

Kid Fury (58:27)

That's what I'm saying.

Crystal (58:29)

Somewhere. I don't know. Next thing you know, three children, right.

Kid Fury (58:33)

And you walking down the fuck. And he's just like, no, we're not getting Honey Nut cheerios. Because they're 429. When this is just 350 and you realize that you have not had a Honey nut O in 10 years.

Crystal (58:49)

And you snap.

Kid Fury (58:49)

10 years.

Crystal (58:50)

And that's when you snap and you say, you know the fuck what? When I wrote into that podcast in 2025 and they told me, bitch, don't do it, I should have listened to them. Nigga.

Kid Fury (59:06)

Girl, I'm just saying you have to take notes. Like, there's a line between being considerate, being, like a decent. Not even just man. A decent partner. Yep. And then being, like, a dickhead.

Crystal (59:25)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (59:26)

For lack of better words.

Crystal (59:27)

Yeah. I mean, and it does sound like he's trying to be considerate, but he needs to also be fucking for real.

Kid Fury (59:33)

Be realistic.

Crystal (59:35)

Be fucking for real, bro. All right. Do you have a. Do you have a read? Do you have, like, a real read or. I'm trying to decide if we should do another one or not.

Kid Fury (59:44)

Um, I'm sure I don't have that much to say.

Crystal (59:48)

Okay, well. Okay, so here's one from Mrs. Heated who said, my husband just mentioned that his uncle wanted to give his number to his cousin because she came to Atlanta for the Cowboy Carter. For the Cowboy Carter show we attended. So, like, this is. Okay. Okay, wait. So the uncle wanted to give the husband's number to the cousin so that the cousin could call and be like, hey, can I come stay with y' all for Cowboy Carter in Atlanta? Okay. So she said, first off, I am so fucking tired of everybody thinking that just because we live in Atlanta, we are free lodging for people that they know. If I, the missus, doesn't invite you, then don't ask my husband.

Kid Fury (60:34)

I know that's black ass, right?

Crystal (60:36)

Our guest room is my office. And if you aren't my parents in laws or grandma, don't ask to come to my house. I am a full time doctoral student, a seventh grade teacher, and the parent responsible for commuting our children to and from various activities.

Kid Fury (60:49)

Oh, my God. Bless you.

Crystal (60:51)

It's too much. My husband. My husband is too fucking polite and loves the fact that the Virgo in me will say no, but he didn't realize that I hate this cousin. This bitch is disrespectful as fuck and has been the entire 20 years that she's known me. I've been with my husband since we were 20 and we're now 37. I just want to ask, how do I tell non parental people that my house is not for them and to not fucking ask if they can stay with me because they can't. Thanks, Mrs. Heated. She's rounding up with that 20 years. You said she's rounding up?

Kid Fury (61:27)

She said that the cousin's been stank for the 20.

Crystal (61:30)

The entire 20 years.

Kid Fury (61:32)

Oh, this is the. This is the husband's. This is the husband's cousin?

Crystal (61:36)

Yes, it's the husband's cousin.

Kid Fury (61:38)

Oh, okay. Yeah, makes more sense. All right, all right, I'm back. Okay, so you hate her. You have a completely logical, solid, and hilarious point. I feel like more folks in Atlanta. I mean, I'm sure I'm not on the clock app, but the girlies should be screaming this to the rafter. Probably like many major cities. I'm sure people do.

Crystal (62:06)

Oh, no. Y' all know in New York, we don't have space for that. You know that I do not have space for you to come crash for shit.

Kid Fury (62:14)

But the girlies will be playing to Atlanta for whatever the fuck and be like, oh, let me use your house as a hotel. God bless y'. All. Um, man, and then you hate her. I mean, I would just tell my husband directly that pretty much everything that you just said. Did I miss the Part where the husband is unreasonable or sounds unreasonable.

Crystal (62:43)

This is exactly what I was gonna bring up. You said your husband is too fucking polite, okay? This is a grown man. This is a grown man, okay? He's gonna have to grow the fuck up and tell his family yes or no. Why it's being left up to you when it's his family asking is crazy. So, like, is it that he actually doesn't mind, but he knows you would mind, so the answer is no. Whatever it is, he's gonna have to build up that courage within himself. When his uncle said, hey, can Alanis have your phone number? No, because Alanis is gonna ask to stay here. And Mrs. Heater don't play that. I don't wanna. Or you don't even gotta put it on your wife. You could just be like, no, we're not having house guests, the kids have cholera or whatever. Like whatever it is, that is 1000% whatever it is. You don't have to tell non parental people that they can't stay with you because they didn't ask you. You don't have to take on this responsibility. Your husband is grown. He's not too fucking polite. He. It sounds more like he is, yeah, probably a bit avoidant and maybe a bit of a people pleaser and maybe doesn't have great. Maybe doesn't have great boundaries. He's worried of hurting somebody's feelings or pissing somebody off. But it's okay for you to be that person to hurt somebody's feelings or piss somebody off. It's not your family asking, you niggas do this. It's not your family.

Kid Fury (64:18)

You n s do this. Me too, you niggas. Just because nobody raised you motherfuckers to have a conversation. Because if a nigga was in your life, the only example that he set for you in terms of conversation was talking about sports over beer or slamming dominoes and cards down on the table. You n don't know how to converse, confront, or do a fuck thing. So you put all the conversations, especially the difficult ones, on the femmes in your life, usually the ones closest to you. The immediate one, your mama, your wife, whoever's there. And so there is a good chance that, you know, he doesn't mind and it's a no. Because you don't like this stank cousin. It is also incredibly possible that your husband also recognizes that his cousin is stank and hates that bitch too.

Crystal (65:07)

Right?

Kid Fury (65:08)

But is a people pleaser and too polite and is not gonna say no to her. As Crystal said, he has to put on his big boy.

Crystal (65:17)

Yep. And come on with the pull ups.

Kid Fury (65:19)

Pull him up real nice, tight.

Crystal (65:21)

Fasten him up.

Kid Fury (65:21)

And he's gonna have to address his family.

Crystal (65:23)

Yes.

Kid Fury (65:23)

He can't put that shit on you, right, because, like, they did not call you and then you knew better. Stop doing that dumb ass backwards ass shit, bitch. Girl, you better hop your ass on cheap tickets. I don't know what the fuck this incidence is. Furthermore, you won't be placing it on me because this is a unit. We're a partnership. We're a duo.

Crystal (65:44)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (65:44)

Okay. And this ain't the fucking Weston. This ain't the Four Seasons, the three or the five. That bitch can't come the end.

Crystal (65:52)

And he can straight up say, you're gonna tell her. Yeah, you are going to tell her. He can say that. He could say, you've been a bitch to my wife for two decades. You cannot come in our home.

Kid Fury (66:05)

I will not be your tragedy anymore.

Crystal (66:08)

Oh, yeah. I don't know what you're doing so far from the mic. I don't know. I have no idea what you're doing. But you said, okay.

Kid Fury (66:21)

Loves me, but I won't let him.

Crystal (66:24)

It doesn't sound like you need help with how to tell that. Okay. It doesn't seem like you need help with how to tell people that your house is not for them and to not ask if they can stay. Cause it's not your family or friends asking. It seems like they know not to ask you because the answer is no. It's his family. And he's gonna have to be an adult and talk to his family.

Kid Fury (66:50)

Sounds like this one cousin Trish. Like, whatever. She sounds like a Trish. And yeah, I completely agree that he's just tested. I mean, girl, what does she buy? Does she have fangs?

Crystal (67:08)

Right?

Kid Fury (67:08)

Poisonous fangs.

Crystal (67:10)

I mean, you keep telling people no, I think eventually they catch the hint and they stop asking. I think that's how that works. But, yeah, baby, you know what Mary.

Kid Fury (67:20)

Did after all those no's? She had Jesus.

Crystal (67:23)

All right, Out. All right. In the straw. Okay? She had Jesus. She made it work with the donkey doo and the straw. Okay? Yes. I would kick this right back to my husband and be like, you can handle it however you want to. Actually. Don't care if you put the blame on me because I hate your cousin any fucking way, T. But you like, he's going to handle this. Yeah. Good luck to you, Mrs. Heated. Let us know how it goes. That wraps up our questions this week. Again, if you have one for us send it to asktheread gmail.com we'll be right back. Hey guys, over at Metro they've got your back. They've lowered their prices and they're giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. Now listen, I know like y' all know like my mama, cousins and everybody else knows that the prices lately they have been through the roof. I thought we were all worried about grocery prices a few months ago. Girl, everything has gotten worse as far as I'm concerned. At the gas pump, grocery store, the rent's going up, the the bus tickets, clothes, everything is going up. It would be nice if prices went down for a change. Metro said I got you. That ain't no problem. One line 20% lower. Family plans also lowered and you get a free 5G phone all with no ID required and no activation fees. So stop by your neighborhood Metro store, Visit metro by t-mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. That's right, bring your number not available if currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guarantee covers monthly price of on network, Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan exclusion Supply details@metrobyt-mobile.com Hey guys, the summer time is here.

Kid Fury (69:19)

Thankfully pride is almost over so I will be going outside again. Can't wait for the beach. Can't wait to get, you know, the sun and light and vitamin D all up and through my melanin and I'd rather be outside than inside cooking food for myself because the time and the energy it takes. My word. Cheryl, Cutting oven factor.

Crystal (69:46)

I'm not doing it. I'm not cutting that oven on. I'm not doing it.

Kid Fury (69:50)

I won't.

Crystal (69:51)

No.

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Crystal (71:25)

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Kid Fury (71:33)

That ought to be respected. 90s prices on box Mac and cheese.

Crystal (71:36)

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Kid Fury (71:56)

We're back. It's time for the read.

Crystal (71:59)

It is.

Kid Fury (71:59)

I'm gonna take things first. I just really wanted to say very quickly to the folks over at Paramount who canceled Stephen Colbert's late.

Crystal (72:17)

Yes. Oh my God, I completely forgot about that.

Kid Fury (72:22)

If you haven't heard, the girls over at Paramount have been in close contact with Trump and his administration who filed lawsuit. I believe they settled because everybody has been settling lawsuits with this man. And wouldn't you know it, I also canceled their most successful show with a very big, incredibly popular, successful money making mouthpiece that holds nothing back when it comes to talking about that shits in the White House. Now I suppose as reports saying that this is being looked at as. What is it? Sort of as like an exchange.

Crystal (73:16)

Okay, okay, okay.

Kid Fury (73:17)

Like a political bargaining chip for some merger that they're.

Crystal (73:21)

That Trump won't block their merger. Yep.

Kid Fury (73:24)

Right. Um, and I just have to say, like, outside of this being, I. I have to say fully legal, um, it's just, oh, so incredibly bitch made. It's so cowardly.

Crystal (73:45)

It is.

Kid Fury (73:46)

It's so gross. And it is just. It's not even scary. It's just disheartening to look at this industry and go, well, I guess we can't have a good time. I guess we can't beach free. I guess we can't. Like, yeah, yeah, what are we even fucking doing? And you're talking about some like, I can't remember what the quote was, but they tried to make some allegations of it being a financial thing or financial reasoning how.

Crystal (74:25)

Mm.

Kid Fury (74:27)

How?

Crystal (74:28)

Yeah.

Kid Fury (74:34)

How? I don't believe that about Criminal Minds. So, like, y' all hoes are lying. You're lying.

Crystal (74:42)

Yeah, y' all are. Oh, my God.

Kid Fury (74:45)

For that.

Crystal (74:46)

Mm.

Kid Fury (74:47)

But it ain't even like much. Like, a lot of his connections and wins so far just been in exchange for things. Grubby little hands. Just. Mm. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Mm. No taxes.

Crystal (75:04)

You know it.

Kid Fury (75:04)

Gimme money. Give me cash.

Crystal (75:06)

Absolutely.

Kid Fury (75:07)

A boat. Children, probably. Fuck y'. All. And your app is the choppest of all of the. It is the. Of all of the ones, the DSPs, whatever you want to call them. Paramount plus chop. Paramount didn't even watch that shit.

Crystal (75:25)

Oh, man. And now y' all done gave Stephen Tyrone Colbert a whole year to light up and say whatever the fuck he want to. Ain't nothing to lose. I don't know that that was h. I can't say I really. I can't say I really see it, but.

Kid Fury (75:47)

Okay, girlies, see what happens. I just wanted to say them for that.

Crystal (75:52)

Well, I also have a couple of yous to hand out. First of all, Shannon Sharp. Girl, I know you didn't.

Kid Fury (76:00)

My girl. My good girlfriend.

Crystal (76:04)

So Shannon Sharpe and Ochocinko were on their YouTube show. The WNBA came up because during All Star, the players came out, you know, during warmups or whatever, in shirts that say, pay us what you owe us. And this is in reference to the negotiations that the Players association is currently doing with the league in regards to their new contract. They're looking for a bigger portion of the revenue sharing because I think right now they get, like, maybe 9% of what's brought in. And the other major leagues in this country get somewhere between 48 and 51% of revenue sharing between players and. And the owners of these teams, the leagues. So the WNBA girlies are, like, rightfully so. Gone and gone. And drop a few more ducats in these pockets. This whole argument of the WNBA never turned a profit. Somebody's profiting. Somebody is making money. But also, I don't give a fuck. You don't have a product without me. So go on and raise that 9% up to something decent, or you won't have you at wnba. You know why? Because we got options. We got options. We got unrivaled. We got au, Europe and China and Russia not going. No. Although I don't think nobody's going back to Russia but Europe and China not going no fucking where. We can go play somewhere else. It ain't no league without the players. So there's A lot of debate right now about this whole situation. I'm mostly staying out of it because, you know, casual fan. But Shannon Sharpo's slack jawed, gummy eyed, dumbass, selfish man. Ocho Cinco is like, yeah, you know, pay the girls. Every time I go to the game, the bitch is sold out. Like, that old narrative of don't nobody watch is over. Like, give the girls their money. Shannon Sharpe gonna sit there and be like, oh no. Oh no, Ocho, oh no. Oh, it's a slippery slope. I said, what? Talking about what? Cause say so. So Ochocinco starts talking about how from everything he's read, the WNBA's never turned a profit. So you. I'm losing money, but you want a raise. Something ain't adding up. And Ochocinko's like, well, I mean, I don't give a fuck about none of that shit. Like what? Whether the company is turning a profit or not, you have to pay your employees. Like, I, I don't.

Kid Fury (78:42)

When Chad Johnson is the voice of reason, baby.

Crystal (78:48)

The girls, the girls are going to. Now, granted, the whole league can't go to unrivaled. It's not that big of a league. But the people who do get to go making more the. I think, I think, I think Nafeesa Collier's husband said the player bonus is up to. Or the finals or whatever it is, some sort of bonus is up to $100,000 in this next season from 50,000 in the previous season. These girls are coming in and immediately making more than they would they first five seasons in the wnba. Like, y' all gonna have to do something. You gonna have to do something. However. So then he's like, well, I mean, oh, no, this is slippery slope. You know, I'm not gonna pay you the. I might pay you going forward. I ain't gonna pay. I ain't gonna be no back pay for the last 30 years.

Kid Fury (79:35)

Is he on a team?

Crystal (79:36)

First of all, this is not even your argument. You're not paying anything. Like, not to these bitches. And that brings me to my actual point. Somebody who just, and I mean just within the past 72 hours, just settled a lawsuit against the onlyfans actress for whatever weirdo freaky deaky shit you did with that girl. Whatever the fuck happened, whatever the fuck it was, you just settled a $50 million lawsuit that came your way. Cause you don't know what to do with your dick and you don't know how to fucking act. I don't think anybody needs to be taking financial Advice from Shannon fucking Sharp. You just frankly don't have the space to. To talk. Who actually told you you could open your mouth and say a goddamn thing about it?

Kid Fury (80:32)

I agree.

Crystal (80:33)

So let. Let's talk about slippery slopes. Let's talk about them. Let's. Let's talk about them. Let's talk about lubrication on. On titties. Let's talk about how slippery these slopes can get. You ignorant ass, dumb ass, metal chewing ass bitch. Mind your goddamn business. And remember when I said just last week when I was talking about Angel Reese and I said, oh, but Shaq said this. But you can't listen to Shaq for too long. Cause if he keep talking, he gonna say something stupid. No, bitch, just now. I mean, literally, like yesterday, we only.

Kid Fury (81:12)

Had just one week.

Crystal (81:15)

Because of course, the Megan thee stallion and Clay. This. This news is distressing all kinds of big grown men who shouldn't be worried about it. Adam Lefkoe asked Shaq about Megan and Clay, and he said six weeks. Meaning, like, he gives the relationship six. So Lefko is like, oh, you think it's like a summer thing? You don't think it's gonna last? And again he goes six weeks. So everybody's like, what is this weirdo hating ass energy? Immediately here come the screenshots of all the times Megan goes live on Instagram and Shaq is publicly in the comments, thirsting after Megan Thee stallion. Sir, you're like 58 years old. Are you giving it six weeks because you want Megan for yourself? Are you giving it six weeks because you are jealous of Claytonville? Like, what? What really is it? And I don't like, what did I just tell you about that nigga and his weirdo fucking energy? You literally can't listen to Shaq for too long. You gotta hit him at just the right moment. He gonna say something so smart and so prescient. And then 30 seconds later, you gonna be like, why do we let this nigga out the house? Let these young.

Kid Fury (82:26)

I thought I would have gone like, maybe a month.

Crystal (82:29)

No. Oh, no, you couldn't. He actually. He actually pissed me off at the end of that statement he made last week. So I said, I know. Oh, shit. Cause immediately he was like, oh, you know, that's female business. You know, I lead her to the females. Like, okay, as soon as you start calling women females, I'm tuned out, bitch. This read wasn't even really about Shaq. But that was just. That just was. Yeah, you just reminded me of dumbass, dumbass athletes like, you shut the fuck up and mind your geriatric ass business. You would know a lot about not being able to keep a woman. Why don't we just let Clay sit over here and do what the fuck he gonna do and see can he maybe manage to figure out how to treat a woman better than you can? Cause you the same one a couple years ago was on TV crying, talking about how your wife left you and now you in this $90 million house and it's empty.

Kid Fury (83:20)

Megan got the boo boots on her Boo boots. $500 a piece that just really took.

Crystal (83:27)

I could not believe Shannon Sharpe found the audience audacity to talk about financial decisions.

Kid Fury (83:38)

I'm gagged. Financial decisions that are like. Like you said, like you're not even in the ballpark.

Crystal (83:44)

You're not. And you are not the one to be telling nobody else how to spend money. You just spent undisclosed millions retiring some girl immediately after the settlement. This girl went on Instagram and said, you guys, I have retired from. It's been a blast showing you my pussy. But those days are over. I'll still be active on social. I got lots of new stuff coming down the pipeline.

Kid Fury (84:12)

Girly pop.

Crystal (84:13)

Love you guys forever. You retired some 20 year old girl because of however many different ways you violated her?

Kid Fury (84:24)

Because of how deviant and disgusting.

Crystal (84:27)

But the WNBA don't make no sense. Okay, all right, all right, bitch. I got something for you.

Kid Fury (84:33)

What's the problem? Something in the water. Like water?

Crystal (84:36)

Is it all n. Have lost it though. They really have. I couldn't believe did it tsa.

Kid Fury (84:41)

When they ask you to swab your hand, do they just.

Crystal (84:45)

Oh, man. I said, no, it ain't no way.

Kid Fury (84:47)

They're like, what the fuck is wrong with these niggas?

Crystal (84:50)

I was literally. Somebody told me about this. I'm googling the story like it's no way. Like you have to be lying. It's no way. Shannon Sharpe really came. I had to go pull up the 15 minute clip on YouTube and watch it for myself because I just said it is no way.

Kid Fury (85:06)

Because the thing about it that's. That's confusing for me is just in general, what is the issue to your point about it, about the fairness of it. It's not like you're talking about percentage of earnings based upon a thing that only takes place when these women play the game.

Crystal (85:30)

So the entire. None of the league. None of the league can exist or do anything without the players. Now I understand this is not.

Kid Fury (85:42)

It's not about how much they have. It's about how much they're not gonna give them.

Crystal (85:48)

Figure.

Kid Fury (85:48)

It's like, why are you arguing about figure it out?

Crystal (85:52)

Figure it out. Cause what you gonna do when the girls can go somewhere else and make more and more? Like, what you gonna do when they simply don't wanna come back to the W? The CBA expires at the end of October. That's this season. Do you want a wnba? We got all this growth, new teams, expansion, and we talking about expanding the rosters. And All Stars.

Kid Fury (86:14)

Now's the time, stud buds done put.

Crystal (86:16)

All Star on the map. This is the time you have to go check out studio.

Kid Fury (86:22)

Oh, you know I'm going to. You know that.

Crystal (86:24)

I know. You are going to shit yourself. It is so good. It is so good. Those girls are hilarious. But yeah, yeah, Shannon Sharpe, that's what I'm saying. There's lots of debate. I'm staying out of the debate. But Shannon Sharpe, you the last bitch, and I mean the very last bitch to open your mouth and talk about financial decisions. Cause there's a 20 year old girl somewhere whose life is completely. She on a PJ to the Philippines right fucking now. Courtesy of your big stupid ass. And that's it for me. That'll wrap up this week's episode of the Read. Check us out on social media at this is the read. Our website, thisisthearad.com. any other news or announcements from you this week, Kipuri?

Kid Fury (87:12)

I just wanna say, knock a dumb nigga down to pigs. Oh, yeah, just remind a stupid nigga that he is in fact stupid. Shannon Sharpe put successful niggas to the front of the. This includes celebrity niggas. This includes the nigga in your family got money because he into crypto streams, you know, does day trading or whatever the fuck. Bullshit.

Crystal (87:37)

Please not crypto.

Kid Fury (87:38)

Cuss they ass out and remind their dumbasses that they can't spell. And they ain't no better than to fuck nobody. Because sometimes they need that reality check in order for them to just be happy. And I'm just talking about being like a normal human being, right? So do me that favor. I do it every day. But if you could help me out, that'd be great.

Crystal (87:57)

All right, y' all take care of yourselves. We will see you next week.

Kid Fury (88:03)

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