Aqua Illusion: The Pink Masquerade

Summary

The Read – Episode: "Aqua Illusion: The Pink Masquerade"

Released: May 14, 2026 | Hosts: Kid Fury & Crissle

Overview

In this week’s episode, Kid Fury and Crissle bring their signature wit and incisive commentary to a slew of pop culture topics: from Black Excellence in Madison, Wisconsin, to luxury watch drama, messy celebrity news, viral rap hits, and some spectacular listener letters dissecting love, friendship, and financial responsibility. The hosts also dig into city politics (Spencer Pratt for Mayor?), the ethics of fake degrees in the mental health space, and close out with their takes on sports and life updates. The overall tone is sharp, irreverent, and laugh-out-loud funny, as always.

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

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1. Life Catch-Up & Black Excellence

[02:00–04:55]

• Friendly banter: Kid Fury and Crissle swap updates about their pets (Lainey for Kid Fury, Link for Crissle), motherhood exhaustion, and school drop-off routines.
• Black Excellence Spotlight:
  • Crissle highlights the newly built Center for Black Excellence & Culture in Madison, Wisconsin.
    • Founded by Rev. Alex G., it’s a 37,000-square-foot space with art galleries, banquet facilities, a children’s library, a wellness space for mothers, and more.
    • Crissle: “It’s for Black people to do Black things and be inspired...imagine if we had a big-ass Black space as children who loved reading.” [04:09]
    • Kid Fury: “Wow. I would have never left.” [04:22]

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2. Audemars Piguet x Swatch Watch Drama

[04:57–14:18]

• Topic: High-end watchmaker Audemars Piguet announcing a collaboration with Swatch, leading to outrage among the luxury crowd.
• Hosts drag luxury “gatekeepers”:
  • Crissle details the backlash from rappers like DDG and OT Genasis, who claim the collab cheapens the brand.
  • Kid Fury: “You and your brand new money...brand has been tarnished? I simply cannot wear this $500,000 watch anymore. Girl, calm your titties.” [06:31]
  • Both hosts lampoon the notion that accessibility dilutes worth: “Rich were bitching and talking about they weren’t wearing the new G-Shock…before they even saw it.” [08:22]
  • Discussion on collaborations making luxury brands more available and the insecurity it exposes in certain circles.
  • “Most of these companies would prefer you didn’t wear them. Yes, please, sell it. Get it off of your negro hands.” – Crissle [13:53]

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3. Hip-Hop News: Lil Tjay, Offset, and Cardi B

[14:22–22:22]

• Lil Tjay & Offset Buttock Shooting:
  • Crissle recaps Lil Tjay’s Breakfast Club interview where he casually discusses the shooting incident involving Offset over gambling debts.
  • Kid Fury: “It’s one thing when I say it, it’s another when the nigga who shot you is like, actually, y’all pray for him.” [17:25]
  • Both hosts laugh at the absurdity and casualness of the situation: “It was like, nothing. So casual.” – Crissle [17:59]
• Cardi B & Offset Relationship:
  • They dissect the on-again, off-again rumors and social media unfollow drama, landing on the idea that public breakups are often overblown: “It takes the ladies a long time to leave their most recent baby daddy alone.” – Kid Fury [22:07]

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4. Chris Brown’s Album Flop & Industry Critique

[22:32–39:02 & 30:07–34:04]

• Pitchfork’s Brutal Review:
  • Crissle reads harsh lines from a viral Pitchfork review calling Chris Brown’s album “a real piece of shit.” [23:22]
  • Kid Fury: “They really said, this is shit.” [23:22]
  • Discussion of fans and critics no longer sugarcoating bad releases and highlighting Chris Brown’s habit of lashing out at negative press: “But every time you get this critique, you go live from the backyard, the swing set, the mural, and go, ‘I don’t care.’” – Crissle [32:09]
  • Conversation about fan delusions and misplaced loyalty within stan culture: “Chris Brown is Chris Brown’s biggest problem and always fucking has been.” – Kid Fury [25:39]
  • The hosts joke about white pop girls they’d rather listen to over Chris Brown—“Throw Dua Lipa in there too.” [34:11]

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5. Nicki Minaj, Viral Rap, & Intergenerational Beef

[39:08–50:33]

• Young rapper Trim’s viral hit “Coca Water” and Nicki Minaj comparisons:
  • The hosts dissect the rise of the Nicki-coded new gen rap girl and Nicki’s reported response of blocking fan pages supporting Trim.
  • “Nicki don’t like any woman with a birthday in their hands.” – Crissle [44:03]
  • They joke about younger artists emulating Nicki while publicly downplaying the connection, and Nicki’s history of turning on newcomers: “She’s just jealous ‘cause you made the cheer team and she didn’t.” – Kid Fury [86:40]
  • Broader side-eye over social media beef and celebrity insecurity.

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6. Listener Letters: Relationships, Friendship & Mess

[55:40–86:40]

a. Financially Draining Husband [55:41–75:04]

• Chloe’s Dilemma: CEO-type Black mom of three in Atlanta, out-earns and out-works her husband, who does “performance chores,” and relies on her financially.
  • Crissle: “Your marriage is a scam.” [60:21]
  • Both hosts urge her to consider divorce, roast “allowancing” a grown man, and highlight the double standard if gender roles were reversed.
  • “You have to tell your filthy ass husband, ‘Do you have McDonald’s money?’” – Crissle [66:27]
  • Pep talk: Leaving the man may be less expensive—and more peaceful—than funding his lifestyle.

b. Moesha’s Betrayal on a Girls Trip [75:12–86:40]

• Kim’s Letter:
  • Moesha, newly divorced, ditches friends during a girls trip to chase after a man, leaving Kim to fend off harassment and physical altercations.
  • Hosts tie the incident to TV Moesha’s character flaws (“she was always sometimey”) and agree Kim should downgrade or end the friendship.
  • “When shit go down…Moesha is more worried about dick than her friend.” – Kid Fury [80:22]

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7. Closing Rants: City Politics, Life & Scams

[90:29–121:21]

• Spencer Pratt for Mayor?!

  • Crissle rails against the news that Spencer Pratt (of The Hills) is running for LA mayor.
  • “Here is the supervillain from MTV’s The Hills, he would like to be the mayor of your city?” [91:39]
  • “If Spencer and Heidi took a mayoral seat, I am leaving. I am tugging all my Kendrick Lamar memorabilia and getting on the first flight smoking.” [94:28]
  • Kid Fury discusses the importance of voting locally (NY/LA) to keep “reality TV foolishness” out of office.

• Fake Doctor Decree (Cheyenne Bryant, Mental Health Influencer) [106:13–121:21]

  • Kid Fury rails against “Dr.” Cheyenne Bryant for allegedly lying about having a doctorate, recounting her Breakfast Club avoidance and word salad explanations.
  • “Anyone with a PhD can say exactly when they finished and what their dissertation was. You did everything but that, because you don’t have a PhD.” [109:11]
  • Kid Fury addresses trolls linking her own (very real) graduate journey to the fake doc drama:
    • “School whipped my ass...Why would you make that up?” – Crissle [112:01]
    • “I’m not selling y’all nothing, I’m not offering 400 sessions…I’m not even using this degree in a professional way.” [112:08]
  • Takeaway: Don’t play with academic credentials; the work is real.

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8. Notable Quotes

• On luxury brand insecurity: “You niggas really get some of your self-worth from these labels and these designers. And that’s why you feel a way about them partnering with something more accessible.” – Kid Fury [07:37]
• On fan entitlement: “Most of these companies would prefer you didn’t wear them. Yes, please, sell it. Get it off of your negro hands.” – Crissle [13:53]
• On relationship realism: “It takes the ladies a long time to leave their most recent baby daddy alone.” – Kid Fury [22:07]
• On stannery and mediocrity: “Chris Brown is Chris Brown’s biggest problem and always fucking has been.” – Kid Fury [25:39]
• On fake degrees: “Anyone with a PhD knows how to say ‘doctoral.’” – Kid Fury [109:11]
• On city politics: “Y’all are trying to put someone from the fucking Challenge in the mayor’s office… I would not do that.” – Crissle [101:30]

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Final Takeaways

• This episode is packed with laughs, thoughtful critique, and classic shade—the hosts take aim at class anxiety, celebrity delusions, and cultural foolishness with zero hesitation.
• Listeners learn about the nuances of Black community spaces, the dangers of tying self-worth to brands, the necessity of voting in local elections, and why fake doctorates are not to be played with in mental health.

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To find specific segments:

• Black Excellence: [02:55]
• AP x Swatch drama: [04:57]
• Lil Tjay/Offset: [14:22]
• Chris Brown drag: [22:32, 30:07]
• Nicki/Trim/Coca Water: [39:08, 44:03]
• Chloe’s marriage letter: [55:41]
• Kim & Moesha’s friend drama: [75:12]
• LA politics rant: [90:29]
• Fake doctorate takedown: [106:13]

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A must-listen for culture fans and anyone needing a sharp, honest, and hilarious take on the week’s mess.

Transcript

[Kid Fury]

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[Crissle West]

What's a booster?

[Kid Fury]

Somebody that steal clothes from a store

[Crissle West]

and sell at a discount price.

[Kid Fury]

It's like community service.

[Crissle West]

I love Boosters is the must see movie of the summer. Starring Keke Palmer and Demi Moore in a crazy heist comedy set in the cutthroat fashion world.

[Kid Fury]

Velvet Gang. They're boosting from my stores.

[Crissle West]

Critics are hailing I love Boosters as wildly hilarious and outrageous, provocative and really fun.

[Kid Fury]

Come on, let's take all of it.

[Crissle West]

I love Boosters. Rated r. In theaters May 22nd. Get tickets now.

[Kid Fury]

Coming to you on May 22nd on Paramount plus is the acclaimed series from executive producer Lena Waithe and the final chapter of the Shy. For seven seasons, these stories, these streets, this community have stayed with us. And now it all leads to this. Okay, the friendships will be tested, the families will evolve and secrets will refuse to stay buried. But one thing is certain. The shy is more than just a series. It's a legacy. So don't miss the final season. May 22nd on the Paramount plus premium plan.

[Crissle West]

Welcome back. Slurs how indeed are you doing? I am Black Barbie.

[Kid Fury]

And I am Paris Epps. And this is the read. Thank you for joining us.

[Crissle West]

Thank you for joining us. Indeed. How's Lainey?

[Kid Fury]

You know, she's taking a nap right now and I'm hoping she just continues to chill the out. I need her to to be relaxed today, but she's fine.

[Crissle West]

Yeah, you know, life of a mother. I get it.

[Kid Fury]

Where is Link? At school.

[Crissle West]

Damn right. And thankfully she slept like she was doing construction work yesterday or something.

[Kid Fury]

So nice.

[Crissle West]

By the time I got her up to get ready for school, she was, you know, half awake. And that was perfect for transporting her to the people's vehicle. Amen. Oh, motherhood.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Okay, let's jump into our black excellence for this week. And it is going out to the newly built center for black excellence in culture in Madison, Wisconsin. In Wisconsin. So this is a 37,000 square foot building founded by Reverend Alex G. And It's a big, gorgeous space that is meant to obviously highlight black excellence and culture, but it's also an event space. It's also a place, he says, where people can come and get involved in different programs or the community can bring programs to the space. It's for black people to do black things and be inspired and walk in and go, hmm, this is very interesting. Or, hmm, this is very enlightening. I wonder if we could do this. We could do this here. So as the building has a wellness space for mothers, it has an art gallery, as a 300 seat theater, as a banquet event space, a recording studio, a senior lounge, a bar, a workspace hub, an outdoor gathering space. It's got a children's library for to focus on literacy for the children who love the reading.

[Kid Fury]

Amen.

[Crissle West]

It's got pretty much everything. I'm like, girl, imagine if we had a black, big ass black space as children who loved reading.

[Kid Fury]

Can't. I can't.

[Crissle West]

Here's a black kids library.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, wow. Wow. I would have never left.

[Crissle West]

It's just. Yeah. So shout out to Wisconsin and the amazing work that y' all are doing over there. If you're out somewhere in Madison sometime, go check out the center for Black Excellence Culture. Let us know how you feel about it, what it's giving, what you learn, what you see. All right, now let's move into the bullshit of the world because I think all of it is bullshit this week.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crissle West]

I'll start with this because I think it's hilarious. So Audemars, forget the watch company. Ap oh recently teased a collaboration with Swatch, another watch company. You know Swatch, you'll see down to the mall. Yeah, in the airport. Very accessible.

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crissle West]

When I tell you rich niggas were pissed.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, because their. Their high dollar exclusive brand is doing something for the brokies.

[Crissle West]

DDG was whining on stream about how,

[Kid Fury]

oh my God, girl, who cares?

[Crissle West]

I'm selling my AP and this, that, and the third ot Genesis also.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crissle West]

Posted on his Instagram, when the AP drop, I'm getting one for my son, dope timepiece. But I choose not to walk around with this new G Shock. Great business move for Audemars, though. But I'm done. Niggas that wear Jordans don't wear Team Jordan.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, my God.

[Crissle West]

This is delightful for so many reasons. I don't even know where to start. Okay, first, I. I guess I'll say they, they did. I think yesterday they revealed what these watches look like.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crissle West]

They're cute little Colorful pocket watches. They don't even. They're have, they have nothing to do with you.

[Kid Fury]

Right, right. They just, they, I, I just googled them. They're. You know, remember when Apple first came out with all them different colored computers? That's kind of what they immediately remind me of. But they also don't look anything like the regular Audemars Piguet, so I don't also, you n. And your brand new money. And I mean brand new. You just got that money five minutes ago and you already acting like you just like the. The brand has been tarnished. I simply cannot wear this $500,000 watch anymore. Girl, calm your titties and Audemars like, okay, okay, don't wear it then. Right. You're not hurting my feelings by not. Okay, so don't do it then. I think there, I mean, I think this is cute. I'm still not spending 300, $500.

[Crissle West]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

I'm not spending. This is still going to be expensive for a watch as far as I'm concerned.

[Crissle West]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

So. But I don't, I don't need to have the label either. And it's like you niggas, you really get some of your self worth from these labels and these designers that you wear. And that's why you feel in a way about them partnering with something more accessible. But I had no idea rich niggas was complaining about it. I thought people were just excited because they would be able to. I mean, they're cute.

[Crissle West]

Yeah. More people were excited until they realized that these are just little pocket, pocket watches and they can't, you know, flex, I guess on their wrists with them too. All these comments on the Instagram reveal page were like, I know niggas are folding up them chairs outside of Swatch right now. You niggas was outside for four days. Thought he was gonna flex this summer. I think this is hilarious.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

One, yeah. Rich were bitching and talking about they weren't wearing the new G Shock and he was gonna sell their AP and also the stuff before they even saw what the. The watch looked like comes out. Turns out the watch came out looking like twas brillig and the slyly toes did guy and gimbal in the wave like kalu Kalei jabberwocky ass. They looks like white rabbit Alice in Wonderland watches. Yeah, that's fun.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. It's on a little chain

[Crissle West]

to this sentiment of like, oh, because did you just like, you know, dumb niggas or broke niggas, you know, they can't tell the difference. So these niggas who gonna get this $300, $500 watch, you know, gonna be able to, like, I guess, flex like them and comparing it to Ferrari teaming up with a Honda. And so niggas, oh, God, I have so many levels. So one, get nice things. If you can afford nice things, you want nice things. Whatever. As someone who likes Balmain.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

When they did a collaboration with H and M, I wasn't like, well, I guess that's for the streets, bitch.

[Kid Fury]

Right?

[Crissle West]

Let me just sell my favorite denim Balmain jacket, because broke niggas won't know the difference between this and that $20 shit. Who cares? Like, I like my jacket. You probably don't like your jacket or whatever the fuck you got. Yay. We're.

[Kid Fury]

And those collaborations be cute too.

[Crissle West]

Like, right?

[Kid Fury]

The designers be doing cute stuff with H and M and Gap and all that. So. Yeah, girl.

[Crissle West]

Why are you mad that someone else gets to have something that they like?

[Kid Fury]

Because it makes you feel like you're less. Whatever. Less important.

[Crissle West]

That's stupid.

[Kid Fury]

It is. Because how you tie in your worth to these BR brands. Who. The people who had these brands don't give one about you. They actually can't believe your black ass is buying it. Meanwhile, I'm wild. I thought G socks were shoes.

[Crissle West]

Hilarious. I think it's also funny that, you know, you want to capitalize off of these very same people. You want them to give you all your damn. All of their. Their damn money so you can right, buy this $50,000.

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crissle West]

But you're upset that they used some of their money to go and get the 500 watch, right? It just. It doesn't hit the streets for me. You sound like baby. Yeah, and then you sound super like a baby when it's like, with Swatch and Audemars, like, girl, we wouldn't even think about you. We're bringing the pocket watch back. Shut your ass up. You don't bust down that watch anyway. They ain't got nothing to do with this. We don't even want it.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, like, this is. Okay, Are really childish. I. All right, y'. All. Can I. But that's such a good point about, like, you niggas wouldn't be rich without fans. Like, y' all don't come from generations of money. You. You know, this isn't oil money. You're not some businessman. If didn't tune into your streams, go to your shows or whatever, you also would not be able to afford. No. So why would you then want.

[Crissle West]

And.

[Kid Fury]

All right.

[Crissle West]

Y' all go, they want an AP because y' all keep rapping about APs and about what kinds you have.

[Kid Fury]

Yep.

[Crissle West]

So God forbid they want one too, after they funneled all their goddamn money into your fucking pockets. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah, niggas that wear Jordans don't wear Team Jordans, Pooh.

[Kid Fury]

Like, what is a Team Jordan? I don't even know what that is, baby. As long as they got the little. The man with the basketball, the Air Jordan, as long as it got that little logo, ain't it? Do not know the difference. And I. I literally do not care. Like, if not for Beyonce, I would have never even heard of this brand upgrade. You was my very first time hearing of this, Brandon, so I had to Google, I said, what the is she talking about?

[Crissle West]

She actually said a lot of things in that portion of the record that I had nothing idea what they were, and I didn't even look them up. I just accepted that this was for wealthy people and I wasn't immense.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah.

[Crissle West]

Not upgrading me, right? But, yeah, I think this whole thing was incredibly funny. Also, if you want to be that type of cunt, like, if you want to be housewives cunt, yeah. Just be outside and be like, here she go with that fucking Swatch ap. Like, she really do something. Or here she go with them fake ass, them teen Jordans. You just do that. Go outside and clock it. No pun intended, right? You're like, unlike this poor measles stricken leper.

[Kid Fury]

Right?

[Crissle West]

I feel like I have the true AP girl.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. The real money is not even part of these conversations. They are letting y' all just. They are letting y' all just have these stupid little fights online. And if you showed up next to real money and whatever you think your nice watch is, they'd probably be like, oh, yeah, let my toddler play with that. Gave my baby one when he turned five. That's so cute.

[Crissle West]

So, like, what did you do to it?

[Kid Fury]

Niggas just need to feel superior by any means. And y' all gotta work on that within yourselves.

[Crissle West]

Most of these companies would prefer you didn't wear them. Yes, please sell it. What do you think? Just get it off of your negro hands. I thought this was hilarious. Wow. Insecurity. Just like, yep.

[Kid Fury]

Who cares, bitch?

[Crissle West]

So this person got an ipod shuffle and you have a. A fat back imac. Well, hello, everyone who.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, I just can't be that bothered about somebody else's pockets, man.

[Crissle West]

Do whatever you want to the young man. Lil Tj. That was involved in the buttock shooting of Offset a few weeks back.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yes.

[Crissle West]

Recently had an interview on the Breakfast Club. Did you see clips from the interview on the Breakfast Club?

[Kid Fury]

I did not. I'm shocked he's not in jail.

[Crissle West]

No, he's not. And I think this is the most I've heard him speak outside of. When he was walking outside of. Outside of jail with half his T shirt on.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crissle West]

But he briefly discussed how this whole thing happened. He's at the casino, he says, with Offset. Offset in there, crashing out, calling his aunties, allegedly calling aunties, asking for money, calling people around. And he says Lil TJ alleges that nobody was giving him any money. He said he was asking people around the place. Motherfuckers who look like they work nine to five jobs, saying things about cash apping back or whatnot. He says. TJ says he gave him $10,000. Like 5,000 at a point, another 5,000 at a point. And he thought it was nothing to, like, run away from. Basically, like steal off with 10,000 that he'd get it back. Oh, he was then told. He says he was told by several people around him and in the industry, you done fucked up. And this was a terrible, terrible decision. Says he tried to. He continued to think nothing of it until he saw Offset in a strip club one day, making it rain inside the club for everybody. And then all little TJ niggas looking at him like, ain't that your money? So.

[Kid Fury]

So we had to shoot him in the ass.

[Crissle West]

I think that's where things got dicey and led to a confrontation. And, yeah, bullet in the booty. I thought this interview was very funny because he sounds like he's freshly drinking age.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crissle West]

And he's got his little New York accent, and he's just laughing this off like he beat someone in horse.

[Kid Fury]

It's just like, yeah, you shoot niggas in the ass sometimes.

[Crissle West]

He's like, oh, off. Second come, give me a hug. You know, honestly, I get. He said he feels bad for him.

[Kid Fury]

Damn.

[Crissle West]

Like, looking. Looking at it for what it is and having, like, a gambling problem.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, no, he just watched it.

[Crissle West]

As. As I recognize he has an addiction to gambling, I feel bad for him. The industry recognized he has an issue. Like, he basically put him on here. Like, if anything, I feel bad for the nigga. Cause he really does have an issue. And I. He said, I don't even know how I got myself in that algorithm. Cause everybody was trying to tell him, like, this nigga blows his money gambling he doesn't have any. And he's got everybody financially fucked up.

[Kid Fury]

Right? Damn. I mean, it's one thing when I say it. It's another thing when the nigga who shot you is like, actually, y' all pray for him. You know, he not doing good.

[Crissle West]

Yikes. Yikes.

[Kid Fury]

The way he was like, that nigga was in the casino, desperate child calling everybody, just praying somebody would pick up the phone. Nobody would answer, like, go.

[Crissle West]

He was literally speaking about it. Like, any one of these niggas who live in the city.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Just talking about how long it took to get a bacon, egg and cheese.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crissle West]

It was like, nothing. So casual.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

But also, I could tell that he was like, a, I'll be fine with this case, B. $10,000. I'll be fine with that, too. See, this nigga got way worse than me.

[Kid Fury]

Right? I don't know why in my mind, this feels fair. Like, you borrowed 10k from me and now you. I'm seeing you in the strip club throwing it, throwing my money that you owe me as some hoes I've. It's somewhere in my mind you do deserve to shoot that nigga in the ass for that. You know, not fatally, but a little BB gun in the ass, it feels great.

[Crissle West]

It does.

[Kid Fury]

I don't know why.

[Crissle West]

Yeah. People will definitely play with your money and then act like it's all your fault.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

And sometimes those people should be shot.

[Kid Fury]

And you know, black people don't play that. We just really don't. We are very serious about our mamas and our money, and you just don't get to do it.

[Crissle West]

We try to. We try very hard.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Sometimes people should be shot.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, well, okay.

[Crissle West]

But we try very hard regardless. God spares, doesn't he? Yes, he does. Speaking of offset, Cardi B might be back with this other one.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, Cardi B maybe never even broke up with that other one. Well, she never said she broke up with that nigga. She just unfollowed him. And y' all said, that's it, it's over.

[Crissle West]

That's right. I think the super bowl was like, oh, okay. But I guess they were just in an argument. Well, doghouse.

[Kid Fury]

And he brought another girl, I think another baby mama to the super bowl.

[Crissle West]

And he bring like three.

[Kid Fury]

So maybe that pissed her off. I don't know.

[Crissle West]

I feel like all the other kids parents were there somewhere. One was right on the field. I guess the ones he don't like too much was up in the nosebleeder. So I feel like everybody I Would

[Kid Fury]

have unfollowed him because of how far terrible that game was. Yuck. You embarrassing me like this. Oh, no. The Patriots got dog walk.

[Crissle West]

And I don't even feel like it's a bad like, I. I feel like that's completely sound.

[Kid Fury]

That was embarrassing. That was embarrassing. The Patriots got embarrassed that day. So that's why I was like Cardi unfollowing him. He got real now. He beat this case with the chef, all that.

[Crissle West]

Oh, yeah, we talked about that.

[Kid Fury]

We talked about. Yeah, he beat that case. But, you know, he still need a foot. I heard he might be going to Atlanta. The Falcons, which would be a terrible idea. Offset, dude. I mean, I'll see. There you go. There you go. Step. Step off. Said do not need to be in in Atlanta at all.

[Crissle West]

But hey, all of you. I know that you all do this regularly and this is why I just be staying out y business. Steph Offset Brolla. You all are just completely out of and someone should find you. It's too funny. Harriet Studman.

[Kid Fury]

Wait. Oh, I was about to say, why am I triggered? Because of that damn podcast queen. Oh, my God. She took me out with that. I'll never get over it.

[Crissle West]

A source tells people Cardi pulled away from the drama in February. She didn't trust him and felt like things were going on behind her back. She wasn't in a place emotionally to deal with fighting attention. This is why these sources. Horses can honestly kick rocks. She felt like things were going on behind her back. She knew that things were going on in front of her face. Who is this?

[Kid Fury]

Right? And he had that case. I wouldn't be shocked if she was like, yeah, I just don't want to be associated with you until this is over. Because as soon as he cleared that case and the tour was over, bam.

[Crissle West]

That's a good point. Yeah, I'm touring. Newborn girl figured out. Yeah, I'll see you on the other side. If you make it.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, I mean, the girls can't really be shocked. It takes. It takes the ladies a long time to leave their most recent baby daddy alone.

[Crissle West]

That's true.

[Kid Fury]

So it's really not that surprising.

[Crissle West]

That's true. Yikes.

[Kid Fury]

Work. No, don't start your shit.

[Crissle West]

Legend of Laney Tears of the Kingdom. Hi, Brown.

[Kid Fury]

Girl, you want to get on the mic?

[Crissle West]

Oh, you're getting big mama.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Oh, your baby getting so big, mama.

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crissle West]

Speaking of Brown, the albums chopped or so the street set. That wasn't even intentional. I'm just on a roll.

[Kid Fury]

You are.

[Crissle West]

So first of all, I really wasn't paying attention to the performance of this album because I don't care. But someone did link me to the Pitchfork review.

[Kid Fury]

Yes, me too. I said, oh, they not mincing no words.

[Crissle West]

Not one. Not one. And at the end of the review, let me pull up this.

[Kid Fury]

They really said, this is shit.

[Crissle West]

They said, this album is a real piece of shit. Alphonse Pierre, Sir Pierre dragged. But it was also like, if you read the whole thing, it was a very solid scope of what's been going on. What is going on. Intention, lyricism, style, big fails genre, like the whole gamut of it. But I also love that the review ended with him basically saying more of us need to say that this shit sucks because.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah.

[Crissle West]

Tiptoeing around it is allowing this nigga to just create his own simulation and narrative that people who either have been paying attention, don't give a fuck to will run with, or, you know, people who are invested or willing to argue with you in a barbershop will be like, yes. Yeah, here, here. I thought that was kind.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, it was. It was.

[Crissle West]

That was so.

[Kid Fury]

It was a. I know the. The. The title and the subheading got a lot of attention, but it was actually a well written review, in my opinion. I have no idea whether the album's good. Cause God couldn't get me to press

[Crissle West]

play on that, but Jesus Jehovah Christ

[Kid Fury]

alive, Literally, no way. And I saw a video, Chris being like, if you not my fan, I don't want you to listen to the album. I'm like, oh, God.

[Crissle West]

Oh, I'm getting to that. Next.

[Kid Fury]

I wasn't even going to. Baby girl, you don't have to worry about me. But, yeah, that man said, not every musical legend deserves to be a martyr. And I said, we need to pass that out. We need to print that on something and mail it to every stand. Because just because you like this man does not mean that he's some great. And everybody has just been conspiring against him and everybody's rooting against him and wants him to. Girl, Chris Brown is Chris Brown's biggest problem and always fucking has been. And I don't know what's so difficult about that. I don't know why y' all can't seem to grasp it.

[Crissle West]

I'd like to read one or two of my favorite.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, yeah.

[Crissle West]

Little pieces from For Sure. I think he picked up his Jamaican patois on the vibes Cartel assisted fucking party from studying Taye Diggs and How Stella Got Her Groove Back.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

God is so Big. And he is so alive today.

[Kid Fury]

I knew that would appeal to you

[Crissle West]

because I did get accosted with a clip of that.

[Kid Fury]

Of course you do.

[Crissle West]

Because you know that they would send it to me. Yeah, you know that they would send it to me.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

That came from the. The Sebastian Diggs.

[Kid Fury]

All right.

[Crissle West]

You know, Academy of Leave Daveed Diggs alone. I'll never do that. I will never do that. I'm never gonna do that. Never. So Tay Diggs daveed whichever one you want to choose. It was horrible. Inexcusable. Yeah, it was wretched. So that's. Even if I was like, okay, girl, let me just, for argument's sake, go and see what she talking about. That was the one and only clip that I. I got from it.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

You guys harassed me or you tricked me, you know, into just going, okay, I have to see how bad it is. It was worse than I anticipated. Beyonce just screaming out, missing sir was just. That was good enough like that. That she knew. Let me say three simple words. Yeah, three syllables.

[Kid Fury]

I'm not gonna do too much.

[Crissle West]

I'm not doing anything else. That is it. Howdy, folks. This podcast is being brought to you by Squarespace, my favorite spaces. With Squarespace, everything you need to succeed online is in one spot. I still have quite a few friends who hit me up who are like, I'm starting this thing, I have this idea, I need a website or I. I don't know how to build a website. I promise you, every single time I direct them to Squarespace because it's so, so easy to make a good looking website that pretty much can showcase anything that you have to offer. Also, you can claim your domain to build a beautiful website so you don't have to worry about getting your.com or.net or TV. You can promote your work directly from there. You can take payments. It's all there. Whether you're just starting out or you're getting ready to grow. Evolve from a blossom into whatever Blossom evolves into. I don't remember. Easily create a standout site or designer templates with drag and drop editing and flexible design options. No experience needed. It's so easy. I can't stress it enough. They also let you offer services, book clients, get paid all in one place with scheduling invoices and email tools built in. I use Squarespace for my website, QFury.com. if you want to go over there right now, you can see how sexy it is to get a good idea of what they have to offer you here. It's really really easy. It's always easy to update and I like that it can look all pretty and unique while also being incredibly easy to manage. So if you're Interested, go to squarespace.com theread for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code theread1word to save 10 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Go get started. You know you want to let them know that we sent you this episode

[Kid Fury]

of the RE is brought to you by Chime. Chime is changing the way people bank with fee free banking built for you. No overdraft or monthly fees, thousands of fee free ATMs and members can benefit from up to $1,150 in annual rewards. With a Chime card you get 5% cash back in a category of choice like gas or groceries and savings that grow F with a 3.75% APY that's nine times higher than the national average. Chime is not just smarter banking, it is the most rewarding way to bank. So join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.com theread that's chime.com theread it only takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services for Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges, stated annual percentage yield and cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum balance required. For more information on APY rates go to chime.com/disclosures in case you didn't know,

[Crissle West]

Chris Brown special lives in 2015 a convenient time for him because there's a little that's a little before cancel culture hit the streets. He's probably somewhere right now listening to Trap Queen and watching Paul Walker drive into the distance at the end of Furious 7. There's also it's personal which is as you might have guessed, personal. Over hokey acoustic guitars, he raps in a hush tone I just want respect and I'll die for that. Oh my God we know

[Kid Fury]

what Mr.

[Crissle West]

Pierre you went in bro girl bloodied

[Kid Fury]

you better than me because I have a suspicion this entire everything to do with this album is AI and so

[Crissle West]

I oh that's in here too.

[Kid Fury]

Like I don't even know how you pressed play knowing that this was a bunch of manufactured I just y' all

[Crissle West]

find said if I were on the Chris Brown PR payroll I would suggest he just cop to all of Brown being AI because if not he's got bigger problems.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah yeah. Like, if it's not AI, what are you doing?

[Crissle West]

1.3. I think this is the lowest score they've given the 2000 and twenties.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. So far. Of the decade. This is the worst score they've given an album work. Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Chris Brown did definitely respond to this, as you said, because Pitchfork went ahead and tweeted or wherever. Just, this album is a real piece of shit. They went ahead and just. I feel like they probably figured this is the.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, they knew.

[Crissle West]

A perfect summary.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Of how we feel. And Chris Brown did some video in his backyard or side yard or wherever, you know, talking about Team Breezy and, you know, we're kicking they ass and that. I'm doing a tour and more to come. I don't give a what. None of these I'm talking about. Except every time that you get this critique, you go live from the backyard, from the swing set, from the mural, and go, I don't care.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

But here's what I really appreciate. I actually say I appreciated two things. One, he looks relatively healthy. I'm used to him looking like Angelina Jolie's Maleficent here. He looks like there's water.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crissle West]

Might be vegetables.

[Kid Fury]

Love that.

[Crissle West]

And so that's 1. 2. I feel like we finally see each other because he said, I know exactly who my fans is, and I know exactly who hearing this album. If you not my fan, I don't want you to listen to my shit. Go listen to motherfucking Zara Larson or somebody. Chris. It's like, you know me personally. I am not a fan. I won't listen to this shit. And in fact, I have been listening to Zara Larson's Midnight Sung Girl strip since its release on the 1st of May. So I'm just really happy that we're finally on the same page. Girl, when I tell you I couldn't give a fuck, the minute that you tried to play the fuck out of Durant was like, okay, yeah, that's that. Also, Zara Larson, I know she really ticked Jerbean because I think it was a Spotify clip or wherever where they asked her what I remember that artists are blocked from her Spotify. And she was like, I have a few artists blocked. Most of them are abusers. You'll never find Chris Brown on my playlist, period. And I was like, zara, I already. I was already on the standing committee. Like, I might be applying for. For citizens citizenship over there in Sweden, depending on what the racism looks like and whether or not midsummer is, like, some real shit. I know it's not. I'm sorry I said that. So, yeah, I found that to be delightful.

[Kid Fury]

It was because I was like, yeah, we're gonna go listen to her right now.

[Crissle West]

Actually, we're not going to listen to like, don't tempt any of us with a good time. We don't.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah.

[Crissle West]

If you're not a fan, don't listen to it. When was that an argument?

[Kid Fury]

It's so many white pop girls I'll listen to over Chris Brown. Throw Dua Lipa in there too.

[Crissle West]

Listen.

[Kid Fury]

Sure will. Dula. Pete du lapeat. I sure will, baby. You do not have to worry about me. I won't be nowhere near that bullshit. Love her.

[Crissle West]

Sabrina. Candlestick maker.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, all right. Get out of my way.

[Crissle West]

Olivia Rodriguez.

[Kid Fury]

Get out of my face.

[Crissle West]

Madison vodka. Madison beer. I couldn't think of a funny one.

[Kid Fury]

I don't even know who Madison Beer is. See you. You done went too far now.

[Crissle West]

Who are any of the girls? Maybe we get to know her.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, I mean, I'll. I'll try her out before I press play on this Chris Brown album.

[Crissle West]

I guarantee you'll enjoy it more than. Yeah, I only know like two of her songs. She has a cute little voice. I hope she's not racist. I just. I have to someone. We need to have like a. A green book. We need to have like a. An under pound. We do database of all of the white people on the list.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah, we just gotta. We gotta have certain gatekeepers because you know, there are niggas who will. They will rub their feet together in anticipation of telling white people about it. So we gotta be careful about who all has access to it. But also I've seen legit, you know, Team Breezy Chris Brown fans on Threads and TikTok talking about how bad this album is. So.

[Crissle West]

Yeah, I have too.

[Kid Fury]

I'm like, damn if the fans don't even like it, baby. Just pretend it didn't happen.

[Crissle West]

Well, I haven't seen clips of fans or whatever, but I did see. I did see him saying some about it was getting mixed reviews and I saw a few posts on threads that were like, well damn, even the fans are not really good. Yeah, yeah, it's aiming for debut at number five on Billboard 200 with 70,000 units in the first week. Which I guess is a flop because everybody's treating it like one are acting like it's one. Somebody says selling out stadiums but can't even sell a hundred thousand units first week. His fans clearly hate this. Hate his new music. Well, flops Never compare him to MJ ever again. I'm doing.

[Kid Fury]

And that should have never happened. That should have never, ever happened. From the beginning. I told you children that y' all were on drugs from the beginning with them comparisons to Michael Jackson. And y' all said we was just old and hating.

[Crissle West]

Remember when they were trying to do it with the Weeknd? At least Chris Brown could do a fucking moonwalk. I don't know.

[Kid Fury]

That was absurd.

[Crissle West]

From the beginning there.

[Kid Fury]

And especially like, do y' all hear the Weeknd's music? Where are you getting?

[Crissle West]

Hello?

[Kid Fury]

Where are you getting Joseph.

[Crissle West]

But you remember he had that, like, he had that one little era. He was trying to play with it. Okay, you know what I'm talking about. You don't remember, like one or two songs where he. That were actually really popular of his, that were Michael Jackson coded. Y' all can tap in in the comments.

[Kid Fury]

What was this, like a very brief black era?

[Crissle West]

No, it was just like. Okay, hold on, let me look. I can't remember. It was like he was really up. Like everybody wouldn't shut the fuck up about him. What was that single?

[Kid Fury]

It always felt like his music is for white girls in the club.

[Crissle West]

It is.

[Kid Fury]

So I don't even remember this, but he's been around a long ass time.

[Crissle West]

Oh, yeah, he's. He's ancient. But I can't. Okay. The weekend MJ style song minus not.

[Kid Fury]

You really trying to find it?

[Crissle West]

No, because I really wanna. I wanna thank you, girl. He has tried.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crissle West]

Out of time. Is it out of time? I don't remember what any of these songs sound like. Cause I don't click on them on purpose.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

It's old. It's back when he was wearing that red jacket and shit.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, all right. So it was intentional.

[Crissle West]

Yeah, Gotcha. And everyone's like, oh, he's the Michael Jackson.

[Kid Fury]

I'll just let it go. Just stop comparing people to Michael Jackson. It's too much going on there.

[Crissle West]

Yeah, let him be there. They couldn't even compare him to Michael. They didn't even compare this movie to Michael Jackson.

[Kid Fury]

Come on, be for real.

[Crissle West]

Heartless Blinding Lights is I think, the song I'm thinking of.

[Kid Fury]

Okay. Amen you got there.

[Crissle West]

No, I don't know what I'm talking about. Anyways, I don't like his music either. And I was never going to listen to Sebastian Brown. You couldn't stuff my checking, like never.

[Kid Fury]

Sebastian. Leave me alone.

[Crissle West]

Sebastian Diggs.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, all right.

[Crissle West]

Apparently Nicki Minaj hates this Coca Cola. She hates her. You don't know what you're on TikTok. What do you mean you don't know?

[Kid Fury]

Two different algorithms?

[Crissle West]

You don't know Coca Water?

[Kid Fury]

No. I'm shocked. How.

[Crissle West]

Well, how the fuck do I know Coca Aurora?

[Kid Fury]

Now it's going to be all over my TikTok. Soon as we get off this phone, it's going to be all over. Okay. All right. Goddamn, I didn't even.

[Crissle West]

Like they were my daughter.

[Kid Fury]

No, I don't know this is that. What?

[Crissle West]

It's terrible. It is an awful song by a very lovely young lady named Trim. Okay.

[Kid Fury]

All right.

[Crissle West]

Trim is a new viral rap girl who, from what I can gander at, has risen to rolling loud heights by making TikTok friendly music.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah,

[Crissle West]

I think all of it is bad. However, I'm almost 20 years older than her, so her career, the trajectory of her career has nothing to do with me.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

If the kids are having a good time, that's all that matters to me. As long as you're no like her. Oh, let's blow up Palestinian.

[Kid Fury]

Right, Right.

[Crissle West]

Like, I. I really, you know, have a good time.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

The. The reason why a lot of it is blatantly not for me is because it sounds like Nicki Minaj cosplay. Oh, it does. Like, it's the same.

[Kid Fury]

The noises you are making out of your face.

[Crissle West]

You listen to this fucking song and you tell me that that was not spot on. Okay, it's awful.

[Kid Fury]

All right. It sounds. It.

[Crissle West]

It's awful.

[Kid Fury]

It really sounds bad, but I think

[Crissle West]

it's one of those songs where people can make funny shit out of it on TikTok. Like, they're taking it and using it as a sound.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crissle West]

And dancing to it, but also making silly clips and skits or whatever to it, too. I know that that is the intention. I know that it was the intentional at that last song. But she's also very, very, very Nicki Minaj coded pink here and there all of the time. The biggest thing for me is the way that she raps. So much so that even before this horrible Coconut Water song came out, when I was first introduced to her, I was like, oh, this is a barb. This is a young barb in motion.

[Kid Fury]

I'm looking at her. She literally looks like Nikki's little sister.

[Crissle West]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

Okay. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

[Crissle West]

I was like, okay, this is a barb that's really breaking into the music industry and is. Is, you know, is capable of making some catchy songs.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

I thought the first time that somebody would ask her about this, she'd Be like, yes, Nikki's my biggest inspiration and I really want to be the princess. Da da da. Which would have been completely fine to me.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

I don't even know that I would have cared regardless. But it would make sense, right? The first time I saw a clip of someone asking her how she felt about the comparisons, she said something like, you know, I'm never gonna be mad at being compared to the greats, but, you know, my voice just maybe she said something about the tone of it or something that made it sound like it's organic. Like it wasn't intentional. It's just the way that her voice is. I remember watching that clip and going, little girl, please, who told you to say this? Nobody's voice is like that on purpose or like, you know what I mean? Like, that's. I couldn't even believe the girl was not from New York. She's from South Carolina.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crissle West]

She speaks exactly like Onika Tanya.

[Kid Fury]

I was just about to ask where she was from.

[Crissle West]

Exactly like her.

[Kid Fury]

Okay. South Carolina. Crazy, baby. You know that's not your voice and it's okay. Like, it's fine. But the. This. This pink wig up, dude. This is absolutely Nicki Minaj coded. Please don't have me give that lady nothing. Okay.

[Crissle West]

But Nicki Minaj is also a so parts as well. There's no reason for you to not just go, oh, yeah, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Yep.

[Crissle West]

I don't know if her team was like, listen, that bitch is out the gate. Now's the time. Don't say nothing about her. You'll get canceled anyway. She's awful. So let's just take this shit.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, well, okay. And that's fair as well. She's like, this is a cute girl. She's 19. Oh, a baby. Okay. Yeah.

[Crissle West]

You know who does care 20 year olds? Nicki Minaj. Oh, she's been blocking fan pages that support trim.

[Kid Fury]

So somebody with the mentality of a 20 year old. Yeah. Wait, so what's her. Did she speak on it or she's just blocking people?

[Crissle West]

No, she's just blocking people, but we can absolutely guess what it is. First of all, Nicki. Nicki Minaj don't like any woman with a birthday in their hands.

[Kid Fury]

So, like, we can start right there. You. Right.

[Crissle West]

But off rip. When I saw this girl, actually, when I saw that clip of her trying to, you know, play off the Nicki Minaj comparisons or dismiss them. When I saw that, I was like, oh, Nicki has to hate this girl. He has to hate this girl.

[Kid Fury]

She.

[Crissle West]

Nikki passed on a doja Cat record that Doja basically constructed for her. And Doja kept the end of it where she says, thank you, Nicki, I love you. Like, and she still hate that girl. And Doja Cat don't rap nothing like her. For real. For real.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

A lot of times she does sound a lot like her. But I would say maybe this is the tone of her voice. Even her speaking voice sounds not too different than her rapping voice to me, right. This girl is a child from South Carolina that speaks like she's from Staten island and raps like this lady.

[Kid Fury]

Lord help us.

[Crissle West]

Anyway, again, if I was this 40 year old woman with a family at home And I guess J.D. vance on, on my favorites in my app, my iPhone, yikes. I think I would just be minding my business, right.

[Kid Fury]

That would be the most fun thing to do to me. But, you know, you could also, at any point in your life, just decide that you're gonna interrogate why you act the way you do. And you know, because the fact that Nikki seems to feel so threatened at even the slightest upswing in any other female hip hop artist is alarming. Like, yeah, a lot of the. First of all, you're nothing without your Stans. You need them kids bad number one, Big bad number two. A lot of them are just as insane about you as they are some other artists. You're gonna have to let them be Nikki Trim or whatever they call them. You're gonna have to let them.

[Crissle West]

No, you're right. I'm sure that's a page. You're completely right.

[Kid Fury]

They're using AI to put you and Trim's face and call that themselves.

[Crissle West]

So Barbie Grande.

[Kid Fury]

Yes. You have to let it go. You have to let it go, girl.

[Crissle West]

Yeah. I do think it's like, I'm not gonna lie, I. I could understand being at home, especially with the state of things for her right now and looking at this little girl who has like her whole career ahead of her.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Who's taking the sauce, running with it and also being like, oh, yeah, she's cool, she's great. But I'm that real doll. I'm the, you know, the new supreme, that true rap girly. I could see her being out and being like, who the fuck does this little girl think she is? But then I would call my best friend and be like, have you seen this little audacious brat? Right maybe.

[Kid Fury]

Right maybe.

[Crissle West]

And we would laugh about it.

[Kid Fury]

Just get over it immediately because then I don't care. But yeah, it's. That is really is. Is just Like a hallmark of her behavior. But I also think this trim girl has seen everybody else give Nikki they props. And Nikki's like, oh, yeah, the young girls, blah, blah, blah. And then eventually she turns on them. So she's like, how about I just bypass all of that and just say, I'm me, I'm trim. Because kissing Nikki's ass or giving her props for inspiration or whatever, that don't do the girls no favors in the long run either. So. Yeah, Yeah, I might have said the same thing. Actually, now that I think about it, Nikki, who, as you look exactly like her.

[Crissle West]

And rap exactly like her. Oh, man. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I actually come from a place called Narnia. And what's the thing about it is. I'm sorry. I'm actually a crystal gem. And so our voices, the way they develop, it's just. It's a natural thing. You see, that's why Nicki Minaj guest voiced on an episode. This is. This is how we truly are so, so hilarious.

[Kid Fury]

She's actually copying me. She's actually cosplaying my culture.

[Crissle West]

So. But thank you.

[Kid Fury]

You know, we're glad. We're glad it's popular over here now with the rest of you, but this is what an original sounds like.

[Crissle West]

Fierce. I can't even, like, do all of it. I don't like the music. I think it is very forced and constructed. I also think that this young woman, if she comes out on the other side of it, she's so young that she can find her sound and shift a bunch of times and have real potential. And that aside, I think it's lovely that it's annoying. This woman scoped out. This is a blast, right?

[Kid Fury]

Nikki looking at this girl like, you know, one thing you can't buy is youth. And she looked young. She looked. You know, you can buy skin treatments and body modifications and all that, but you can't buy genuinely looking 19 anymore. And like you said, this girl has her whole life ahead of her. She don't have no kids. She ain't pissed off 90% of the industry. She's not married to a rapist. You know, like, the. The future is bright and she can do whatever she wants to do with it. So I can see Nikki feeling away about this young girl stealing her whole look and then being like, I've never heard of Nicki Minaj.

[Crissle West]

I'm sorry, Nicki. I know Giovanni. I don't. Who is this?

[Kid Fury]

Don't know what you mean. We don't do that where I come from. No, not in the kindergarten. We don't play that.

[Crissle West]

Mariah Carey. I don't know her.

[Kid Fury]

Yep, straight like that. Too cute.

[Crissle West]

I don't know her. God, I love that clip. She said that shit. So matter of fact. And then nodded her head like, what else? Do you have another question? Yeah, this is lovely. It's very funny. You know, you have to go listen to this.

[Kid Fury]

It will be all over my FYP now.

[Crissle West]

It's just time.

[Kid Fury]

Yep, it sure will.

[Crissle West]

So it is so funny now that I think about it. Doja kid actually made a clip of like, voicing that over on at the Met gala or whatever.

[Kid Fury]

Okay. So I've seen this and just didn't know what the was going on.

[Crissle West]

Yeah, you probably. I can't believe that you didn't at least zoom past it. Yeah, it was probably just so outside of things that you would give a fuck about that. Why would you slow down? Why would you pull over?

[Kid Fury]

Right, right. Okay, well, I'll see it now. TikTok, show me that video as soon as I'm off this call. There you go.

[Crissle West]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

You love it. You hate it, but you love it.

[Crissle West]

I don't. It's just. Yes, yes, keep saying it. Also, I finally listened to that Caresha song on 1.5.

[Kid Fury]

Ain't it better? See, see, you was mad at first, but it actually.

[Crissle West]

I was. Because it's awful. Like it in itself, terrible.

[Kid Fury]

But you speed it up.

[Crissle West]

She need to go into. You know how some of the artists do that now, where they re release a single and it'll be like the song. The song. Spared the song. She should just go ahead and make it official.

[Kid Fury]

She should. Because it is. When I say it actually makes the song tolerable.

[Crissle West]

It is tolerable.

[Kid Fury]

So much better. Sped up.

[Crissle West]

When I sped it up for the first time, I was like, why isn't this.

[Kid Fury]

This should be the regular version, girl.

[Crissle West]

This should be the song.

[Kid Fury]

You rapping about scammers in slow motion. Why?

[Crissle West]

Why would you do that for what?

[Kid Fury]

Oh, Caress.

[Crissle West]

Everyone knows a scammer and a booster

[Kid Fury]

have to be quick.

[Crissle West]

Get out of there. Why are you still here? Caresha, please.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, man.

[Crissle West]

That's it for the Hot Tops this week. We're gonna take a break and come back and read your foolishness.

[Kid Fury]

Hey, y', all, if you're hiring, you want a candidate who's passionate about the role, but you really can't get that insight from a resume. So when I had my last 9 to 5 job, I was actually tasked with the responsibility of hiring my replacement. And it was easy to find people who are qualified on paper, but when I was conducting interviews with some of these candidates, the ones who really jumped out were the ones who were super interested in the role and they genuinely were like they had questions to ask about my responsibilities and what the day to day was like. They were excited about working for the company, a giant media company that they knew, you know, this was a great opportunity. They seemed like they would be a good fit with the culture and the co workers that I knew they would have to spend the most time with. And so they were just was so excited about it. They seemed like they were such a great fit that they jumped out more. So that's. This is the sort of thing that you really can't get from the resume by itself, but there is a way to work around it. Okay, post that job on ZipRecruiter. You can try for free at ZipRecruiter.com the Read now what will happen is Zoo Recruiter will use their powerful matching technology to find qualified candidates quickly. And they have a new feature that shows you the most interested qualified candidates first so you meet the right people faster. Candidates can tell you in their own words why they're interested in your job, which will help you sort through the many people applying for the position and help you find the right person faster. It's no wonder that ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. So find candidates today who really want your job on ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. So again, try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com theread that's ZipRecruiter.com t h e R E A D Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. Save yourself some time. Hey y', all, you know what really grinds my gears? The fact that everything these days feels like it costs so much more than it used to. And I do mean everything. Groceries, gas, all kinds of bills. It all adds up. And we've all felt that pressure of trying to make our money stretch a little further. I am being so much more careful with my spending. I actually have a budget that I am very strongly sticking to these days. I'm doubling, triple checking prices. I'm comparison shopping all that to try to spend as little as possible when the cost of everything is skyrocketing. So when your tax refund hits and you're thinking about what's the best way to keep more money in your pocket without giving something up. I have a real life hack for you. Switch to Metro and save with no activation FEES and get one line of 5G for only $25. Yes, only $25 and no contracts that get in the way. But the best part is that you can keep the phone you love and keep your number. That's a lot of ands. But that's exactly the point. More money in your pocket, better value. All at Metro T Mobile so get that more for your money feeling Only a Metro. Visit your local store or Metro by T mobile.com and switch today. $30 first month $25 after with autopay

[Crissle West]

we are back Slurs it is time for your listener letters.

[Kid Fury]

It is. Send your Questions to AskTheRead Gmail.com we may read them aloud on the show. There's a quick question here from Cam who wants to know if you could Fury have heard of the Real Housewives of Kanoha on YouTube? What?

[Crissle West]

Where the is Kanoha?

[Kid Fury]

I'm thinking it was some anime reference that K o N O h a. I might be saying it right?

[Crissle West]

Maybe it is.

[Kid Fury]

Well they said it's funny as fuck. You should watch it if you haven't heard of it, so.

[Crissle West]

Oh Kanoa.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, my bad. Well, I mean I'm sounding an outro.

[Crissle West]

This is some nigga making a Naruto Housewives. I have to watch this?

[Kid Fury]

Now you're immediately crying why? For what?

[Crissle West]

So stupid. I can't wait to watch this. Well, thank you for introducing me. Now, I have not seen this yet, but yes.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, well Cam said K. Fury would absolutely love that and it seems like you may have been right about that Cam. We'll we'll get his review later on. Our next question technically comes from Chloe who says, Dear Kiff and crystal, I'm a 40 year old black woman in Atlanta with three kids, two high level jobs and a small business that I'm trying to grow. I basically run my house like a CFO because I grew up poor and I refuse to recreate that for my kids. I pay our 2500 mortgage, I pay the bills, I fund the trips. I keep the lights and the water on. My husband is supposed to, quote, unquote, handle the house since I handle the money. A few years ago my big sister told me, always have an account that's just yours. So I quietly opened my own separate checking account where my real money lives. The account my husband sees is our joint account and I only transfer money into that one when it's time to pay for something. As far as I can tell, he does not even have a bank account of his own. So that joint account has basically turned into his spending and day to day lifeline that I occasionally feed. And lately I've started leaving it in the red on purpose so he can wake up. This man under earns has his little entrepreneurial thing, whatever that is, and does what I call performance chores. He'll wipe a counter, but leave toothpaste in the sink and hair in the tub and dirty floors. I've literally had to tell this grown man, please do not leave your chores for me, especially because I take care of everything else. Now on to the most recent foolishness. Recently we went to a steakhouse he picked out before we even went. Our joint account was at negative 75 and he knew this. I do not use that joint account from her. Again, I do not use that joint account for my real money. I just transfer in what's needed when it's time to pay for something or when he has our kids for this dinner. He only moved $200 into that account that was already at negative 75 and then proceeded to order like we were balling. When the bill came to around $300, I quietly transferred another 400 from my private account because I refused to be embarrassed in public. As soon as we left that restaurant, I moved every leftover scent back to my personal account and left him with basically nothing.

[Crissle West]

I have no idea what's happening the next day. I mean, I do.

[Kid Fury]

The next day. This man who has zero real bills in his name and no automatic drafts, hidden his account, texted me asking if I could give him $20 like I'm his mama putting lunch money on his card.

[Crissle West]

This is humiliated.

[Kid Fury]

Meanwhile, I'm the one keeping a roof over our heads, paying utilities, paying for our three kids, and he's walking around with a full steak belly off of money. I had to secret move in and out so we didn't get declined at the table. Oh my God. So here's my question. Am I being a financial fool for even still being here and covering anything at this point? Or is he actually moving like a dependent who just happens to share my last name? I don't know what to do. I want to be the one to leave because he's broke, but it feels like disrespect at this point because why the would he plan a steakhouse dinner knowing he didn't have enough money? It's because he knew that I was going to cover it it. So this is me trying to Stand up for myself and let him feel the consequences of his actions. But I'm not sure. Please help. P. S. I make well over 300k a year, so I technically can afford everything. But that's not the point. The point is I never signed up to take care of him. I've only made that much because I have like five jobs. I feel like I've birthed his kids, and that would should have been more than enough. That was my mind and body sacrifice. And the rest of the work should be him. This doesn't seem fair. Marriage is a scam. Thanks, Chloe.

[Crissle West]

I would argue that your marriage is a scam.

[Kid Fury]

That is my exact thought. Marriage is not a scam in and of itself, but yours absolutely is.

[Crissle West]

Sometimes y' all have to like, really, you know, just unfurl that scroll and look at the information presented in front of you, and then call this nigga's mama and say, take him back yourself.

[Kid Fury]

You're not done with it.

[Crissle West]

Re. Raise. You're not. And I'm. I have three kids, so I'm not raising this nigga. Are you? Are you? So you give him an allowance.

[Kid Fury]

Y.

[Crissle West]

He does a cleanup after himself. He has absolutely, like, no sense of financial literacy, responsibility. And he also is spoiled because you gonna pay for his steak dinner any the.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah.

[Crissle West]

For him to go back home and play Battlefield 6 until 4am and they eat all the baby's Welch's fruits and they. And then you're like, well, is marriage a scam when you're married to a scammer? Yeah, where all my scamming. The fuck can you imagine? I can't understand this shit, Crystal.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, I.

[Crissle West]

Raising a full grown man.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, I do. I know what's happening here. I should say that as opposed to I understand. I know what's happening here.

[Crissle West]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

But Chloe, the thing about your situation is that most women who are in a dynamic like yours need that other person financially or for housing or something. This is legit. Another dependent. And if the shoe was on the other foot, a woman, a woman with a husband who makes over 300k a year and has three children would be expected to keep that house spotless. Yes, to have every meal you should never eat cereal a day in your life that should be up two hours before you have to leave to go to work, to make whatever you want that day, to have your breakfast cooked, your lunch packed, and to ask what you want for dinner, because as soon as you leave, he's going to do his chores and then go do the grocery Shopping, get some nice flowers so the house feels like a home. Like a woman would be expected to absolutely keep that house in beautiful condition. And you would be made fun of if you couldn't do it with a man making this much money.

[Crissle West]

Yes.

[Kid Fury]

Every other woman, she's.

[Crissle West]

You would have, like, no value. Why are you married to this bitch? Literally, what is. You know, like, she is no, like, values or traditional, but she's not, like, wife material. All that.

[Kid Fury]

It would be all of that. Especially making $300,000 in Atlanta. Like, that's actually. Come on, that's actually a high salary anywhere.

[Crissle West]

Yes.

[Kid Fury]

So that kind of money in Atlanta, you got a $2,500 mortgage. I know your house. House is nice. Of course, the fact that this will wipe a countertop, but leave hair on the floor and toothpaste in the sink.

[Crissle West]

Imagine doing whatever work it takes to get that no salary.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

Work that comfortably right. Have what is, like you said, likely to be a nice home.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Only for this broke ass nigga to be leaving rings around in your tub. Imagine that. I get this beautiful house for myself and I have to be married to Charlie Brown, right?

[Kid Fury]

No.

[Crissle West]

Pig Pen.

[Kid Fury]

No, no.

[Crissle West]

Talk to a girl named Pig Pen.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, the filthy one where the cloud of dirt just followed him around. Yeah, yeah, the little funky ass friend. Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Jeez.

[Kid Fury]

I would talk to a divorce attorney. Because even if you do leave him, you're probably gonna have to pay child support or alimony or something.

[Crissle West]

Alimony. Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And you know what? And it still might be cheaper than funding this man's whole fucking life.

[Crissle West]

1000%.

[Kid Fury]

Watch your house be cleaner once that man is not in it.

[Crissle West]

1,000%. Because even if you ain't cleaning it, the kids ain't cleaning it. You can. You will now have money to have somebody help clean it for you because you work your ass off instead of

[Kid Fury]

paying for his steak dinners or whatever. And you, He. He got whatever his own little entrepreneurial thing is, whatever that is, and, you know, Uber or whatever on the side every now and then. But, like, if the. It. It sounds like y' all had an agreement. You were going to hustle and make the money. He was going to take care of the home. He is not taking care of the home. And he has no consequences for not taking care of the home. And it's a shame that you even have to think about it like that because that's how you think about interacting with children.

[Crissle West]

Exactly.

[Kid Fury]

You would think as an adult, you would be grateful that you don't have to work five fucking Jobs that you get to stay. Baby, if somebody who makes a lot of money would like to bring me into their rich life and all I have to do is keep this bitch tidy,

[Crissle West]

I would also like to present myself forward with the same spirit. Thank you.

[Kid Fury]

This man, you right, he's spoiled. He don't realize how good he has it or he don't think you gonna leave or all of the above.

[Crissle West]

But bitch, I will take your shoes off at the door for like, listen, girl, literally my whole lifestyle, taking care of cheese on my burger every night.

[Kid Fury]

Every night is the thing that's the. Like, she. You got this many jobs. You have two high level jobs and a small business that you're trying to grow. That means you're always at work. Work. You're always. Even when you at home, you working. I just.

[Crissle West]

Baby, imagine you got to tell your filthy ass husband, spouse, you do you have McDonald's money? That's when you know it's kidding.

[Kid Fury]

Are you kidding?

[Crissle West]

Curtains.

[Kid Fury]

Are you kidding? And. And then I have the free time. We have three children. They're probably in school, so I have all day to do my things. Like. Okay, all right. So. Okay.

[Crissle West]

You could at least cook. You could at the. Actually, I don't even know about that because when you cook, you have to clean well.

[Kid Fury]

And I mean, she, she put in a lot in the middle of this letter of like, this nigga refuses to pay. He's not cooking dinner. You know, he's not always picking up the kids. He's not, you know, doing chores around the house. She came home one night and clothes and trash were everywhere. Dishes was a mess, nothing was done. And this man is like sitting there and, and playing video games and then decided to go Uber or something like that. So he is literally playing with you, girl. He is playing with you. Are you being a financial fool?

[Crissle West]

Well, yes, Only fools fall in love.

[Kid Fury]

And I mean, I'm sure there are. They have to be good things about this man. You wanted him for some reason. I don't know what that reason is, but you do surely. So.

[Crissle West]

Huh.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. I think it's time for you to consult an attorney to see, you know, a thousand percent. It might be cheaper to keep her. And I'm sorry if that's true, but the not coming home to my house being a disaster might be worth. Really might because what you mean? I've been at work all day. I finally dragged my ass in here and instead of pot roast and potatoes and green beans waiting on me, I got kids running around looking crazy and the Whole house is toe up and you over there talking about, yeah, I'm finna take the car you bought me and go doordash for a little bit. Girl, I'll roll off the roof.

[Crissle West]

And this fucking triple stain Tupperware that you just had Chef Boyardee out of two nights ago still in the. So what do you think this is right?

[Kid Fury]

Right? Cuz you're not.

[Crissle West]

You couldn't even take that chicken out the freezer like I told your ass to before I left work. So what are you doing here?

[Kid Fury]

I'm not cooking. I'm not. I. Instead of a husband, you could have a full time housekeeper who would make your life so much better than this. Who would actually do what they're supposed to do.

[Crissle West]

Do.

[Kid Fury]

Who would actually. I'll come home. What they're supposed to do.

[Crissle West]

I'll come home, pack up all three of my kids, we're going to get steak. We're going to the steakhouse. The husband like, okay, we going. Not you. You can choke.

[Kid Fury]

Not in front of the kids.

[Crissle West]

Absolutely in front of the children.

[Kid Fury]

Think about the message you are teaching your children of what to expect out of a marriage or what is is tolerable in a marriage. What are you. Not what you're saying to them. What are you showing your children is acceptable behavior in a marriage?

[Crissle West]

Think about, clean your room. Daddy don't clean a thing.

[Kid Fury]

If you don't work, you won't have nowhere to live. Daddy don't work and daddy live here and it's nice. Well, daddy takes care of the house. That's how everybody has responsibility. Daddy don't do that either. Because when I was growing up, it was absolutely, you have to learn how to take care of a house because that is the cost of being in a family. You have to learn how to do things at the bare minimum. Clean up after yourself. Grown adults, baby, I'm sorry. Blame capitalism. We have to do something to take care of the home. And if you don't work, you have to clean that and cook. You do.

[Crissle West]

Not to mention how in terms of parenting, how gen norms, gender norms.

[Kid Fury]

Oh yeah.

[Crissle West]

Into this.

[Kid Fury]

Oh yeah.

[Crissle West]

Cause I think my mother was the one who was very much. Clean up after yourself, clean your room. Here's how you do laundry, all these other things. Yeah, and my father was here. How you fix the car. Here's how you.

[Kid Fury]

Oh yeah. Oh, same.

[Crissle West]

Here's how you fix things around the house. I think, you know, we got learned. We weren't like, oh, you don't need to learn this thing over Here, because this is for boys, so this is for girls.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

But I can't imagine if I had another parent in the house that was just farting and watching sports and never doing a thing or working.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah. It was definitely gendered in my house, too. But it was. You know, men do certain chores, women do certain chores, but you still need to learn how to do both. Like, I learned how to mow. I didn't do it regularly, but I learned how to mow the lawn. This. Yeah, you. It's time. It's been time to call a lawyer. Like, girl, I can't with this nigga.

[Crissle West]

I agree that. I hope it's not a cheaper to keep her situation, but, yeah, if it meant me just coming home, girl, you know, coming home to a clean home is so nice after working your ass off.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Regardless of the field, the occupation.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

You come home and your things are nice and they're clean and everything's where you. You left it.

[Kid Fury]

Yep.

[Crissle West]

Oh, what a piece.

[Kid Fury]

It's peace.

[Crissle West]

What a peace.

[Kid Fury]

Yes, it's peace. And when you come home to chaos and confusion after a long day at work, it makes you that much more stressed and tired. You got two.

[Crissle West]

I hope I don't get in trouble for this. Oh, Lord, I hope I don't get in trouble.

[Kid Fury]

Famous Lesser.

[Crissle West]

There was like, one or two times where my mother had come home from work and the house was a mess. She did an immediate U turn.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yeah.

[Crissle West]

And got back in her car.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yeah.

[Crissle West]

Just left.

[Kid Fury]

Yep.

[Crissle West]

She would be like, I don't even know.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

I wasn't even sure where I was going. I just picked the plane. She just walked in and was like, you know what? No. I worked too hard today. I don't care about none of this. These niggas can figure it out. Three kids, spouse. I shouldn't have to. Yep. Bye.

[Kid Fury]

And my mama did the same thing one time. I'll never forget it because it spooked the fuck out of me. We were like, where you going? I don't know. When you gonna be back? I don't know. And just left.

[Crissle West]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And I was like, oh, I can't handle that. I'm not emotionally prepared for this at all. Yikes.

[Crissle West]

So same. Yeah, same. Cause I def. That was the time I could remember it. It also shook the whole hand of God right on my shoulder. I was like, girl, wait.

[Kid Fury]

I didn't know.

[Crissle West]

Wait. Also, mama's boy. Mommy comes. Wait, why are you leaving? Yeah, because we did something wrong. Now I feel ashamed.

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crissle West]

Not disappointed in Myself right now. I'm washing the floor with a tip, right? That's how you get it done. Yeah, but again, her husband fully worked, you know, took care of certain things around the house. He ain't clean and shit. You're talking about this nigga. You have to give him an allowance. You plugging in money to his bank account so that y' all could. Why did you even go to the steakhouse with him when you know he

[Kid Fury]

broke the worst thing I've ever heard, bro. What do you mean cute? What do you mean?

[Crissle West]

She let your husband borrow some money, right? And then you took it back.

[Kid Fury]

How does he even get. How does he frequently withdraw? Like, how does he keep going into the negatives over and over like. And he just. He just like, oh, well, let me text mommy wife and she'll take care of it. Horror. This is a horror movie.

[Crissle West]

She leave it in the red sometimes so he could can learn.

[Kid Fury]

That is what she said to like

[Crissle West]

a five year old. Six, seven, eight.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Chloe, good luck in your divorce. My divorce? You might need a wife. Anything but this, man.

[Crissle West]

I agree. That's one of those. The ones where you have a divorce party.

[Kid Fury]

Yes, yes. And watch your life get easier. Watch your life get less stressful.

[Crissle West]

Without question.

[Kid Fury]

That's a damn shame. Your part. Anyway, good luck, baby. Our last letter comes from Kim, who says, I have this friend Moesha.

[Crissle West]

I. You know what? I should have seen a couple.

[Kid Fury]

You should have. I have this friend Moesha who I met when we both moved to a new city to start at the same job. We started hanging out and over the years we developed what I thought was a genuine sisterhood. We showed up for each other when needed and had a good old time. Even when she got pregnant and married a troll ass, fugly ass, dingy, dirty dick ass boy. I loved her and showed up to support. Cut to years later, she's now going through a nasty divorce and she just wants to be out here and have fun. Cool. Moesha invited me to her friend Niecy's birthday trip. I had not even she was coming. I had not even met Niecy before and it was supposed to be a girls trip with just the three of us. We were having drinks and a good time when Moesha drops the bomb that she has invited some named Q that she's been and he's bringing his friend and his brother. Now, I was not a fan of this scheme, but it wasn't my birthday trip. So I said whatever and kept on with the keeping on later. That Afternoon, Q showed up with his homeboy. They seemed to be cool, everybody was vibing. That night they met up with us at our hotel, but this time with Q's brother. And that's where the night went left. The brother is some short, dusty weirdo and we could smell the Hennessy pouring out of his pores. He was being a little too aggressive with the flirting. Even after Nissan, Niecy and I both let him know that we're not interested and we have boyfriends.

[Crissle West]

Ewok.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. Moesha was so far up Q's ass that she wasn't reading the room. After a couple hours of Q's drunk ass brother harassing us, I had enough. He and I were arguing back and forth. Then this little polly pocket ass rolled up on me, squared up and yelled, so what's up, up?

[Crissle West]

Oh.

[Kid Fury]

So I then stood up, towering over him and squared up too, because I don't know who the he thought I was. We all up in each other's face. N was immediately by my side, prepared to have my back with whatever happened. Q came over and started to grab his brother out my face when Moesha then grabbed Q and told him to stay out of it and the two of them walked away.

[Crissle West]

What?

[Kid Fury]

Q's friend and some random dude pulled up on little men and then he backed down and the men all left. Since they all left, me and Niecy went back to dancing and vibing, all while Moesha's ass was pouting in the corner. We eventually left and this heifer has not said one word to me since. She went in the room, closed the door and waited up for Q to come over. And the rest of the night she was just laid up with Q while me and Niecy were chilling. I woke up the next day before both of them changed my flight and left a day earlier because I refused to spend any more time being ignored or made to feel like I ruined something. I texted them letting them know that I left. Niecy called me to check that I was okay. Moesha, however, just texted back, okay, get home safe. It's been almost a week and we still have yet to even talk about this fiasco and I'm low key pissed. She's supposed to be my homegirl, but Moesha was too worried about some out of town dick to even have my back. What's the best way to approach her when it comes to this situation? Should I just cut my losses and move on? I told my man about what happened and he said I should dump her because she is not to be trusted when shit hits the fan. Any advice would be great. Love, Kim. You know, Moesha was always a sometimey ass friend.

[Crissle West]

She really, really was.

[Kid Fury]

She really was.

[Crissle West]

She really was.

[Kid Fury]

She did not do for the moment

[Crissle West]

that I knew it from the day that Kim made the cheerleading team and she didn't.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Oh, you said you didn't even want to be a cheerleader. You were coming to support. They picked me. And now you feel some type of way, and you're calling me fat.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yeah.

[Crissle West]

Misha was always sometimey. Okay, no, we're not addressing the question.

[Kid Fury]

But she really, like. She was. She was literally like, how dare your fat ass get something that I don't have? Like, bitch, right? I'll beat your ass fat and all

[Crissle West]

because I want it more. Because I'm good at it.

[Kid Fury]

Because I'm better than you at this.

[Crissle West]

I'm better than you at this. Why are you upset? I didn't do anything to you.

[Kid Fury]

Oh. Anyway.

[Crissle West]

Oh, she pissed me off so bad. That's like everybody.

[Kid Fury]

Everybody was mad at that one.

[Crissle West]

Horrendous. And she did act a fool over Q, too. I don't understand her behavior. What the fuck does she feel like you did to behave, like, to intervene and it not be on your side, not being an attempt to protect you or even diffuse anything.

[Kid Fury]

And meanwhile, your friend, who I just met and it's her fucking birthday is right next to me, ready for whatever. But you, my friend of years that I thought was, you know, more like a sister. You trying to. You trying to keep this nigga from stopping his own brother from fighting, from putting his fucking hands on me, Right?

[Crissle West]

He should be stopping his brother from putting hands on anybody.

[Kid Fury]

Right? Why would you. Why would you be like, nah, stay out of it. Let them handle that. You see this gr. You see this grown man squaring up on me? And you going to tell his brother not to get involved? Are you serious?

[Crissle West]

Y' all should have jumped her.

[Kid Fury]

You and Nie both.

[Crissle West]

Y' all should have jumped, cuz. What the are you talking about?

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. E, I hate to agree with a man, but I think your boyfriend is right. When shit go down, when shit really hits the fan, Moesha is more worried about dick than her friend. And that's. That's so fucked up.

[Crissle West]

Also, it's like, why would you ever want to be anybody? Gender aside, but especially a fem. Why would you ever want to do anything but clock, admonish, destroy, confront a man when it comes to violence, attempt at violence, and particularly that at Another woman or fan.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

Like, why would you. Why would you even allow a nigga to feel like he's in the zip code of okay. Correct. Maybe. Sorta.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

When it comes to bucking up on a woman. Why. And I'm your friend.

[Kid Fury]

I don't get it, baby. I really do not understand it. Make it make sense.

[Crissle West]

I could have been like. You won't understand this reference. I could have been like Lizzy Kaplan in the beginning Cloverfield, where she was at that boys party. But she only knew the girlfriend. Like, she was like, I don't really care about anything. I'm just here for the one person I know. I don't want to be any. I could have been that person and seen this and I would have immediately jumped in because, nigga, who the fuck do you think you are? What type of time do you think this is?

[Kid Fury]

Right?

[Crissle West]

So your best friend. Best.

[Kid Fury]

Are you cool? Yeah.

[Crissle West]

And then you wanted to pout.

[Kid Fury]

Didn't say not one word. You still more worried about this coming over to the hotel to you Good. That night as opposed to. Okay. All right. And it's been over a week and y' all still ain't talked. Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

There's no way that our next conversation is anything other than me cussing you, the out and ending girlfriend.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, I mean, I would. I would maybe want to. I would want to hear what she has to say for herself. Like, hopefully she. Kim has. I mean, Moesha has gone back and talked to, I don't know, her stepmom or somebody who said, now, you know, you did that girl wrong. How you going to stop a. Like, hopefully somebody has been in her ear about this and she's apologetic and she's like, girl, you know, since the divorce, I just been wanting some dick and I've been ridiculous.

[Crissle West]

But did Moesha listen to any of the adults in her life?

[Kid Fury]

Life

[Crissle West]

Again, I'm doing unnecessary parallels. Continue. I'm sorry.

[Kid Fury]

No, right. I. Hopefully, hopefully if. If she is apologetic about it, I wouldn't necessarily feel like we need to end the friendship. However, watch her. Or when it come to niggas, cuz you know that when it comes to men, all of a sudden she gonna act like she don't have good sense. And I probably would not go on no more group trips with her. Yeah, yeah. I don't. I think your man is right about like, when shit hits the fan, Moesha is not a person you can depend on. And so it might just be like a restructuring of the friendship or how close you are to her. As opposed to cutting her off entirely. But, yeah, because this was just beyond messy. And as women, I just really don't understand how you are going to tell a man to stop another man from physically fighting your friend. I really don't get it, bitch. I do not understand. I would be so ready to fight her. What you mean, stay out of it?

[Crissle West]

That's what I'm saying.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Crissle West]

I would have immediately been like, okay, you and me. You want to go outside or what do you want? How do you want to do this? Because I'm going to beat your ass.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, I.

[Crissle West]

How dare you.

[Kid Fury]

That would have pissed me off more than that little nigga trying to get in my face. What you mean?

[Crissle West]

I'm so serious.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Especially because she said, first of all, I'm a stallion. So I don't know what the.

[Kid Fury]

I stood up. I'm six inches taller than this, and I squared up as well. Cause who the are you talking to and hear this go talking about stay out of it. If you had paid attention to me or Niecy, you would have known that this has been drunk breathing all over us, being inappropriate, sexually harassing us for hours, and we're over it.

[Crissle West]

Even that.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah.

[Crissle West]

There is. I won't say nothing, but it is up there on the list of frustrating, cringy nigga behavior when they are soaked. I mean, just alcohol is steaming.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Crissle West]

And they're trying to get at you, girl. If you were sober trying to get at me with your, you know, your strategy, this probably still would go no further.

[Kid Fury]

Right? Still not working.

[Crissle West]

But you coming over here smelling like hot Hennessy and trying to talk to me. So there's one of two things that's gonna happen. Either I'm gonna play you in your face and tell you to get the fuck out of me, or treat you like this is not gonna go anywhere, obviously. And then what happens? You wanna fight? Or I suck it up and do the thing that women usually do in setting like this to avoid what happened anyway?

[Kid Fury]

Well, yes, this.

[Crissle West]

Which is just play along and hope that you go the away and here go Moishe's too worried about dick.

[Kid Fury]

Not to mention you violated girl code by bringing a. Or inviting a nigga on a girl's trip. Anyway,

[Crissle West]

that I hate her.

[Kid Fury]

And girl, girl, girl, I hate her. I. Yeah, a conversation needs to be had. But I. Yeah, you just gotta. You gotta take people when they show you who they are, you know, etc. Etc. Believe that shit.

[Crissle West]

So, yeah, I mean, I think you're right. Maybe she will have come to Jesus. She'll be like, my aunt Millie got me together and she told me always I was wrong. And you know, Jaden, apology goes here.

[Kid Fury]

Hopefully. Hopefully.

[Crissle West]

Hopefully.

[Kid Fury]

Best of luck, Kim. She just jealous cause you made the cheer team and she didn't. She gonna have to get over it.

[Crissle West]

The nerve of Moesha. I wanted to pull a braid out. Bitch, you didn't want to be no cheerleader. Now you mad that you not one is it? Cuz Gabrielle Union was on a cheerleading team. You were like, ooh, I gotta be on there too.

[Kid Fury]

True Raggedy. All right, let's like. And I was fat before I was a cheerleader like you.

[Crissle West]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

You just. So you just been. You just had that in the chamber. You were just waiting. You couldn't wait. Yeah, that just was on your spirit. You could not wait to let that one out. All right, let's wrap up the letters right there. Again. If you have a question for us, send us an email. Ask the reader gmail dot com. We'll be right back. Back. Hey, y'. All. So when I first went natural years and years and years ago, I fell down that delightful yet frustrating hole that so many of us tumble into when you try so many products and routines. Cuz you're like just trying to figure out what works for your hair and all the different textures on your head. So if you're anything like me, you took advice from a lot of different people, from friends to classmates to the natural hair influencers and the online forums. It was a relief for me when I finally found a basic routine that work for my very fine hair. But I still like to try new products because my hair's needs seem to be changing all the time. And I feel like so many of us in the natural hair community can relate to that. Baskin Lather is all about creating products specifically for textured hair instead of forcing your hair to fit someone else's routine. Okay. Amen. Their stimulating scalp and hair balm is made with 100% natural ingredients to nourish, reduce breakage and add shine without that heavy greasy feel. I know y' all know what I'm talking about. And the hydrating hair mist keeps your hair soft and hydrated with aloe vera and avocado oil to help with frizz, detangling and redefining your curls, especially for our styles like braids, twists or locs. Plus, Baskin Leather is black owned and family operated, rooted in real care and real results. So explore their viral bestsellers and products of healthier Hair of all types from Baskin lather. Go to baskandlatherco.com and use code reed for 20% off. That's 20% [e-mail] Code R E A D. Let them know the Reed sent you. Hey y', all, Spring is that time of year to restock and reevaluate what's going on in your home, what's in your pantry. Maybe you have some spices that expired several years ago. It's time to throw those away. You can take the stress out of grocery shopping and replacing those items with the online grocery Thrive Market for just five bucks a month month get access to a curated selection of organic and non GMO brands, member pricing, free delivery, and even free gifts. Thrive Market also restricts over a thousand ingredients, so you don't have to research every additive or second guess what you're buying. And with more than 90 dietary filters, you can shop your way, whether that's high protein, low sugar, or whatever works for you. Your diet, your family, etc. I love Thrive Market because I can get all of the basics that Lania and I go through on a regular basis. I'm talking about beans, rice, tea, sugar, chicken breasts, organic. All those things that we need, that we eat regularly are right there available. They come straight to the house. No delivery fees. And I don't have to take the time to actually go to the grocery store and sift through all that myself. It's just one more thing to make my life easier. So if you're ready to do your own spring reset, join Thrive Market with our link thrivemarket.com the resource for $20 off your first three orders, plus you'll get a free $60 gift. That's thrivemarket.com T H E R E A D Let them know Kifier and Crystal sent you.

[Crissle West]

All right, Slurs. We have reached the end of the function. It is now time for the read. I'll start because I really don't have much to say other than Los Angeles. I love it here. A lot of you who've been here much longer than me are, you know, saying la's dead. And you know, it's whack and trash out here. And I'm not gonna argue with you about that because there is some truth to it. However, I love it. Weather's great, beach is right there, great food. I'm having a blast. If Spencer Pratt becomes the mayor, I promise you, if Spencer Pratt becomes the mayor, if Heidi Montag no is the mayor's wife of this town, I am dust. You can absolutely catch me smoking. I'm out. My God. I don't even know why this keeps happening.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

What are we doing?

[Kid Fury]

I don't know.

[Crissle West]

So you mean to tell me that we're gonna sit here with straight American faces and say, here is the super villain from MTV's the Hills. He would like to be the mayor of your city?

[Kid Fury]

No. It's a no.

[Crissle West]

No.

[Kid Fury]

Immediately. No. No.

[Crissle West]

Meanwhile, I got two calls this week for the other Karen Bass. And what's this other lady's name? She called me personally?

[Kid Fury]

Katie Porter. Oh, no. She's running for governor, right? Or.

[Crissle West]

No, no, no. Not Katie. Katie Porter. It was. What is her name? Ramon.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. Katie Porter's running for governor. I don't know who I've. But I've seen this Spencer Pratt shit, and I'm like, y' all cannot be for real.

[Crissle West]

Real.

[Kid Fury]

There's no way Spencer Pratt is. Is a viable candidate for mayor. Does Spencer Pratt do even one thing in a community sense? Does he, like, like, even one thing to show that he. To demonstrate some sort of knowledge of politics or anything to do with how to run a city? Anything. One thing.

[Crissle West]

Once you got to, like, knowledge of politics, I did okay, because community wise, I was gonna like, oh, maybe he's donated golf balls to his face.

[Kid Fury]

No.

[Crissle West]

Country club.

[Kid Fury]

No, I meant, like, community organized.

[Crissle West]

We all know.

[Kid Fury]

I meant, like, are you head of any sort of coalitions that go talk to politicians and try to get them to see, you know, your way of doing things? Like, do you do anything in that sense? Because I did see some people being like, well, Barack Obama. Blah, blah, blah. Barack Obama.

[Crissle West]

Well, Barack Obama.

[Kid Fury]

What the. Well, you remember Barack Obama ran for president without ever being, like, senator or governor or anything like that. So they were like, well, it's kind of the same thing. Like, you can't expect.

[Crissle West]

What?

[Kid Fury]

Which is right. First of all. First of all, Barack Obama wasn't on Road Rules. The fuck are y'? All? Barack Obama had the education and the experience in his life to, like, this man was a. Okay, so the fact that y' all are even comparing Barack Obama to Spencer Pratt is insane.

[Crissle West]

What are we talking about?

[Kid Fury]

The man who graduated from Harvard Law or whatever? Are you kidding? That's who y' all comparing to? The nigga from the hills?

[Crissle West]

The board of. The board of ridiculousness. I hate it if you bitches la.

[Kid Fury]

Y' all better not. Y' all better not.

[Crissle West]

Spencer and Hybe took a mayoral seat. I am leaving. I am leaving. I am. I am taking all of my Kendrick Lamar member. I'm tugging it tight and I'm getting on the first bitch smoking you bitches. I promise you. I'm leaving, cuz.

[Kid Fury]

That is ridiculous. No, it really.

[Crissle West]

You can't do this.

[Kid Fury]

It really.

[Crissle West]

And I know obviously registered Republican, although he claims he's not maga.

[Kid Fury]

Whatever, whatever.

[Crissle West]

But that and America's new trend of making reality TV stars prominent political figures. And then I'm sure he's gotten a shit ton of donations.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure.

[Crissle West]

I'm sure contributions to his. His campaign have been. Have been big. When it comes down to. When it comes down to clicking and checking off these ballots and. Bitch, Bitch, let me tell you something. I don't care about a Kiki. I don't care how indifferent or exhausted we may be. That is never gonna stop me from going down to the pole and putting my best foot forward. Because then what can I complain about if you bitches is

[Kid Fury]

y' all better not. Y' all just better not.

[Crissle West]

Man, all we know about this person is that he sucks. We've never. He's never even had like, a redemption arc on that program. I have never heard anything positive about this bitch since. And yet he is up on stage with real politicians arguing that he should be the mayor of one of the biggest, most bustling cities in the nation. And I. I promise you, I know that you had Arnold Schwarzenegger over here one time. Y' all been, you know, having a Kiki. I promise you I will be dipping. I can't take a Spencer. Spencer Pratt. There's no way having any sort of say there is over anything.

[Kid Fury]

No, no, no, no.

[Crissle West]

Close no to my living situation is enough for me. I promise you that I will roll some dice. I will do one of them. Well, you remember those things back in elementary school? Yes.

[Kid Fury]

Love those.

[Crissle West]

Have your friend. I will legitimately take a new place to live off of that. I can't. I can't.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, L.A. y' all cannot be serious with that, y'. All.

[Crissle West]

I can't. And listen, this will be the first year that I've really been dialing in the votes here, because usually I just stay voted. I. I've stayed registered in Florida.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Crissle West]

Because I always am like, okay, Florida need.

[Kid Fury]

All Florida needed. Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Well, at this point, with the past couple, I'm just like, listen, you gotta

[Kid Fury]

help out where you live. You gotta help out where you live at this point.

[Crissle West]

Let me just go over here where I'm at. Yeah, it seems like Ms. Floridian is gonna be red. Especially for a while now. Maybe they're gonna be. Maybe they're super tired for this next go round. Okay, at least primary or something. Because I think a couple of them are realizing like, oh, I'm Cuban and an immigrant and these people don't actually like me maybe, or you know, I am a bespeckled white swamp person and these people were never going to actually respect me or want me anywhere near them. You know what that reminds me of? I'm selling my ap. Because now you broke bitches feel like you can have an AP too.

[Kid Fury]

Ew.

[Crissle West]

Yeah, like that's this administration. Please give me all of your money. And isn't so nice that I look at you and you come to the shows and you scream for me? Aren't we all on the same page? Oh, wait, you want health care and milk? Oh, no, go fuck yourself. You can't have any of my things.

[Kid Fury]

Did you see that clip of Trump when a reporter was like, you know, to what extent are Americans financial situations impacting, you know, this deal with Iran? So somebody asked him like, you know, things are tough for Americans. Is that motivating you to get a deal done? And he was like, not even a little bit. What? He said, my number one concern is that Iran cannot have nuclear weapons. I do not think about Americans financial situation at all. That don't mean nothing to me. I said, oh, cause gas is $5 a gallon, baby. Like you might want to think about it. The people are not doing well. This bitch. But you know, the mom Dani Mandani campaign, when he was running for mayor, they actually did an ad or video that said, I know a lot of you moved here and that's great. And you are like, I'm from the South. I'm a stay registered to vote in the South. I'm gonna go home or vote absentee or whatever. But New York is not as solidly blue as you think it is. And we can, we can absolutely use your votes if you believe in what we have to say. So here's the deadline for you to go ahead and change that voter registration to New York, because we need you. And it's like, yeah, that's an important message. Like, yes, we look at New York City as like, it's always gonna be blue, but if Staten island exists, we got these weird pockets of conservative bullshit out here too. And it's not always an overwhelm. Like you just can't count it always being that way. Like somebody has to vote is the thing.

[Crissle West]

So right. And you know who will.

[Kid Fury]

And the Republicans show up. Heat stroke outside.

[Crissle West]

Thank you.

[Kid Fury]

They will do it. So they were like, we understand, you know, you registered in Virginia, but please change that, because we need you. And I think a lot of people did. So. Yeah, yeah. That y' all cannot.

[Crissle West]

That is Neithya Raman or Raman, who. I think that's who called me. Oh, Mayor o'.

[Kid Fury]

Connor. Oh, she called you personally. Oh, work. Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Yeah. I couldn't believe it wasn't like, AR or something.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

She's like, oh, you donated such and such to the campaign, which I remember doing. But, yeah, I remembered when she reminded me. Reminded me, and she was like, what are. What's something that's. You're, like, the most passionate about, that you want to see change in. In Los Angeles, we had a conversation about.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, I love that. Yeah.

[Crissle West]

And she was like, what's something that you would really like? How would you like to see it dealt with? Well, I said, taxing the incredibly wealthy that live here and have all of the money to do things about that. She was like, sounds like we're on the same page. I'm pretty sure that's what called me this morning.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

So, yeah, I just wanted to say Los Angeles. Completely agree. Know, a lot of y' all have maybe moved here recently or been here for a while, maybe. I don't know what you're doing with your registration, but, girl, they're trying to put someone from the fucking Challenge.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

In the mayor's office here, where you, like, buy milk and eggs and water and try to walk your dog.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

I would not do that. So I will be voting for that to not happen.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

I would like for you to do the same, because, my girl, I might leave the country at that point. Okay. So this dead man is the president? Cause he's dead.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Yeah, he's dead. The rot is spreading. The blight, really gross. Spreading all over his body, his neck. He's.

[Kid Fury]

Yuck.

[Crissle West]

They shouldn't even be allowed to show that. Like a patch or something like Scrooge. Gross. Like, when I want to watch a conjuring or terrify, I don't want to watch horror and gore. I do that on my own time.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

And I know that it's not real. Right. I don't want to see those horrors in real life.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crissle West]

Falling asleep saying, oh, yeah, people's right to have food. It's. He's. He's. He's not here. Yeah, but he is. And that's the problem that he is.

[Kid Fury]

Right, right.

[Crissle West]

Well, that's it.

[Kid Fury]

Well, good luck, Mom. Donnie actually just balanced our budget by taxing the extremely wealthy who live here. It works, actually. Didn't have to cut. No social services, didn't have to take school lunches away from kids or whatever. You just text and it was like.

[Crissle West]

It's almost like it's possible.

[Kid Fury]

And they're not. They. If they. And if they leave New York, guess where they're going? La. They're not going to the middle of the fucking country. Like, they just. They don't want to live there. And Mom, Donnie knew it. These are. He was like, we're gonna tax you hoes on the property that you buy in New York City that you don't actually live in.

[Crissle West]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Not even your primary home. This is like an extra tax on the houses that y' all buy up for the fun of it. And they said, okay, Mr. Mayor, here's your money. 12 billion dollar deficit. He was like, oh, it's actually pretty easy when you just take money from the wealthy. Yeah, that's. It's, it's actually right there.

[Crissle West]

That's why they were quaking over that man and fake, fake mispronouncing his name and all that. They knew this day was coming and that people, not just across New York, people across the country would go, oh, this works.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

And why, why can't we also, why

[Kid Fury]

are we letting the wealthy hoard all this money y' all are allowing? They're doing what they're allowed to do. They are allowed to hoard more money than them or their great grandchildren could ever spend in entire lifetimes.

[Crissle West]

Why I shouldn't be riding by MacArthur Park. And it is like a community.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

Of a culture even. Of people who don't have a home, aren't even, you know, barely scratching and surviving on the street because people treat them like shit.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crissle West]

And then you have all these incredibly wealthy people, like you just said, who have places they don't even live in.

[Kid Fury]

Yep, yep.

[Crissle West]

Just half for the fuck of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

We're actually gonna go ahead and tax ya. We're just gonna, we're gonna do it because you have more than enough.

[Crissle West]

Way more than enough.

[Kid Fury]

And there are people working full time and living on the street.

[Crissle West]

So you can't enter the Mega Yacht Competition World Expo or whatever this year.

[Kid Fury]

You'll have to wait till next season, unfortunately. And you'll have to be.

[Crissle West]

Or never in the.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, you'll just have to have a luxury yacht instead of a mega, ultra, super high end yacht.

[Crissle West]

Just a 12 man crew instead of a 30. I hate these. Me too.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, my God. Anyway, for Trump to get on camera and be like, I don't give a about American's financial situation. I don't know what you are going through. That's none of my business. You're the president.

[Crissle West]

Anyway, I think he might, it might be one of those things where like, when it's all said and done, the front of his face just like pops open and there's a little green man.

[Kid Fury]

Like, I can't believe y' all fell for this.

[Crissle West]

Right? Like, damn, y' all stupid. Anyway, the rest of my homies on the way. That will be. I know what's happening. DJs a mystery. Spencer Pratt is running for office and people are taking it seriously.

[Kid Fury]

I just said la. Y' all are not for real with this. Y' all really cannot be.

[Crissle West]

But his website is like mayorpratt.org or something.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, okay. All right. That's not real. You know what else isn't real? Cheyenne Bryant's education. Well, that lady went on the Breakfast Club to talk about how everybody has been dragging her for not actually having a PhD. And so Lauren LaRosa asked her about it. She was like, it's actually very simple. And then she launched into an explanation that was not at all simple. School. And, and said, well, you know, I went to this school, Argosy or whatever. I don't. I've never heard of it. I think it's one of those for profit universities that ended up closing some years ago. And she said that she paid for this program, completed the program, and then when she was applying for a job at a law school, she had to get her transcripts, but the school had closed. And the third party that they do transcripts through said that they only held onto the records for two years. So she can't get her transcripts to prove all this. And her dissertation that everybody with a PhD does and that are published online regardless of the status of your school, that is just, I don't know, mysteriously not there somehow. And. And so she contacted somebody at the school asking for a full. Or something about a full refund came up. And she said, well, we. She said that they told her that she could have a full refund of the money she paid for her doctorial. She said doctorial program. And. But if they gave her a full refund that she wouldn't be able to claim any credit for any of the classes that she took and all this. And it's like you gave this whole convoluted bullshit explanation when anybody with a PhD would have said, yes, I completed my PhD. I defended my dissertation on such and such date. And I am. I have a PhD. I am a PhD holder. I am that person. You did everything but that. Because you don't have a PhD. I don't doubt that this for profit university admitted you to a program and you maybe even took some classes. Now I've seen rumors that you were kicked out of the program for plagiarism. I don't know whether that's true, but I know that Everybody with a PhD knows how to say doctoral. I know that they don't call it doctoral because that isn't what it is. Maybe at one point you were a PhD student. I don't believe you were ever a PhD candidate. You certainly don't have one. Wearing a blingy chain that says Doc does not make you a doctor. And at this point I actually have doubts about whether you've even completed your master's because on your website you only claim like a bachelor's degree that you don't you. You're very smart about not putting certain things in writing.

[Crissle West]

Oh my God. I know who you're talking about.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Crissle West]

And I'm not shocked.

[Kid Fury]

She. This has been going on and you know, it maybe has just been a bunch of, of, you know, the academic going back and forth about it. I've been laughing with Dr. Raquel about it for a while now because it's just like, damn, girl, if you had a PhD, you could just flat out say, yes, I completed my PhD on such and such date. Here's a link to my dissertation. And yes, I have my, like this whole. The, the school is shut down and they don't have the records no more is bullshit. You know how far back I had to go when I was applying to grad school school, I had to go get transcripts from all of the universities that I had attended before, including community college. I had to get my high school transcript. All of that is decades old at this point and it is all still very much in existence. Parchment is still in existence. And if you go on the comments of that Breakfast Club video, people are saying, yeah, I too went to Argosy and I just went online and got my transcripts. You're full of. You are full of shit. You can't prove that you have a PhD because you don't have one. Like, just say it. No, I did not complete my PhD, but I call myself Dr. Bryant because it makes me feel special and important.

[Crissle West]

Right? Academics Call himself a dj. Just saying.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, at this point, I truly doubt that she even has a master's degree. But. But to those of you who are bringing my name into this for whatever reason. Oh, sweetie, I'm never uploading my. My. First of all, my transcript says that my degree was conferred. My degree is hanging up on my wall. I'm looking at it right now. I'll never upload those for your satisfaction. It will never be that serious to me. However, I know if you talking about, oh, Cheyenne, Brian must have went to the same school Crystal did. You did not pay any attention to my school journey at all, baby, because school whipped my ass.

[Crissle West]

Highly documented.

[Kid Fury]

And I was right here on this podcast every week talking about the way school was beating my ass. You think I came up with that out of nowhere? I appreciate the people who have been defending me. I appreciate the others, the PhDs who are like, girl, the growth that I have witnessed in you on that program over the years, you absolutely completed that program. You absolutely. The. The things you talk about as far as, like, your time as an intern and working with clients and all that. Like, we fully believe you. Like, how don't bring me.

[Crissle West]

Why would you make that up? And what the fuck does that have to do with Cheyenne Bryer?

[Kid Fury]

But also just one crumb of common sense.

[Crissle West]

Sense.

[Kid Fury]

I'm not using my degree in a professional way at all. I have no reason to lie about it. I'm not selling y' all nothing. I'm not offering 400 sessions to sit down and get life coaching from Crystal. None of that shit. None of it. I'm not using that degree in any sort of way. And I've been clear about not pursuing licensure yet, although I reserve the right to change my mind about that. But I've been clear about that, so I. Bringing my name into it for what? For what?

[Crissle West]

Those people who don't like you.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, well, do better than this. Cause, bitch. Lying about a degree that I don't even use in my professional life would be ridiculous. The amount of research I would have to do to gradually grow and change and evolve the way I have on the. This program over the years. The. If I was going to put that much effort into acting, first of all, somebody on Threads was like, you would be Viola Davis if you pulled that off. First of all, right? I'm in the wrong goddamn industry if I managed to act so well in the process of getting this degree that y' all thought I really had one. And the whole time I was just lying like I, I, I need to be on set.

[Crissle West]

I guess the rest of us in on it or we just believe you.

[Kid Fury]

You think everybody came to my graduation party just to fuck with y'? All? Y' all think that was AI? You think I went online and bought a cord and a hood and a, and a fucking gown and cap? And you think I with the class of 2026. 2026 Tassel and invitations? You think I did all that for the plot?

[Crissle West]

I'm kind of cunt.

[Kid Fury]

That was to then turn around and launch an advice podcast that is free and available for free.

[Crissle West]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

I'm not even selling anything to do with mental health. Anything. Don't bring my name into her scamming ass. Bullshit. That bitch is lying to y' all again. People with the letters will simply and clearly say that people who are trying not to get sued or investigated by law enforcement, they will dance around it and put a bunch of word salad into and not say it clearly. Yeah, she was very intentional with her words. And she very intentionally did not say, yes, I completed my PhD. She said she completed the program. That does not mean. Well, which I mean, it could be a, that could be a lie. But it's not the same as, I have completed my PhD. I hold a PhD because you know you don't. Cuz you know you don't, girl. So this. All this to my doc squad. And I'm just going to address this once. And I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know what that means. But if you just dedicated to not liking me, then just don't like me. But I'm not even talking to y'. All. I'm talking to my supporters. Here is the simple answer. A bunch of bullshit that don't make no sense and boils down to, no, I don't have no goddamn PhD.

[Crissle West]

I was gonna ask, like, what is even the purpose of lying about some that is easily verifiable or yeah, yeah, you know what I mean?

[Kid Fury]

It is.

[Crissle West]

And then also it is people who did lose their minds working incredibly hard to get these things wouldn't be like, oh, bitch, now wait, right?

[Kid Fury]

Cause it's too much work. It's too much. I'm going to war behind a master's degree because I know how much fucking work the master's degree was. I'm not shocked that the girlies with PhDs are like, hold on just one goddamn minute, if you will.

[Crissle West]

I'm like, why would you lie about that? But I guess it like to sell her Service. I figure she does sell stuff.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, she sells herself. You know, she's a mental health influencer. That's what you are. And you put the doc on it to give yourself some legitimacy. I guess you want Teen Mom a long ass time ago. And you go around to these nigga casts, and you. And you talk to black men in a way that makes them feel good. And your titties are out, so they feel even better. But, girl, you listen. You can't slick a can of oil. The people who have actually done the work see right through this bullshit.

[Crissle West]

I only know of her from acting a fool on Basketball Wives.

[Kid Fury]

See, I didn't even know she was on that. I didn't even know she was on that. But.

[Crissle West]

And I mean, parallels, girl. Like, is that shocking, Right?

[Kid Fury]

Right? So just stop fucking playing with us, girl. Just. Excuse me. Just stop fucking playing with us. You can go ahead and say, no, I do not have my PhD. I call myself doctor because I feel like it lends a certain. The people assume that I'm smart when they hear Dr. Bryant, but I. Dr. Phil, but I don't have it. And, you know, when I was a student, my very first client would call me Doc, and I was like, oh, you know, I'm not. I have a master's degree. I don't have a PhD. And then my next client called me Doc, and I saw. So I brought it up to my supervisor. I was like, they keep calling me Doc. And she was like, it's a cultural thing. You're their therapist, so they just call you Doc casually. But, you know, all you have to do is say, I'm an intern, blah, blah, you know, and. And leave it at that. But don't take, like, those of us who have done this work, take it seriously. That's how I know you full of shit. Cause you over here playing with it, talking about you were counseling a girl who had been assaulted, and at the end of the first session, you asked her, could you give her a hug? Yeah, I don't think you went to grad school. I do not think you went to grad school. I don't know what Dr. Phil is, but I.

[Crissle West]

He actually is a doctor.

[Kid Fury]

I don't think Cheyenne Bryant even completed a master's degree. Not in counseling. She's not in clinical. No, no. She. No, there is no way you worked with clients and you. Okay, all right. I'm letting it go because I'm getting pissed off. And somebody actually said, crystal, this is rage bait. They're trying to piss you off. Well, you got me. You got me, girl. Y' all got me with that one. Because yeah, I take it seriously. I always have.

[Crissle West]

Imagine not taking that seriously.

[Kid Fury]

It's too many bitches.

[Crissle West]

I mean, after going through it. Right, right.

[Kid Fury]

It's too many bitches that don't. Right. That's why we on your ass. The people like, oh, well, why does it even matter what she calls herself? Bitch? Because the difference between her and somebody who has been to school and completed the licensure process, which is a whole nother pain in the ass, is. It is a. It is a. An ocean's width of difference between a bachelor's degree in psychology and being a licensed psychologist with a PhD or even a Psy D. Or an EDD. Like any. Any terminal degree. Okay.

[Crissle West]

What she's doing is just like, you know, the still waters of maybe the later years in the Atlantic. Y' all had them giant waves from interstellar that they thought were mountains at first. First like, oh, we. We have to just go down that way to. Towards the mountains. Yeah, mountains, those are waves. Interstellar spoiler. That's what the fuck these motherfuckers are dealing with. So forgive them for being like, bitch, show your work.

[Kid Fury]

Literally show your goddamn work. Because you was not in the trenches, bitch. You was not with us shooting in the gym.

[Crissle West]

Never.

[Kid Fury]

And you don't get to claim it. You just notice. So take that doctor right out your going around selling books, lying to people, charging people 350 to sit on a zoom with you and get. It'll be all right. Ask God about it or whatever kind of you be saying. God only knows. Because you're not educated, you're not licensed, you're not educated. You do not have the education nor the license.

[Crissle West]

Again, I think I don't see the point in the lie because aren't there several license life coaches that don't call themselves doctors, that have lots of clients and make lots of money?

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, but you know, you have to be honest about that up front. When you start out with the lie about being a doctor, you have to commit to it.

[Crissle West]

But I don't feel like that stops many life coaches from making a shit ton of money selling books, being famous, getting clients.

[Kid Fury]

But see, Cheyenne Bryant has been around a long time. Lie. So you committed to the lie early.

[Crissle West]

Damn.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. And you just. There's no taking back seats. Damn. Oh, she sucks. You don't have to lie to kick it. Most people don't even have a bachelor's degree, much less a PhD. You don't have to lie to kick it. Jesus Christ.

[Crissle West]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, okay, I'm done. I'm done, I'm done. I was gonna talk about James Charles, but that's too deep into white people business.

[Crissle West]

I don't know who that is.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, Amy, you know, God is so good. So that is going to wrap up this week's episode of the Read. Check us out on social media at. This is the Read. Our website is. This is the read.com. thank you, Ari Kari, for being my guest on this week's episode of Crystal's Couch. You can what? Yes, she was. Was delightful, that girl. She. She just came in. We had a good time. So thank you so much doll. Crystal Couch on social media for all the links and etc. What about you?

[Crissle West]

Where should I first of all shout out to? I'll just do a quick sports short.

[Kid Fury]

It.

[Crissle West]

Oh, oh Lord, I saw your. Okay. See Thunder dragging it to the very, very end of the line.

[Kid Fury]

We did.

[Crissle West]

Boy, LeBron James and his, his old bones were up there. Just. I mean he did his carrying things. Carrying the things for all of these wet behind the ears youngsters that I've heard are likely leading the charges is in terms of their team being like the baddest basketball team out is what I've been told. Just from my sports inner circles. I'm not trying to blow smoke up your ass because why would I do that?

[Kid Fury]

Right?

[Crissle West]

Somebody told you that. But yeah, yeah, the OKC funders have been tearing it up and I was present to watch the fourth quarter of that game.

[Kid Fury]

You went to the game?

[Crissle West]

No, I watched it.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, I thought you meant you went like why would you go oh, present.

[Crissle West]

Cause I said I was present to see it. Just whatever. I was watching the fourth quarter and it was delightful. It was very exciting.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, it was. Actually the fourth quarter was pretty good. Lakers almost pulled it off.

[Crissle West]

Almost. Guess what?

[Kid Fury]

It does not another sweep for them boys. How? I mean I'm not getting too excited child. Cuz it looked like the spurs are waiting on us and they have had our number all season so we will see.

[Crissle West]

Well, basketball also I have a podcast called Furious Thoughts. Shout out to Hemlock Springs for being on the latest episode. Please go to YouTube.com kid furytv to check that out. You can also go to instagram.com kid fury for all the links. Also, I will be performing standup comedy in Los Angeles on June 3rd to celebrate 20 years of kid Fury. You can get tickets for that also in my Instagram bio. Would love to see you there. I'm going to be talking all kinds of shit and being ghetto. So come hang out more to reveal in the coming weeks. And Spencer Pratt is a harsh 40 Cody too.

[Kid Fury]

That is harsh.

[Crissle West]

That is look like Trump. Damn near damn. Why would you ever do that? Anyway, I'm finished. That's it.

[Kid Fury]

All right, y' all take care of yourselves. We will see you next week.

[Crissle West]

Your little one grew three inches overnight. Adorable. Also expensive. Sell their pint sized pieces on Depop

[Kid Fury]

and list them in minutes with no

[Crissle West]

selling fees because somewhere a dad refuses to pay full price for the clothes his kids will outgrow tomorrow. And he's ready to buy your son's entire wardrobe right now.

[Kid Fury]

Consider your future growth Bird budget secured.

[Crissle West]

Start selling on Depop where taste recognizes taste. Payment processing fees and boosting fees still apply. See website for details. Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this ad for your morning commute to wake you up, which could help your driving. Science says that stimulating the brain increases alertness. So here's a pop. How many months have 28 days? What gets wetter as it dries? What has keys but can't open? Locks? If you don't want to hear the answers, turn off this Liberty Mutual ad now.

[Kid Fury]

Now.

[Crissle West]

12 months. A towel. Piano. Enjoy being fully alert.

[Kid Fury]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.