Baby, This Ain't It...

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Read – "Baby, This Ain't It..."
Release Date: April 3, 2025
Hosted by Kid Fury and Crissle

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Introduction

In the April 3, 2025 episode of The Read, hosts Kid Fury and Crissle dive into a diverse array of topics that blend humor, insightful commentary, and unabashed honesty. From celebrating Black excellence in entertainment to dissecting controversial media phenomena, the episode covers everything from celebrity scandals to heartfelt listener letters seeking advice. Skipping over the usual advertisements and intros, this summary encapsulates the key discussions, notable quotes, and the dynamic interplay between the hosts, making it accessible for those who haven't tuned in.

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1. Black Excellence in Entertainment

The episode opens with a spotlight on remarkable achievements within the Black community, highlighting influential figures making significant strides in their fields.

• Cheney Ogumike's Comedy Series "The W"

  Crissle introduces two-time WNBA All-Star Cheney Ogumike's latest venture: a new comedy series titled The W. This marks the first scripted television show centered on the WNBA, drawing inspiration from Ogumike's personal journey within the league.

  Notable Quote:
  Crissle [01:31]: “This will be the first scripted television show about the WNBA and is loosely inspired by Cheney's own journey in it.”

• Phylicia Rashad's Directorial Debut on Broadway

  The hosts congratulate Phylicia Rashad on her directorial debut with the Broadway play Purp, penned by Brandon Jacobs Jenkins, a Pulitzer Prize finalist and Tony Award winner. The play features Tony winner Carrie Young and stars alongside Denzel Washington and Halle Berry.

  Notable Quote:
  Crissle [02:48]: “Tony winner Carrie Young is in the cast. Yeah, there's another one for you to go see alongside Denzel Washington and Halle Berry.”

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2. Hot Box: Controversial Shows on Netflix

In the "Hot Box" segment, Fury and Crissle tackle the controversial introduction of YouTube's Pop the Balloon onto Netflix’s streaming platform.

• Critique of "Pop the Balloon"

  The hosts express their disdain for the show's live streaming format and content, which they perceive as cruel and unengaging. Crissle humorously speculates on a possible horror-comedy reimagining of the show, blending dark humor with the existing format.

  Notable Quotes:
  Crissle [04:38]: “I don't like Pop the Balloon. I have watched it.”
  Crissle [06:39]: “It could be like a horror comedy where the balloon poppers become the killers.”

Section Highlights:

• Paula questions the necessity of the show being live.
• Crissle and Paula discuss potential negative influences of the show's content.

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3. Celebrity News: Sean Kingston's Fraud Conviction & Netflix’s "A Different World" Pilot

The hosts shift focus to recent celebrity news, delivering updates with their characteristic blend of humor and concern.

• Sean Kingston and Mother's Conviction

  Sean Kingston and his mother were found guilty of luxury fraud, involving conspiracy to commit wire fraud. They were accused of obtaining high-end items like luxury SUVs and watches through fake wire transfer receipts.

  Notable Quotes:
  Crystal [08:56]: “Sean Kingston and his mom guilty of luxury fraud scheme...each charge carries a maximum sentence of 20 years.”
  Paula [09:34]: “That's a lot. Oh, send it.”

• Netflix’s Pilot Order for "A Different World"

  The discussion turns to Netflix ordering a pilot for a revival of A Different World. The hosts express both excitement and skepticism, pondering the inclusion of original cast members and the potential impact on the legacy of the original series.

  Notable Quotes:
  Crissle [12:05]: “Netflix has ordered a pilot, which means they're probably moving forward with developing the new series.”
  Paula [14:00]: “I'm hoping some other players from the original cast can join to maintain authenticity.”

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4. Listener Letters: Relationship and Parenting Advice

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to addressing listener letters, offering advice on complex personal issues.

• Helen's Dilemma: Infidelity and Friendship

  Helen grapples with whether to reveal her husband's infidelity involving her best friend Shay. Despite her misandrist stance, the moral quandary leaves her conflicted.

  Notable Quotes:
  Crystal [34:21]: “I would go to husband or to the adulterer... I'm giving you 48 hours to tell your friend.”
  Paula [35:39]: “I caution against agreeing to keep something private when you don’t know if that’s what you truly want.”

• Kara's Parenting Conflict: Discipline Styles

  Kara seeks advice on handling differing parenting styles with a long-time friend, particularly regarding the use of physical punishment versus emotional regulation.

  Notable Quotes:
  Crissle [41:27]: “I don’t believe in avoiding difficult conversations because they don’t make the difficulties go away.”
  Paula [44:14]: “You're absolutely right; toddlers need guidance and boundaries.”

• Falana's Relationship Concerns: Sexual Frequency

  Falana is troubled by her boyfriend's decreased desire for sex, seeking methods to rekindle their intimate relationship without feeling anxious about her self-worth.

  Notable Quotes:
  Crystal [52:48]: “He can talk to a sex therapist...address the underlying issues directly with your partner.”
  Paula [56:27]: “Communication is key, and you deserve to feel fulfilled in your relationship.”

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5. Controversial Segment: Kiki Palmer's Podcast with Jonathan Majors

A heated segment emerges as Paula and Crystal critique Kiki Palmer's decision to host Jonathan Majors on her podcast, despite his convictions for harassment and assault.

• Hosts' Criticism

  The hosts express profound disappointment and frustration, questioning Palmer's judgment and the message it sends regarding accountability and support for abusers.

  Notable Quotes:
  Paula [53:04]: “I do not support people who abuse others like this.”
  Crystal [61:37]: “I do not understand how you can host someone guilty of assault and harassment.”

• Back-and-Forth Rant

  The conversation devolves into a passionate rant, highlighting the inconsistency and perceived insensitivity of Palmer’s actions in light of her own experiences with domestic abuse.

  Notable Quotes:
  Paula [75:09]: “How could you...? Really, you’re helping him revitalize his career.”
  Crystal [81:40]: “He is simply guilty. And I don't understand...”

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6. Video Game Commentary: Assassin's Creed Shadows

Towards the episode’s conclusion, Crissle revisits her previous critique of the video game Assassin's Creed Shadows, offering a more balanced perspective after further gameplay.

• Balanced Review

  While maintaining her criticisms regarding the game's pacing and story, Crissle acknowledges enjoyable elements like the meditation mini-game and the ability to adopt pets within the game.

  Notable Quotes:
  Crissle [64:59]: “I might have been harsher than necessary, but there are redeeming features like the calming mini-game.”
  Paula [64:59]: “I really enjoyed Junjiro’s character development despite the game’s flaws.”

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Conclusion

In "Baby, This Ain't It...", The Read delivers a multifaceted episode that traverses the spectrum of pop culture, personal dilemmas, and societal critiques. Kid Fury and Crissle engage listeners with their trademark blend of humor and candidness, providing insightful commentary on both celebratory achievements and controversial decisions within the entertainment industry. The episode's rich discussions and heartfelt advice segments underscore the podcast's commitment to addressing the complexities of modern life with wit and depth.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Crissle [06:39]: “It could be like Happy Death Day. It could be like the blackening.”
• Crystal [34:21]: “I am going to do it. It's gross. It's horrible.”
• Paula [35:39]: “I caution against agreeing to keep something private when you really don't know for sure that’s what you want to do.”
• Crissle [41:27]: “I don’t believe in avoiding difficult conversations because they don’t make the difficulties go away.”
• Crystal [52:48]: “He can talk to a sex therapist...address the underlying issues directly with your partner.”
• Paula [53:04]: “I do not support people who abuse others like this.”
• Crystal [61:37]: “I do not understand how you can host someone guilty of assault and harassment.”
• Paula [75:09]: “How could you...? Really, you’re helping him revitalize his career.”

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of The Read episode, highlighting key discussions, including significant quotes and their timestamps, while ensuring a natural flow for those who haven't listened.

Transcript

[Kif Fury]

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[Crystal]

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[Kif Fury]

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[Crystal]

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[Paula J. Parker]

Happy day, happy day.

[Crystal]

Happy hello niggas and friends. Welcome back to the Read. I am Paula J. Parker in don't be a menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the hood.

[Paula J. Parker]

And I am Cory Booker and this is the Read. Thanks for coming back.

[Crystal]

Thank you for coming back. Indeed. Let's begin this week's podcast with something we call Black excellence. Starting with two time WNBA all star Cheney Ogumike, who is developing a new comedy series called the W about the wnba. This will be the first scripted television show about the WNBA and is loosely inspired by Cheney's own journey in it.

[Paula J. Parker]

Fun.

[Crystal]

She was drafted to the Sons of Kinect, I cut as a first round pick in the draft of 2014 and was later traded to the Sparks of Los Angeles in 2019. The show will be the first project that is going to be produced under her victorious banner of entertainment.

[Paula J. Parker]

Hmm. Okay, I just looked.

[Crystal]

Congratulations.

[Paula J. Parker]

It does look center around. It's centered around an in demand rookie WNBA player and her novice agent as they navigate the chaotic world of women's professional basketball. Okay, I was wondering because a comedy about the WNBA could go in a lot of different directions, but that makes sense. And yeah, congrats Cheney. Can't wait to see it.

[Crystal]

Yeah, it's probably gonna be really good. Also, Phylicia Rashad has made her directorial debut on Broadway with Purp, a play written by Brandon Jacobs Jenkins, Pulitzer Prize finalist and Tony Award winner. It will begin. Oh, wait, next year it's going to begin its previews. Oh, previews began on February 25th. I think it just started.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And it runs through July. July 6th.

[Paula J. Parker]

Wonderful. Congrats.

[Crystal]

Tony winner Carrie Young is in the cast. Yeah, there's another one for you to go see alongside Denzel Washington and Hathello.

[Paula J. Parker]

Good luck. Good luck to Me trying to get tickets for that because.

[Crystal]

Oh yeah, I forgot.

[Paula J. Parker]

It's like you have to pretty bad. But not shocked. You know, the Denzel deserves. So yeah. Go, go, Ms. Felicia.

[Crystal]

Okay, let's get into the hot box. I'll be honest, I don't know what the is going on. Let's see YouTube. YouTube's pop of the Balloon is coming to Netflix.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, no.

[Crystal]

I have. Okay. Starting April 10, Netflix will stream Pop the Lo Pop the Balloon lot live on Netflix. Live. Why does it have to be live?

[Paula J. Parker]

Why does it have to be live? That's. I don't understand that. But I don't like Pop the Balloon. I. I don't like that show. I've watched it.

[Crystal]

I've never watched it.

[Paula J. Parker]

I've seen it a few times. It's the point seems to be cruelty. So I just am not really interested. I would rather watch a. There's this naked dating show that I'm not even sure if they still do new episodes of. But you basically, you've seen it. The British one. Yeah, that show's great. I would rather look at that. Pop the Balloon is just really not for me. It's just kind of like. It's just mean. Like. Yeah, I've never seen and maybe it's just the mean clips that go viral, but I've never seen like a respectful or even kind episode of that show.

[Crystal]

I don't even. Episode is nice. I. I don't have. Yvonne Orgy is going to be the host of it. That's interesting. I don't really have an opinion on Pop the Bloom because I've only ever seen like tiny clips of it. And through is through what I understand the concept to be. I have no interest. Like, I don't. This could be interesting if it was like a dark comedy. This was like a black comedy scripted thing called Pop or Balloon or Pop the Balloon. And it was about like, I don't know, some individual who got all popped balloons because I guess that's bad. And then it ends up being a slasher comedy where they go kill everybody popped balloons, start dying one by one, and it's like, who got their balloon popped? That's killing all of these people. And then you find out the killer is one of the balloon poppers.

[Paula J. Parker]

One of the balloon poppers or somebody who got their balloon popped.

[Crystal]

One of the balloon poppers is actually the killer.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, well.

[Crystal]

Because if it's like they're killing the people, the balloon poppers are the ones who are the victims and they're dying one by one.

[Paula J. Parker]

So everybody who rejected this man or woman, whoever, this person. Okay, yeah. So they go kill everybody.

[Crystal]

They are the ones who end up getting killed. No, the ones who popped the balloons. Yes, the one. They go kill the people who reject them. But then you find out it's not one of the people who got rejected. It's one of the rejectees who is the niece of another person who got their balloon popped and is taking revenge because that person was. Hello, excuse me. I am working so that both of us can make money, you ignorant, ungrateful bitch. Anyway, as I was saying. So then what happens is that they start killing because they had a family member who was on it, and they were really embarrassed and bullied and humiliated for it. And so they've come to seek vengeance. Death. Vengeance.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay.

[Crystal]

Blood vengeance.

[Paula J. Parker]

All right. I mean, it's a little convoluted, but it could work.

[Crystal]

It isn't convoluted at all. It's just a scream. Know what you did last? Urban legend?

[Paula J. Parker]

I mean, sure, whatever you say. I'm not. I probably wouldn't watch that. It sounds horrific, but.

[Crystal]

Yeah, but it would be like. Oh, well, you don't watch anything.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah, I don't like scary things, so.

[Crystal]

But it would be a horror comedy. It wouldn't be scary scary. It would be like Happy Death day. It would be like hard eyes. It would be like the blackening. It could be like that.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay.

[Crystal]

Or it's like, funny because it's fucking Pop the balloon.

[Paula J. Parker]

Well, something like that.

[Crystal]

That'd be scary. For real.

[Paula J. Parker]

I might be able to laugh at. But, yeah, I don't really love Pop the balloon on YouTube, so I don't think I'm gonna love it on Netflix either.

[Crystal]

Sean Kingston and his mother have been found guilty of everything. A federal judge found Sean Kingston and his mom guilty in their luxury fraud scheme trail trial. They were found guilty of one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud and four counts of wire fraud. The two would obtain high end items like a luxury SUV and watches by creating fake wire transfer receipt. Okay.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yikes.

[Crystal]

Each charge carries a maximum sentence of 20 years. So each charge.

[Paula J. Parker]

That's a lot. Oh, send it. And sentencing is until July. Damn. So you got. You got to be sick till July.

[Crystal]

Years.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, my God. Oh, we. I would just sentence me now. Girl, why are we waiting till July.

[Crystal]

So I can go get plastered beyond living recognition.

[Paula J. Parker]

Right? Because this is five. Yeah, yeah. No, thank you. Right? It says. I mean, y'all just boss shit. A car, jewelry, watches, a tv. This was. Was that worth A hundred years in prison, like. No, surely y'all won't get that, but I don't know, maybe they had, you know, they got a taste of the good life. He had that one really popular song, that Beautiful Girl song.

[Crystal]

I feel like he had one and a half.

[Paula J. Parker]

What's the other one?

[Crystal]

Wait, which one did you say?

[Paula J. Parker]

The Beautiful Girl.

[Crystal]

Oh, wait, that's the only one I was thinking about.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay, Cedar, So that's exactly what you get now, then.

[Crystal]

No, Sean Kingston has, like, one other song. Half of another.

[Paula J. Parker]

I mean, he's Jamaica. You should know.

[Crystal]

Listen. Barely.

[Paula J. Parker]

And he's barely Jamaican. Or you barely know. Okay.

[Crystal]

Both of these individual things at the same time of life.

[Paula J. Parker]

Wonderful.

[Crystal]

Take. No, I don't know that song. I don't know that song either. I don't know that song. Wait, no, there's one other song. He has, like, two singles. Beautiful Girls was like, the one. And then he had one that just, like, Almost Me Love Take you that. No, Okay, I think you're correct.

[Paula J. Parker]

Right, Right. So they had, you know, I don't know. There was that one huge song, and I guess they really enjoyed whatever royalties and money were paid out from that one song. And they said they are not gonna let the party stop. But yikes. Because if you even get 20 years, that can't feel worth it. I mean, you. You looking at a hundred, but two wouldn't. I feel like two months don't even sound. I think I'd rather be porn free.

[Crystal]

I just truly would. I just truly would. But you didn't even want to just, like, boost so that you could, you know, have an apple a day, luxury SUVs and watches or whatever the fuck.

[Paula J. Parker]

Right?

[Crystal]

God bless. Here we go. Talking about a different world. Coming back again. Didn't.

[Paula J. Parker]

Is it ready? Cause I know they announced this a while ago.

[Crystal]

I know Maybe they announced, like, the intention of it and now it's taken. Like, I think maybe this is the next step. It's got a pilot order from Netflix, I think. Yeah, Netflix has A Different World on it now.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Like the original.

[Paula J. Parker]

In preparation for this, I thought.

[Crystal]

I guess so. Yeah. You probably won't see. Okay, I understand what you're going through. Come here. No, you're not. That's the point. That was the come over here portion, actually. I feel like you're just going to make it worse now because you're not ready to stop. You're just going to do it into the microphone. I just made a huge mistake. Are you okay? They're here to fix the Lights. So you're gonna have to just build a bridge, sis. Okay. Anyhow. Yeah. So it seems Netflix has ordered a pilot, which means they're probably. I mean, I don't know, maybe we'll see this in like a year or so. I'm just like, won't it just be grown ish?

[Paula J. Parker]

Well, I mean, that's really a grown ish at a hbcu.

[Crystal]

Wait, yeah, I was gonna say hbcu.

[Paula J. Parker]

The HBCU portion is pretty critical. Other than that, that's really. That's pretty much what it sounds like. But yeah, I anticipated this. I felt like the. The wheels were already in motion. So hopefully they get that. That pilot in soon. I don't know when the. What kind of series we're looking at. I googled it right quick. It says none of the cast members.

[Crystal]

Have even been fictional history black university and follow the daughter of Whitley and Dwayne. So unless they're going to recast Whitley.

[Paula J. Parker]

And Dwayne, or I was going to say we. We have to get Whitley and Dwayne at least. But I'm hoping some other play ain't EAS and uncles, you know, from the original cast show.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Paula J. Parker]

You know, send a little cash app to a broke college freshman, stuff like that.

[Crystal]

Come on.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah, that would be sweet.

[Crystal]

Come on, come on.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay.

[Crystal]

Debbie Allen's still on board, which is tv. Love me some Deb. What else do we have in here? I don't really care. Love and marriage, Huntsville. That still. Come on.

[Paula J. Parker]

I. I haven't seen that show since its very first season because one of them men pissed me off so bad. Just being real stupid. Just misogynistic as shit.

[Crystal]

I see. Yeah, it's probably this one. He was arrested. There you go.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay.

[Crystal]

Speeding in Alabama as a wide open.

[Paula J. Parker]

Negro, you wanted to be arrested. So have y'all ever heard of speed dating? Of course you have. You know what it is? You go to a room, you go around, you meet somebody, you chit chat, and you hope it works out. Well, if you're the owner of a growing business, what if there was a feature that was kind of like speed dating only for hiring? As in you could meet several interested qualified candidates at once and all at a designated time. Well, good news, girlies, because there is. It's zip intro from ZipRecruiter. You can post your job today and start talking to qualified candidates tomorrow. Zip Intro gives you the power to quickly assess excellent candidates for your job via back to back video calls. You simply pick a time. And Zip Intro does all the work of finding and scheduling qualified candidates for you. Then you can choose who you want to talk to and meet with great people as soon as the next day. It could not be easier so enjoy the benefits of speed hiring with new Zip Intro only from ZipRecruiter rated number one hiring site based on G2. Try Zip Intro for free at ZipRecruiter.com the read again, that's ZipRecruiter.com theread Zip Intro post jobs today. Talk to qualified candidates tomorrow. Let them know Kiff here and Crystal sent you. Hey y'all. This episode of the Read is brought to you by Squarespace. We love Squarespace over here at the Read. They are the number one all in one perfect platform to get your website off and running okay. They give you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. With Blueprint AI, Squarespace's AI Enhanced Website Builder, you can quickly create a personalized site that aligns with your brand and goals. Plus, Squarespace also streamlines your workflow with built in tools for appointment scheduling, email marketing, invoicing and seamless online payments to keep your business running smoothly and ensure you're paid on time. I do love Squarespace. We have been using Squarespace over here at the Read and for our own personal websites and different ventures for years and years now. Maybe almost 10 years because it is so easy to do. It's easy to sign up, easy to get a design together, and easy to start making money and showing off what you offer through Squarespace and their incredible website design capabilities. So if you're ready to launch your site, head to squarespace.com the read to start your free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code the read to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's squarespace.com the re a D Let them know Kefir and Krystal sent you.

[Crystal]

It's just as DDG cut his hair and I was literally about to say like who the fuck cares? And I hovered over this link and I see a thumbnail and I'm.

[Paula J. Parker]

Lord.

[Crystal]

I'm not able to. You know what? God loves his children.

[Paula J. Parker]

Every single one. You know he's not ugly. He's really not. I see what Halle saw in him.

[Crystal]

I never thought he was ugly. No, no. But I don't like him without hair.

[Paula J. Parker]

But niggas, when niggas act Stupid. It makes them ugly to me. So it's like I'm really looking at his face. Like, oh, he is actually kind of. I see what you would see. A girl. He is kind of cute. No, Even without the hair, he's, you.

[Crystal]

Know, I don't think he looks monstrous. I just don't like it.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay, well, that's fair.

[Crystal]

What the fuck do I care? I'm not. I don't follow this or give. I just wasn't expecting that. I hovered over the link to click on it, and it was like, oh, don't buy their hair. Which I guess is helpful. But that felt kind of like a jump scare. I wasn't prepared for it.

[Paula J. Parker]

This nigga.

[Crystal]

Former running back LaShawn Johnson has been indicted on federal dog fighting charges. 190 dogs were seized from him in October. So what is it? What's going on?

[Paula J. Parker]

What are these. What are these stories you're talking about? Who is lashawn Johnson?

[Crystal]

He's a former running back. Former for the National Football League of America.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, obviously.

[Crystal]

He played for the Packers.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yes, of course. I just said. Never heard of him. So dog fighting. Okay, so like Vic.

[Crystal]

What?

[Paula J. Parker]

Wait, like Michael Vic?

[Crystal]

Oh, like Vic. I don't know why I thought you said he likes dick. Okay, I don't know, but I'm all right. What does that have to Vic makes way more. More sense, but yes.

[Paula J. Parker]

Damn.

[Crystal]

I don't know.

[Paula J. Parker]

They said this nigga had 190 dogs.

[Crystal]

Yeah, seized 190 dogs to fight each other. Who even wants to see that?

[Paula J. Parker]

Of course, this was in Oklahoma. Of course it was. Oklahomans do Oklahomans love a dog fight? Oh, man. Well, that's tragic. I don't know this man, but I'm disappointed nonetheless.

[Crystal]

Drake drops the video for Nokia. Fans think he's taking shots at Kendrick Lamar. I haven't seen this yet because I don't give a. Yeah, I do like that song, though.

[Paula J. Parker]

I like the hook. I like the. The part that's viral on Tick Tock. Who's calling my phone? Who's calling that shit? That's. That is all I. I like.

[Crystal]

Apparently, Justin Bieber is going through it. I mean, have you seen the studio yet? The studio on Apple tv?

[Paula J. Parker]

No. What's it about?

[Crystal]

The Seth Rogen show with Katherine Hahn, and it's about a film studio where he becomes the head of the studio. Kathryn Ohan is like the old studio head and then becomes, like, his partner. Kathryn Hahn is head of marketing. Duane Perkins, who wrote the Blackning, is in it.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, wow. I love the Black Nick.

[Crystal]

It's really funny. It's pretty well done.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay.

[Crystal]

But if nothing else, Katherine Hahn, as. I think her name's Maya, the marketing chick. This lady is essentially. She's her character from Parks and Rec dressed like Mary J. Blige.

[Paula J. Parker]

Her character from Parks and Rec was hilarious.

[Crystal]

I heard there was. I don't think I knew this. There was a spin off with that.

[Paula J. Parker]

Character, really, because you remember when she.

[Crystal]

Like, moved to Washington for a bit. I feel like they were supposed to do a spin off. I think that was maybe set in that form, that part of government. I think it was gonna follow Kathryn Hahn's character and maybe Adam Scott and some of the other people, but then new characters. I think there was even a name for it, but Amy Poehler never put it out. And Kathryn Hahn said it was hilarious, I think, or some shit. Like, it was really good. But any excuse to see that lady.

[Paula J. Parker]

She's quite good on camera.

[Crystal]

I'll take it. She's pretty fucking phenomenal, but she's funniness. Catherine O'Hare is perfect. And those are mainly the reasons I started watching it. And I haven't been disappointed by them yet. But it's just inside baseball, Hollywood, okay? And like, creating art versus, like, capitalism and the economic side of the film industry and all the complications, you know, back and forth between making art and whatever. Whatever. But also seems like he's trying to do this curb thing where he's just like, genuinely, like a seemingly well meaning hot mess.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay.

[Crystal]

And just ruins things continuously.

[Paula J. Parker]

That's Seth's character.

[Crystal]

But I enjoyed it. The what? Yeah, Seth's character.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay. I should have known she was in something because I started seeing more videos of her on my algorithm, my for you page. I saw one of her being interviewed and somebody asked if she had Riz. And Katherine Hahn was like, you're gonna have to tell Mommy what Riz is. And all the comments are like, referring to yourself as mommy plus 8,000 million Riz. Like, the children really love her. They live for her as they should. Extremely talented.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Paula J. Parker]

Very smart.

[Crystal]

Extremely talented. I don't care about Elon Musk. I don't care about him. His daughter dragged the out of him the other day. That was funny. Yolanda Salar denied parole. Wait, wasn't. Didn't they let her out?

[Paula J. Parker]

No, I just saw the other day that they said, no, you not going nowhere.

[Crystal]

Oh, maybe I read something that she was supposed to get out.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah. Maybe she was up for parole.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Paula J. Parker]

She was eligible at the end of March and everybody was like, get ready, because we killing you as soon as you out here. And they were like, actually, we not even gonna let y'all niggas get the chance. So, yeah, I can't say I have all that much sympathy for her. I can't say it.

[Crystal]

I won't say it. I don't give a single living damn. But I just saw this. I was like, wait, I thought that lady was already. But it makes sense that she's not. I feel like there would have been a march that day.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah, like I'm saying, I don't think you. I don't think she would be. I think she's genuinely safer on the inside. So.

[Crystal]

What? Free Wendy Williams protest rally is in effect in preparation.

[Paula J. Parker]

What are you looking at?

[Crystal]

Looking at the headlines. Nothing's really been that interesting. I've just been playing Disney's cursed game.

[Paula J. Parker]

I was gonna say. So what are we doing with this segment?

[Crystal]

I'm talking about things I'm seeing and feeling.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay, let me see. Wendy Williams, do you have anything that.

[Crystal]

You want to talk about? You're very on the clock app. We probably don't even call it that anymore.

[Paula J. Parker]

Well, maybe just us olds do, but let's see. Wendy Williams.

[Crystal]

Cardi B. Crashes out on.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, Cardi B.

[Crystal]

Oh, God.

[Paula J. Parker]

If you're talking about Offset, I did hear about that. I did hear about her saying that Offset was, like, stalking her and talking about threatening to kill her and all this other shit, but I don't. I'm not even on Twitter, so I'm definitely not finna sit and listen to nobody rant for an hour on Twitter. Spaces. But. And she always complaining about this man. But this sounds, you know, actually serious.

[Crystal]

That is not him. Angie Stone. No. This video was so, like. So Northwest is in this new video with FKA swigs called Childlike Things. Because it's the song she's on on her album. I don't mind the song when I listen to the album. I actually thought it was cute. And then she has this, like, eight minute video where she's, like, dancing while Kevin Smith is walking in with this gay guy who. I don't know. Your lady famous too. I don't know shit. And he's like, explaining to him who Twigs is. And the gay Kevin Smith plays, like, I guess the record label or record head. And he walks into this show that is supposed to be put on for Twigs. And it's expectedly odd.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yes.

[Crystal]

And about, I guess, art. And then they have this whole drum roll thing set out for north and Then north is in this shot with a fur coat and jewelry and things, rapping in Japanese. And it was like. The video was like, fine. It's not my favorite of this.

[Paula J. Parker]

It's Longish album.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Because it's supposed to be like a whole. At some point, she's like, on the stage crying and freaking out like Black Swan or some.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, I did. It was very disturbing, though. I barely finished it and I never watched it again.

[Crystal]

Yeah. So it was giving that. I wish I liked it because I don't mind the song. It was just very meta. It was like she has a whole monologue where she's explaining art. I'm like, okay. But I guess maybe she felt. I think there has been some criticism about it, about north being on the song or something. So maybe she felt like she needed to be meta and really, like, break this artistic fourth wall so that, you know, people who don't get it have an easier way to understand or palette what she's trying to say. But otherwise I was just like, this is. I don't like this video. I like the last two or three, though.

[Paula J. Parker]

Okay.

[Crystal]

But cute for north, you know, trying to be creative and step into her own little vibe and just have fun as a kid and whatnot. It's not her father, parents or her parents. She just got here.

[Paula J. Parker]

That's.

[Crystal]

That.

[Paula J. Parker]

That's really. That. Like, I can't. I can't be mad at Northwest for. What is she, 11, 12?

[Crystal]

Like, she's 11.

[Paula J. Parker]

I. Her. I don't really care about her being in this video or any of the other things she gets the chance to do because, you know, she didn't choose her parents same way none of the rest of us did. And it's not her fault that they're, you know, each a train wreck in their own ways. So I try not to take the disdain I have for them niggas out on that child because it's not fair to her. But I was in no danger of seeing this video anyway. I don't really. I feel like I don't fully get FKA Twigs. Like, maybe the music is not really for me.

[Crystal]

Yeah, fair enough. That's it for me.

[Paula J. Parker]

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[Crystal]

Hey y'all, I don't know about you. I'm definitely starting to feel like the generations prior to me because I feel like I remember when everything costed a nickel. Everything is expensive now. Like way more expensive than I remember. And the last thing that I'm trying to do is rack up credit card debt. At this place and this age and this race, baby cakes. There is a better way. You can build credit with money you set aside and avoid interest or expensive debt. With Chimes Credit Builder Card. It's a secured credit card with no credit check or minimum deposit required. No annual fees, interest or credit check to apply and you can use it everywhere. Visa credit cards are accepted. You can even get paid up to two days early with direct deposit, which means you'll get access to your money sooner. Turn your everyday purchases and on time payments into steps towards your financial goals. With Chime Secured Credit Builder Visa Credit Card get started [e-mail] threed that's chime.com threed Chime is feels like progress. The Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride bank na. Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Chime checking account required to apply out of network. ATM withdrawal and OTC advance fees may apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Late payment may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. Go to chime.com disclosures for details. All right, we're back. It's time for your letters.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yes, it is. Send your questions to askthereadmail.com we may read them aloud on the show. Our first letter this week comes from Helen, who says, hey guys, I'm in a predicament. In the middle of a gossip session with my husband, he told me that his best friend James cheated on his girlfriend, who happens to be my best friend, Shay. This Negro didn't just cheat on her, but cheated on her with a mutual associate of ours, all while Shay was four months pregnant. Since my husband is the one who told me and she didn't, I waited for her to tell me herself, which she did the next night when we were hanging out. I'm a certified misandrist and I don't believe in giving niggas the benefit of the doubt. So I told my friend that I'm on whatever time she on and I let her know how much I love and value her. Shay and James decided they would try to work out their issues in therapy and do what they had to do to stay together for the sake of their six and three year old daughters. I reassured Shay that my husband and I would support them on their journey to a healthier relationship and that I would resist the urge to outwardly show my disgust for him in group settings. But here is the problem. Because of my husband, I know details of the affair that my best friend still does not know. Details that my husband made me swear to keep to myself before telling me. For instance, even though my husband scolded James for being the dumbest bitch on earth, James began to angrily defend his mistress, saying that she brings him peace when his wife just brings him problems. He also mentioned that because Shay never lost the weight from her last two pregnancies, he didn't find her attractive anymore or think highly of her physical appearance. He also mentioned that since she's been pregnant, she no longer wants to have sex, leaving him feeling quote unquote neglected. James told my husband that mistress girl gave him James told my husband that his mistress gave him an STI and he might have passed it on to Shay because out of absolutely nowhere she lost her pregnancy. Pregnancy. While she was in the hospital, they let her know that she had an untreated infection that caused her to deliver early. This situation has become my Roman Empire, y'all. I cannot stop thinking about it. And with each day my rage grows like a wildfire. I want to shout from the rooftops to my friend to release this nigga back to the streets from which he came. But my husband is begging me to stay out of it. Since James told him those details in confidence, I'm at a loss. Should I tell her or sit back and mind my business? Thanks so much. Love you both. Helen.

[Crystal]

Wow. Helen, I'll just go ahead and say something that a friend said to me. In a situation where they someone put them in a precarious conundrum such as this, I would go to husband or to the adulterer. I would say you have 48 hours to tell this person this bit of information. I am going to do it. It's gross. It's horrible. They have every right to know. And it's not going to sit on my spirit when I do a goddamn thing. So I'm giving you guys, like I said, 48 hours, which begins beep now. And after that, if you haven't confessed or shared this information with them, then I will do it myself. And whatever happens after that, I suppose, can just be the consequences because you'll know. You'll know that it's coming. So I think we're done here. Good luck with that conversation.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah, I mean, it's going to.

[Crystal]

Because I don't know why your husband would come and tell you some shit that was allegedly told in confidence and then be like, don't tell anybody. What? You're stupid.

[Paula J. Parker]

I mean, I think married couples do that all the time. The problem is that this was some tea about your best friend. So, like, no, I'm not just gonna sit back and not tell nobody. Nigga, this is my best friend. I think your biggest issue here is your husband and the potential of him losing faith in you or trust in Yalls relationship if you do violate his, you know, this sort of secrecy here. I do think that's a good idea. The whole, you know, tell him he has 48 hours because I told my wife and she can't sit on it no more. I think that's a great suggestion. But, girl, are you. Are you prepared for. I mean, it sounds like if this does come out, James might lose his relationship with your husband. But that also might not be the worst thing in the world for your husband to not have this cheating ass, lying ass man who's passing STIs around to his pregnant girlfriend in his life either. So I actually think since your husband swore you to secrecy and you agreed that you should indeed sit back and mind your business. Like, this is why I don't. I caution against, you know, agreeing to keep something private when you really don't know for sure that that's what you want to do. Because now here you are knowing something terrible and not really being in a. In a space to be able to say it. On the other hand, if she miscarried this baby and they told her in the hospital that she had an untreated infection, she might already know why. So. Oh, I don't know if I'm putting myself in your shoes, I would definitely be quite sick about it. But ultimately, am I going to tell my homegirl? Am I going to tell her, you know what? My best friend. But your husband. Damn. I'm really going back and forth. No, I think I would. I think the, the whole, you know, trying to give them some time first, you know, put it out there that you can't keep a secret. I wouldn't even tell James. I would tell my husband first. Like, I know you swore me to secrecy. I'm finding myself incapable of keeping this secret. So, like, let me and you come up with a plan so that I don't have to sit over here and be tortured by this information because I can't also sit back and watch my homegirl go through it like this when I know something she don't. So since this came for your from your husband, go talk to him about it, and hopefully y'all can work out a game plan that you know is great for the both of you. But he may lose his friendship with James, and that may not be the worst thing that could possibly happen. So best of luck to you, Hallen, as you try to work that out. Our next letter comes from Kara, who says I need advice on whether to address a parenting issue with a longtime friend or ignore it. We grew up in a small town in Georgia and were inseparable until I left for college. Now she's moved to Atlanta, just 30 minutes away. I was excited at first because we both have kids the same age and our husbands get along, but our parenting styles are completely different and it's causing tension. In my opinion, both of our kids are pretty well behaved, but they've only been on earth for three years, so they do have their moments. I don't believe in physical punishment. I guide my 3 year old through emotional regulation and firm boundaries without shame or spanking. Every behavior is communicating a need and she opts for a more traditional approach of spanking, reprimanding in public, and immediate big in the moment reactions. My friend is not a stop and take a breath type of person. My mother usually watches my son, but she's been recently diagnosed with bone cancer and is undergoing chemo. My hometown friend keeps offering to babysit, but I hesitate because I don't want my son exposed to the way she parents. She's not a bad mother. It's just a different style. Recently, when we were all at my house, my son started throwing toys and my friend said, you better stop before your mama tears that butt up. He looked so confused because he's never heard that saying before. I redirected him by creating a designated throw corner and she mocked me by saying it's clear your mom is white. So yes, it's true. My mother is white. My dad's black. She was unaware as a child, but my dad was borderline abusive leaving welts and my mom believed in spare the rod too. But now they've both denounced physical punishment with kids after being educated on the impact I just laughed off my friend's comment because that's her personality. But at a playdate with my college friends who are all black women who share my parenting approach, my son had a meltdown over yogurt. I took him to another room to help regulate him. Later I found out that my childhood friend said she lets that boy run all over her. If she just pop him once or twice, that's all it would take. Her mom is white, that's why she don't whip him. Now my college friends did push back, even saying that she shouldn't say only white parents avoid hitting their kids and when they told me about it in the group chat, I was pissed. When my friends called her ghetto. I did defend her and say not too much on my girl. She's just a little country and old fashioned, but she means well. She really is clueless but not malicious. So now I'm in a place where I don't really know what to do. She keeps offering play dates and wants to hang with my friends again. I know she would never hit my son but her parenting style is intense. I also know that I can't shelter him forever and I might be being too overprotective. I'm also not sure that my friend is emotionally mature enough to take this feedback. Do y'all think I should risk the conversation with such sensitive and awkward topics or just avoid it altogether? Thanks Kara.

[Crystal]

Kara. I'm always for having the conversation. I don't believe in the practice of avoiding difficult conversations because they don't make the difficulties go away or the issue. And you're likely just going to consider. I mean you're likely going to continue driving into the same brick wall which is not fun for you or your bike or car or other means of transportation. The point is, I would encourage you to find the best possible way to have a conversation. Now you know these people. We do not know these people. If you are dead set, certain 99, 100% sure that a conversation will be fruitless, then I think you know what else to do, which is just keep your children safe and your own peace of mind. I don't really care where your parents are from or what they look like. You're not beating your Kids and someone else when you're not even in the room having the nerve to say she lets her kids run all over them and da da da, da da. Maybe she's just speaking to this kid in another room saying, hey, yogurt's not going anywhere. What's the real issue here? Let's talk about this. It's not really running over it. Speaking to a human being with feelings so you get a better understanding of what they need or do not need. So you can run your dick sucker about whatever the it is that your parents or your guardian put you through but what you're not going to do. So yeah.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah, I, I, I don't know, you sound really sure that your friend would like never ever hit your son. But I'm not, I'm not even that convinced about it. Cuz both of these times being like, oh, you know, he do all that because your mama is white. He do all that because, you know, you let him run all over you. He's three. He's three. Yes, toddlers need guidance. They need routine, structure, boundaries. But they, they need all of those things especially because they are only three years old. Their brains are going crazy. They're like doubling in size every six months. And not literally, but you know what I mean? Like there's a lot of rapid development going and they're still extremely self centered. They're still just learning about the world. You know, he's not 13, throwing toys and having a meltdown over yogurt. This is what a three year old is supposed to do if you don't have the patience.

[Crystal]

Not drawing on the wall because he's bad. What is a wall but a canvas?

[Paula J. Parker]

A giant canvas, empty canvas, Literally waiting.

[Crystal]

For a giant canvas of opportunity. Like you should be grateful that this person wanted to add to the decor, to the liveliness of the room with their artistic vision. But there's, you know, now you're upset.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah, I mean there's frame it, I think. Well, I mean I've seen, I've seen.

[Crystal]

People do that theory. Okay. You act, you can actually shut up. Like you can shut up.

[Paula J. Parker]

I mean framing it is maybe not super common, but I have seen people like put a little half frame around whatever their child doodled on the wall and they try to call that.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Paula J. Parker]

You know, like this, it's custom. Obviously no other house has this.

[Crystal]

So that's probably like a thing that you can buy on kick on Twitter. TikTok. Jesus. Okay. Getting my brain. One, two, three beats. There's probably something on like instagram Live, you can purchase at this point. That's just like a sticky frame specifically.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, right.

[Crystal]

For. And by parents.

[Paula J. Parker]

Throw it up there.

[Crystal]

Have wall drawing children. And just put a little lamp.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

A little sticker frame over it.

[Paula J. Parker]

And they have washables, washable markers and stuff like that. Now because they know kids get into.

[Crystal]

This type of like, kids always find the permanent.

[Paula J. Parker]

This is. They will, they will.

[Crystal]

But you could lock it in a safe.

[Paula J. Parker]

No. You could. No, because I was just about to say. I was just about to say this is where you as the adult come in. Yes, kids get into shit. But who's in charge here? You or the three year old?

[Crystal]

Like, okay, Link is still in the room, so you can't say things like that too. Well, she's gonna agree and then it's gonna be.

[Paula J. Parker]

Crystal said, well, because literally, which one of us is the adult here? Like this idea that you're.

[Crystal]

There was a blow pop in her bed this morning.

[Paula J. Parker]

Unwrapped.

[Crystal]

Yes. No. No.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh. I was about to say she was like, I'm eating this, but I had.

[Crystal]

A blue pop on my bedside. A blow pop on my bedside table. I never ate and I forgot all about it, obviously. Woke up tomorrow and was in her bed. And I pulled it out and I put it in front of her face. And without moving, she just looked up at me and then back down and back up at me. Went back down. And I was like, I left it out.

[Paula J. Parker]

You left it out.

[Crystal]

You smell sweet things. So. So you said, I guess. I guess. Here we are.

[Paula J. Parker]

Lainey does that constantly. Just comes to me with stuff. I'm like, where the fuck did you even get that? That's how I learned she could reach the table. Oh, my God. Now I gotta keep shit way high.

[Crystal]

Up those hind legs.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

She's like.

[Paula J. Parker]

And Lainey's a jumper. She is a jumper. She leaps right up from the. Onto the chair. And then from there she got whatever she wanted off the table. I'm like, nah, nigga, nah. You're not letting your kids run all over you because you're talking to a three year old instead of beating the hell out of them. Eight times out of ten, that three year old don't even have a concept that they did something wrong. Oh, God.

[Crystal]

To process that.

[Paula J. Parker]

This. Yes. This reminds me of a video I just saw of a girl. And I didn't see the whole. Because she was in the comments defending herself, fighting for her life. She was like, this is just a snippet of the live. Y'all didn't even see the whole thing. But her, she basically just snapped off at her daughter. Her, her daughter's like 5 or 6 and she did something small that the mama didn't like. And her whole tone, mood, eyes, everything changed in a split second. And she's talking to like this 5 year old girl and she says, don't piss me off out of nowhere and then turns around, you know, does something on the opposite counter. The baby says something, She's a baby. And so her mama turns around again, is like what you say? And the little girl is immediately like, oh my God, Mama, no, I'm sorry, mama. I'm sorry, mama. I'm sorry, mama. And it's like, I do have concerns that your 5 year old is already acting like they've seen the worst of your rage and they're afraid of it. Like that's the downside to posting online is that you're going to get a bunch of people who don't really know you or the full context commenting on your, your parenting styles or whatever. But I say all that to say then to tie this back into you, Kara. I wouldn't, I would address it because I. It's not even about whether she would hit your child. This whole, you got a white mama, so you let him run all over you and all you need to do is is pop him and that's why you don't beat him. All that sounds like a judgment parenting. Even though you have been very careful throughout this letter to not judge her for hers. You even say, you know, she beats the hell out of her kids, but she's not a bad mom. I mean, that's debatable, but you're trying to like frame this as like, you know, in a fair way and we're just different. One of us isn't better than the other. But the way you've written this, it sounds like she's absolutely judging you for your correct decision to not knock your child across his head. So I would have the conversation, if only because I don't want to feel like my friend is negatively judging the way I parent my child. So I would say it for that. And, and because it clearly bothers you, if it was something you could just shrug off, then you would have been done that and it would never have occurred you to even email this to us. So I would say something knowing that it might piss her off. And again, I mean, okay, let her be mad. She can just be mad. We can just disagree about how to handle our kids and you know, we can have that conversation. But if she's mad about it and you know she's going to be defensive and touchy and and push back and all that, let her do it because you still are entitled to have the conversation you deserve to not feel like around somebody who's supposed to be a friend. So yeah, good luck with that. Let us know how it goes. Girly Pop. Our last letter who shall it be? Sexual attraction Boyfriends. Ooh. Okay, so our last let Our last letter comes from Falana who says, I'm a 31 year old woman living in LA. I'm finally in the most healthy relationship and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. I think we communicate very well and we talk about goals in the future and I see myself marrying this man. When we first started dating, we were having sex multiple times a day, three or four days a week, and it was the best sex I've had. We were exploring a lot sexually and I felt so comfortable with him. As we continued dating and fell in love, I noticed we had more traditional sex. I asked him about the change and he said that at the beginning he was horny and driven by lust, but now that he loves me and cares for me, he doesn't want to treat me disrespectfully and the things we used to do he feels weird about now. Three months ago, we started having sex once every two weeks or even just once a month and I was the main one initiating it. I brought this up again and told him that I feel like he doesn't want to have sex with me. He said he actually loves having sex with me and it's not that he doesn't want to, but that in his past relationships, sex has been the driving force of his relationships because he's never cared for somebody the way he cares for me. Me. He said that he's treated most women as sexual objects and with me it's different and he feels like it's not the main priority of our relationship because we've connected in other amazing ways. He doesn't want sex to be the center of our relationship. He says this is something he has to work on and he hates that I feel bad and he wants to make me happy so he'll work on his issues. I want to give him time to figure out his relationship with sex, but I have expressed that I need to have it more often and I want to keep exploring with him. But my man says he feels shy doing some of the nasty Things we used to do. I guess my question is, how much time is enough time? Have y'all ever experienced this in a relationship? What are things I can do to make him feel more comfortable with going back to trying new things and exploring? Because that was a lot of big, big fun for me. I understand this is not necessarily a me issue, but I still have this bitch anxiety telling me that there must be something wrong with me. I try to shut that bitch down. But sometimes bitch anxiety, like, she's calling anxiety a bitch.

[Crystal]

Oh, this bitch.

[Paula J. Parker]

This bitch anxiety. Yes, I try to shut that bitch down. But sometimes when we go weeks without sex, that's all I can think about, that there must be something wrong with me. Please help. Thanks so much, Falana.

[Crystal]

Thank you.

[Paula J. Parker]

I just made it up.

[Crystal]

Oh, work. Hmm. I mean, I guess I get both. Well, I get where you're coming from. I've heard where he's coming from.

[Paula J. Parker]

Important distinction.

[Crystal]

And I guess I would just say, like, he can talk to a sex therapist. Like, there are therapists that are kind of who I guess, like, specialize.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, yeah.

[Crystal]

In sex and relationships and stuff. Because I think you can talk about it. You can be like, time. But, like, how much time is time? We can answer that. I mean, I damn sure can't answer that. I don't know him. I don't know. I'm sure the answer is that it varies anyway, so there's no way that either one of us. I don't even think he can give you, like, oh, yeah. I just need like 39 days. So it's, you know, I don't even know. It's better to ask. Okay, so in that time, what's the plan? Like, what are we going to do to address these, you know, you feeling reluctant or ashamed or embarrassed or whatever it is that you're feeling when it comes to having sex with me. And I think a lot of this is really superficial and dumb and in niggas heads. Because, like, if you were able to do this with me at a time, what the fuck? Like, I don't. So are you. What has shifted about me as a person, as a woman? Femme, man. Whatever. What. What's the difference now? What is going on in your thinking and your conditioning that makes you feel like love can't include lust? If that makes sense. Like, you can be in love and committed and married or whatever else, and every now and then have some absolutely debaucherous, just slutty sex, because why not? It doesn't seem like you are. Are having trouble with doing that and also loving and respecting your partner does shock me that niggas are having trouble with it because of really the way that they have created the image of a woman who enjoys sex in any form, but especially forms that are not quote, unquote, traditional. So I was told that, I don't know, maybe your part could be Googling some good sex therapists. So it's like, here, all you gotta do is call one of these numbers, two of these numbers, all of these numbers, and talk to the lady. I don't know what else you can do about that. You want to get fucked, and you want to get fucked the way that you like to get fucked in the way that you used to. To get bugs with this, man. So it's there.

[Paula J. Parker]

It's there.

[Crystal]

It's in the icebox.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Let's read this, bitch. Oh, I like that.

[Paula J. Parker]

I think it's far more likely that this nigga. Damn, baby. I don't. I don't want to be pessimistic, but I think what is most likely going on here is that men does. He may actually have feelings for you and have that whole, oh, well, I can't slow down somebody that I'm in love with the way I can other people. I, too, have heard that same sort of frankly ridiculousness before. But I think he's. He doesn't stop wanting to do all that slut it out shit. I think he's just doing it with somebody, not you. Because to go from. To go from having sex multiple times a day, three or four days a week, to once every two weeks or once a month. Like, even if you don't want to get, you know, even if you don't want to push the boundaries and explore new stuff. Y'all not even having vanilla missionary, you know, regular doggy style or whatever. You're not even doing that three days a week. Like, it don't have to be Cirque du Soleil in this bitch, but you're not doing nothing. Yeah, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I think he is. Is getting his rocks off somewhere else. And if he didn't come to you with, hey, I noticed that I. I still want to have sex. Like, I still want to do the nasty shit we was doing, but I'm having a conflict, you know, internally. I'm like, I can't do this to this woman. So I decided to look into it, and all these websites said, I need a sex therapist. So I put my insurance in on Zuckdoc, and I found these People, you know, like, he didn't even come to you being proactive about a solution. He was just like, oh, well, yeah, I like you. So now I don't want to do that. And sex has always been the driving force in my relationships before, and I don't want it to be like that no more. And it don't have to be the center of our relationship. Sure, it shouldn't be the center of it, but it's a huge part of the dynamic for most couples. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to have sex and. Or questioning, you know, the massive drop off between the way y'all used to do things and the way they do now. However, even if he is getting his, you know, getting his where he wants it on the side somewhere, you're still not. I. I still want you to keep cussing that bitch anxiety out. Like, it's still not something wrong with you. Even if he is behaving that way, it fully is something to do with him. So if I were you, I would go back to him and say, yeah, you said you needed some time. Like Kiff Fury said, what is the plan? What are you gonna do? Let's say when you say you need time, you need a month. What's gonna happen in that month? What's gonna happen next week? What's happening tomorrow? Like, you need time to do what? The answer to that can't just be the desired outcome. We need the steps it's gonna take us to get there. And if he's not being proactive about that, if he's acting like, oh, well, you know, I just need time, babe. Whatever I would get out of that, I would. Cause at that point, I would feel like he's playing with me. Oh, boy. So let me see anything else in here I wanted to hit on? But before we wrap this letter up. Nope. I think that's it. All right, Falana, best of luck trying to get that man together, but you might need to break up anyway, sis. Sorry. If the rest of you have a question for us, please send that right on over to Ask the Read gmail. Ask the read gmail.com. we're going to take another quick break and then be back. One of the most important ways that we can express our individuality and our style is through our clothing choices. Over at True Religion, those good people really believe that you should own your true. It inspires you to live in confidence, unfiltered and unapologetic. From its beginning, True religions set their own path by revolutionizing denim. They're known for their iconic exaggerated stitch creating jeans that are instantly recognizable and making those who wear them impossible to ignore. True religion is a symbol of individuality and confidence. It inspires you to silence the noise, carve out your own path, embrace your inner power and take bold steps forward. That's literally, I feel like the era that I'm entering in my life right now, I am becoming more of my authentic self. And you can be the authentic you as well. And True Religion, I'm actually so, so excited because I just got the cutest and I mean the cutest denim dress. You can go find it on their website right now. It's called the Georgia super cutie belted shirt dress. Thank you so much. True religion again. Y'all be on it. Okay, you can own your true@true religion.com and use code the read for 15% off your full price purchase. That's true religion.com and code the read for 15% off.

[Kif Fury]

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[Crystal]

We'Re back. It's time for the read. I will just do a very quick one. Last week, I believe I did a read on a particular video game where I said that I hated it, that it was trash, and so on and so forth. And I would just kind of like to add a little bit of an amendment slash note to that. First of all, I'm not talking about Tears of the Kingdom. Fuck that game. I'm talking about Assassin's Creed Shadows. If you listen to the episode, you might have heard me say that I would never play another Assassin's Creed game. I criticized the game for having a redundant story, horrible pacing, and for consistently feeling in the gameplay aspect feeling like trying to cut a pineapple with a pair of kindergarten scissors. Now all of those things are still true. I also just want to say I may have been harsher than necessary. The development of video games in that industry is incredibly exhausting. A lot of layoffs plague that industry. A lot of the people who work tirelessly to make these video games do not get the credit or the pay or respect that they are due. Also, I gave the game another chance because I hadn't even gotten to play as the black samurai nigga yet because of that pacing. So I kept it going and eventually I got to the the nigger eye. And I will just give this game three nice, nice notes and I'll be done. One, there's a little mini game that involves basically meditation where you have to press buttons to a certain rhythm. It's very calming. It's very. And you can even eventually close your eyes and do it. And I did that mini game a couple of times with my eyes closed and breathing and actually meditating and it was really, really nice. Also, there are random animals that live in villages and stuff like that. And I didn't realize that when you pet them, you can keep them and take them back to your hideout and let them roam around in your hideout. I just saw a calico cat. I approached it, I pet it because why wouldn't you pet a calico? They're adorable. And then it said, you got a new pet. And it was like, holy fuck, I get to keep it. And then I heard another meow and the calico pet, I mean, the calico had a kitten and a kitten came over and let me pet the kitten and keep the kitten too. So now I have calico and its kitten live in my hideout. And that's fucking awesome. Also, Junjiro and Junjiro's reveal, if you guys are playing it at home, that was touching and very sweet and a nice character perspective when it comes to the whole cycle of violence thing, that actually made me teary eyed. So clap, clap. You guys got that? It's rough, but there you go. I read myself, I guess, for being mean.

[Paula J. Parker]

I'm done. All right, well, I too am going to reference something I brought up last week when we talked about Jonathan Majors and I really let Sherri shepherd have it. Lauren Palmer said, please hold my sparkling water. This came out on April 1st. I truly thought it was an April Fool's Day joke when I first saw the screenshot floating around. But yes, indeed, Jonathan Majors is going to be on next week's episode of Baby. This is Kiki Palmer, hosted by Lauren Kiki Palmer. And this I'm gonna read. I took a screenshot because I truly, I thought it was an April Fool's joke. I said, you literally play too much. So I had to go to the podcast app myself to see this to believe it. And I took a screenshot of the show description. Yeah, her name's Lauren. And so the, the show description reads accountability. It's a loaded word, right?

[Crystal]

No, it isn't. It's not.

[Paula J. Parker]

We're living in a time where loaded.

[Crystal]

Is in it, has a lot of letters in it. Or please, please. Okay, yeah.

[Paula J. Parker]

We're living in a time where we want real accountability, especially for things men have gotten away with for far too long. At the same time, finding forgiveness feels harder than ever. And we're still figuring out what true accountability even looks like. Today we're sitting down with Jonathan Majors to talk about what life has looked like after being convicted of harassment and assault. This conversation isn't here to give you all the answers. It's complicated, it's messy. But hopefully it brings us a little closer to understanding the complex emotional landscape of the time we're living through. What a long way to say a bunch of absolutely goddamn nothing. The complex emotional landscape of the time we're living through. What the fuck does that have to do with this nigga? The complex emotional landscape is the government. It's politics. It's Trump and Elon over there jacking their dicks off together and rubbing the splooge all over the rest of us. That's what's complex and messy. This nigga is simply guilty. And I don't understand Kiki or somebody associated with her. If you could reach out and help me make it sense how a woman who has been through domestic violence has been very publicly the victim of domestic violence had to release her own proof of what happened to her to get the Internet to stop doubting it and saying she was making up or being dramatic or whatever else? Like, I really, really do not understand, as someone who has also been a victim of domestic abuse, how you can have experienced the shit we have experienced, Lauren, and then turn around and invite this man to come sit with you and have a conversation. Make it make sense, please. I do not get it.

[Crystal]

I have no idea.

[Paula J. Parker]

What is it like, what is it at this point? Because it's not the first time Kiki has said or done something extremely questionable. She said that about food stamps several years ago. She was one of them. I ain't gonna stop playing R. Kelly type people. So it's not the first time Kiki Palmer has said or done something where I was like, like, what you talking about? But black girls don't get enough grace. So I let it go. You seem to overall be, like, true, a good, kind person with a good heart. So I'm not holding nothing that I felt is, you know, relatively whatever against you. But at this point, Kiki I have to believe that either this is who you are, like, this is just the person you are where you don't really care that this man beat the hell out of that woman, or you were paid to do this interview and the money was worth it. I have no choice to believe one of those two things. And I'm not talking about the pay you get off top from Wondery for doing the show. I'm talking about his team, his whoever, his machine behind him paid you in order to conduct this interview. And I would rather believe the money. One, I actually don't want to believe that you have been a victim of domestic violence and thought it was okay to sit down and have a conversation about quote, unquote, accountability with this man. You don't have to. You don't have to sit there.

[Crystal]

And he has 18 jobs.

[Paula J. Parker]

This is Lauren. That's why I said I would. That's why I said I would want to believe it's about the money. Like, I'm trying to force myself to believe it's about the money. But this bitch is in commercials from Monopoly Go and all kind of shit. You are everywhere.

[Crystal]

She has every single job you.

[Paula J. Parker]

You have. Akilah has been working since Akilah. Like, you're everywhere, sweetie. So I'm trying and I'm deluding myself into thinking it's about the money, but on the other hand, is you simply not giving a fuck about domestic abuse victims other than yourself, maybe, or maybe not even yourself, I don't know. But accountability, and we don't even know what that looks like. Just, I mean, do you not understand what the word means? Y'all can just look it up. You're not, you're not in community. Well, we're not. I'm not in community with Jonathan Majors. There's nothing he can do to be accountable to me. We don't have a relationship to maintain. I simply don't support people who abuse others like this. It's that simple. I'm not supporting this man who I know who has been found guilty and who has admitted to hitting this woman. So what the fuck are you doing? Cause if somebody did with that funny looking light skinned boy that you had that baby with, you would be saying the same thing.

[Crystal]

Oh, boy.

[Paula J. Parker]

So why, why is it, Keke, that your story matters but somebody else's don't?

[Crystal]

First of all, listen, God has a plan. And so we all have to do is remember that and stay close.

[Paula J. Parker]

Why would you say. Why would you bring that up?

[Crystal]

Why would he say that?

[Paula J. Parker]

Ciao. Look Gen X was like, okay, Krista, not too much. Okay. We all not like Sherry shepherd and Kiki said, you know what? And it's the millennials too, actually. Don't even make it about age. Don't even make it about generation. It's birds all across the spectrum, really, bitch. Accountability. Accountability. He's. That. That's what the justice system did. That. That was his accountability. He had a trial. He was found guilty. He had whatever punishment. That's the accountability. How many times do I have to tell y'all that this man is not owed a career in entertainment? That's not his birthright. It's not his human right. What light. You want to sit there and talk to him about what life has looked like after he was convicted of harassment and assault? Why don't you sit down with your ex boyfriend and ask him what life has looked like since you took your baby and left? Like, what? I just really, really don't get it, Keke. I'm struggling to understand this decision, and I'm beyond disappointed. So I think from now on, when they have something to say about you, I'mma just sit back and twiddle my thumbs and let them say it, because this may have actually been the end of my rope. This may have been it.

[Crystal]

I thought everyone loved Keith's.

[Paula J. Parker]

I mean, well, no, nobody is universally loved, but I. I don't have no.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Paula J. Parker]

I don't have no issue with Kiki. I don't know her personally or nothing, but, like, there was. There's never a reason for me to be like, oh, fuck Kiki Palmer. And I don't even think I'm saying that now. I'm just really. I. I'm really disappointed. I'm confused, and I'm disappointed and almost hurt, as if I actually know her. I'm almost hurt by this. I don't understand how somebody who has been through what I have been through. I don't understand how we share this experience of being attacked by the person we're in a romantic relationship with, and you turn around and make this decision. I would never. There is no amount of money that you could pay me to get me to sit down with Jonathan Majors and talk about what accountability looks like. That nigga is there to sell tickets to a movie, and you are helping him do it.

[Crystal]

I mean, it's really kind of the bottom line.

[Paula J. Parker]

By having him on the show, you are. You are ushering in the conversation of. Of. Of. Does he deserve this? You're ushering in the conversation of well, you know, he did it. But what is. What is accountability? What is. What is forgiveness look like? Forgive for what? He didn't do nothing to me. There's nothing for me to forgive Jonathan Majors for. He didn't do shit to me. He has answered to the criminal justice system. And now he can go to Trader Joe's and fill out an application like every fucking body else. That's how I feel about it. That's clearly not how Lauren sees it. And I'm just really. Yeah, I just keep like, who the fuck? High key, disgusted. Just really. Oh, it's.

[Crystal]

You don't know her. I don't know her.

[Paula J. Parker]

I guess people Jonathan Major isn't that.

[Crystal]

Impressive, whatever their own way.

[Paula J. Parker]

He's not that great.

[Crystal]

He's impressive. I just. He's not necessary to the arts. He's not like, oh, my God, what will acting in film and entertainment and cinematography be ever again? Like, it was a good. A great actor. Fucked up Consequences for the fuck up. Here we go. You know, but you said it already about. It's funny that. It's funny that Gen X was like, speak to some of these young bitches as well, because he couldn't have came on my show.

[Paula J. Parker]

And then they just.

[Crystal]

And then young bitches were like, Gen.

[Paula J. Parker]

X was like, I get it, but girl, okay, okay. Is some of us not that tweaked out? I'm like, fair enough, fair enough. And then three days later, here go Keke. I said, well, here. The universe said, and here's an example, bitch, of somebody younger and birdier than you. So go ahead and give her that Sherri shepherd treatment. Now. Is he coming to.

[Crystal]

And all them aunties look back at your ass like they were the muses, Goddesses of the arts.

[Paula J. Parker]

Told you, bitch. I just can every. Can all women worldwide just gain like half a cup of self respect, self worth? Just. Just something where you believe in your value over that of a man who hurts other women. Do any of you?

[Crystal]

Y'all should be building mascara, literally.

[Paula J. Parker]

We need something where boys are not allowed. It's girls only.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God. You got it. You understand?

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah, I know the mascara where Zeus's daughter and them live. That's the vibe. Yeah. Zeus is her daddy. Literally. I know it.

[Crystal]

Yeah, you literally should have an island somewhere. I'm thinking, like. I'm thinking the Caribbean or maybe off the coast of Africa somewhere.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Crystal]

Somewhere by the water.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yes. And warm and.

[Crystal]

Yeah, fully like numerous weapons, salons everywhere. Spas, hot springs for baths.

[Paula J. Parker]

I'm.

[Crystal]

And you can Just bathe nude. Because you won't. Because men are not.

[Paula J. Parker]

Because men aren't there.

[Crystal]

And then you would also have to have lookouts surrounding the perimeter. And you can arm them with whatever you're feeling. Saw, a rifle, bow and arrow, crossbow, spear, whatever you're feeling. Maybe all of the above.

[Paula J. Parker]

Sure.

[Crystal]

And the first nigga to cross the horizon is getting one between the eyes. I just don't understand why women haven't done this already. I was speaking about hemorrhoids the other day because they're the worst thing in the world. I was speaking about this on Patreon for a sec. How horrifying those were. And probably in the comments were like, girl, let's discuss pregnancy and hemorrhoid.

[Paula J. Parker]

Let's not.

[Crystal]

And how this and that. And a couple other people did too. And I was like a bump in.

[Paula J. Parker]

The front and the back.

[Crystal]

I don't understand how there hasn't been a violent upright.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah. Get me out of here. What? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to remove my booty hole. Just take it. What?

[Crystal]

Just kill him. Just kill Matt.

[Paula J. Parker]

Hemorrhoids while pregnant. Oh, oh. Women go through too much.

[Crystal]

It's just too much at one time. I know.

[Paula J. Parker]

No, Somebody is kicking you from the inside in your belly, and then your booty hole is trying to come out of itself. Nah, I think I'm good, actually.

[Crystal]

And don't even care. They don't care about that.

[Paula J. Parker]

They'll leave you just like that.

[Crystal]

They don't care about your monthly blood. They don't give a. Or respect. None of that. You ready to roll out red carpets and have fresh baked snickerdoodles for every with a tear? Yeah, and I just, you know, I agree with what Crystal said.

[Paula J. Parker]

Well, I won't be justifying.

[Crystal]

Save room for your alive. Sorry.

[Paula J. Parker]

All right.

[Crystal]

I don't even think that's what that song.

[Paula J. Parker]

I won't be. Yeah, I won't be validating this episode of Keke Palmer's podcast by listening to. To it to see if. Or how she defends herself. I'm sure once it is properly out, there will be a. A summary somewhere. But the whole episode is only an hour long, so I really doubt she got in his ass in any, you know, particular way. I really, really doubt it. But if. But if it turns out that this whole episode is Kiki Palmer saying, how dare you. No, never mind. I was about to go into a whole fantasy. I was about to. I'm not even going to.

[Crystal]

No, no.

[Paula J. Parker]

She was irking Then she was irking with the gaggies. This is.

[Crystal]

I really. I hated that.

[Paula J. Parker]

You did.

[Crystal]

I hated that. I'm so glad it's over.

[Paula J. Parker]

I'm just. I am really, really disappointed, sis. I. I don't get it. Especially as a fellow survivor. How could you? Really?

[Crystal]

They are selling a movie. Like you said, they're selling tickets to a movie.

[Paula J. Parker]

So if you were paid $25,000 to do this interview, I could understand it a lot better. A lot better. That would make it a lot easier for me to understand because although you seem rich to me, I don't know your life, so maybe times are hard financially. I really don't know.

[Crystal]

No. Kiki has every job.

[Paula J. Parker]

Literally. She's in half the commercials on tv. She was just in one of them days, which just came to Netflix. Like.

[Crystal]

She'S like Nicole Kidman without a tight face because she's in, like, at least two movies a year.

[Paula J. Parker]

All right, all right.

[Crystal]

That woman's face is.

[Paula J. Parker]

We love the cinema.

[Crystal]

We have to. Someone's gotta tap her on the shoulders and say, let's stop.

[Paula J. Parker]

Enough is enough. Nicki, you can just stop whenever you want, sweetie. And that would be fine.

[Crystal]

She has some new shit on Prime. And when I'll just be open. I'll open the prime video app and then look at my computer and then look back up, and it's her face, the tight shot of her face, and I'm like, oh. Oh, God.

[Paula J. Parker]

Why didn't you.

[Crystal]

I didn't know it was Halloween season.

[Paula J. Parker]

Why did you.

[Crystal]

She has to. Someone. No.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Well, I agree.

[Paula J. Parker]

I mean, I. Please post a screenshot of the receipt of the payment you got for this interview. I would feel a thousand percent better about it. As opposed to you actually feeling like Jonathan Majors deserves to share your platform to get his voice out there, if.

[Crystal]

That were the case. I doubt that. I feel like the contract would prevent.

[Paula J. Parker]

Would prevent, probably. So.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Paula J. Parker]

So now I just gotta look at you and wonder who you really are. Are you the type of. Who supports abusers? Are you Type of. Who wanted to check. I'll never know. Can you possibly be both sure? That is going to wrap up this week's episode of the Read God has a Plan.

[Crystal]

Fierce.

[Paula J. Parker]

I told you. And. And apparently God's plan included him going on Kiki Palmer as well. Who knows? This time next year, he's on Meghan Markle's show. He's on Oprah. He's. He's sitting with Beyonce. And then I'ma just lose it. Then I'm gonna have a Meltdown. So anyway, that is this week's show.

[Crystal]

I cannot believe you follow us at.

[Paula J. Parker]

The read blah blah. Y'all know the drill all that you.

[Crystal]

Were gonna be the next Thanos.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, and he blew it. Yeah.

[Crystal]

And, and, and you let them toss a J. An unspeakable bag man at a white man who himself was pulled out of. Of. Of the. The cancel Exile oh yeah Machine and revitalized his career on this very. Now they're going to give him. Even though it don't make no damn sense like it. I.

[Paula J. Parker]

I don't know what Marvella's doing with them movies. I just go see them when they come out child and try to put the pieces together.

[Crystal]

Neither girl same. I've been doing the same thing. I have no idea what's going on anymore. Well, they just named Spider Man's new movie for next year.

[Paula J. Parker]

What?

[Crystal]

God bless Zendaya's fiance, I guess. Cause I don't feel like he wants to do this much longer but he's got one dropping next.

[Paula J. Parker]

I was about to say he's still the. Oh yes. So he's the only.

[Crystal]

He's still Spider Man.

[Paula J. Parker]

I'm thinking of the Miles Morales and all the other Spider verses. That's what I was thinking of.

[Crystal]

Well we're hoping that we'll get a miles in this next movie.

[Paula J. Parker]

Now that would be nice. That would be nice. And. And maybe would be like here's the new Superman because Tom Holland finna go sit down with his biracial wife.

[Crystal]

Exactly. That is exactly, exactly what I think.

[Paula J. Parker]

They'Re going to do. The old Superman's like actually me and Lois f to hit the house.

[Crystal]

That is right. And that is correct.

[Paula J. Parker]

Have us a baby and these d and we gonna be so good.

[Crystal]

Cuz you saw, you saw Spider verse too into the spider verse.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

So it's like you, you already know.

[Paula J. Parker]

There'S a million 10 they can just.

[Crystal]

Get the MCU can go ahead and do a miles and let that.

[Paula J. Parker]

Let's just shoot one more.

[Crystal]

Did you see the video here with.

[Paula J. Parker]

At that party cookout, backyard barbecue, something. Yes.

[Crystal]

And they kept calling him Spider Man.

[Paula J. Parker]

I said, oh, black.

[Crystal]

Her family loves him. Well yeah, they love him. He's really sweet.

[Paula J. Parker]

Seems like he treats her well and is a. Is a good guy. Which I mean, I mean, I guess.

[Crystal]

This is the best we can ask.

[Paula J. Parker]

My family was always like, don't marry nobody white. Ooh, you better not marry no white boy. If you bring a white boy in here, he better be the finest men on the Whole planet. And I'm not playing child.

[Crystal]

That's true.

[Paula J. Parker]

Y'all be having these, y'all. Yeah. I mean, y'all have those standards and then you let, what the ever kind of nigga come share your bed. So it's like, how about we all date nice people who treat us nicely? How about we start there? I would rather have a homely white man who treats me well than to have a fine ass nigga who dogs me out and does the shit these niggas be putting y'all through.

[Crystal]

If I am attracted to him, that's all that matters. And I mean, that is the case.

[Paula J. Parker]

If I'm claiming it, right?

[Crystal]

If I'm fucking on this nigga and I'm enjoying myself, there will never be a living fuck available for you over it.

[Paula J. Parker]

That's really it. That's really it. Because I don't care if you don't think he's cute. I'm actually glad you don't think he's cute. That's exactly. Is for me. So. So I'm glad y'all don't think he fine not leak you almost.

[Crystal]

Actually, she's used to it. Look at her face.

[Paula J. Parker]

She's like, is this another day, right?

[Crystal]

No, 1,000% exactly that. Oh, okay. So you ain't coming over here. Great.

[Paula J. Parker]

Wonderful. Oh, you think my man is ugly. Why, love to hear that. Music to my ears, sister, actually. Oh, okay. So, yes, as this week's episode at this is the read, shout out to Cory Booker. I will get deeper into, you know, the things that happened with his incredible record breaking filibuster. More into detail next week, but follow us on social media at this is the read. Our website, thisitherad.com anything else from you, Kid Fury?

[Crystal]

Did you see Kid Rock?

[Paula J. Parker]

You know what, baby?

[Crystal]

Actually, at the White House, Elvis Prest.

[Paula J. Parker]

Did you hear the man? When. When Trump said, did Biden ever do this? And that man said, no, he never had nobody standing next to him. Looked like they was getting ready to get shot out of a cannon of a cannon.

[Crystal]

And you just got roasted.

[Paula J. Parker]

They looked proud of that. But I'm like, this is an insult. This is an insult. He said, you look like a goddamn clown.

[Crystal]

They just blasted you in the Oval Office and it's deserved.

[Paula J. Parker]

That man said, you look like the traveling circus came to town and you and your wife, who's also your cousin, drove on out there to the side of the highway to get on a roller coaster that somebody had just assembled 45 minutes prior. And when they said, is there Any meth head present on the playgrounds today? Who would like to get shot out of a cannon? You were the first one to make it up to the front. That's what that man said to you, and you looked proud of it. These people are unserious.

[Crystal]

Nigga, you looks like one of them fucking NSYNC dolls from no Strings Attached. You looked.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yikes.

[Crystal]

I. I just. I hate it.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah, it's bad. It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad. Cory Booker got up there for over 24 hours and not once bullshitted about anything. Got up there with over 24 hours of receipt about this ridiculous corrupt administration. And these are. Anyway, it's flummoxed and flabbergasted.

[Crystal]

Did you see Benny? Did you see Benny Nat do a hair flip and said, trump gave us the go ahead. We're killing everybody, Girl, It's Benny Nat, you didn't see Benjamin.

[Paula J. Parker]

Oh, sorry. I'm like, who the fuck? I'm googling all fat stupid faggot. Benny, Nat is crazy.

[Crystal]

I should like, why would you call.

[Paula J. Parker]

Why would you call Nat. Yahoo.

[Crystal]

He flipped his hair and popped his gum and was like, Donald Trump said, we can kill everyone, so we're gonna kill everyone, right?

[Paula J. Parker]

Well, now I'm disgusted because it's.

[Crystal]

It is just the worst.

[Paula J. Parker]

I. Every day, it's the worst. Every day it's a new devastating headline, and I'm already so, so weary of this administration. But it's only. I completely forgot. I completely forgot about that cannon moment because I couldn't believe they seemed, like, proud when that man said, you look like you about to get. Shut up.

[Crystal]

Of course he did. Like, that was an obvious. It wasn't. It was like. Were you laughing to keep from crying?

[Paula J. Parker]

I don't even know if he meant it as an insult, but I for damn sure did like that.

[Crystal]

It was. That was nasty.

[Paula J. Parker]

You're giving somebody a compliment.

[Crystal]

Fuck out of here.

[Paula J. Parker]

He said, you look like you make no money. And they said, for $20, will you get in this cannon and let us roll it down a hill? And you said, fuck, yeah, I will.

[Crystal]

Including. This is never in history. Hamilton. He wanted you to know that this is unprecedented.

[Paula J. Parker]

I've never seen such clownery and fuckery right in front of my own face. Biden didn't do it. Obama didn't do it. The Bushes didn't do it. Clinton didn't do it.

[Crystal]

Why are you.

[Paula J. Parker]

You are a rare breed.

[Crystal]

Oh, he's such a narcissistic weird.

[Paula J. Parker]

He really is.

[Crystal]

Gross freak.

[Paula J. Parker]

The doge is doing with these federal work. Oh, my God. Okay, all right, all right. Let me.

[Crystal]

We're gonna keep.

[Paula J. Parker]

We're gonna keep rambling, right? Take.

[Crystal]

You did the thing.

[Paula J. Parker]

Yeah, I did. All right. Take care of yourselves, people, and. And be ever so good. We'll see y'all next week.

[Kif Fury]

Brought to you by Hoolarious Stand up Comedy now on Hulu. Hey, everybody, Hulu has a bunch of new stand up specials that are not just funny, they're hilarious. Very funny, Hulu. Anyway, they're launching new exclusive stand up specials from awesome comedians like Jim Gavigan, Ilana glaser, Roy Wood Jr. Bill Burr, and tons more. A new special drops every month, and they've got a huge library of stand up specials to check out. Go to Hulu and get your stand up fix now.