Behind My Salad

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Read

Episode: Behind My Salad
Hosts: Kid Fury & Crissle
Release Date: August 21, 2025
Network: Loud Speakers Network

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Overview

This episode brings the signature blend of sharp wit, cultural commentary, and raw honesty from Kid Fury and Crissle as they navigate recent happenings in hip-hop, pop culture, and their personal lives. Amid updates on celebrity endeavors, heated rap beefs, listeners' letters, and that infamous "salad" family dispute, the show swerves between hilarity, heartfelt advice, and biting social critique. No one is safe—except Beyoncé.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Black Excellence & Celebratory News

[03:02–07:59]

• Venus Williams' Barbie: Celebrated as part of Barbie's Inspiring Women line, featuring her iconic 2007 Wimbledon look.

  • Crissle: "There's no reason Venus should have to worry about health insurance. That is so American." – [04:26]

• Ciara's Dance Studio Launch: Opening a space for Atlanta youth to express creativity through dance in partnership with her husband, reflecting her own artistic roots.

  • Kid Fury: “She’s one of the last, one of the last, like, big pop stars that really made dance a forefront…” – [06:03]

• SZA as Vans Artistic Director: Fans find the pairing fitting, considering SZA's “alt” aesthetic.

  • Crissle: “When I think of Vans I think of kind of weirdo alt people… SZA strikes me as that type.” – [13:52]

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2. Hip-Hop & Pop Culture Drama

[08:17–26:00]

• Cameron vs. Omar Gooding Rap Beef: Ongoing diss tracks, with surprise praise for Omar’s efforts and shade towards Cameron for not responding musically.

  • Crissle: “Why are you still making TikToks… when this nigga is showing you up?” – [09:57]

• Tamar Braxton's Accident: Discussion around Tamar’s cryptic and concerning Instagram post after suffering injuries from a fall at home. Tone shifts from shade to genuine concern.

  • Kid Fury: "You lost mobility and teeth, right?" – [12:18]
  • Crissle: "Tamar… is easy to laugh at or make fun of, but this is quite serious." – [12:26]

• Ashanti & Nelly's YouTube Backlash: Fans revolt over lack of content, particularly withholding their child’s face, with hosts torn between public/private balance and fan entitlement.

  • Crissle: “You have to give us something, girl, cause we're mad.” – [18:33]

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3. Rap Girlies & New Projects

[19:05–26:00]

• Offset's New Album: Discussion on his post-Cardi B single “Move On,” their public drama, and Cardi’s exciting new track “Balcony (Balc).”

  • Kid Fury: “It’s about moving on… just to end that chapter, because it's time to move on. It's over and done with." – [20:22]
  • Crissle: "Cardi slid. She did indeed. Good for her." – [22:27]
  • Notable quote: “‘That bitch says she would rather tumble out of an airplane than do your numbers.’” – [24:02]

• Flo Milli & Megan Thee Stallion Updates: Quick check-ins and appreciation for new music and personal milestones.

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4. Drake vs. Kendrick Lamar Lawsuit Meltdown

[28:00–41:00]

• Drake’s Legal Spree: Ridicule over Drake adding Roc Nation, NFL, Spotify, and others to his lawsuit, after being bested by Kendrick Lamar’s “Not Like Us."

  • Crissle: “You simply lost. This is the most anti-rap, anti-hip hop shit.” – [30:21]
  • Kid Fury: “What do you want?” [Directed at Drake’s lawsuit barrage] – [28:31]

• Psychoanalysis of Drake: Speculation about Drake’s identity crisis, soft persona, need for therapy, and possible “loss of self.”

  • Kid Fury: “…someone who has moved from Toronto to Atlanta, Texas, Louisiana, Los Angeles… Of course you’re going to turn 38 and be like, well, who the fuck [am I]?” – [31:23]
  • Crissle: “It’s peak Caucasian behavior. You’re never ever beating them white boy allegations.” – [39:17]

• Kendrick vs. Drake Diss Track Breakdown: Nuanced take on why Kendrick’s songs stuck, and the hypocrisy of Drake suing over diss record content he’s been guilty of, too.

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5. Listener Letters: Memorable Stories & Advice

[54:49–1:06:23]

• Dosha’s Update: A young gay Black student cuts a toxic white crush out and starts therapy, thanks to hosts' blunt advice.

  • Dosha: “No more letting men walk all over me. To freedom!” – [58:23]

• Driving Lesson Showdown: Latina mother wonders if she acted like a Karen by confronting a Black neighbor for honking at her nervous teen driver.

  • Kid Fury: “I don’t think this is a Karen situation. I think this is a mother who really needs to learn to regulate herself.” – [66:26]
  • Crissle: “You could have lost your mother right in front of your eyes that day.” – [67:34]

• Pregnancy & Commitment: A woman struggles with her husband’s apathy toward children after an abortion.

  • Kid Fury: “If you want to be a parent, you should explore never being with this nigga again.” – [79:30]
  • Crissle: “Kids don’t deserve to have any parent who is half-hearted about their existence.” – [82:26]

• Thanksgiving Salad Showdown ("Behind My Salad")**:

  • (1:87:10–1:06:22)
  • Ahmad writes about his brother calling the cops on their mother for eating a piece of chicken from his salad after she cooked Thanksgiving. Hosts express disbelief and suspect deeper family issues.
  • Crissle: “You called the cops on a Black woman on Thanksgiving because she took a bite of your salad. It ain't about the salad.” – [104:09]

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6. The Read: Rants & Shoutouts

[1:06:33–1:25:52]

• Kid Fury’s Light Rants: Mild read on the TV show "Secret Level" for failing to include more recognizable video games in its anthology; also, pleas for more customizable UI in gaming consoles for ADHD/anxiety sufferers.

• Crissle’s Policy Takes:

  • Outrage at Texas Rep. Nicole Collier’s mistreatment at the Capitol.
  • America’s political dysfunction, Trump administration’s clownish security breaches, and ongoing international embarrassment for U.S.
  • Oklahoma’s new teacher certification test by PragerU, furthering right-wing indoctrination of students.
  • Crissle: “There’s no such thing as public education in Oklahoma… Vacation Bible School as far as I’m concerned, year-round.” – [121:35]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Crissle on fan entitlement: “You have to give us something, girl, cause we’re mad.” – [18:33]

• Kid Fury on Drake: “I want him to sue Yoshi. I want him to sue Nintendo. I want him to sue the Catholic Church. I can’t wait.” – [34:58]

• Crissle on sibling drama: “You running up on four years of not speaking to mama behind this salad. It’s not about the salad.” – [100:39]

• Kid Fury (closing): “Fuck Mussolini with his dead ass.” – [125:52]

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Tone & Language

• A blend of humor, candor, and earnestness; razor-sharp insight with familiar, Black cultural vernacular and contemporary slang.
• The energy is informal, irreverent, and frequently laugh-out-loud, often breaking into personal asides and mutual banter.

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Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential mix of tea-spilling, pop culture breakdowns, and sincere therapy for marginalized listeners. The hosts move deftly from industry gossip (Venus Williams, SZA, Cardi B) to serious social critique (Drake’s legal antics, teaching in Oklahoma, lawmaker drama), before fielding letters that reveal the messy complexities of listeners’ lives. “Behind My Salad” is both a callback to classic Black family melodrama and a brilliant meditation on how some arguments are never truly about what’s on the plate.

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Timestamps

• Black Excellence & Celebrity News: [03:02–08:17]
• Hot Tops (Rap Beef, Tabloid Drama, SZA, Ashanti & Nelly): [08:17–19:05]
• Offset, Cardi, and the Rap Girlies: [19:05–26:00]
• Drake/Kendrick Lawsuit Madness: [28:00–41:00]
• Listener Letters Begin: [54:49–1:06:23]
• Thanksgiving Salad Letter: [87:10–1:06:22]
• The Read (Rants & Shoutouts): [1:06:33–1:25:52]

---

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Thank you for calling the Laney Link Talent Agency. I'm booking coordinator Trinque. How may I help you?

[A]

Oh, I don't know. How can you help me? I have no idea what you.

[B]

That was my intro.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. And I. I want to see Kathy Engelbert pay for her crimes. And this is the. Thank you for coming back.

[B]

Thank you for coming back. Indeed. Welcome everyone to the lighter half of August and the year of our Lord 2025. We're almost through year one girls. Almost three year old are we.

[A]

It's not feeling like it is getting worse.

[B]

We're yet at the end of one of the. I was gonna say one of four, but one of forever. I mean it's not looking great.

[A]

It's not. It really isn't. But we, we move regardless we out here resisting and fighting back regardless of what they doing in that white house.

[B]

And amen to the unfortunate existence of most black people in the west where we're used to fuck, shit and maneuvering anyway.

[A]

I mean, unfortunately we have a lot of extreme experience. Not our first rodeo. Yeah, yeah, we've been here before.

[B]

Let us talk about some black excellent things really quickly. Some celebrity girlies who deserve a little finger click. Does this have a name? When the the dolls I think they.

[A]

Call it clock it, but I'm not sure.

[B]

Yeah, they say clock it when they do it.

[A]

Yeah, the little thing at the.

[B]

I'm like 100% sure that's a ballroom thing, but anyway.

[A]

Oh, yeah, no, it definitely is, but, you know, the mainstream has a hold of it now.

[B]

Yeah. God, I hate this. All right, so shout out to Venus Williams. She has entered Barbie's inspiring women line and is getting Wimbledon dressed Venus Williams Barbie doll. It's based around her 2007 Wimbledon outfit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And yeah, when's the. It arrives? August 15th. So it's already out at Mattel Creations and retailers. And hopefully since I'm just realizing this doll's been out, I can still get one.

[A]

Hurry up. Try to order it right now. It actually looks like her too, which.

[B]

It looks exactly like her. Right, Right.

[A]

So shout. Yeah, shout out to Venus, 45 years old, talking about, I came back to tennis so I wouldn't lose my health insurance. That is so American. Oh, my God. There's no reason Venus should have to worry about that. But, yeah, congrats to her. The doll looks great.

[B]

So pretty. I'm also reading here on because of the weekend.com that Sierra, who has a Sierra day in Atlanta.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[B]

Deserved. Is opening a dance studio for Atlanta's next generation of superstaras.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

It's a dance studio for local youth. Says here it's located inside the John Hill Harlan boys and Girls club in the west End. Co founded with her husband.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Of course. And it says the mission is to empower and inspire the generation. I saw a very cute little video featurette here of her with I guess, some of the students and stuff. I just think this is so cool. And so on brand.

[A]

Very on brand completely.

[B]

Space where kids can build confidence, explore movement, and connect with one another. I love this. I didn't spend a ton of time in. In spaces like this, unfortunately, when I was a kid, but I really thought that they were cool as shit. Right. And yeah. Why I love this. I love that she has a studio for dancing. And I hope that this can, like, blossom into bigger things like that because she's one of the last, one of the last, like, big pop stars that really made dance a forefront of what they did and did it impeccably and better than most.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like over time I think we're getting back there, but for a while it feels like the industry was like, no, we don't want you to dance. I'm not even. I know this for a fact because I've heard stories. So, like, I'm not even just pulling some shit out of my eyes. I know that producers, talent, record labels, executives were being like, no, we're not paying for autumn dancers. We're not paying for that choreography that, you know, studio time extra. We're not doing it. We're not. Yeah, you can dance. Good for you. Do it on Tick tock. Anyway, so, yes.

[A]

Love this. Love spaces for kids to be creative and get off them damn iPads. So shout out to Sierra. This is beautiful.

[B]

When I was a young fag. Sissy.

[A]

All right.

[B]

My. My Sierra studio was just the living room. Nobody was home because I was a latchkey kid.

[A]

Literally the living room until somebody.

[B]

And my dance T shirt was the all for you video and just on vhs.

[A]

That is so real. Either that or whatever I was doing after school with my friends before we caught the bus or whatever. 1,000% during lunch, that sort of thing. Yeah. So this is really great.

[B]

This is really right good for her. Now all we need is the den.

[A]

Oh, man. Wow. And you know, you either know that or you don't. You either know what the den is immediately or you have no idea what.

[B]

We talking about now. We're at a time where that's the case. Well, we're elders now. Not right at times. Yeah. Raged.

[A]

We are.

[B]

Okay. Tay in our hot tops section. Boy, is there a lot of shit going on.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

And Cameron trolls. Oh, my goodness. No, I'm not doing it.

[A]

It's not still going on. I actually refuse to believe it is.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It is. Didn't we already do this?

[B]

I know.

[A]

Oh, I won't do this. Three week set overall.

[B]

Mo released another song. Okay.

[A]

Mo is crazy.

[B]

He's Mo. He released a fourth dissect. Cameron is trolling him on a podcast. I don't. It's crystal, I promise. Okay, so what if. Can I tell just like half of a dark joke.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What if I didn't fully come back to life? Like, I thought that I made it through the cause, like, what. What is this place? Well, the like.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Omar Gooding has four diss records on Cannes and they just keep getting better.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna keep recording.

[B]

The first one wasn't bad, but they're just like. Like they're good.

[A]

Yeah. Yep.

[B]

Even you are admitting they're good.

[A]

Yeah, they are.

[B]

So you. I meant by Cam. Oh, like I'm stupid. True. Especially if you. It's like, what are you doing here?

[A]

Right. Because what are you doing here? But you're actually showing this Nigga up. Like I've been saying for the past three weeks, why isn't Cameron in the fucking booth? Why are you still making TikToks? Why are you still going live on Instagram?

[B]

I was gonna say, like, maybe because he doesn't wanna make a record and live with the possibility that people be like, yeah, oh, my goodness, ate you.

[A]

On wax, but he's eating you now.

[B]

Exactly, exactly.

[A]

It would be hard for you to make it worse, though. Like, you are cancer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So why don't you. This is. You not embarrassed? You're not embarrassed that an acting nigga is showing you up like this? Cause I would be. That's not even what we know him for. It's like a. Rapping is like a hobby. How is he doing laps? Oh, no, sorry. I would be so embarrassed.

[B]

That wasn't even listed on my thing. It was just, like, I clicked over a tab and that was the first thing I saw. I'm just. But I did hear that last diss track that man put out. Yeah, he's just, like, not holding up something. Apparently, Tamar Braxton got seriously hurt.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, she posted a letter of sorts on her Instagram story. It sounds like something. She didn't say exactly what happened, but it sounds like she's really hurt. It sounds like she may have, like, had an accident at home. Like maybe she fell or something. It says. I struggle to write this, but everyone keeps calling me. And honestly, I can't even really talk anymore. I'm sor week. I almost died. Sunday, I was found in a pool of blood from my friend with a face injury. As the days go by, the worse it is. I fractured my nose, lost some teeth and mobility.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I look right. The way I look at life now is totally different. As my health is on the men, my mental journey begins. Pray for me. For real. I don't even know what happened to me. Oh.

[A]

Oh, that's quite. That's quite concerning if you don't even remember what happened. Like, that's what it. Were you under the influence? Were you. Were you drunk or high or. I don't know, was this just, like, a brain thing? Did you have, like, a seizure? Oh, that's scary.

[B]

It's really scary.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You lost mobility and teeth, right?

[A]

You lost teeth. You felt haunted.

[B]

Found her? Thankfully, yes.

[A]

Yeah, thankfully somebody was coming over because that could have really been bad. Wow. Well, you know, Tamar, she is somebody that's easy to laugh at or make fun of. Like, she kind of sets herself up, but this is quite serious. So I hope you. Yeah, I hope you figure out what's going on. And that is something that can be easily remedied because how terrifying. Doesn't she have a son too? Like a. That child is probably.

[B]

That looks just like his dad.

[A]

Yeah, he's big.

[B]

He's got to be pretty big Now.

[A]

I was about to say, is he not a teenager at this point?

[B]

Probably around his teens.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

How scary. Yeah, girl. We. We will indeed send up good thoughts and prayers for you, for your full recovery. What a mess.

[B]

Let's say something nice about somebody. Oh, this is kind of a cool thing. SZA is joining the team at Vans as their new artistic director. And this also feels on brand.

[A]

Mm, yeah, it does.

[B]

I haven't owned a pair of Vans in a while. No shade. I think a lot of their shoes are cool, especially when they do crossovers and collabs and stuff, and they're incredibly comfortable. But yeah, I think of Vans. I think of being outside for a number of reasons.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And SZA enjoys the outdoors.

[A]

When I think of Vance, I think of kind of weirdo alt people who.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't want to say that.

[A]

Kind of smoked weed and smelled like patchouli in high school. That sort of thing. And yeah, SZA really remember that white.

[B]

Lady said that about Zendaya and like, Ghafari and Stone.

[A]

Oh, about the. About the. Yeah, because she was talking about her locks.

[B]

Didn't her hair.

[A]

Yeah, she said, right.

[B]

Look like her hair is. Smelled like petunia.

[A]

Which bitch. Watch your fucking mouth. But yeah, I do remember.

[B]

Even white people were like, girl, boo. Right.

[A]

Of all the things you could have said. But, you know, the people I knew in middle school who wore Vans, that was them. White people sneaking cigarettes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

On lunch and stuff like that. So SZA definitely strikes me. Strikes me as that type. And I'm excited to see what she does. Let's see what the. What these songs are looking like.

[B]

I'm excited to see what they look like too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, also, sza, can we have a video for Kitchen? One of the best songs that have. That's been made. Have you listened to her re release of sos?

[A]

No, she re. Released it. I didn't even know she did that.

[B]

Yeah, but she looks like an alien on the front, like a. Oh, okay.

[A]

I saw that. And I just thought, here she go, being herself. What'd I just tell you about the weird alt key? Yeah, it's the perfect partnership. No, same. I love SZA's well, SOS didn't really resonate with me as much as her earlier projects have.

[B]

Yes, I.

[A]

Well, there's a lot of. Like, I was listening to it. Like, girl, why don't you just break up with this nigga? Why don't you just stop talking to this nigga?

[B]

Like, yeah, there's a lot of all.

[A]

This complaining about men. At a certain point, it's like, okay, so stop dealing with him. What? What are you even. Move on. You making a song about your ex? For what? Get over it. Like, this is kind of that vibe.

[B]

Not evolved, woman.

[A]

You know, I wouldn't even say all that.

[B]

With a vast education, you get to.

[A]

A certain point, you know, in your life.

[B]

True, true.

[A]

But I love sza. And this is. This really seems great.

[B]

So Ashanti and Nelly have a YouTube channel?

[A]

Nope. Absolutely. The fuck not. Absolutely not. I won't allow it. I'm shutting it down.

[B]

I'm like, you let me shut the up. Okay? This is so stupid. Like, y' all have a show together. Like you have a show on Peacock about y' all relationship. You needed a YouTube channel. Who, right?

[A]

Are they doing like couples content? Please don't tell me it's. It has to just be like, it has shown. No, no, no, no. It's a YouTube to promote clips from their show. I refuse to believe that probably they can't be making original content. Fuck that.

[B]

Because, baby, let me tell you something. I'm reading here on rhymes with Snitch that the girlies revolted the fans, me.

[A]

As soon as you said it.

[B]

They, I guess assumed that they. They'd show the baby on YouTube. Maybe. I guess they haven't shown the baby's face on their show.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

And somehow some way it came out that that was not going to be the case. And the fans were like, well, what the fuck I'm subscribed over this shit for, bitch, I already watched the damn show. I thought you were going to show more intimate things you didn't want to put on Peacock. I know who he is. I know who you are. I don't care.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I googled it and there are a few pictures of this child. Like they. It's not like they haven't shown him at all. So I guess the fans were really like, I'm not coming to your YouTube for anything other than like updates on this child. But oh, what a cutie. Look at him, all that hair. Oh, I know her heartburn was something terrible. Or maybe we haven't seen pictures since. Like, these all look pretty newbornish so maybe we haven't seen any since.

[B]

But, yeah, okay.

[A]

Yeah. I don't blame the fans then, for being like, girl, fuck this. Turn around and delete it. Take it back, or show us that baby.

[B]

I also don't really blame anybody for not showing their baby or children to the world.

[A]

Oh, for sure. I think it's actually best that you don't put your children online. But you. The problem is that you need to earn back some good grace, because Nelly has disgusted us. We are so fed up and tired of that nigga shenanigans. So you have to give us something, girl. Cause we're mad, Right?

[B]

You got sweetened the pot.

[A]

Yeah. Put a Snapchat filter on the baby or something before you saw the girl, Right?

[B]

Lord. Offset has an album coming out to Friday.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Called Kiari, which is his name.

[A]

Yep. And. And Culture's middle name.

[B]

There we go. There we go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, I know they're. That's another one of the kids. And then my mind went to Navetius. I was like, no, no, that's.

[A]

That's the other one who's fathering all the children in Georgia.

[B]

But, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I think it's called Trickiari, which is such a pretty name. Oh, beautiful. Because she's such a cute girl.

[B]

She's perfect.

[A]

Their kids are beautiful.

[B]

He's just, you know, they're gorgeous.

[A]

She's a mess.

[B]

And hopefully will be, you know, blessed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He has a song he's been previewing and, you know, doing promo. He says he has a song at the end of the new project called Move on that he admits is about Cardi. He said with the Associated Press. It's about moving on, like, peacefully.

[A]

So it's fantasy.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay, girl. That's what the message is supposed to be.

[A]

Supposed to be. Okay.

[B]

It's all love and peace. I just ended the album with that. Just to end that chapter, because it's time to move on. It's over and done with. It was great while it lasted. That shouldn't be the topic for either one of us no more. It's a book that's closed. I hope so.

[A]

But I fully agree with those words. I would love to see your actions backing that up. But, yeah, I. I fully agree. It. I accept. You know, I can't say it was great while it lasted. It seemed like you cheated on her throughout y' all's relationship and marriage, but I agree that I would love for both of you to stop talking to each other, provoking one another. All of that, like, the focus should be on them. On them children. And that's it.

[B]

Yeah. Did you hear the. The BALC song?

[A]

Oh, yes. The Imaginary Players. Not remix, but yeah. The sample. It's pretty good. It's pretty good.

[B]

I like it.

[A]

I cannot lie. Yes, she did. What? Better than I thought she would on that track.

[B]

Same.

[A]

I see Offset hurrying up and putting this album out. Cause you know Cardi finna beat your ass. The sales. Yeah, she's gonna beat your ass.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you might as well hurry up and get yours over with. Like Drake did right before Renaissance came out. He hurried up and put out. Don't Wait a while.

[B]

Oh, he put that fucking Gay Pride ass. Yeah, fucking.

[A]

What was it even called? Hurry up, I'm out of Folsom Time. Something. Whatever that album was called.

[B]

Never mind.

[A]

Yes. Honestly, Never mind. That's what it was.

[B]

Oh, there it is.

[A]

Kind of like that, where Drake was like, I can see that Beyonce finna do. Let me just hurry to get this out the way so she could have her. Yeah, yeah, you go ahead and enjoy a month or so of whatever success you gonna have, because here come Cardi and. Yeah, I see why Jay Z personally approved of the sample and the song.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

Cardi slid. She did indeed. Good for her.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

More rap.

[B]

Like, oh, girl. Notchy just went and grabbed this. Notchy just went and grabbed this Jay Z cover and classic. To piss this lady off. Because that's what I thought it was. And you gonna waste my time and my generation's energy and all this. No, she actually ate. It's. And I mean, I've heard her on, like, Bad Boom Bap, sort of vintagey, you know, style before. She's done it and done it well, so it wasn't like a huge surprise, but it wasn't what I expected, sonically.

[A]

And I agree.

[B]

Yeah, it didn't get on my nerves. And the video was nice.

[A]

Yeah, it was legitimately, like. This was good. Of course, I had no doubts about the video, because one thing about Cardi, she always gonna look amazing. The fashions are always going to be there. So I wasn't even worried about that. I'm like, lyrically, though, what does the spinner sound like? And she definitely came through. So, you know, more of that. I would love more of you being excellent in the booth and. And rapping and, you know, talking your shit and pissing on these other hoes and your good day is. I would rather kill myself than have your numbers and all this. Like, keep. Keep that energy. Love that for you. Good girl.

[B]

Say you're flopping my flop. Or not.

[A]

That bitch says she would rather tumble out of an airplane than do your numbers.

[B]

That shit was so funny.

[A]

You would be popping champagne. I would be jumping out the plane.

[B]

That is crazy to me.

[A]

But true. But true.

[B]

Yeah, so I like that for her.

[A]

Yeah, go girl.

[B]

What are the other rap girlies doing? Off the top of my head, Flo Milli is mommy gorgeous little chocolate drop baby. I saw her posting pictures with him a couple days ago. I'm so happy for her. I love Flamily so, so like so much. Since Beef Megan couldn't catfish a spaghetti for her light skinned nigga. She's so he's hooked. I think they're both thrilled. Yeah, they're both having a great time.

[A]

I don't care what you niggas got to say about it. They are having a great time.

[B]

Yeah, well, good for the girls. Hey, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're starting out or or scaling a business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. I love me some Squarespace because they legitimately make building a website, maintaining a website, and image incredibly easy. As a girl who used to muck around in the coding era, I can't tell you how much of a weight has been lifted off of my shoulder using Squarespace. I mean, we use it for the Reed website. I used it for my personal website. Chris has used it for her website. It's just super, super easy to use regardless of what you're doing or what you're trying to do. And I absolutely love the way they've integrated shops into the platform. For instance, makes really easy if you're selling merch or art or artisanal baby pillows. I don't know what that means, but you get the point. Okay? And Squarespace Domains makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all inclusive price. So head to squarespace.com theread for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code theread to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay. Squarespace.com theread code theread have a good time. Hey, also, listen, I'm approaching four zero, and my body has told me before my mind that I got to get it together in pretty much every health department because I'm not a spring chicken anymore. Hydration is an essential department in that realm. Vitamin water. Zero sugar is the ultimate lifestyle water for people who want both fun and functionality, there's a variety of fun flavors that offer all the tastes without the trade off. Vitamin zero sugar flavors like rehydrate pineapple passion fruit squeezed lemonade, which is my favorite, and triple x acai blueberry pomegranates. If you're nasty, they're all packed with essential vitamins to help you throughout your day. Personally, I'm a water girl. Anyway, I just drink water all the time, but every now and then with like a meal or just, you know, workout or something a little bit of flavor in it. This is a night option. Grab a Vitamin water today. Copyright 2025 Glasso. Vitamin Water is a registered trademark of Glasso. You brought up Drake a second ago. So he threw. He didn't. Threw Roc Nation into the suit. Yeah, why don't you guys, like, take a weekend and be like, hey, who else? Like, rather than every day being like, okay, let's add Roc Nation. Okay, let's add Sir Carter. Okay, let's add Reebo. Okay, let's add Qdoba. Like, every day you just.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Take a day. Get on the zoom. Like, every day, this nigga adds somebody new to this lawsuit that's like, um. So apparently now Roc Nation, they would like for Roc Nation to enter the chat over this not like us lawsuit. And I have to wonder, Drake, what do you want?

[A]

You. There's not the. There's nothing the court can say to make you have won this battle with Kendrick. It is. It's. It's decided and over. But I see here he's implicating roc Nation, the NFL, Spotify, TikTok, Sir Lucian Grange, whoever that is.

[B]

John Janek Apple Wilson Grange is the.

[A]

Head of Universal Music, Amazon Music, Penske Media Corporation. This nigga going after everybody. You're really mad. It won't make a difference. You lost. It will still be the case that Kendrick Lamar got record of the year and had not like us playing. And everybody at the fucking Grammys talking about a minor like you, you simply lost. You got beaten soundly and you were warned to leave it alone. And you provoked that man deliberately. He said, leave it alone. It's cute and funny. Now you're gonna get mad in a minute. And you said, hurry up, Kendrick, where you at? I just dropped 20 minutes ago. Where you at? Blah, blah, blah, blah. And then he beat your ass. So take your L. Wait, what?

[B]

He's suing. He also called out the video and creative content commissioner at Interscope for allegedly facilitating the licensing and live performance of Not Like Us during the Super Bowl.

[A]

This is what I'm saying. He's going after everybody.

[B]

But so what?

[A]

Everybody who had anything to do with promoting Not Like Us or contributed to the success of Not Like Us is getting added to this suit. But the song was excellent even without all that. It was a great song the second it dropped, and it was going to be this regardless, nigga. Everybody assembled and promoted the song because it's a great song. You simply lost. This is the most anti rap, anti hip hop shit. I can't believe y' all let Drake make it. Like, I cannot believe y' all get. No, no.

[B]

Well, no, wait. No, wait, no, wait. We have to remember that Drake, this Drake is not the Drake that made it.

[A]

He isn't.

[B]

He's not. I mean, well, he kind of is. Because the Drake that made it was, like, soft.

[A]

Well, so I think this is who he always was, and the facade or whatever image he wanted to portray before is what has fallen away. But this is who Drake was always at the core of his being. He was always this bitch made type of nigga.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I mean, okay, this is my personal opinion.

[B]

I think that he is parched. I think that it is also possible that he is at an age where he's looking back and he is, for whatever reason, dissatisfied with certain things. There's lots of people who. Who bitch assness is birthed into you on the way because you lose yourself on the way and you forget who you are. You know what I mean? I mean, when you are someone who has moved from Toronto to Atlanta, Texas, Louisiana, Los Angeles, Jamaica, Nigeria, Ghana, London, Australia, New Zealand, and been like, oh, yeah, I'm from here, too. And everybody, everyone here loves me. Of course you're gonna turn 38 and be like, well, who the fuck?

[A]

No sense of self.

[B]

So I think there's, like, a lot of things in question here, but at the same time, I'm having a ball because this is one part hilarious and one part mystery thriller. Okay, I feel like. Like, I was gonna say Skulder and Mully.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wait, isn't that their name?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Molly and Mulder and Scully.

[A]

Yeah, there we go. Mulder and Scully. It's close enough.

[B]

I'm just like, oh, okay. Okay. So this person works at that place, and that person works at this place, and they're involved with this. Mm. So. And I'm, like, trying to solve the mystery of what the fuck Drake think is about to happen at the end of this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It feels like this episode of Was it community that did this parody of, like, Law and Order or something? And it was all nonsense and nothing made any sense, but they treated everything like it was a clue or it was just like, oh, that chicken tender is. Yes, it was like. It was like Chang, I think, lost his mind and thought that every. Well, he was always crazy. Yes, it was a community joke. You people watching me. You know what I'm talking about, where he was like, in his head, he was like, there's a mystery afoot here. And nothing made any sense. It was just a regular day.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's what it feels like. One part of this is just funny because it's like watching this person spiral because they lost the red beef. But it's like, you're still incredibly influential. Like, you're in no danger of going anywhere.

[A]

So it's so weird, bro. You're being.

[B]

There's no need for it. But then the choices within a lot of it are really funny. And then the other part is, like, when this pops up, I'm like, okay, well, Rock Nation's in the chat now. Okay, well, why. Ooh. Okay, so this person did their job for the Super Bowl. Mm.

[A]

Okay, like, we supposed to be mad at.

[B]

Well, what day were they born?

[A]

The lockdown.

[B]

Ooh, four plus four equals. I get to, like. I feel like it's so stupid.

[A]

This is so beautiful.

[B]

I kind of don't want it to end. I kind of don't want it to end. I kind of want it to keep.

[A]

Going until it's because you're having fun. You're laughing.

[B]

It is. We can all have it.

[A]

Also, because you're having a wang dang doodle laughing at this.

[B]

I'm too loose. Like Toad from Mario Kart.

[A]

He about to start suing for liking it. He about to start suing the fans for playing it.

[B]

I want him to sue Yoshi. I want him to sue Tears of the Kingdom. I want him to sue Nintendo and Tears of the Kingdom and say he was trying to build a raft when not like us came out. Like, I just want. I wanted to just get really out of bounds. I want him to sue like Celsius.

[A]

So he about to sue. Sure. For making microphones. He about to sue God for allowing Kendrick Lamar to be born. Like, it's. It's not going to stop.

[B]

He's going to sue the Catholic Church. He's like, I. I can't wait. I can't wait. He's going to sue the Nation of Islam for sure.

[A]

Oh, well, it's on the way why not?

[B]

This is a blast. And it's like, when you look at it like that. Cause, like, Nikki, I'm a little worried about her because of who she's married to and live with. And I don't think.

[A]

I'm concerned that Nikki's mental health isn't great. But other than that.

[B]

I'm just like that home. I hope. I hope it stops at the mental health, because there are all kinds of professionals.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Medicines that if you allow them, you're too rich.

[A]

You too rich for us to be like, oh, no, poor Nikki. Like, do you know how many people wish they had access to the doctors and medication that you have access to?

[B]

Even if it were just the medication? Even if it was one or the other.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But you literally have access to any possible assistance with your mental health that you could want. But do you want it?

[B]

So it's like we say, call the lady. The girls say on what?

[A]

Which lady to talk about. What have you heard?

[B]

No one has anything.

[A]

So, like, we don't everybody else. People are. People are barely making ends meet. Do you know how bad things are out here? Like, n can't get groceries.

[B]

So just be.

[A]

Supermarkets are arresting their own employees for eating food that they were gonna throw away. That's the world the rest of us are living in. You and you over there marrying a.

[B]

But they sell as the tiger king.

[A]

And arguing with his victims. All right, all right. It's just. Yes, Drake is a lot funnier. The Drake situation is a lot funnier than the Nicki situation, also because of Papa Bear, who is in that house, whereas Adonis is tucked away in the French countryside somewhere, eating your play, eating a baguette with Brie to start the day, and frolicking amongst the lilacs with his white mama.

[B]

Own prize picks. Yeah. This is hilarious. Drake, you also need to call the lady. Like, just because you're incredibly wealthy and plain and you know, everybody love you and needs you, and you probably feel like a God. You're not. You're not. If you step on a Lego, it is going to ruin your day. It's gonna hurt your day. Your day, your day. Especially at the age we at now. Maybe a couple of your days.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

So you can calm down. You can calm down. And I think that you should get. I think you should be in person talking to a number of the people. Talk about mom.

[A]

Ideal. That would be ideal.

[B]

Talk about being dad. Talk about a number of things. Black, white, indigo. All right, you need to get to the bottom of it, because the Bottom of it is not you suing Blue's clue. That would be cunt Sue Blue.

[A]

Sue Bluey. Just throw them all in there. Just everybody. Boy, I find it reprehensible that this nigga is trying to settle his hurt feelings over the whole world. Loving that song. With lawsuits, but it's peak Caucasian behavior. You're never ever beating them white boy allegations.

[B]

It's not the only song where he calls you a pedo or implies it. And it's not the most lyrically vicious. Not like Us was the victory lap. I'd like to remind y' all that one's the party song, right? He ate you up on other Euphoria.

[A]

And Meet the Grams, baby. Y' all overlook euphoria. Euphoria was a dagger in the heart.

[B]

But Meet the Grams, Meet the Grams.

[A]

Is some of the most cold blooded shit I ever heard in my life.

[B]

The Ghost Face Killer, Michael Myers.

[A]

Address your mama, daddy, son, alleged daughter. And let's. Let's remind everyone, including Drake, that there would be no allegations, nothing to even talk about, if you hadn't been moving weird around young girls.

[B]

I have to thank you.

[A]

It's almost like, you know, if that Millie Bobby Brown shit had never happened, if you had never asked that little girl for her phone number and been like, oh yeah, texting this child about who she's interested in and all this other shit, like you're grown. It's just weird. Like you've been moving weird and the niggas around you move weird.

[B]

Reportedly dating Lotto's sister when she's 21.

[A]

Right? It's like, it's. It's almost like at the time of this, if you didn't act like this, right? So.

[B]

So it's not like he just pulled some, you know, heinous accusation out of thin air and had everybody calling you. Like, people were like, you did weird prior to this.

[A]

Because Drake for damn sure did that with the insinuations that Kendrick's kids wasn't his and that he was. That Kendrick had been beaten on Whitney and all that. We don't see Kendrick suing you behind.

[B]

He's suing for that too.

[A]

Oh, wait, Kendrick is.

[B]

No, Drake is suing for documents that could, like, documents related to those things he alleged. I read that when I read Lucian Grange's response, because Lucian Grange responded and was basically like, this is frivolous, pathetic. It's bullshit. I don't know if he's trying to like, waste my time, get on my nerves, waste our resources, get on our nerves. He's actually trying to be compensated because he lost, like, Lucia Grange, who I highly doubt is a st. Like, there's no way that person is a stand up individual. You know what I mean? But, I mean, he's ahead.

[A]

Umg. He's probably not.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

And he got a. He got a super villain name. What kind of name is Lucian Grange? You sound like you in a cave somewhere going, my plan going exactly as I wanted.

[B]

Or, like, patting one of those bald cats.

[A]

One of them naked cats.

[B]

So what is like Dr.

[A]

Evil?

[B]

Yes. When it started off with him suing them, I'm like, okay. I'm sure he knows that the industry, like, the record industry is so, you know, shady and snake like, and whatever, has so many skeletons in the closet. He could probably get something out of this situation by suing Universal and stuff. But then he throwing on everybody else and the kids think through this thing. I'm like, where I don't really know what the plot is, but it is fun to watch and to additionally make fun of Drake at the same time. But, you know, wishing you see the other side of this. Because at some point, Adonis's mother and her French accent is gonna say, you need to go visit your father. And Adonis is gonna say it back in his Jamaican accent.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Fairy tales. I don't want to do that.

[A]

And you can't force me either, Mama, so. Oh. Lucian Grange's son is the one who married Sophia Richie.

[B]

Yep. Yep.

[A]

Huh. Look at that. Oh. Can you believe he's a British record executive and the CEO of Atlanta Music Group. Born in 1993. CEO of Atlanta?

[B]

Yeah. He's an upper lady.

[A]

100%. Oh, the rich stay rich.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Well, okay.

[B]

I don't know how this is going to end. If this is going to end.

[A]

Drake disgust me. He disgusts me.

[B]

Cash Doll is on vacation in St. Lucia with her man. Her man? Her man Zarius Smith, who I mentioned maybe last week.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

For going back and forth and preparing to put hands on Kashdahl's son's father, whose name I already forgot. If y' all didn't hear, don't remember. Need a refresher. Kash Doll's son's father was making jokes and being petty towards Darius Zadarius. Had enough of it and said, n go half on this baby's tuition with me and his school closing.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

That's. Cash Doll was like, girl, please, why are you bringing this drama to my door? You know, I don't like that nigga. You know, he ain't shit. And now there's drama with my name in it on the Internet. So you have to go too. You have to go, too. So she broke up with him, told us about it, which was probably a mistake. And then Cash Doll, baby father was like, ha, ha. I guess I'm. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna be paying for that tuition by myself or some stupid shit. George Cash doll promptly responded. Tracy.

[A]

That's his name, Tracy T. I'm looking at it now. He got a show coming up at Central Station in Atlanta.

[B]

Oh, you mean like a performance show?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, not a tv. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. None of our business. We won't be there.

[B]

Oh, well, good for you, girl. You have to pay for that child too. So she said, seeing his name, intuition in the same sentence as something I never expected or something, you know, imply that she got back with the man. Well, the implications were, in fact, true. They are or were photographed on the Lovely island of St. Lucia, which we went to for my birthday a long time ago.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

And, yeah, they look like a couple on vacation, happy to be together. He definitely posted way more pictures with her. I think she just off. Yeah, they're on vacation together, still together. She basically, I think, like I, like I said, had to tell that. Listen, stop talking to him.

[A]

Yeah, just please stop talking to and about him. No more words. No more words.

[B]

Ignore him.

[A]

Let's just focus on the cinnamon girls.

[B]

Please, both of us. Monique says she will be standing by her brother, Shannon Sharpe, and that she even cussed a fan out at her show who booed Shannon when she brought up his name.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

Monique also wants us to know at the same time that she's still looking for a public apology from Oprah and Tyler. Well, you won't hear me. You won't see me on the bandwagon for you to get that shit on myself. You know, between this and how you did your son, good luck.

[A]

That's when I was watching the clip of her on Maddie's show talking about, you know, the apology. Need to be as loud as the disrespect. Basically talking about Tyler Perry and Oprah. I was like, you know, it's so crazy that I can fully hear this and agree with you and be like, yeah, you know, you were. If. If. If they really did lie on you and, like, worked against you and all this, absolutely. You deserve restitution. You deserve a public apology. Blah, blah, blah, all that. And at the same time, you can be so fucking wrong in other areas that I no longer care that you receive justice.

[B]

This is so true.

[A]

That's literally the place I'm in with Monique. It's like, I. I would love to root for you and be like, yeah, you know, Tyler and Oprah. You would be accountable for your shit. But Shannon Sharpe is accused of, you know, this is sexual assault. This isn't just, oh, I had sex with a younger girl. Like, this is sexual misconduct, to put it lightly. So insisting on standing by a nigga when you wasn't in the room to witness what happened is just some of the dumbest bitch shit I can think of. Why? That's my brother. No, it's not. And even if it was your brother, you were not there. You have no idea whether he actually did those things, so why even bring it up? You tried to warn him on that show. We all saw the clips been circulating. Get you a old bitch that liked to make ham hocks and stay home, and you did. Okay. That was more than enough. What is this bullshit now? On top of the way you treated your child, I can't even get over the way you treated your son because you keep doing other dumb shit.

[B]

I will never get over it.

[A]

And then you making a good point about Tyler Perry. Honestly, when was the last time Monique made a good point that wasn't about the Tyler Perry situation?

[B]

When she said, Shannon Sharpe should date? That.

[A]

Yeah, that was. That was about it. That was about it. So, like, ugh. Ugh. Girl, I don't care. I don't care whether you get your. Your money, the money you feel like you're owed. I don't care whether them two extremely rich niggas ever apologize to you because look at how you act.

[B]

She's not in the shoebox anymore either. Like, she is touring. She was in that joke of a movie that Lee Dance made where Glenn Close had on kuchihadas and was talking about, oh, right.

[A]

I couldn't believe y' all actually watched that. Like, even I have a line.

[B]

You know what? You're right.

[A]

Even I have a line, and I.

[B]

Should have had one, too.

[A]

Why would you do that to yourself?

[B]

I don't know. Andra Day, Glenn Close. There are some shots in the trailer that looked genuinely spooky. And honestly, it could have been tea. It could have been, like, if the exorcist was, you know, in the Church of God and Christ, you know?

[A]

Okay, yeah.

[B]

Church of Kojik. Church of Gleefully.

[A]

All right. Nope, nope. Chaos.

[B]

Um. Oh, there's so many more things, but I'm not. I'm gonna wrap it up with a good. Something that made me smile.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Which was big X the plug. Giving honor to Beyonce and saying that he's part of the beehive.

[A]

Happily, I bet you are.

[B]

She Beyonce, including his son, the largest in her concert in her latest tour, brought so many women to his fan base.

[A]

And.

[B]

He'S really appreciative, and he's like, hopefully we can get a record in. He's also, like, on a country tip. Anyway, interestingly now, because I heard, like, two of his latest records that are big. He has this record with Shaboozi and he has, like, another song that's very country influenced, although he's still, you know, rapping and whatnot on it. And one moment of the cowboy Carter, when that moment happened, when she, I suppose, was changing, that whole sequence where she's a giant. A giant woman, and that song came on, I didn't expect. Was just so cool to see her just dancing. I just loved it. I think I've made a comment before about loving giant Beyonce.

[A]

Yeah, well, I'm sure you have, but we all did that. The. The inner chills or whatever you call them videos she was showing while she was back. They are incredible. This bitches show. Oh, anyway, they've.

[B]

They're Parkwood and them are great. They've. Those have been amazing for years.

[A]

A long time. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm thinking back. Every Beyonce show has incredible visual components. While she's off, you're not just sitting there in the dark waiting for this bitch to come back on stage. Like, you are entertained for that whole almost three hours. Yes. You know which other show on the run had also really good. Yes. So, so good.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Videos and stuff. But I'm sure a big X. The plug is extremely appreciative. I know them streams went way up the. The dollars went way up. But I wouldn't hold my breath on a collab because she does this. You know, she picks niggas up and puts their songs in things. She did this with OT Genesis and Everybody Mad and N went and listened to the regular version of Everybody Mad and was like, no, I want the Coachella. I want be Chella. I want the Beachella version of that song. But, yeah, you know, congratulations on the success and being chosen.

[B]

All right, we'll wrap it up there. We're gonna take a break now and come back to read your letters.

[A]

Hey, guys, over at Metro, they've got your back. They've lowered their prices and they're giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. Now listen, I know like y' all know like my mama, cousins and everybody else knows that the prices lately they have been through the roof. I thought we were all worried about grocery prices a few months ago. Girl, everything has gotten worse as far as I'm concerned. At the gas pump, grocery store, the rent's going up, the the bus tickets, clothes, everything is going up. It would be nice if prices went down for a change. Metro said I got you. That ain't no problem. One line 20% lower. Family plans also lowered and you get a free 5G phone all with no ID required and no activation fees. So stop by your neighborhood Metro store, Visit metro by t-mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. That's right, bring your number not available if currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guarantee covers monthly price of on network, Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan exclusion Supply [e-mail].

[B]

Hey guys, so I've come to a bit of a revelation recently I realized that buying every new video game and spending excessive amounts of money on microtransactions within those video games, it could impact my long term financial stability. So now through Chime, you and I can be smarter about how we manage credit scores. With the Chime Credit Builder Secured Visa Credit card you can build credit history with everyday purchases and regular on time payments. Use the Chime Credit Builder Visa Credit card everywhere Visa credit cards are accepted and build credit with money you set aside. Plus get access to credit tools designed to help you build, protect and maintain your credit with less stress. Okay, don't be like me. Be better. Make everyday purchases count with Chime's secured Credit Builder Visa Credit Card. Get started [e-mail] the Read Chime feels like progress.

[A]

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[B]

We are back. It's time for your listener letter.

[A]

Yes it is. Send your Questions to AskTheRead Gmail.com we may read them aloud on the show. We have an update this week from Dosha. Now, if you remember, Dosha wrote to us as a gay, black 20 year old going to school in Boston and was talking to this white boy and the white boy was being very weird. And we basically gave advice that was like, girl, you need to love yourself and leave that crackle alone. And Dosha wrote back and said, dear Crystal and Kiffy, I was in class when the episode with my letter dropped and I jumped right out of my seat to listen. It felt like I was damn near meeting Beyonce. I'm gonna stop you right there is nothing like meeting Beyonce. But I'm so honored that you felt that way, baby. Anyway, thank y' all for reading me down. It was needed and you guys said exactly what I needed to hear to answer Kiffieri's question. Yes, my school is basically a freeform show. I also listened to the letter with my friends and let me tell y', all, they almost got up and slapped me in my face for even entertaining this white man's foolishness. After I took in everything y' all said, I ended all contact with Chris and removed him from my socials. Then he conveniently started asking to edit my magazine columns, showing up outside my dorm room and lurking in spaces where he knew I would hang out. I told him that he's an egomaniac and he needs to stay away from me. Believe it or not, around this same time, Jackson and I were assigned floor partners for the upcoming school year because we're both RAs. Since we'll be working so closely together and our school is so small, I decided to clear the air with him about Chris before he heard it from someone else. If y' all remember, Jackson and Chris used to date briefly. And then Dosha was like running behind Chris, like, what's up?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We grabbed lunch after orientation and I briefly mentioned the situation with Chris. Jackson wasn't upset that I pursued Chris because, to quote him, they broke up so long ago. He's excited to leave Chris in the past and he's wear well of how unstable he is and is glad it's not his problem anymore and that I saw the light before it was too late. Luckily, Chris is now thinking about transferring to a different campus, so hopefully we will not have to see him again. Not long after y' all read my letter, I started looking into therapists. I had one a few years ago, but paused because the copay was too high. That's real. And I found.

[B]

I mean, it is.

[A]

And we supposed to feel Sorry for Nicki Minaj who can pay for everybody's therapy for years.

[B]

I just. I don't know, guys.

[A]

I found a provider I resonate with to work on my sense of belonging and my sense of self worth. Thank you for everything you said and for seeing the worth in me when I couldn't see it myself. No more letting men walk all over me. To freedom. Speaking of Nikki, all my best dosha. Very glad to hear that.

[B]

One of the funniest things that that person has ever heard of.

[A]

Yes, it is. To freedom. Was so good.

[B]

With the just ear bleeding.

[A]

You think Harriet Tamia had a nice shiny fucking dress on? She was. She's a slave to freedom. Holy.

[B]

Oh my God. That was so fun.

[A]

Bring back queen radio. Bring it back.

[B]

Sample that, Make a beat out of it. And like that should have been a little.

[A]

So good.

[B]

Anyways.

[A]

Anyways.

[B]

So funny. Yeah. Thank you for the update because baby, suggesting that he. All of that behavior.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I'm gonna be the editor in chief of this also. I know where you are at Tuesday at 3:30pm and I'm gonna just happen.

[A]

Stop being weird. Stop being weird. Don't make me get a fucking restraining order on your ass, white man. So I'm glad to hear four to.

[B]

Five seasons of you. You pick any one of them.

[A]

You know, I'm like, y' all really want to watch a movie about a white man being as scary as possible? Not me. It's horrible.

[B]

It was like killing white bitches are like, oh my God, he's so hot.

[A]

He's so hot. I mean, just so.

[B]

And Penn Badgerly who plays him in his like, are you bitches okay?

[A]

They not like, like, they not.

[B]

He is a horrible.

[A]

He's like, he can murder this pussy bitch if you don't stand up and get some goddamn self esteem about yourself.

[B]

What's not clicking?

[A]

He is a murderer. You will lose your life.

[B]

You should be frightened, Mom.

[A]

Okay. Yes. Good. Good for you, baby. Our first letter this week comes from Carrie who says, hey y', all, I'm a 45 year old, 5 foot nothing Latina who can pass for white. I moved to South Florida from South America when I was 12.

[B]

Best place to do it. Yeah.

[A]

And I have lived in my current community for the last 20 years. I have two teen daughters and though I am an introvert and don't like confrontation, anything that has to do with my kids brings out the protective side of. My oldest daughter is 17 and is starting to learn how to drive. Yesterday we made a first driving attempt around our community, she was pretty nervous and hesitant, so she was driving slow. But we have magnets on my car that ask for other people to be patient since she's a new driver. When we arrived at a four way stop sign, my daughter was taking longer than she should have and the car behind us honked once. This startled her, but I told her to ignore it because it's normal. But the honking made her nervous, so she still didn't drive right away. And the person behind us honked again and for longer. When my daughter finally made the turn, the person that honked was still behind us and then passed around her honking the whole time they did it. I was gonna let it go, but then the driver pulled up to their home, so I told my daughter to stop so I could say something to him. I know that that was my first mistake and I should have let it go. I know better than to confront strangers. I'm glad you know, especially because I don't know who I'm gonna meet in this gun loving, stand your ground state.

[B]

Well, we're clearing a lot of ground here then. Great.

[A]

Still, I walked up to their driveway and went right to the driver's door. They opened it and it was a black woman who had a young girl in the car. I assume her daughter. I am fully aware of the optics of a person who appears to be white confronting a black person on their property and how threatening that can be. I listen to you guys religiously and I should know better. But like I said, when it comes to my kids, I become a different person. So I proceeded with my confrontation by pointing back to the car where my daughter was still sitting in the driver's seat and saying, she's learning how to drive. To which the lady responded, you came all the way over here to tell me that? Get off my property. I told her that she was being rude and she continued to tell me to get off her property. And something to the effect of, these are not the times to be walking up on people like that. I moved to the sidewalk so I was technically no longer on her property. Said again that she was being rude and there was no need to lay on the horn. And finished off with, I guess when your daughter starts to drive, you'll know how it feels. And walked away while she continued to yell at me. Honestly, I know I shouldn't have stepped out of the car and confronted anyone, period. But because of the last thing she said, I wanted to write and ask if what I did was worse because I confronted a black person. I'm not looking to be absolved by the black community through you guys, so I can feel better. I just want to know, so I can be a better person in the future. From your perspective, did I behave like a Karen or just like any other mom defending her kid, regardless of race? Thanks, Kerry.

[B]

This is a very layered and fascinating letter. And thank you for writing in as well as. Like I said, clearing a lot of ground. Really aware. So we don't have. Sounds like we don't have to waste too much time breaking a bunch of shit down.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that said for me, would I qualify this as Karen behavior? I don't think so, for two reasons. One, everybody get road rage. Like, damn near everyone who drives regularly has a moment where they either say something to somebody or they feel like. Like they come incredibly close to saying something to somebody whether they get out of their vehicle or not. Um, so that's one. And then two. I feel like if I. If I were in your shoes, I would probably. There's a good chance I would have done the same thing. I'm like. I'm being honest with you. Um, so I don't think that you were being a Karen, but more than that, I don't think it fucking matters. Like, the. I. I don't think you should be concerning yourself with the racial part of this as much as the fact that you shouldn't have gotten out of the car to go confront this person, especially on their property, Period. The end. And then the fact that you did it when your kid was in the car makes it worse, you know?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Again, I don't have kids, so I understand that. I'm speaking as someone who doesn't have. That. Has not had that instinct necessarily kick in. I've definitely had protective instincts for family and stuff, but not that of a child or not as a parent. So, you know, But I can say that I think that if it were my kid, I would be like. I would be. Feel inclined as well to be like, are you cool? I may have stuck my head out after that second honk and pointed at the sticker like.

[A]

Like.

[B]

And then my child would have still been like, this helps me none at all. I was already frightened. Right Now I'm. Now I don't want to drive.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now I want to walk. I don't want to do this. So it's like, even that would not. It would not be conducive to the lesson going in the direction we needed to or my child feeling safe with me in a car with other drivers. It really don't matter that you look white in this person. Black. You shouldn't have been on their property screaming at them about anything. You know what I mean? Yes. Even if you would have gotten out of the car and walked up her driveway and been like, hey, my daughter's learning to drive, you were beeping at them really aggressively back there. If you could just be more, like, considerate because, like, she's really nervous or whatever, that lady could have would have still been in her right to look at you and been like, bitch, you came all the way over here to tell me that? I don't care. Like, get your ass off my goddamn property. You could say she's rude, but she would be within her right to do that. How you know that the little, the girl in her car, it didn't just get written up at school while this girl laid down or anything, Right where she just don't. You know what I mean, child? I feel like I don't know.

[A]

No, you, I, I agree with just about everything. You said this. I don't think this is a Karen situation. I think this is a mother who really needs to learn to regulate herself situation. Cause baby, your 17 year old could have lost her mother right in front of her eyes that day. You really picked the wrong state to go onto somebody else's property with an attitude, confronting them over driving. Like, like you said, it's Florida. I'm pretty sure it's legal for kids to take guns to school in Florida. Everybody has one. That lady could have popped you right in your chest and probably would have gotten away with it because you were on her property. This was extremely stupid.

[B]

You're so right. And if anything, the fact that you passed for white might have been what saved your goddamn life, baby.

[A]

Truly, truly, truly. That might have been. She might have been like, if I kill this white woman, right, they might not let. Stand your ground. Apply to me. Girl, this could have gone so much worse for you. I wouldn't be worried about whether I look like a Karen. I would be worried about how I need to learn how to take my anger and do something more productive and safer and smarter with it. I wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't have followed somebody and walked up in their driveway in Maine. I would have did that shit in Vermont. You know, like the, the safest thing you can think of. I wouldn't have did that shit. Why the fuck would you do it in Florida where it's legal to kill other. I cannot believe you did that in front of your child. Literally.

[B]

Literally dead body on like you're out of your mind. Residential corner, sidewalk. The police pull up and ask the shooter, what would they do? Oh no, I just never seen him before, didn't trust him and her daughter right there.

[A]

This woman came out of nowhere and started screaming at my mother and said she had a gun. All they, they can say anything they really think about, we were threatened because this person came onto our property. That's enough.

[B]

So. Right. You're so right.

[A]

Girl.

[B]

Girl, I get that. Like I, I, I definitely get the defending your kid thing. Sure is another part of the reason why I've said I'm just not gonna be a parent.

[A]

Cause I'm not gonna act right.

[B]

I know I'm not. And I'm not gonna fuck up a person because I want to have a kid. Like that's just not. But there other ways that I can impact a young person's life. I can be a mentor. I can give back, donate all kind of stuff, speak at a school, all kinds of things I don't have to like do. But even when the other driver first honked, she said that she told her daughter, like ignore them or whatever it happens or whatever. Like, you should have stuck to that because that's actually an incredibly vital piece of learning when it comes to being a driver.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

That's gonna happen. Whether you are driving slow, quick, the limit. There are going to be other people who are going to act aggressively with you on the road.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you cannot stop at they house and get out the car.

[A]

Out of your goddamn mind. Girl. This was a perfect opportunity to be like. You see how this lady is being so impatient? Like we don't have stickers all over the car that says it's a teenager driving this bitch. It's gonna be so many assholes like this on the road. She was rude. You were right. She was rude as fuck. God only knows what she had going on in her day that caused her to have zero patience with a teen driver. It sounds like y' all were in your community, so probably residential streets. All the more reason for her to chill the fuck out. Speed limit probably 30 at the most. That lady, that lady was wrong. But you were wrong, girl. Because you could have died in front of your child in that moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was not worth it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I wouldn't. No. Fuck being a Karen, girl. Stay alive. You're not teaching your child. You're not showing her how to behave in those moments.

[B]

And you weren't thinking about her.

[A]

You were not.

[B]

I mean, I know that you Feel like you were, because in your mind you're like, mama beer. And I'm defending, but you weren't thinking because Krystal makes an excellent point. What if that lady was being like, bitch, you picked the wrong. That she said. She said in the letter. That lady was like, these are not the times for you to write. Which sounds like that lady was like, you don't know what I have in this car. Yes, and you're lucky I'm not.

[A]

And you don't know what kind of day I had. That lady could have been said, you know what? I had a bad day, but you finna have a worse one.

[B]

And your kid is in this car. Girl, that lady fuck shooting you. That lady could have just been like, you know what? I'm going to beat your natural ass.

[A]

Could have did that as well.

[B]

Today's the day. And then next thing you know, your daughter's like, never wants to drive. Yeah, never wants to drive. Because she now associates driving with seeing her mom get stomped out by two black women.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. A black woman and her daughter tag teaming your ass. Cause ain't no daughter gonna sit back and let her mama fight some white bitch by her. Like, I'm getting out the car too, bitch. I'm pulling your hair, kicking your neck, something. It's up on our property, baby. Learn to relax. It's quite natural and normal to want to defend your children, but this was the fully wrong way to go about it. You had an opportunity here to teach her how to react in those moments, and you did not do that. So try again. Go back out there with your. Don't let. Don't let this be the end of her driving, because she will need to learn. But you are going to have to learn how to take some deep breaths and calm down. Because honking at your child isn't hurting her.

[B]

Yeah, especially if it's something that she's going to experience all the time anyway. If this was your child, if this was the science fair and that black mother walked past your kids, your daughter's project, and spit on it and said, bitch, you suck the game of life.

[A]

Okay, all right. Strength. Yes, I do. I get it.

[B]

Some wild violence. But it's like, girl, people go honking at you all the time. Chris aborted perfectly.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

You have to be able to rag your emotions.

[A]

Have to. I'm glad this didn't go so much worse for you.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

But clean it up. Because you know your daughter could be driving perfectly and there will still be assholes on the road.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

She could be doing everything right, following the law, and people will still be like, ah, hurry up, speed, bitch. You're going too slow. You never know what other people are dealing with.

[B]

Um, in Florida, where nobody can drive.

[A]

This is what I'm saying. I wouldn't have did this in the safest state in America. In Florida, where people don't read and everybody has a gun and it's legal to kill people who come on your property.

[B]

And you can get your driver's license at Staples. Like, why? Just prepare. The first thing you should have said to her ass when she sat in and putting her feet about the hole was just be prepared for the worst.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Every time you start the engine, just prepare for the worst.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Good luck to you and your baby as y' all move past this and. And learn. Learn from this. God damn. I. Okay. All right, Carrie, let's move on. I've just flummoxed. I can't believe you did this. You're 45.

[B]

Saw that black lady and her daughter and still was like, well.

[A]

And I would. I actually wouldn't have gave a fuck what race you are. I'm not going onto the property of somebody who pissed me off on the road. I don't care how mad I get. I'm staying in the car. I'm not rolling down the window. I'm not making gestures. I'm not yelling, none of that shit, because you never know who that other person is and what they got going on. It's not worth it. You have to get control of yourself.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Our next letter comes from Lorraine, who says, hey, y', all, here's my problem. I got pregnant about a year ago, and when I told my husband, his first reaction was the heaviest sigh I have ever heard in my life.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

He made it clear that he wanted me to terminate the pregnancy, and I ended up giving in because of financial reasons and because I was worried I would lose him. Now we're more financially stable and all of our friends are having kids. We agreed to try without trying, but to be honest, I feel like I'm already trying and being unsuccessful while he still feels like we can wait. But it's fine with the trying without trying.

[B]

What's trying without trying? Just fucking.

[A]

Yeah, it's just we're having unprotected sex even when you're ovulating, and if it happens, it happens. That's what it means.

[B]

Okay. I don't know that needed a saying or.

[A]

Well, it's just. Okay. It's Just what y'. All. It's what most people normally do anyway.

[B]

This is a relationship.

[A]

It's really unprotected sex in a heterosexual relationship that is trying without trying. Yes.

[B]

Right. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I have pcos and endometriosis symptoms, so I'm panicking that I missed my only chance to have a kid. Meanwhile, because it was so easy the first time, quote unquote, my husband is unfazed. Am I tripping or do y' all think this man just doesn't wanna have kids? I love him and I feel like pushing the subject will create a rift between us. But I don't understand how every other husband seems so excited to become a father when he just seems to dread it. Can I convince him or should I just let go of the stream? Thanks for all you do. Listening to y' all makes my whole week better. Love, Laurent.

[B]

Lorraine. I hate him. I hate him a lot.

[A]

Same. Just these few sentences. Sounds like he sucks.

[B]

I hate him so much. People out there who birth humans, please do not allow anyone to convince you or influence you to do anything with that human besides what you want to do. There's no keeping a nigga attached to your child. There's no making a nigga happy or changed attached to your child, your pregnancy, or lack thereof. So do what the fuck you want to do is where I'm going to begin now, my love. I hate this nigga so much. I hate the idea like you, this anxiety or fear you're talking about and the possibility of, you know, you having missed a chance or whatever, which we're not even putting into God's universe and ether. But that type of stuff really fucking frustrates me. There is, I would honestly assume, even though it does make an ass out of you and me, okay, I would assume that this nigga does not want to have children because like you said, you had a heavy sigh back when. And the nigga still acts like you're asking him to eat chopped liver and onions when all of the other men around you are incredibly excited to be that that's who your child's father should be.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I think that if you would like to be a parent, you should explore never being with this nigga again. And, you know, I would probably go with suggestions in the realm of therapy with him, couples therapy, trying to get down to the bottom of why he don't want to have kids and can't spit it the fuck out and just say that so we can cross that bridge and get to where the fuck everybody trying to go but it sounds like you wasted enough time with the fucking nigga, so I would just be signing papers and going on down to get my baby. Baby thing time.

[A]

You're what?

[B]

Like my baby thing?

[A]

Okay, yeah, I'm gonna go do that.

[B]

Have a baby, be a mom.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, and there's nothing wrong with, like, choosing that for yourself. I agree that. I don't. I. I see why you had the abortion because you're married and your husband's like, yeah, I don't wanna do this. You probably don't wanna bring a child into that dynamic, and you were worried about losing him. That's what it is. You. You are prioritizing your marriage over reproducing, which is. You're right. But it sounds like you want a child very much to the point where it may not be smart or reasonable for you to remain married to this person who seems like he so deeply does not want to have children. Even now, he's like, yeah, let's not. If. If I think if he wanted to, he would be way more proactive. It wouldn't be like, okay, well, let's just. Let me just nut in you and let's see what happens. It would be like, you know, let's. Let's find out when you're ovulating and the optimal body temperature and blow. Whatever else y' all do when you decide you want to really try to have a baby, especially if you have pcos, endometriosis, whatever else, where, you know, getting pregnant is going to be more complicated. He. He seems like a very hands off, kind of whatever happens, happens type of person. And that's probably going to carry over into being a father where exactly you feel very strongly about your kids and what should happen for them and this and this. And he's just kind of like, yeah, whatever you want to do, like, that's your baby. That's honestly the vibe I get. That's honestly the vibe I get from this man.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

But even now, you're like, I feel like if I push it, it'll create a rift between us. And I love this man. I don'. To lose him. Okay, so you need to decide then what's more important, your husband or having a baby, which one matters more to you? And it's fine if the answer is your husband, but that does mean that not necessarily that you need to let go of your dream of having a kid, but if I were you, I would think twice and then twice more before having a baby with somebody who's this ambivalent about becoming a father.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I wouldn't even try to convince him because children are so much work. They are a. The biggest responsibility that another person can take on is raising a child. And kids don't deserve to have any parent who is half hearted about their existence, who isn't overjoyed at the thought of raising a person to adulthood. Your baby deserves a better father than what this nigga sounds like he's gonna be. So I think you get to decide here. But if I were you, I would not be reproducing with him. And if I want a baby that bad, I would go do it by myself.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Cause I mean, I'd rather be an actual single mother than a married single mother. Cause you end up taking care of the kids and that grown ass man, you might as well take care of your kid.

[B]

You can get married pretty much as many times as you want to for a show.

[A]

Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can.

[B]

Taking time. Time on that. You know what I mean? There's, you know, the older you get, the more complicated it is.

[A]

Right.

[B]

For baby making to happen.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So, you know, I'm thinking like, you going on this Sherlock Holmes story to get this nigga to just communicate with you about this. That time could be spending you doing what you want to do. And then Crystal also hit the nail on the head about like, okay, you do have a baby with this nigga. What's the vibe? Cause it sounds like he's giving very much. Like, well, there you go.

[A]

Are you sure he's going to be a good father? Right. Here go your baby. You want it so bad. Damn.

[B]

Like, all right, leave him out the room. I'm gonna watch the sports center. Just keep it away from me. I don't wanna. I don't want to get her away.

[A]

I just. Yeah. I would not subject my child to the possibility that they would have a parent who don't really care about.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Having a parent, like, or having a child. It's just, this is a whole.

[B]

I would rather subject my child to a parent that loves them, is excited about them, wants to give them everything. And I can't stand that bitch and that bitch can't stand me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I would much rather.

[A]

Same. I'd rather you be a good father.

[B]

Than a good husband or feel halfway about me. Yeah, but you are over the moon about our kids.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then, you know, oh, I love him or whatever, but you know, he's all. He's all right. You know, he's just quiet.

[A]

You can't always predict what kind of parent somebody else will be either, which is why it's even more. It's even more important to pay close attention to how they acting. Now, it would be different if he was so excited and then switched up once you had the baby, but he's telling you now, like, girl, whatever.

[B]

I do believe in the magic of, like, the baby gets here. You hold the baby, and then you're like, the baby, like, gives you. Like, that's a Raven Baxter. And you're like, oh, my God. My life has meaning now, and everything's different. I do believe that that happens to parents, mothers, and fathers when you see an older baby for the first time. But I think that that is a diamond in the rough, and I think most n are exactly what she just said.

[A]

It's just not something I would count on. I wouldn't count on him magically changing his mind once he sees and holds this child. Cause what if he don't ever happen? Cause what if he.

[B]

What if he don't?

[A]

You got attached the moment you found out you were pregnant. Now you gotta wait another 38 to 40 weeks for the baby to actually get here and hope he like it.

[B]

Girl, I'm sorry, girl. Girl. Yeah.

[A]

Decide which. Which one matters more to you and then aggressively pursue that. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't recommend having babies with this man.

[B]

And a lot of you bitches that are home kikiing right now, whatever your husband. Ask your husband what your. Your kid's doctor name is.

[A]

Ask them what they're allergic to. Ask. Ask him the name of their teachers or even the name of the school they go to. A lot of you are married single mothers. A lot of you are married single mothers. It looks like a worse drag than just being a sing.

[B]

Not funny no more.

[A]

You know how many women are, like, you know, I left my husband, and suddenly it was easier to keep the house clean.

[B]

Wouldn't you know it?

[A]

That's crazy. That man is not only not helping, he's making it worse. Child, I wish the I would. Yeah. Best of luck, baby girl. Our last letter comes from Ahmad, who says, hey, y', all, I'm Ahmad. I'm 24 years old, and during Thanksgiving, 2021, my older brother called the police on my mama because she ate a piece of chicken out of his salad. It.

[B]

Okay, wait.

[A]

He said, I'm calling myself a mod off of soul food for a reason. All right? My brother had invited my family and I to his place for Thanksgiving, which also falls on my mama's birthday and even though he hosted, he did not cook Thanksgiving dinner. He instead asked my mother to cook and she obliged. Later in the evening he made a salad and my mother asked him if she could have a bite, but he told her no. My mother was taken aback by this because she had been cooking all day, made everybody's dinner, and just wanted to try his salad. At some point she snuck a bite of a piece of chicken from the salad and then went upstairs to get ready for bed. When my brother found out, he texted her telling her to leave his home. She refused because we were supposed to be leaving in a couple of days anyway and she thought the whole thing was ridiculous. So he then called the police to try to have her removed from the property. The cop that did show up did not think this was serious enough to forcibly remove her from the home and chalked it up to a simply family dispute and left. My family was shocked that my brother would call the police on my mama over something that seemed so trivial and how everything went down. I personally left our holiday stay at his home feeling disturbed. Fast forward to now and my mother and brother are estranged over this. To my mom's disappointment, she has apologized to him over his salad and not respecting his boundaries three times now and he still has not forgiven her. What do you think about this situation? I'm the youngest among my siblings and family disputes like this are difficult for me to navigate. I've had my own fair share of problems with my mama too, and I do think she shouldn't have just eaten his food. However, as an adult, with the issues my mama and I have had, I know we can sit down, discuss it, hash it out, and forgive and move on. On the other hand, my brother is someone who I sometimes find to be petty, controlling and stubborn. Personally, I don't think my mom should make any more efforts to appease someone who I think was trying to be a little mean or show off his power in his home to begin with. I feel like at this point, if the issue for him is actually something deeper than the salad, then he should be able to be a man and be honest and say what it is. What do y' all think would be the best way for everyone in this situation to move forward? Thank you so much for all the work you two do. I know this letter might sound a little crazy, but I swear it's all true and I really feel like I'm in a pickle. Sincerely, Ahmad.

[B]

I.

[A]

What? The police? The coppers? You brought the coppers to your Home.

[B]

I think my soul just left my body for a bit after she cooked.

[A]

All of Thanksgiving dinner. Bitch, have you ever cooked Thanksgiving dinner?

[B]

I'm.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

This is how I know I'm an empath for real, too. Because I've never cooked a dinner for Thanksgiving.

[A]

It is so much.

[B]

I've cooked a dish, like, a single dish here and there, like a handful of. Of times in my life.

[A]

I. Oh, my God.

[B]

But prep, like cooking. Oh, my God, I'm. I'm pissed. Cooking dinner for your spouse and two, three kids is a lot of work. It is cooking a. Thanks. Like cooking dinner for your family.

[A]

Thanksgiving is a huge.

[B]

Especially on Thanksgiving, it's not a meat.

[A]

Two sides ate meat grown. It's four breads, it's 10 cakes.

[B]

And like, I think black people across. Across the Diaspora, this is what we do. The ones that do Thanksgiving, we're not talking about. We're talking about days.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, Days.

[B]

We're talking about Monday at the latest.

[A]

Monday. Let's start throwing that turkey. Cause it's time to get started. You have to. Let's start shredding that cheese and getting ready. It is. Nigga, nigga.

[B]

It is like I have seen black women, even friends of mine in our group who have done Thanksgiving.

[A]

Jade and I have.

[B]

Who afterwards, just lay down.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

Don't even eat.

[A]

Don't ask.

[B]

Just lay down and just don't talk to me. Just let me drink this. Drink this rum and Coke. And just food in the kitchen. I cannot imagine it is tiring. Although a lot of people do it with love. Especially moms, grandmas.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Who love for their family, especially when they get older. It's still a lot of work.

[A]

So much.

[B]

Even if it weren't. Which. But I want us to keep our minds on the fact that it is.

[A]

That it is.

[B]

Your mama took a bite of your chicken.

[A]

It.

[B]

And you. You attempted to kick her out of the house.

[A]

Arrested.

[B]

Do you know how wild that already is? Again, if you got. If you ordered the chicken from churches and she took a bite of yours and you tried to kick her out the house, I would say you are bugging. She cooked the food, took a bite of yours. It's Thanksgiving. I know. It's a ton of food left. You tried to kick her out the house. She reasonably said, girl, fuck you. I gave birth to you and I cooked all this food like, I'm not going nowhere. So you called the police.

[A]

The police. You hate your mama.

[B]

This is what I'm saying. Like, what is missing?

[A]

Yeah. What's yeah, yeah. When Ahmad said.

[B]

Cause Ahmad said that he's had his issues, they were able to reconcile it in a way that sounds like progressed and mature or whatever. So he knows it's possible there. But that made me think, what is. What has. What's the mama's tea? What does she do to your brother?

[A]

Yes, exactly.

[B]

Because this isn't.

[A]

He hates her.

[B]

That is. That's so wild, so flagrant, so violent.

[A]

That cannot wrap him up.

[B]

If this nigga was, like, unhinged, I feel like he would have said that. He did say something. Like, he feels like his brother is.

[A]

Controlling or something petty, controlling and stubborn. Mm.

[B]

You didn't say crazy. Cause this isn't petty or stubborn or controlling. This is wild. This is crazy.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Um. Yeah. I don't know. I. I feel for you, Ahmad. Cause I get you. I, I. I felt you in my heart when you said you're the baby. And I'm sure that emotionally this is a lot for you and you want it to just be over, but. Did he give the brother a name?

[A]

No, he did not.

[B]

Ahmad, if I were you, my brother would have to kiss the blackest part of my ass. Like I was. Like, someone else in the family would have to be the person to say, now, you need to fix this. And I'm not sure where we're gonna get started, but you. We have a lot of work to do. But you called the police on my mama because she ate a piece of chicken off your plate that she cooked for your ungrateful black ass. I would have been like. I would have put hands on you for trying to kick her out over it. You called the police to come to this house and possibly shoot my mama dead because she ate a piece of your chicken. I wouldn't have. I wouldn't even be interested in you, in making amends. I wouldn't. Like, I would want nothing to do. I would be that pissed. This is crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What does she do to him?

[A]

Ahmad, I think your brother was looking for a reason to cut your mama off, no matter how small it was, and this was it.

[B]

That makes sense.

[A]

But why he invited somebody he hates to his house in the first place? I don't understand. Why was she even invited? Why did you even host Thanksgiving and invite this woman and ask her to cook if you hate her this much? Also, you're the youngest. The youngest child frequently gets a different set of parents than the oldest. The firstborns know what I'm talking about. We get them niggas at they worst. We get the parents who have never been parents before, and they make all their worst mistakes on us. So it's quite possible that you've had issues with your mama and your brother's issues are much worse. When you said, you know, I've gone back and forth with my mom before. I know she can be difficult. Whatever else. I would assume that your brother has a lot of issues with your mom that he isn't willing to talk about for whatever reason. And it came out in this absolutely insane way. However, again, it is. I cannot even wrap my mind around inviting someone to my home that I dislike this much. I simply would not have invited my mother. I would not be spending a holiday with her if I felt that way about her. The best way for everybody to move on. It sounds like your brother has moved on. It's your mom who wants a relationship with her son. But. Yeah, but if he's not willing to speak to her about what the problem is, she can't have one. You can't force him to have the conversation.

[B]

I would simply hear something there.

[A]

Leave it alone. Oh, yeah. It has to be. Because nobody does this. You don't.

[B]

Nobody does this.

[A]

You don't invite somebody into your house, ask them to take on the monumental task of cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and then catch an attitude when they make a salad later on and. And want a bite of it or like, whatever. However it worked out. Like this is. You see how this don't make no goddamn sense. He's mad about something. That's not like you said. I feel if the issue is something deeper than the salad. If the issue is your mama did crack or something, like your mama left your brother in the trap house in exchange for some dope, like something. Or, you know, or maybe it's completely unreasonable and your brother's out of his mind, but it is absolutely deeper than the salad. Calling the police on your mama because she wouldn't leave the. You trying to kick her out over this bite of chicken.

[B]

Trigger was right. I don't know what boundaries she crossed if she knew she did. If she did it. But it's definitely deeper.

[A]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[B]

I don't know why you would invite a person that you are that on the edge with to go over to your house.

[A]

That's it. Why? If you. I, I don't want to sound like I'm caping for your brother because I think he's out of his mind in this scenario. Like, this is fully ridiculous. Because if I dislike you that much, I don't even trust you cooking for me. It's just no way I would have invited you into my home if I had this kind of beef with you. But your brother's being clear that he's not trying to move forward. He's fine with simply not talking to your mom, and that's that. Your mom is the one who needs to accept that until her son wants to mend things, she can't force it. And hopefully she's not bringing you into it and keeping you involved and like, oh, why am I? Why don't you? What's wrong with Marcus? Why he. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Hopefully she's not doing that. I'm sure you want everybody in your family to get along and everybody be happy, et cetera, et cetera. But sometimes it just don't work out like that. Right. You could try talking to your brother yourself. Don't go back and tell your mama what yalls conversation was. But you could be like, you know, I'm 24, you're 35. What happened when I wasn't born? You know what I would.

[B]

What am I missing? If you guys have a relationship like a chit chat relationship like that. I would absolutely do that.

[A]

Yeah, I would too.

[B]

I would. Because first of all, I would. Even having a history with my mom, I would still be pissed about the police situation over some chicken.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That she cooked. Like, I would be living.

[A]

It makes no sense. I would call the cops.

[B]

No, I, I, I would be like, okay, so this is just between you and I. I'm not, this is just for, you know, brother to brother.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What's tea?

[A]

For real? Cause you hate this bitch.

[B]

It's not the chicken, but she hate this bitch. What does she do?

[A]

You.

[B]

And I need you to realize this looks crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She ate a piece of chicken. You tried to kick her out. She wouldn't leave. You call the police and you still. She apologized thrice. Three times. And you still don't want to talk to her behind that chicken.

[A]

You running up on four years of not speaking to mama behind this salad. It's not about the salad.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

What happened?

[B]

Like, I would. Yeah, I, I think I would.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At least for you. Just to kind of bridge the gap a little bit. Have a little bit more clarity with your brother and hopefully empathy. Even though what he did was wild. You will know. Okay. He did this thing because he has had a really weird relationship with mom that they kept for me. Cause I'm the baby and it's different or you know, whatever. X, Y, Z, ABC reason. And that is what it is. It's not a solid thing. You know, she just. He don't play with her like that because she did this, and that makes sense. And, you know, she crossed the boundary, thought that she would be cute because she was mama and she cooked and, you know, he had to put his foot down and she's playing a game. And, you know, at least you have more understanding of them. But even if you do do that, like Crystal said, I would just. I think you should stay out of it.

[A]

That's just for your own understanding. But, yes, because I've had to have a similar conversation with my brother Adam, who y' all know is three years old, about, you know, Adam didn't grow up in the hell that I grew up in. My mother, by the time Adam came around, she was too tired to really give a fuck. And my dad wasn't really around, so he didn't grow up terrorized the way I did. So he kind of just like, dad. I mean, I saw that nigga, like, four times. What you mean? And I'm like, I'm so deeply jealous of that. I wish that nigga wasn't around for my childhood. You have no idea what I went through. I would try with my brother, but I would leave it alone after that because this ultimately don't have shit to do with you.

[B]

Right?

[A]

This is about them, too, growing up.

[B]

Don't be a messenger.

[A]

Yes. Do not, whatever you do, if you talk to your brother, do not go back and tell your mama unless you want to completely ruin the dynamic between you and your brother.

[B]

And if your mother, like Crystal say, is like, if she is trying to involve you and be like, oh, have you spoken to Marcus? Have you. Can you go shut that down, too? Nope. That.

[A]

And don't talk to me about Marcus. Marcus don't want to talk to you, so simply leave me out of it. I had to do this. When my mother would call me, she would call me about Adam every day. She would call me and act like she wanted to talk to me. And then five minutes into the conversation, she would be like, so let me tell you about Adam and what Adam is doing and Adam this and Adam that. And after a couple of weeks of that, I said, don't call me no more to talk about Adam. And she just stopped calling. So if I were you, I. I stay out of it. Stay, stay, stay out of trying. Don't try to fix it.

[B]

Yeah, don't try to fix it.

[A]

Don't try to fix it. This is something much deeper and not. Yes, not your responsibility. And not within your power. If you could fix it, it would be fixed.

[B]

So, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Best of luck to you. I hope we find out why he hates your mama so much. Cause calling the cops.

[B]

I would like to know.

[A]

You called the cops on a black woman on Thanksgiving because she took a bite of your salad. It ain't no a bite of it.

[B]

As if she could.

[A]

Even if I was so mad at my mom and was like, get out of my house, it ain't no way I would have called the police. Never, never, ever would have called the police. It's not that. She'll be gone within 48 hours. I'll go stay at a hotel. I'm not calling.

[B]

I was just about to say that.

[A]

I'm not calling the cops. It's not. I. I'm only calling the cops if I feel like my life is in danger.

[B]

I was just about to. If I was in that situation. I told my mom to leave. She's like, girl, go yourself. I might just leave and go say somewhere else. But I'm going to call the police.

[A]

I'm not calling the police. Baby is. It was extreme. So I'm deeply. I'm so interested to know what your brother sounded like. You don't understand the hell that woman put me through. But again, in that case, why'd you have her to your house? Why'd you have her cook? Why'd you. Like, why did you even invite her? So talking in circles at this point. Good luck.

[B]

Those could be olive branches. Those. They could have been an attempted maybe.

[A]

And she violated his boundaries once again. And it. And he snapped. We don't know. We don't know. But this isn't a normal reaction to somebody taking a bite of y'. All. Your. Even the greediest. Even the greediest wouldn't have called the cops there.

[B]

Nobody.

[A]

Trying to think of who. I know that would fight you behind they food. Not even friend. Not even friend would call the police over you taking a bite of her food.

[B]

The police and the police came there and were like, girls, you know, you.

[A]

Didn'T call me over. Ain't nobody shooting. I'm going home. You pulled me out. I'm. Well, no. The police probably getting triple overtime on Thanksgiving. So I know he was like, I'm glad if this is. If this is the worst thing I see today. Amen. But child, what a mess. I see why. Yeah, this is very soul foodish. Good luck to you moving forward. And if you find out why your brother is so pissed, please do. For my own curiosity, let us know.

[B]

I have to know.

[A]

Oh my God. That'll wrap up the letters for this week. Again, if you have a question for us, send it to askthereadmail.com. we'll be right back.

[B]

All right, folks, we are back and it's time for the read. Mine are pretty light hearted and I think relatively simple, so I will try to do them quick and get them out the way. 1. There is a show on Amazon Prime Video called Secret Level. This is a show that came out this year, last year. It's like an anthology series from the creators of Love Death Robots where every episode is based on a popular video game. And when it was sold to us, it's like, oh, anthology thing. And this is going to be based on this game. That was going to be. I was very excited. Obviously, as a gamer, show's been out for a while now. I enjoyed season one, but I don't feel like it made a huge impact. And I will say why. I feel like y' all didn't make episodes. You didn't make enough episodes based on games that people know and love. Like you have a Warhammer episode in this, which is. Was really good. You have an Armored Core episode in it which was really good. You have an episode for Concord which came and went before this show even came out. So like, and that was a really great episode too. But then you have like a Pac man episode and that might be like the only one featuring a game that you've heard of.

[A]

Of. Okay.

[B]

There'S no, there's no Warcraft. What was it? Dungeons and Dragons. I think there's like a Counter Strike episode. There's an episode for like a lot of like newer series, newer game series. A lot of like really niche titles. I like what they did with Pac man, making it kind of this dark labyrinthian spin on the idea. I would love a season 2Amazon and I'd love if you would widen the content so at least you can bring in some folks who'd be like, oh yeah, I've heard of Crash Bandicoot. Oh yeah, I play Animal Crossing. Oh, what a 15 minute short based on Breath of the Wild. I don't know if you'll do Nintendo, but you get what I'm saying? Like, oh, this episode is based on. I can't think of either. Snake. This one is an episode that is based on. I'm blanking right now. Spyro the Dragon. This one is based on a little game called Goldeneye. This one is based on Yoshi's story. I don't know. Mario Kart I don't know, like, get the games that the girlies like or like, where's like an old, old ass, old video game.

[A]

Legend of Zelda.

[B]

Like classic.

[A]

The ding ding. Pong.

[B]

I think I said Pong.

[A]

Tetris, Galaga.

[B]

Tetris is a good one. Duck Hunt could be. You know what I mean? They go for things to be like, oh, yeah, yeah. Things that people like.

[A]

This is all Nintendo.

[B]

Donkey Kong is a good one.

[A]

You can tell what I played.

[B]

Wave Race. Just like throwing stuff.

[A]

That.

[B]

That's classic my brain. I did it. I should have, like, thought of good ideas before I did.

[A]

Tecmo Ball.

[B]

Like, like, yeah. FIFA. I don't know.

[A]

Mike Tyson's punch out.

[B]

Mike Tyson's punch out. Maybe not that.

[A]

Okay, yeah, I don't really understand what you're saying, but I'm just naming games.

[B]

Final Fantasy. If you make a game for like or make a episode for game that just came out last month, it's not is hype. I can't go like, oh, Crystal, you should watch the show. Secret level. It's like based on a whole bunch of video games and she's gonna recognize one out of the 12. It's not.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Even as a gamer, there was like maybe three or four episodes where I was like, I don't even know what game this is. But fine. Okay, cool, we're here.

[A]

That makes sense, man.

[B]

And then my second read is, ooh, how do I even word this one? I want to beg the developer, software developers to consider broadening accessibility settings for your user interface. Interfaces. Specifically when it comes to things like caption size, caption styles, caption colors. When it comes to things like icons on a screen. I'll give you an example. The PlayStation 5 and probably 4 has this weird thing where games that you have installed on your PlayStation are in like this one side of the game library called I think library or something. And then right next to it, it has a section called Collection, which is basically everything that you have purchased.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

You just don't have that.

[A]

You have. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

For some reason the stuff that's installed on the PlayStation, I think the Switch does this too. The icons as you have for the installed games are, are different than the ones in the section that says collection. And I don't know why, but the collection icons are all gorgeous, lovely. Makes sense. When you install the game, the icons are different and they're all ugly. Like, I don't know. I don't know why and I know this doesn't sound sensible I'm probably explaining it terribly, but it's like, imagine if you have a new TV and you're going to like the app thing on your TV to download Netflix. And when you go to the store with all the apps on it, Netflix has this gorgeous icon for it where it's red and the colors all light up and they glittery and it's all perfect. And then when you install it and you go to home, the icon is just a red end or just like, completely ugly and you can't change it. And you're like, well, why are they two different icons in the first place? And why is that one pretty and this one's ugly? The one I have to see all the time is the ugly one. That doesn't make any sense. Why can't I just change it? So here's the thing. I think I possibly ocd, add, adhd. I have the disorders, okay? And I would like it if those of us who do struggle with these types of things had more ability to rearrange, organize and customize the interfaces of the devices that we use. For instance, the Nintendo Switch and Nintendo Switch 2. Now, you can't organize your home screen. I can't just, like, put the games I'm currently playing and focused on in an order on the home screen.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Why? Why? Because my brain. I will play I don't know how many games the home screen of your Nintendo. Let's say it holds like 10. I have many. And I'll bounce around playing a couple games on a Saturday or something like that. Next thing you know, Tears of the Kingdom is way back on the another page somewhere, and I forgot I was playing it. That's just the way that my brain works. I don't feel like it needs to be that way. I feel like you guys could probably pay your developers what they're worth.

[A]

Damn. Okay?

[B]

And then we'd probably not have these issues anyway. I'm done.

[A]

Okay. Real quickly for me as well, just a few things. First of all, Texas, this Nicole, this Representative Collier thing, where this woman ended up spending the night inside the Texas Capitol because y' all wanted her to sign some sort of permission slip where she would be under the. In the custody or under escort by the Texas Department of Public Safety. And this other. Are y' all out of your fucking minds? Not letting this woman leave. This is illegal. Yeah, some sort of retribution for them. Not allow for the Texas Democrats. Not allowing y' all to. To gerrymander their fucking state. This is fully insane. This woman had to spend the night in this building because she was the only person who wouldn't sign this slip. And. And so is just simply not allowed to leave. Like, this is. Are y'. All. Are y' all for real? They straight up told this woman, if you leave the Capitol without signing this slip, you are subject to being arrested. Meanwhile, her attorneys are like, so actually, in Texas, if lawmakers are not in the Capitol, but they're supposed to be, they can face civil arrest. But there is absolutely nothing on the books that says you can arrest or otherwise compel a member who is currently present to stay in the building. Shout out to the other Democrats for realizing that this was up. After this woman spent the night there and told they permission slips up and rah, rah, rah, we support Nicole. All this. It should have never even got to that point. And it's always a black woman being like, if. If don't nobody else put they foot down against this tyrannical bullshit, it's gonna be me. It's always. It's always one of us.

[B]

I guess I'll deal with it.

[A]

Because all y' all are really doing is bowing down, sucking Trump dick, staying dedicated to MAGA and the MAGA agenda, which. Let's all stay focused here is an agenda made up of half dumbassery and half evil. Do you know this, Trump? This actually is a lovely segue into the next part of my read. Do you know that when Trump. And every time I say Vladimir Putin's name, somebody's like, why do you say it like that? Because I'm from Oklahoma. I'm sorry. We won't talk right Friday morning. I don't know. Don't give me the line. I fuck up.

[B]

I thought you said it right just now.

[A]

I mean, perhaps I did, but somebody's always like, no, you said it wrong. Like, at some point, y' all gonna understand that I'm from the sticks and we don't say things right. But Friday morning, when these niggas were in Alaska, I don't know, jerking each other off, whatever it is they did. Papers with U.S. state Department markings were found on the printer in the business center of this hotel. 8 pages detailing precise locations, meeting times.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

Phone numbers just like, baby, what Y' all are this inept. Somebody. Somebody was just printing shit off. Like, oh, here go a picture of my kid. Here go my itinerary for after I leave Alaska. Oh, yeah. Add to this packet for the summit between these two heads of state. Let's just print all that off and then forget it and leave it there like It's a permission slip for your kid to go on a field trip. What?

[B]

This planet is embarrassing. Mostly this country, this part of it.

[A]

But it's, it's. Something went so horribly wrong that all the European leaders were like, let's get on the first jet to Washington D.C. and have a conversation. Because everybody outside of America is looking at we're doing over here and going, are you okay? The answer is no, we're not. Look at what this country is allowing to continue to happen on a daily basis with this motherfucker in office. Look at the absolute ineptitude that we are being subject to by these people leaving documents on the printer. It's beyond sloppy. It's beyond lazy. Somebody who was in their very first day being a secretary or executive assistant wouldn't have made that mistake, much less for the goddamn President. But you see how when you let, let just some dumbass with a bunch of felonies be president, everybody around him is similarly incompetent. You see?

[B]

Yeah, that's what I was just about to say is like, when he just decided to fill his administration with people he found in the Everglades. It's like, well, what are you supposed to do with that?

[A]

Nobody cares about security protocol. We just doing whatever out here. We just remember when they added a journalist to the fucking group chat because his name was, was Joseph or something and it was somebody else named Joseph and they added the wrong Joseph. You bitches are discussing matters of national security with a rando.

[B]

Party.

[A]

That's how unserious this is. We might as well be having a conversation in the workroom. We might as well be chit chatting in front of Ruther Paul and, and, and scheming on how to eliminate the, the most qualified bitch here. Like, this is what we, this is the reality show we're living in.

[B]

It's.

[A]

I, I, I can't believe it.

[B]

It's very overwhelming.

[A]

Last but not least, I mentioned this briefly when I was cussing Oklahoma out a few weeks ago and approximately 900,000 of you texted me or texted tagged me. Oh God. If y' all ever get my number. Oh God. Oh God, Right? Don't even joke about that. Anyway, it has come out. I mentioned it very briefly, but Oklahoma is requiring teacher certification applicants. So people who are moving to Oklahoma from California and New York, it's probably 30 people total leaving New York or California to go to Oklahoma. Yeah, if you want to save money, you can go to somewhere else. Oklahoma's cheap, but you can go somewhere else. Anyway. We are requiring Oklahoma is requiring these applicants who want their teacher certification to pass an Exam administered by PragerU, which is a conservative non profit. It is designed to safeguard against radical leftist ideology. And basically they're making sure that if you are coming from one of these liberal states, you're not going to come over here and teach our kids that being trans is okay and being. Being gay won't send you to hell. You know, that you'll teach according to the Bible and the ten Commandments and all this. And y' all said. Didn't Crystal just cuss out Oklahoma and talked about how they 50th in education and they lucky they not dead last. Y' all two breaths ahead of New Mexico because they counting D.C. in this. And y' all are like at the death. Yes, I did. Yes I did. You have to understand, we don't. There's no such thing as public education in Oklahoma. Whatever it is we doing down there with them kids now, it is an education vaccinating them. It's, it's. It's vacation Bible school as far as I'm concerned. Year round with them kids. What the. You ought to be glad anybody wants to move to Oklahoma in the first place. People in Oklahoma don't want to live there. If they could get out and afford to live somewhere else, damn near everybody I know would have done that. And the ones who can go to Texas, you can move to North Texas and your expenses go up by like $2,000 a year. Like people get out you bleeding citizens. Because look at how stupid this is. You ought to be glad people with degrees even want to come to the state. This is just more of we saying it so that all of you liberals don't come here and try to come down here and indoctrinate our kids with your message of fairness and everybody's equal. Baby, New Yorkers and Californians don't even want to be there. They'll go somewhere else. There are cheaper states that don't have as many absolute dumb fucks in charge.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A constant embarrassment.

[B]

Like not all, not many, but there are. Absolutely.

[A]

I mean, you can. And if you actually care about educating kids, you're probably not gonna go to a state that has made it so clear with classroom size and curriculum and ideology and funding that they don't give a fuck about these kids. You'd probably go to a state where the legislators are at least pretending to give a shit about what happens to these children.

[B]

Probably.

[A]

We don't even want to go, girl. Do you understand? Please. Never mind. Never mind that was about to fall on deaf ears. I was gonna say, please stop embarrassing me. Please prioritize the people who actually live and work and love Oklahoma over this dumb hatred for the sake of hatred. But y' all not gonna do it. So let me just wrap it up. Let me just wrap it up. That is it for me. And that's it for this week's episode of the Read. Find us on social media at this is the Read. Our website is. This is the read.com. any announcements from you, Kid Fury, before we head out?

[B]

Fuck Mussolini with his dead ass.

[A]

Party. All right, girly pops, take care of yourselves. We will see y' all next week.