Kim Fields (3:33)

Yes, we are. Send your questions to askthereadmail.com we may read them aloud on the show. Our first letter this week comes from Bridget. And Bridget says, Dear Chris Lyn kiff, I'm a 35 year old woman who is starting to lose it a little bit with all the babies popping out around me. All of my friends are getting pregnant, starting families and falling off the map. Well, people I used to spend a lot of time with feel very distant to me. All of the plans now are very one sided and initiated by me. And I'm lucky if these parents don't flake. If we do manage to go out, people are now only able to talk about diapers or how sick their toddler is. Again. These people used to be vibrant and interesting, but now they are deeply exhausted and ready for bed by 8. Now I understand this is their world and I know how much work it is to raise kids. I'm learning to accept the reality of my age and that people will naturally start families. I feel selfish and somewhat unreasonable at times when I want their attention and I just want my old friends back. Every time I hear a pregnancy announcement, I think to myself, well, there goes another one. Times are tough, childcare is expensive, etc. But getting them away from their kids seems like a huge hurdle. As two childless millennials, how do y'all navigate this? Do your friends with kids feel distant to you? I live in a small city and I see the domestic pipeline is so strong here compared to New York or la. I think I need more childless and fun people in my life. It's not that I mind doing some activities with kids. I also just prefer the company of adults and doing adult things. Any advice would be so appreciated. Love y'all so much, Bridget.

Countess Vaughn (5:06)

Yeah, I feel like you'll have more advice for Bridget because I just don't go outside and that helps.

Kim Fields (5:15)

But you have friends. Some of your friends have kids.

Countess Vaughn (5:19)

Yeah, but I don't involve myself in any of that.

Kim Fields (5:23)

Well, that's Bridget's problem.

Countess Vaughn (5:27)

That's what I'm saying. I don't know if.

Kim Fields (5:29)

Okay, I got you. Well, first of all, I'll say this makes. It makes sense. You know, you're 35, you're used to living in a certain way. But yeah, people that age, you know, if you're going to have kids, usually have them by then, so it makes sense how you're feeling. But I don't. So as far as I have lots of friends who have kids, but in New York City, I. It's really just Jade, like I'm racking my mind to think of who else that I see on a regular basis has kids. It's pretty much just her or the other people have, like, grown kids in their early 20s or something. So it's not the same. And yeah, I think there's a certain. There's a. There's a certain grieving here of, like, the people you used to love to hang out with simply don't have the same time, the same priorities. That's natural. But you can't be the only person in your small town who doesn't have kids. I would. I would try to maintain the same relationships that I do have. And you're right, it's different in giant cities because I'm sure if I went back to Oklahoma City, it would be more like 80% of my friends had kids, as opposed to 0.1. But. But. So I would. I would try to maintain those same relationships. You may have to just go do kid shit with them, especially if the kids are very young. Yeah, you just gonna have to go see Bluey on Ice. Like, you're just gonna have to go, like.

Countess Vaughn (7:02)

And just bring Casamigos in a fucking cup like.

Kim Fields (7:05)

Like all the other aunties, you know.

Countess Vaughn (7:07)

Like all the other aunties.

Kim Fields (7:09)

You bring your vape anyway. You stick your vape under your titty. That's just.

Countess Vaughn (7:13)

You make a way. You find a way. That's the thing, too. Like, you're just. You're so right. Cause I, like, almost every parent that I know that's friends with me, have their method of, like, making sure that this child doesn't explode. But also, you know, the having mama gotta have a life, too. Is it easy? Hell, the fuck no. Doesn't sound like it looks. But you. It's. It sounds like maybe you try to inquire into some of the life hacks.

Kim Fields (7:45)

Yeah, I. So if you want to maintain these same friendships, you know, especially when the kids are younger, you're probably going to have to do more kids stuff. But I would encourage you to make new friends as well. Because. Because the people who have kids, you know, they're just always going to. And there will be times where they flake. Yes. And. And there. And yes. Sometimes they lie and they use their kids as an excuse to flake because of whatever else is going on. But you know, you can do that, right? You have built an excuse. You can always say, oh, my kid came home from kindergarten coffin. And everybody is like, how about you stay home? You. You actually don't come out for drinks.

Countess Vaughn (8:27)

Oh, the baby got sepsis. I gotta.

Kim Fields (8:31)

Oh, oh, okay. Are y'all in the er? Is that something? Is that something? Where you gotta get hooked up, but.

Countess Vaughn (8:39)

They just call me, I gotta go.

Kim Fields (8:41)

Yeah. So, I mean, unfortunately, the balance between the two of you is not quote, unquote fair. But this is also just a natural part of life and you adjust in the ways that you can and you make new friends who can still have, you know, share similar goals or hobbies or whatever else. But, yeah, it sounds like you're. You're low key. Like, almost starting to resent these people or resent their kids. Like, saying that you feel.

Countess Vaughn (9:15)

Yeah.

Kim Fields (9:15)

Selfish and unreasonable for wanting their attention. That, like, it's good that you know that and you can acknowledge that feeling. But if you can work through that with somebody, that would be really helpful because it's not, you know, that's not something to be mad at your friends for. For having on average and their attention.

Countess Vaughn (9:31)

Being diverted on average. Your friends with children would love to just put those kids inside of a sci Fi pod where they're just. They don't move and they're healthy and then just go run the streets with you on a weekend. Like most par. Wish they could just go out and get, you know, stark raving drunk or high and wide open or whatever. But they have children and they also love those children in many cases. And that's where their priorities are. Because again, they have to keep those kids from falling on a bed of knives. Right. You know, like Crystal said, it may not be fair, but like Naomi Small said, life's not there.

Kim Fields (10:23)

Oh, well, yes, shout out to Naomi. Sm. She. She knew. But good luck, Bridget, with figuring that.

Countess Vaughn (10:30)

Out lipped Manila Luzon right when the girls thought it was her. Sorry, irrelevant.

Kim Fields (10:36)

I actually felt from. At a certain point, I actually did feel bad for Manila.

Countess Vaughn (10:40)

Like, y'all, I didn't give two living shits. I thought it was hilarious.

Kim Fields (10:43)

Oh, God. Well, you know, entertainment value. That is what reality TV is for.

Countess Vaughn (10:48)

You know what's even funnier? When homegirl, when Latrice got chopped and Manila was like.

Kim Fields (10:55)

Oh, yeah, she was devastating.

Countess Vaughn (10:56)

When Latrice got chopped, Manila was crying like she was so heartbroken behind it. Baby Naomi chopped. She came back and Naomi chopped Manila's ass like two, three episodes later while Treece was in there drinking her goddamn absolute vodka. Like. Well, I don't really know what to tell. Tell the girls.

Kim Fields (11:17)

Competition happen.

Countess Vaughn (11:19)

What's for lunch, girl? Fierce. I'm sorry. Continue.

Kim Fields (11:24)

What a mess. All right, thanks, Bridget. Let us know, I guess, how these conversations go. Here's one from a parent. Maybe it'll help you feel better about the situation. You're in. Claire says, hey y'all. I'm a 33 year old stay at home mother of three.

Countess Vaughn (11:43)

Jesus Christ.

Kim Fields (11:44)

I have two toddlers and a two month old.

Countess Vaughn (11:47)

What the hell are you? Yep.

Kim Fields (11:49)

Since I stay at home, my husband works and pays all the bills and for the most part we're fine. But after having my third C section, I've been slipping in household chores. Sus right. Having your belly spilled a lot. Three times.

Countess Vaughn (12:03)

Are they even allowed to do. Can you. Are you. Can you do that?

Kim Fields (12:07)

Yeah. Yeah, you can. You sure can. My mama had so yeah. After my third, I've been slipping in household chores and battling postpartum and my husband and I have been arguing more. He believes two months is more than enough time for me to bounce back while simultaneously homeschooling two toddlers.

Countess Vaughn (12:30)

I can't do this. After expressing my thought was like oh, shoot him.

Kim Fields (12:35)

Yeah, you say you have a problem, but there's a very easy solution. After expressing my feelings of utter despair, his usual response is, your life is not hard enough since he pays for everything and I'm only sad because I'm not praying enough. Wait, no. Your life is not hard since he pays for everything and I'm only sad because I'm not praying enough. I usually just say okay and let that shit go in one ear and out the other. But lately I've been speaking up about the feelings being persistent even though I pray and it always sparks an argument. He raises his voice, reminds me I have no money and tells me I'm not being a good example for our daughters. I don't have many friends and after telling some of my family, they usually say that it's hard for them to believe it because he's so nice to them. I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm worrying that it's leaking into my mothering. My three year old daughter usually hears the arguing and will pat my head if I begin to cry. Oh my God. I know I need to speak to someone, but I don't know where to start. Do I do marriage counseling? If I do, what will I tell? What if I do? Well, what I tell the counselor stay between us. Is there something to look for in searching for a counselor? Love you both so much. Claire, why can't answer one of those Your what you say to the counselor will stay between you except in cases of where you are a danger.

Countess Vaughn (13:59)

I'm emergency.

Kim Fields (14:00)

Yes, if you're planning to hurt others or yourself, that sort of thing. But you know and I think in.

Countess Vaughn (14:08)

Most cases, they'll tell you that, too.

Kim Fields (14:09)

Yeah, they will tell you when you first go in. They'll go over, like, the exceptions to confidentiality. But you can go in there and say, I was mad at my husband, so I, the waiter at Applebee's, and your counselor will not tell nobody. So.

Countess Vaughn (14:23)

But if you say, I'm mad at my husband, so I stabbed him in his sleep last night, your therapist is gonna go, okay, so I have to call the police now.

Kim Fields (14:30)

Like, I wish you had told me that you had committed a crime before you told me the crime, because unfortunately, now I'm in it, I'm gonna have to go testify because you just told me that you murdered your man. So would you say you heard that on a podcast? Interesting.

Countess Vaughn (14:50)

There's absolutely nothing wrong for the way that you feel this person is abusing you emotionally and verbally.

Kim Fields (14:58)

Sounds like financially, too.

Countess Vaughn (14:59)

And financially. And it's insane, it's disgusting, and it's normalized because of the thing that we call patriarchy. And so that's probably another part of the reason why people, like, even your family are like, yeah, we've known you your whole life, and, you know, you, I guess, have seemed to have whatever form of sense, but he's super nice, right? So you're a liar. It's just. It's ridiculous. So counseling. I'll let Crystal handle that, though. That part of, like, the suggestion. Because, again, truly, for me, the solutions are violent. They're all violent. They're all violent and mostly criminal because you were sliced open thrice. I'm sorry, One more time. They chopped your ass open three fucking times to snatch out that nigga's big head. I'm sorry, that nigga's baby, your life ar. So when he's going to. Whatever job that he does and he's, you know, working and bringing home the bacon, are you not making sure that the home is clean enough for the bacon? Making sure that the kitchen is prepared for the bacon.

Kim Fields (16:34)

Come on.

Countess Vaughn (16:37)

Making sure that the babies are alive and healthy enough to eat the bacon. Seasoning and preparing the bacon. Cooking and plating the bacon. Like, bitch, you.

C (16:53)

You're.

Countess Vaughn (16:54)

What are you talking about? Not only. I have things to do here, too. Not only that, but I also have to deal with your ignorant ass. So in what world is my life not hard? Do you want to die tonight or tomorrow? Do you see how I can't help you?

Kim Fields (17:10)

You know, I'm so glad you are emphasizing this point, because baby Claire, you asked about, you know, should you go to couples Counseling. I'm not seeing. Okay. Okay. I'm. What I. What I'm not seeing here is a man who seems like he would actually be willing to change there sounds like if you all went to counseling, he would demand that he chooses the counselor. Probably some Christian quote unquote counselor or something, since he thinks all you need to do for postpartum depression is pray it away. He probably would want you to go to, like, a religious counselor that's not necessarily going to be focused on you and may be more focused on making sure that, you know, y'all are living according to the Bible or whatever. So there's. There's that. That I think is in your way. And there's also the fact that, like Kiff Yuri just described, you literally went through major surgery three fucking times. And he's mad at you because two months after your most recent one, you not sweeping up the kitchen floor as much as you used to. Like, do you. You. I hope us talking about it and you listening to us makes you realize how fucking insane that is, girl.

Countess Vaughn (18:31)

Insane.

Kim Fields (18:32)

Your whole middle was just split open to deliver a human into this world. And this nigga is mad because it's still toothpaste splatter marks on the mirror when he got home from work. What? Let me tell you something. You could have had that baby naturally and bounced back two days later, and still you have two toddlers and a newborn. So as far as I'm concerned, your house could look like hell. Hell, one toddler is enough. Two toddlers and a newborn. Y'all gonna have to drug and sedate me, and that's what.

Countess Vaughn (19:07)

And that's not even bringing up the postpartum.

Kim Fields (19:10)

Yes, that's not even getting to postpartum. And you don't have a supportive spouse on top of that, so that makes everything so much worse. Yes, you don't have to pay the bills, but you have to pay in every other fucking way. You have to pay with your peace of mind, with. With. With your sense of safety for yourself and your babies. Like, you are paying in ways that you absolutely do not deserve. So I. I'm gonna be very real with you. I would. I would. If you don't have anything to. Well, God damn. I can't even say that. I was about to say you have nothing to lose, but I went to.

Countess Vaughn (19:47)

This in my head, like, 60 seconds ago.

Kim Fields (19:53)

It sounds. The problem is that it sounds like without your man, you're really gonna be struggling to provide for these children, you know, in the material ways. So I'm Hoping you have some family or somebody maybe you could stay with. You could try marriage counseling. I was going to say it couldn't hurt, but it could. Actually. There's. Especially if y'all go to somebody who is just like, yeah, the woman's body was made to birth. So act like you care about your husband and your children and fulfill your godly oath or whatever.

C (20:24)

I.

Kim Fields (20:25)

That will make things so much worse for you.

Countess Vaughn (20:28)

Now I gotta kill you, too.

Kim Fields (20:31)

So, something to look for in search of a counselor. Somebody who has lots of experience working with couples and somebody who, as far as I'm concerned, believes that the ultimate goal is for y'all to stay together or for you to reconcile whatever issues are in your marriage, but that in certain cases, reconciliation is not possible and not safe. Somebody who is not. Like, the goal of therapy is for y'all to stay together, period. No, a lot of times y'all need to go to therapy because y'all need to realize that you're better separate from each other. So if you.

Countess Vaughn (21:05)

That's a word.

Kim Fields (21:06)

So you need to. Your sound. Your husband sounds very controlling. Like, you wouldn't be able to have that kind of freedom to pick out a therapist. And so that's why I'm saying, if you have somebody you can go to, pack up you and your babies and go stay with them, that would be the thing I would recommend to you over anything else. If not, try to separate in your mind, like, this is so hard, too, because, again, you are so overwhelmed with your reality. To top, you didn't say their ages, but toddler means, like, not old enough to go to school. God damn. Two of them and a newborn. You're dealing with so much mentally already, but if you can compartmentalize and be like, you know, my husband does these things that I really appreciate. My husband does these things that I really don't appreciate. And if the bad outweighs the good, then I just need to bide my time, do whatever I need to do until I'm in a place where I can separate me and my babies from this situation. But it's not easy. So I'm sending you all the love and support in the world, because this is. This sounds dreadful. So fucking hard to deal with.

Countess Vaughn (22:10)

And so common. And so common.

Kim Fields (22:13)

Exactly how I was gonna end that sentence. It's more people than, you know, dealing with the same thing. I don't want to say worse, but a lot of. There are people in your situation who are also going to work and. And. And still dealing with a man who Is controlling and manipulative and all that. Not saying one is better than the other, but this is not an easy position to be in. So sending you the best babe. If you can get counseling, maybe try it. But I in my heart of hearts, this nigga sounds like somebody you don't need to be around. Sounds like if you can get like. How do you look at somebody who had a baby two months ago and tell them. Not sure what your issue is, but they disabled and you know that they.

Countess Vaughn (23:00)

Were disseded for the third time to remove these people.

Kim Fields (23:06)

It's really making me cry. It's making me. I'm interested.

Countess Vaughn (23:08)

And you felt like coming home to pester this person. How does that make them healthy enough to make sure your kids are good when you're not in the house? What exactly be wrong with you ungrateful ass fuck niggas?

Kim Fields (23:23)

They're more concerned with their own safe, their own comfort and happiness and the things that they think they need over what their spouse or their children need.

Countess Vaughn (23:33)

Sweetheart, say that and step back and stop trying to act like you're a real man or a real father. And you do all of this and you provide. Providing you bring home that you don't bring home a goddamn thing but a headache.

Kim Fields (23:45)

Okay. Stress. You might find that your life is easy.

Countess Vaughn (23:49)

Shut your full ass.

Kim Fields (23:50)

You might be able to stay on top of the housework if you didn't have a grown ass man to clean up after. It's a whole lot of married women who are like getting divorced actually did not make my life any harder. This man was adding so much bullshit.

Countess Vaughn (24:03)

To my plate, I would get the, you know, the kitchen cleaned quicker in the morning if I didn't have to spend an hour and a half crying and wondering why I married this guy.

Kim Fields (24:15)

Literally. So best of luck.

Countess Vaughn (24:17)

What's wrong?

Kim Fields (24:19)

A lot of things.

Countess Vaughn (24:20)

You like going home and bullying your.

Kim Fields (24:22)

They do. They do. Because it's the only place they have any control or power in their life. Well, because let me tell you something. It's not that these men are just so hurt. They're just struggling so much. He has no option but to take it out. He don't take it out on his damn boss. I bet you that. He know exactly.

Countess Vaughn (24:38)

He don't take it out on his damn raggedy ass, shiftless, ungrateful, terrible ass mammy.

Kim Fields (24:43)

I was about to say. I bet he don't take it out on his own damn parents. I bet he know who to try.

Countess Vaughn (24:50)

He know so why it's got to.

Kim Fields (24:51)

Be you and Right. Exactly. Exactly.

Countess Vaughn (24:53)

It won't be.

Kim Fields (24:54)

It's under this man's control. Please do not make these excuses for him. But best of luck to you and anybody else who's in a similar situation because it is not easy. But remember that you and your children deserve better than that. All bills paid or not, baby, because all money ain't good money.

Countess Vaughn (25:11)

That's that.

Kim Fields (25:12)

All right, let's wrap up the letters right there because we have something so fun to get to this week. Again, if you have a question for us, send it to asktheread gmail.com. we'll be right back.

Countess Vaughn (25:21)

Hey, guys. This episode is brought to you by Target.

Kim Fields (25:25)

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Countess Vaughn (26:07)

That's right. And I always love it, seeing our things in the Target because, you know, I like shopping at the Target.

Kim Fields (26:14)

And we deserve and we deserve Target's.

Countess Vaughn (26:17)

Black History Month collection because the more we come together, the more we create together. Discover the Black History Month collection now@www.target.com. black Beyond Measure.

Kim Fields (26:30)

Hey, y'all. One of my favorite things about doing this show is being able to have creative control and getting to connect with my friend. And y'all know how we always start talking about one thing and then we go off into tangents about nine other things, and we get to really explore the topics that mean a lot to us and have amazing guests on from time to time. It's just so much fun and creatively, it's very fulfilling. If you own your own business, you might understand and you want to hire employees who also love what they do to boost the overall success of your business, plus make it a pretty great place to work. But how do you find passionate employees who are a good fit for all of your roles? Girl, ZipRecruiter. Obviously, ZipRecruiter is the hiring site employers prefer the Most based on G2. Their powerful matching technology works fast to find top talent, so you don't waste your hard earned time or money. See a candidate who'd be perfect for your job. You can use ziprecruiters pre written Invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates. So hire experienced people who are excited about what they do with ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on SuperCruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. See for yourself. Go to this exclusive web address to try ZipRecruiter for free. ZipRecruiter.com/the read again, that's ZipRecruiter.com t h e r e a d ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire. So go hire somebody smart. All right, let's get back to the show.

Countess Vaughn (27:54)

This podcast is sponsored and brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to succeed online. And boy, y'all are hitting all kinds of licks these days. So for your brand new courtesy of TikTok company puppy socks and kitten hats. You're going to need a place to house that information and product. And you can get 10% off of your first purchase of a website or domain@squarespace.com the Read Introducing Design Intelligence from Squarespace. Combining two decades of industry leading design expertise with cutting edge AI technology to unlock your strongest creative potential. You don't even have to do the work. Squarespace is ready to do the work for you. Okay, so all you have to do is just crochet them puppy socks and let Squarespace do the rest. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch squarespace.com3 to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain, let them know we sent you. Welcome back to the show. It's been a while since we've done one of these because we only do it for people that we respect and give a shit about. And there aren't many of those folks. So happy to say that today we have an extra special guest. Again, the one, the only, the incredibly talented, your favorite, favorite cousin on your daddy side.

C (29:34)

Mm.

Countess Vaughn (29:35)

It's Duran Bernard. Grammy nominated songwriter, Glaad Award nominated. Excuse the girls, it's Duran Bernard. He's in the studio with us.

C (29:51)

Good to be here.

Countess Vaughn (29:52)

Yes. Finally having you on the pod. So excited.

Kim Fields (29:56)

Good to have you and excited to talk about this new project and some of the other stuff you've been doing. But I want to jump right into bloom because there's so much going on here. And I noticed, first of all, everything about you. For the people who don't know you, you've probably seen his tiny desk. The tiny desk is iconic. Uncle Bobby and Aunt.

Countess Vaughn (30:17)

Oh, my God.

Kim Fields (30:18)

But your whole vibe gives me like, Duran just stepped right out of 1977. And this album, this project, reminds me of that because these songs are. They're not long, but in this modern era, they're long. They're like four minute minimum for these songs. And so you, you, you come right at us. I said this last week at the live show that if your album does not have a solid opener, how am I supposed to trust the rest of.

Countess Vaughn (30:45)

She did say this.

Kim Fields (30:47)

I just said that. I just said because I was talking about somebody else who is not as talented as you are. Right.

Countess Vaughn (30:54)

Ouch.

Kim Fields (30:54)

But your opener, Generous, immediately pulled me in with its message of keeping an open heart after being hurt. It's one of my favorites on the whole project. And especially this refrain of I won't become what I've been through is so powerful. It's one of the hardest things for people to do if you've ever been abused, especially earlier in life. So I would love to hear you talk a little bit more about making Generous because it is really a message that I think most people need to hear.

C (31:20)

Yeah. No, no, thank you. Thank you for that.

Kim Fields (31:23)

Of course.

C (31:24)

Generous was a record that was customized just for me, with me in mind. Produced by Chuck Harmony work.

Kim Fields (31:36)

Come on in the room.

Countess Vaughn (31:38)

We're fans.

C (31:39)

You know, Parson James wrote the first half of it, and then I did the refrain at the end. I won what I went through, and I orchestrated that to make it go rock. And I think when I hearing it, it really does encompass how I maneuver in life considering things that have happened, considering, you know, expectations and being let down and being in the hands of people who, you know, had no direction of their life. But that shouldn't keep traveling the way that I know I need to. You know, emotionally, mentally, you know, we're only punishing ourselves when we become that very thing that hurt us or that did not know how to handle us properly. So it is a like I'm putting my foot down. It is just so liberating. And then you just get into. It just builds. It is literally four different movements in six minutes. And what I love is people would say when they first heard it, they said, I didn't even realize that six minutes had gone by.

Countess Vaughn (32:45)

Yeah.

C (32:46)

And for that Individual this day and age.

Kim Fields (32:50)

Yeah.

C (32:52)

All people now. People just start putting out interludes.

Countess Vaughn (32:56)

True.

C (32:56)

It literally just at some point and I feel like, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like Rihanna kind of kickstarted it with birthday cake.

Kim Fields (33:08)

Oh. Like a little snippet of a song.

C (33:10)

Of a song. And Beyonce gave us. Beyonce. And then Tamar did. She did that and it was just.

Countess Vaughn (33:15)

Ugh. Ugh.

C (33:16)

And then Rihanna gave us another one with like James Joint.

Countess Vaughn (33:21)

Yeah. James Joint. Yeah.

C (33:22)

Songs that just generate replay value. And so when you out streams and whatnot, then that's what they need. So the shorter the song, the more streams you get. However, I didn't want to get so hell bent on the trend of short songs when these are conversations that need to be had and it's a. It is longer than, you know, 2 minutes and 10 seconds. And I. And I just. I promise people that there will be a reward for sticking around for the whole song.

Kim Fields (33:57)

You gotta help them out. In this social media age, nobody has an attention span anymore. So the music really does have to be powerful and strong to. To hook us right in. And I love what you said about, you know, doing the things anyway, despite how you've been hurt because for a lot of people the first inclination is to shut that sensitive or vulnerable part down or to limit themselves because they've been hurt. And so to, To. To send the message out there that like pushing through is worth it. Working past that anxiety, that depression, that whatever is worth it to. To what's on the other side as opposed to just staying complacent and doing what feels comfortable.

C (34:35)

Because that takes a lot. That take a lot of effort to start doing what you are not. Like you.

Kim Fields (34:43)

Come on, come on.

C (34:44)

A conscious decision. Like you have to think about that. Like I'm going to not. Or I'm going to shut down. And like I. And really, honestly, that comes back to when I say I'm a good leader because I'm an efficient follower. And I'm an efficient follower because I have discernment about who I'm allowing to lead me.

Countess Vaughn (35:06)

Jesus.

Kim Fields (35:07)

Yes.

C (35:08)

So. So it's just about having the discernment. It's just the discernment. And it grows. It has to develop. We have to give ourselves grace.

Kim Fields (35:18)

You have to live.

C (35:19)

You have to live. You're not going to have all the time. And keep in mind, situations are different. It might be similar, but these are also different situations. Even the tiniest detail can make it different.

Countess Vaughn (35:34)

This album, it feels to me as someone who's listened to pretty much everything you drive. This feels like very raw. Particularly raw and emotional. And so much of it feels like, well, God damn it. Fuck. I needed somebody to say this. I've been like, I have been waiting for someone to say this thing and I didn't even know it needed to be said. Unspoken I already told you Unspoken Laid me out on a ground bare in my own puddle Unspoken to me I described. I described it last night like Crystal's cakes. Now, you may not know what that is.

Kim Fields (36:22)

Oh, my God.

Countess Vaughn (36:23)

The throwback Crystal used to make these cheesecake brownies.

Kim Fields (36:29)

Oh, my God. These red velvet cheesecake brownies. And when I tell you, the kids would beg. They would beg me to make these fucking brownies.

Countess Vaughn (36:38)

She was very violent about not making them. But I bring them up because Kia had this hilarious description of these cakes about how rich and decadent they are that, like, you would take one bite of it and be like, woo, I'm full. And put the rest of it back in the fridge.

C (36:59)

It's so rich.

Countess Vaughn (37:00)

It's rich. That's what I feel about a lot of this album. But especially Unspoken. It's just like, ooh, my spirit needs to hear this.

Kim Fields (37:09)

Woo.

Countess Vaughn (37:10)

Okay, I need a nap.

Kim Fields (37:11)

I love that. It's just like.

Countess Vaughn (37:13)

So I really. I want to know what like, the recording process was like for this album, specifically when you had have so much to say spiritually, so much like navigation and awareness that you have through your experience and you're ready to put it into your creativity. Like, what was the recording process for or like for a lot of this music that is really, like, profound.

C (37:41)

So the process was. We took. We booked out two weeks at the studio with my distribution company, Create Music Group, and at different writers and different producers coming in every single day to try to just see what different synergy we could create. And it was new because I'm used to writing myself and then kind of filtering certain people, but to actually be have multiple people in the room throwing out ideas. One person might have the lyrics, the other person might have the melody. I might have been on a roll on my own with an idea and I just needed like a little tweak, you know. This album is the beauty of I did not do this by myself and had people that had a vision of the stories and the subjects that I wanted to talk about and were able to bring that to life. And it's funny that you mentioned Unspoken because that was the shortest song on the album for a very good reason because, you know, I'm Discussing something that hurt me so bad that I write it out so that I wouldn't have to talk about it ever again. Only to have to talk about. Not talk about.

Kim Fields (39:03)

Yeah.

C (39:04)

And I just. Just to give a. Just a title tidbit on that that was about something that I had not healed from. My heart was immensely broken and who I wrote the song about. Actually, it reached out, and we hadn't spoken for almost like a year and some change. And I was talking to my therapist about it, and I was just a blubbering mess. And I missed the call, by the way, when they reached out and, you know, she asked, like, would you have answered? And I was like, well, no, but I have, like, text, you know, because I just can't look. I can't look at him right now. It hurts to. Oh, but. And her. And another friend of mine said, I think that he's. He's coming with an apology, like, because you did not do anything. And so. And sure enough, they both were right. And now I can listen to the song and not feel that hurt or not feel like that wound is being reopened because I actually had a moment of. And I don't like to say closure, but just clarity. I had a moment of clarity also. I had to give grace because I needed grace at some point, and I understood why the things were done. And I realized it had nothing to do with me else's, what they're going through and their own trauma and trying to navigate through it, you know? So it was just like, first of all, I'm glad it wasn't me. Huh? So I'm not crazy, but now I can really move forward with this music and be like, this was a moment, and this is not something that is weighing me down. And so my therapist is going to be very happy about this because, baby, that song out, like, that wore me out.

Countess Vaughn (40:58)

Yeah, I feel you. We've talked about a bit, too. Like, remember we made the comparison of, like, an emotional, spiritual chemical peel.

C (41:07)

Yes.

Countess Vaughn (41:08)

How do I call it? Like.

C (41:09)

Yes, an emotional chemical peel. Like, project is. It is. It's supposed to be a love album, but underneath the surface, it's goddamn therapy. Like, it Arsenal. It is pinching nerves or filling voids that you didn't know that were there. Like, it's. It is a lot. And it is a lot of music to digest, which is why I told everybody, just say the dissertations. Okay. We'll check in on the first. Okay. Because. Okay. And I'll check in at, you know, at the end of the month to See? Okay, what song are we on then? And then, you know, maybe two weeks out, then we can get, you know, make sure everybody got their parts together.

Countess Vaughn (41:46)

Right.

C (41:47)

I'm just grateful that I'm in a position where I can put out a body of work like this. And no one has complained about the length of the songs.

Kim Fields (41:55)

Right. Because they're good songs.

C (41:57)

Thank you. They're like, thank you. Full song. We missed it.

Countess Vaughn (42:02)

Love it. Not that many people could do that.

C (42:07)

Listen. Okay, and that's on Cowboy Carter.

Countess Vaughn (42:09)

Okay. Okay.

Kim Fields (42:11)

So this whole emotional. What'd you say? Was it emotional exfoliation? Emotional chemical peel.

C (42:16)

Ocean. Okay.

Kim Fields (42:18)

I love that phrase. And comparing it to therapy, because in both cases, you go through something that is meant to, like, scrub you down, remove that outer layer, and then you start the healing process. And as anybody who has really put the work in therapy knows that therapy is. Is not quite enough by itself. Like, we heal in community, we heal in relationships. And that's not just romantic relationships. That's also friendships. That's family. Like, I will throw this microphone, baby And. And this album sounds so much. And. And I've heard you say that this is like a love letter to your people, really. With the exception of a few songs that are, you know, a little yearning, a little angsty. But overall, it's a love letter to your family, to your community, the people who helped you learn to love yourself. A source of pride and inspiration. Can you tell us a little bit more about those people? You don't have to get specific if you. If you don't want to, but you know, who. Who is around and how are they supporting you and helping you reach these new levels?

C (43:21)

I can just go and just start at the beginning of when I moved to Los Angeles and I met Mel my first month being out there. And what was interesting but funny about it was before I even met her, I saw her and I was like, I don't know what she on, but I like her. And she was probably just high, like caught out there by Khalees and just on the floor cropped, just jamming the chocolate for real, like just in her mind. And I was like, I don't know who that is, but I like her, but didn't introduce myself. And then from there I got invited to the juice joint and I ended up going and she ended up hosting it. So from there we've just been inseparable and she's become my creative director. She's been my co stylist, she's been my makeup artist. I have been Able to really rest in being supported. I found the people that I found specifically in Los Angeles who are, the majority of them are transplants, but then you also got some real cool ass people that are from there. But I didn't really know what friendship was like, like that until I got into my, into my late 20s, early 30s. And when you have to really nurture relationships, you have to. It's not just we're there within proximity because we're traveling, we're working for ourselves, we're entrepreneurs. So it's the, it's the intention behind wanting to support people that you care about, that, you know, we can call each other, you know, there's. And also I want to shout out my, my friend Liv, who was on my song Vacancy on the Wanderlust project, and she was the first one that exposed me to this kind of love and adoration that you can have for your friends because she expressed to us in a group about how, you know, she had love for her romantic partner, but she was like, I'm also in love with each and every one of you. And it was the first time that a friend had expressed that kind of like, I empathize with you. Like when you have an issue, I have an issue, you know, being able to give them space to be accountable. Like, you know, if you got upset with me or I did something like, you know, put me to the side and just say, hey, friend, what did you mean by this? Or like, I felt this way and giving you the opportunity to move forward. So just a lot of those things, intimate issues have healed, you know, in a way because I've been in situations where I wasn't given the benefit of the doubt or I wasn't given an opportunity to explain myself. And like, you know, niggas was like, eh, I'm not dealing with this, you know, so the idea of, you know, someone still being there. There's even been situations where, you know, I fucked up and I was given grace in a way that was so jarring that I. It actually stressed me out. And I got a sigh, oh, wow. That's how jarring the grace was. Because it's like, wow, I preach grace all the time. I'm telling people to have it for themselves and to be gentle and to be patient and all that. And then when it's time for me to do it, baby, I'm. I like, it was a struggle, but I'm so grateful to have people in my life to even, even when I do fuck up, they're like, hey, Fram, we gonna table this. I love you. You absolutely have me fucked up. But I'm not charging this moment to who you are as a person. Yeah, gonna table this. We gonna celebrate you. But after this, we gonna talk. But right now, I love you still.

Kim Fields (47:12)

Generous friends.

C (47:13)

Baby, baby, baby.

Kim Fields (47:15)

Generous with their love, even you might say.

Countess Vaughn (47:21)

I have a quick sidebar question, because, you know, another one of the things I've always loved about you is how you can effortlessly, effortlessly incorporate your humor in comedy into your music and your performances. And I've brought this up to you before. I just need it on the record. What the hell inspired you to incorporate Countess Vaughn's Jill Scott impression into your shows? It's so niche, it's so specific. But I recognized it the first time I heard it, saw it, and was like, what is wrong with this nigga?

C (48:09)

It counts as Von Stan account. We love counters, babe.

Countess Vaughn (48:12)

We love Countess.

C (48:14)

I mean, just. It's just one of those things where, you know, when people ask, like, if you could live on any sitcom show, like, what would it be? It would be the Parker Parkers. The Parker. Since I also. I love giving people their flowers in my own way. Whether that's an acknowledgment, whether that's an arrangement that I've incorporated, but I also feel like things like Countess, things like Crash Cut, things like certain.

Countess Vaughn (48:44)

Jackie's back.

C (48:45)

Jackie's back. A niche humor and a personality that I'm also speaking to. And I love when we can touch and agree, because when I was in London and I did the Countess vinyl run, there was Baby by like, it was black folks too. And I love the love, y'all. It was about maybe five or six of them that was like. Like, they did me. They were like. And the whole of the rest of the room was like, I'm a good. Okay. Everything else has been for everyone in the room. Vid.

Countess Vaughn (49:20)

Yeah, if you get it, you get it.

C (49:23)

But you can't, you know, you can't be included.

Countess Vaughn (49:25)

Right? Right. Hilarious.

Kim Fields (49:30)

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Countess Vaughn (51:22)

Was if Bloom is a blood relative to the rest of your projects, what kind of family member would Bloom be?

Kim Fields (51:32)

Wow.

C (51:33)

Well I love that. So Bloom is. Oof. Bloom would probably be that is very healthy, has traveled. It seems like everybody knows him, but like the masses don't know who he is. But the people who know who are they know who he is. And he is like you always want to listen because you know that the things that he's going to say are going to have some kind of value or you're going to walk away feeling more enlightened about yourself or more knowledgeable about the world. Like he always has a random fact or tidbit of information. Just like did you know that you know one followed by a hundred zeros is called a googol? That's why they call.

Kim Fields (52:29)

What I did not know that aunt.

C (52:31)

Okay, so you know you go to.

Countess Vaughn (52:36)

School the next day to all your friends.

Kim Fields (52:37)

Did you know that a One volume. Tell them like you knew your whole life.

C (52:41)

Like you knew your whole life, you know, just. Just. It's the. He's. That he's also. He also represents that bridge between, like, the uncles, but not like a. Quite like a elder. Like, they're in that. Like, they're in that middle ground where they're not disconnected, you know, they're connected. They know how to speak to the little ones as well as folks, you know, like, they. They've been. They're connected with themselves, which is why they're other people. And that's what blooms.

Kim Fields (53:17)

And that makes sense because you have to be a black of a certain age to know that. Candace Vaughn reference. You cannot be too young and you cannot be too old and of a.

Countess Vaughn (53:26)

Certain corner, too, because that was like a phone video that someone uploaded of her on set somewhere. It's not even like an episode or something.

C (53:37)

It wasn't right.

Kim Fields (53:38)

You just have to be so online and you just. You just.

C (53:41)

And I did it in my cover of I Like it.

Countess Vaughn (53:45)

Yeah. Even in the Overqualified video, you did the little pose that she does at the end. Like, you feel like, I ain't clocked that shit too. Like, if you get it, you get it.

Kim Fields (53:59)

I cannot.

C (54:00)

When I say, y'all be catching stuff. I wonder if the drumstick that I had on my finger in the therapy.

Countess Vaughn (54:10)

Chair, someone is going to be in one of your mansions somewhere and be like, I saw that chicken. Listen.

Kim Fields (54:19)

I lied.

C (54:19)

Work when you're flat.

Kim Fields (54:20)

You're fired.

C (54:21)

Okay.

Countess Vaughn (54:24)

Give the drum.

C (54:26)

Amen.

Kim Fields (54:27)

Oh, my God. I just love that this is who you are.

Countess Vaughn (54:33)

Like, it's.

Kim Fields (54:34)

This is just. It's just pure derang.

Countess Vaughn (54:36)

I call him Prince. L. Prince Jennifer. Luther Vandross.

C (54:42)

Literally, fiercely. No. If we could combine Luther and Jennifer Lewis, like, the healthy and awareness of Jennifer and then like, just the sad. The. Oh, man. Luther was just. I know I stand on this. Luther would have loved me, of course.

Kim Fields (55:07)

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Countess Vaughn (55:09)

Luther loved all three of these people.

C (55:11)

I would have. Cause I still need to. I still need to hang with Jennifer. Jennifer Lewis. Like, oh, she's great.

Countess Vaughn (55:17)

I feel like y'all will be up all night just screaming. I could literally see you and Jennifer, 3:30am Just banging the keyboard and hollering dead ass. Yeah, seriously. I can't wait.

Kim Fields (55:31)

Just on YouTube.

Countess Vaughn (55:32)

I can't wait.

C (55:33)

Listen.

Kim Fields (55:34)

Just making up songs. So. So to. To kind of get back to the album and wrap things up a bit. Is there any song in particular that maybe took you the longest to finish or you were kind of going back and forth about like, is this really what I want to say? Or something needs to be tweaked. I know how artists can be getting things just right. Or was there anything that came up when you were trying to figure out the sequencing, where you were like, mm, I don't really know what I'm gonna do, anything like that.

C (55:59)

So for the sequencing, I knew certain songs had to be together. I knew for sure Generous was gonna open it.

Kim Fields (56:09)

Yes. Amen. Come on.

C (56:11)

Come on.

Kim Fields (56:12)

Sorry.

C (56:13)

And Home Alone had to. To close out the album.

Kim Fields (56:15)

Yes. I'm just so glad you saw how I felt.

C (56:20)

And then I'm like, okay. There are other things going on in the story. Flounce right after Generous, because I love Flowns. A. Same key, two. It gives us a moment to kind of breathe, like, okay, we went through all of that. We're entering into the garden. This is how we get down over here. Like, we water each other. We nurture one another. Like, that's what it is. And then also within the garden, there's gonna be impact, and that's come with impact. After impact, we have jump and no business, which are, like, polar opposite. I'm telling someone about not being able to be around love but not in it. And then on the other side of that, I'm explaining my story of how I needed to compartmentalize being romantic with someone versus being affectionate with them. After completed, we have Reaching Again. Same key, but gives us a beat. After you've gone through all of that. Okay. Ooh, bitch. Okay. I can breathe, I can. I can sway and I can. Yeah, I'll say my pro. I said the one that probably took me the most through it was Blast.

Kim Fields (57:25)

I love blasting. I was just bopping to that.

C (57:28)

Yeah. Now, Blast is one of my favorites because it's. It again takes you through different movements. It's a song that I wrote from having a little bit of anxiety because, like I said, I heard a friend of mine, and we were kind of, like, taking a beat to kind of breathe. And I didn't know if I was going to have a friendship to come back to or not. And so I'm kind of just you know, reflecting how they were, you know, instrumental in my life, all these things. And if I don't have a, you know, a friendship to come back to, baby, I want you to know I had a blast. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. I have not lived and loved like I. And I bet you I won't never do that shit no more.

Kim Fields (58:18)

Yes. That's What I love about it, that it sounds. It sounds so grateful but also kind of wistful and a little sad and almost like, I wish I didn't have to be saying this, but, yeah, the party is over. I did have fun, and thank you so much.

C (58:33)

Yeah. Okay.

Kim Fields (58:34)

I love that. I love it.

C (58:37)

And I just want to say. I want to say this to two things, and I don't think I've shared this with you, but I want to share this with you now on the show. Number one leveled from Wanderlust is the most perfect song I've ever created, ever. Like, there are beautiful records on Bloom, but it's everything that encompassed that song. And I want to say, Fury, you were a part of the inspiration behind those lyrics.

Countess Vaughn (59:08)

Really?

C (59:09)

Yes. When we were talking about grace and being brought in and, you know, just when we hadn't seen each other and we ran into each other in the club and you were, like, just pouring into me, and I had that whole just breakdown, and that was a part of the lyrics for that, and it just talks about the effects that we can have on people, and we don't know what those effects are until we're brought back with a review or, you know, or they share with us how, you know, who. Who you are has affected me. And for it to be a positive thing, you know, or something that can be reaffirming, like, okay, I might have made this decision, but that doesn't mean who I am in totality and I'm able to be brought back in. And so it's just that bring me in refrain, bitch, like, that is total worship. And so I just wanted to tell you that you are that when I say I be writing songs about my friends, bitch, like, you're not. You never know. But yes, yes, thank you. Thank you for that. I'll never forget, ever.

Countess Vaughn (60:23)

I love you, friend. Thank you.

Kim Fields (60:27)

Oh, how beautiful.

Countess Vaughn (60:28)

I had another question, but I don't have words. So.

Kim Fields (60:35)

He is speechless. He is gobsmacked. He can't take it. He is overwhelmed.

Countess Vaughn (60:42)

So I love my friend.

Kim Fields (60:43)

Okay, that's beautiful. Okay, you're going on tour.

Countess Vaughn (60:48)

You gonna grow Tour. You gonna grow two tour.

C (60:51)

Yes.

Countess Vaughn (60:53)

Coming up very soon. What are you most excited about for this tour? What songs can you not wait to sing?

C (61:01)

I want to sing Reaching. I definitely want to sing Blast. I wonder if I'll be able to make it through Generous completed Specialty and Home Alone. I wonder if I'm going to be able to get through those four songs without crying.

Kim Fields (61:20)

Yeah, I see that.

C (61:22)

Because once I Get. Once you go into the. I won't become what I've been through. And it just keeps repeating. It gets more. And it's just. By the time the drums come in, like, my nerves are just pinched. My eyes are welling up. I'm like, ah.

Countess Vaughn (61:37)

Okay.

C (61:40)

Specialty is another one because it's my official Will youl Go With Me record. And when I say at the end, I'm so shook for you, it's gonna be so amazing. It's gonna be one for the pages. It takes a certain awareness to look at someone and say, I am shook for you to be able to experience the very best parts of me. Because now I have room for you. Like, my consideration is heightened, my communication has improved. Like, you get to experience. And I have not been able to experience the best parts of myself on someone, with someone. I've been doing the work. And so that's another one that gets me emotional because I'm just. Ugh. Yeah. And I say in the bridge, this is what it feels like when things go right. Finally.

Countess Vaughn (62:33)

Yeah. Well, you won't be crying alone if it does happen. Listen.

Kim Fields (62:38)

Okay. You will not. You will not.

Countess Vaughn (62:42)

Oh, the stage just need to be.

C (62:44)

A big Kleenex and something I'm gonna be passing out for sure. Also, I'm just excited about the different production that I'm going to piece together for the show. I feel like I have an idea of what it's going to look like, but it's going to be really fun. I've actually been looking up some things that I want to show during the show as well. Things that people haven't seen before, things people have seen, just to kind of take them along the journey. It's going to be really dope.

Kim Fields (63:15)

Awesome. Well, Duran, Bernard, thank you so much for sharing your time with us today, talking about this beautiful project, sharing your gifts with the world. I was on your Wikipedia, just making sure that I knew, you know, making sure I know the basics before we get on this call. And we have the same birthday.

Countess Vaughn (63:34)

Oh, that's right.

Kim Fields (63:35)

I'm six years older than you. But we have the same birthday.

C (63:38)

Listen, it's okay. We had a.

Kim Fields (63:41)

Yes. We had our moment at Spotify where I was like, I feel like I've known you, you know, just your music, etc, and then, of course, we have this mutual friend, so. But it's been incredible to watch your career grow from, you know, early days of doing covers and being on tour supporting larger acts to now having your own albums, own original music, own tour. The growth and has Been phenomenal to witness. And, yeah, congratulations. Congratulations, Bloom. Available now on all streaming platforms. And, yeah, where can the people find you? Where can they get tickets for the tour?

C (64:15)

Yeah, so they can just go straight to duranbernard.com d u r A A N D E E A R a n a arara.com Love it.

Kim Fields (64:25)

Love it.

C (64:26)

And for the cities that think I hate them, I just need blow it on down. Okay? I don't hate y'all. Just stand by, please.

Kim Fields (64:35)

Just give the man a minute. Okay?

C (64:37)

You know, we got. I got to perform, so y'all got to give me room and time, take a beat so that I can be my best. Okay?

Kim Fields (64:46)

Right, Exactly. You're getting a show, so you gotta give time to rest.

C (64:52)

You're getting an experience.

Kim Fields (64:53)

You are indeed.

Countess Vaughn (64:54)

There's nothing like watching this individual perform live. And I promise you, like, I promise.

Kim Fields (65:01)

Because the energy and the devotion to the show is the same. No matter if you're performing in front of 20 people or thousands, you are bringing nobody. You are giving it. I've seen him. I seen him just during war, but during rehearsal, before the cameras are rolling or anything, this fool is just back there.

Countess Vaughn (65:19)

Uncle Bill, how they gonna perform? Like, who gives a shit? Who's watching me? For real? Like, really amazing.

Kim Fields (65:28)

Yes. We love it, and we love to see it. Thank you again for. For being on the read.

C (65:33)

That's the. Let the legendary read. Okay?

Kim Fields (65:37)

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Countess Vaughn (66:46)

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Kim Fields (68:05)

Yay, Duran.

Countess Vaughn (68:08)

Ooh, my feelings. All right, it's time for the read.

Kim Fields (68:12)

Yes, it is.

Countess Vaughn (68:13)

Finally. And I'll just go ahead and start because I really would like to make this quick. Dr. Heavenly.

Kim Fields (68:23)

Oh, God, what does she do now?

Countess Vaughn (68:28)

So I guess that Married to Madison is on. I haven't watched that show in such a long time. So I don't know what's happening on there, but apparently Dr. Heavenly was on a podcast talking about husbands. Somebody husband, probably from the show. And she said in a clip, if you have a conversation with somebody and it goes left. Most men, real men, not gay men, not bitch men, guys that are soft. Real men, straight men, are gonna feel like if you tell my wife to shut the fuck up, I'm gonna have a problem with it. Okay, so, Heavenly, you know that I think you tickle me. I think you're very, very funny. You're also from Miami, and so you get like a little extra point for that too. But stupid is stupid, and I call spades a spade. So let's just discuss a few of the holes here. Cause there Are numerous. One, if you. You didn't. But if you were here for one of the letters in this exact episode, in fact, you'll know that there are quite a few men that identify as straight and real who would have literally no problem if someone told their wife to shut the fuck up. In fact, they might join in telling her to shut the fuck up. So I'm not entirely sure where you got that logic from. So there's that. Now next to say that most men, real men, not gay men, bitch. Men are men that are kind of soft.

C (70:10)

Yikes.

Countess Vaughn (70:12)

Okay, I don't know if.

C (70:19)

I don't.

Countess Vaughn (70:19)

Know how you define real, because, like, that. That word has a very specific definition. And there isn't a reality where a gay man isn't really a man. This just isn't how that works. And you can't, no matter what society has instructed you for however long, change that. That said, there also isn't a reality where gay men or men that are kind of soft are afraid of confrontation, defending those they care about, cussing somebody out. In fact, in many cases, we be at the front of the line to do those things.

Kim Fields (71:08)

Yes, y'all do.

Countess Vaughn (71:09)

Many queens been fighting all our goddamn life. We had to fight our daddy. We had to fight our brothers. We had to fight our uncles. Okay, Gay child ain't safe in the world.

Kim Fields (71:21)

Well, you're not lying.

Countess Vaughn (71:24)

No, I'm gonna. Now we be in these streets ready to crack anyone y'all bitch that got something to say on average. Once again, what's the problem? Probably a lot of the people who have defended your antics, where you be getting cussed out, deservedly, for however many seasons you be doing on this show is usually Queensland. I probably jump to your defense and be team Heavenly.

Kim Fields (71:44)

Who do you think is even watching that show? It's. It's gay niggas and straight girls.

Countess Vaughn (71:54)

This idea that you all have. And I'm again, I'm sure that this. The whole thing here was in an effort to try and imply that somebody else has been on the show is gay or something like that, which is like, okay, even if that was the case. All right, now what. But y'all really have to at some point. And I mean, I. In. In the case of Heavenly, again, like I said, she tickles me. Miami. Whatever. But she's also like a wide open reminder that you can be very book smart and you can be achieved academically and also be a wide open dumbass. You know what I mean? Yeah. So there's that. But it's just also Like, I hope that folks like this, especially women like this, understand that this rhetoric and narrative is actually harmful to you, hopefully, because you're not. You're just perpetuating a structure and a system that is really meant to destroy you. Anyway, a lot of this is not just an attack on men or gay men or soft men. It's essentially an attack on femininity, which is you.

C (73:15)

So.

Countess Vaughn (73:18)

This isn't giving what you think it's giving, but again, you're dumb. So, like, fine, but with love and a 305, I'm done.

Kim Fields (73:27)

It's something about them Gen Xers. I don't know. But, like, I feel like this is not even a new conversation. Like, certainly somebody has had to check Heavenly about this, you know, latent homophobia, casual homophobia that she has. Like, even when I was watching the show regularly, she was like that. So how in 2025 are we still saying that gay men, not real men, you know, that just feels like a very 2014 conversation, doesn't it? To me? Yes. Like, what it is. We're still saying that. Girl, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, speaking of people who don't know what the fuck you talking about, child, one of Diddy's lawyers said, actually dump this man. Anthony Rico filed a motion to withdraw last Thursday in New York federal court saying that, quote, although I have provided Sean Combs with the high level of legal representation expected by the court, under no circumstances can I continue to effectively serve as counsel.

Countess Vaughn (74:34)

Jesus.

Kim Fields (74:35)

He has cited attorney client privilege. So unfortunately we are not getting the details on what exactly he found out that made him say, I'm out of here. But this trial is two months away. These are certainly some incredibly well paid lawyers. Like, this man. This man litigated the World Trade center bombing case. So, you know, been a. Been a lawyer, been an attorney Since. Looks like 81 is when he finished law school.

Countess Vaughn (75:13)

So, no, the Internet, literally. The Internet literally said, you know, this shit is heinous. Cause that nigga would. These lawyers will defend Beelzebub anything.

Kim Fields (75:20)

Like, it doesn't defend anybody. They defend people who have done the most terrible things. Violating children in all kinds of ways, you name it. There is a defense attorney somewhere who's like, I'll take that case.

Countess Vaughn (75:37)

And, and, and the attorney said, I cannot effectively.

Kim Fields (75:43)

There's no way.

Countess Vaughn (75:45)

Meaning, like, it's not just that I don't want to. Like, I can't help you here. Like, I can't do. I cannot win this.

Kim Fields (75:55)

So under no circumstances cannot wait. Because, I mean, this is going to trial. I assume we will be finding something out there. Has to. I really, and I mean desperately want to know so on, because I was talking about this on Blue Sky. The attorneys were all up under the thread talking about, you know, under what circumstances. So it's either they found, he found out something, you know, especially heinous, or he found out that Diddy is planning to lie under oath, or did he ask him to do something that could cause him to be disbarred or. Or lose his license, you know, no longer be able to practice. So it's probably one of those three, but, you know, nigga, you already looked extremely guilty. You know, it already looked really bad for you. The cast, like, very. Came out like it already looked bad for your attorney to then be, like, eight weeks away from trial of drug loo. Are you. Are you joking? Well, I guess the. The other attorneys are trying to figure out how they're gonna get this thing together because last week they accused the government of embarking on a racist prosecution.

Countess Vaughn (77:22)

Yep.

Kim Fields (77:22)

And said that no other person, and certainly no white person has ever previously been prosecuted under the White Slave Traffic act for hiring male escorts from another state. Mr. Combs has been singled out because he's a powerful black man, and he is being prosecuted for conduct that regularly goes unpunished. Count three should be dismissed because this is a clear case of selective prosecution. Now, here's my thing.

Countess Vaughn (77:45)

I wonder if they be laughing when they type.

Kim Fields (77:49)

They're like, look, we're making $5,000aminute. We have to. We have to come up with something. But I am all for. I would not actually be shocked if they were going at him harder because he's black. I don't deny, you know, racism plays a part. However, I also don't care when you really did do that shit. I don't care if they're prosecuting you for stuff that people normally get away with if it's still against the law and you actually did do it. I don't care. I don't care. Sorry. If any. You. You've been black your whole life. You knew that shit was racist. You knew that justice was not blind. So that's not. There's nothing about the.

Countess Vaughn (78:37)

Why should someone like you care if you are also someone who exists in a group who will shout to the mountaintops, this white person deserves to be in. In prison. In jail for X, Y, and Z.

Kim Fields (78:48)

Exactly. I don't make excuses for white men or white perpetrators, and I'm for damn sure not doing it for you. Especially because only God knows how many black people are your victims. So, no, I'm. I don't. I don't care that they're coming at you and you feel like if you was white, they wouldn't be coming at you for all these different crimes. Nigga, you did them crimes. The solution is the solution. Y'all did the same thing. Not with Epstein. What was the other one? The movie.

Countess Vaughn (79:17)

Who, Woody Allen.

Kim Fields (79:18)

No, no, no. The other one who looked like he finna die. Or maybe he did die.

Countess Vaughn (79:23)

Oh, Charlie.

Kim Fields (79:25)

No, the one who everybody was like, Johnny Depp. No, like an old producer.

Countess Vaughn (79:36)

Not Epstein. Oh, you.

C (79:38)

Wait.

Kim Fields (79:38)

Yeah, Epstein. Not Epstein. Weinstein.

Countess Vaughn (79:40)

Weinstein. When you said Epstein, I thought I was thinking Weinstein. Yeah, I forgot.

Kim Fields (79:45)

Not Epstein, but Weinstein. There was a lot of this when Weinstein was. When he, you know, was acquitted or whatever. It was like, oh, you know, if a white man get away with it, then a should have to get with. No, no. The solution is for the white men to also be prosecuted and to also go to prison for however long. The solution is not for all of you to get away with it. So, yes, you might be. You really might be the victim of, like, racial targeting, but your ass did that shit. So the target worked. I don't care. Suffer. Suffer the things you did to kids alone. Suffer. I don't care.

Countess Vaughn (80:25)

And how is he even being singled out? When you do think about, like, Weinstein and, like, then they went to trial and lost all his or whatever if he was. You haven't. Like, there hasn't been a judgment here yet.

Kim Fields (80:35)

No, they're like, this particular law. You're only coming at him because nobody's ever had the law applied to them in this same situation when they've done the same thing. So they're bitching about the charge itself, not, you know, whether he was found. But again, if you didn't do that.

Countess Vaughn (80:52)

It wouldn't be nothing to charge, right? Not to make light of any other case or anything like that. I'm still wrapping my head around this story and some of these charges, and it's bad. Some of these allegations and stuff. Not only is it bad, it's like, I ain't never heard no shit like this before. So, yeah, you know, we'll see what happens.

Kim Fields (81:15)

So two months away from trial, you got one lawyer saying, I actually can't do this no more, and your other lawyer saying, the racism is the problem. It's not looking good. That sounds like, yeah, we know he did this, but how dare y'all tell.

Countess Vaughn (81:32)

It'S helpful, though, because I'm sure it it not. I don't know if it's helpful, but is it. It makes sense, though, because like, now I think about there have been niggas on the Internet who were saying that before this, you know, everybody else. So I wouldn't be surprised if someone on a team or, you know, someone was like, oh, there was like, statistics say that 13 blacks a month have been. So here we are, you know, but yeah, whatever.

Kim Fields (82:08)

Y'all celebrating a black man going to jail when that black man violated black women and children? Yes, I absolutely am celebrating that predator getting the fuck on babes. Yes, I am. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Hell yeah. And that's gonna wrap up.

Countess Vaughn (82:31)

You know what? Hell yeah.

Kim Fields (82:33)

This week's episode.

Countess Vaughn (82:35)

Congratulations on baby three. Cassie.

Kim Fields (82:38)

Oh, yes, Cassie's pregnant. Congratulations.

Countess Vaughn (82:44)

Living her life.

Kim Fields (82:46)

Got to golden, got away from that nigga. And now you thriving. You look so happy, so surrounded by love. Good for you. Yes. Follow us on social media at. This is the Read. Our website is. This is the read.com. any other announcements from you this week, Kid Fury, before we head out?

C (83:08)

Yes.

Countess Vaughn (83:08)

You can follow us on our socials. You can find more content from me@patreon.com Kid Fury. We will be. We will be watching the film Kingdom Come.

Kim Fields (83:20)

Oh, God. This week.

Countess Vaughn (83:22)

That'll be fun for our Black History Month.

Kim Fields (83:28)

Wonderful. Love to see you.

Countess Vaughn (83:29)

A good old star studded classic. I'm gonna be hollering all the lines like a true nigga. Join us for the fun. And thank you to everybody who came to the Read Live in New York. You guys are awesome and so friendly and so nice. Even though I cussed y'all out, I think maybe three times.

Kim Fields (83:48)

Oh, no.

Countess Vaughn (83:48)

But you know that it was with, like, love. Yeah.

Kim Fields (83:53)

Before we go, did you. Have you seen the previews for this new movie starring Laverne Cox and George Wallace?

Countess Vaughn (84:00)

Oh, clean slate.

Kim Fields (84:01)

Yes.

Countess Vaughn (84:01)

I saw the pre. The, like, the initial trailer, but I haven't watched it yet.

Kim Fields (84:04)

I haven't either, but I was like, I need to tell you about this because it looks so good. It looks so good, George Wallace. It feels like it's the trailer, though.

Countess Vaughn (84:14)

It looks very wholesome. But I, when the trailer was done, I was like, oh, this is gonna make me cry.

Kim Fields (84:19)

Oh, yeah.

Countess Vaughn (84:19)

And I'm not. It's not like, like a parent right there in the trailer or whatever, but I'm like, I know.

Kim Fields (84:27)

Oh, yes.

Countess Vaughn (84:27)

This one is gonna get me in my feet. Yes.

Kim Fields (84:29)

I can tell because it's a parent who loves and accepts their queer child exactly as they are. So I'm already like, can't relate a.

Countess Vaughn (84:37)

Black daddy that look like the black.

Kim Fields (84:39)

Daddy look like all the uncles and daddies.

Countess Vaughn (84:42)

Like, all of our uncles and daddies, literally. Really? I might watch this shit tonight.

Kim Fields (84:46)

You know, I might not understand it, but I love and accept my child as they are.

Countess Vaughn (84:50)

In fact, I saw it on my thingy, like, two days ago, and I was like, I need to watch this shit too. You know, I need to give these people these streams and like that.

Kim Fields (85:00)

Yes.

Countess Vaughn (85:01)

Because if, you know, I need to be a part of this, whatever if this shit gets canceled, I'm going to.

Kim Fields (85:05)

Be, you know, shout out to Laverne and George Wallace. I'm excited to see the movie, but, yeah, I just wanted to mention it to you before we headed out. Maybe we can talk about it next week if we. If we manage to look at it.

Countess Vaughn (85:17)

But, yes, let's do that, I guess. Talking about content together.

Kim Fields (85:22)

Okay. All right, that's gonna wrap it up. Thank you so much, everybody. Take care of yourselves, and we will see y'all next week. By the time I hit my 50s, I'd learned a few things, like how family is precious, work can always wait, and 99% of people over 50 already have the virus that causes shingles. Not everyone at risk will develop it, but I did. The painful, blistering rash disrupted my life for weeks. Don't learn about your shingles. Risk the hard way. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist today. Sponsored by gsk.

C (86:05)

Hey, I'm journalist Sam Sanders.

Countess Vaughn (86:08)

I'm poet Saeed Jones.

Kim Fields (86:09)

And I'm producer Zach Stafford. And we are the hosts of a.

Countess Vaughn (86:12)

Podcast called Vibe Check.

C (86:14)

On Vibe Check, we talk about everything. News, culture, and entertainment and how it all feels.

Kim Fields (86:20)

That's right, we talk about any and.

Countess Vaughn (86:22)

Everything on our show, from real life.

Kim Fields (86:23)

Issues like grief to music and movie critiques.

C (86:26)

And that barely scratches the surface.

Countess Vaughn (86:28)

Yes, indeed, and it doesn't stop there. We have got a lot to say, so join our group, chat, come to life, follow and listen to Vibe Check wherever you get your podcast.

C (86:37)

Pass.