Grandma, Bi**h...

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Read

Episode: "Grandma, Bih..."**
Release Date: October 2, 2025
Hosts: Kid Fury and Crissle

Episode Overview

In this characteristic episode of The Read, Kid Fury and Crissle bring their signature humor, outrage, and cultural insight to a whirlwind week of pop culture, music industry drama, and personal letters. The episode careens from uplifting stories of Black excellence to fiery takes on celebrity beefs, parenting failures, and neglect, culminating in passionate reads directed at political shenanigans and global absurdity. As always, no one is safe—except Beyoncé and Blue Ivy.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. Opening & Black Excellence: "Heroic 11-Year-Old Disarms School Shooter"

Timestamps: 00:45 – 09:09

• Crissle highlights the story of Sakir Everett, an 11-year-old from Michigan who disarmed a fellow student who brought a gun to school, possibly saving many lives.
  • "Is this kid Robin? Is he Nightwing? Is he part of the Bat—like, this is excellent. This is fierce. This is life saving. This is heroic." (03:10, Crissle)
• Outrage over school expulsion: Instead of being honored, Sakir was expelled for not immediately reporting the weapon. Both hosts express anger at the school’s decision, contrasting how similar acts are treated when the race of the child differs.
  • "This child possibly saved countless lives that day...How is that child anything but a hero? Expelled? What about the kid who brought the damn gun?" (05:11, Kefiri)
• Discuss the hypocrisy and systemic injustice:
  • "White boy? Oh, a parade...He would be deciding school lunch for the next five years." (09:09, Krystal, on the double standard)
• A GoFundMe for Sakir is mentioned (07:13).

---

2. Pop Culture Rundown:

Timestamps: 10:25 – 39:55

• Super Bowl Halftime Announced:
  • Bad Bunny confirmed as the headliner. The hosts celebrate and laugh at predictable white outrage.
    • "The NFL cares about money. Bad Bunny is a global fucking artist." (13:12, Kefiri)
• Ice Cube’s Tour Bus Fire (15:17):
  • Briefly discussed, but more a segue into unexpected headlines.
• Jane Goodall passes away (16:06).
• Tiffany Pollard (New York) comes out as non-binary (16:40–18:03):
  • Hosts express love and curiosity about pronouns: "Of course, you’re one of us." (17:34, Kefiri)
• Keke Wyatt’s Parenting Dragged (18:44–26:05):
  • Keke’s son reveals, via TikTok, he was left as a 15-year-old chemo patient to care for six siblings. Hosts are appalled at such neglect.
    • "Oh, bitch, you’re a bird of the highest goddamn order." (19:44, Kefiri)
    • "Kimo. Would she leave him the car keys? Be like, you got your permit? You all right?" (24:27, Kefiri)
  • This sparks reflection on sibling/parent roles in Black families and the dangers of children forced to grow up too soon.

---

3. Music Industry & Shade: The Great Rap Beef Segment

Timestamps: 35:33 – 64:47

• Cardi B vs. Ice Spice, Latto, Nicki Minaj (Cardi phone call leak):
  • Cardi caught on leaked audio threatening to fight Ice Spice, dragging Latto and Nicki in the process.
  • Analysis of the recording’s origins; hosts speculate Offset may have leaked it.
    • "It’s not making sense. The point of arguing about who leaked it is...it’s out." (38:43, Krystal)
  • Collateral Damage: Latto gets dragged by Cardi ("I’m not pussy like Latto. I’m not Nicki." [36:26, Krystal]), despite recently collaborating on music. Hosts critique this immature, unnecessary friendly fire.
    • "That’s a sign of immaturity. …one of the main things [Cardi] needs to do is grow the fuck up." (40:38, Kefiri)
• Nicki Minaj and Cardi B’s ongoing feud:
  • Spirals into public, deeply personal attacks involving children ("...talking about each other’s kids. Now you on the Internet calling each other’s kids slow and roaches and vultures. Grown ass women." [46:53–47:08, Krystal]).
  • Hosts are disgusted by the growing viciousness, especially the targeting of children.
    • "It is a sign to grow up. You feel that way about a child and you say something like that...that’s a sign you need therapy real bad." (62:29, Kefiri)
• JT inserts herself, going at Cardi and defending Nicki for relevance, which hosts find embarrassing.
  • "You, baby, when I say you have zero space to talk about anybody else’s numbers or success..." (54:35, Kefiri)
• Music break / recommendations:
  • Hosts encourage streaming new, positive female artists (Mona Leo, Ken the Man, Lady London, Rico Nasty, etc.) to focus energy elsewhere from the "rap queen drama."
    • "I'm locked in with the younger generation. I wanna see what the younger ladies have to talk about..." (63:59, Krystal)

---

4. Listener Letters: Advice, Outrage, and Family Trauma

Timestamps: 68:48 – 110:59

Letter 1: "Too Horny for Abstinence" – Pregnant Listener Struggles

• Woman is pregnant, boyfriend is abstaining from sex to maintain sobriety. She’s going crazy with desire.
  • Both hosts empathize, push her to be honest with her therapist, and suggest open, non-shaming communication about needs.
    • "Girl, your pussy is a gateway drug." (73:17, Krystal)
• Solution: Therapy, communication, patience, and healthy boundaries.

Letter 2: "Is My Man Being Mistreated?" – Friendship Exclusion

• Listener upset her partner is consistently passed over for best man/godfather honors. Asks if she should say something.
  • Hosts say check with her man first—don’t advocate if he’s unbothered.
    • "My first reaction is, what does Chris want you to do?" (85:01, Kefiri)

Letter 3: "Mom Chooses Felon Over Her Kids"

• Listener's mom moves in a felon boyfriend, neglects the kids (one on dialysis), hits her child. Therapist calls DHS; family explodes in denial and blame.
  • Both hosts are unequivocally supportive—abuse is never okay; listener did the right thing.
    • "Your mother is an absolute backwards, dizzy, gutter bird ass bitch." (98:10, Krystal)
    • "Thank God you told your therapist." (108:33, Krystal)
  • Encouragement: protect your siblings, don’t feel guilty, and continue therapy.

---

5. The "Read": Dragging City & State Officials, and Public Figures

Timestamps: 111:27 – episode end

• Miami/Local Election Corruption:
  • Crissle explains Miami tried to move elections, locking in officials. Judge blocks it; hosts underscore the importance of local voting.
    • "This is exactly why people tell you to remember and keep up with your state officials, your city officials, your local people, and to vote in these elections specifically..." (115:03, Krystal)
• Ongoing national and global mess ("the burn is burning")
  • Outrage at political corruption, Trump, Republicans (“release the Epstein files you dirty bitch,” 130:57, Kefiri), and distraction from real issues.
• Bonus Reads: J.K. Rowling for her sustained transphobia and bullying Emma Watson; Oklahoma politics (Crissle’s home state).
  • "You're 60 years old, trolling kids...Suck my dick." (134:26, Krystal)

---

Notable Quotes

• On systemic injustice:
  • "He was kicked out of school. He wasn’t given all the medals. Are you bitches fucking stu—like, I don’t understand this place." (04:30, Krystal)
• On rap beef immaturity:
  • "Both y’all need to grow the fuck up...you jumping in the middle, throwing jabs at kids. These kids will grow up old enough to see these things." (50:39–50:56, Krystal)
• On parental neglect:
  • "Carla, I want you to know that I’m saying this with love...Your mother is an absolute backwards, dizzy, gutter bird ass bitch." (98:10, Krystal)
• On social priorities:
  • "Millions of dollars move—you can just go get on a private jet whenever you want... and this is how you spend your time?" (53:10, Kefiri, on Nicki/Cardi drama)
• On political mess:
  • "...Destroying this shit in front of our very fucking eyes and the people who are supposed to be doing something about it just sitting back..." (130:32, Kefiri)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start | Approx. End | |--------------------------------------------|----------|-------------| | Black Excellence | 00:45 | 09:09 | | Pop Culture Hot Topics | 10:25 | 39:55 | | Rap Beef Segment | 35:33 | 64:47 | | Listener Letters | 68:48 | 110:59 | | City/State Politics & Final Reads | 111:27 | Episode end |

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Tone & Style

The episode stays true to The Read’s frank, irreverent, and laugh-out-loud style. Both Kid Fury and Crissle are emotionally invested, especially when discussing injustice, Black community issues, political hypocrisy, and public figure nonsense. Sharp wit and cultural critique run throughout, with classic sidebars and a warm, but no-nonsense approach to listener dilemmas.

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For New Listeners

• Expect explicit language, passionate opinions, and zero tolerance for hypocrisy or injustice.
• The podcast’s advice and social commentary are rooted in both personal experience and a broader cultural lens.
• While the pop culture drama is discussed with humor and shade, the hosts are equally committed to spotlighting serious issues like abuse, systemic racism, and the importance of community support.

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Summary created by Podcast Summarizer AI, reflecting the original language, humor, and spirit of The Read (Ep. "Grandma, Bih...", 10/2/25).**

Transcript

[Kefiri]

Happy that Cuomo said we couldn't be outside last year. Where we at? Outside?

[Krystal]

Welcome back to another episode of this particular program. I'm Chase Infinity.

[Kefiri]

And I am Ray. And this is the Read. Thanks for coming back.

[Krystal]

It is indeed. Man. Gosh, that clip almost makes me miss New York. Does it? Yeah.

[Kefiri]

I don't even think I caught what was being said, but it sounded raucous.

[Krystal]

That Cuomo nigga said we couldn't be outside this week. And I'm like, of course you heard it, girl. It says you liked it. Like there it is right there. You like this video? Oh, my God, this girl, this blue hair, like New York is so special. It is.

[Kefiri]

It's quite a mess.

[Krystal]

Well, it is October for the girls. Let's do our usual thingamajig here with some black excellence. Today's black excellence is not only astonishing, it is unfortunately, a bit infuriating.

[Kefiri]

Oh, God.

[Krystal]

So I want to honor a young man by the name of Sakir Everett. He's an 11 year old boy from Michigan who may have saved countless lives at his school because he quickly disarmed another student.

[Kefiri]

Oh, yes.

[Krystal]

And dismantled their gun.

[Kefiri]

I did hear about that.

[Krystal]

When he found them with it.

[Kefiri]

Insane. My God.

[Krystal]

This is an 11 year old little black boy, seventh grade, who's gone hunting before, I guess with family. So he's had some experience hunting with guns before and was able to disarm this. His classmate who brought a gun to school and dismantle the gun. His mother says that he said he was very afraid, obviously, and thought that he to do the first thing that he could to protect other kids. So this is extremely excellent blackness. Because I mean, is this kid Robin, is he Nightwing? Is he part of the bat? Like, this is excellent. This is fierce. This is life saving. This is heroic.

[Kefiri]

Exactly.

[Krystal]

Um, most of us think apparently, and unfortunately, I guess the Lansing school district does not think so because they expelled this child for a year. They expelled him from the school. Apparently they feel like he. Because he didn't immediately report the gun. He caught some sort of possession accusation and they expelled him. And they're standing on it. And obviously there's been outcry from the community, from his family, anybody with common damn sense, but the school board is, you know what, doing their Trump thing. I guess. I have nothing but anger for these adults. I have nothing. It's like you have already. We're already existing in this place, in this nation, this world where people just bring firearms to the Kmart, to the school, to the church, to the Starbucks. Whatever. And just do whatever the fuck they want to with other living people, including children that are 10 and 11 years old.

[Kefiri]

Right.

[Krystal]

By the time Zakir would have, I don't know, run to a teacher or a principal who knows. That other kid could have killed somebody. Sakira said, I can do something about this immediately and did. He was kicked out of school. He wasn't given all the medals. Are you bitches fucking Stu. Like, I don't understand this place.

[Kefiri]

No, I don't.

[Krystal]

He shouldn't even be in a place or a situation where he is going from, I don't know, basic geometry or something to having to be the Green Arrow.

[Kefiri]

Yeah, I'm, I'm.

[Krystal]

Hey, you motherfuckers are like, you're in trouble. Hate you bitches so bad.

[Kefiri]

This child possibly saved countless lives that day. Like, I, I, I see that the school district is like, well, the entire story hasn't been told and you guys have been cherry picking certain information to make it look a certain way. Then tell us the whole story. Because I'm really not understanding how a child who took a weapon from another student and and dismantled it, disassembled it, removed the bullets, threw em away. Whatever else, I'm not how. That child is anything but a hero. Expelled. What about the kid who brought the damn gun?

[Krystal]

Unidentified. Don't know about him.

[Kefiri]

All right. God damn it, America. This is fucking crazy. Do y' all want the kids to die?

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Kefiri]

Jesus Christ. Wow. I hope, I hope this boy's mama and daddy are in touch with an attorney because.

[Krystal]

Oh, that looks like a law. Listen, baby.

[Kefiri]

What the.

[Krystal]

His mother, Syvrida McClurklin on a ass pissed period.

[Kefiri]

What?

[Krystal]

Pissed? Enraged.

[Kefiri]

I. And as a line, I, I eliminated a real threat to everybody in this fucking school and I can't come back to school for a year. Is everybody fucking for real? Go ahead and give us these extra details that make this make sense because right now y' all look the fucking fool.

[Krystal]

So your suggestion when these things happen was to give every classroom a pail full of stone.

[Kefiri]

Like, oh my God.

[Krystal]

Tell the kids to pray I am black Jason Bourne. That was my resolution.

[Kefiri]

What?

[Krystal]

So I'm in trouble?

[Kefiri]

It's not making sense. It's really not curling over.

[Krystal]

We should have used rocks instead of the young avenger in the classroom. He has to go to jail. He has to go to the raft. I hate this place. Yeah, all you adult bitches are ghetto and you don't deserve nothing you ask. I hate y'. All.

[Kefiri]

True, true.

[Krystal]

But this is not the read this is black excellence. And so to 11 year old Takir Everett, you did your biggest one. I will be attaching a link in today's description for a GoFundMe. I believe that's available if you'd like to reach out, if you'd like to do something, if you'd like to maybe, you know, support, get involved. But in the meantime, young man, wow. You're the hero the streets need. And you shouldn't be. You should be 11. You should be going home to watch Disney XD and see what other useless skin they've dropped into Fortnite.

[Kefiri]

Look at his little.

[Krystal]

You shouldn't be using real guns or dismantling real ones. You should be at school with your friends right now and all of them talking about how nobody else can be your friend because you were friends and with a member of the Justice League first, right?

[Kefiri]

They should be naming a playground after this child, period. Oh, my God. And I'm seeing here that he can't get into any other school because of this expulsion. So his mama has in some online accredited thing, right? What the fuck, bro? Oh, yeah, go ahead and call that attorney right now because this seems. I don't know what y' all could possibly say to make it make sense, but right now, this. It's like y' all want something bad to happen to these kids.

[Krystal]

White people in Michigan hate children. They want them to die.

[Kefiri]

You didn't even have to say, like, you could have just left it at white people because.

[Krystal]

No, truthfully, but I mean, if you really get into the sauce.

[Kefiri]

Wow. Wow. Shout, shout out to Sakir and his mama. Look at his sweet little face. That baby could have died behind somebody bringing that gun to school. And y' all mad because he took the knowledge his granddaddy taught him and. And eliminated the threat. I have to close this baby. Every time I look at it, I get more mad.

[Krystal]

School white boy.

[Kefiri]

Oh, a parade.

[Krystal]

He would be deciding school lunch for the next five years.

[Kefiri]

Literally.

[Krystal]

He like multiple monuments.

[Kefiri]

Honorary PhD, key to the city. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Krystal]

I hate you bitches. I hate y'.

[Kefiri]

All.

[Krystal]

I hate you. I hate you. Terrified child just happening to have the blessing of the knowledge that it takes to save the day, right? Snapping into action, knowing it would be a waste of time to go run to some white people who ain't going to do shit but pick up a pebble and some berries and throw it at this bitch. I mean, and by the I'm the dark knight.

[Kefiri]

He could have. You going to run off and tell somebody in that amount of time, he could have took that gun and did God knows what.

[Krystal]

He could shoot me on the way.

[Kefiri]

Yeah. So y' all gonna have to make this right somehow. Cause it's.

[Krystal]

I hate y'.

[Kefiri]

All. No matter how you look at it, it's not making sense.

[Krystal]

Thank you for your. For being used to care.

[Kefiri]

Yes. Beautiful boy.

[Krystal]

What the world needs. Let's get into our hot tops. Pop culture stuff for the day. My God, it is. I don't know where to.

[Kefiri]

There is so much going on.

[Krystal]

So. All right. Bad Bunny is gonna be doing the. The super bowl halftime. I realized this because I went to listen to some music and Apple does. Did what it does every year now and was like, have you heard of Bad Bunny? Yeah, now's the time.

[Kefiri]

I think I have the most streamed artist in the world. I think I have heard of him.

[Krystal]

Like, yeah, I heard. I have heard of one of the most famous people on earth, but yeah, they do like their road to halftime thing and like their spotlighting with the playlist and everything. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, he will be there performing halftime in February for Super Bowl. Super bowl licks.

[Kefiri]

I'm very excited.

[Krystal]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kefiri]

Even though you.

[Krystal]

I am too. I love Bad Bunny.

[Kefiri]

I. I enjoy him a great deal. I vibe to the music. I don't understand none of it, but it's a bop. I don't have to understand the words to catch a vibe. And I have really enjoyed how much this has pissed off white people. I just love it.

[Krystal]

Are they livid?

[Kefiri]

Oh, they can't believe it. How dare you have this Spanish speak it. First of all, they don't know that Puerto Rico is a territory of the United States. So they think he's not American. Right. So there's that problem and then there's the. Why would you put somebody who don't speak English or don't have no English in his songs in the Super Bowl? This is unpatriotic. Blah, blah, blah. You think the NFL gives a hot nut fuck about any of that? The NFL cares about money. Well, I don't even remember. I barely remember Shakira's halftime show. No shade. But.

[Krystal]

But didn't she do one?

[Kefiri]

I'm pretty sure, yeah.

[Krystal]

So non English speaking, non American, Right. What are we talking about?

[Kefiri]

I don't remember if she performed in English or not. I think she probably did, but I think that's.

[Krystal]

I'm sure she did some stuff in English, but. Bitch, there are non English speaking people all over this place. In fact, they were before English speaking people. Were further the fuck more. Bad Bunny is one of the biggest fucking performing artists. Artists on the planet.

[Kefiri]

Right, Right. Well, good sense takes up. It's not going to get in these people way. Good sense is not going to stop them from having a fucking attitude about this man performing. And I'm just eating up. I look right. Tough titties. The NFL cares about money first and foremost.

[Krystal]

They sure do.

[Kefiri]

Above anything else. They are expanding to different. They got these niggas playing in Ireland and London and the Czech Republic and all over the goddamn place because the NFL cares about dollars. Bad Bunny is a global fucking artist.

[Krystal]

Global, the whole planet.

[Kefiri]

It makes so much sense for him to be the one to do this show.

[Krystal]

So it's like, duh, yeah, it really is.

[Kefiri]

When I heard it, I was like, oh, my God, yes, obviously, of course.

[Krystal]

Of course. Oh, yeah, sure. Immediately, there's like, no argument with that at all.

[Kefiri]

I'm finna start really paying attention to more of his music so that I can hopefully know some of the lyrics before this show. But I'm looking forward to it very much.

[Krystal]

Yeah, I'm also looking forward to it. I like Bad Bunny a lot. I like his voice. I think he's very talented. He's actually pretty good at acting as well.

[Kefiri]

Oh, he's so funny. He's so funny.

[Krystal]

He's. Yeah, I. I like him a lot. And I agree that when I saw he was the halftime pick, I was like, oh, yeah, duh. He's one of the biggest.

[Kefiri]

It was like, in the world. Like, I wouldn't. I wouldn't have thought it. But then as soon as I heard it, I was like, oh, my God. Duh.

[Krystal]

Like, yeah, duh.

[Kefiri]

Of course. He's. So he didn't tour in America not because he couldn't sell tickets, but because he didn't want to subject his people to ice. That is why Bad Bunny deliberately did not tour in the States. So it makes even more sense to go to the super bowl, where number one, Ice probably won't be, and number two, all of these fans, again scattered across the globe, can tune in or stream that shit for the free. Like, it just. It just. I'm sorry. It's clicking on all fucking levels.

[Krystal]

So if I didn't stand already, I'd say I had to.

[Kefiri]

Roc Nation. You did your big one with that.

[Krystal]

Oh, don't say that too loud. We'll get to her.

[Kefiri]

She is so mad.

[Krystal]

I don't know what it is.

[Kefiri]

There's something really wrong with that lady.

[Krystal]

To be left alone.

[Kefiri]

Oh, my Gosh, she is out of her mind.

[Krystal]

Somebody said Ice Cube's tour bus on fire. Ice Cube is on tour.

[Kefiri]

That is exactly what. Word for word what I was about to say. Ice Cube, tour bus.

[Krystal]

Ice Cub. His touring crew are safe after a fire occurred on the exterior of his tour bus in Portland. It is going down in Portland. The incident occurred after the rapper and movie star stopped at the Moda center for performance on Monday. Portland fire and Rice performance on Tuesday. The front passenger tire of a charter bus caught fire near Southwest Oak Street. How do they know it was Gray's added? The cause of the fire is under investigation. He also said he was not aware of who was using the bus. I'm not taking this as a personal attack. Ice Cube said a coward like that would burn anybody's property that was out of their. Okay, okay.

[Kefiri]

All right. Yeah. I was Googling this, and I see Jane Goodall just died, like, 30 minutes ago.

[Krystal]

What?

[Kefiri]

Yeah. How crazy. Wow, man. She was 91 and still touring.

[Krystal]

She was up there still going around.

[Kefiri]

Talking about nature and animals and how y' all need to stop being fucking stupid about. Oh, wow, man. Rest in peace.

[Krystal]

Yeah. Classic. Classic icon.

[Kefiri]

For real.

[Krystal]

Chimp diva Tiffany Pollard says that she is non binary.

[Kefiri]

All right.

[Krystal]

Did you see this? And in TikTok, she said that she is. She resonates with it because she feels a lot more masculine sometimes, and then sometimes she feels more feminine. Talks about how kissing a girl for the first time in junior high felt right, and that it can be, like, freeing when you start to explore and accept parts of your identity, so on and so forth. It was really cute, you know, I love New York. We'll see what this journey looks like for her or what have you. But if she's in the Liga Bigotiga, it kind of makes sense. It does.

[Kefiri]

Considering what a gay actor.

[Krystal]

That makes so much sense. I mean.

[Kefiri]

I mean, of course you're one of us. Is she changing her pronouns? Do we know?

[Krystal]

Oh, I don't know. I didn't.

[Kefiri]

I'm looking at. I'm Googling it, but I don't see anything about it. So. Not everybody who's non binary does. That's why I was just wondering. But okay. Work sis, bro.

[Krystal]

I'm seeing clips from socials that I've never seen before. What is this?

[Kefiri]

I love that.

[Krystal]

Yeah, I love that, too. I think that's cute. Good for her. Okay. Raja Kiki Wyatt's son still got foot on necks. He posted in a video dedicated to his, quote, brother, daddies and sister, mamas. And then told a story about how he, at 15 years old, going through chemotherapy, was tasked with taking care of six younger siblings.

[Kefiri]

Yay.

[Krystal]

Because his mother got a call about something happening to her ex husband or something, so that she just immediately kind of caught the next flight type thing. And he was left for weeks.

[Kefiri]

What?

[Krystal]

Weeks and weeks at 15 years old, going to get his chemo meds and groceries.

[Kefiri]

No, no.

[Krystal]

Taking care of these kids freaks me.

[Kefiri]

Absolutely.

[Krystal]

So that's why he said brother, daddy, sister, mama. Cause he's talking about basically older siblings who have had to take the place of the dad and the mom because of x, y and z reason. I think he also said that at some point Keke acknowledged it, but never apologized or took accountability. So he's just still, you know, it was very story time and he's just, you know, venting, getting it out, getting it off his spirit.

[Kefiri]

She left a teenager, a minor, not only to take care of six other fucking kids, but a teenager going through chemotherapy, left him alone to go see after a man. Oh, bitch, you a bird of the highest goddamn order. That is. Oh, ain't no way. I don't like to call people bad parents, but that is. I'm fighting it. I'm fighting it. That is some extremely shitty parenting. You abandoned your 15 year old and six other children who were younger than him to go see after a nigga. Bitch, you're for real.

[Krystal]

The TikTok saw this TikTok. I thought he. I mean, he was like. I think he said twice that she, like, wasn't thinking clearly, wasn't in her right mind.

[Kefiri]

Oh, no shit, no shit.

[Krystal]

So he. It almost feels like he gives her like a half inch of grace in almost saying that that's nice for him.

[Kefiri]

I don't have to do that. I don't have to do that.

[Krystal]

Of course not. But I'm just saying it speaks to this person that his intention is not just, I'm gonna drag my mama and da da, da da. It's just like, oh, no. I am an adult looking back, making sense and processing shit that shouldn't have happened. I'm gonna let it out. And especially like, again, it's like, if you've spoken about this to this parent and they didn't really take accountability or apologize, like, I can kind of understand why you get to this point. Lady Keke, you need to get off stage.

[Kefiri]

Oh my God.

[Krystal]

Into the room with the people and the clipboards. And then you need to. To see about your child.

[Kefiri]

How on earth. How on earth do you Prioritize anybody. And I do mean any fucking body over your teenager going through chemotherapy. How what we supposed to call you other than a terrible fucking mother who does that? He was already the oldest of all these fucking kids. You already in like, you know this mother, daddy, brother, all that. You were already in that second oldest.

[Krystal]

I don't know where. So still I don't know where the oldest one was baby.

[Kefiri]

Unless the oldest one was 30 and you left the 30 year old in charge of the 15 year old. But no, this baby's talking about he had to go take himself to chemo and go grocery shopping and see after these fucking kids. What?

[Krystal]

Yeah, I think that's.

[Kefiri]

Oh no, that's. That's actually it for me and Kiki Wyatt, you actually shouldn't have told me that. That's it for me. Because yeah, you can apologize, which it sounds like she didn't even do that. But I don't even know how you take accountability or make that right. You can't go back in time and not do it. You left a 15 year old defend for himself while he's going through cancer and to take care of your kids. Why you didn't take your other kids with you.

[Krystal]

I.

[Kefiri]

Oh no. Oh no. Fuck her. Fuck Keke Wyatt. You not getting shit outside of me, girl. Not one. Not nan. More pride out of me, bitch. Inexcusable behavior.

[Krystal]

That's just so wild. And I know that there have been a lot of people who. Especially older siblings who've had to kind of like take care of kids until mom gets home because mom works insane after hours.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Or something like that. Or works late or something. You know what I mean? But just like you're gone for, right?

[Kefiri]

I had to do that with Adam.

[Krystal]

Right?

[Kefiri]

I always.

[Krystal]

And Rhonda knows that.

[Kefiri]

Always I stayed with Adam. People thought I was Adam's mama. And still I was never once left overnight with that child, much less while going through fucking chemotherapy weeks.

[Krystal]

And you have cancer.

[Kefiri]

What, bitch? What do you hate your kids? You care that much about niggas? You can't be that centered around men. You cannot. I don't care who he was. An ex husband. Not even your husband. And you just left him. Oh my God. Woo. Bitch. What? Yeah, tell. Tell the whole truth, baby. Tell it. Tell us. Tell us what she did. Cause this is. I'm sorry. There is no excuse for it. Kimo. Would she leave him the car keys? Be like, you got your permit? You all right?

[Krystal]

Wasn't there nobody else that could. A cousin, a friend, somebody that's like, oh, I gotta go see about a nigga or whatever. He broke his leg or I forgot what they say happened to him some.

[Kefiri]

Please. That is so stupid. I don't care. No.

[Krystal]

For weeks, a 15 year old is the mom and dad in the house.

[Kefiri]

Absolutely.

[Krystal]

A 15 year old. That's also. That's a kind of a reason, like absolutely not. There's the movie Weapons that just came out has a lot of symbolism and a lot of. Because it's.

[Kefiri]

I'm not Googling that again. I've learned my lesson.

[Krystal]

But there's a part in it where a one of the kids from the classroom is forced to take care of his parents because something sings.

[Kefiri]

Okay.

[Krystal]

And a lot of people talking about that have kind of spoken about the. That kind of symbolizing or representing kids who have to grow up too fast because of all kinds of fucked up or sometimes really evil circumstances that have nothing to do with that.

[Kefiri]

Yep.

[Krystal]

And I think that's another reason why that movie is so fierce. Anyway, sidebar. That's. I just. I couldn't think of. Yes, there are many young people who this happens to. But this story is wild, right?

[Kefiri]

Because it's one thing to grow up too fast because your parents died tragically in a car accident. It's another for your mother to intentionally abandon you while you are sick and fighting for your life to take care of her fucking kids. Oh, no. This is why you bitches need to think twice and then two more times before you have children. It shouldn't just be, oh, well, I want to have kids. It should be. I want the responsibility, possibility of guiding a human life to adulthood. The task. It is a job. It's not something you pick up and put down whenever the fuck you feel like it. This ex husband who twisted his ankle or whatever, he ain't got no other family. He ain't got no friends. He ain't got nobody else in his whole life. Tell somebody else to do it. It's no excuse for leaving your 15. Okay. All right, all right. I'm gonna lose it. Horrible fucking person.

[Krystal]

Dame Dash is suing the Breakfast Club because he says that they defamed his character because he went on the Breakfast Club and told him, told him that he's gonna be the new CEO of a role, but he's not gonna be the new CEO of a role. So everybody's clowning him. So now he feels some type of way, so he's suing them. Okay, I just gave you the Cliff Notes. Cause the full video was a minute long. But that had to be, what, 15 seconds?

[Kefiri]

Okay, well, I. I'll let the attorney sort that out. This sounds stupid to me, but. All right.

[Krystal]

It's pretty ridiculous and probably also has to do with the paid in full thing.

[Kefiri]

Okay.

[Krystal]

Because I saw him going back and forth with Cam about that. I think 50 said something to.

[Kefiri]

Really?

[Krystal]

I didn't really.

[Kefiri]

I missed all that.

[Krystal]

Well, it wasn't all that interesting. Here's a rough one. So Tyrese had received a troubling phone call about his dogs. So his. One of his large breed, cane corsos, apparently killed his neighbor's smaller dog, a spaniel. I don't really. I couldn't see if they were, like. If it was, like, a play date, if one of them got out or what have you. But one of Tyrese's dogs killed a neighbor's dog, and since then, they have re homed the Tyrese's dogs.

[Kefiri]

The cane Corsos.

[Krystal]

Yeah, the cane Corsos. And I think his other dogs.

[Kefiri]

Yeah. And their puppies.

[Krystal]

Yeah. Yeah, the puppies.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

And then I guess, yeah, Tyrese posted, like, a. Oh, he had, like, a statement where he said that he was very upset. He said, I had no idea I would ever wake up to this nightmare. And I know the family must feel the same way to them. Please know that my heart is broken for you. I'm praying for you, for your healing and for your beloved pet who never deserved this. I remain committed to facing this matter with honesty, responsibility, and compassion.

[Kefiri]

Okay.

[Krystal]

Yeah. This is one of those things where I saw this, and I was just really sad because you can't. I don't see anything here that I could say is indicative of this being anybody's fault. Like, I've seen this happen before with very, very sweet dogs that are in very, very loving homes. If the dogs are not trained well or taken care of well, or if the dogs are neglected, it is easier, I think, sometimes for anything for them just to not behave. But I don't know the living circumstances of any of these animals to pass judgment on anybody, but I just know that this is a nightmare for me, at least. I couldn't. I would need a month of darkness.

[Kefiri]

I mean, it's. So what I read was that Tyrese lets these dogs out. He allows them to roam around the neighborhood freely, and that he had been warned before to not do that because the dogs are cane corsos that he got after. I think somebody tried to break in or something. So they were supposed to be like.

[Krystal]

I did hear that attack dogs, they.

[Kefiri]

Were supposed to be protection. They were dogs for protection. And so that. That, to me, is. Is quite different because I'm really not understanding why Tyrese didn't have some sort of fence, why the dogs were allowed to even roam freely if that was the case. I'm really not understanding why that would ever. Why would that even be. You know, that is just not making sense. But this whole, you know, I feel terrible, and I know the other family feels terrible too. Bitch, your dogs are alive. Your dog. I let my dog out to go pee in the yard, and five minutes later, it's dead because your dogs came over here and killed my baby. No, you don't know how I feel. And I don't give a fuck about this statement that your attorney wrote. And whatever, though, I'm missing you ass video you post on Instagram when I tell you I'm suing the draws off your black ass. I'm taking every dime them people will give me.

[Krystal]

I mean, if Link killed somebody's dog, I would feel terrible because, A, I don't get Link is gone, and then, B, my dog killed somebody else's dog so I would feel like shit.

[Kefiri]

I'm not saying I wouldn't compare my pain to their pain. I wouldn't say in a statement, oh, my God, I never thought I woke up. I would wake up to this news, and I feel terrible. And I know the other family feels terrible too. I wouldn't compare my pain to their pain because their pain was caused by my negligence. That's what I wouldn't do. Of course I'd feel bad, but I wouldn't link it. Like, oh, all of us feel bad, bitch. It's my fault. I'm supposed to be the one who keeps this dog in line. That dog is my responsibility. You had Cane Corsos, the dog they killed, a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. Them are the nicest. Fuck. Go Google that fucking dog. It has human eyes. Laney is half Cavalier Spaniel. They have these long, droopy ears. They're fucking companion dogs. They're lap dogs. Queen Elizabeth had, like, nine of them niggas. They just chill. They are the sweetest, friendliest things. Why in the. Okay, all right, so I, I. Good luck.

[Krystal]

I didn't hear anything about Tyrese letting the dogs out or anything. All I. I read for the past three and a half years, been dealing with stalkers, whatever. He got these dogs. That says the dogs were never trained to be vicious. They never spent a single day in attack training until this incident. They had never harmed A child, a person, or another dog. This tragic event is shocking and traumatizing for him and the family. And he can only imagine how devastating it has been for the family who lost their pet.

[Kefiri]

Okay, well, again, the you right? There's nothing you can say or do to bring my baby back. And suing you is all I have left. It's all I have left. And there's still no, because I'm imagining anybody who lives next door to Tyrese is also rich. So even suing you and getting a fat ass paycheck is not gonna heal the hole in my heart from my baby being mauled and murdered by your fucking dog. So, yeah, leave my pain out of it, bitch. You caused my pain. Why were those dogs even outside without being harnessed and leashed up or fenced in? Why were they even outdoors? Riddle me that. Hey, girls. October is National Women's Small Business Month. And guess what? There are currently over 11 million women who own small businesses in the US so right now I'd like to give a shout out to all of those awesome business owners. It is not easy. You have to juggle running your business with everything else going on in your life. And if you need to hire on top of that, it can be way too much. That is why you need ZipRecruiter. ZipRecruiter's powerful matching technology starts working immediately to find the best people for your job. You can find out right away how many job seekers in your area are qualified for the role. And with ZipRecruiter's advanced resume database, you can unlock top candidates contact info instantly. So hire the right people for your business. With ZipRecruiter, four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the very first day. And right now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com thereada Again, that's ziprecruiter.com T H E R E A D ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire. So go hire somebody smart and let them know Kefiri and Krystal sent you.

[Krystal]

I. Okay. I just got so tired. Okay, the rap girls and whatever.

[Kefiri]

There's a lot going on.

[Krystal]

Oh God. Okay, so I guess it seems like Cardi B is accusing James Roseman Jr. Who I believe might be the manager of one Ice Spice, of leaking a phone call where Cardi can be heard screaming her lungs out about how bad she want to fight Ice Spice. And yeah, also notably saying, I'm not latto. I'm not Nikki.

[Kefiri]

Yeah, I'm not pussy like Latto.

[Krystal]

Yeah, she then said that. Um, and yeah, this phone call, when I first heard about this, I saw someone say JT leaked it. How would JT even get. How the fuck would JT have this?

[Kefiri]

Right?

[Krystal]

Um, Cardi said. Wait, James, because I just know you didn't only record the beginning of that conversation. Go ahead, post the whole 11 minute convo. When I spiced that she was in her feelings, all because I said sexy deserved a BET award and she had just won some I heart award. I wasn't even thinking about Post it all. You came to bang, right? I was in my bedroom by myself. Someone said, you can obviously tell the call was recorded from your end. Which is what I was thinking.

[Kefiri]

It seems like it. It really does.

[Krystal]

I was in my bedroom by myself. I was just. I just sound more higher because not only was I louder, but it was more echo because it's bigger. Everything's louder in there.

[Kefiri]

What? That, that sentence don't make sense.

[Krystal]

He says back to her, I did not record or leak that call. You hear me on speaker with your manager who called me with you on three way and you can literally hear that in the clip. The audio didn't come from me. I respect conversations and I'm not in the business of leaking anything.

[Kefiri]

You know who I think did it?

[Krystal]

Offset back and forth.

[Kefiri]

Like I think Offset did it. I think, I think Cardi recorded it on her end, which I wouldn't be surprised if most people record stuff, but. Right. He knew about it and was like, I got something for your ass. You want to talk about me on this fucking album? I'm putting that shit out.

[Krystal]

That makes a lot of sense.

[Kefiri]

That's what it sounded like to me. Well, that's just what I. Because again, this thing about, oh, I was in my bedroom and it's all bigger and it sounds what, like that. That would make it. That doesn't make sense to me. If that was the case and it was recorded on they end, then why do they sound like they're on speakerphone and you sound like you're in the same room as the recording device? Like that doesn't make it clear what.

[Krystal]

The point of arguing about who leaked it is in the first place. It's out.

[Kefiri]

We've heard it.

[Krystal]

It's out. Somebody leaked it. Oh, well, you said it. I'm sure you don't give a fuck. Like outside of feeling bad about what you said about Lotta, which you admitted, since you gonna buy her a bag or whatever, and kiss the makeup. I'm sure you don't feel no type of way about anything the fuck else. So who cares? Why are we trying to look for karma? San Diego? It's out. We heard it. You had bitch next, right? It is what it is.

[Kefiri]

I feel for Latto because these bitches have done. She's just. She just did a remix to. What is that fucking song on Cardi's album? Errtime. No, no. Oh, no. But they have put it on the floor, too. But literally, like, just a few days ago airtime, which. That's how it's spelled. Lotto is on airtime with a verse on this. I just streamed it on YouTube earlier today. And so when I looked it up, because Ice Spice's manager was like. Cause Cardi was screaming when I say, I played this. I played this leaked audio. And Lainey got up and went in the other room. She was like, bitch, this is too stressful.

[Krystal]

But at one point, Blue Girl dogs are so cunty.

[Kefiri]

She was like, whatever the fuck this is, bitch, I'm trying to nap.

[Krystal]

I don't have nothing to do with this. So.

[Kefiri]

But so Ice Spice's manager, because Cardi was hollering, talking about, put that bitch on the phone. She know what she said. And that's the thing in this whole clip, we never find out what it was Ice Spice actually said because Cardi won't repeat it. She just keeps screaming about putting this bitch on the phone. And so dude was like, oh, she getting ready to do this Empire State thing. And Cardi's like, oh, she in New York. Pull up, pull up. Blah, blah, blah. And so I googled it, and Cardi, not Cardi. Ice Spice did something at the Empire State Building last year. It was like, some kind of award or something. And then just this past July, she was at the Empire State Building promoting something. Something like that. So I don't know if the audio is from last year or from just a couple of months ago, but I feel like, regardless, Latto is like, it's something wrong to me if you even at your most angry, you decide to attack somebody that ain't got shit to do with. It's somebody you always been cool with. Like, a lot of people say shit they don't actually mean when they're angry, but that's a sign of immaturity. And I have said repeatedly about Cardi, one of the main things she needs to do is grow the fuck up. Latto ain't do shit to you. Y' all was supposed to be cool. Why did you. I'm not pussy like Latto. I'm not Nicki. I'll actually fight you, bitch. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All this fucking hollering. Why? Why bring that girl into it?

[Krystal]

She angry.

[Kefiri]

You know, you say, okay, you angry. Can you be an adult about your anger? Cause you, you.

[Krystal]

It's not like most Americans can.

[Kefiri]

Well, I suggest most Americans grow up. Cause you. It's not like you said that about Latto and then you stopped fucking with Latto. You went right back in that girl Smith smiling and kikiing and girl, come be on my album and boy doing songs together. Like you didn't say to her, oh, well, I just want you to know, in case it come out. I was real mad the other day at Ice Spice and cussing out her manager and I said, I'm not pussy like Latto, and I'm sorry. Like, you didn't do that. So some growth and maturity would be great here.

[Krystal]

My only thing thought about it was like, why is she choosing Latto? Cause I definitely remember when Latto was added with Ice Spice. She went directly to the Bronx and shot a whole video. So, like, I feel like I know Latto was always talking about, would you like to fight? I don't. I don't know where that came from. Well, but this is what that was. My only thought, I was like, with this specific person. I remember her specifically making a song where she said that they pull up like Sunday service in 20 black suburbans and then drove 20 of those black Suburbans down the street that Ice Bikes is from. But I don't know why you picked her and she your friend. But.

[Kefiri]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Krystal]

My older thing was like, sweetie mom, right? Get into the class, get into the. The. The management of anger. Because you have many lives to live for and you've already been in, in. In the system over putting your hands on somebody. So why you want to go fight somebody else over something that I'm sure is stupid? That I'm like, I'm sure is stupid.

[Kefiri]

You know it is. Do she even remember what was said at this point?

[Krystal]

Tell these bitches to kiss your ass. I get being angry and I get being frustrated, but you gotta, like, sometimes you gotta be able to woosah because the. You're never gonna go fight somebody. Punch a bitch in the face. Where you at? Send the addy, drop the pin. Da da da da. And don't catch case. That's not how that works. So.

[Kefiri]

Right. So that's what made Me think maybe this was more recent because I don't know if Ice, Spice and Latto had made up by, you know. No, but I mean, like, last year, I don't know when it was that they decided to put all this beef aside. I know they put out a song last month or something like that, so. But I don't know when they actually decided that they was going to let go of this bullshit that Nikki is in the middle of and, you know, just be friends and put out this song for TikTok. So I don't. Again, I couldn't really narrow it down. I would hope Cardi wouldn't be doing all that hollering and screaming and threatening to fight while pregnant. That's what makes me think it was recorded last year. But regardless, you could have handled that a lot better. It ain't no reason that Lotto and all of us should have found out about you saying that at the same damn time.

[Krystal]

I also just like, whatever. So then now there's this Nicki Cardi back and forth that is fucking longer than the Hunger Games Catching Fire. I don't even.

[Kefiri]

It's so fun.

[Krystal]

Oh, God. I'll read some of it.

[Kefiri]

Oh, no. Okay.

[Krystal]

Because, like, the only other. The alternative is to kind of summarize it, and I feel like that's gonna be trickier because I read it and it exasperated me so quickly that I was like, okay, I'm realizing now that I'm not actually retaining any information here because I just hate everything about this. It's so stupid.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

And also sometimes hard to understand.

[Kefiri]

It took me two hours to go through all the tweets and deleted tweets and all the different blogs that had, you know, put all these things. It took me two hours to finally try to get the story straight. It is ridiculous.

[Krystal]

I'm not doing all that. I'm not Googling when the bitch was pregnant. I'm not. I don't give a fuck about none of that. I'm gonna read whatever is right here that you bitches posted. I'm not gonna look for none of that shit that you deleted either. I don't even know why y' all hoes do that. I don't give a. This bad bitch. I don't know why y' all hoes this, man. You bitches are rich and you don't know each other and neither, like, it's not even that fucking deep. And you on the Internet talking about each other's kids. Now you on the Internet calling each other's kids slow and Roaches and vultures. Grown ass women. Both y' all bitches sound crazy. Get over it. It's not that fucking deep. It's not that fucking deep. Neither one of you are model citizens. Neither one of you are anybody's actual fucking role model. You're entertainers. Entertain us with music. I don't give a fuck who wrote what, who didn't write what anymore. Anyway, I'm about to be 40. This bitch over 40. You on your way. I don't care. I'm over it. Why are y' all on the Internet talking about each other's kids? Y' all are grown.

[Kefiri]

Clock it. Clock it. Cause neither.

[Krystal]

I don't give a fuck about none of this shit.

[Kefiri]

Neither one of y' all look good. This is so stupid on both of y'. All.

[Krystal]

You hate each other that bad.

[Kefiri]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Krystal]

You hate a bitch that bad that you gonna be like, oh, one day your kids will be called monkeys and roaches. Oh, your kid is nonverbal. For what? Who fucked whose dad? Who stabbed whose cousin? Did Cardi B walk into your mother's 30th birthday and flip over her cake into her goddamn face? Y' all look crazy. I'm not even reading this shit. I'm not even reading this shit. I don't even fucking care. I don't even care. Y' all both grown, wealthy, successful, beautiful, huge fandoms, loads of potential, doing bigger, better, more enthusiastic, enthusiastic, interesting shit than the average rapper, especially men. And because it's a Tuesday, you on the Internet talk about each other's children.

[Kefiri]

And it has gotten worse. They still going right now as we. As we record. They are still going.

[Krystal]

I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm so good. I will be over here with the Rico's. I'll listen to what Mei got to say. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna just tap into the younger girls. Mona Leo. I'm tap into the, like, what a.

[Kefiri]

Beautiful wedding she had. Beautiful, beautiful. Oh, my God. Mona Leo's wedding was so, so beautiful. Bitch, A tear came to my eye. That man looked good. She looked incredible.

[Krystal]

She married a man. And you got a. And it. And it touched you.

[Kefiri]

It was gorgeous.

[Krystal]

That means something.

[Kefiri]

It was gorgeous. Not only did they all look good, that nigga. I saw that nigga crying when he saw her walking down the aisle. I'm like, okay, good sign, good sign. Good sign.

[Krystal]

Yeah, that's.

[Kefiri]

The baby was cute. The pink everywhere, the flowers, everything about. I said, oh, Mona Leo. Oh, my God. Girl, I'm eating it the fuck up. But I said the same. I. Once I got to the bottom of this and figured out who started what and blah, blah, blah, blah, and found all Nicki's deleted tweets and all that, I said, let me go stream Hiss.

[Krystal]

Oh, well, Nicki 1000% started it.

[Kefiri]

Oh, yes. But I said, let me. I'm just gonna go. I'm just gonna go play Hiss. I need to listen to a real rapper doing real shit because you two going back and forth like this, and Nicki being triggered by this girl's album doing well and teasing this album that's six months away. You probably ain't even recording nothing for this shit yet. And yet you bringing it up and talking about how you still can't.

[Krystal]

It seems like she stays in the studio. I'm sure Nikki has a huge vault full of stuff, so I'm not surprised that she could drop another album. But like I said last week or whenever I feel like she did announce, like, a drop, that date because it was the weekend or, you know, it was like, a day or two after Cardi's album comes out. Then all of a sudden, you poking at her, calling her Barney because she said, A, B, C, D, E, F, G on the line. And I'm just like, girl, you're Nikki. Like, everybody could hold my dick. Are you serious?

[Kefiri]

Like, and she's still doing it, and.

[Krystal]

You pick it back and forth, and then you jumping on and talking about roaches and vultures. We talking about her kid. And then she, of course, jump in and don't even have the sense to just be like, I'm gonna come at you.

[Kefiri]

No.

[Krystal]

Nah, I'm gonna come at your kid, too. And ability to have kids and stuff. You both look crazy.

[Kefiri]

Yeah. Yeah. Both of y' all need to grow the fuck up.

[Krystal]

And now I don't give a fuck who has a bop, who has a classic who. I don't care at all. You both like. Cause now you're jumping in the middle, throwing jabs at kids. These kids will grow up old enough to see these things.

[Kefiri]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Krystal]

Cause they're not going anywhere.

[Kefiri]

Right? Even if the. Even if the tweets are deleted, this isn't going anywhere. This will always be online. And just because Cardi said something about your child does not mean she was talking shit about your child. Now, why you on the Internet writing essays when it's Papa Bear's birthday? I'll never understand, but that's what she said. Bitch, go to Chuck E. Cheese. Why are you writing essays about me when it's your child's birthday.

[Krystal]

That was fierce.

[Kefiri]

You the one who turned around and started calling culture ugly and said, you and your sister ugly and y' all monkeys and roaches. Which, of course, is a reference to when Cardi said the same thing about certain black women. And so I understand where that's coming from. And at the same time, culture didn't do shit. Blossom. And calling culture ugly and all this baby four like, what? You are 43 years old.

[Krystal]

I thank you, Barney B.

[Kefiri]

Do you think that's funny? That's not funny, bitch.

[Krystal]

That's Barney B's.

[Kefiri]

That's whack.

[Krystal]

She does. She does. She does, she does. And she thinks an AI Barney with Cardi B wig on is also funny. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. You are one of the best rappers to rap. You're one of the have done some of the most interesting things with hip hop visuals, period. Why are you arguing with a bitch that's 10 years younger than you?

[Kefiri]

Again.

[Krystal]

Again, they're not talking about you. She called out bitches by name on this album, and they say shit to you.

[Kefiri]

Why? Why?

[Krystal]

And now we're talking about babies.

[Kefiri]

Culture's seven years old.

[Krystal]

I don't give a fuck what none of y' all talking about. Cali, I'm over here with the girls, all the newer, younger girls. Ken the man, all the other girlies, step to the front. Yeah, step to the front. I'm over it. I'm over it. I'm over it. I'm over it. I wish all of the other the big time girlies the best. And I hope that you get into the room with the people. Cause this shit was like, are you serious?

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Are you serious?

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Y' all bitches got the crown and the baton and the kingdom and the throne room or whatever. And you playing outside with the jesters.

[Kefiri]

Millions of dollars move. You can just go get on a private jet whenever you want to move and go to some island or the south of France, anywhere on the fuck. You can spin a globe and point to someplace and gas up the jet and go. And this is how you spend your time. Nikki obviously dead ass wrong for calling Culture and Cardi's other kids roaches and Monkey. Cardi dead ass wrong for being like, your pussy is rancid. And that's why your child is slow. And he over here banging spoons on pots because your mama couldn't put the drugs down.

[Krystal]

And all, like, ridiculous.

[Kefiri]

Both of y' all sound crazy.

[Krystal]

Are you in eighth grade.

[Kefiri]

Yeah, emotionally, they both are. And then jt. What?

[Krystal]

I don't even know what the fuck she's. I ain't playing.

[Kefiri]

Oh, well, I guess JT is still trying hard to make sure she stay in Nikki's good graces. But why she jumped in.

[Krystal]

Why?

[Kefiri]

Why, why?

[Krystal]

When has that ever worked out for anybody?

[Kefiri]

It does not make sense, jt Cussing out Cardi. Going live on Twitter and talking shit about Cardi and this album and talking about her sales are fraudulent. Her numbers are fraudulent. Baby, why would you talk about. First of all, and I think it's already double platinum, jt.

[Krystal]

Great.

[Kefiri]

You, baby, when I say you have zero space to talk about anybody else's numbers or success or anything else. So now you going back and forth with Hennessy, Cardi's sister, about Jesus Christ a lot.

[Krystal]

Are you f. I don't.

[Kefiri]

And bringing up Nicki's stats and Nicki's out all this, and you still couldn't out say, oh, Red Ruby. Bitch, none of this has anything to do with you. Why are you in it?

[Krystal]

Well, she did get dissed on the record.

[Kefiri]

Well, okay, so. Yes. And so that song. You can go ahead and fire back at Cardi all you want to about that song. Talk about how you were involved, but arguing your point, using somebody else's success. Bitch, please hop off of Nikki's dick. What does Nikki do for you, Chai T?

[Krystal]

You write too. Like, you write and actually treasure rap. Write a dis. Like, go dis her.

[Kefiri]

And I think she does have a song coming out on Friday. That's what I saw on the. Okay, well, the Breakfast Club was talking about this. That's what Lauren. But child, I.

[Krystal]

Cause when Nicki and Cardi were. I don't even know if Nick. No, yeah, Cardi did get involved in this. They were doing. Nikki started doing this like a B, C, D, E, F, G thing. And then she would do like. Like eight bars that were shady, right? And then Cardi did it. And I was like, I saw that first. And I was like, this is stupid as fuck, but at least they're rapping.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

I was like, at least this. These are rhymes. I guess I'll take it. Then it was, oh, your baby is banging spoons together and your kids are roaches just like their sister.

[Kefiri]

Oh, man. And what Cardi said about you been having cum stains in your mouth cause your daddy molested you as a child.

[Krystal]

I said, God damn, I forgot about that part.

[Kefiri]

What the fuck, bro?

[Krystal]

Girl, what are you gonna sleep with both you Gonna sleep with both eyes tight tonight. You just gonna go to bed. Cool.

[Kefiri]

And I didn't even know I hadn't. When I was listening to the album last week, I had stopped, like, I don't know, maybe not even halfway through. So I didn't even know. She repeated that line that she tweeted last year about she would rather die on the table than have a ugly body or whatever. I didn't even know she put that in the album.

[Krystal]

That's why I thought you brought it up.

[Kefiri]

No, she tweeted it last year talking about something I said.

[Krystal]

She was talking about Bia Girl.

[Kefiri]

You what? On that song she was, but on Twitter, she was talking about somebody else. The point being, you care so deeply about the way you look that you repeated multiple times and then put it on wax to live for all eternity, that you'd rather die than look a certain way. You must be planning to never have surgery again. Cause why would you say that? Bitch, anything can happen. You can go to the best doctor in the world and still have complications. Why would you put that into the. I don't even know why you would say some shit like that when you got three and a half kids to live for. What? I get it. Nikki pissed you off. Nikki can really get under your skin. And, I mean, I understand that, but the way you respond to her is a reflection of both of y'. All. Nikki, I've been asking for years, what the fuck is wrong with you? I've been asking four years, what is wrong with this bitch? What is your issue with Jay Z? And then she said today, just an hour ago or so, that Jay Z's kids are next talking about. We gonna talk about Jay Z's kids next, bitch. I bet the fuck you won't. I bet the fuck you will not. I bet that fuck you'll keep it cute.

[Krystal]

I bet blue, roomy and stuff do it.

[Kefiri]

I bet that do it.

[Krystal]

I bet that bitch do it. Do it.

[Kefiri]

I bet you won't talk about them children. I bet you will not.

[Krystal]

Do it, do it, do it.

[Kefiri]

Girl, you better watch your fucking self.

[Krystal]

Do it.

[Kefiri]

Cause Beyonce leave you alone in your psychosis and your coke rants, but you talk about blue, roomy or sergeant, you gonna have real fucking problems. Don't do it.

[Krystal]

Do it. Do it. Bitch, you must think you galactus. Ain't nobody think about, like.

[Kefiri]

Keep it the fuck, Q. You're out of your mind.

[Krystal]

Go for it. Go for it.

[Kefiri]

Everybody involved needs to call that lady right the fuck now. Y' all need therapists y' all need psychiatrists. Y' all need medication regimens, and y' all need to delete your fucking socials. This is ridiculous. How did. How did it get this?

[Krystal]

At least I could sort of, like, navigate the shit that Cardi was saying. Nicki's was mixed with all this. Like, by the blood of the lamb, a curse shall come upon your crops and Hennessy's crops and Jay Z and Desiree's crops.

[Kefiri]

I didn't say that. And the talking about don't stream that album because it's evil in the music and it'll get downloaded to your psyche or some weird shit like, bitch, are.

[Krystal]

You in your right mind?

[Kefiri]

Are you?

[Krystal]

You. You shut your ass up.

[Kefiri]

Yeah, both of y', all. This is.

[Krystal]

Put the music out and be quiet.

[Kefiri]

I bet you'll leave Blue, Roomy, and Sarah out of it. I bet you'll do that.

[Krystal]

I.

[Kefiri]

You ain't that far out your mind. You ain't that. You ain't that deep off of it. Girl, don't watch yourself.

[Krystal]

Write the check. Write the check. Cause I promise you. I promise you, it's not hidden outside for you the way that you think that it is. It's not.

[Kefiri]

Here it is. Camel.

[Krystal]

Let's talk about your kids. That's why you're this tight on the Internet, talking about people's fucking kids that you never met because you frustrated. It's not hitting. It's not hitting. So go for it. Write the chat.

[Kefiri]

Dear Culture Vulture, your mom is pregnant with another monkey to add to her litter. The gag is that she was jealous of a little baby boy simply because his hair was longer than all four of you bald monkeys put together.

[Krystal]

42 years old.

[Kefiri]

We're talking about seven year old children. Seven five one and still in the oven. And you are. You are calling these children monkeys and roaches and compare. And talking about hair length. Hair. Are you kidding? All right. I could not believe my nigga when I got to the bottom of this and saw how wild both of them got. Cause I didn't even realize they were at it last night. I said, y' all are doing all this when the Fever and the Aces are battling for a spot in the.

[Krystal]

Finals, it started really like, silly, petty, shady. All right, whatever. Your album sucks.

[Kefiri]

Ah. You rap like I outsold. Uh huh. That's as far as it should have went.

[Krystal]

But then when they just chose to be like, let me attack your children.

[Kefiri]

Yeah, yeah. Calling the kids these names for what? The kids didn't do nothing.

[Krystal]

They have not done anything.

[Kefiri]

Same Way Papa Bear didn't do nothing to Cardi. Cardi's kids didn't do shit to Nicki. Why are you doing it all these.

[Krystal]

Children have done that I have seen, that I know about is be fucking.

[Kefiri]

Cute calling Kulture ugly. Like, come on now. Kulture is a beautiful little girl. And even if she wasn't, who talk.

[Krystal]

Thank you.

[Kefiri]

Who does that?

[Krystal]

Regardless of what the fuck this child looked like, if she wasn't glistening and gorgeous the way that she is, why are you talking about this baby that ain't did shit to you. You hate her. Mama.

[Kefiri]

It's a sign to grow up. It's a sign to grow up. You feel that way about a child and you say something like that about a child, that's a sign. You need to go to therapy real bad. Real bad. Neither one of y' all are done. Yikes.

[Krystal]

Y' all need tappers. I'm done.

[Kefiri]

This was. I just could not fucking believe it.

[Krystal]

I didn't even expect myself to get this outraged. I was just, like, reading this when I read, like, the back and forth. I just got so exhausted because you know I'll already be over when the female rappers be beefing and it's over. Dumb shit. I'm like, collaborate. Support one another. Every single one of y' all are better than these niggas.

[Kefiri]

Dumb shit.

[Krystal]

But fine. But calling the babies roaches, animals, really, and talking about their health and making.

[Kefiri]

Fun of intellectual disabilities and all, this.

[Krystal]

Girl, really, because of an album, because of a talent, because of a song, because of talk about her.

[Kefiri]

And there's so much to talk about. Both of y' all have so much to talk about when it comes to the other grown ass woman. Cause both of them are goofy ass birds. So it's a lot to say about both of them. Why are the kids in it? Go to therapy.

[Krystal]

I'm locked in with the younger generation. I wanna see what the younger ladies have to talk about. They have a lot to offer. They're working very, very, very hard. And I don't see the point in wasting my time and my streams continuously on people who are at the front of the pack who should be setting an example or at least doing the best that they can. And you choosing because of ego and whatever the fuck else to get online and be destructive towards innocent kids.

[Kefiri]

Yeah, it's a sign that you need to go to therapy because I can't even act like I've never been that miserable. But you know what? I needed therapy. I needed therapy, bitch. I needed to go get my fucking mental health together. Because it was something wrong with me. It's something wrong with y' all that this is how y' all act about kids.

[Krystal]

Stream for promotional use only by lakeley47 stream toxic chocolate. Oh, that one's an older one. That's just the last one I Listen to. By Ms. Katley Stream.

[Kefiri]

Ray, are y'. All. Are y' all up on Ray? She's a fun, biracial British girl. I'm pretty sure she's biracial. Great music. Not a rapper, but I love Ray. Great vocalist. Going on tour. Child, I was sick. Them tickets sold out or whatever. Well, I couldn't get none after like ten fucking minutes. Child, go. Go to Mona Leo's TikTok and get caught up on her wedding. When I say gorgeous. Oh, my God.

[Krystal]

Stream. Anyways, whatever. By Ken the Man. Amazing beat, amazing lines. Stream everything by Dochi. Stream Lady London. I mean, the girls are here. Yeah, you've got options.

[Kefiri]

Not doing all of this. Yes, actually stream C Chyna because that's the real bitch right there.

[Krystal]

The fuck out of C Chyna.

[Kefiri]

Lo Milly again. Meg, When I tell you. I had to go listen to Meg to rinse my fucking brain off. I couldn't believe what these bitches were doing. Rico Nasty. Literally anybody. Tierra Whack.

[Krystal]

Gloria Wack.

[Kefiri]

So stupid, bro.

[Krystal]

I'm over it. Flying A Boss.

[Kefiri]

Did you hear Dr. I didn't. I completely forgot.

[Krystal]

I haven't listened to all of it yet. It's. It's. I don't know how I'm gonna feel by the end of it. It's pop. It's pop funk.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

And some of the songs, it's like you could have just sang on this one because you have a fine singing voice or you could have just rapped on it. Like. Some of them. Don't need both.

[Kefiri]

Okay, well.

[Krystal]

But I love the production because I'm an 80s. Well.

[Kefiri]

Well. And she's always been very good at that. And I remember when she used to go. She used to go live and show us how she was making beats and stuff. So she's quite talented. But I saw a TikTok that reminded me of when she clowned us for liking her music. Remember when she was like, you bitches fell for my shit? That was just a. That, that really put a bad.

[Krystal]

That's the first thing I thought of. Yeah, that's the first thing I thought of when I listened to this was.

[Kefiri]

Like how you make.

[Krystal]

So you go back to the trash ass music that you said you make.

[Kefiri]

Fun of us for liking that shit, and then you win. And are you. Are you? For sure. But.

[Krystal]

All right, stream Cleo Trapper and stream London Hill. Yeah, Stream Vicki Low.

[Kefiri]

43 and 32. 42 and 32. Whatever. It don't matter. Y' all are both extremely grown.

[Krystal]

I mean, extraordinary, decorated.

[Kefiri]

Inspirational mothers and wives. And this is how y' all are behaving? Caresha, Please.

[Krystal]

I think that's it. I think this is just a perfect way to just end that.

[Kefiri]

All right? Cause what the fuck?

[Krystal]

That's gonna be it.

[Kefiri]

I just so stupid, man.

[Krystal]

I didn't know there was rage inside. I was just like, I don't know how I'm gonna read about this.

[Kefiri]

You thought you were tired, but you were tired from. Yeah, you were tired because it's that goddamn stupid. Why are you.

[Krystal]

All right, that's the Hot Topic. We'll take it. Ready to come back? Sometimes an identity threat is a ring of professional hackers. And sometimes it's an overworked accountant who forgot to encrypt their connection while sending bank details. I need a coffee. And you need Lifelock because your info is in endless places. It only takes one mistake to expose you to identity theft. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second.

[Kefiri]

If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it, guaranteed.

[Krystal]

Or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year at lifelock.com specialoffer terms apply. Okay, we're back. And it is time for letters.

[Kefiri]

Yes, it is. Send your questions to askthereadmail.com we may just read them aloud on the show. Our first letter this week comes from Priscilla. And Priscilla says, my baby daddy is abstaining from sex, smoking and drinking in prep for our new baby, who's on the way. I'm very.

[Krystal]

Sex, smoking and drinking.

[Kefiri]

Yes. She's going to explain why here in just a minute.

[Krystal]

Okay.

[Kefiri]

You were like, what, the. The baby already here? Like, the baby already in that uterus, girl. Yeah, I'm proud of him.

[Krystal]

You can still.

[Kefiri]

She finna tell you why.

[Krystal]

Yeah, I figured.

[Kefiri]

I'm proud of him, but I desperately need to be cracked. He's doing so well for these. He's been doing so well these last three months and is going to therapy, but I've never been so riled up in my whole life. I'm worse than a teenager, and honestly, I'm even worse than a man. He said he would be conflicted, but would understand if I gave in and had sex with somebody else, which gave me a big red flag. Fuck you mean nigga. He says that sex with me is the best he's ever had, but it's distracting him from wanting to complete his goals at work and staying focused. He was laid off from his Wall street job earlier this year and relied on his vices heavily, which caused us to temporarily split up. So I don't want to seem unsupportive. Now that he's cleaning up his act, he thinks that I'm changing his life for the better. And now he's so much more supportive. He's back to being more like the man I met before he got laid off. However, every time the wind blows I need that dick like spongebob needs water. Please help me. I fear if we do it he will start thinking that it's okay to have a drink and he's not there yet cause we all remember spongebob. Out of water child. That nigga looked so scary. He's a very intelligent business analyst working a job that underpays him. And he has ADHD in 2025's America. So I get trying to stay on the straight and narrow, but Ms. Nonnie down there do not care. Before we split up, we had sex every weekend and never left the house because that's all we did from Friday at 6pm till Monday at 7am that's why that baby on the way. Yes, we both have issues with sensory thrills like weed and sex. So I'm struggling real bad and right now I can't even smoke to ease the cravings. I can't even eat unhealthy right now because I'm pregnant. I'm struggling. And yes, I'm in therapy too, but I haven't told my therapist that I took him back yet because I'm ashamed. I haven't told anyone but one friend for safety reasons due to his old drinking binges. He's come a long way, but everyone makes mistakes. His accomplishments make me fall for him all over again and that's making it even harder for us. Sometimes he starts talking about what he wishes he could do to me and then he needs to leave the room to decompress and calm down. Any advice? I have two to three more months before I give birth and DIY is not doing it anymore. Plus I know after I give birth I have to wait two more months with that wound inside of me. What can I do to calm down and also be more supportive? I feel like I'm borderline pressuring him and withdrawing from him whenever I'm horny. It sounds like these Days. You are horny all the time, girl. Thanks.

[Krystal]

All the time. All of it.

[Kefiri]

Thanks, Priscilla. I've heard this about that. So second and early into the third trimester, the girls are like, dick me down.

[Krystal]

I've heard that too.

[Kefiri]

Now I need it.

[Krystal]

I've heard that too.

[Kefiri]

Oh, bless you.

[Krystal]

Well, I mean, it sounds like you are pretty pleased with your man's dedication and progression. And on the flip side of that, you're dealing with just your body. Unrelenting horniness, natural desires and those being exacerbated by whatever chemicals are working to overdrive or whatever forcing through you.

[Kefiri]

And he's cleaning his act up. So that makes you want to fuck him even more because you see him.

[Krystal]

Yeah, you're probably even more attractive, right?

[Kefiri]

So this is really hard.

[Krystal]

Yikes.

[Kefiri]

Poor girl. But he's like, I can't. I can is a slippery slope. I'm a fuck you once and then I'm going to be snorting coke and binge drinking again. I can't do it. Girl, your pussy is a gateway drug.

[Krystal]

Yeah, that's probably something for him to explore with the people. But I guess because I'm like, there's nothing immediately wrong here and I don't know, there's not. It's also not like you can converse your way through this. You're going to be horny.

[Kefiri]

Yes.

[Krystal]

You're going to be horny. So is it like a sex toy thing?

[Kefiri]

She said DIY is not helping. She is.

[Krystal]

Oh, yeah, she.

[Kefiri]

She said the rose and all them toys, they were, they. They can scratch the itch for a minute, but that bitch come right back. There's nothing like real dick. It's nothing like a person's body on top of you. That's what she said.

[Krystal]

Maybe you should look into, you know, like Woo Woo TikTok or those people who do their sex shit where they don't have sex where they just like hover over each other's body parts and go like, I'm thinking about it. Oh yeah, I'm spiritually coming. They.

[Kefiri]

I don't even think she can handle that. I actually think he can't even pull that dick out around her. Yo, yo.

[Krystal]

No, I don't think he even get naked. She said, I don't think those people get naked.

[Kefiri]

So she put this in like parentheses, but she said they can't even cuddle because she just started melting and being like, you know what? It's time. It's time. What the fuck? He need to talk to his therapist and you need to talk to Yours. You said you haven't told your therapist that you took him back yet because you're ashamed. Sounds like when he got laid off and he was really hitting the drugs and the alcohol heavy, he started acting like an asshole. And maybe he said or did things that are inexcusable to everybody else. But I would encourage you to work past that shame and tell your therapist that you took this man back because your therapist knows you and this situation way better than we do. And she'll probably have more practical advice. But if I don't understand why he's not telling his therapist, like, look, I'm scared to fucking because I'm scared I'm gonna go back down that road and I don't wanna lose my girl again.

[Krystal]

So, like, yeah, that's confusing.

[Kefiri]

But she, Every time I text her, she'd be like, my pussy is dripping. Where you at? So what? What can I do? What can I do?

[Krystal]

Yeah, I agree. Because it feels like, at least in that case, you could have an understanding or a conversation between the two of you that might lead to some sort of an idea of a compromise or a resolution.

[Kefiri]

Right?

[Krystal]

Because Chris was right. You not telling your therapist kind of holds. It kind of prevents you from getting insight on the situation that you need and that we can't provide because we don't know. So that could send you home with, like, an idea or a possible answer or whatever. And the same thing with him. Definitely with him, I would be like, I'm afraid to fuck this girl because I. I think it's a slippery slope and it might. I don't know what it is. That has to be worked out regardless, right? Of how horny you are because you're pregnant or not pregnant, whatever. That it's just something to talk about. And I think similarly, he could come home and be like, hurrah. It's not the. The sex itself that could do such and such. It's that we have sex with the lights off or just stop talking. But I'm just saying, like, I agree that you both definitely should be speaking to professional people about how you're feeling about this situation. And ideally, it can start to inform how you interact so there isn't this big unnecessary wall up. Cause he's not. Not fucking you because he isn't attracted to you or because you did something wrong. And you know, you're not saying, oh, we can't cuddle because, you know, I hate your guts or you're smelly or whatever. You're just like, I want to fuck you so Bad, Right?

[Kefiri]

Probably even the smell of him turns you on.

[Krystal]

It's just right shit.

[Kefiri]

And the dick is right there. You can't have none. How dare he? How dare he.

[Krystal]

There's this wall up.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

That it seems is there to protect the both of you, but it might not need to be there. Maybe it doesn't need to be that big, that tall. Or maybe it doesn't need to be a wall. Maybe it could be a little gate.

[Kefiri]

Right? Because this is not sustainable in the long term. You can't abstain from sex forever at all while you in a relationship so that you don't go back to drinking and smoking. Like, we have to learn how to fuck again without going off the deep end. So, yeah, he's gonna have to. He's going to have to work that out somehow. It's not sustainable or realistic to expect you to never have sex again because this man is scared of what else he'll do. So he's definitely gonna have to talk to somebody. But be real with your therapist about what's going on. Cause that. Yeah, I get it. You know, it's like, oof, he really put me through it. I don't wanna tell people that I took his ass back. But, you know, therapists aren't supposed to be that judgmental. I can see why. Maybe you only told one friend. But a therapist should really be able to empathize and help you work through whatever it is you're going through. Like, I can't tell you how many times clients made decisions that I that go directly against what we have been talking about. That happened all the time when I was a student therapist. But when I tell you, people will pull up and be like, okay, you finna be mad. And I'm like, I'm not finna be mad. I'm not finna be mad. But just tell me so that we can help you work through, you know, this decision and whatever else you're facing. I'm glad it helps.

[Krystal]

You can also go, like, think about how much any given therapist hears and all of the sessions they have in a week.

[Kefiri]

You taking this man back, and he's your child's father. I don't think anybody would be shocked by that.

[Krystal]

No, I don't think it's gonna be.

[Kefiri]

Most pregnant women don't want to be separated from the man who impregnated them. That's pretty.

[Krystal]

And most therapists know that, right?

[Kefiri]

That's pretty understandable, baby. So, yeah. But it is great. It's great that he realized what he lost through substances and decided to clean his shit up. It's just, you know, we need him to pull it back just a little bit.

[Krystal]

Cause after you give birth, not just with words.

[Kefiri]

You got them eight weeks.

[Krystal]

She said that she's seeing him. She's saying she's recognizing the man she fell in love with or whatever. And so it's like actually working out.

[Kefiri]

Right?

[Krystal]

And that's fire. So I get it. But sex is still sex. It's. Regardless of how horny you are or more than usual or less, it's still a really vital part of a loving relationship. And again, yeah, it doesn't sound like he don't want to fuck you. It sounds like you don't want to lose you.

[Kefiri]

Right?

[Krystal]

Which is.

[Kefiri]

He said, I gotta he looking at you. And he like, I got to leave the room. Cause I'm finna. Yeah, I'm finna violate my own boundaries.

[Krystal]

You got all them little shorts I like.

[Kefiri]

Yeah. And you probably not making it no easier just bending over in front of that nigga.

[Krystal]

All purpose. Just all burpees in front of SportsCenter. Ooh, I dropped my phone.

[Kefiri]

Oh, man. Good luck, baby. And good luck with the delivery. Our next letter comes from Vanessa, who says, my partner Chris has a best friend, Owen that he's known since he was 5. I used to work with Chris's best friend Amanda, who is now married to Owen. We are all in our early 40s. Amanda and I used to hang out casually, but whenever I'm around her and her set of friends, I do not feel welcome. But I did meet Chris through her and after we became a couple, the four of us would go to shows or chill at the house drinking and watching movies. Over the years, Amanda and I didn't hang out as much. We live about an hour away from each other in a metropolitan area. But I still extended invites to things like kids, graduations and birthdays. Chris and Owen have always stayed close. When Amanda and Owen got engaged, it was assumed that Chris would be the best man, but he wasn't. It was another friend in Chris and Owen's friend group. I was newer to the crew, but I felt like it was odd knowing how close Chris and Owen are. Even people within the friend group thought it was strange, but Chris didn't make a big deal of it. It's been about 11 years since I met Amanda and I've been with Chris for almost the same amount of time. Amanda and Owen had a baby and moved to a new home late last year. They already have a four year old and one of Chris and Owen's friends was asked to be the godfather of the four year old back when the baby was first born again. Chris didn't say anything to his friend about it. Chris is a very supportive friend and is kind of like a peacekeeper in the group. When Amanda had her second child, Owen asked Chris to be the godfather. Chris was so honored and he's an amazing dad and as godfather, he would take his responsibility seriously. One of Chris and Owen's friends is dealing with cancer and Owen asked Chris if he wouldn't mind if they now instead make that other friend the godfather. Chris said, of course, anything to hopefully keep his spirits up. I feel upset for Chris because in the biggest milestones of his friend, who is more like a brother's life, like the wedding and the birth of two children, he has been overlooked and mistreated. There are six or seven really close friends in their friend group, but Chris and Owen are the closest. I think Amanda doesn't respect Chris and looks down on him. Chris is a nice, humble guy who doesn't have the status that I think Amanda considers to be successful. I think Amanda is more concerned about how life appears on paper as opposed to what life actually is in reality. Do y' all think I should say something to Amanda since I did know her first, or should I leave it alone and let Chris be okay with being walked all over? Thanks, Vanessa. Well.

[Krystal]

I mean, I think that first of all, as you're. I'm like the godfather thing.

[Kefiri]

Will you be the godfather? And then we don't take it back because this other nigga got cancer is like.

[Krystal]

I don't know how you have that conversation. Like, I like cause to be okay. Me?

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

If you come to me and say that, I wouldn't give a fuck because respectfully, I wouldn't give a fuck about being a baby godfather.

[Kefiri]

I mean, it depends on what you mean by godfather. Some people take it seriously and they mean like, oh, the person responsible for my child's religious upbringing and blah, blah, blah. And some people mean, oh, this is the person who'll take my child, you know, if I die. And other people just mean, oh, godfather. You know, you just my best friend, so you're the godfather. And it don't really mean nothing.

[Krystal]

So I feel like most people mean.

[Kefiri]

Yes, I do too. I think most people just mean, you know, it's just like this honor that you just kind of toss on somebody and that's that.

[Krystal]

Right? So to me it's like, okay, so I'm not number two in your top eight, I'm number three.

[Kefiri]

Right. I just don't.

[Krystal]

I wouldn't give a fuck. But I also given a lot of the history and stuff here. Understand? Was it Vanessa?

[Kefiri]

Vanessa, yep.

[Krystal]

What Vanessa is saying.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

The question is, is it. What is your place and how do you navigate that place?

[Kefiri]

That's it. That is the question indeed. What is everybody's place here? Cause, I mean, I kind of feel like my first reaction is, what does Chris want you to do?

[Krystal]

That's what I'm like, is he. Is he tired about this?

[Kefiri]

Right, Right.

[Krystal]

Does he want someone?

[Kefiri]

Would he. Have you talked to him about it? Does he say, you know, leave it alone, it ain't that big of a deal? Or does he say, you know, yeah, it kind of hurts, but I'm not gonna say nothing. Like, does he want somebody to advocate for him? Some people find that easier. Or would he rather you leave it alone? I think asking, checking in with Chris about it should be the number one thing to do here.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Kefiri]

Because, I mean, you. You. You framed it as, should I leave it and let Chris be okay with being walked over? Maybe Chris doesn't think he's being walked over. Maybe he doesn't take it anywhere near as seriously as you do. Maybe that's what I'm saying.

[Krystal]

Like, if it were me, you wouldn't have to be like, okay, fury. So I say, this Saturday, when we all get to Dave and Buster's, we just say it. We just say it. And I'm just like, say what? Right, Right. You know how you're being mistreated and walked all over and everybody thinks you're shit and you're ugly and your armpits smell like, wait, how did we get there? What are you talking. My armpit? Like, what? What? Like, I couldn't help but think, like, is this something that you feel like you've just been witnessing a pattern of people being like, fuck Chris?

[Kefiri]

Yeah, that's what it's like.

[Krystal]

Or do you feel like this situation could have been handled better? Because on top of it, like, I'm also going, it's not like they asked this other friend in the group to be the goddad because he just won a Grammy.

[Kefiri]

Right. It sounds like he might be dying. And so, you know, damn.

[Krystal]

It's like a beautiful thing to do with this person we love, right? Who we hope sticks. Like, it's a thing to get. I don't know. I hear where Vanessa is coming from, but I think that you're right. And then I would go to Chris and just be like, so.

[Kefiri]

Mm.

[Krystal]

I've been thinking. You tell me what you think. And Chris might just be like, oh.

[Kefiri]

Girl, leave it alone, baby.

[Krystal]

It's fine.

[Kefiri]

Not that big of a deal.

[Krystal]

Or you also kind of said, like, chris might be like, yeah, you kind of stung, but it's fine. Like, I don't really take things like that personally. Which would mean, like, maybe, like, definitely you don't say anything to anybody.

[Kefiri]

Right.

[Krystal]

But maybe you and Chris build a thing where, you know, on the. The friends trip, something like that happens maybe at conversation when they're bringing out dessert, and you look at each other. Mm. And you just have that kind of bond. Right. We see each other.

[Kefiri]

Right.

[Krystal]

Kind of thing. And you laugh about it because Chris isn't confrontational. Chris doesn't really care. Chris doesn't really bother.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

I just don't think. I don't know if Vanessa should say anything, but it just sounded like Vanessa was giving.

[Kefiri]

Not my man.

[Krystal]

Looking to the right, looking to the left, looking to the right, looking to the left. Oh, yeah.

[Kefiri]

And. And that. I think that's very common for us to feel super protective over our partners, even in ways that they necessarily aren't. They don't have, you know, their guard up and they don't feel the way about it, but we see them, you know, being mistreated or what we perceive to be mistreatment, and we're like, oh, hell no. Not my man. So I get. I. I agree. I get the feelings here, but it's not something I would bring up. If you simply must, then I wouldn't bring up the Godfather thing or the best man thing. I would just ask Amanda, because I would say, I feel like you look down on my man. I feel like you don't respect him. You feel like because he don't have X, y, Z, that he's not good enough, and blah, blah, blah. And so I just wanted to clear the air with you because I think that's totally fair. Yeah. Because that makes it about Amanda and what she has done, and it doesn't bring Owen into it or his relationship with Chris. It's more like, this is the feeling I get based off.

[Krystal]

This is how I feel about you.

[Kefiri]

Right. This is how I feel about you. This is based off my feelings about you. So you let me know, am I clocking it incorrectly or what? Cause based off of that, you know, if she responds with, well, yeah, your man don't have a master's degree, so I think he's trash or whatever, then you could be like, oh, bitch, fuck you. I'll. I'll rock your shit right here in the Kroger parking lot.

[Krystal]

Yeah. Then you can just. Siesta key, bitch. I don't know why I'm just. Excuse. Siesta key. For some reason, I never really thought. Let's fight.

[Kefiri]

Let's just fight.

[Krystal]

Let's just fight.

[Kefiri]

Let's just fight.

[Krystal]

Let's throw these fucking limaritas and let's fight.

[Kefiri]

Right? But, you know, otherwise.

[Krystal]

I agree.

[Kefiri]

Yeah. Otherwise, you kind of got to let Chris. Until Chris tells you, you know, would you mind stepping in and doing something with this? Then I would leave his relationship with Owen out of it.

[Krystal]

Totally.

[Kefiri]

Best of luck to you, babe. Our last thing.

[Krystal]

Because you also don't want to be the person that's in the relationship with the person in the friend group. But then the friend group is like, ugh, here, go.

[Kefiri]

Oh, my God.

[Krystal]

Yes.

[Kefiri]

Even when you write nosy ass wife, here she come making problems, bitch. You don't get our dynamic. Like, they've been friends since they were five. Stay. Stay out of that. But you knew Amanda first to be like, I. I've known you for a long time, bitch, and I don't like the way I feel like you. You treating my man. What's up? Yeah, good luck. Good luck, babe. Our last letter comes from Carla, who says my mom moved her felon boyfriend in with us back in April after he got out of I stand for y', all, man. Said felon has kidney failure and is on dialysis multiple times a week. She is taking off work to be with him at appointments.

[Krystal]

Where's the meteor? I can't. Okay. Can you start all over?

[Kefiri]

Sure.

[Krystal]

This is so good.

[Kefiri]

No problem. My mom. My mom moved her felon boyfriend in with us back in April after he got out of prison. Said felon has kidney failure and is on dialysis multiple times a week.

[Krystal]

Jesus Christ.

[Kefiri]

She is taking off work to be with him at appointments, but has also neglected my sisters who have not been to the doctor or to the dentist themselves. Damn, is your mama Kiki Wyatt. My mother constantly expects my 17 year old sister to do things for my 10 year old sister that she should be doing as a mother, like waking her up in the morning, making sure she's dressed, doing her hair, going to school, making sure she's in bed, on time at night, et cetera. My sister was expressing to our mother that she won't be at home forever because she's going to be 18 soon. So my mom needs to teach our younger sister how to do things herself. Jesus Christ. She also spoke about our mother's boyfriend and how our mother does things for him all the time but won't do those same things, same things for her kids. He also says things that make my sister so uncomfortable that they barely leave their rooms.

[Krystal]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Kefiri]

This triggered my mom and she attacked my sister and physically fought her. I went to pick up my sister that night and she stayed with me for four days. My mom did not speak to either of us until two days after the incident happened.

[Krystal]

She messaged us, sensing a pattern in this one.

[Kefiri]

She messaged us in the group chat saying, I love you and I know you may be angry, but I'm going to apologize for attacking you. I told my therapist everything that happened, as I always do. I trust my therapist so much that I even referred my sister to her. So my therapist has heard things about my mother from both me and my sister. My therapist told me that it was her job to report abuse, which. It is work, period. It is. You're supposed to.

[Krystal]

I knew she was gonna say that.

[Kefiri]

Yes.

[Krystal]

I knew she was gonna say that.

[Kefiri]

The therapist said, oh, unfortunately, I do now have to get the law involved.

[Krystal]

When's the sentencing?

[Kefiri]

It was her job to report abuse as this isn't the first time that my mother has punched my sister. I've also told my therapist about the neglect. Right. That my sisters are experiencing. So she called DHS during our session.

[Krystal]

Love it.

[Kefiri]

VHS contacted my mother three days later. I really wanted to warn her about it, but my mom is so emotionally immature and unstable that I knew she would overreact, as she always does. She got mad, called me and said she don't have to fuck with any of us anymore and that she's kicking me off of car insurance and she has not spoken to me since. I sent her a long email explaining my concerns and feelings about her actions. She responded with the thumbs up emoji. I then sent her an email asking to talk with her.

[Krystal]

Childish bitch.

[Kefiri]

Okay. And she never responded. My mother has told my entire family that I called DHS on her and my grandmother and aunt told me I should be ashamed of myself. They both took her aside and said that my sisters and I are just mad because my mom has a boyfriend now and she's happy. In reality, she's not happy. She complained.

[Krystal]

Imagine being mad that your mother has a man. And she.

[Kefiri]

I was told that we are spoiled and we act too privileged because our mother gave us every materialistic thing that we needed and she does things for my son as well, now I have everybody blocked. My mother, aunt, grandmother, and my mother's boyfriend.

[Krystal]

Good.

[Kefiri]

I keep in contact with my sisters because I pay my 17 year old sister's phone bill since she's now on my plan. Our mother told them that they are not allowed in my house anymore while she's under investigation, so they won't see me or their nephew.

[Krystal]

You, girl, that is not up to you.

[Kefiri]

I spoke to my therapist.

[Krystal]

You're going in the pokey.

[Kefiri]

You are big like. I spoke to my therapist about it and she told me not to beat myself up and that I did nothing wrong. Part of me wishes I never said anything, but I've always stood up for and advocated for my siblings. Was I wrong? I feel very depressed sometimes. All I have now is my son and my sisters. It's strange because I've always felt alone, even when my family was talking to me. So you would think that I wouldn't be bothered by this, but I really am. And I'm sad. What do I do? I would really appreciate your advice. Thanks, Carla.

[Krystal]

Karla, did you just say that you. You've always felt alone, even when your family was talking to you?

[Kefiri]

Big sign. Emotional, immature.

[Krystal]

Let me explain something to you. Don't you dare. And I'm glad that you are already in therapy so you can expand upon this all you would like. There are also many other forms of therapy outside of talk that can help with this type of thing. But I want you to know from me, the crazy.

[Kefiri]

Don't do that.

[Krystal]

Don't you hold on to no guilt. Don't hold on to any form of shame. Regret. You did exactly Amen. What you were supposed to do. Furthermore, you didn't call nobody's DHS on your mama a health official.

[Kefiri]

Correct.

[Krystal]

Called DHS on your goddamn mama a.

[Kefiri]

Licensed professional who had, as she was supposed, legal obligation to do. Yes, she wants y' all to do.

[Krystal]

And that is why therapists often warn you.

[Kefiri]

Yes, they do.

[Krystal]

If you tell me that a crime is being committed.

[Kefiri]

Correct.

[Krystal]

I'm gonna tell.

[Kefiri]

Correct. Cause I have to.

[Krystal]

That's my job.

[Kefiri]

I have to. I can lose my license and be prosecuted if I do not. It's not optional.

[Krystal]

Whatever happens to that lady is exactly what the black fuck should happen to her. How goddamn dare you. You bring anybody. Who the fuck. See, it's something. Like it. Like. Okay. Dick is fantastic. Yeah, Dick's great.

[Kefiri]

I'm guessing it's been a while.

[Krystal]

There will never be one life change or a nigga attached to it. So life changing.

[Kefiri]

Mm, mm. Say it.

[Krystal]

They should be permitted into your home with your children. 17:10. Making them uncomfortable so much that they don't want to come out of their room.

[Kefiri]

Thank you. Cause what the fuck is that? What is a grown man saying to a 10 year old and 17 year old that make them not want to be in the house? Hello.

[Krystal]

And then within that rift, you choose him and punch your child. Sweetheart. Who wrote. What is this person's name?

[Kefiri]

Carla.

[Krystal]

I forgot. Carla, I want you to know that I'm saying this with love and I want you to know that I understand. It seems you truly love and treasure your mother as many people do, even when they have terrible mothers. It's like a science. But I'm going to say that your mother is an absolute backwards, dizzy, gutter bird ass bitch. And she does not deserve to be around you, your sisters or anybody with good sense outside of a warden and several cos. I hate her. I hate her, I hate her. I've received whoopings obviously as an almost 40 year old black Jamaican American, whatever, definitely got hit. And I'm not beefing with my parents about that specifically. We've had discussions, but I got a whooping because, you know, bad grade and tried to lie, didn't have my report card or snuck and played the video games when I was on punishment or other things. You. You brought Canaan into this house.

[Kefiri]

And.

[Krystal]

You picked him and you're beating on me for having. Are you?

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

I'm glad because before we got to the portion of the letter where you talked about bringing this up in therapy and mentioning it into your therapy, as soon as you did, I was like.

[Kefiri]

Oh yeah, thank God, right?

[Krystal]

Thank God. Because I knew they were gonna. But before you got to that, I was just like, how do we get this person in at least in court?

[Kefiri]

And what's crazy, punching your kids, you know it. Punching your 17 year old for saying, hey, I'm not always going to be around. This 10 year old needs to learn how to do stuff and she does have a mom which happens to be you. If you'd like to clock in and get on your fucking job while you taking care of this felon, uh, she ain't been to the dentist in a year and a half. Neither one of us have seen a doctor. Like, you might wanna do your job. You fought your kid over that.

[Krystal]

Okay, see a lot of y' all be, A lot of y' all become enraged and you be go, you, you go crazy when you have to look in the face of your child and your child is Directly telling you to get your shit together. You know they're right, and you know they're right. You cannot humble yourself enough. You cannot come out of your own trauma or your own fuck shit enough to acknowledge the fact that they are right. So you get so upset that your offspring has enough sense to tell you, do better, that rather than doing better, you decide to destroy. Fuck you. You're already in therapy, Carla. I think your therapist will likely say something similar to what I'm saying, except without all of the hate, vitriol, cuss words, and, you know, threats against your mother's, you know, good fortune. But you will heal from this. You said you blocked everybody. You talked to your sisters. That's it. That's your family. They need you. Yeah, and they need you because their mama.

[Kefiri]

Child, let that be soul food or something. Right? You bitches who want a man so fucking bad that you'll pick up a felon fresh out of fucking prison and let him make your minor daughters feel uncomfortable and choose that man over your fucking kids, raggedy type hoes. You feel.

[Krystal]

You think you ain't precious, child.

[Kefiri]

Karla. So I agree with everything Kefir said. I'll just add that it makes sense that you're sad. It makes sense that you're depressed sometimes, even though you always felt alone with your family. The veneer is gone, the fakeness is gone. The let's just move past it and pretend everything is good. That's gone. They've crossed the line where you can't do that pretend fake shit no more. And so the reality of having these shitty, immature people be your family is hitting you full force. That's hard. Most people don't ever really face the reality of their parents shortcomings because it hurts. Most people don't ever really hold those people accountable for what they do because it's deeply disappointed, deeply painful. So.

[Krystal]

And when you become adults, it's easier for a lot of us.

[Kefiri]

Somewhat.

[Krystal]

A lot of us, we can get, you know, further away. When you get away, we only deal with them.

[Kefiri]

Right? But it's hard to just be like, fuck me.

[Krystal]

But it's never directly.

[Kefiri]

Yes, right, exactly. And it's much harder to be like, oh, well, I'm finally away from my mama. Fuck her. When you still got two younger siblings at home who you care deeply about and you don't want some creepy felon saying or doing things around like, what is he saying? Child, any woman who hears that your man is saying things that make me feel uncomfortable. I'm 10 years old. I'm 17 years old and they are like. And they decided to fight you instead of fighting that nigga, calling the law and putting his ass back in prison. It's something wrong with that bitch.

[Krystal]

When I tell you if my kid said some shit like that to me when I bought in the house, he would wake up on the couch to a full pistol. Like, I'm talking about anti hp.

[Kefiri]

I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine.

[Krystal]

And the first thing out of my mouth is, bitch, you better not say nothing I don't like. I have a few questions.

[Kefiri]

I'm gonna have to call the police and tell them, you need to get to my house before I do. I swear to God, y' all need to get to my house before I do. Because if I get to my house and it's just me and that nigga, only one of us is staying alive for the rest of the day, so. So, because nobody comes above my children.

[Krystal]

You fighting me.

[Kefiri]

And she didn't fight me.

[Krystal]

You fighting me. Cause you putting Hungry man dinners in the fucking the microwave for this stupid slack jawed, dumbass bitch. Meanwhile, me and my sister ain't seen a dentist or a pediatrician or nothing in a year. How are you? Dizzy.

[Kefiri]

But you taking off work to go take care of that nigga? Is your mama Kiki Wyatt?

[Krystal]

I don't understand what's wrong with some.

[Kefiri]

Of y' all in.

[Krystal]

Is it taxes? Is it R offs? Or are you just like, oh, yeah, dependent.

[Kefiri]

Just whatever. I just have a kid. Whatever.

[Krystal]

Depending on who, I don't have to. Not you.

[Kefiri]

I don't have to prioritize that child. I can just do whatever. Oh, well, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Unfortunately, a lot of people have shit parents. And your mother. This is just garbage. God only knows what that man might do to your sisters when your mama is not there.

[Krystal]

I don't even want to think about that. I will agree that.

[Kefiri]

Thank God. Thank God. The therapist. Thank you. I'm so glad you caught your therapist.

[Krystal]

I'm so laid. Because I knew the therapist would tell.

[Kefiri]

The therapist said, well, you might be afflicted. I am not. I am calling the law.

[Krystal]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kefiri]

And your sisters might end up with you.

[Krystal]

I'm so sorry. I have to call it.

[Kefiri]

I got you.

[Krystal]

That is what it's given. I got her, bitch.

[Kefiri]

I got her.

[Krystal]

Crystal is right that it is completely okay and fair for you to feel the particular feelings that you're feeling.

[Kefiri]

A mess.

[Krystal]

But you can also, in therapy, expand and process those feelings. To make peace with them. Because in terms of the actions that took place here, nothing wrong happened outside of the shit that your mama and her boyfriend were pulling. And people on WhatsApp or whatever trying to, you know, Gaslight.

[Kefiri]

And then your grandma. And ain't he being like, y' all just spoiled. Y' all happy. Y' all just mad Your mama happy and she got a man. What kind of bird brain bitches say shit like that to kids? You don't think I want my mama to be. I would love for my mama to have a boyfriend who isn't a fucking felon saying creepy things to me and my sisters. I would love for my mama to be happy, but not at our expense. Not. Not to neglect her children in the pursuit of this nigga. Do he even have a job?

[Krystal]

Grandma bitch. We gonna do.

[Kefiri]

Grandma Bitch.

[Krystal]

Grandma bitch. The only thing spoiled about my little sister are her molars, bitch. Because nobody has taken her to get them cavities looked at.

[Kefiri]

Bye. That's real.

[Krystal]

Fuck y'.

[Kefiri]

All. Best of luck. And I mean that in all sincerity to you and your sister.

[Krystal]

I think I'm gonna call this episode Grandma Bitch.

[Kefiri]

Can we put bitch in the title?

[Krystal]

I don't think so.

[Kefiri]

I don't think so. But yeah. So I just can't say it enough. I am so glad you told your therapist.

[Krystal]

Me too.

[Kefiri]

Jesus. Y' all got DHS involved. DHS need to be involved. There's a 10 year old girl here, a 17 year old girl. The 17 year old legally might be able to just leave. She might could just go. And they like, oh, well, you know, you almost 18. But that 10 year old, extremely vulnerable. So yeah, DHS need to get involved. DHS needs to get involved. Take care of your fucking kids. And that includes protecting them from predators. When I tell you a nigga have zero chances to make my child feel uncomfortable, I mean, zero. Zero. A nigga on dialysis, bitch. Bitch, watch how you talk to me before I knock the shit out of your other kidney. And then you ain't.

[Krystal]

You can't do shit when I tell.

[Kefiri]

You, ain't no way in hell I'm.

[Krystal]

Coming in there with a wooden block and a mallet. Baby, you can't even pay misery in this bitch.

[Kefiri]

You can't even fuck with Lainey. You think I'm gonna let you fuck with my child?

[Krystal]

Hella.

[Kefiri]

Oh, ain't no way. Ain't no way. But see, I'm not a bird. I prioritize my responsibilities. I chose to have that dog. I chose to have these kids Someone.

[Krystal]

Actually, I'll tell you later.

[Kefiri]

All right?

[Krystal]

Someone that we know. Oh, Lord tried link.

[Kefiri]

Oh, God. I don't wanna know.

[Krystal]

And I kicked that motherfucker out my house.

[Kefiri]

Well, good for you. Cause one thing about it, you not finna hurt my baby. You are not finna hurt my child. And it's no excuses for it.

[Krystal]

I don't give a fuck who you are. Well, but this happened once. And I told him to get out.

[Kefiri]

Get the fuck out my house. And you'll be lucky if I ever speak to you again. And that's behind my dog, behind my child. I'll go to prison. Good luck. Good luck. I hope you and your sisters are able to stick together because y' all are gonna need each other to get past the bullshit that your upbringing has given you. You never deserved it.

[Krystal]

I hope they don't try to like divide them.

[Kefiri]

Oh, please. You know they are. Especially that little one. Cause again, the 17 year old Mike can come with you if you live somewhere else. Like that might be one thing, but that 10 year old, they absolutely all right.

[Krystal]

And a 17 year old can see it.

[Kefiri]

You punched your child. You punched your child.

[Krystal]

You're dead ass. Because you were wrong.

[Kefiri]

All right. Yeah. Take this to jail.

[Krystal]

I hate her.

[Kefiri]

Everybody in the house want a felony. Apparently y' all just he a felon and she aspiring felon. Because who the does that? Raggedy ass bitch. Good luck, baby. If there's an update, keep us, keep us, keep us updated. And that'll wrap up the questions this week. If you have a question for us, send it to asktheread gmail.com. we'll be right back.

[Krystal]

We're back. It is now time for the read. Oh, Miami, thank you. Thank you for reminding the people again, people who haven't grown up there, the people who weren't born there, didn't grow up there. Who know better exactly what kind of red blooded monsters you can be. So the city of Miami is attempting to push its November elections back to 2026 and allow their city officials to remain in office next year. Because, fine, this was way back in, like July, I think that they made this ruling. The city council or a city council in Miami voted 3, 2. The mayor signed off on this and it was like, yeah, all set up for the November elections in Miami to be canceled. For them to hold them in 2026 instead. Okay, not just yet.

[Kefiri]

Okay.

[Krystal]

Okay. A judge by the name. Let me find you. Miami Dade County Circuit Judge Valerie Armano Scher ruled in favor of a mayoral candidate, Emilio Gonzalez Saying that the city did not have the authority to shift elections without voter approval. Which is just the truth, right? Emilio Gonzalez filed a lawsuit on June 30 challenging the decision, calling it unconstitutional. Blatant power grab. It went through anyway. Since then, even DeSantis has said that the attempt to postpone the elections are, quote, wrong, and he hopes to see a, quote, swift legal response. So who's the one who stopped it?

[Kefiri]

What is going on this country, man? When you said Miami, I thought you meant young Miami. I thought you was gonna cuss out caresha.

[Krystal]

Wait, what did she do?

[Kefiri]

That letter she wrote for Diddy.

[Krystal]

Oh, I heard about that, but I didn't read it.

[Kefiri]

Oh, baby.

[Krystal]

I was a little surprised.

[Kefiri]

It starts with Dear, you, Honor, I said, okay. Oh, God.

[Krystal]

I needed that. Okay, here she go. Florida Attorney General James Youthmeyer. I'm sorry. Who had issued a legal opinion on June 11th supporting Emilio's argument. So they kind of, like, voted to put a stop to it. And he said, thrilled that the court agreed with our legal opinion on the city of Miami's unconstitutional attempt and moving back election without voter approval. I just. This is crazy. This happened in July because I just saw someone. My homegirl sent a TikTok about this to me, like, last week, and it was the first time I heard of it. Yeah. It said, judge Valerie Scher. The court declares that the city of Miami cannot change the dates of municipal elections or the terms of offices for the city's elected officials without amending the City of Miami municipal charter, which requires approval by the electorate, essentially. Girl, you Miami citizens should have a say in that. They can't just be like, psych, we're not voting next month because we don't want it. No odd years. No, no, no. That's silly. Let's do even. K will be in office and in charge another year because look at math. Bye. No, that's not how this works. And this is exactly why people tell you to remember and keep up with your state officials, your city officials, your local people, and to vote in these elections specifically, because not only do they immediately affect you, the girlies will try and pull games like this right over and above your Goddamn. There are. So it's just like everyone from the ruda to the tuda, as some Negroes.

[Kefiri]

Say.

[Krystal]

Is like, what constitution? Wait, we have rules?

[Kefiri]

Do we have that?

[Krystal]

We have guidelines. I don't know what you're talking about. I just know. Yacht and caviar. This is so stupid. But it's also delicious because y' all bitches like, first of all, two things. One, every time y' all see that fucking clip from that goddamn TV show we made where I said, miami Dade county is not in Florida or whatever, and y' all get tight like, I don't know, basic geography or whatever, and it wasn't an obvious fucking joke. Fuck y' all bitches. That's one, too. Y' all hoes seem to be the ones who be forgetting that Miami's in Florida, too. Because you think of Miami and you think about how you had that pregnancy, how fucked up you got on 8th and Ocean and just riding four wheelers down the beach and staying partying at Liv and seeing Dwyane Wade, you don't think about Trayvon Martin.

[Kefiri]

Well.

[Krystal]

That'S. That's Miami I grew up in. In fact, 24 and a half years that I lived in that city, I almost never went to the damn beach, especially when y' all were there. So just quick reminder, you guys, those of you outside of Miami, it's in Florida. And I did know that.

[Kefiri]

Just gotta clear that up.

[Krystal]

Here you are. Here you go. Just for clarification, and those of you who are there, vote. Hopefully this year. Do a quick Google ask your chat jit. Who is.

[Kefiri]

Don't ask that thing.

[Krystal]

The. Don't do it.

[Kefiri]

Don't do that.

[Krystal]

Just ask. Ask Google's. You know, you can just type it in Google.

[Kefiri]

I'm begging Nikki to leave the AI alone, too. Girl, that garbage that you using in these arguments, please. You're burning up the planet for that trip.

[Krystal]

Do you think she's really doing it, or do you. I just assume, like, she sees fans post it and then she posts it too. Do you think she's going into the thing and putting, like. Put Barney Cardi as Cardi B. I.

[Kefiri]

Mean, I. I would be so sad.

[Krystal]

I would be so sad.

[Kefiri]

I mean, I never even considered that the barbs are doing it first, but maybe they are.

[Krystal]

Of course.

[Kefiri]

But regardless, girl, what are you.

[Krystal]

I feel like she probably sees stupid shit like that in her mention, and.

[Kefiri]

She just saves it.

[Krystal]

And she just. Yeah. Saves the ones she thinks are funny.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

If she's making those herself, I am gonna jump out this.

[Kefiri]

I think. I think.

[Krystal]

Because I can't.

[Kefiri]

I think confused. I think she's like, make Jay Z look like a camel, but then also put a pink wig on it.

[Krystal]

I didn't understand. I didn't get that one.

[Kefiri]

I never understand what she's doing. None of it makes sense.

[Krystal]

The one where Desiree's, like, riding him.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

As A camel.

[Kefiri]

What? I don't.

[Krystal]

I was like, this one. I could maybe I could please go to court, think about it, and come up with a meaningful.

[Kefiri]

Go to court. Why is that?

[Krystal]

That's my only confusion.

[Kefiri]

Why is it on?

[Krystal]

That's my only confusion. And it's like now it seems as though this new release is sort of being positioned as yet. I'm coming for y' all in March, right? Is that. Is March 27th, the court date? Are you dropping it the same day as the. Because, like.

[Kefiri]

Right.

[Krystal]

I'm so confused. But then it's also like a hex upon your land because the one true blood God says the queen.

[Kefiri]

I'm like, blood God.

[Krystal]

I just want to hear music.

[Kefiri]

Oh, man. I just wanna hear music real bad.

[Krystal]

Just wanna hear music. Anyway, Miami, thank you for showing your colors again. I also felt like reaching across in solidarity to Crystal, who is forever dragging Oklahoma.

[Kefiri]

And you know we up. You know we up. We up.

[Krystal]

Next time, just reminding you bitches that I too. I too.

[Kefiri]

It won't be long.

[Krystal]

Have struggles with my state.

[Kefiri]

It won't be long. Oklahoma. Love to embarrass me. That's Superintendent Ryan Walters that I talked about last week. Resigned the very next day work. Yes. He is going to be CEO of the Teacher. Are you done?

[Krystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Kefiri]

Okay. He's going to be CEO of the Teacher Freedom alliance, which God only knows what kind of. Is that probably something to remove the rights of educators and to have parents have more control over what their kids are taught and all this other bullshit. Yeah. So.

[Krystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Kefiri]

In his resignation letter, he was like, we. We got rid of DI and CRT and woke indoctrination and affirmed religious liberty and American exceptionalism, which.

[Krystal]

Okay, so woke indoctrination makes me want to cut.

[Kefiri]

We focused on literacy.

[Krystal]

How?

[Kefiri]

You didn't see the. You didn't see the numbers. Our kids. 25% of our kids can read at or less can read at a 12th grade level.

[Krystal]

Whoa.

[Kefiri]

You did not child so. But I said you would resign the day after I cussed your bitch ass out. You would. And you know who else dropped out with they bitch ass? Eric Adams. Oh, Milk dud looking ass hoe ass nigga. He took another good look at them numbers.

[Krystal]

What was he even doing?

[Kefiri]

What were you even doing? You were a horrible mayor. Nobody wanted you back. When the rumor started spreading a few weeks ago that he was going to take a job, maybe even working in the Trump administration or something, and was going to drop out of the race, he was like, I'm not going nowhere. I don't care that mom Donnie beat everybody ass in the Mary. Now your bitch ass is gone. Correct. Nobody wanted no one. You.

[Krystal]

Not one person.

[Kefiri]

Despite all we've achieved, I cannot continue my reelection campaign because we don't want you.

[Krystal]

Because we don't want you.

[Kefiri]

Talk about major, major changes. Welcome and necessary. But you didn't do any major change. If anything, you shit all over the city and made it worse.

[Krystal]

He must have made major changes in you not being mayor and us changing someone different.

[Kefiri]

Of course he didn't endorse nobody else. But if he did, it would probably be Cuomo. But whatever, bitch.

[Krystal]

Probably.

[Kefiri]

Goodbye, bitch. The only thing you can do now to make me support you is resign. Why don't you just leave early so we can get somebody else in there who's a little bit less disgusting and reprehensible?

[Krystal]

That's never gonna happen.

[Kefiri]

What a little bitch bastard. And I when I tell you I.

[Krystal]

Got been giving the girl who should have went home from the club like three hours ago.

[Kefiri]

You know what? It's the old nigga at the college parties. Like, you graduated four years ago, but you still on campus hollering at girls.

[Krystal]

60.

[Kefiri]

But you still going to going to parties at the union and shit. What are you doing, old nigga? You're 33. Go do something. Go start a family. Go get a job. This is ridiculous.

[Krystal]

And when you were here, they hated you.

[Kefiri]

Like, you can't be that girl still hanging out on campus six years after you graduated. Just don't be that bitch. Please don't be that bitch. Speaking of being that bitch. I. I'm gonna. I'm going to pass my read a little bit to Cardi B, who just posted this about Nicki Minaj.

[Krystal]

You are fucking. Are you kidding? What is going on?

[Kefiri]

I have Dear Onika, Tonya, Mirage.

[Krystal]

Wait, let me pull it up.

[Kefiri]

This is my last.

[Krystal]

This is on.

[Kefiri]

This is on. Yep. This is my last time responding to you because this is past Twitter now. I gotta see you. But first I'm gonna tell you the truth. You said out your own mouth that the little girl and you haven't forgave your mother yet. And that's because your mom used to stay silent when your dad used to touch on you every time he did that crack pipe. I know you experienced a lot of trauma and abuse, but drugs is not gonna help you. You need to go to therapy now. Now, bitch, that's the pot calling the kettle black. But okay.

[Krystal]

And I mean, Onyx, I'm gonna let you Know this.

[Kefiri]

Today, your husband is not stopping you from your actions because he lets you do drugs all day to numb you so he can max out your credit card. Yeah, you think I don't know them Queens niggas that you be letting in your house every time you kick them out? Be coming and spilling your tea in the hood, but I'm gonna be the realest person to ever tell you, you need to get help. You need to heal that trauma. You always coming at people, every time you see them happy because you got so much trauma and pain that you want to put on others. Your fans are gonna gas you up while you literally lose your goddamn mind.

[Krystal]

My mouth is open.

[Kefiri]

Clocked it. You don't have no friends, no family, just that man in your house that let you do drugs till you pass out so he can spend your money and buy the hood chains. I'm not throwing away my career and my endorsements going back and forth with words with a possessed drug addict. I'll see you when I see you. Now, Cardi, that was indeed a read.

[Krystal]

Yeah, it classifies.

[Kefiri]

Oh, Neeka's not the only one who needs to go to therapy. We've said that a trillion times on this very episode. But you didn't lie in the rest of this, girl. I don't know.

[Krystal]

And I hope y' all never see each other because you are done fighting.

[Kefiri]

I mean, to be fair, the times that we have known of Nicki and Cardi to be in the same space is Cardi keeping that same energy and being like, bitch, I'll beat your ass. I don't care if we at the Met gala or whatever else. I'll beat your fucking ass. I think.

[Krystal]

No, that's what I'm saying. I hope they never see each other, because, ma', am, it's not gonna be good.

[Kefiri]

It's not gonna be good.

[Krystal]

It's go on tour.

[Kefiri]

I hope you mean it about this being your last time responding to her, because this is truly ridiculous. Has gone way, way too far. Let that lady and she. Nikki is over there still tweeting child, talking about Jay Z and how he blocked her from being on some song. And I don't know. I. The drugs are drugging. The mental illness is illnessing. Please with the AI. Oh, Nikki said, touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm.

[Krystal]

I'm done. All right, so that's been the read, because we're not doing this.

[Kefiri]

Funny thing is, do you know who else is a prophet? Papa Bear. An even better prophet than Mama.

[Krystal]

That might Be true.

[Kefiri]

Let me read it in full touch. Not my anointed and do my prophets no harm. The problem is they didn't know I was a prophet because they look at the outside and God knows the heart. So everything they did to me was a direct violation of the kingdom of God. Now they have to reap it with interest. Funny thing is, do you want to know who else is a prophet? Papa Bear, an even better prophet than Mama. He been saying amen and Jesus for a long time. His purity is what did them in. There are things I won't say that they tried. One lift of his little hand, rebuked it and sent back to cinder. He protected his father. They are now in the first phase of grief denial. They know they're done. They just don't want to be. Have your way now, Holy Spirit. This sounds like psychosis.

[Krystal]

That was so. The end of that was so, like a little off putting.

[Kefiri]

But there's something wrong with that girl. Somebody needed to get her for real.

[Krystal]

God, this makes me so sad. Oh, God, she's so straight, bro.

[Kefiri]

And don't act like it at all. Now while all of this dumb monkey shit is going on, Trump is literally burning the country to the fucking cross.

[Krystal]

Oh, my God.

[Kefiri]

I mean it. Shut down Ted Cruz in Congress talking about, let's stop attacking pedophiles. Ugh. What do you mean, let's stop attacking pedophiles? What? What? Let's stop attacking. Are you sure that's what you meant to say? You know what?

[Krystal]

I don't understand if there's another Earth or another species out there somewhere listening, and you can hear this, please come get me. I don't even care if it's a widespread invasion or if you just want to abduct me, bitch, but I would like to leave. I'd like to leave. I can't do this anymore. This is ridiculous. Like, I. What? Oh, these children. I just. Really?

[Kefiri]

Thousands of federal workers losing their jobs at a time when the economy is already trash facing unpaid leave. This nigga.

[Krystal]

Nikki, I'm.

[Kefiri]

I'm really trying to understand why Ted Cruz would say, let's stop attacking pedophiles. And even if it was a slip of the tongue, why wouldn't you immediately clear that up? Let's stop attacking pedophiles. Are you. Are you trying to protect the president? Is that the number one pedophile you trying to. To make sure don't nobody come after. Are you in the Epstein files? Release the Epstein files, All this other shit distractions y' all are Literally trying to distract us from what really matters. Got ICE going to arrest Ian Roberts, who is the superintendent of either Des Moines schools or Iowa schools, whatever it was. They had ICE go arrest that man. He just resigned. There are real fucking problems that this administration is the direct cause of.

[Krystal]

Trump just sent a bunch of troops out to Portland, Oregon.

[Kefiri]

You invading Portland?

[Krystal]

Anarchy.

[Kefiri]

And I texted Fran, I'm like, girl, I'm just thinking about you while these niggas are doing the fucking most. Like what? Y' all coming after these people who fucking make kombucha on every corner and. And sell tennis shoes and go hiking Portland, wreaking havoc across the country, destroying this shit in front of our very fucking eyes and the people who are supposed to be doing something about it, just sitting back. Oh, well, let's just. I don't know, let's see, let's twiddle our fingers. Let's get that bitch out of office and put people competent before we no longer have a fucking country. What about the airports? What about tsa? I know the post office is still going to be running, but how long is this supposed to be going on? Cutting funding to everything that people actually need, Health care and food and social services, shit like that, so that billionaires can have a few extra billion in their pockets? Really, bitch Pete, Texas drunk ass talking about, oh, anybody who tries the American military, you're gonna F A F O. And we'll. We'll explain what that means if you really want us to. And we don't need no more fat generals. Does that include the fat ass fucking commander in chief we have in office right fucking now? You letting that drunk bitch be in charge of shit. It's insane what is going on in this fucking country. I just cannot believe that not only did y' all reelect this bitch or let that bitch steal the election, but now you. You see what is happening every fucking day and you're just like, oh, well, he talking about we going after New York next. We going after the Miami. We going after blah blah and Atlanta and whoever the fuck else just causing. Just being tyrannical because you can doing anything to avoid consequences for the fucked up, deranged, sick, twisted, illegal things you've been doing. Release the fucking Epstein files, you dirty bitch.

[Krystal]

Oh, while I'm here, just really quick, I wanna take a second to remind Joanne Rowling that she is 60 years old and Emma Watson is 35. You decided to get on the Internet and bully this lady because she still has love for you even though you're an ignorant Ass bitch. I don't understand why ignorant ass bitch was my part. She actually was being very sweet. This dumbass letter that you. You wrote, were you basically positioning yourself as if to say, well, like, oh, I'm not cool, or your friends don't align themselves with groups that wish for their friend to be assassinated or something? Something. Something like that, lady, you have increased security because you're wealthy, incredibly wealthy, and you at the same time, perpetuate a hatred that is often the cause of transgender people's death rates and it being as high as it is. So I don't have that much sympathy for you. A, you spew hate out in the world every chance you get. B, you are physically protected from threats against your life. And past that, when you say, oh, well, you know, it's not that hard to not answer a question about someone and da, da, da, why you don't want to talk about it. Da, da, da. You put these people in the position to talk about this. You did. You did that. You did that. Even people who have not played your characters yet are being asked about your transphobic ass. You. You did that. Because every chance you get, you open your mouth about how much you hate trans women. Every chance you get, you open your mouth about how trans people aren't people. You have created a situation where anything involving Harry Potter has to have an asterisk next to it. You did it.

[Kefiri]

Oh, my God.

[Krystal]

And don't act all high and mighty like you don't troll these people. Somebody asked you this year on Twitter, what actor or actress instantly ruins the movie for you? And you responded three guesses. That tweet is still up. You're 60 years old, trolling kids. Fuck you. Don't nobody feel bad for you. You're still making money off these kids. Suck my dick.

[Kefiri]

Oh, my God.

[Krystal]

Mark. Ass, British ass bitch. Nobody give a fuck about what you talking about, ho or whatever threat's coming your way.

[Kefiri]

Just now.

[Krystal]

You have security, and you can hire more of them because you're one of the richest bitches alive. Fuck you. You bullying this bitch for her? Because she did an interview where they asked her again. She wasn't like, oh, by the way, can we talk about Joanne? Everybody has to talk about you all the time because you're a miserable bitch. And then you're still making money off of this property. And the media is obsessed with this conversation. It's not her fault. They talk about it all the time. And I don't give a fuck if we friends or we're not. If humanity is at the center of the conversation, and you are on the opposite side of humanity. I'mma open my mouth and say I disagree with you.

[Kefiri]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Dumbass bitch.

[Kefiri]

I literally just got a text message from a friend who works for the federal government and was just furloughed because of Donald Trump and the Republicans and this absolutely insane bullshit that they are pulling. Okay, you know what? All right, all right. Yeah. Fuck Trump, JD Vance, fuck every last one of y' all who voted for this bitch. I just. I'm. I'm. I'm. Right now, I'm. I'm really at a loss for words. I'm finna lose my mind, though, so let's just go ahead and wrap this up. You. Are you done? Okay, yeah, let's just go ahead and wrap this up before I say something that's gonna have them people knocking on my door. So that wraps up this week's episode of the Read. Follow us on social media at this is the Read. I'm very excited to announce that I am launching a new show called Crystal's Couch. Very soon, I am going to be giving advice to those of you who want it. If you are interested, you can email me advicerystlescouch.com. but, yeah, I'm very, very excited. Thank you so much to everybody who's already sent in an email, who have sent your congratulations and et cetera. It's just a shame that it had to come on the heels of that Cardi thing, because y' all know I don't believe in stunts and shows to promote stuff, but I couldn't have predicted y' all was gonna react that stupidly to what I said about that girl. So that was outside of my control. But, yeah, Crystal's Couch. Coming. Coming soon. I'll let you know. All right, thank you. I'm losing my mind, right? I cannot believe my friend just got furloughed behind this dumb nigga. Like, I'm finna lo. Any. Anything else from you before we.

[Krystal]

This just happened.

[Kefiri]

She literally just texted me two minutes ago. I'm finna almost. Almost set a slide. I gotta go. I gotta go.

[Krystal]

We should get you out there. All right.

[Kefiri]

Take care, etcetera.

[Krystal]

Have a great week.

[Kefiri]

Yeah. Hey, y'. All, we all know that some things are not built to last, and that includes sh. Shoes. Let me tell y' all about the time that I was protesting in Manhattan and the heel of my sandals just completely came off. Girl, let me tell you how disgusting it was trying to maneuver my way around the city with one and a half shoes. Absolutely disgusting. But some things actually are built to last. That's the promise of L.L. bean crafting boots. Built to last over a century. Bean boots carry that tradition forward. We know they're handcrafted in Maine since 1912 with full grain leather, durable rubber bottoms and triple needle stitching. They're built for the outdoors and they handle all the elements child rain, mud, snow with ease. With over a century of timeless design, they don't chase trends. Each pair becomes more personal, more distinctive and uniquely yours. LL beans are simply best worn. Find your [e-mail] I see a great.

[Krystal]

Change for you in the next five years.

[Kefiri]

You sure? Cause I just got a five year price guarantee for talk, text and data in Metro. Only $25 guaranteed. Is that even possible? Metro did it.

[Krystal]

The stars must be aligning.

[Kefiri]

They are. That's why one line with all the 5G data is only $25 with autopay.

[Krystal]

Well, I see a great change in.

[Kefiri]

My future only at Metro. It's $30 your first month or without autopay. And you need to activate online price guarantee exclusions.

[Krystal]

Apply C Site for details.