LA Hitness

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Read – Episode "LA Hitness"

Release Date: January 23, 2025

Hosts: Kid Fury and Crissle
Network: Loud Speakers Network
Platforms: iTunes, iHeart Radio Talk, Soundcloud, Stitcher

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1. Introduction

The episode kicks off with playful banter between Kid Fury and Crissle, setting the tone for a week filled with humor, sharp insights, and candid discussions about the latest happenings in hip-hop and pop culture.

---

2. Black Excellence

Celebrating Achievements in Sports
The hosts spotlight Marcus Freeman, the head coach of Notre Dame, celebrating his historic achievement as the first Black head coach to reach the college football finals.

• Risque: “He’s become the first black head coach to reach the college football finals. … It’s about us. We’re going to celebrate what we’ve done because it’s so special.” [03:26]

• Crystal: “I would have loved to talk sports with you, but … when that white lady asked him how it felt …” [04:08]

Freeman’s approach emphasizes teamwork and the collective effort of the players, downplaying his individual role while highlighting the broader significance of his achievement.

---

3. Movie Spotlight: "One of Them Days"

Highlighting "One of Them Days"
Crissle and Risque discuss the success of the movie "One of Them Days," praising its humor and impact.

• Risque: “So proud of you, Sarita. … rap Shit Family Issa … gathered up money for Fire Relief … making people laugh because Lord knows we could use it.” [05:27]

• Crystal: “I had a blast. … like, I’m not going to … but go. If you need to laugh and have some black fun, go see this movie.” [06:11]

The hosts commend the cast and crew, noting the film’s ability to provide much-needed laughter and support charitable causes.

---

4. TV Shows: "Abbott Elementary"

Praise for "Abbott Elementary"
Crissle and Risque delve into their admiration for the TV show "Abbott Elementary," particularly lauding its handling of recent challenges like the strike.

• Risque: “It just… hasn’t really misstepped …” [07:57]

• Crystal: “It's still good, even with the strike. … The way they came back after the strikes… very good.” [08:10]

They express excitement for future seasons and the potential for additional content, highlighting the show’s resilience and quality.

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5. Hot Topics

a. TikTok Ban Attempts and Revival

Government Intervention in Social Media
The conversation shifts to recent political moves to ban TikTok in the U.S. and its rapid reinstatement following intervention by former President Trump.

• Crystal: “She has been all over my for you page on TikTok … obsessed.” [02:32]

• Risque: “TikTok was shut down, and … thank you, Trump, for bringing back TikTok once he takes office.” [13:26]

The hosts critique the government's inconsistent stance and the impact on users, sharing personal frustrations about the temporary shutdown.

b. Busta Rhymes LA Fitness Incident

Celebrity Altercation at Gym
They discuss the incident involving rapper Busta Rhymes, who assaulted his assistant at an LA Fitness location, leading to legal consequences.

• Risque: “Busta Rhymes turned himself in to the police … misdemeanor assault, attempted assault and harassment.” [23:53]

• Crystal: “So for being on his phone, you think he was on TikTok?” [24:25]

The hosts debate the validity of Busta Rhymes' actions, questioning whether his assistant had a legitimate reason to be on the phone and condemning the physical assault.

c. AI-Generated MLK Image Controversy

Disrespectful AI Imagery
Sexyy Red posted an AI-generated image depicting her with Martin Luther King Jr., sparking backlash from Dr. Bernice King, MLK’s daughter.

• Risque: “It's her looking like that with Martin Luther King … disrespectful to my family.” [45:00]

• Crystal: “You thought it was innocent, you stupid bitch … disrespected her for being righteously upset.” [48:51]

The conversation highlights the importance of respecting historical figures and the sensitive nature of using AI in creating such images, condemning the disrespect shown by Sexyy Red.

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6. Listener Letters: Relationship Advice

Navigating Complex Friendships and Relationships
A letter from Annie, a straight woman in her early 20s, seeks advice on rekindling a friendship with a former romantic partner amidst new allegations of abuse.

• Annie’s Dilemma:

  • Ends a complicated friendship with Sarah, who was accused of being abusive and scamming queer artists.
  • Expresses longing to re-establish the friendship despite past issues.
  • Struggles with grief from losing family during COVID-19.

• Risque and Crystal’s Response:

  • Risque: Advises Annie to prioritize her healing and consider that Sarah may still carry the same harmful behaviors despite therapy.

  • Crystal: Emphasizes the importance of not ignoring past manipulative behavior and suggests focusing on personal healing rather than risking returning to an unsafe friendship.

  • Risque: “Just refocus on unpacking the last bit of your letter and how you feel about that and the healthiest ways to heal.” [54:02]

  • Crystal: “I wouldn't lean on the fact that she's been … therapy … best of luck … safer than going back.” [55:28]

The hosts encourage Annie to prioritize her well-being and consider the credibility of past accusations before attempting to rekindle the friendship.

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7. CTA and Announcements

Upcoming Events and Merchandise
The episode concludes with announcements about The Read’s upcoming 12-year anniversary show at the Beacon Theater in New York City and reminders to follow the show on social media and purchase merchandise.

• Crystal: “You can get tickets to our 12 year anniversary show at the readlive.com … have a fun time for all.” [105:08]

• Risque: “Follow me on patreon.com Kid Fury and we’ll see you next week.” [106:26]

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Notable Quotes

• At [03:26]: Risque celebrates Marcus Freeman's achievement, stating, “He’s become the first black head coach to reach the college football finals.”

• At [13:26]: Risque criticizes the TikTok ban, remarking, “TikTok was shut down, and … thank you, Trump, for bringing back TikTok once he takes office.”

• At [24:25]: Crystal questions Busta Rhymes’ actions, asking, “So for being on his phone, you think he was on TikTok?”

• At [45:00]: Crystal condemns Sexyy Red, saying, “You thought it was innocent, you stupid bitch … disrespected her for being righteously upset.”

• At [54:02]: Risque advises Annie, “Just refocus on unpacking the last bit of your letter and how you feel about that and the healthiest ways to heal.”

---

Conclusion

In "LA Hitness," Kid Fury and Crissle deliver an engaging episode filled with insightful discussions on sports achievements, movie successes, TV show praises, and heated debates on recent pop culture controversies. From celebrating Marcus Freeman's groundbreaking role to criticizing disrespectful AI-generated imagery, the hosts provide a balanced mix of humor and critical analysis. Listener letters add a personal touch, offering relatable relationship advice. The episode wraps up with exciting announcements, inviting listeners to join in upcoming live events and engage with The Read community.

For more episodes and updates, follow The Read on website and social media.

Transcript

[Kid Fury]

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nelson Report.

[Crystal]

Happy day.

[Risque]

I'm dead sleep and you tricking in the club with dirty foot bitches. My girl was there and she witnessed. She had a camera phone, she took pictures. You, you were on the dance floor grinding with a stripper hoe named diamond, flossing hard. You was shining everything she drank. You buying. Fuck, nigga, you need to stop lying before I get mad and pull out my nine. You want a new bitch to fuck, then that's fine, but don't fuck hers. Then try to fuck mine.

[Crystal]

Literally.

[Risque]

You keep telling me you ain't touch her, but something, something keeps telling me that you don't fucked her. Now I ain't that bitch that you want to play with. So nigga, drop them boxers.

[Crystal]

Say it.

[Risque]

I won't. Welcome back to the show, everyone. I'm BAFTA winning rapper and civil rights pioneer Risque.

[Crystal]

And I am Rekia Jackson and this is. Thanks for coming back. You know, since you mentioned Sechina, she has been all over my for you page on TikTok. I mean she was already like. I already knew who she was, but now it's like nonstop. I'm obsessed.

[Risque]

I.

[Crystal]

She's great.

[Risque]

Love her so much. I followed her back when I heard a song of hers called Last Laugh, which is a bit similar, just kind of in the way it's shot. She kind of went out into the streets of London in a sexy bikini top and yeah, you know, was doing women on the street type things. But her music is, you know, y'all say in it the stallion, but that is, that is Katrina, Laverne Taylor's British niece.

[Crystal]

Like she has a lot of children. You know, Megan is one of them. She's got a lot of nieces and daughters and, and the such and the like out here. So. Yeah, absolutely. I. But I would love to see her and Meg on something. Are you kidding? Are you fucking kidding?

[Risque]

Meggie?

[Crystal]

Okay, well, all right. It was, it was.

[Risque]

Let's do some black excellence.

[Crystal]

Okay? Festive fun.

[Risque]

First, I would like to give black excellence to one Marcus Freeman, head coach of Notre Dame. He's become the first black head coach to reach the college football finals. So I was the first Asian American coach.

[Crystal]

He used both.

[Risque]

Also half Korean.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Risque]

Notre Dame played in the finals against Ohio State on Monday of last week. Wait, today? Wait, what's the. Oh, today's Wednesday work.

[Crystal]

That was just this week. That was just a couple days ago. I guess you didn't watch the game. That's too bad. I would have loved to talk sports with you, but, you know, when asked.

[Risque]

About the milestone, Mr. Freeman said, it's an honor, and I hope all coaches, minorities, black, Asian, white, it doesn't matter. Great people continue to get opportunities to lead young men like this. But this ain't about me. This is about us. We're going to celebrate what we've done because it's so special. It's very clear. When that white lady asked him how it felt to be like the first black coach to reach the college football finals, he was like. He started by saying, I just want the players to, like, I'm the coach. But they played the game.

[Crystal]

So let's just talk about that.

[Risque]

So congratulations to him and to the football players of Notre Dame. A place where, I believe LeBron James played as a wide receiver.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, for sure. Yes. Straight out of high school, right to Notre Dame. Yep. Sure did. Wait, did you know how to thumbs up? Because he was there.

[Risque]

What?

[Crystal]

He was at the.

[Risque]

Didn't he play for Notre Dame?

[Crystal]

Okay, never mind. Never fucking mind.

[Risque]

Let's move right on. Whatever. Listen, I don't care.

[Crystal]

I know. No, you are killing me right now.

[Risque]

Also, congratulations to the cast and crew of One of them Days, number one movie this weekend.

[Crystal]

So funny. Oh, my God. I had a blast. Oh, my God. I actually literally laughed out loud at this movie.

[Risque]

So proud of you, Sarita. I'm so happy for you. I actually just got a Woo. A wave of emotion. Very proud of you. And, yeah, I've run my mouth about it endlessly, so it's nothing new. Go you. I'm happy for you.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Risque]

I'm sorry. Miss the baby shower. Love you lots. Congrats to Lawrence Lamont, the director of the film. Also, rap Shit Family Issa. They did a bunch of free screenings of the film here in la.

[Crystal]

Love that.

[Risque]

Gathered up money for Fire Relief, which is also really dope. So congratulations, everybody over there on having a really good movie out in theaters that's making people laugh because Lord knows we could use it.

[Crystal]

Yeah. And y'all took down Lin Manuel Miranda. That is not easy to do. Okay, you was going up a Miranda Soundtrack, and y'all came out on top. So congrats again. I had such a good time at this. Like, I've had an extremely rough week. Probably. Honestly, one of the worst of my life, and going to this movie and, you know, just literally cackling out loud at some of these scenes, the cameos, the. The. The way they had. Anyway, I'm not gonna. I don't want to spoil it, as ridiculous as that sounds for, like, a buddy comedy, but go. If you need to laugh and have some black fun, go see this movie. Seriously.

[Risque]

Yeah, it was a good time.

[Crystal]

It was a good time. I enjoyed it. The only part I didn't really watch was the. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna say too much. I'm gonna just say Janelle James. Yeah, I couldn't, because you know how I am about being a little squeamish, so. But otherwise, two thumbs up. Really, really, really.

[Risque]

And congratul. Speaking of Janelle James, Season five.

[Crystal]

Oh, yes.

[Risque]

Abbott elementary.

[Crystal]

Shout out to Quentin. Right, of course. Like, who's gonna be like. I'd actually like to cut off my top. My top show, not just on the network, but, like, on tv, period. I'll just go ahead and cut that off.

[Risque]

That, like, also hasn't really misstepped or.

[Crystal]

It's still good, even with the strike. The way they came back after the strikes and managed to fit in storylines in that truncated season. Bitch, don't play with Quentin. Them people over there.

[Risque]

It's like, the momentum of.

[Crystal]

It's so good.

[Risque]

It just. It's. Yeah, I'm like, season five, and I think about, like, a lot of sitcoms usually go, like, six, seven.

[Crystal]

Oh, Lord, no.

[Risque]

Oh, God. But we'll see what happens.

[Crystal]

Because, listen, when it's over, the way I will be buying that DVD box set with Quinta's commentary and everything else immediately, baby. Without question, Physical media is on its way back.

[Risque]

4K uhd. It better be. Oh, so now it's back now. You know what? That's fine. I'll save it. I'll save it. I'll save it.

[Crystal]

There's a lot to talk about this week.

[Risque]

Mm, sure it is. Now physical media's on its way back. I bet it is. Ooh, I'm gonna have a time with that. Well, let's have a discussion in terms of pop culture and things in the world and a segment that we call Hot tops. One of them gays. Let's start with maybe like that. Well, he's back. I don't have anything else to Say most I didn't watch.

[Crystal]

I also did not. I did not. I had so many other things to. I actually forgot the significance of Monday, even including Dr. King. I simply forgot. Like, I. I have been so caught up in my own shit that it took until I came home from dropping Lenny off at daycare. I'm like, why is it only two dogs at daycare? Because everybody's at home, sweet dumb bitch. I come home and cut on the TV and it's still on CBS or.

[Risque]

Fox or whatever racist dogs went to school.

[Crystal]

The dogs whose parents are like, I'll give a fuck about.

[Risque]

No, I guarantee you, Lainey don't like them. I guarantee you, lady don't like them, too. Lainey pulled up and saw them two bitches was like, mom, please take me home.

[Crystal]

But, yeah, I came back home and cut the TV on and saw them talking about that, and I said, oh, shit. Actually, let me find a Living Single marathon. I won't be doing this bullshit today. And that's that on that not until Monday evening when all the clips started rolling in on Blue Sky, TikTok, Instagram. That's when I started learning some of the details of what transpired on Monday. But, yeah, otherwise, that was none of my fucking business.

[Risque]

All of it unhinged, none of it surprising. And, you know, I'm just here them.

[Crystal]

Executive orders immediately, like, the same night. Girly pop. Yeah, that Gulf of America shit. Are you proposing that we take schools that already don't have money and whose budget you want to slash to then reprint maps and textbooks so that they say gulf of A. Yeah, you can't be. That can't be. That can't be right. No, that can't be right. You understand? The rest of the globe is gonna be like, fuck are y'all talking about?

[Risque]

And he's gonna write. He's gonna try to write on parchment that the Mexicans have to cut down the trees and print the maps like I hated.

[Crystal]

All right. I saw some farmers on TikTok talking about we can operate these farms, can operate without. All the workers that y'all are trying to round up can stay in operation for about 48 hours. And after that, we know most of y'all don't eat fresh produce, no way. But after that, it's a chop. I don't know what you going to do, cuz.

[Risque]

Ain't no more Nutty Buddies for everybody.

[Crystal]

Y'all gonna be in there like, I feel like fruit snacks count as fruit. It's in the name.

[Risque]

I mean, Fruit Loops. I don't understand why we're having.

[Crystal]

Not sure what y'all talk about. Cheerios are whole grain. I don't. That is a balanced meal, if you ask me.

[Risque]

Honey bun and Kraft sandwiches.

[Crystal]

Like, it's not funny, but it is.

[Risque]

It's on the way. I've never been more sure than anything.

[Crystal]

I mean, we have already seen this movie, and y'all are like, let's bring back part two with even fewer restrictions on this nigga. So what can I do? I mean, especially right now, I'm in a very nihilistic place. So you really don't want to be looking to me for no kind of leadership or guidance at all, because I'm very much in a, like, well.

[Risque]

Well, I never promised you niggas that in the first place.

[Crystal]

So if you been doing well, y'all voted for him. The Democrats sat right there and installed him into office, and everybody just went right along with the rules as normal. And so. Okay, girls, I.

[Risque]

Well, you have one huge thing to thank him for, which is TikTok.

[Crystal]

Now you know.

[Risque]

No, I do. So TikTok, everyone was, you know, running their mouth about, oh, my God, TikTok is gonna be gone. No. Biden, how could you? Our app.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Our knowledge, our lifeline, our Google, Literally.

[Risque]

Yeah. So I think around last Saturday night, the app was shut down, and TikTok put a petty little message up every time US residents would open it that said, sorry, TikTok isn't available right now. A law banning TikTok has been enacted in the US unfortunately, this means you can't use TikTok for now. And then there was a little shit emoji with the middle finger.

[Crystal]

I wish.

[Risque]

That would have been great. I would have. Oh, I wish. Anyways, by the following day, Sunday afternoon, it was back up and available to use in the US With a message that says, said, we are fortunate that President Trump has indicated that he will work with us on a solution to reinstate Tick Tock once he takes office. Please stay tuned.

[Crystal]

So they actually put that one up before it came back?

[Risque]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Okay. Because the first one, it was like a little generic message, and then they updated it to include Trump, and I was like, but, yeah, why would you call him President Trump when he's not even president? Why would you? Yeah, and they cut it off.

[Risque]

That message actually came out a couple of hours before. After the first.

[Crystal]

Yes. Yeah. I mean, I know, because I was on TikTok when it stopped working. I was literally scrolling the app when.

[Risque]

It stopped working, and then it just shut down.

[Crystal]

I was. No, you. You would just try to scroll up to the next video and it just wouldn't move. So then I'm like, what's going on? So I closed because I know I still got 90 minutes left before y'all shut it down. So, like, where's my Ticky Talk? And then I reopened it and I got them messages.

[Risque]

I hate that they brought this down. Okay, so it's back. Just took about a day, day and a half. Not even more like 12. So I'm just saying. Jesus took three. So.

[Crystal]

So where are you going with that?

[Risque]

Just saying on a scale of power, relevance, that's how I feel like y'all act when y'all talk about this application.

[Crystal]

Oh, God, the.

[Risque]

Like, I was never more satisfied for something so huge and unprecedented to have absolutely, absolutely the nothing to do with me until I tried to edit a Patreon video and realize they shut down Cap Cut.

[Crystal]

Oh, and I was. Oh, the beef is also at my doorstep.

[Risque]

I guess I'll go back to using Final Cut.

[Crystal]

Okay, so you weren't all that. No, because you're a professional and you have multiple options for video.

[Risque]

And because I'm a living adult. What the is wrong with y'all?

[Crystal]

Well, we can't.

[Risque]

The children. Fine. You grown ass niggas used to put duct tape or Scotch tape on a back of VHS's like, me too. And now you don't like. Yeah, now your attention span is. Is. Is all fucked.

[Crystal]

It's just my favorite.

[Risque]

There is grass outside, and I urge a couple of you bitches to touch and feel.

[Crystal]

First of all, the wind chill in New York right now is three fucking degrees. I'm not going outside. Secondly, that algorithm knows me. You don't understand.

[Risque]

Ugh, that. God, mom, you just don't get me, Gina.

[Crystal]

That algorithm knows me so fucking.

[Risque]

I don't even give a fuck about TikTok because I don't know or use it enough to give a fuck. People like it. It's a whatever. Like, great. I have no real beef with it as much as I do people acting as it. Like people's this. There is this really weird way that a lot of our attention, or lack thereof, has been warped by not just this app, but many of them.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, these phones.

[Risque]

I think I'm even victim to this.

[Crystal]

Just the phones.

[Risque]

But like, the kids being like, oh, my God, fine. But like, my grandaunt shouldn't be texting me asking if I can do something about this.

[Crystal]

I mean, I didn't cry, you know, I didn't even talk about it on social media. I, you know, went on about my day, but I did, you know, try to reopen it several times over that 12, 14 hours. And every time, I was like. And that was about the extent of it. And then it came back like, we all knew it would, because it was just a giant stunt from the beginning. And then as soon as they brought it back and they're like, oh, thank you, Trump, for bringing back Tim. Like, yeah, you did whatever you had to do to keep Tik Tok operational. But that whole thing, shutting it down for 12 hours, girl.

[Risque]

And wasn't his big, lumpy ass the whole one who was like, let's get Tik Tok out of here. It's all true.

[Crystal]

Yes. And he was not even in office during this alleged break, so I. That really did piss me off. And then I had to go block all the meta apps on TikTok to get my algorithm back. Right? But now it's back, right? I think, you know, but I got my eye on them. It won't be long, I'm sure, before TikTok start pissing me.

[Risque]

I'm gonna start writing letters.

[Crystal]

Mm. Okay. To whom?

[Risque]

Anybody. Like, I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna get rid of my phone, and if I need to contact you, I'm gonna write you snail mail.

[Crystal]

Oh, carrier pigeon. You're gonna send an owl?

[Risque]

I'm gonna light a fire on my balcony and send out smoke.

[Crystal]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Risque]

Oh, well, no, I can't do that here anyway. I'm gonna. Listen, I'm just concerned. I want us all to have a good time. Okay, well, you know, I'm the tech nerd. I can look to my right. Look, there's a lightsaber that I got from Disney. Everybody have a good time.

[Crystal]

Okay? Yeah.

[Risque]

But I'm not gonna be like, one Piece isn't airing in the US Anymore. This is a dystopian future.

[Crystal]

I see, I see, I see. Hey, y'all. Acorns makes it so easy to start automatically saving and investing so your money has a chance to grow for you, your kids, your dog. Maybe if your dog spends all your money like mine and your retirement. Look, you don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that fits you and your money goals. And you don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you invest with the spare money you've got right now. You can start with $5 or even just your spare change. Okay? Acorns gives you and your money a chance to grow. You don't need to feel like financial wellness is impossible. Acorns gives you small, simple steps to get you and your money on track. So head on over to acorns.com theread or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today. Now wait girlies, because this part is important. Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorn Tier 2 compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important [e-mail] the read this podcast.

[Risque]

Is sponsored and brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to succeed online. And boy, y'all are hitting all kinds of licks these days. So for your brand new Courtesy of TikTok Co. Puppy socks and kitten hats, you're going to need a place to house that information and product. And you can get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain at squarespace.com theread introducing Design Intelligence from Squarespace combining two decades of industry leading design expertise with cutting edge AI technology to unlock your strongest creative potential. You don't even have to do the work. Squarespace is ready to do the work for you. Okay, so all you have to do is just crochet them puppy socks and let Squarespace do the rest. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch squarespace.com theread to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain, let them know we sent you Missy Elliott is in the studio, perhaps with one Summer Walker.

[Crystal]

Oh, I would like to hear that.

[Risque]

Which seems like a good thing that can happen to music.

[Crystal]

Yes, I would like to hear that. I would like to hear Missy production Summer Walker.

[Risque]

It feels like it should have happened. Sure, it feels like a rite of passage.

[Crystal]

Let me know as soon as it's available.

[Risque]

Like I'm talking about the second thank you.

[Crystal]

Send an alert to the show.

[Risque]

I would like to hear it.

[Crystal]

Since y'all can do every damn thing else.

[Risque]

She should just call it New Summer and put it out in June.

[Crystal]

And do it like the new.

[Risque]

Anyways, I'm looked. I'm just spitballing was added on the good news. Let's see. Busta Rhymes turned himself in to the police in New York City after an alleged fight with his assistant Dashiell Gables. Apparently the two got into an argument after Buster told Dashiell to get off of his phone during work hours. This took place apparently allegedly Reportedly in the lobby of Mr. Gable's condominium building.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Risque]

Apparently the argument escalated. Dashiell was reportedly punched in the face multiple times. Buster ran off. Dashiell called 911. He was rushed to the hospital and treated for an injury to the eye.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God. Nigga, you cracked this.

[Risque]

Buster since turned himself into the police department and was given a desk appearance ticket for misdemeanor assault, attempted assault and harassment.

[Crystal]

Yikes.

[Risque]

More at 11.

[Crystal]

So for being on his phone, you think he was on Tick tock?

[Risque]

He's probably trying to find out if it came back like.

[Crystal]

Wait, no, this was January 10th. So you, you bashed the nigga's face him because he was on his. Is his job to use the phone. I have to imagine as his assistant, you all, you have to be on the phone.

[Risque]

That's what I was saying. I was like, okay, I feel like there is, there is a reasonable chance that this assistant ain't do shit. There's just a chance.

[Crystal]

Like, I think it's a healthy chance.

[Risque]

Just, just a chance. Because I'm like, as is your assistant. Oh, my God. I imagine he has to use the phone a lot.

[Crystal]

That's right. Ubers, all kinds of stuff.

[Risque]

Now there's also a chance and a reasonable one that he was on the phone for some personal reasons, especially if he was at home. Because they said this is a lobby and we're at, you know, wherever it.

[Crystal]

Is, a lobby of his building, it says downtown Brooklyn from what I just googled.

[Risque]

So work.

[Crystal]

Yeah. So it could go either way, I guess. How old is this man? That's what I'm gonna find out.

[Risque]

I don't know. Oh, well said. His age, I think on this says 43, so. 43. I figured he's probably.

[Crystal]

He's an adult, right? Big grown adult.

[Risque]

Busta is big grown.

[Crystal]

Right. And now I'm thinking about it. Why would Busta have like a 24 year old sister?

[Risque]

Yes. I assumed he was up there.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Risque]

And they probably know each other and have known each other for a while. But again, that's a time machine. So I was sitting here like, okay, obviously this looks bad. You're, you know, telling your assistant, who is usually always on, who's likely always on his phone when he's with you, to get off of his phone during work hours and whatever. Clearly not nearly even if he was talking to, you know, one of his side bitches. Not nearly a harsh enough offense for you to get.

[Crystal]

Right? Right. There's nothing to justify that bad. Right? It does.

[Risque]

Then I'm like, it says they got into an argument.

[Crystal]

It does say that.

[Risque]

And that escalated. And then I just pictured him going to the police and saying, you, Honor, I told Dashiell, brother, this is the third time I told you that you can't check TikTok for hoes while you're on the clock. And his response to me, sir, was la adman gasakyamada. And so if you understand where I'm going with this, culturally, I think I do. That was unacceptable. We could just call them fighting words. I saw red. And now he sees it in one eye at least. So yikes. I'm here to take the responsibility and consequence.

[Crystal]

Well, you're not gonna get away with this. A condo in downtown Brooklyn surely has 24. Seven security cameras. Probably.

[Risque]

I don't think he's attempted to. He turned himself in, right?

[Crystal]

I mean, there's. This is what I'm saying. You might as well, because. Yeah, not is going to. You know, didn't you say they didn't even arrest them? They issued some sort of citations. Oh, a desk appearance.

[Risque]

Yeah, a desk appearance.

[Crystal]

So they didn't. I'm sure it would have been much worse had you avoided contacting the police. I just want to know. I want to know how the. The details of the escalation. Because you got to be on the same thing I said because what provokes you to bash another grown man's face in which office? Just cause he's on his phone like that? Don't be on your phone during work hours. To an assistant sounds like a crackish thing to say. Like, I am your personal assistant. What do you think I can do without the phone?

[Risque]

He could have really been on his phone.

[Crystal]

Yes, for some bullshit. But as you pointed out, that is not a reason to punch a nigga's eye.

[Risque]

That is why I said exactly what you said. Right.

[Crystal]

So this is what I need the tea.

[Risque]

I need the tea. I need the.

[Crystal]

I need to see how we got here.

[Risque]

Who said what?

[Crystal]

Mama isn't making sense. Unless he was on Tik Tok Live showing off your house and your kids or some shit. That was not. Being on the phone was not justifiable for, you know, this sort of physical altercation. So I need what was said.

[Risque]

Did he.

[Crystal]

What was done?

[Risque]

The. The scripts. Did he. Did he say, I don't feel like picking up your Ozempic today, nigga? Like what?

[Crystal]

Did he thump you in the middle of your forehead?

[Risque]

I just need a little bit.

[Crystal]

I need to know.

[Risque]

Cause desk appearance ticket for misdemeanor. I feel like he went to the nypd.

[Crystal]

But, you know, now when you said. Never mind. Never mind.

[Risque]

No.

[Crystal]

What would you like to say? I thought you were gonna say that when he went to turn himself into the police, he was saying he was gonna say, buster, what it is right now. But anyway, obviously not that. Obviously not that.

[Risque]

Nothing else to say.

[Crystal]

That's just what I.

[Risque]

Kid Cudi.

[Crystal]

That's just what I thought, Kitty.

[Risque]

Kid Cudi's home in LA was broken into. As if the homes out here ain't dealing with enough, I guess. But that's just the. They're always doing that. This is scary. But apparently.

[Crystal]

I went. So when you first said that, I thought maybe, oh, evacuation. Somebody's looking for, you know, some place to hide out or something. Or. Right. Maybe just take. Maybe to loot. I don't know. But, like, that's what I. At first I thought this was somehow connected to the fires, but then I clicked the link and it is not that. So.

[Risque]

Around Wednesday of last week, Kid Cudi apparently noticed a man shirtless in his kitchen via his home security system and immediately called authorities. The LA County Sheriff's deputies went over to the house and found a man inside the house, they say, attempting to burglarize it, but not before he had eaten some of Kid Cudi's food, used the bathroom, and taken a shower work. He was immediately arrested in the home, taken into custody, and booked on felony burglary and theft of utilities. His bail is $150,000. It says the suspect believed the law. This the law. Law enforcement believed the suspect may have been homeless.

[Crystal]

Mm. Oh, well, yes. That would. That would actually make this significantly less funny than I thought it was gonna be.

[Risque]

Yeah. And I had a lot of jokes.

[Crystal]

I mean, nigga, I'm over here.

[Risque]

I'm gonna tell him anyway. I would have been in that bitch. Like, if we're ste.

[Crystal]

Like, pretend we're just regular shithead people. We. We're not lacking for resources. We're just two looking for somebody. Let's just say that live here.

[Risque]

This is against the law. There are many nice things here that cost a lot of money.

[Crystal]

I'm with you.

[Risque]

I'm following and limited time.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Risque]

For my illegal access to them. So. Because I. This has happened a couple of times actually, in stories like this. This is not the first time I've read something like this, but either way, my intention is to get away with this.

[Crystal]

Sure. I think that's everybody's.

[Risque]

I'm gliding through that bitch like I'm On Supermarket Sweep, I'm unplugging his hoverboard, and I am going to coast through this bitch at 80 miles per hour, throwing shit in a sack like I'm the Grinch. There's, like, why I'm not just stealing.

[Crystal]

Christmas from all of Whoville at Kid Cuddy house. Same what? Same exact same shit.

[Risque]

Like, the. The. I can get. I'm done. I'm going to stop. I'm going to leave them there.

[Crystal]

Well, I will say I can understand if you like, let's. Again, working under the pretense that I'm just an asshole and not in need, I can see breaking into somebody's house, taking a few small things that you know will be really valuable or you can easily resell. Important point. And then saying, while I'm here, you know, that nigga got a Versace robe. They got heated floors in the bathroom. You know, he got a Jacuzzi. Like, I could see, you know, giving yourself a nice little luxury spa experience in the bath. And then who wouldn't naturally be hungry afterwards?

[Risque]

Like, could you see yourself creating a price list for that coochie when you get into the prison house? The judicial system, bitch. Because you're going to jail.

[Crystal]

Yeah, sure you are. But that's exactly why you ought to have a nice, good bath. Cause you going to jail. Who knows when you'll get another good, safe opportunity to cleanse your body. You might as well.

[Risque]

I'll tell you when.

[Crystal]

Eat that good food in there.

[Risque]

I'll tell you when.

[Crystal]

I'm just saying, if you wanted to.

[Risque]

Tomorrow after the pawn shop open and I go check into the fucking Four Seasons.

[Crystal]

Sure, sure. But, you know, I will say this in all seriousness.

[Risque]

The girls used to hit licks. Like, what are we.

[Crystal]

I think that's. But I think that's what makes it not funny. Because it's like, damn, you really did just need some personality.

[Risque]

Oh, yeah. In this situation. I think if I was Kid Cuddy, a luxurious bathroom.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Risque]

And, you know, whatever kind of food. Yeah.

[Crystal]

You use the toilet. Took a shower and ate my food. Like, if you didn't steal nothing and you just used my home, I wouldn't even press charges.

[Risque]

Like, that was the part where I was like, read the theft of utilities.

[Crystal]

I was like, well, what about theft of. Those are utilities. You act like, like, he heated up the pool. The nigga went and took a bath and used the fucking toilet. He ate that lunch meat that you was probably going to go bad before you even came home. Like, is. But see, that isn't funny. That's a sad. A sad lens on the reality of this capitalistic hellscape we all occupy. So it's much funnier to imagine. This actually makes me angry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Risque]

See, see, this actually makes me very angry. Theft and utility, I have so many more jokes. I'm not angry because like, like, that pisses me off, but also like, girl.

[Crystal]

LA county, when they privatize clean air and then all of a sudden children are getting arrested for taking sniffs of somebody else's clean air. Baby, it's on the way. It's on the way.

[Risque]

There's so many luxury properties in this county that are just sitting there.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Risque]

And there are so many unhoused people just breathing in this, you know.

[Crystal]

Oh, God, yes. The air quality out there has to be absolutely horrific.

[Risque]

So this actually makes me.

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah.

[Risque]

Actually upsets me.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Free that man. Free that man.

[Risque]

Speaking of LA shenanigans, former rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine is suing LA Fitness for US$1 million. Back in 2023, Tekashi was brutally attacked by three Latin Kings at the Palm Beach LA Fitness location. Tekashi is accusing the gym of failing to protect him as they knew they were located in an area where crime statistics had been increasing. The lawsuit says that LA Fitness had a duty to adopt and implement reasonable security.

[Crystal]

Don't they have reasonable security? Don't you have to show proof of membership to get in?

[Risque]

Yeah, they have reasonable security for niggas who work out at LA Fitness. Like some lawyers need to tell niggas to get off their phone.

[Crystal]

The better question.

[Risque]

Some lawyers have to look at you and say, get your tutti frutti lace front off of my FaceTime. I'm not having this conversation with you.

[Crystal]

Because not to blame the victim. As an attorney, my first question is why were you at an LA Fitness in a crime ridden area to begin with? If you didn't feel safe, why were.

[Risque]

You a wide open snitch with very.

[Crystal]

Very recognizable hair that you haven't cut or taken out or anything like you're.

[Risque]

Choosing to be this.

[Crystal]

It's confusing to me. I'm, I'm, I'm not understanding why you did this. Why did you choose to do that? Why were you there?

[Risque]

Furthermore, imagine being the security team at LA Fitness, all three of you making a collective $7 an hour.

[Crystal]

Well, this is LA, so 18 Palm Beach. Oh, oh, you said LA Fitness and I assumed Los Angeles.

[Risque]

A lot of people do, and that.

[Crystal]

Is very my bad. Okay, Paul, Beach. Yes. $7.

[Risque]

The first time I saw LA Fitness in New York or something, I was like, well what?

[Crystal]

You was right. $7.

[Risque]

So there you are with your flashlight and your trapper keeper. Underpaid, undervalued. And this ungrateful little bastard expects for you to be the A team because now he work out here. Bitch, we ain't the first family. Ain't nobody. Like nobody is paying you or nobody is paying us to up security here because a federal snitch decides that this is where he wants to come and do kettlebell swings. You better take your ass somewhere out here or bring your own motherfucking added security.

[Crystal]

That is exactly what I was gonna say. Why don't you have security? If you insist on working out at An LA Fitness, would it not be safer for you to work out anywhere else? Work out at home, nigga.

[Risque]

Furthermore, you not from here. I work here. I'm likely from here, nigga. That nigga one of the motherfuckers who jumped you? My cousin. So what are we talking about?

[Crystal]

You thought I was gonna leave my, my. I didn't want to my assignment position as guardian of the front entrance of the LA Fitness to come see about you, baby. Apple got workouts. $9 a month. Apple got all these workouts you can do at home even if you have no equipment. They got workouts, you could you do them right on your watch. The watch you didn't. All of that, all of it is sync the workouts on the phone or you can airplay to the TV is sync right with your watch. And you can just do it right at home, baby. You can jog around your backyard. You did not have to go to LA Fitness. Who told you to do that? It is a reasonable amount of security for An LA Fitness.

[Risque]

I don't.

[Crystal]

It's not even some classy expensive gym. No shade. It is a very regular ass gym where regular ass people go.

[Risque]

If it was an Equinox, you probably still would have got jumped, my love.

[Crystal]

I mean, perhaps because people hate you just that fucking much.

[Risque]

You're incredibly hate. That's what I'm saying. And you have on an it's a cadoozy like wig.

[Crystal]

You wouldn't have lasted that equinox cuz you come in there smelling like that, they're gonna ask you to leave. So you can't even come in here smelling like mold.

[Risque]

So they might have just beat your ass cause they homophobic.

[Crystal]

This was stupid. This was so dumb on your part. Yeah, I hope the attorneys at LA Fitness laughed long and Hard at this. Long and hard. Because if you're going to, you might have a case if the Latin Kings come in and randomly beat somebody ass every week at that location. Otherwise.

[Risque]

Right, exactly.

[Crystal]

Otherwise, this sounds like it's very much a you problem, not a us. They would have beat your ass down to the Walmart, the Chick Fil A, the check cash.

[Risque]

If it was a random ass beating, where it was like, this is the, you know, a national Latin King's holiday where we just mark somebody out what we do. And our favorite location is the la. Like, no, they hate you. They hate you. And any judge who also knows your case, which is all of them, is going to say exactly what Crystal Jean just said, which is, bitch, who do you think that you are?

[Crystal]

You would have beat your ass anywhere. That was not a federal location. Only place you safe is the post office and the airport. Anywhere else, they gonna beat your ass. They gonna beat your ass. Well, don't nobody want to end up on the no Fly List, Mom. I feel like every now and then.

[Risque]

Someone surprises you, but most people don't.

[Crystal]

Most people are like, you know, that's a. That's a lifetime commitment to not being able to fly out of this country. I don't think I wanna. I don't really want to play myself like that.

[Risque]

You, sir, lots of security.

[Crystal]

LA Fitness lawyers gonna be like exit points. We've had zero people get their ass beat at this location since we've been in operation.

[Risque]

Maybe a chase. You are getting stomped the fuck out of the chase. And that I can promise you.

[Crystal]

Dirty ass white boy.

[Risque]

Who cares? Speaking of dirty, Sexyy Red posted an AI photo that somebody made of her passionately clasping hands with Martin Luther King Jr. While looking her spectacled eyes into his. Well, he's not looking at her because it's AI and stupid, but you get the point. They're like, it's her looking like that with Martin Luther King. So she posted this on MLK Day because, you know, she likes attention. So dark. Dr. MLK Jr. The daughter of the doctor. I'm sorry.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Risque]

Ms. Bernice King retweeted this and said this is intentionally distasteful, dishonoring, deplorable, and disrespectful to my. Ooh, alliteration. And disrespectful to my family and my father, who is not here to respond himself because he was assassinated for working for your civil and human rights and to end war and poverty. Please delete the. Please delete. Well, allegedly, Sexyy Red did delete and responded to Ms. King saying you ain't wrong. Never meant to disrespect your family. My apologies. Just reposted something I saw that I thought was innocent.

[Crystal]

You thought it was innocent, you stupid bitch. What's innocent about you and MLK in the club which you like seductively? Okay, all right, all right. Never mind. She is a dumbass. I forget.

[Risque]

Responded to that and said thank you for your apology which I sincerely accept. Please know that I it was not my intention that you be denigrated. I value as a human. Value you as a human being. I hope you understand my concerns about the image. I know that my father has become a bit of a character to the world and that his image is often used with no regard to his family, his sacrificial work or to the tragic unjust way in which he died. A state sanctioned assassination. Unfortunately, I regularly challenge the disregard. I earnestly wish that people would image. Can't even read half this. I earnestly wish that people would imagine what it would feel like to see their deceased murdered father repurposed for party flyers, unjust legislation, etc. All the best to you, young lady. This was such a ga. Like a classy gathering, tutoring and like salutation like just sayonara you kids and this AI bye gone about your dumb ass young ass business you're ungrateful to. Title ass business is what I got from this. But also like thank you for apologizing. You should have. And also you're a human being and I accept that.

[Crystal]

Yeah, let me. I mean sexy gets on my nerves. But she did at least apologize. A lot of these little young niggas would have called her a bitch or a hoe or.

[Risque]

Very true.

[Crystal]

Disrespected her for being righteously upset at the games y'all play behind her daddy. So. Yep, good for you for at least doing that.

[Risque]

Yeah, that's it for the hot tops this week on this podcast. All right, we're going to take a break and come back.

[Crystal]

Welcome to Nadia Yada Island.

[Risque]

Next on Nadia Yada Island.

[Crystal]

I knew I deserved so much more, so I left. I finally switched to Metro and got.

[Risque]

What I was looking for. Get one line for only $25 a month with autopay. Just bring your phone to Metro and experience all the data you want on the largest 5G network. That's nada. Yada yada.

[Crystal]

Only at Metro T mobile. First month is $30. Bring your number and ID offer not available. If with T Mobile with Metro in the past 180 days hey y'all, you.

[Risque]

Tired of figuring out what's for dinner night after night? Especially on those busy weekdays, which is girl, all of them. Well, get dinner done the easy way. Thanks to HelloFresh, it's easy to find time to eat with 50 wholesome hassle free meals to choose from each week delivered to your door. And HelloFresh's new ready made meals go from the fridge to your fork in just three minutes. The same high quality ingredients, restaurant worthy flavor you expect from hellofresh just with none of the work. In fact, I've used HelloFresh recipes for a couple of years now and not only are the recipes like really good and they give you everything you need, it actually just by virtue of using it has kind of taught me how to cook things on my own now. So even without needing the recipe I can be like, oh yeah, I can make such and such and such and such now because I know how to use it because I've done it a bunch of times. Get up to 10 free meals and free high protein item for [e-mail] the Read 10 FM 1 item per box with active subscription free meals applied as a discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That's up to 10 free meals at HelloFresh. Just go to HelloFresh.com the Read 10 FM all right folks, we're back. We are and it's time for letters.

[Crystal]

Yes. Send your questions to ask areitgmail.com. we may read them aloud on the show. Our first letter this week comes from B. Who says hey Crystal and Kif Yuri, I've been thinking about breaking an 8 year old. No contact with a friend. Sarah and I met in university. We started dating but she went back to her ex and in true lesbian fashion, we became friends. We moved to the same city after university and our friendship blossomed. I always kept it strictly friendship, although at one point she said that she loved me. During that time we had a friends with benefits situation, but I always maintained that we could never be anything more. When Sarah ended our friendship, I was devastated. I felt like she had taken the decision to throw our friendship away without considering me. We had a brief email exchange where I expressed how I felt and she did too. Basically she said my decision to not take our situationship to the next level was selfish and self serving. And I said that she was manipulative and gaslighting me. Then I felt I should not be held hostage to the fact that she wanted a relationship. When she decided to go back to her Ex. And on top of all of this, we were young and our goals and personalities were not aligned. I admit that the friends with benefits situation did blur the lines, but I always felt like she understood that she had hurt me, and I just couldn't trust her in that way again. Besides, I felt like our friendship was way deeper than a relationship. I also got a peek into her relational practices and dynamics, and I felt like not much had changed. Has changed. The thing is, I miss my friend. Yes, our friendship was confused and ill defined, but I just always felt like we would outgrow those hurdles as we got partners and grew up. However, it is not that simple. Since then, she has been exposed as abusive by her previous partners during the South African MeToo movement, and she has been called out for scamming queer artists. As a queer space organizer at the time, I completely supported the artists and the victims. And honestly, knowing her and the company she kept, at times, I believe that she did everything she was accused of. But that was five years ago, and I miss her. I miss our friendship. As a friend, she was amazing. She helped and encouraged me as a young activist, and I always felt in community with her. Do y'all think this is a good idea? I know she comes with baggage, but I have it on good authority she has gone to therapy and worked on herself, as have I. So do you think it would be possible to work towards re establishing a friendship? P.S. for context, I did lose my family during COVID and have been struggling a lot lately with loss and nostalgia for the old and simpler times. Please help. Thanks. Be lesbians. God, this is so gay.

[Risque]

It is.

[Crystal]

This is so fucking gay.

[Risque]

Are you fucking serious?

[Crystal]

Oh, baby.

[Risque]

Okay. At least you have recognized, acknowledged, and included that you had a really tragic and unfortunate loss that is likely relevant.

[Crystal]

Hugely relevant.

[Risque]

This case.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Risque]

With old girl. My suggestion will be to keep her an old girl. You've heard that on good authority that the grass is looking green over there and a therapist comes over and all of that. And you know what you can do with that information? Smile.

[Crystal]

Yep. Tuck it right in your pocket and keep it close.

[Risque]

And then have breakfast. I don't. You. No, don't do that at all. You say. Oh, look how things can work out nicely.

[Crystal]

Mm.

[Risque]

Okay.

[Crystal]

Good for her. I wish her the best in her healing journey because I know what it's like. Yeah. Just because you both have been to therapy doesn't mean she's made the same amount of progress in therapy or any progress in therapy. I. I wouldn't lean on the fact that she's been. As a reason to re. Establish something with this person at all. At all. Baby girl, I actually think you are probably feeling so fragile right now that if she wanted to play mind games or manipulate you somehow, it would be easier than ever to do.

[Risque]

It would be so easy. And what's gonna. What could come of you falling back into a familiar situation or connection with her is then you possibly beating yourself up for being like, oh, you know, I did all this work to, you know, set boundaries, and now I'm back in this situation, then I should know better. It's just. It's not really worth it. I think you should refocus on probably unpacking the last bit of your letter and how you feel about that and, like, the healthiest ways to heal or to live with those circumstances.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Risque]

Because, like, losing loved ones doesn't mean that old, familiar things are safe spaces. Maybe new, unfamiliar things are safe, safer spaces.

[Crystal]

Yeah. And that's a safer bet than her.

[Risque]

Yeah, like a documented unsafe space.

[Crystal]

Taking your chances with somebody new is safer than going back to this person who you have personally struggled with and you have also heard other credible things about and have believed other people who say they were victimized by her. Yeah. That was five years ago. A lot can change in five years. But I would not be counting on that. I would not bet on that. I think I do know my people. I know, I know, I know.

[Risque]

She said something in there. That too was so lesbian. And so, like, another reason I'm like, do not go over there. What was it? Not wanting to take it a step further was selfish or something.

[Crystal]

Oh, yes. When she broke, she ended the friendship and said you not wanting to be something more was selfish and self serving, which Those mean the same thing. But. But like what?

[Risque]

That is so wild.

[Crystal]

That's selfish of you for. To not want to be in a relationship with me again. Because the last time we were in a relationship, I broke up with you to go back to my ex. That's selfish of me. Are you serious?

[Risque]

But it's also a lesbian. Like if I was sitting with my lesbian friends at Sweet.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Risque]

And this was, you know, storyline. Yeah.

[Crystal]

And you said that you kept it strictly friendship, but then when she said she loved you, y'all started sleeping together again. But it couldn't be more than that. Okay. That's not strictly friendship.

[Risque]

Gay.

[Crystal]

No, baby, I think you're grieving a lot. Very understandably so. Covid alone is terrible. And so many people are just now beginning to face, you know, just the reality of. Of what we have been through since 2020 to also lose your family on top of that. Come on. The. The. I think you're. The grief is talking here. And so hopefully you're still seeing that therapist and they can specialize in. In grief. In particular, helping you address this, because that's huge. Like, you threw it in at the very end for context, but it really.

[Risque]

Right.

[Crystal]

It changes the entire tone of this letter. It changes the entire.

[Risque]

Drove me off the road.

[Crystal]

It changes the entire way I would respond to you, because at first, like a moose.

[Risque]

What leaped out in front of my Chrysler 300.

[Crystal]

Yeah, that's a. That's a huge thing. So be kind with yourself. But also, you know, I. I just think just about anybody else just taking a chance on somebody new and trusting your gut is better than going back to somebody that you have already said made you feel as though she was manipulating and gaslighting you. Like that power is probably still within her. So definitely best of. Best of luck to you, baby girl. Well, we don't know. Maybe. Maybe your ex has grown, but let somebody else figure that out. That. That's not for you to figure out.

[Risque]

No, I said that thing that you just described, that she was able to take root in her and manipulate her has only grown.

[Crystal]

Oh, Lord.

[Risque]

Darker and more evil. Insidious Part 3.

[Crystal]

That's a movie.

[Risque]

Yeah. Two of them. They're scary.

[Crystal]

I was gonna say it sounds scary. I don't think I want to look at that. You put your scary movie voice on. Okay.

[Risque]

But good luck. Gay.

[Crystal]

I also get lots of Trixie and Katya clips now because of you. I'm also assuming that's because of you, literally.

[Risque]

Trixie, Katya, Bob Monet. That is my whole. Are you watching the Traders?

[Crystal]

No, but I know Bob was on it briefly, and I think now she's. Oh, did I spoil it? Did I spoil it for you? I don't know if that's true because I haven't watched it, so. But don't. I'm sure I didn't. She's probably still doing great on that show. Okay, our last question comes from Annie, who says, I just want y'all. Let me know if I'm crazy. I'm a straight woman in my early 20s dating a proclaimed straight man who is also in his early 20s. I have a big friend group that I've known for my whole life. We're super close, and we hang out often. This group includes two bisexual girls, two straight women, including myself, and my gay male friend Jacob. Here's the problem. Anytime one of my friends would date a straight man as a joke, Jacob would playfully flirt with their boyfriend or jokingly make remarks about stealing their man. My friends and their boyfriends would usually laugh it off because they always perceived it as harmless and that would be the end of it. However, I'm a late bloomer and I haven't dated much, so I never knew how it felt until I started bringing my first serious boyfriend, Sean around. We all got together one day and Jacob got a little tipsy and started flirting with my man. To my surprise, Shawn started to match his energy and made flirty remarks right back. I laughed it off at first even though it made me uncomfortable not wanting to kill the mood or start a problem. However, it started to become a regular occurrence every time we were all together. I told Jacob about my discomfort and he apologized and agreed to stop immediately. However, when I finally sat my man down and told him I didn't like this behavior, Shawn became defensive and said that he's just comfortable enough in his sexuality to make jokes and it doesn't mean anything. I told him that in my head it is simply flirting and trying to get attention from somebody who's not your girlfriend, which I don't like. Sean could not seem to comprehend how flirting with my gay friend could make me uncomfortable. He claims it does not count because because he is 100 straight and says there is no chance he would do anything with Jacob so I should think it is harmless as well. He compared it to innocently flirting with old ladies to make their day. Sean said he makes bromance jokes like that with his straight friends all the time and even called me homophobic because he claimed I'm asking him to change how he would interact with Jacob because Jacob's gay. This conversation has completely baffled me. I am all for men having healthy, affectionate relationships with their friends, but I think it is both immature and more homophobic to act gay as a joke. I know I'm definitely not homophobic but am I unintentionally setting a homophobic boundary? I hear about straight people queerbaiting all the time. Do you guys think this is an example of queerbaiting? Or am I possibly dealing with a DL man? Or am I trippin and being overly possessive because I'm new to being in a relationship? Please give me any advice. Thanks. Love you guys. Annie no, I won't help the girl. She's in her early 20s. She don't know what to do.

[Risque]

I don't nothing leave them. Well, you're okay I'm unkeno.

[Crystal]

Give the girl something.

[Risque]

Chill the fuck out. It's just sexuality. Who the fuck cares? Now if you're. If you are telling your friend, I don't like that flirting shit with my nigga, gay or not, to me, it should just be like, okay, but that's.

[Crystal]

What the friend did.

[Risque]

Right. So that's that. However, at the same time, your man's argument is not a wild one. Like, who cares if he don't care if it doesn't bother him or if he flirts back? Like, I know a lot of straight men that do it a lot of times with gay men that don't even flirt with them, to be honest with you. And as someone who's on the end of my 30s, I'm like, it just. There are plenty of men and women that are just comfortable enough in their sexuality where they don't give a fuck, Especially niggas who, you know, a lot of men in sports and all kinds of shit. Like, they just don't. They can do that. Especially if you ain't black, didn't grow up in the hood. But like. Like. Cause I see white guys do that type of shit all the time, and nobody thinks anything about it. Like, they say, huh.

[Crystal]

I just assume everybody here is black.

[Risque]

No, I kind of want to, but.

[Crystal]

That'S an interesting point. Yeah. About white people. I didn't think of that.

[Risque]

Yeah. Like, they. But a lot of them, there's a line because sometimes it is like, okay, are you doing this because you think it's funny? Like, do you think the identity itself is funny? Do you think the expression is funny? Or are you just playing with somebody that you're cool with?

[Crystal]

Right. Both of y'all could be leos.

[Risque]

I have no response to that. Yeah.

[Crystal]

I mean, Leos will flirt with anything. So I. It could just be that they're both LEOs, and so they both love the attention and giving the attention and playing off of each other. That. I mean, I'm just saying. I'm throwing that out there, I think.

[Risque]

Or it could be that your friend played too much and your is not homophobic and don't care and has a good sense of humor, and that's really the end of it. If your man is not 100% straight, here's the thing. You're not going to be prosecuted for it. I don't think anyone at the gates of heaven will hold that against you. Like, then what?

[Crystal]

Oh, about her man. Oh, right. I mean, that's not even. My mind didn't even Go to, you know, whether he's actually bi or is he really gay?

[Risque]

He's probably not, but my thing is, if he is.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Okay, well, right, sure. I mean, he's lying about being 100% straight. In that case, if he actually is attracted to men, doesn't mean he's not also attracted to you, but.

[Risque]

Right. This is so young.

[Crystal]

Well, yeah, I think, honestly, when you talk to Jacob and Jacob said he would chill and that he understood, I think the problem would very naturally solve itself.

[Risque]

Right. But now the problem is that your nigga doesn't have a problem with it too. So now he's.

[Crystal]

Suspense. Yes. Right. Cause I mean, it would be different if you ask.

[Risque]

That don't make no sense, love.

[Crystal]

But. Right. So if she had told Jacob to chill, Jacob agreed he was gonna chill, and then y'all all got together again, and your man started flirting with Jacob. That would be different, because then it's him initiating it. So maybe then you could be like, yeah, I don't like you initiating flirtation, but if my friend is jokingly flirting with you, I don't have an issue. I don't have an issue with you buying candles. I don't have an issue with y'all playfully flirting like that. Don't.

[Risque]

He shouldn't. He shouldn't be like, I disagree with you, and I'm gonna continue doing it. That's disrespectful.

[Crystal]

Right, right, right.

[Risque]

But if he's also of the same mind as your friend, which is like, okay, cool. That you don't like it, you know, we'll stop, but let's unpack. Why.

[Crystal]

Yes. Right. We can talk about. Yes. And that's a conversation that we can have without anybody blowing up or calling somebody out their name or. I mean, hopefully y'all are young, but I. The only thing your man said that I didn't like is when he said, you know, there's no chance that. Or basically, what? Where is it? He claimed it doesn't count because he's 100% straight and says there's no chance he would do anything with Jacob. So I should think it's harmless as well. Don't tell me that because you think something. Right? This is your justification for how you feel. Therefore, it should be my justification for how I feel. No, you don't get to tell me what I think is harmless because of why you think it's harmless. I have my feelings for my reasons, so you can right off with that. But, yeah, otherwise, you know, I don't. Yeah. I don't necessarily. I don't. I don't. You have a slew of questions here at the end. Do I think he's queer baiting? No again, unless. Is your man the boyfriend? Right. Is your boyfriend queerbaiting? I don't think so.

[Risque]

If the friend initiated it, no again.

[Crystal]

Is Leo prominent in his chart? You need to know the answer.

[Risque]

Does he come over in, like, a slingshot string bikini?

[Crystal]

Right? Is he? Is he? I don't think so. Are you possibly worrying about.

[Risque]

Don't gray telfar sweats with no draw? Like, what's it giving?

[Crystal]

You may be being overly possessive because you're new in a relationship. Maybe. Or maybe that's natural. I mean, and honestly, there are a lot of people who do not want to see their partner flirt with others harmlessly or nothing. Innocently or not, Right? So if you don't like it, then you just don't like it. The idea that you should.

[Risque]

The only reason so many gay niggas get away with that is because there is this idea that. Oh, well, nothing.

[Crystal]

It don't mean nothing. Yeah. So the fact that you talk to your friend. Honestly, I don't even know that I would have sat Sean down and said nothing because I would have handled it with my friend. He's the one who flirts.

[Risque]

I agree.

[Crystal]

And he agreed to chill, so I would have left it at that. So I don't necessarily think you need to break up with this nigga, but if he keeps trying to tell you that you shouldn't feel the way you feel because of whatever reason, you should think it's harmless because he thinks it's timeless. Fuck that. He should be able to explain his feelings and his beliefs without invalidating yours. And you may come to the conclusion. To the conclusion through conversation like, oh, I am tripping. Or no.

[Risque]

And I agree with what he said.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Risque]

And I still don't. And I still, like, feel. First of all, I understand how you arrived at your feelings. So it wouldn't even make sense for me to try and invalidate them. But, like, aside from that, you are allowed to feel how you feel about a certain thing. And he can't say, well, I feel this way about it because of this logic. And so you should, too. That's not off. That makes no sense.

[Crystal]

Yeah, right. Off with that. But, yeah, girly pop. Otherwise, I don't know. Best of. Best of luck to y'all. But I don't think this is. Yeah, this doesn't necessarily have to be some terrible thing, but I'm also not big on Jealousy. Because I will just leave. I don't get threatened. I don't get threatened by my partner flirtatiously playing around with other people. Because we both know that if you step out, I'm out of here.

[Risque]

So let me tell you something.

[Crystal]

There's no reason for me to get revved up.

[Risque]

You barely can step in. Because let me tell you something. He has his towels, I have hers towels. He has his side of the bed. I have both sides of the. That was a funny TikTok.

[Crystal]

There's so many. Okay. Yeah. Best of luck, Annie. Let us know how it goes. If you have a question for us, send it on over to AskTheRead gmail.com. we're going to take another quick break and then be right back.

[Risque]

Hey, y'all. I don't know about you, but maybe this dating app fatigue thing the Internet is talking about is real. Because I'm tired from swiping this way to that way. How many likes are too many likes? Is. Is that the bubble you tap? Should I send a message? I'm nervous. Oh, they sent a message. It's two words. Well, I don't know how to respond to that. It's too much. It's too much. And a lot of dating apps are all about pursuing someone else. But there's one that's carved out a space for you to find yourself. Field on field, an app where curious people come to connect. You have the breathing room to explore your own desires and go on a journey wherein the person you discover is yourself, you, friend. Because if you can't love on you, if you can't know all about you, if you can't get into you, how anybody else supposed to, right? On field, you have options, maybe more than you even think. With 20 plus sexuality and gender identities to choose from, you have the freedom to explore who you are and what you like in ways that you've never even imagined. Plus, there's no pressure to swipe. If you happen to skip someone's profile, you can always go back or undo a dislike, all at no extra cost. If you're looking for friends, connections, all kinds of things and all kinds of forms, field is the place to do it. So download field. That's f e e l d, get it on the app store or google play. Go have some fun. Meet yourself and maybe someone fun.

[Kid Fury]

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nelson report.

[Risque]

Okay, folks, we're back. It's time for the read. You can start.

[Crystal]

Okay. Well, it's been quite the week. Last week I mentioned a list of celebrities who were performing at.

[Risque]

Trump Bowl.

[Crystal]

That little. Right, that little party y'all had on Monday, Bitcoin ball. And yeah, it turns out that Snoop is actually not the nigga he was even just eight years ago. What exactly changed? I don't know. I've seen a lot of tiktoks that are saying that he and Nelly both did it because they are associated with Diddy in some way and they gonna be looking for pardons. I don't know. I don't know. But shout out to Kelly Rowland who would not allow Nelly to perform Dilemma. And so he was stuck not being able to do one of his absolute biggest hits because Kelly said that and you. And we're adding to the list of the use today. Other celebrities who were at the inauguration include John Voight, Wayne Gretzky, Mike Tyson, Conor McGregor, Jake Paul. I mean, some of these you just assume were gonna be there anyway. Yeah. Rascal Flex, Jason Aldine, Gavin Degr, those we all knew. I will say the one who surprised me and I don't know why was Vince Vaughn really. Vince Vaughn was at the fucking inauguration.

[Risque]

No, I mean really, that surprised me.

[Crystal]

I don't know why. I guess I've just always, you know, I don't. I guess I don't keep up with him at all outside of his acting roles. But he just kind of always gave me kind of overgrown, oafish, lovable dumb guy like almost said like Chris the lovable part.

[Risque]

I never got like a big dumb dick. I agree with the other adjectives.

[Crystal]

Okay, well, just so y'all know, there is no hiding or excusing this type of the fact that y'all feel more emboldened now like you. It's actually to me like a list of who probably did actually feel this way even back then and only now feel brave enough to come up and say something. I don't really know. But it's a continuous to all of y'all. Well, Rob Schneider, I've been knew as a he been ranting online about liberals and all this for a while. So Elon got up there and did the Heil Hitler. That Straight up. Got up there and did a knock sissalute twice, baby.

[Risque]

Like, not even. Ah.

[Crystal]

Did it once and then turned around and did it again. He was like, make sure y'all get it from all angles, nigga. Yeah, Straight from me to you. And I. I really.

[Risque]

That one.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She been weird. She started that whole fucking heteronormative Hallmark movie channel. Did you know about this?

[Risque]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

So, you know, fuck DJ Tanner, but never liked her. So after Elon did this Hitler move, wouldn't you know that all these people scrambled online to try to defend it or justify it or say that what we saw is not what we actually saw? Very Orwellian. And that includes the American Defamation League, who has historically champion the causes of, you know, Jewish people and called out anti Semitism very easily and very readily when any body else does it. Y'all piped up real loud and fast to talk about Kanye, to talk about Kyrie. And I agree with you when you did those things, because you was not wrong. But after you saw Elon straight up call upon his nigga Hitler, y'all got onto Twitter and wrote, this is a delicate moment. You think it's a new day, and yet so many are on edge. Our politics are inflamed, and social media only adds to the anxiety.

[Risque]

I disagree. I mean, I. I agree with the.

[Crystal]

It seems that Elon Musk made an awkward gesture in a moment of enthusiasm, not a Nazi salute twice. But again, we appreciate that people are on edge in this moment. All sides should give one another a bit of grace, perhaps even the benefit of the doubt, and take a breath. This is a new beginning. Let's hope for healing and work toward unity in the months and years ahead.

[Risque]

Sent from cybertruck. It says that. Shut the.

[Crystal]

Like what, baby, baby?

[Risque]

It was like, what Kanye and Kyrie.

[Crystal]

Repeated old that has been passed down through barbershops and corners for the past 60 years. And y'all, like, literally. And y'all was ready to set them ablaze. And yet Elon actually does a Nazi salute. And we get this. So AOC called them out and was like, everybody knows exactly who y'all are now. Like, there's no more pretense. And I want to know, you know, where are the rest of the. Where are the rest of the Jewish people who were so quick to say something and call out somebody else and accuse them of being anti, anti Semitic after y'all decided to start, you know, trying to exterminate the Palestinians and Amy Schumer and Deborah Messing was all over Instagram talking about how it's their birthright to kill brown people and Muslims. Where. Where are y'all now? Where are all the famous white Jews who have had so much to say? And why are y'all not cussing out Elon the way y'all did? Any. Anybody else, especially somebody black, for doing things that you perceive to be anti Semitic, whether they are or. Or are not. I'm. I'm waiting because y'all had a lot to say when people were like, I'm seeing pictures of Palestinian babies whose heads have been blown off. I feel like something's not right. Jamie Lee Curtis. Hello, girl gal. Gal Gadot. Where are you? Ms. IDF? I think for a lot of us, we are going to learn the difference starting right now between Jewish people who happen to be white and white people who happen to be Jewish. Because a lot of y'all see this very blatant anti Jewish act done right in front of your faces on a global fucking stage. And you're choosing the white supremacy of this presidency over it. Because you know that Musk is really the one behind this presidency. You know that. And y'all simply will not call him out because you're about the white supremacist power structure. You're not about the liberation of the Jews. You're white and you happen to be Jewish and you cling on to it to coast you through absolutely. What the ever you want that to mean. Y'all started running ads about anti Semitic sentiments being up, you know, 88% or some shit. Turns out most of that was people just saying free Palestine. Y'all ran ads on national television during football games. So you know it's expensive as every last living fuck to claim discrimination that's not even actually happening because you're white first and foremost and you're going to suck that white titty until it's dry. And you know that about yourself. So all you Jews who claim to care so much about your Jews and, and the Jew of it all, I need to see you cussing Elon out the same way you would any body else for doing that exact same goddamn thing. And if you don't, I know which side you on. Pathetic little stupid ass bitch. I'm done.

[Risque]

I think Drake should probably say something.

[Crystal]

I mean, I mean, come on, all the prominent Jews, ain't I? I mean, I have not heard from Nan one of y'all, not one. Where you at? Because y'all have had plenty to say since October before last. So now what? Where y'all at? I want to hear it doing See Heil right in front of everybody. It was insane to see on a global stage a. The whole world is watching. And if you look at media outside of America, they're calling it what it is.

[Risque]

I live on a sitcom planet in.

[Crystal]

In this. In the dumbest, corniest country of the entire sitcom planet.

[Risque]

Yeah, we're upn.

[Crystal]

We're. You know, we're good Times.

[Risque]

After James died, UPN was great.

[Crystal]

No, we're. We're. We're. We're Family Matters in them last few seasons.

[Risque]

Okay, thank you for saying last few seasons, because I really need to.

[Crystal]

It wasn't the whole time. It wasn't the whole time. But when Urkel started running the show, just like when JJ Started running the show on Good Times, it got into coonery and dumbassery.

[Risque]

There were a lot of clownery that was just like, okay, this is stupid. But it was also like, if they were white people, you would have just called it Big Bang Theory and gave them 18,000 Emmys.

[Crystal]

I mean, that's America in a fucking nutshell.

[Risque]

But I rewatched the first season of Family Matters when I came back from Christmas. Bitch. The first episode is where Mother Winslow's moving in.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God.

[Risque]

And the opening scene is Carl trying to convince Harriet to change her mind about letting Mother Winslow move in. Because she's like, I know. She's gonna move in and take over and ruin all our lives. And he tries to come up with, like, all these excuses. And Harriet is like, no, we're not gonna make her live with your brother. Blah, blah, blah. She goes to the kitchen. Carl's like, okay, I got another idea. Goes into the kitchen with her, and he goes, how about we just move to Miami? She hates bugs. When I tell you that I screamed a scream. Hold on. I have to, like. I have to post.

[Crystal]

You can post it.

[Risque]

I screamed so loud. I had just come back from Miami, too.

[Crystal]

Mm. So you knew the bugs were fresh on your mind. That's how I feel when I watch Young Sheldon. Because it's shot. It's placed in. Not shot, placed in North Texas. And it is. North Texas is so similar to Oklahoma. And they make jokes about Oklahoma that Texans do actually make. So every time they do that, they say something Texan or something that reminds me of, like, I. I fully get what you're saying. I do. Which is why I said them later seasons is when it really. After you jump the shark, that's where.

[Risque]

We are Last two, especially where for.

[Crystal]

Not I will be waiting for all You Jews to. To speak up and denounce Elon.

[Risque]

They still had some good jokes, because you have to keep in mind this was a. Primarily a black cast, and them were just funny.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Risque]

But it was also like. It was basically a Disney show. It was abc.

[Crystal]

I mean, it was tgif, sure. So a certain amount of corniness was always there. Full House was corny as fuck. All of them were. Kids love corny shit.

[Risque]

Full House was almost unwatchable some of them episodes. Remember when. When Stephanie had, like, a house party or whatever, she had on, like, that polka dodger or some shit and was, like, dancing like Kris Kross?

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah. Yes. I think that was her birthday party or something with her little dance troupe. Yeah, well, you know, they loved a moment like that for them kids to show off they towns. Uncle Jesse. Every time I hear the Rippers. Uncle Jesse and the Rippers performed with the Beach Boys.

[Risque]

Disgusting.

[Crystal]

That's way worse than, you know, Moesha and them rotating they have coming through the den. That was way more fun.

[Risque]

BoJack. Carson makes a lot of sense.

[Crystal]

Oh, man. You know, that's a series that I've seen, and it's excellent, and I don't know that I can ever watch it again.

[Risque]

I don't know.

[Crystal]

Heavy fuck, but it's real.

[Risque]

It's really.

[Crystal]

But Jesus Christ, that show. Okay, but I'm done, for real. But I'm waiting on you. I'm waiting on y'all to say something down there in the ghettos. I'm waiting.

[Risque]

I never even thought about that.

[Crystal]

I was just like, where y'all at? Because it was blatant.

[Risque]

Used to waking up and being like, oh, that is an extraordinary amount of insane just from one way or the next.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Risque]

But, yeah, let's see where y'all really stand. An incredibly, incredibly, incredibly, incredibly powerful person. Yeah, that. I mean, I don't know how more blatant. Someone should say something.

[Crystal]

Somebody should do something.

[Risque]

Someone should.

[Crystal]

And the nation's top, you know, supposed to be the top organization for fighting Jewish hate. Sid. Let's all take a breath.

[Risque]

I mean, we should take a breath.

[Crystal]

I mean, but listening to y'all, you would think Kyrie Irving was a bigger threat than Elon Musk. So that'll be the last time I pay attention to y'all. I'll be making, you know, decisions without your. I am. All right, let's wrap this up so I can get back on TikTok.

[Risque]

This week. I want to talk about an experience that I had while watching Saturday Night Live this past Weekend.

[Crystal]

Oh.

[Risque]

It was hosted by Dave Chappelle. The musical guest was Glorilla.

[Crystal]

Dave shook it.

[Risque]

It was the 50th anniversary, first episode of the season.

[Crystal]

Oh, okay.

[Risque]

I had no intention of watching this. I hopped on Peacock to watch the traitors with my sweet green. And I saw that SNL was live and Glorilla was performing. And I was like, all right. So I went over and clicked to watch snl.

[Crystal]

I would have to. You would have got me with Glorilla.

[Risque]

And a. And 8.

[Crystal]

You would have got me. I'm sorry.

[Risque]

And a. Black girls. Black femmes. You've always been the recipe. Always been the recipe. Okay. Braids, bobos, gum, po. Hoop earrings, bamboo, acrylic. Like, whatever. Whatever your flavor, whatever. A knot in the style of bantu. You bitches have always been the ingredients. Ugh. I was so proud to see her up there doing her goddamn thing. Opening up 50th anniversary of, like, the biggest, most famous comedy show.

[Crystal]

One of the longest running TV shows, if not the longest running TV show possibly.

[Risque]

Yeah. So Deschebel hosted, but interestingly enough, my read is not about him.

[Crystal]

Oh.

[Risque]

It's about something that took place in between the. The show and a portion of television they call commercial. Advertisement. Commercials.

[Crystal]

Okay. Yep. Heard of them.

[Risque]

Now. I realized this weekend that I have not watched commercials in a long time. Especially, like, live TV commercials. I have not. It's at least been over a year since I've watched commercials live. At least probably much longer than that.

[Crystal]

Because you don't have to watch nothing live no more. You can re. Watch everything. So.

[Risque]

Yeah, and ad block has been blocking. Girl, I don't. That's nothing.

[Crystal]

Got you.

[Risque]

Okay, so like, even YouTube ads.

[Crystal]

Oh, no. I do pay for the premium YouTube. I won't. I can't abide. I can't abide ads on YouTube. But everything like my DVR, baby, that's what it was made for. To zoomy, zoom right through. You know, them stool softeners or whatever.

[Risque]

Have you heard of a drug called Jardians?

[Crystal]

Yes, I have. I've seen a commercial for that, but I. My TV is on cable a lot, so I do actually end up seeing commercials just as background noise.

[Risque]

I was watching Saturday Night Live. Glorilla had just finished performing. Great set. Fades black. Fade up. I see a rather round black woman.

[Crystal]

Oh, no.

[Risque]

Enter a supermarket. Oh, no. And she begins to sing about having type 2 diabetes.

[Crystal]

I have seen this.

[Risque]

She's pushing a grocery store, a grocery cart with her gay white husband and her mixed daughter. And she Is performing musical theater in a grocery store because this medication has allegedly helped her with her type 2 diabetes. None of it felt tongue in cheek. It never felt winky winky. Isn't this fucking stupid? It was really this fat black lady singing about being diabetic and having medication for it. I'm talking about the seafood section opening up.

[Crystal]

Yes, it does.

[Risque]

With a vanity pulling out and like a mic dropping down like a From the block performance. It was insane. She goes through the frozen food section at one point and they're just talking about how the side effects could include infections, life threatening infections around the genitals and anus. And this lady is just cheesing the whole time as she grabs some oat milk. I am floored. Like, I'm floored. I'm.

[Crystal]

Yeah. That is the ad. I am like, that absolutely is the ad.

[Risque]

I realized, you know what? At this age, I know what I like. Video games. Chicken.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah. Weed for sure.

[Risque]

Anime dick. Depending on the season.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Risque]

I have. I've realized I've fashioned my life where. Those are the notifications I get.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Risque]

That's the. Those are the streams that I am. You know, that's where I'm at.

[Crystal]

Yeah. So you don't have diabetes. Why Jardian.

[Risque]

And hopefully won't.

[Crystal]

Right? Sure. So.

[Risque]

But even if I did, I don't know that I would want a Medicare. First of all, seeing Ozempic ads on. On the television.

[Crystal]

It's weird.

[Risque]

Am I Kimmy Schmidt? I am. I was like, girl, I have not been a part of this for some time. But there was just something about. It was like I was. I thought I. I had to call Destin to make sure that I was like. To like ground myself and make sure that I wasn't losing my mind.

[Crystal]

All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Risque]

I was like, why don't I know about this? It is so stupid. Nobody. This is this really happening? This is like 1998 stand up comedy fodder.

[Crystal]

It's like, it's not great.

[Risque]

Why is this happening to me? But it wasn't even like, that's where I really. Thankfully it was the end of the show and I didn't have to really be involved with any of that much longer. Once it came back from commercial, Dave was up there with Glorilla and the cast and they said their thank yous and sent me to bed. Bitch. But like all the commercials before that, there were so many of them. Like, you know, I don't remember if it's Virgin or Atlanta. One of Them airline commercials that has like. Like the non binary at a flight attendant and like, the bush lesbian in Comfort plus or whatever. And like the Asian granny who has a black adopted niece. It's just like, very, like, inclusive, but, like, beats you over the head with inclusivity type act and then that and then Ozempic.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Risque]

I'm like, oh, this is what all of the fat landlocked state. Like, this is what y'all watch every day in between Matlock or whatever. And they knew Matlock.

[Crystal]

Matlock is great. Oh, you haven't seen it? Oh, nigga, you need it.

[Risque]

I know it's a woman. Matlock's not just a whole ass.

[Crystal]

The woman.

[Risque]

No, the woman. Right, But I have it.

[Crystal]

Like, you need to see it.

[Risque]

Watch list.

[Crystal]

You need to see it.

[Risque]

Watch list. I saw the trailer and was like, I've never needed something I didn't know I needed. Like, this.

[Crystal]

You do. You need it.

[Risque]

And I will be watching. And I will also be looking out for any. Any misogynistic hate that I can just.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch the. Watch the trailer. I mean, not the trailer. Watch the first episode. Watch that pilot. That pilot's gonna blow your mind. Oh, is going to secure your wig. Hold your dick is so good.

[Risque]

I have to show you because I recorded my reaction to this, like, the end of this commercial, because again, I want you to know I was very, very high and I had just. I was actually in the middle of eating my sweet green, so I even had spinach in my teeth, which is probably a part of the reason why I won't share this. I looked overall ugly, just. Just hideous. But I had to record this because I remember. I've talked about this on the podcast. I remember that Patti LaBelle One Touch commercial that had two versions, and I heard this one version of it that my friends never heard and tried to tell me didn't exist until I found it like a decade later. So I was like, oh, no, this won't happen again. This won't happen again. I'm recording myself. Like, it's on YouTube.

[Crystal]

You don't have to worry.

[Risque]

Yeah, no, it is.

[Crystal]

You won't be gaslit.

[Risque]

I didn't know that while I was watching it.

[Crystal]

You thought, this has got to be some sort of sketch. Like, it ain't no way this is real.

[Risque]

These days, the dollar just doesn't go as far.

[Crystal]

Not your dying laughing. Okay. No, you're literally crying.

[Risque]

I was in pain. No, see, I had to say. I took to Advil. No, you did I swear to God.

[Crystal]

Okay, yeah. This commercial really blew your mind? Because honestly, of all the commercials I see on a record, it don't even register as that crazy. It really don't.

[Risque]

It's. It was all them.

[Crystal]

All them diabetes, semaglutide, Ozempic, the whatever else. It's like nine weight loss medications. They all look like that.

[Risque]

Hold on. This is when it came back from commercial. You have to say you're not.

[Crystal]

Well. Look at you.

[Risque]

How long have these commercials been happening to y'all?

[Crystal]

Tell us.

[Risque]

Watch, watch, watch these. David Lynch.

[Crystal]

What? David Lynch.

[Risque]

Because he came up on the bat. Like, when they came back for commercial and showed David Lynch's face. David L. And Rip.

[Crystal]

I thought you were blaming him for the commercial. Like, no.

[Risque]

The funniest part of the clip is his face came makeup. And I already had tears down my face, so I looked genuinely sad. No, because I look so ugly.

[Crystal]

You don't. You don't.

[Risque]

It was unbelievable that I laughed not only hard. I laughed so hard for so long that I took painkillers because my head hurt.

[Crystal]

That. That.

[Risque]

Well, and I was watching.

[Crystal]

You're probably a little dehydrated.

[Risque]

50Th anniversary of Saturday Night Live, and the thing that bust me into tears and violence was a diabetes commercial.

[Crystal]

Yeah. You were high.

[Risque]

I wasn't just high. I was not just. Well, I was. But it's like, it was that I was high. It was that I have not watched commercials, like, in a long, long time. And I was like, that was the last straw for me. That was the last straw for me after seeing the. It was like that one. It wasn't even Ozempic. Like, Ozempic got about three half sisters, a couple of cousins on their daddy's side, and niggas they don't talk to from the other one.

[Crystal]

So many of them, it's so like.

[Risque]

Just right there up on the tv. Nobody fat in a commercial. Nobody wants fat in a.

[Crystal]

Like, all of these are supposed to be diabetes medications. Just. Y'all are also taking them to lose weight.

[Risque]

But they wouldn't say it. It was like. The only reason I realized what it even was is because how they described it in the end, the like. Or maybe they said weight management medicine. I don't remember. Whatever they.

[Crystal]

Yeah. However they.

[Risque]

They say it, in a word that had nothing to do with diabetes.

[Crystal]

Well, welcome to American healthcare. Please. Ozempic is not flying off the shelves because of diabetes. Y'all want to be skinny very bad. That's all that is. I.

[Risque]

I almost had Like a mental breakdown.

[Crystal]

Wow.

[Risque]

I was like, I know that I keep myself locked up. And now I know it's for good fucking reason.

[Crystal]

Wow. Yeah. Because this really had an effect on me.

[Risque]

Why would they do that?

[Crystal]

I've seen.

[Risque]

And then they gonna have her fat ass say the little pill with a big story to tell. And then I went. When I, you know, looked it up on YouTube. It's one with a white lady. It's one with like. It's like a Latina sister.

[Crystal]

That's what I'm telling you. I've seen so many of these.

[Risque]

But it's only the black lady who went to the grocery store, the white lady at the office. And then she's like.

[Crystal]

But she's getting healthy groceries because she's managing her type 2 diabetes with diet, exercise and Jordan.

[Risque]

That was the dumbest shit that I had ever seen.

[Crystal]

Sorry. Sorry.

[Risque]

And I laughed until I thought I was going to die.

[Crystal]

Sorry. It is what it is. Do you know I didn't know who David lynch was till he died.

[Risque]

Really?

[Crystal]

Yes. All these people were so sad. I'm like, who is this man?

[Risque]

Then I looked like three of his movies. Cause I. I don't know, I guess I had this fly my night. Thought that oh, maybe one day I'll direct something. And I bought three of his movies. Two that are my favorite and one that I haven't seen before. And then the next day he was dead.

[Crystal]

I. Oh wow. The timing on that is insane. I looked up his Wikipedia. I had never once seen any movie or TV show that he had done. Read his books. Nothing. Like not a single one of them.

[Risque]

That makes sense.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I've never seen Elephant Man, Mulholland Drive. I've never seen Twin Peaks. None of this I don't do. I've never even seen Dunes.

[Risque]

Movies you'd like so you could do Dune.

[Crystal]

But everybody was so sad. So I was like, oh damn, let me look it up.

[Risque]

This is an amazing filmmaker.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I don't be tapped into white culture like that, but it seems like it. It seems like he was a nice man in addition to being very talented. Talented. So yeah, sorry for Yalls loss and sorry.

[Risque]

Watched Blue Velvet last night.

[Crystal]

Sorry for you that you were subjected to advertising.

[Risque]

This is what it is.

[Crystal]

Pretty bad, I guess. Oh, all right. Well, that will wrap up this week's episode of the Read. Check us out on social media at this is the Read. You can find our merch [e-mail]. you can get tickets to our 12 year anniversary show at the readlive.com we will be at the Beacon Theater in New York City on Saturday, February 15th. Very, very excited to see all of you who are coming. Those of you who have the VIP tickets, excited to hang out with you guys and do fun things. Maybe we'll play a game. Maybe we'll play Simon says or something. Who knows? Who knows? It'll be a fun time for all. Yes.

[Risque]

We were not gonna play Simon says.

[Crystal]

You never know. We can play red light, green light. We could play heads down, thumbs up. It's time to play seven it so many things.

[Risque]

So nobody is going to.

[Crystal]

We might. You. You never know. So yes, the read live.com I know.

[Risque]

But no one.

[Crystal]

All right, what else?

[Risque]

What else?

[Crystal]

Any other announcements from you this week, my friend?

[Risque]

No. All of the above. Follow me on patreon.com Kid Fury and we'll see you next week.

[Crystal]

All right, girls. Bye.