No More Parents For Me, Thanks. I'm Full.

Summary

Podcast Summary: "No More Parents For Me, Thanks. I'm Full." – The Read by Loud Speakers Network

Episode Information

• Title: No More Parents For Me, Thanks. I'm Full.
• Release Date: March 13, 2025
• Hosts: Raven Baxter and Melissa Smith
• Network: Loud Speakers Network
• Platforms: iTunes, iHeart Radio Talk, SoundCloud, Stitcher

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Introduction In this engaging episode of The Read, hosts Raven Baxter and Melissa Smith delve into a myriad of topics ranging from pop culture critiques to heartfelt listener letters. Balancing humor with sharp social commentary, the duo navigates through discussions about the challenges faced by black actors in Hollywood, the intricacies of modern parenting, and the dynamics of personal relationships.

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1. Exploring 'Number One on the Call Sheet' Documentary Raven and Melissa kick off the episode by discussing the Apple TV documentary "Number One on the Call Sheet," which spotlights black actors and actresses breaking into leading roles in film and television.

• Key Points:

  • Gender and Racial Disparities: The documentary highlights the significant pay gap and limited opportunities for black women compared to their male counterparts. Melissa notes, “Nia Long talking about how she just now got paid a million dollars for being in a movie two or three years ago, and The Rock is making like 80 million per movie or whatever” ([05:48]).
  • Shift Towards Production Roles: Many black stars are transitioning into directing, producing, and writing to create their own opportunities. Raven observes, “So bringing up that about Raven directing now made me think of that point that he made last night at the show that, like, so many of these icons are now moving into the space of production” ([05:48]).
  • Recognition and Awards: Despite critical acclaim, black women actors like Halle Berry and Whoopi Goldberg still face hurdles in securing top honors. Melissa poignantly states, “Halle Berry was like, still cannot believe that I am the only black woman to ever win Best Actress” ([05:48]).

• Notable Quote:

  • Melissa Smith at [06:04]: “It is insanity.”

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2. Pop Culture Insights and TV Show Discussions The hosts shift their focus to various television shows and movies, providing their take on the current landscape of entertainment.

• Key Topics:

  • Raven's Home: While Raven admits to not watching extensively, she praises the show's ability to intertwine the lives of Raven and her children, saying, “I was surprised that they tapped so much into both Raven's life and the kids' life” ([02:03]).
  • Ms. Pat's Show: They discuss Raven's directorial ventures, highlighting the show’s unique humor despite its problematic aspects. Melissa comments, “Ms. Pat is so problematic, but, like, in a way that I really love and fuck with adore” ([03:00]).
  • Win or Lose & Running Point: Both hosts share their enthusiasm for these shows available on Apple TV, with Melissa expressing excitement for Win or Lose and Raven catching up on Running Point.
  • Janelle Monae's Arch Android: Raven shares her excitement about Janelle Monae's graphic novel and potential adaptations, saying, “I believe I left a comment. I can't wait to see this as a feature film” ([12:00]).

• Notable Quotes:

  • Melissa Smith at [06:15]: “They went through the whole thing like it's a laundry list at this point of black women who have won Best Supporting Actress.”
  • Raven Baxter at [14:20]: “Imagine the creator of Star Wars making.”

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3. Hot Box: Pet Talk In the lighthearted segment known as the "Hot Box," Raven and Melissa discuss their pets, sharing amusing anecdotes and frustrations.

• Key Points:

  • Dog Food Preferences: Both hosts talk about their dogs' picky eating habits and the challenges of finding suitable food. Melissa shares her struggles with her dog Lainey's selective eating, stating, “Lainey is not that at all” ([51:08]).
  • Pet Care Routines: They exchange tips on ensuring their pets remain healthy and happy, including the use of human-grade wet food and nutritional supplements.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Raven Baxter at [51:16]: “I'm so excited for this. I'm so excited for this.”
  • Melissa Smith at [55:35]: “Stuff like mentorship, being involved in your community, maybe teaching, being a therapist, there are all sorts of jobs where you work with children directly and can have a huge impact.”

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4. Listener Letters

The Read thrives on its interactive format, with listeners sending in letters that the hosts address candidly and thoughtfully. This episode features two impactful letters from Ashley and Susanna.

• a. Ashley's Dilemma: Relationship and Desire for Children

  • Summary: Ashley, a fem lesbian, shares her struggles in a long-standing situationship with a stud. The core issue lies in her fear and uncertainty about having children, contrasting with her partner's strong desire to become a parent.

  • Discussion Highlights:

    • Melissa’s Advice: Emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and establishing firm boundaries. She suggests, “Speak to someone to just, I think, probably unpack your feelings on motherhood” ([64:53]).
    • Raven’s Insights: Recommends prioritizing personal desires over maintaining a relationship that doesn’t align with one's life goals. She states, “I think separate of the situation should talk to the lady” ([67:02]).

  • Notable Quotes:

    • Melissa Smith at [67:22]: “If you are unsure about children or don't want them, or you're like, I don't know, don't have that period.”
    • Raven Baxter at [66:07]: “This is hard, but you can do it.”

• b. Susanna's Struggle with a Toxic Family Environment

  • Summary: Susanna reveals her long-term experience as a caretaker for her family from the age of eight, leading to complex PTSD, depression, and a recent BPD diagnosis. Her attempts to confront her mother about her mental health issues have resulted in increased familial pressure and emotional manipulation, leaving her contemplating cutting off her family entirely.

  • Discussion Highlights:

    • Melissa’s Support: Urges Susanna to prioritize her well-being and seek independence, advising, “In every decision you make going forward, please think first and foremost about what you want” ([85:38]).
    • Raven’s Empathy: Validates Susanna’s feelings and stresses the importance of self-preservation, saying, “It's poisonous to experience that” ([82:31]).

  • Notable Quotes:

    • Melissa Smith at [85:35]: “You're disappointed in me? Only one of us, me up.”
    • Raven Baxter at [84:12]: “Why they making it your fault.”

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5. Continued Pop Culture Commentary After addressing listener letters, the hosts return to their trademark banter on various pop culture topics.

• Lady Gaga vs. Taylor Swift:

  • Discussion Points:

    • Artistry and Image: Raven praises Lady Gaga's elaborate performances and unique style, contrasting it with Taylor Swift's more traditional approach.
    • Cultural Impact: They critique how white artists like Taylor Swift are favored in mainstream media, despite broader talent pools.

  • Notable Quotes:

    • Raven Baxter at [94:13]: “Lady Gaga is the white woman that white people should have put on the deck when they were like, versus Beyoncé, not Taylor Swift.”
    • Melissa Smith at [97:10]: “Yes. And house labs is great too.”

• Mel Gibson's Gun Rights Controversy:

  • Discussion Points:

    • Legal and Ethical Issues: The hosts express disbelief at Mel Gibson's attorney's attempt to restore his gun rights by citing a fictitious ambassador role.
    • Corruption and Accountability: They condemn the manipulation and lack of proper rationale behind such legal maneuvers.

  • Notable Quotes:

    • Melissa Smith at [105:20]: “You cannot tell. And so the TikTok has been, when I tell you, dragging the fuck out of this girl, it's like, who Good?”
    • Raven Baxter at [106:49]: “Cause you're right because it's a conversation we've had.”

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Conclusion In this episode, The Read masterfully balances lighthearted pet talk and pop culture critiques with profound discussions on personal struggles shared by listeners. Raven Baxter and Melissa Smith provide a space where humor meets heartfelt advice, ensuring that listeners feel both entertained and supported.

• Final Remarks:

  • Shoutouts to Apple TV for screenings and promoting their Patreon for exclusive content.
  • Encouragement for listeners to engage via social media and send in their own letters for future episodes.

• Closing Quote:

  • Melissa Smith at [130:51]: “All right, girly pops. Goodbye.”

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Melissa Smith: “It is insanity.” ([06:04])
2. Raven Baxter: “Imagine the creator of Star Wars making.” ([14:20])
3. Melissa Smith: “We're just all going like, okay, all right, all right, all right, all right.” ([107:27])
4. Raven Baxter: “You don't owe them a goddamn thing.” ([91:13])
5. Melissa Smith: “You're gonna have to carry it illegally and go to prison.” ([105:20])

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Key Takeaways

• Representation Matters: The episode underscores the ongoing challenges black women face in Hollywood despite their talent and hard work.
• Personal Boundaries: Listener letters highlight the importance of setting and maintaining personal boundaries, especially in toxic relationships or family dynamics.
• Pop Culture Influence: Discussions on artists like Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift reveal insights into how media favors certain images and narratives over others.
• Mental Health Advocacy: The hosts advocate for mental health awareness and self-care, especially for those burdened by longstanding familial responsibilities.

The Read continues to provide a platform where difficult conversations are navigated with wit, empathy, and unwavering honesty, making it a staple for listeners seeking both entertainment and meaningful discourse.

Transcript

[Raven Baxter]

Happy day, Happy day. Well, hey there. How are you? Thank you so much for coming and joining us like this. It is so, so kind of you. Thank you for thinking of this. I'm Raven Baxter.

[Melissa Smith]

And I'm Melissa Smith. This is the read. Welcome back.

[Raven Baxter]

Yes, welcome indeed. I just took off one of my many disguises and left school to come in and do this because I actually have to get out of some trouble that I caused myself because of a vision that I saw Raven. That's what Raven was. Tea.

[Melissa Smith]

It was. It's really t. Raven really has one of those careers where you're like, God damn. Your whole life you have been in hit after hit after hit, like.

[Raven Baxter]

But you know something? She's incredibly funny. I don't know if it's because she. No, it isn't. Just because she's ridiculous. There's a lot of people who've been acting since they were kids and comedies and sitcoms that don't have the timing in the delivery that Raven does. And a lot of the people on that particular show. That's a Raven. Had incredible timing. I mean, her mom was on.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, I was gonna say. I was gonna say them parents were hilarious as well. Like the white girl.

[Raven Baxter]

Analise Vanderpoel.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, her. This is like an excellent cast, Chelsea.

[Raven Baxter]

Right? Excellent, excellent, excellent cast. And I didn't watch much of Raven's Home, but I always heard it was really, really good.

[Melissa Smith]

I loved Raven's Home. Oh, my God.

[Raven Baxter]

The few episodes I saw, I. I was surprised that they tapped so much into both Raven's life and the kids life because I kind of expected it to be more focused on the kids.

[Melissa Smith]

Raven is really, you know, who we came here to see.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah. She's so nice.

[Melissa Smith]

And Raven's fans are grown now with kids, A lot of them.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah. So, like, a lot of her storyline was really her being grown, being divorced.

[Melissa Smith]

Being divorced and moving in with her best friend whose baby daddy was in prison and raising these kids together. What?

[Raven Baxter]

This is so weird.

[Melissa Smith]

I love Raven's Home with the. You know, they had like the one little girl in the building who's like from Brooklyn or something.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

So she's like the tough one who plays basketball. Yeah, it was great. I loved Raven's Home.

[Raven Baxter]

It really was.

[Melissa Smith]

You know what?

[Raven Baxter]

I think she directs now.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, you know. Oh, my goodness.

[Raven Baxter]

So two things, cuz she directed like an episode of Ms. Pat's show and I was like, oh, yeah, brilliant. She should always be directing comedy.

[Melissa Smith]

Bet that show is hilarious. Okay. That show is very funny.

[Raven Baxter]

Incredibly stupid.

[Melissa Smith]

Ms. Pat is so problematic, but, like, in a way that I really love and fuck with adore.

[Raven Baxter]

Yes.

[Melissa Smith]

Because she's like, oh, yes. My daughter came out to me, and I was like, what is this bulldogging bullshit? Like, I love. Like, it's funny because she has grown from that place.

[Raven Baxter]

Yes.

[Melissa Smith]

It would not be funny if she still felt that way, obviously.

[Raven Baxter]

But.

[Melissa Smith]

So, first of all, I sometimes see videos of Chelsea and Kim Possible together. Those two white girls.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I can't remember her name.

[Melissa Smith]

I can't remember Kim Possible's real. Wait, Christy. Christy Carlson Romano. Yep, yep. I had to close my eyes and visualize them doing the Disney intros and stuff. Anyway, I see videos of them, too, sometimes doing stuff, and I'm just like, this takes me back to such a specific place to see you two white girls. Like, doing TikToks and shit is so funny.

[Raven Baxter]

But also, Chrisy has a podcast, I believe, and she's had a lot of Disney stars as guests and things.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, does she? Okay, fine.

[Raven Baxter]

That probably has a lot to do with it. Yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay. I love that.

[Raven Baxter]

It also takes me back to a specific time.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, but you mentioned Raven being a director, and I just saw last night Number One on the Call Sheet, which is a documentary that Apple TV is producing about black actors and actresses who, you know, finally made it to number one on the call sheet, meaning you're the star of the production. So I saw it's two parts. There's men and women's. I saw the women's one, and it was Whoopi Goldberg, Alfre Woodard. I mean, literally, you go down like our biggest stars in film and tv, Halle Berry, Taraji and Gabrielle Union. And anyway, one of the things they were talking about is how, like, first of all, in the Q and A afterwards, one of the producers was like, even, you know, though everybody has these similar struggles, like, with race. The men are raking in so much more money in the women. Like Nia Long talking about. About she just now got paid a million dollars for being in a movie two or three years ago, and the Rock is making, like, 80 million per movie or whatever. Anyway, there was that. But there was also the fact that, like, because we are not being welcomed into film and TV so easily, like, we have to fight so much. A lot of us are just doing it now, just directing and producing and writing and making our own shit. Because y'all act like a white girl simply has to play the heroine. She simply must be the love interest. Like, you write race into the role when it doesn't have to be there. So you bringing up that about Raven directing now made me think of that point that he made last night at the show that, like, so many of these icons are now moving into the space of production. Because why. Why do we. Halle Berry was like, still cannot believe that I am the only black woman to ever win Best Actress. And they went.

[Raven Baxter]

Insanity.

[Melissa Smith]

They went through the whole thing like it's a laundry list at this point of black women who have won Best supporting Actress. It's like, they'll give you that. They will give you best backup, but best main bitch, still so elusive. So anyway, it.

[Raven Baxter]

I.

[Melissa Smith]

This is not an ad, but watch that when it comes out later this month, because it was excellent. I can't wait to see the men's show. It's so good. It is so good. And Alfre Woodard was at the Q and A being hilarious.

[Raven Baxter]

I will start it. I will. I will get started. Because we watched. We watched Kingdom Come for our Patreon watch party last month, and I went on the longest rant about it, and I even went on a rant about it to myself again yesterday because I'm crazy.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay?

[Raven Baxter]

And Whoopi Goldberg is in that. And honestly, I think it's one of my favorite roles of hers ever. Even though if you've ever seen Kingdom Come, Whoopi probably has a total of, like, 15 lines.

[Melissa Smith]

I was gonna say, I barely remember her in it.

[Raven Baxter]

She barely speaks in the movie. That's kind of why she's so fierce. That whole movie is essentially about this guy dying, a patriarch of a family, and the family coming together for his funeral and stuff. And basically, you're watching the reverberations of how awful this man was for no living reason, and how everyone is kind of scrambling to deal with it and put on whatever face it is that they choose to wear. And Whoopi chose not to wear a face. Her character of the whole movie is like, I love that man, but I definitely didn't like him. He was mean. He was surly. And how long does this have to take?

[Melissa Smith]

That was her wrap it up.

[Raven Baxter]

Her whole messaging for the whole. It is just. It's very beautifully done.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah.

[Raven Baxter]

And then after we were done with that, we watched a scene from Beauty Shop. And you know Alfre Woodard is in Beauty Shop.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes, she is.

[Raven Baxter]

And that woman. I started with her. I'm like, you can't. Don't say nothing to me about that lady.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah. And she's from Tulsa, so you really can't Say nothing to me about her.

[Raven Baxter]

It is like. It is absolutely unfathomable. And it is a bit criminal that we have so many. We have so many people that we know to be icons. It's like we celebrate them.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yeah.

[Raven Baxter]

And I think Alfrey has gotten some. Something the other day.

[Melissa Smith]

She's not saying flowers, but, you know, she's not celebrated. And I don't think she gets that level of. You know, some people are just primarily black famous. And so it's. It's like despite the talent, despite the resume, they simply are not accepted by, you know, the dominant culture. The way we embrace their stars.

[Raven Baxter]

So truthfully.

[Melissa Smith]

Cause how many black people, you know, stand Meryl Streep? Like, half of them can't say shit.

[Raven Baxter]

To us about that lady Julia Roberts. Like, black people love these people. But you give away Angela Bassett's award and she seems bummed and we have to talk about women's attitudes and specifically. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't even the Viola Davis conversation.

[Melissa Smith]

And she was in it too. Of course she was in the documentary. Yeah.

[Raven Baxter]

It's like, what more, um.

[Melissa Smith]

What. There. There's nothing more. Like, you have to black people, everybody, but especially black people and other marginalized artists. You really have to understand that you're the shit. You have to believe and accept that for yourself. Because outside validation is sometimey. It's fickle and it can come and go. So you really have to believe in yourself and your shit. You have to be strong about you and what you doing. Cause counting on these people to recognize your work and your efforts and your rewards. Once every blue moon, baby, there's a Halle Berry every now and then. And the rest of us.

[Raven Baxter]

And somebody told me, and I kind of believe this, someone told me that what they believe is gonna happen Oscar wise, is that for Wicked, Wicked for good, the second one, that they're gonna switch them around because Glinda has a little bit of a bigger. Of a role or music or something like that in the second half. And so they feel like they're gonna give Ariana that, you know, best Actor, Best Actress nomination and give Cynthia supporting.

[Melissa Smith]

I think, like, flip it. Yeah. Well, I think it's more likely they'll give Cynthia best Supporting, then they'll give Ariana Best Actress.

[Raven Baxter]

No, I mean, nomination wise.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yeah.

[Raven Baxter]

Flip the nominations around.

[Melissa Smith]

But that makes sense if Ariana is the lead of the second movie, right?

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah, no, I think that that might. You know, I'm agreeing, but I'm like I wouldn't gag if it's like, okay, Cynthia, here, you can have the supporting one.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, this is like, quite literally to your point. We're waiting for you to get into a category that we're cool with so that you can have your award. And all of you darkies can hush about not being included, because every year we give one of you one. So everybody calm down.

[Raven Baxter]

I think we should all calm down. I think we should all just calm down.

[Melissa Smith]

This year, it was.

[Raven Baxter]

We gave the guy who made the.

[Melissa Smith]

Fucking contest, and it was.

[Raven Baxter]

I don't understand.

[Melissa Smith]

Ms. Dominicana. What's her name? Zoeana. Now, see, I'm including Poc.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, okay.

[Melissa Smith]

She's very obviously colored, so I'm including her in this. They were like. And that's enough. Shut the goddamn door.

[Raven Baxter]

Get off. Okay. Black excellence this week for me is gonna go to Janelle Monae. Rather, it's gonna go to Cindy Mayweather, also known as Jane 57821 and the Arch Android, which is now coming to us as a graphic novel.

[Melissa Smith]

Yay.

[Raven Baxter]

The first chapter of the Ark Android graphic novel is set to arrive very soon. They premiered at blurredcon, which I still don't think I've ever been to, but I really have to go. And now that I've this, I feel like someone might reach out and be like, come on.

[Melissa Smith]

At blurcon, that feels right up your alley. That sounds like all of your interests in one spot.

[Raven Baxter]

Me and my people. Yeah. But the folks over at Blurt Alley, during this cool panel, got 800 copies that were underneath their chairs and stuff.

[Melissa Smith]

Nice.

[Raven Baxter]

So that was really cool. The comics is being written by Chuck Lightning starring Jane Cindy Mayweather herself. She had this really cool latex outfit on to do the shooting to, like, I guess, be the character on stage. I'm so excited for this. I'm so excited for this. The whole story of the Arch Android is so interesting, so compelling. It has so many themes that are still very, very, very prevalent, and I can't wait to experience it in more mediums than the music that I already have. I can't wait to read this. I. So I've said it on the podcast. I believe I left a comment. I can't wait to see this as a feature film.

[Melissa Smith]

You making sure everybody knows I wasn't the only one.

[Raven Baxter]

Everybody else was in the comments too, like, yes, please, in a movie. Next.

[Melissa Smith]

That's so exciting. Amazing.

[Raven Baxter]

And I think that that's really only a matter of time because Janelle is also a very good actor too, right?

[Melissa Smith]

She is I really do enjoy her acting.

[Raven Baxter]

So I think that she. It's probably just a matter of time, I think, before this gets fully, you know, turned into a number of things. It could be a fucking video game one day, but a graphic novel is a really, really cool star. I really can't wait to see how it's illustrated and how it's written and all of these different things. And, yes, I hope that one day it does become a big musical movie in theaters, maybe Lucas films, because I think she's friends with George Lucas.

[Melissa Smith]

Wow.

[Raven Baxter]

Imagine the creator of Star wars making.

[Melissa Smith]

The arc, just being able to text somebody like, hey, you want to make a movie right quick? Wow. No, that would be incredible. I love Janelle Monae. I love to see everything she does. Love to see her thrive. So great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she is.

[Raven Baxter]

Shout out to her in Wonderland. Excellent in black. And nerdy. Shout out to the black nerds. So many of which there are many who listen to this podcast. Now it's time for the Hot box. Speaking of nerdy things, I'm kind of loving this new Carmen Sandiego game now. I think it's a game for children.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

And that makes sense because, okay, I played quite a few of the Carmen San Diego games when I was a child.

[Melissa Smith]

Same them.

[Raven Baxter]

Little shitty and so, so shitty.

[Melissa Smith]

So shitty on that little floppy disk.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, bad, bad.

[Melissa Smith]

That and number munchers. Anyway, I'm getting off.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, my God, you remember number munchers. Yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

Or you had to, like, eat all the prime numbers or something. If you fucked up, that was your ass. Me and my brother used to fight over being able to play number munchers.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, my gosh. The good old days. Anyway, well, this new Carmen sand sand game, I didn't really know what to expect from it because I guess Carme Sando is, like, a good guy now.

[Melissa Smith]

What?

[Raven Baxter]

There's, like, a Netflix show where it's, like, follows her and she's a good guy and she fights vile.

[Melissa Smith]

No, I don't like that. She's supposed to be the villain. No, I don't like that.

[Raven Baxter]

She's the thief.

[Melissa Smith]

We're looking. Where in the world is coming. We're looking for her thieving ass.

[Raven Baxter]

We're looking for her.

[Melissa Smith]

She's the geography clues so that we know where in the world. What are you talking about?

[Raven Baxter]

So we know where she is. I don't.

[Melissa Smith]

What are you talking about? This can't.

[Raven Baxter]

That was my initial. Okay, I don't get.

[Melissa Smith]

I don't like that.

[Raven Baxter]

But whatever, it works for me anyway. I got my kicks out of it anyway because it still maintains the initial flow of the games that I remember. It's just you're not looking for her. She's looking for other people.

[Melissa Smith]

She's looking for other people. Yeah. Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

Well, yeah, but you still have to travel around the globe and you get little facts about different countries and continents and you have to follow the leads of oh yeah, this person was just here. And they said this, this and that. And then you also get like clues about the type of person, like what color hair they have, things that they're interested in, some things they're afraid of. And then something you have to like, go through your database and track down who it might be, then issue a warrant for them and then go find them. And it's a bunch of little missions like that.

[Melissa Smith]

Fun.

[Raven Baxter]

And it's just, it's been a lot of fun to take a break from hello Kitty Island Adventure. Oh, bits of that.

[Melissa Smith]

That one is also a. Is a good time. I did scroll through that Carmen San Diego game. It does look like it's for children.

[Raven Baxter]

But it's for sure for kids.

[Melissa Smith]

I also do love games that are for kids.

[Raven Baxter]

So I mean, we played Bluey and that was expressly for, you know, and.

[Melissa Smith]

I was just like.

[Raven Baxter]

And babies.

[Melissa Smith]

I'm. And I'm getting frustrated cuz I can't like fold the blanket or something. Like I'm getting like, I'm getting mad. Like I need to put this down. Okay. Yeah. Carmen Sandiego.

[Raven Baxter]

Okay, we'll start with this. So the Jane Doe in the I can't believe this is still going on. The Jane Doe in the Jay Z, Shawn Diddy, Puffy Combs accusation has apparently been recorded on tape allegedly admitting to lying about Jay Z in this tape. Va. Jane Doe is speaking. Pardon me, is speaking. And when asked, you know, about Jay Z's presence at this event or whatever, she said he was there, but that what she accused him of never took place. They asked her about it further, why she would make it up. She says pretty blatantly that her attorney Tony Busby pushed her into including Jay Z's name in the thing. Then ABC played a clip of her talking to Tony Busby. I guess after Tony Busby heard this recording and him saying, you know, like what? They're, they're saying that you. You saying that Jay Z didn't do this. And she's like, no, no, no, that's.

[Melissa Smith]

I never said that.

[Raven Baxter]

I never said that. And they're saying that I pressured you into bringing him up or whatever. And she's like, no, no. So she, of course, tells Tony that she never said that, even though we heard her say it.

[Melissa Smith]

Right.

[Raven Baxter]

So it's just like. Yeah, I don't. You kind of already alluded to, you know, this person may be having some struggles. Yeah, I think she might, but there you go with that. And I think we already talked about. I don't know if we talked about it, but Jay Z and his attorney are suing.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course they are. They're going, they're trying to disbar this man. And I mean, I don't, I can't imagine. I don't know. I don't know who to believe between her and her attorney. She's clearly telling her attorney something that isn't true. Unless he asked her that before she actually said it.

[Raven Baxter]

But like, it's, I mean, unless. It can't be right. Unless he asked her that before we heard it.

[Melissa Smith]

Right. Cause it's like, why would you say, well, you know, they said they have you on tape saying that you said this it if they hadn't already talked to her and like giving you the tape, you know, so it's like, yeah, but the whole thing, I saw that, I went and listened to the audio, I watched the interview with Jay Z's attorney. And on the one hand I'm like, I'm happy for him, for Sean Carter, obviously, to have your name cleared, to be accused of something so heinous and horrific. Like, I also would be extremely dedicated to clearing my name if somebody accused me of some shit like that. But like, like the anger that I feel at this attorney for I, like, they said like, like he's like the ambulance chaser type. The kinds that are just like going after whatever they think. And, and so somebody, a lot of somebody's have credible allegations against Diddy, and now here come all the ambulance chasers, like trying to round up other people and just kind of throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. But like, you're. By lumping in other people who don't have nothing to do with it, you and, and not making sure you investigate those claims beforehand. Like, this is the type of situation you create where the ripple effects for that man and his family exist. And then the issue of like the court of public opinion and people simply not believing victims, that problem also gets reinforced because it's like, it's like every time there's a story of somebody not being honest or somebody saying something for a check or for CL or whatever else, it's like, you really do a disservice to the people who actually are victims. And so if you manipulated this woman into filing all this and, and, and making these allegations and saying all that because you thought Jay Z was just going to sell out of court and you was going to get paid, you are the worst type of. We're talking about sexual assault of a teenage girl. Why would you even play with that?

[Raven Baxter]

Why would you even play?

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, how do y'all sleep at night? How do y'all sleep at night knowing that you doing shit like this, lying about some shit like that? My spirit would not let me be at rest.

[Raven Baxter]

I don't know.

[Melissa Smith]

You just gotta be some kind of soulless, cold ass heartless to orchestrate that kind of lie. It's just too serious. Regardless of whether the person is famous, it's too serious to play with shit like that. So I'm pretty disgusted. But I guess, you know, we'll see how it all eventually plays out. But I think Jay Z can go ahead and shut the door on this and let his attorneys handle the rest. What an absolute fucking nightmare. Yeah. I would be like, you niggas tried me. See, the problem would be keeping me from going live on Instagram and being like, now everybody who has something to say, that would be my problem.

[Raven Baxter]

I think your lawyer will probably be like, please, I'm gonna need you to not do that, whatever it is.

[Melissa Smith]

Cause it's not settled. So please don't do that. It's not completely settled. We're suing them.

[Raven Baxter]

So we understand. But fully, I would do it too. Just don't do it right now.

[Melissa Smith]

They be like, you're almost 60 years old. Please don't go live on TikTok to be like, all you hating ass bitches come stitch this. Like, no, girl, please, please. Y, that would be. That would be me.

[Raven Baxter]

Speaking of nightmares, Tory Lanez apparently has an album out. Like a new one.

[Melissa Smith]

Absolutely not.

[Raven Baxter]

Okay.

[Melissa Smith]

No.

[Raven Baxter]

It sounds like he's in prison. I listened to one of these songs. Yeah. Cuz it's relevant to the story.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

On this new song, Peters, I mean, this new album, Peterson, Tory Lanez has a song called Verdict Day. And on the song, if you can hear it, he basically accuses his former attorney, Sean Holly of colluding with Roc Nation behind his back and being paid off by Megan Pete in order to secure him a spot in prison. Again, daystar is accusing his own lawyer, Sean Holly, of secretly working with Roc Nation and being paid by Megan Thee Stallion in order to put him in Jail his representation.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay, okay. All right.

[Raven Baxter]

So that's a fun one. A fun one for his fans to have a ball with now. All right, new conspiracy theory. I'm gonna go ahead and guess what happened is that you shot that woman and the evidence showed it, and so they locked you up. That. That's just what I've been. Been working with.

[Melissa Smith]

Didn't want to say it, but it can't be the lawyer's fault more than it's your fault for shooting her.

[Raven Baxter]

Bam.

[Melissa Smith]

Had you not shot her, we wouldn't be here. So. Yeah, I mean, that also just sounds ridiculous and like you just throwing the blame wherever you can, just trying to stick wherever it might land, but, girl, okay, I'm not listening to your jailhouse rock. I really don't care what kind of. Of little ghetto contraption you had to go in there and rig up and record an album in the middle of a half empty toilet bowl. Bitch, I don't care. I'm not listening to that bullshit. So you could talk about what? How you really, really didn't do it? How it really was Kelsey. No, it really was the lawyer. No, really. Megan shot herself. No, really. God shot her. No, really. It was the bodyguard. Girl, get out my face.

[Raven Baxter]

Like, there ain't nothing else to talk about. I know you can make a song about that food. There has to be like, a whole.

[Melissa Smith]

Shouldn't you be in more trouble for. For putting an album out? Like, how is this not against the rules? I feel like it should be. I feel like.

[Raven Baxter]

I feel like it should be against the rules.

[Melissa Smith]

I feel like jail. Should include the 10 years in prison. Should include no more of this. How did you even. You clearly broke some rules in order to be able to record this, Right? Unless you just. Did you literally record it on the.

[Raven Baxter]

Phone you called Zoom in the toilet.

[Melissa Smith]

That's what I'm saying. It's a zoom or something. Get that extra time. Just go to jail. You know good and damn well you shot that girl. Just go to jail.

[Raven Baxter]

Have you watched Win or Lose?

[Melissa Smith]

I started it and then I had to turn it off, so I haven't. But it does look good. I'm excited.

[Raven Baxter]

Okay, well, then I'll wait.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay, I. I'll watch it by next. Wait, the whole thing or just like the first?

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, some of it.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay. Because it says a season, but I'm not sure how many episodes are in it.

[Raven Baxter]

I think it's probably like eight or so, maybe less. But the episodes that I've. Right now, I'm only on six.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

No, yeah, Right now I'm on six. But the episodes that I watched at Pixar were three and four, I believe. And I really can't wait for you to see those.

[Melissa Smith]

Well, I. I pulled it up, and then Lainey decided she wanted to throw up for the first time, so I got distracted.

[Raven Baxter]

But lady said, oh, you're having a good time.

[Melissa Smith]

Quite literally. That it was the most horrific sound. I'm like, what the fuck happened to you? And then. Okay, anyway, but one side.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, my God, I forgot how much of a handful they are.

[Melissa Smith]

She's.

[Raven Baxter]

And she never stops.

[Melissa Smith]

Her little teenage attitude is so bad. Like, it's so. She's really trying the fuck out of me, like, every day. Every day. She started just howling at absolutely nothing.

[Raven Baxter]

Just.

[Melissa Smith]

Just like you and me are sitting right here looking at each other. What the are you doing anyway?

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah, Communicating. I'm seeing what's out there.

[Melissa Smith]

I. Once I. Once I get the chance.

[Raven Baxter]

I don't know.

[Melissa Smith]

No, she does that. But once I get the chance, I. I tend to just go right into a show and binge as many episodes. Episodes that are. Are available, so I will do that. I did that with. What is it called? Running Point. Turning Point.

[Raven Baxter]

It's a show, I think Turning Point.

[Melissa Smith]

It's. No, it's running well. I'm thinking of Running Point on Netflix with Drew.

[Raven Baxter]

I don't know what I'm thinking.

[Melissa Smith]

Not Drew Barrymore. What's that other white woman name? Kate Hudson and K. Hudson and Chet Hanks and whom Chet Hanks plays. So Kate Hudson plays this woman who is part of, like, a team who owns, like, the Lakers, Basically her family owns the Lakers. Her dad dies, leads it to her brother. Her brother goes to rehab, gives it to her. So she is managing this basketball team, trying to turn them around. Brenda Song is in it. She plays her work.

[Raven Baxter]

Brenda.

[Melissa Smith]

But it is so funny. I was not ready for it to be comedy. Yes. So it's not. It's not serious. It's not like a. It's not like succession. It's not like, all dramatic. It's quite ridiculous.

[Raven Baxter]

Okay.

[Melissa Smith]

Jay Ellis is in it.

[Raven Baxter]

I haven't even heard of this.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, Jay. Alice is in it. The promos for this show have been all over my tick tock and Instagram. I've been seeing so many little videos of Kate Hudson promoting this show. So that's what got me to turn it on. And then I literally laughed out loud. I was not ready to crack up. Edit the way that I did.

[Raven Baxter]

Our foreign party girl got through it in two days, and she's left in charge of her family's pro basketball team. She soon quickly learns that running a basketball team comes with its own problem.

[Melissa Smith]

So funny.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah, this sounds like it'll be kind of funny.

[Melissa Smith]

It is good.

[Raven Baxter]

I'm not. Mindy Kaling's one of the creators and showrunner. I didn't. I've never heard anything about this.

[Melissa Smith]

I really enjoyed it.

[Raven Baxter]

It reminds me of another thing that.

[Melissa Smith]

I feel like there's quite a few shows about, like, a family business, and there's a very rich family doing stuff. Succession was the first one.

[Raven Baxter]

Like, specifically, like, a person who's completely out of their depth having to take over for their family.

[Melissa Smith]

Well, that's the thing. She isn't. She's actually the sharpest basketball mind in the whole family, but nobody pays attention to her or values her because she's a girl.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, sickening. I am gonna like this.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, it is good. It is good. Good, good, good.

[Raven Baxter]

You know what? Toni Collette just did a movie where she was, like, the daughter of, like, a mafia crime guy or something like that, but she was like a. Very much like a. Like a Napa Val, not Anora. And she ends. No. And she ends up. I mean, Honora wasn't. Did you watch that?

[Melissa Smith]

No, but I saw the trailer, and I was like, is this little girl about to start shooting niggas? Like, what is happening?

[Raven Baxter]

I don't want to say anything. It's just fierce.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

It's just so good.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

It says so much about. It's just good, but it's not. I don't think it's what you think.

[Melissa Smith]

I'm gonna. Is it. Is it bloody? Bloody type of blood?

[Raven Baxter]

I don't remember. I don't. I'm sure there's blood, but it's not like that, okay? If there's blood, it's like someone got punched in the face and their nose is bleeding.

[Melissa Smith]

I'll try it. If it's too much, I'll cut it off.

[Raven Baxter]

It's not violent like that at all. It's. It's a love story.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, I thought. I thought it was like a stripper gets, you know, chose by some rich nigga, flowed out. Out to have a whole different life, and then you realize he's part of the mafia or something and y'all gotta kill so he can get out or something like that.

[Raven Baxter]

That's an interesting way to think of it.

[Melissa Smith]

Now I have to watch. Now I have to watch it. Now I have to watch it.

[Raven Baxter]

You just need to Watch it. I don't think it's what you think it is.

[Melissa Smith]

No, clearly it isn't. So maybe the. Maybe the who owned the strip club didn't want to let her go, and now they got to kill people so that she can be free.

[Raven Baxter]

That's another interesting way.

[Melissa Smith]

All right, so I'm wrong again. I will simply watch it. I'll just watch it.

[Raven Baxter]

It's shot well. The score is, like, the cinematography, the acting.

[Melissa Smith]

I mean, it did very well. Best Actress, I think, Best Screenplay, like, it did. It did very well.

[Raven Baxter]

So. And it takes place in the city too, so there's an edge of, like. Yeah, of course.

[Melissa Smith]

Like, ghetto.

[Raven Baxter]

It's just. I literally watched it because somebody else who I respect quite a bit was like, oh, yeah, this movie was, like, probably the best movie I've seen this year. And when it came out, I kept hearing critics be like, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing. And based on the trailer, I was like, yeah, this looks cool. I like Mikey. And then I watched it, and I was like, girl. And it's one of those movies too, where there's like a. I don't want to say too much. Just watch it.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

Just like. Like, when it was over and the credits roll, I literally was sat up in my bed and I was like, oh, wow.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay, not the slow clap. All right, you sold it. You have something.

[Raven Baxter]

It was team. I really enjoyed it. I still don't think that she should have won best actor, but that's only because everybody, like I said, I said this. I'm not doing it again. So running point. I'm putting that on after severance it.

[Melissa Smith]

So it don't go looking for it like, oh, my God. Emmy Award winning show. Like, no shade. It's not like the script is not. Not that deep, right? But it is genuinely funny. It has some twists and turns that I actually did not see coming, and I really did enjoy it. And they already announced that a second season is coming, which I think that's when I decided to watch it, because I hate when Netflix does a great show and then leaves me starving for more. So it was like, as soon as they said season two, when Jay posted that they was, you know, gonna get started on season two, I was like, let me pull it up tonight. Anyway, it was. It's a good time.

[Raven Baxter]

Well, do you want fun and funny.

[Melissa Smith]

When I tell you I laughed aloud. There were lines in this show. I literally laughed aloud.

[Raven Baxter]

So that's a good sign because I can, like, I can think something is. Is very, very funny and not Laugh out loud.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yeah. All the time.

[Raven Baxter]

But if they get to me.

[Melissa Smith]

But that's the kind of humor where you actually got.

[Raven Baxter]

I'm like, oh, bitch. Like gcb.

[Melissa Smith]

Like gcb.

[Raven Baxter]

Like, when I remember seeing the trailers for GCB and being like, oh, I'm totally gonna watch this. This is gonna be great. And I'm expecting to, like, you know, laugh. Oh, yeah. GCB had me open, mouth, screaming. I was like, oh, I did not expect this show to be this fucking funny. And there goes another one. One season, see? And the right thing out of here.

[Melissa Smith]

Never forgive y'all for this. Abc, we still got beef.

[Raven Baxter]

That show was so good.

[Melissa Smith]

It was. White people couldn't take it. The white Republicans could not take being called out like that on network tv.

[Raven Baxter]

But it was like, girl, God, it was so good.

[Melissa Smith]

They're like, yeah, we all have gay husbands. Yeah. All of our daughters have. Have breast jobs and nose jobs.

[Raven Baxter]

And we're all drunk.

[Melissa Smith]

We're all hypocrites. We're all acting like we're all saved and pious, but really, we own Hooters. Oh, God.

[Raven Baxter]

But isn't the Righteous Gemstones the same thing?

[Melissa Smith]

What is the right.

[Raven Baxter]

I've never watched it. It's a show on HBO about a family of. Of televangelists.

[Melissa Smith]

I've never heard of that.

[Raven Baxter]

That are, like, awful people.

[Melissa Smith]

I think, oh, this looks incredible.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, I never watched it, but I heard it's amazing.

[Melissa Smith]

Wait, I didn't. The way I thought this was brand new. This aired in 2019.

[Raven Baxter]

No, it ended, but I think it had three or four seasons.

[Melissa Smith]

Wow. Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

I heard it was a really good show, but in my mind, I'm like, isn't it the same thing? It's about, like, a family of people who work on.

[Melissa Smith]

I see why I didn't hear of it. It's no black people in this. It's one.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, yeah. None.

[Melissa Smith]

It's one black man. He looked like he.

[Raven Baxter]

It's none. It's John Goodman, I think. I think.

[Melissa Smith]

No, there's. There's literally one. His name is Gregory Allen Williams. He plays Martin Amari.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

But that's it. Ah, yeah. I see why I didn't hear y'all.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah. I wonder. Maybe I'll watch some of that to see how different it is or isn't. Or maybe because. You know what else? Maybe because it's on hbo, it helped.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, well, that'll do.

[Raven Baxter]

Because GCB was fully on prime time. Abc.

[Melissa Smith]

Anybody used to watch it, right? That's what pissed them off.

[Raven Baxter]

Maybe that's what it was.

[Melissa Smith]

They said, not me tuning in for TGIF and getting red no later. They said, bitch, I did not come here for this.

[Raven Baxter]

Bitch. My Marie Callenders are still steaming and I gotta look over at this nigga and be reminded that I hate his gas. And then I don't want to go to church tomorrow.

[Melissa Smith]

I would have went to therapy if I wanted to look at myself. Get the fuck out of here. Woo.

[Raven Baxter]

I might watch that tonight.

[Melissa Smith]

So good.

[Raven Baxter]

Speaking of Kristin Chenoway, Wicked, I bought the fucking. I have to do a Patreon video out of this. When I saw Wicked, I went on Amazon because I knew that good old what's that rich man name?

[Melissa Smith]

Jeffrey Bezos.

[Raven Baxter]

Yes, I knew Jeffrey the baes would have a pre order ready for me even though it was like opening night of that year.

[Melissa Smith]

Of course he did.

[Raven Baxter]

Rest assured, there it was. And I bought. I was so knocked over that I was like, regular 4K. No, I want the special edition because I enjoyed this so much.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh Lord, what did you do?

[Raven Baxter]

But I want the like special edition. Oh, it's a little golden steel book. Nice. I just hit purchase on that and it came in the mail a couple of days ago and I opened a box and inside of it was the limited edition Wicked box that was like the size of a Nissan Altima. I didn't expect for it to. I don't. I still don't know what's in it, I guess.

[Melissa Smith]

Besides, I just didn't open it. It's Ariana.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah, she's just her ponytail and two of her sleeves. I'm like, is that. Is the hat in this box? Like, what is. Why is the box so. I didn't know that it was gonna be so big. I can't wait to see what's in it.

[Melissa Smith]

Not. You got a PR box. You need to open it.

[Raven Baxter]

That I paid for.

[Melissa Smith]

Elphaba's hat is in there. The broom.

[Raven Baxter]

If Elphaba's hat is in this box, I might cry.

[Melissa Smith]

Well, all the more reason to record it and. And monetize it on Patreon, right?

[Raven Baxter]

So I can buy another one. I love that movie. I'm actually.

[Melissa Smith]

It is so good. God, I can't.

[Raven Baxter]

So excited to watch it again on disc because Mama, I'm so sorry. Those discs look better than the streams.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yes, that's what everybody says.

[Raven Baxter]

It doesn't matter what your wifi looks like when you pop a good old 4k disk or even a Blu Ray, bitch, It is some DVDs.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, I don't have.

[Raven Baxter]

Because you know who has watched Golden Girls on Hulu every night for well.

[Melissa Smith]

Over your whole life?

[Raven Baxter]

It is me. But it took me the longest because I remember when they added it to Hulu and I was like. At first I was like, I was being very hipster about it, right? And I was just like, I've got all of the DVDs, I don't need this.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes, but this is far more convenient. Far more convenient.

[Raven Baxter]

And then I was like, okay, if I just want to jump to episodes six of episode five. Ever watching this one, I can just do it on here, right?

[Melissa Smith]

Instead of flipping it.

[Raven Baxter]

Shut up and get over yourself.

[Melissa Smith]

15 DVDs and then skip into the right episode. Like, girl.

[Raven Baxter]

Right?

[Melissa Smith]

You just pull it up. Oh, you don't have to be all precious about it, Right. This was shot in like 89 90. Like, this is an old ass show, dog. This was hdtv. Anyway, so.

[Raven Baxter]

But one of the other days. Oh, you know when it was. It was when they took that. The episode wall and black people off the episode off the streamer because of the quote unquote, blackface. The scene where Michael comes home with that black lady.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes, yes, I remember.

[Raven Baxter]

And Blanche and Rose come out with the mud mask on. Yep. And it's like that pissed me off to no end because that was.

[Melissa Smith]

Come on, y'all.

[Raven Baxter]

Like, that was the joke was that they know black face is bad, Right.

[Melissa Smith]

But they're doing mud masks and it looks bad if you're doing a mud mask and then a black woman comes over in this all white home. Like, that's family of black people.

[Raven Baxter]

Like that.

[Melissa Smith]

That is a joke. So. Oh, God.

[Raven Baxter]

They put it back.

[Melissa Smith]

But before they did, you and your people were excited. I'm finna send an email. So angry.

[Raven Baxter]

No, but I pulled out the DVDs and I watched some of the DVDs again and I was like, these look better.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Raven Baxter]

Whatever it is. So I'm actually really excited to watch Wicked on, like with the disc because, my God, I don't get tired of that fucking movie. And I'm still gagged because I spent so much of my life not caring about Wicked. Like, having known the story and a relative amount of the music, I was just like, okay. And now I have a box the size of two links with a bunch of Wicked memorabilia and shit inside, I guess.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, Johnson's diary's in there. Yeah, shout out to him because he really. That was a big job to take Wicked and adapt it for the big screen. And he absolutely Knocked it out the park, right?

[Raven Baxter]

Was that man not nominated?

[Melissa Smith]

I don't know. I don't know. I feel like if the film. If the film gets nominated for best picture, how is the director not automatically nominated for Best Director?

[Raven Baxter]

Best Picture, you have the two leads who are nominated for.

[Melissa Smith]

Right. They're both.

[Raven Baxter]

You have the set that's nominated, you have the clothes that's nominated. You have the hair that's nominated. How the fuck is the director not nominated?

[Melissa Smith]

It's not making sense, but especially when.

[Raven Baxter]

Everyone who speaks about him is like, oh, yeah, he handpicked the tulips and then planted them in the ground.

[Melissa Smith]

Right. That's not the case. And then they really planted and, like, made sure they had all them 900,000 tulips. Like, it was just so well done.

[Raven Baxter]

Like, what happened?

[Melissa Smith]

I don't. I don't.

[Raven Baxter]

With the Emilia Perez guys nominated, this.

[Melissa Smith]

Is what I'm saying. You have to be so confident in yourself and your own art because the outside validation is weird and inconsistent. It don't make sense how your movie get, like, 11 Oscar nominations and you don't get one. It do not make sense.

[Raven Baxter]

And he was so gracious about it, too. He was just like, I'm so happy. Happy for everybody. I'm so excited for everybody. Oh, my God. Naming each and every one of them and how much, you know, how hard they worked, all of these things. He's just so, so excited. And he's like, you know, you can hear his children. I think he has, like, three kids.

[Melissa Smith]

He's got four.

[Raven Baxter]

That's right, he does. He has four, including a very, very fresh one. And you just hear the kids, just uproarious, just singing, defying gravity and shit. Battle cries of their own in the background as he's just, like, ever so kindly and graciously squeaking life into all of these other people in the production who are nominated. And I'm just sitting there like, good for you, sir.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah.

[Raven Baxter]

And why the fuck is Jenny crossing? Like, it just doesn't make sense.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, I hope. I hope he sincerely felt that way instead of just being gracious, because that would be a sign he really was in a healthy place. Like you. First of all, you clearly love kids. You and your wife love having kids. You can keep doing that for as long as you want to. You will have cheese on your burger for the rest of time. You. You. You know, the. The film is excellent. Critics love it. Audiences love it, and you got paid buckets and buckets of money to do it. It's like an award really is the cherry on top, but it is the cherry. You have every fucking thing else. You really don't need that maraschino, especially.

[Raven Baxter]

When you are sitting at the center and people are literally all looking to you to get this incredible responsibility to. And pretty much everyone after the fact who has something to say to you has something incredibly kind and positive to say, like, yeah, you're right. If you give me a little golden trophy on top of that, it is a cherry. And it's not to say that it doesn't mean anything or people shouldn't aspire to it, but I think that you're completely right. That that state of mind is probably the. Is definitely the. The right state of mind to have. You are gonna have cheese on your burger. The movie did incredibly well. And you have a second part. Part of it that's also going to.

[Melissa Smith]

Right. You have another one coming. You have. You beat everybody's ass just a few months ago, and you have part two coming up. This very. Like, I don't even know that he has time to sit here and, you know, be Wobegon.

[Raven Baxter]

Right.

[Melissa Smith]

The. The satisfaction in the work is definitely the main thing. The money and the accolades and all that is. Is extra and very nice. But, you know, is what can you really. We can't stop creating because we don't get an Oscar, an Emmy, a Tea, a Webby, whatever it is. Like you can't stop doing.

[Raven Baxter]

Dressing her first album of the year.

[Melissa Smith]

Imagine if she stopped when they first played in her face.

[Raven Baxter]

Because we've already said every time that lady's released an album, it's been album of the year. So the first one is kind of crazy, but. Well, I was about to say, you know what? Kids have a way of humbling you and making, I think, making you not forget, but time out of all of those things anyway. And prioritize the things in your life that are beautiful.

[Melissa Smith]

Yep.

[Raven Baxter]

Because the way that your children especially. I didn't even thumbs down. I want you guys at home to know that the. The FaceTime or whatever, the little camera thing. I hate AI. I did not do a thumbs down, but the fucking camera just did a thumbs down on my face right after you said that. As this to say, girl, fuck that. No Beyonce binge should have won. And I don't care what you're talking about.

[Melissa Smith]

Your FBI agent said, actually, I'm gonna just scooch it.

[Raven Baxter]

I hate it, actually. When I'm done with this, I'm gonna turn it off.

[Melissa Smith]

You gotta turn the reactions off. It's so weird.

[Raven Baxter]

But, yeah, kids, you know, it could be like, oh, nominations and this, this. And everyone's talking about this, and your agent and your. Your cast and this and your management and da, da, da, all this other stuff. And then your kids are gonna be like, yeah, whatever. Your movie came out. This Easy Mac isn't hot enough. And I don't understand why you feel like talking about movies, okay? You've made them since before I was born. I'm here now. And this Easy Mac is cold. So what, you want an award for your movie that everybody did that we're stupid rich about, or can I just have my Easy Mac? I think it's kind of like, I.

[Melissa Smith]

Feel like there's a problem right in front of us. There's a problem right in front of us that we could be addressing together. But you want to go on and on about some trophy girl. Who cares?

[Raven Baxter]

And then you warm up the EZ mag, and they eat the Easy Mag and they belch, and then they fall asleep in your little arms watching one or two, and you're like, this is great.

[Melissa Smith]

And then they fart on you.

[Raven Baxter]

And then they fart on you, and you're like, I guess I asked for that as well. But before you know it, you forget that there is even an award show happening, literally. Because there's all kinds of adventures every day in your life now at home.

[Melissa Smith]

Cause you got kids. They are an adventure in and of themselves.

[Raven Baxter]

Like you podcasting, living a life. And it's like, oh, yeah, I have to go and do this podcast right now. And Lainey goes, oh, yeah, I'm gonna vomit. Don't you have to. So what's gonna happen? Is gonna do this first.

[Melissa Smith]

And that's why her little ass is at daycare on Wednesdays, because I'm not having it. Somebody else needs to look at you so that mommy can work in peace. Like, I have to work. All the things you love, your little stuffed animals and squeaky things.

[Raven Baxter]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Melissa Smith]

They are not free. They literally don't grow on trees.

[Raven Baxter]

I wish they did.

[Melissa Smith]

With all my heart. I wish. And they all have names. I wish I could go pluck another Otis off the tree. I would love to do that for you. However, Otis costs $8 down to the Petsmart, so. Yeah, can Mommy go to work, please?

[Raven Baxter]

Minimum.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, right, because, you know I'm not going in there for one damn thing. And your food. Oh, my God. I be wanting to tell Lainey, your food is too fucking expensive for you to be acting like you don't Feel like eating right now. Yes, the. You do. There are starving dogs right now outside.

[Raven Baxter]

Many.

[Melissa Smith]

I'm such a mom.

[Raven Baxter]

Same. Anyway, but baby, ever since I upgraded to this human. Human grade wet food.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes, she does love it because Link.

[Raven Baxter]

Eats Royal canine and that's her tea. The dry food or whatever. But I have like, the human grade dog food, like wet. That I'll mix in there now.

[Melissa Smith]

Mm.

[Raven Baxter]

She love it when I opened that first container.

[Melissa Smith]

Did you do just food for dogs smell?

[Raven Baxter]

What do you mean?

[Melissa Smith]

Did you do just food for dogs? The brain.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

When she smelled that food, she said, bitch. She cannonballed into the kitchen where she knows she's not permitted and was like. She looked at me like, what the exact fuck is. She's always up when it's food time, but she'll usually just sit, you know, where the food. Where I put the bowl and just wait. She smelled that new food and came in the kitchen like, what the fuck are we doing in here today?

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah.

[Raven Baxter]

And I was like, yeah. Ever since then, she's elated. She loves it.

[Melissa Smith]

That's what I should have done. My problem was that I gave Lainey the best available food from birth. And so now she's just like, I don't give a fuck about your chicken and rice. This pork and. And beef meal, bitch. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I have this every day, twice a day. My whole. I don't. I should have given her years of just this blue buffalo kibble. That's what I was. Because she eats that too. And there was a whole. She didn't. She. It was like a mug month in December where she would not eat her fresh food no more. She would only eat kibble. Like, literally stressed me out so bad. Like, why are you acting like this? But so now I'm. I'm adding in. We do just food for dogs, but I'm also doing the farmer's dog because they have more options that she can eat now because she's still under a year old. So she can only have the chicken and rice and the fish and potato from just food for dogs. And she don't like the fish meal at all. She will straight up not eat. She's so. She's literally. I'm like, how are you, Bougie? Bougie. How. I never knew dogs could have a picky palette. I never.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

I never heard of such a thing.

[Raven Baxter]

Oh, yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

I've only ever known dogs to eat literally anything. Like, you gotta you gotta pick up. My mom used to tell me, with puppies, you gotta, like, measure out the food and leave it, because they will just eat and eat and eat and eat. Lainey is not that at all. Yeah, I have to, like, beg this to eat.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah, no, Lanka's the same way. Thankfully, she will eat most of the food, but there have been a couple of not even just, like, brands like you said it would be. Just like, is that salmon? Oh, I'm not eating that.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, she'll wrinkle her nose up and just switch away like, okay, bitch. All right.

[Raven Baxter]

She, Link will sniff, sniff, look up at me like, I fucked up, and then just tiptoe her ass back to whatever she was.

[Melissa Smith]

And lady don't have no problem simply skipping a meal. She just. She'll be like, okay, yeah, I'm not eating this, so let's go to bed, right? And I Sometimes I'm like, are you just being stubborn or is something genuinely wrong? And I test that by giving her one of her little brisket treats. Or I pull it out and if she sniff at it and act like she want to eat it, which she does 10 times out of 10, then. I know you're simply being a brat. But you have three different kinds of fresh food in this ice box right now. Like, no dog is catered to the way you are without being, like, a multi millionaire. So I'm just gonna need you to, like, that's how I raise Liz. Anyway. Anyway, we just spent 20 minutes talking about our dog.

[Raven Baxter]

No, but she literally will grow out of it and that. And. And yes, dogs do have moments where. Where they'll be like, I'm not eating this. But usually, especially when she gets older, usually when, like, if she. It is. When she is not eating, it's gonna be a thing where that something's wrong.

[Melissa Smith]

Something is wrong. Right now. She's just like. You know, kids can wake up in the morning and have three, like, fucking sweeties, them little sweet tarts. They can have, like three of those and half a cup of orange juice. Juice and be powered up until 11:30pm And I just think that's how it is.

[Raven Baxter]

Sincerely.

[Melissa Smith]

Wednesday mornings, I make sure she eats a full breakfast because she's going to be at school all day and she has training. So I don't want her to be, like, starving when she's supposed to be working with the trainer. So I make sure she eats all of her food. And I. But I have seen her refuse to eat in the morning, go to school, and I'm like, You're going to be starving when you come home. She come home, sniff at that chick and be like, nah. And take a nap. How. How it's been all day.

[Raven Baxter]

Anyway, this dog, there are methods to getting them to eat more, too, because there's like, I forgot what it's called, but there are little things. Primarily with puppies.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, she has nutrition that they have.

[Raven Baxter]

Okay.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yeah, no, I. I got the nutritional gel. When I got her, they were like, just in case she doesn't eat well. And I'm like, well, turns out she consistently is like, she's not averse to food. And when she actually is hungry, she'll fuck it up. She'll eat the whole damn bowl. So it's not that she doesn't like it. It's just if she's not in the mood or whatever, then she just can't be bothered. And like, wow, who is this diva?

[Raven Baxter]

Like, some. I know some puppies and. Or dogs don't like or it's. They have trouble eating when no one's around. Like, even link younger, if I would, like, feed her. Her and then, like, leave the room. Let's say I go into my bedroom or something like that. She might not finish.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yes. Like, oh, well, she needs me to sit right there. She needs me to stay in the room or else she'll find something else to do. She won't eat if I'm not right there, which is endlessly annoying. But yeah, okay, Miss Girl. We really just. We figuring it out together.

[Raven Baxter]

It gets better.

[Melissa Smith]

The vets, when she went in for her spay, they said she was slightly underweight and that really. I've been spiraling a little bit ever since. Like, my baby. She won't eat, but she's fine.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah, she. She slightly is not right when it's like, an issue.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah. They will tell you.

[Raven Baxter]

I assure you, they will tell you, and they'll tell you more than twice.

[Melissa Smith]

No, I brought it up and they were, like, slightly under overage, right? They were like, girl, this dog is like a scale of like, like 1 to 9, 5 being ideal. And Laney was a 4. They were like, please, please calm your Nani. Yeah, she's good.

[Raven Baxter]

She's good. Yeah. Well, that's it for the Hot Box this week.

[Melissa Smith]

That was the dog break that you can tell was sponsored by nobody because we named five different brands.

[Raven Baxter]

Well, see, this is what I meant about the hot box. I want to talk about whatever the I want.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, because your box is hot. Your box is hot. Hot.

[Raven Baxter]

We're going to take a break is we have to now. And then we'll come back. Okay, we're back. And it is time for listener letters.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes, it is. Please send your questions to Ask the Read gmail dot com. We may read them aloud on the show. And I'm almost there. All right. Our first letter this week comes from.

[Raven Baxter]

Did you hear about how they canceled the show?

[Melissa Smith]

Girl, they love playing in black people's faces. Did you see? Not even see. I read an article, but I think Issa was doing a panel or interview or something about how, oh, duh, she's doing this documentary about how network build up audiences and make so much money and all this stuff off of black people, black content, black audiences. And then once they get to a certain level of profitability, they just be like, all that. Anyway, that made me think of that. Just very tired of y'all playing with black shows in particular. But yeah, I said, well, if anybody can speak on that, I'm sure Issa Rae is one. But it's like a girl. It's full of people who have worked in TV for decades giving their, like, personal stories of what happened. It's like you read it but then hearing it from people. And that was one of, one of the things that was great about. Number one on the call sheet is like listening to Whoopi Goldberg talking. She was like, a little. Not that I didn't grow up with her, but I don't remember, like Whoopi winning that Oscar for Best supporting Actress for Ghosts. Like, you know, and I definitely was not around for like her stand up comedy career. Like, I don't, I don't really remember any of that. So they get into like the history and them talking about how when they were growing up, they literally did not see black women in film. Like these. You could be the maid, you know, you could, you could be the mammy. And so I'm thinking, like, I grew up seeing black women in movies constantly. And then they were like, oh, baby. Well, let's talk about the 90s, because all the girls were booked. Everybody was putting out a movie every, you know, year and a half. So anyway, y'all have to watch that when it comes out. But Ashley is our first letter this week and she says, I am a fem lesbian and in a long standing situationship with a stud. We dated for about a year, but we're never official. No, it's a situationship long stand. Oh, you're so rude. Anyway, everything was great. One day we had a conversation about kids and I expressed how Having them is terrifying to me and that I never really saw myself as a mother. She, on the other hand, has always wanted kids and is even willing to get a surrogate and be a single mother to do so. After this conversation, she decided we shouldn't date anymore because it would essentially be wasting our time since we want different things. Since then, we've broken up and gotten back together three times for this same reason.

[Raven Baxter]

So gay.

[Melissa Smith]

So we go some time with out speaking and then we end up talking. And again because we miss each other so much, which is true, lesbian and probably toxic. But we ultimately know that we're just friends, quote unquote, and that unfortunately, we won't end up together. It's been nearly a year since we first had this conversation, and at this point, we are talking nearly every day and seeing each other often. She is my best friend and my feelings for her are still there. Since that conversation nearly a year ago, kids are still something I'm unsure of. I know a lot of women have known since they were little that they wanted to be mothers, but that feeling has just never come to me. I fear entering my 40s and feeling like something is missing and regretting not having them. I just want to know how I feel about kids 100%, so when I'm ready to start dating again, I can look for someone who is aligned with what I want. It feels like all lesbians want a family. My question, if y'all know for sure that you don't want kids, how or when did you know that? Do you have any advice to help me know for sure? How do you navigate dating being childless by choice? Any other advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance, Ashley.

[Raven Baxter]

Ashley, thank you for that.

[Melissa Smith]

Very queer, how gay of you, baby girl.

[Raven Baxter]

I think my response will be pretty simple. As far as me, I know that I don't want kids for reasons that are pretty simple but also kind of upsetting. I was just thinking about this in the grocery store the other day because I saw some little boy in there buying or picking up produce with his dad. And I was like, oh, that's so cute. And it made me think of kids. And I was like, yeah, I'm never gonna have them because I'm not mentally sou and I don't want to ruin a person's life. So there's that. So that's mine. And I think it pretty much ends there. But as far as you, Ashley, I find it interesting that it sounded like, you know, the top of this letter, you were like, you know, I don't want kids. I feel pretty firm on it. And then, you know, you went through the whole Lesbian 101 journey.

[Melissa Smith]

Truly, that.

[Raven Baxter]

That now you're saying, like, you're unsure. And you even said, you know, you don't want to get to a. A place where you feel like you missed out and this and the third. So I think separate of the situation stood talk to the lady, the other lady or the lad, somebody else, speak to someone to just, I think, probably unpack your feelings on motherhood, parenting, parenthood, children, the dynamics between just kind of, I think, get a firmer understanding of where these feelings come from. Not with the intent on changing anything. If you do, great. If you don't, great. Because I don't think that either one of you are wrong here, but you want to be firm and have, I think, the best understanding of why you feel the way that you do. So that going into a relationship, when it comes up, you, I think, will have a better. Better ability to express yourself about it, to converse about it, and to really kind of help yourself and your partner know where you stand. And a big part of the reason why you probably still kind of entertain this girl outside of her being your best friend, you're in love with.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, Lord.

[Raven Baxter]

Lesbians. There's probably, like, a thought of, like, is there a world that we can make this work? Would children need to be involved in it? Okay, well, what does that world look like? You know what I mean? You're asking yourself all of these questions about something you say that you didn't want to do because you like this person. So you have to be able to really get an understanding of what that means. And I think a therapist will also help you to establish boundaries with that, to stop. It's easy for us to be like, girl, I don't eat red meat or whatever, or, I don't eat meat at all. I'm vegan. Okay, let me switch the metaphor. I don't watch Scandal.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

Okay. And the next thing you know, you're fucking three seasons into Olivia's coats, and it's like, what the fuck? What. What is. What is this? What's going on? I. I said that I don't do this, but I guess we're doing it. Even though I don't like it. I think that your therapist can also help you to. Yeah. Establish boundaries and be firm but respectful in them. Because I think that's another issue that we have.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah.

[Raven Baxter]

With liking people is being like, I don't do this or want to do this, but I will just Go ahead and do it anyway, because I don't.

[Melissa Smith]

Want this person to go anywhere, which is a bad idea. You're just.

[Raven Baxter]

It is always a bad idea.

[Melissa Smith]

It's better to just not do it. And if that person leaves, then that's for the best. Y'all need to not get closer to one another because it. Listen, it hurts enough to break things off when things are just cool. But early on, you're like, I can tell this is not gone. It's hard enough to break things off. At that point, it's like, damn, I really like you. But if I keep on going with this, the devastation is going to be terrific. And I'm just gonna go ahead and save myself the months of crying over you and just go ahead and end this now. I. I think y'all are. Because. So she said that in like a. In parentheses, that she's 32. This other girl is 33. So y'all are really at that age where people are really deciding, you know, yes or no on kids. It's like, what are we gonna do here?

[Raven Baxter]

True, but. And deciding for you if you're a woman or.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes. Depending on which state you live in, and all kind of. But if. I will say this. If you are unsure about children or don't want them, or you're like, I don't know, don't have that period.

[Raven Baxter]

Agreed.

[Melissa Smith]

Unless you are 100% gung ho, like. Like this, like the studies. She's willing to get a. A surrogate if she has to. She is going to be a parent. If you don't feel that strongly about it, then don't give up your womb. Don't, don't, don't do that. And.

[Raven Baxter]

Or your room.

[Melissa Smith]

Come on now. Michelle Silverstein, you better come on in here and write. You. You mentioned, you know, fearing turning 40 and feeling like something's missing and regretting not having them. It is much, much better to regret not having them than to regret having them.

[Raven Baxter]

Jesus is alive.

[Melissa Smith]

It's much, much better because. Because up to a certain point. Point, you can still have biological children. There are plenty of women who get pregnant in their 40s and even their early 50s. Janet Jackson did it at 50.

[Raven Baxter]

True.

[Melissa Smith]

It's not impossible, especially with IVF and all this other stuff. But there's more than one way to become a mother. You can always adopt. You never know what might happen. Like, if I'm. I'm Noah's God's mother, if something happens to Tristan and Jade, I. I'm going to be a mom, like, overnight. No, no, not at all. But it's just, you know, like, these are things. These are conversations we've had to have. If I have to take in some child. Child in my family or in my. My family circle, then that's another way of becoming a parent. You can adopt. Maybe the person you end up with has kids, so you end up a stepmom. Like, there's so many paths to parenthood.

[Raven Baxter]

I know it's not, like, the same, I guess, but mentorship, yes, it's not.

[Melissa Smith]

The same, but it's.

[Raven Baxter]

It is not the same, but it's a big deal.

[Melissa Smith]

And it's not the same in a better way. It's kind of like having a pet pet instead of a child. Because you get so many of the challenges of having a kid. Hear me out. You get. You get some of the challenges of having a kid because you have this responsibility. You have this thing that is dependent on you. However, you get also a lot of the benefits of having a kid. The love, the affection. And dogs are more consistent with that love and happiness and affection than children are. Children are far moodier, especially as they age. But dogs, yeah, 98 of dogs, when you come home at the end of the day, they have never been happier in their whole lives to see you. So what I'm saying is that, like having pets, being a mentor, this is lower stakes where you're still invested in the growth and development of another being, but you don't have full legal and physical, like, custody and responsibility of, like, raising a dog is not the job job that is raising a human. Let's just all be, you know, let's just all be real about that. So stuff like mentorship, being involved in your community, maybe teaching, being a therapist, there are all sorts of jobs where you work with children directly and can have a huge impact.

[Raven Baxter]

Like, teaching is a good one, but just.

[Melissa Smith]

It is always better to be like, damn, I wish I would have, you know, pushed one or two out than to be like, damn, why did I have these kids? Or why did I have these kids with that person. Person?

[Raven Baxter]

And, like, why do you want them?

[Melissa Smith]

Because it sounds like you're just trying to change your mind because you feel like most lesbians want kids. But let me tell you right now, that is very not true. There are so many lesbians and. And queer sapphic women or whatever y'all want to call yourselves that simply feel like the number one benefit of being gay is they don't have to worry about. About the possibility of having children. Like, there are so. And the Older you get, the easier they're going to be to find. Right now you're in your early 30s, so everybody's still like, ah, babies, Babies. Am I gonna do it? Am I not gonna do it? Give it another five or six years, these dykes will have settled down. Yes.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

You just make sure that you're being, you know, check in with yourself. Is this really what I want? And. And like you said, friend, like, you have to make sure you have boundaries and you're not internal boundaries even where you're not not just going along to get along to make sure that you can still have this person in your life. So. But best of luck. It does sound like genuinely, you have got to leave. You have got to stop this girl. You have to.

[Raven Baxter]

I would agree. I would agree.

[Melissa Smith]

Cuz this. Y'all are going to the. The devastation from this when y'all finally do break up has the potential of being.

[Raven Baxter]

It's just gonna be so bad.

[Melissa Smith]

Because it's gonna be. I. I told you four years ago I didn't want to have kids.

[Raven Baxter]

And Chris was right. She's having a baby. She's having a baby. That's decided. So, yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

Best of luck. Best of luck, babe. That is hard, but you can do it.

[Raven Baxter]

I don't know just whether lesbians be making it harder. Let it go. Elsa said this and she meant it. And it was so, so it was such a pivotal moment in her life and she was trying to get you all to understand where she was coming from. So you could also apply these things. I've been watching a lot of Pixar.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay, listen, Pixar does excellent work. I was just watching Turning Red the other day. I love Turning Fierce. I feel like it's underrated. Like, seriously underrated. Turning Red is excellent. It's so good.

[Raven Baxter]

Is it the period a lovely little that makes people uncomfortable or something?

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, it's the. I'm pretty sure that's it. Well, that and, you know, the star is Asian. It's a story about Asian people, Asian culture.

[Raven Baxter]

So I was like, it's very much about Asian.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes.

[Raven Baxter]

An Asian family.

[Melissa Smith]

And the music is good, but it's not Lin Manuel Miranda good. So. Yeah, so everybody's not watching it because, like, we don't talk about Bruno Charted, bitch. Like, that song was like number one for eight weeks.

[Raven Baxter]

And rightfully, that is a music.

[Melissa Smith]

That is a box day.

[Raven Baxter]

Like, we're talking about Bruno today. That whole Turning Red is so good.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes, it is.

[Raven Baxter]

It is.

[Melissa Smith]

All right, let's.

[Raven Baxter]

Their new show kind of has that animation style too. Win or lose. It kind of looks like.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yeah, I see what you mean.

[Raven Baxter]

It kind of looks like the style of them.

[Melissa Smith]

And I watched all the, you know, behind the scenes videos and stuff that Disney has for turning red and I was just like, God, I love. They have them like, they have them like going to a conservatory or zoo or something to visit actual red pandas. And they are so fucking cute.

[Raven Baxter]

If Disney animates like, like Disney will actually send motherfuckers into the ocean to go and study what like fake dust looks like down there. It's. Yeah, the scouting is crazy.

[Melissa Smith]

You know, they put the money into the project and the. And the. And it, the product reflects back. It does. Yeah, it does. Okay, so our last letter is from Susanna, who says, over the past few weeks, I've been coming to terms with the fact that my mother is the issue.

[Raven Baxter]

Y'all write these in the.

[Melissa Smith]

The funniest possible ways.

[Raven Baxter]

It's just. Just.

[Melissa Smith]

I am a parentified firstborn daughter who has had to take care of myself, my brother, and at times my mother since I was 8 years old. That's when my parents divorced. And from then on, my mother decided that I was the one responsible for keeping the household together. And outside of finances, she was absent.

[Raven Baxter]

I hope Tyler's not listening.

[Melissa Smith]

What? This has you. He is crafting a script as we speak.

[Raven Baxter]

He just finished writing. He just finished writing what this is.

[Melissa Smith]

It's actually done. We're going pre. Production starts tomorrow.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah, casting set. We're done. We're. We're filming.

[Melissa Smith]

What this has led to is a dynamic where my mother still expects me to carry the weight of the family. I'm the default caretaker, financial safety net, and essentially the second parent. And I have spent my entire life in this role. I'm now quite exhausted and naturally this has come with a healthy dose of depression, complex PTSD and a shiny new BPD diagnosis. Until this, I never fully connected. Connected with. I never fully connected my psychological issues to my mom. But once I did, I sent her a message explaining what BPD BPD is, its causes, and a few screenshots on what it's like to live with it. Her response was sorry for neglecting you, followed by a post of two young girls who she calls her prodigies that she has taken in as her own over the past few years. Then later that day, she sent me a long, dramatic message about how disappointed she is in me. I ignore that message. Message which has now led to her finding new creative ways to try to Guilt me into responding, including getting our pastor to call me. My grandmother has also joined the party, informing me that I am spiritually attacked and I need to apologize to my mother to restore peace. At this point, I'm ready to cut her off because I have endured too much. But the problem is that a part of me does not know who I am without being responsible for everyone else.

[Raven Baxter]

Oof. Jesus.

[Melissa Smith]

And I am terrified that opening the door to another meeting will mean opening the door to further manifest manipulation. For now, I'm still living at home, but I'm in the process of trying to move. Move out, because I know that this environment is not conducive to my growth or my mental health. Do y'all think I should cut my family off completely and walk away for good? Or should I do like my grandma said and try to have one more conversation? Any advice is appreciated. Kind regards, Susanna. There's a lot in that.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah, I was about to say. There's so much in this to unpack. I don't really feel like you need to have a conversation with anyone again unless, you know it will be useful to you. And it will, and it will be useful to you, either because of what will be provided or because of how you will navigate it. Otherwise, I don't know that I see the point right now in doing anything other than preserving yourself and distancing yourself, because I'm not sure what I. I didn't hear a damn thing. For anybody to be disappointed in you in. I don't think I heard anything.

[Melissa Smith]

Nope.

[Raven Baxter]

That you said that was. That I would refer to as a spiritual attack. And I believe in those. So I'm not just. Just. I don't believe that that's what's happening here. It sounds more so like what you're. What you're dealing with are people, especially people of a specific generation, who don't contend with or acknowledge those types of experiences because they don't have the depth or the intellect in order to do so. So they would rather rely on their own coping mechanism, which usually involve religion. Now, religion as a method of coping, Faith are incredible things. And if you are religious, believe in God, whatever. I understand them to be essential in you feeling well and at times. But when you're talking about something like a mental health disorder or really anything, a tree falling over on your house, it's like, okay, let's pray. All right? Amen. So who gonna get this tree out the house? You understand? It's like, all right, so are we all gonna lift? Am I supposed to Lift the tree by myself. Do I need to call somebody who gonna pay for me to call? There's work to be done and us not not addressing it. Us acting like there's not a tree sitting in the fucking house. Because none of us know how to get rid of this tree or want to deal with the fact that the tree is here is not going to remove this tree and the house is going to fill up with water. Then that's going to stain the fucking carpets and rugs. Then we're dealing with mildew right now. Everything. Now we have an even bigger like girl.

[Melissa Smith]

Right?

[Raven Baxter]

The tree is here. What are we going to do about it? It anyway? Long winded way of saying you know them better than we do. And if there isn't anything in the sauce that says a further conversation, another moment or anything like that is going to reach a revelation. Revelation for these niggas. I don't think that I. I don't understand why I would take part. Who do you think?

[Melissa Smith]

Well, I think there is a benefit in taking part in order to make the environment as easy for you as possible until you can separate yourself. So like when your grandmother says you need to apologize to your mama to restore the peace, what she's talking about is restore the default way that we have been going about things because you've never been at peace. So there isn't any peace being restored. That's. There's normalcy being restored. But the normalcy since 8 you have been carrying the family. That is. I'm not at all surprised that you have developed all these symptoms and disorders because of that. No 8 year old is supposed to be tasked with that responsibility. And we are not even talking about the impact of your daddy simply not being there divorcing your mom and then you're just gone. Yeah. Huh. We're not even talking about that. So it, it, it makes all the sense in the world that you are. That you have developed these issues and you're struggling this way. And then when you told her about it, she said sorry for neglecting you and then told you about two other girls who she's taking care of now who are so great and then said how disappointed she is in you. What the.

[Raven Baxter]

Like what?

[Melissa Smith]

You're disappointed in me? Only one of us me up.

[Raven Baxter]

Like what are. That's what I'm saying.

[Melissa Smith]

Like you held up the mirror, you held up the mirror to your mother and she could not handle the reflection so she made it your problem.

[Raven Baxter]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Melissa Smith]

Which is what you. And. And you are now in a Place where you realize you don't deserve that treatment, that it really, it is not you. And like you said, you don't even know who you are without bending and breaking and neglecting your own needs in service of everybody else.

[Raven Baxter]

That is so inexplicably heartbreaking. And to know that that is. And you have not been placing blame on anybody in this letter. You not pointing no fingers. You're saying for everyone to understand what I parent to am dealing with. This is it just so we kind of get an understanding. And you have been met, like Crystal said, your mom and whoever else feels under attack.

[Melissa Smith]

Grandma.

[Raven Baxter]

And they feel like they. They did this to you and. But I. I don't want to. You know, basically you're saying, I told you niggas to change the windows and to fix the walls and all this other stuff because there was a hurricane coming or whatever, and everybody paid me dust. Now the tree is sitting here and you want to call the pastor and say you disappointed in me because I didn't fix the windows. Bitch, I told y'all to fix the windows and I was eight. It's like.

[Melissa Smith]

But now you in trouble for saying that it's a problem. Yeah. Now you're wrong for saying that.

[Raven Baxter]

That's why, like, I completely agree on, like, prioritize what is safest for you in the environment that you're in. At the same time, I'm like, it's poisonous to experience that. Like, I don't want for her to be in a situation where she's going to talk to anybody and then be like, well, yeah, we're just disappointed in you because you're not Christlike and you need to fix the family. It's just why I. Why expose yourself to that again when you have not done anything but step up at an age before you were even in double digits to help carry the weight that was left behind by two grownups that decided they ain't want to do it no more. And now you can barely even recognize who you are, who you want to be because you've been doing that shit since before you were 10, since you were 8 years old. And they're making it your fault.

[Melissa Smith]

Your mother needs to learn to take care of herself emotionally, physically, everything else. So if. Apologize well, there's so much to say here. There's so much you. You have been. I hope your brother is an adult so that if when you leave, he's not just like the only kid there. I hope he's grown or, you know, an old enough teenager to. Where Y'all can hang out together without your mom getting. Getting involved, that sort of thing. But if fake apologizing will restore some sense of, like, calm to the household so that your nervous system doesn't feel under attack, I would apologize knowing that I don't mean it. Knowing that I'm saying this because I still live here and I'm just trying to make things as easy for myself. But the whole time I am plotting to get the away from you. And as soon as I am able people, I am out. This. I do not need to. To speak my. You already said it. You already said, hey. This is the diagnosis I have. This is what causes it, which is 9.8 times out of 10, extreme childhood trauma. Hello. Hello. Your daddy completely vanished and your mama turns you into the mama. She literally was like, the daddy. Like, I'm gonna send some child support every now and. But you the one raising you and your brother. You didn't have that nigga. It wasn't even you raising you. It's you and him. I'm getting upset on your behalf.

[Raven Baxter]

That's what I'm saying.

[Melissa Smith]

I need to calm down because you have been so profoundly mistreated and they are making it your fault.

[Raven Baxter]

So unbelievable.

[Melissa Smith]

If I were you, I would start stacking as much extra cash as I can. I would be asking around to friends or maybe even co workers that you're cool with. You have to be careful about this, but does anybody need a roommate? Because it's easier to do that than to get a place on your own and obviously much cheaper. But whatever I can do. My number one priority would be independence from these people getting out of this house because you have no idea what else can open up for you once you are no longer under there, once you're no longer in their presence, because then you can start working on no longer being under their control or influence. Then you can work on unlearning the harmful shit that they did to you and re parenting yourself in a healthy and mature way. You already had to parent yourself, but you were 8, so you didn't do a good job because you were 8.

[Raven Baxter]

And you didn't even get to be 8 or 9, which was your job.

[Melissa Smith]

That was your job, or 12 was to be a kid. To play and color and go to school and get dirty and mess up and learn and be forgiven in. You were supposed to be a child. They robbed you of that and now they making it your fault. I wouldn't try to have a genuine conversation. I would go in there, oh, sorry, mommy. I know I upset you. Love you so much. But I would be. I would. I would be fake about it. I absolutely would. So that. So that my blood pressure isn't high. 24 7.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

And call myself.

[Raven Baxter]

Yeah.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah. Because your nervous system gets activated when you're in conflict with the people in your own home or the people in your life. Like that. That is quite literally nerve wracking. So, yeah, I would do that just so she can calm down. And then, baby, when I tell you the master plan would go into effect today, I am plotting my exit. I told you niggas this is how I've been hurt. And you said you're disappointed in me. You're not disappointed.

[Raven Baxter]

Come home looking like the Fresh Prince finale.

[Melissa Smith]

Empty.

[Raven Baxter]

Empty. I don't know the you thought me.

[Melissa Smith]

And my things are getting the up out of here and you can figure it out. You don't know how to figure it out. Call pastor, call grandma.

[Raven Baxter]

Hell, if I had coin to take my brother with me, I'll take my brother with me.

[Melissa Smith]

If literally, if you and your brother are in that type of space. But I. I want you to be focused on you first and foremost because you've never done that. And that's a goddamn shame.

[Raven Baxter]

That's what I'm saying, too. It's like you have so much individual work that you have to do to just unwire all of this fuck shit that these people have put you through. And that time or the time to do that, they are attempting to extend. You know what I mean? They're setting an attempt for you to get there by, you know, deflecting from their own bullshit rather than just being like, my God, I made mistakes. They can't just say it, I'm sorry, what can we do? Fuck.

[Melissa Smith]

And actually changing the behavior. Because there are so many who can say, oh, my God, we did you so wrong. I'm so sorry. Can you forgive mommy? And then she keeps acting that same way.

[Raven Baxter]

That's why I'm like, what can we do? What needs to be. What do I do next?

[Melissa Smith]

Stop denying my experience. Support and encourage and nurture me the way you were supposed to 20 years ago. But for them to do that, they would also have to do the deep and hard and personal, private, painful work of healing. They can't give you what they don't have. A lot of us are raised by broken ass people.

[Raven Baxter]

This is exactly why we sent this last letter. Girl, don't you be going over there talking about having no babies. You talking about right now. You don't think you want to have no babies?

[Melissa Smith]

Please don't have no babies.

[Raven Baxter]

And even though I think in many ways I would be a fierce dad, I also. I got figs.

[Melissa Smith]

I don't want to take that off somebody.

[Raven Baxter]

I'm not fucking up no human being. When I could just go down to the local. Some, you know, Boys and Girls Club or school somewhere for a day, bring presents and be like, you know what? I remember when we all used to sit around and watch Animaniacs and play with our Trapper Keepers. What are your kids doing today? Well, you better believe in yourself and graduate. I don't know, whatever.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay, Animaniacs, Grandpa, let's get you to bed.

[Raven Baxter]

You know what I'm saying? Like, this type of shit is ridiculous. And it's even more ridiculous that adults will look at the people. Their children who are suffering have suffered.

[Melissa Smith]

Yep.

[Raven Baxter]

And be in no way interested in.

[Melissa Smith]

Helping them because they would have to help themselves. And they refuse to do that for whatever reason they have. But you cannot get caught up in your parents. Why.

[Raven Baxter]

You don't owe poison a goddamn thing. And I don't give a fuck who the poison is. Your mama, your daddy, your grandma, your brother, your sister, your husband, your wife, your son. You don't owe anybody who is spewing venom at you for the fuck nothing. On top of that, you don't owe them a goddamn thing.

[Melissa Smith]

When you take.

[Raven Baxter]

You don't owe them a goddamn thing.

[Melissa Smith]

You carry the family the. If me right now at this, this, you know, seven years into therapy and where I am right now, if I was taking care of somebody and I said, hey, you did this thing that hurt me. And they said, well, actually, I'm disappointed in you. I would say you have 48 hours to get out of my house. I pay all the bills in this. So either you're leaving or I'm leaving. What. What you want to do. You actually got me up. I said, hey, this is something I'm struggling with as a direct result of your actions. And you said, well, but isn't it. Aren't you also kind of a flop? How about I murder you in your sleep? These parents have all the audacity and they are. They are so stuck in their own pain, they can't see yours. And that's a. It is truly a shame. And I mean this so sincerely when I say it is not your fault and it is so unfair that you have the burden of cleaning this up. And even if your mama did a complete 180 overnight, it would help a lot, but it would not heal you because the damage has been done and you have to do the work. Nobody else can do it for you. You have to do it.

[Raven Baxter]

It's just so incredibly cruel.

[Melissa Smith]

It's unfair as fuck. But baby, dude, didn't even sound like.

[Raven Baxter]

She was begging for this lady.

[Melissa Smith]

Just some acknowledgement, some undist.

[Raven Baxter]

But just acknowledge and adjust your behavior and your tone with me because this is what I'm going through, girl. And you wanted to make it all about you. Because you know you fucked up.

[Melissa Smith]

Susanna, in every decision you make going forward, please think first and foremost about what you want, not what's best for anybody else. What's best for you, what. What serves you over everybody. And I do mean everybody, including your brother, because you've been his mother and you didn't ask for that and he has one. So please think about you first and foremost, moving forward. And I wish you the best of luck, baby, because I have had to heal from emotionally immature parents who were abusive and neglectful and all that. I have had to do that healing. And there is nothing harder in this world for me. So I am wishing you the best of luck, baby. But it's not your fault. And you can break free of. Of these people and get to a happy, healthy place in your own life. But it's going to be a lot of work. I'm not going to lie to you about that. Wishing you the best. If anyone else others of you out there have a question for us, please send it on over to AskTheRead gmail.com. we're going to take another quick break and then we'll be right back.

[Raven Baxter]

Okay, folks, we are back and it is time. Time for the read. And I'll begin because I have one that I think is kind of fun and hopefully won't take long.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

It's not that serious. I was watching Lady Gaga's Saturday Night Live performances. She was on, I guess, just this past weekend and I've been enjoying her latest offerings from this new Mayhem album. She's getting real weird again. I want the prosthetics, I want the weird hair and eyes and body movements, costumes and all that madness. So I watched her SNL performances. Fierce. I love abracadabra. I could listen to it every day. The song Killa that she performed, the whole performance was so fierce. And I'm watching this and I'm like, like, Lady Gaga is the white woman that. She's the woman that white people should have put on the deck when they were like, versus Beyonce, not Taylor Swift.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes. The talent is there with Stephanie in a different way for sure.

[Raven Baxter]

It's just like for the past, I don't know how many years, it has been this whole like. Like, you know, white side thing. Every time Beyonce does something sickening, which is every time they're like, oh, but Taylor Swift as well. Because look at the numbers and look at this and look at the. I'm be honest with you, Taylor doesn't even really grind my gears as much as she used to. I've gotten over a lot of that. The Michael Jackson. The egregious Michael Jackson decision was quite some time ago. She's turned down the volume on that weird oh, my goodness, I can't believe I'm here bullshit. And now she mostly just gets drunk at award shows and dances, which is fine. And that's fine.

[Melissa Smith]

You can keep doing that forever. I love that tailor.

[Raven Baxter]

I love it.

[Melissa Smith]

That table is so fun.

[Raven Baxter]

But there was just quite a bit of time, even as recent as this fucking Renaissance. Remember when the Renaissance film was in theaters and then she added film in theaters for the eras tours? And there was this even this weird rivalry with that where I feel like someone. I would have to look it up, but I feel like someone from AMC or one of the theaters even admitted to doing something really, to rig numbers or some shit, like, I don't know.

[Melissa Smith]

You'D have to go, okay.

[Raven Baxter]

All that to say she should have never been the person on the white side of the table. Anyway, you have Lady Gaga right there. Taylor Swift, Yes. Great songwriter. Lady Gaga, great songwriter. Taylor Swift, catchy, fun pop songs. Lady Gaga, catchy, fun pop songs. Taylor Swift, acceptable singing voice. Lady Gaga. Singing voice.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes. A real voice, a real vocalist.

[Raven Baxter]

Lady Gaga. I mean, Taylor Swift every now and then puts on an album sometimes. The gown is beautiful.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yes, yes. Oh, great gowns.

[Raven Baxter]

Lady Gaga, fashion staple.

[Melissa Smith]

Truly groundbreaking and does wild shit.

[Raven Baxter]

Taylor Swift probably shouldn't act. Lady Gaga, excellent actor.

[Melissa Smith]

And house labs is great too.

[Raven Baxter]

Taylor Swift probably shouldn't dance. Lady Gaga probably shouldn't dance. But you will not tell that bitch. No, I'm kidding. Lady Gaga is actually a great dancer. She just loves weird movement. Like all her choreography is very weird because she's weird.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes. And then doing the video phone video where Beyonce was like, now, come on, baby, what you supposed to do next to them hips? Come on now.

[Raven Baxter]

They did two music videos together.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah.

[Raven Baxter]

It's just like everything is stage presence, art, theme, artistry. Like the mind, the everything is right there. I will tell you why it was not her because album two, Folie au Deux. I'm sorry that I just did that.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, me too.

[Raven Baxter]

Album two, Lady Gaga said, hey, everyone, guess what? I'm a wide open fag. Spray blood on my face and hang me from the vma and I want to sing about the devil and Judas.

[Melissa Smith]

Why would you say that?

[Raven Baxter]

I mean, she did wear. But everyone's bondless with like. She was literally just like, hey, let's all be faggots and cover ourselves in piss and just whatever.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, God.

[Raven Baxter]

And white American, you know, flyover state mamas and daddies were like, no, no.

[Melissa Smith]

Not in my Christian home.

[Raven Baxter]

You absolutely will not be going to the Lady Gaga.

[Melissa Smith]

Where's that white girl with a guitar? Bring her on.

[Raven Baxter]

Even though many of them were staining Madonna when she was wearing cone titties and fingering herself on stage. So that's confusing. But Taylor, on the other hand, was like, here I have, you know, my floor length dress and I play the guitar and sing country music, even though I'm from Pennsylvania. And I'm just being really much singing about. About this boy I like from second period. And she did that for, like, eons and eons and eons. And I think that that's why she was the acceptable card to play on the table until just about, what, last year when she was like, actually, Donald Trump can eat the back of my ass, and I will. My cat and I will be voting for Kamala Harris. Even though she probably didn't.

[Melissa Smith]

She did that before, though, when Trump first ran that whole. That whole documentary was about how she was like, I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say that Trump sucks and I'm not voting for him. And her daddy was like, you can't say that. You're gonna alienate everyone. She was like, I don't give a. Like, I have to stand for something. I done made all this money. Like, I'm gonna say it. So that's when I was like, I'm gonna ease up on you, white woman. But I. This whole argument of, like, it should have never been her in the first place. Fully agree. It was their children that got her to that place. Taylor Swift made music that the kids loved because she. She was only five years older than them and then they grew up with her. And Stephanie always made music for gay adults who are in the club till 4am yeah, yeah, yeah. She literally said, don't be a judge.

[Raven Baxter]

You know what I mean? Okay, now who other than a bunch.

[Melissa Smith]

Of homosexuals on K in the club.

[Raven Baxter]

At 6am her entire career was, let's go do ketamine in the Lower east side covered in glitter and saliva.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes. Yeah, we're leaving the house at 3am we're going to meat packing and we'll be back at 10.

[Raven Baxter]

Yes. Yes. Why? She should have been at the front of the line.

[Melissa Smith]

But you're right, the talent and the artistry is definitely there.

[Raven Baxter]

It's unspeakable. She's such a freak.

[Melissa Smith]

When you get kids, man, that kid money is unlimited because parents will spend anything to get them straight children to get out they faces.

[Raven Baxter]

It's true. Oh, you're leaving. Here, take it. Just get out.

[Melissa Smith]

When you gonna see Bluey on ice? Here's $500.

[Raven Baxter]

Just. Oh my God, how long, how many shows do they have go to? All of them. Go to all of them. No, you're right. It's like they look at this girl and it's like, you know, I'm 14 or whatever. Taylor Swift is 16 and she's making a song about, you know, kissing boys behind the bleachers or whatever. That's them and the boy. She grew up. She's like, yeah. And their parents are like, oh, yeah, I guess this is fine. And you're right, they grew up with her.

[Melissa Smith]

Yep. So yeah, here she is.

[Raven Baxter]

But I'm just like, I'm watching this woman and I've had, I've had this thought for many years. For many years. And I just haven't said it.

[Melissa Smith]

You've been stewing.

[Raven Baxter]

Awaken the stands for what you've been.

[Melissa Smith]

Doing over this for a while. I mean, I absolutely see your point. I do, because the talent, the singing alone. And I also feel that Lady Gaga's music is better than Taylor's. Like, yes, Taylor, she obviously knows how to write a bop. But I think Lady Gaga's bops are higher in quality.

[Raven Baxter]

So I.

[Melissa Smith]

But I'm an old gay, so I would think that.

[Raven Baxter]

There you go.

[Melissa Smith]

A 25 year old white girl would be like, you're out of your mind.

[Raven Baxter]

There you go.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay.

[Raven Baxter]

That was pretty much my whole thing. I was also gonna read that. Did you hear Mel Gibson?

[Melissa Smith]

No.

[Raven Baxter]

There was a pardon attorney that got fired after they refused to, I guess, pardon Mel Gibson and give him his gun rights back.

[Melissa Smith]

Mel Gibson doesn't have his gun. Well, you know what, that's probably a good thing. Let's.

[Raven Baxter]

That's exactly what I said.

[Melissa Smith]

Wait, wait, so this person refused to give the pardon and what, Trump fired her?

[Raven Baxter]

Yes. There was like a 95. There was like 90, 95 candidates or something. They rounded it down to nine. And then a separate group tried to throw Mel Gibson's name in the ring and literally said. His attorneys literally said that he was named or tapped by Trump as the ambassador to Hollywood or something. Mel Gibson, which is laughable.

[Melissa Smith]

That's not a government position.

[Raven Baxter]

Like, what.

[Melissa Smith]

What is a private industry? What are you talking about?

[Raven Baxter]

What the fuck are you. Exactly.

[Melissa Smith]

Ambassadors are for nations and territories.

[Raven Baxter]

I just. I have no.

[Melissa Smith]

What are you talking about?

[Raven Baxter]

That's why I was like, if I was her or if I was an attorney, as soon as I read that, I'd been like, yeah, of course you can't have a gun. Like, you support Trump and he supports you. No, you can't have a gun.

[Melissa Smith]

That's it.

[Raven Baxter]

But the attorney was literally like, this isn't even about politics. This is about safety.

[Melissa Smith]

You cannot. No, absolutely not.

[Raven Baxter]

He pled no contest in 2011. I remember that after domestic violence issue or incident with his wife at the time or girlfriend at the time, and lost his gun rights because of that. And this person said, this wasn't even about politics. This is about safety. And that's why they didn't. Because then they got fired.

[Melissa Smith]

The sheer corruption going on within this administration. Already sane, we would like you to.

[Raven Baxter]

Add, Mel, like your attorney literally, confidently went. Went to these people at the court and said he should have his guns back. Not because he's been a model citizen.

[Melissa Smith]

No.

[Raven Baxter]

Not because he's finished 18 courses of gun safety or whatever the fuck. Not because he's spoken to. But because Donald Trump, a felon, said that he's the ambassador to Hollywood, a position that doesn't exist.

[Melissa Smith]

Insane. Arguing for his gun rights to be restored. Saying that he had been tapped for a special appointment by the president and that he had made enough. A number of big, successful movies.

[Raven Baxter]

Not true.

[Melissa Smith]

Special ambassadors to a great but very troubled place. Hollywood, California. Why do you need a gun to be an ambassador to Hollywood? Why on earth would you need a gun to do that?

[Raven Baxter]

Perfect question. Perfect question.

[Melissa Smith]

Why would you need a why? I'm trying to figure out why you would need to do that. This is a. Hollywood, California is part of the United States of America. We're not even going outside of the country. Why on earth would you need a weapon to go. And don't you live there to go outside in your own neighborhood? What exactly are you doing in this job that requires you to have a gun? You want a gun so that you can shoot or threaten to shoot others?

[Raven Baxter]

Yes.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, this is insane. This is insane. Oh, my God, I cannot believe that. Wow.

[Raven Baxter]

Okay, well, that means that attorney read that and was like, no, Mel Gibson is a wide open psycho and this is a bad idea. Nothing has been presented to us to make me feel like he should have a gun when he threatened to end someone's life with a gun.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, yeah.

[Raven Baxter]

Just saying.

[Melissa Smith]

So many people just with like, I can't even say they're good people. They just have. Have one basic moral code and they're going to lose their jobs because of that one shred of morals that they're like, you know, I actually do take this job seriously. I take the responsibility that I have seriously. And I'm not going to let this fucking insane criminal who has already threatened and been abusive to women before have his gun. I'm not going to let him have guns. No, you're going to have to carry it illegally and go to prison. I.

[Raven Baxter]

What?

[Melissa Smith]

Okay, all right. And. And then you got fired for that, for doing what you were absolutely supposed to do. You still haven't even given me a reason for Mel Gibson to have a gun.

[Raven Baxter]

Where's the reason that he should have a gun?

[Melissa Smith]

Because Trump said so. And that's all it takes. And we're just, everybody's just. We're just all going like, okay, all right, all right, all right, all right. That actually, I actually have had. I have a head headache. No, that, that did it. After a long week of DDG versus.

[Raven Baxter]

Halle and you are fucking lying to me.

[Melissa Smith]

You haven't heard about this?

[Raven Baxter]

I don't want to.

[Melissa Smith]

This nigga got on Twitch or whatever else talking about how Halle is keeping his baby away from him and she.

[Raven Baxter]

With the baby all the time.

[Melissa Smith]

He hasn't seen. He hasn't seen his child in 48 hours or something. And he can't just come over and get his baby whenever he wants to. The baby is sick. He has, you know, some sort of virus, respiratory virus, and Hallie won't let him come get the baby. Like, who the fuck would let you come get a one year old who is dealing with like rsv? Nobody. I just want to come over and like, hold him up in the shower. Literally. Hallie whining, bitching, complaining, crying to people, the. The general Internet that Halle is this terrible mom who won't let him see his baby and all he want is his child. He'd been fighting for months and all this. And so somebody said, well, take her to court. And he was like, no, I'm not gonna do all that. And then he put out a song called don't take my son. I can't believe you haven't heard this. This has been like non stop over the past week. I.

[Raven Baxter]

You know what? I've been sleeping.

[Melissa Smith]

Okay. Oh, that must be so nice. Because when I like a lot, this his whole thing is I should be able to see my son whenever I want to see my son. I should be able to take him whenever I want to. I don't. Right. It doesn't. You don't share a home with his mother anymore. Y'all are not parenting together in the same home. So. So you have your time and she has hers. And the same way she can't come get him whenever he's with you, you can't come get him whenever he's with his mama. Especially when he's sick.

[Raven Baxter]

He's sick. I don't understand. This has nothing to do with that baby or. Or his mama. It has everything to do with a nigga not getting his goddamn way and feeling like he should be able to get his goddamn way just because he's a nigga. And that's the end of it. It's been two days. Your baby's sick. He at his mama house. What the fuck is the problem? She didn't leave the nigga in the goddamn rainforest to figure it out. She didn't go, han his ass. You don't get it, but kids at home will. So the thing is like, get the fuck over it. Like Crystal said, if you was at the house with the baby and you were, I don't know, bathing him or something, and she called and she was like, I want to talk to him or something like that or whatever, and someone was like, well, he's in the bath right now. It would be insane for her to go, well, I just want to see my baby when I should be able to see him whenever I want to. You can't see him whenever you want to because you don't share the home anymore. And where he is currently in the home that he's at is not conducive to y'all having a conversation or seeing each other when that's done. Sure. Like, it's, it's just, it's.

[Melissa Smith]

This is common. He actually said, I haven't had my son to myself for longer than 72 hours max. In a normal co parenting situation, that is very normal. That's a long weekend. Three days with your kid every week is very normal. And if he's sick and not going to see you, that's understandable. And if you are feeling some type of way because I don't know what Halle is saying or doing. But if you are feeling some type of way about it, but you refuse to get custody or visitation actually established, then how much do you really care Care versus just wanting to turn a bunch of young dumb incels against her and flooding her comments and on social media. This is not really about Halo. This is about your ego being Bruce. You can't believe that she's actually cutting off access to you. You can't just come to her house whenever the you feel about. Whenever you want to.

[Raven Baxter]

Exactly.

[Melissa Smith]

And so you're mad and you taking it to the Internet because you know all them little young dumb that follow you are gonna go harass her now. That's what you're doing. It's not about Halo at all. If it was about Halo, you would be dealing with Halle directly or you would be going down to the courthouse, one or the other.

[Raven Baxter]

It's really that simple.

[Melissa Smith]

That wasn't even my read. I can't believe you didn't hear about that. I wasn't even gonna bring it up.

[Raven Baxter]

I heard nothing about that.

[Melissa Smith]

That's incredible. Wow.

[Raven Baxter]

And I see clips of that baby all of the time because my algorithm always shows me videos of Halo either with DDG or with Atley, like all the time.

[Melissa Smith]

Well, your algorithm knows to show you DDG by himself because that's where he's been.

[Raven Baxter]

So. For what?

[Melissa Smith]

And it's like you're telling us that Hallie won't let you come get this child while he's struggling to like breathe clearly. Who would? There's not a mother on the planet that would let somebody come take her one year old when he's sick like that. There's no. There's no good mother.

[Raven Baxter]

Also been very open about postpartum depression, but y'all refuse to just like even read a word on how that works.

[Melissa Smith]

God bless her.

[Raven Baxter]

Like honestly, shut the fuck up. And shut the fuck up today and don't forget tomorrow to shut the fuck up then as well. Thank you.

[Melissa Smith]

What a this little boy like.

[Raven Baxter]

Cause you're right, they still leave comments. I saw her post a. A picture with him like last week or something like not that long ago. And I saw someone under the comment, one of the comments said like, did you know, did you get permission to post him or did you from that last. Last time where he had her. He had the baby on Kaiser Net Stream or something.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, yes. Oh yes. And he was like, oh, well, yeah, actually everybody really.

[Raven Baxter]

Postpartum. I didn't know that he was going to be on the stream. I wish that somebody would have told me. And then like ever since then, anytime that she posts something with him, his little fans or just random incels who heard about this and hate women will be like well did you get his dad's permission for him to be at your rehearsal? Or whatever it's like to me and I'll say this dads forgive me. I guess I really don't care. Eat an honest deep fried dick because guess who was snatched open so that.

[Melissa Smith]

This motherfucker could literally I grew up.

[Raven Baxter]

I'm taking him wherever the good look living I want to.

[Melissa Smith]

Yeah, there is that like the same way it it can be considered a burden to be the default parent. You can get a lot of privileges or benefits out of that too because you literally grew this baby. Like it could not be more your baby. Yes, genetically it's 50 his. And yes, parents fathers are important, but only if they are are willing to like be good fathers.

[Raven Baxter]

Furthermore, my baby is on my hip at this rehearsal because I take care of this baby and I have to rehearse. My baby was on that fucking twitch stream because you wanted to take him on that twitch stream for streams like you wanted for him to be on there and the attention to be. Look who's here everybody. Let's talk about this baby.

[Melissa Smith]

For me, I don't know these people.

[Raven Baxter]

So I can only say so much but for me, get the fuck out my face.

[Melissa Smith]

I'm far less concerned with Halo's safety when he's at rehearsal with Halle versus in some basement room with a bunch of niggas drinking and smoking or whatever the fuck else they doing. It's 30 niggas at that house. Like why I think it was just.

[Raven Baxter]

The two of them on the stream. But.

[Melissa Smith]

You had him at this house with Godwin. Regardless.

[Raven Baxter]

I don't know what God y'all not.

[Melissa Smith]

The only ones there. It's other I would have flipped.

[Raven Baxter]

I would have lost on average like 120. 130,000 people watching this.

[Melissa Smith]

I hate it. Thanks.

[Raven Baxter]

I hate saying what the fuck ever.

[Melissa Smith]

This was not even so then you're.

[Raven Baxter]

Going to see anyways.

[Melissa Smith]

I'm disgusting. I this was not even so since you've been so asleep.

[Raven Baxter]

Don't take my son.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh yeah. Oh no, don't stream it. It's a very bad song. But of course.

[Raven Baxter]

Listen, what is this called? Look at the name.

[Melissa Smith]

Go get custody if you that worried about her quote unquote taking your son. But then you said no, you're not Going to do all that. You're not going to get the courts involved. Okay, so then it's not really about having time with her, I bet you. So shut the fuck up.

[Raven Baxter]

Because I'm, I'm sure you're going to go to the court and any judge is going to say, well, what the fuck are we all doing here?

[Melissa Smith]

You're going to go to court and they're going to say, supervised visits, weekends, twice a month.

[Raven Baxter]

And then you really going to make it worse, right?

[Melissa Smith]

They're gonna go through all these twitches and be like, actually, the Little Mermaid can have full custody. And then what you gonna do?

[Raven Baxter]

That's why your, your best bet in your mind was, let me just sic incels on my baby mama. Cause that's healthy for my son.

[Melissa Smith]

Well, were you, were you so asleep that you didn't see this Dochi clip that got niggas pissed off?

[Raven Baxter]

I guess. What happened?

[Melissa Smith]

So Dochi was doing like a, you know how they do like hot ones, except it's like the to go version where it's just like, oh, I saw.

[Raven Baxter]

Her do this with Ms. Milan. I didn't watch the clip, but I saw the.

[Melissa Smith]

So her and Ms. Milan were doing the hot ones thing. And the question that Dochi asked Milan was, what's my red flag in dating? And so she wrote something down. I don't remember what it was, but Dochi was like, that's almost it. It's straight men. And so then she was just like, straight men are a red flag when dating. If I meet you and you a straight man, I'm automatically like, ooh, girl, I don't know. It might not work out. Y'all crazy. Niggas have been irate that a woman they didn't want had the nerve to say that she don't want them.

[Raven Baxter]

I just hate it, Crystal. I hate it.

[Melissa Smith]

I, I want y'all to know that y'all are. And they are mad too, talking about, well, if a, if a, if a rapper said that dark skinned black girls are a red flag, y'all would be, y'all would be in the streets and talking about how fucked up that is. Gosh, how do I put it to you, niggas? Dark skinned black women are not a threat. They are not the predators of straight men. But all you have to do is take one cursory glance at the, at the statistics to know that straight men are the number one problem for women on this planet.

[Raven Baxter]

Especially dark skinned women on this.

[Melissa Smith]

Like, the least protected, the least respected. And she's Queer on top of that. Why wouldn't.

[Raven Baxter]

She's rapped about this.

[Melissa Smith]

She's like, I actually barely like y'all. So if I am going to date one of y'all, sorry, you have to be queer or bi or trans. Like, give me something to work with straight sis. Like, come on, come on now. I. How can I trust you?

[Raven Baxter]

What?

[Melissa Smith]

That makes sense quite, quite literally though. If you don't even look at it as her being like this queer artist or whatever. Men actually are women's number one problem.

[Raven Baxter]

Just take her link.

[Melissa Smith]

Just take one look at the domestic abuse stats. Just.

[Raven Baxter]

No, it's facts.

[Melissa Smith]

It.

[Raven Baxter]

It's facts.

[Melissa Smith]

Women's.

[Raven Baxter]

It is facts.

[Melissa Smith]

Women who are married to men live shorter lives than women who are not.

[Raven Baxter]

Jesus.

[Melissa Smith]

Women who are married to women report the highest rates of sexual pleasure than anyone else.

[Raven Baxter]

Well, that's a. Yeah, that's a given. Imagine. I'm sorry, I was.

[Melissa Smith]

That's not even really relevant to the. I just felt like bring that up.

[Raven Baxter]

But your whole life you've been committed to this. You made excuses for this. And he has not even busted one nut for you.

[Melissa Smith]

He has not even made you nut one time. A lesbian can do that in five minutes or less, baby girl. Like, but it's not even about that. This is about literal safety. So first of all, rappers have talked for decades about how unattractive dark skinned girls are. That's actually quite stupid to even bring that up as an example. There's so many. You can look to Kodak Black and Lil Wayne and there are so many examples of dark skinned girls being treated like they not good enough in our culture even look at Martin. Like, look at. There's countless examples, examples of light skinned girls being held up as like the ideal and dark skinned girls being trash or not pretty or whatever else. So even more, it was an extremely dumb ass comparison in the first place. But you are our predators.

[Raven Baxter]

But you know something though? People who watched Martin.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh, that you. That Martin would hit you. You like, wait a minute.

[Raven Baxter]

No, no, wait a minute. I am.

[Melissa Smith]

No, I'm sorry, no.

[Raven Baxter]

But you're right because it's a conversation we've had. This is a conversation that like fans have had for the longest time. And we saw like a lot of fans would be like, but the tea was gorgeous.

[Melissa Smith]

What like a baddie.

[Raven Baxter]

Pam was like, Pam was so fucking fine.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes. So it's not even just ra.

[Raven Baxter]

So we knew what it was. But yes, it definitely was presented as.

[Melissa Smith]

Like yeah, ugly and nappy headed and like she was just so Hideous. Like Martin scream and run when he see her. Like all that. All of that. All of that. And that's just one example of hundreds what I'm saying.

[Raven Baxter]

Eventually she started giving it back.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes. And when she and Martin would go at it, some of the funniest moments.

[Raven Baxter]

On the show, it really is made the show. Yes. But it did start as him just making fun of her and cheating on her, even though she was like miles more confident and sexy than his girlfriend.

[Melissa Smith]

The fact that Martin doesn't have like 48 Emmys is proof of how racist film, the film and television industry really is, because each one of those actors, it is so much harder to be black funny than white funny. White people laughing, girl. Like Friends is not funny. Friends is not funny. That's not a funny show. You can like it. It's not funny. Livin single Martin. These are laugh out loud comedies.

[Raven Baxter]

We can take it back. Sanford and Son.

[Melissa Smith]

Come on, come on.

[Raven Baxter]

The Jeffersons.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes. Black funny has always been harder to do. And yet y'all playing our faces continuously at the award shows. Going, going back again. We all, we got, we all, we need. Dochi is well within her rights. And honestly, more women should say it. Of all orientations, y'all help. Just look at the statistics. We're not the number one killers of black men. We are not. Black women are not the number one killers of black men. But ask yourself, who is the number one killer of black women? All right, so that's gonna wrap up this week's episode of the Read. Check us out on social media.

[Raven Baxter]

Did they give Kehlani this grief?

[Melissa Smith]

For what?

[Raven Baxter]

Cause you know, Kehlani's child's father is not straight.

[Melissa Smith]

Oh. Oh, well. But I don't think Kehlani ever said her type was that straight niggas wore. But also, she been associated with too many straight niggas, I guess, to say that without somebody being like, yeah, that's.

[Raven Baxter]

That's true too. But she saw she had a baby with the one, it was like, whatever. But yeah, you're right. Straight men are straight men. And so it makes sense, especially if someone. A person is queer, that they'd be like, yeah, I prefer not.

[Melissa Smith]

Especially as a queer woman. Especially as a queer. Because it's not even just about you and your safety. It's also about your community, which is full of gays.

[Raven Baxter]

Exactly.

[Melissa Smith]

You're gonna bring a homophobe or a transphobe into the community. No, I got. I gotta vet you in a way that I don't have to vet a queer Nigga, I gotta make sure you don't have none of that dumb shit that the dominant culture has. I gotta make sure. And it takes some time. Whereas if a nigga was like, yeah, I'm bi. I've had three girlfriends and five boyfriends, I'm like, okay, so what's up? What we gonna do?

[Raven Baxter]

See, straight men, straight people still have this idea that being queer, gay, lesbian, whatever, it means that you are either Snoop from the Wire or you're like RuPaul. You know, there's no. Like, that is the.

[Melissa Smith]

That's the Liga Bigotigga community, right?

[Raven Baxter]

They don't think anybody who plays ball with them could possibly be gay or bisexual. I don't think anybody who work out with them or at the barbershop shot, da, da, da. So you kind of have one type of person in your mind. Probably when Dochi or someone else says that they're not attracted to straight men, it's like you're thinking, well, they're not attracted to niggas who I guess move or look or present the way that you do, right? And that's true, but it's not because of what you think it is. It's because you're a horrible person and quite frankly, dangerous.

[Melissa Smith]

That reminds me of. I'm sure you didn't see this either, the British girl who said she was starting a women's only gym. And then she decided that. And when she said this, like, years ago, she was like, of course trans women will be welcome. Trans women are women. Safe space for all the girlies. And now that she's getting ready to launch, she was like, actually, it's going to be CIS girls only. And so a lot of people are like, would you do that? So, first of all, how are you going. Are we going to have to scan our coochies? This is like a clip check to get in, right? First of all, how are you going to verify that? And secondly, I don't think y'all understand this. There are so, so many trans people that you can't clock. You just think because you can clock some of them that you can clock all of them.

[Raven Baxter]

All of them.

[Melissa Smith]

But you really, please believe me when I tell you this. There are so, so many that you cannot tell. And so the TikTok has been, when I tell you, dragging the fuck out of this girl, it's like, who Good?

[Raven Baxter]

Who.

[Melissa Smith]

Who apologizes for their old tweets being less hateful? You, like, the first person to ever be like, let me address my tweets from 2021, actually, I was like a nicer person then. And since she actually blamed it on some assault that she went through, I think at a gym, which is tragic, but also, also, a trans woman didn't do that to you, right? And she said that she had heard back from like her community, people who were like, yeah, I just really don't want trans women there. And it's like, you are going to deliberately. This is after, by the way, you've crowdfunded for however long raising money to start this gym off the premise of it's an inclusive space, safe space for all women. And now you're like, actually, no. So however many trans women were in your area who might have actually had the budget, the time, the desire to come to your gym anyway, it might be negligible, but the amount of backlash you are receiving and the number of CIS people who are like, girl, this is up. Like, why campaign on one thing? If you wanted the J.K. rowling gym for bitches and bigots, then you could have just said that from the beginning.

[Raven Baxter]

People would go, they would. But you're right, why start, you know, right?

[Melissa Smith]

Why come at it from there, right?

[Raven Baxter]

And building promotion and stuff around this thing and, and having people from a marginalized group think, oh, finally there's going to be a space where I can feel kind of safe. And then at the last minute be like, psych. That is so evil.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes.

[Raven Baxter]

I want as if trans, anybody, women, men, whatever, are coming to a gym to be like, I'm gonna fight, I'm gonna bite you. Or like many of them, much like the rest of the women are probably like, oh, God, I can work out and just do that and then go home.

[Melissa Smith]

I need my sisters to understand that all of the concerns we have as CIS women, trans women face those same dangers and more. Well, I think I'm trying to think of the differences. You know, maybe they don't need to worry about getting pregnant after being assaulted, but other than that, girl, like, the girlies are targeted, they are hunted. To turn on them is to me, a sign that y'all are so tired of being at the bottom of society that you looking to have some sort of power and oppress anybody you can. And it's sad and it's sad. And they, I think a lot of you are gonna look back at the end of your life and be like, damn, I really wasted my time.

[Raven Baxter]

That's why there are so many bigoted.

[Melissa Smith]

Niggas that being closed minded.

[Raven Baxter]

But we can talk about that another time.

[Melissa Smith]

I mean, and that's why Dochi said straight niggas are a red flag. I gotta. I need more information. I gotta run the Carfax. Cause you come at me talking about you a straight man. Now I got my guard is up.

[Raven Baxter]

You broke in and the world beats your ass, naturally, every day. So you just try to beat somebody else's ass. And it's usually the ass of your wife or sister or daughter taking it.

[Melissa Smith]

Out on people who didn't do that to you.

[Raven Baxter]

Some gay person, whatever.

[Melissa Smith]

You have some sort of. Yep. Whoever you can feel superior to. Y'all need to really work on your damn selves, though. Leave trans people out of your bullshit.

[Raven Baxter]

Thanks.

[Melissa Smith]

Yes. So again, that will wrap up this week's episode of the show. Follow us on social media, our website. This is the read.com. thank you again to Apple TV plus for having me at the screening for number one on the call sheet. Really, really enjoyed it and can't wait for it to come out, I think again March 28th. So go check it out. What about you, friend? Any news?

[Raven Baxter]

Yes, shout out to Apple TV for that as well as Severance, which I'm almost caught up on. So I'm over on Apple TV anyway. Really? I watch that. I watch Severance, I watch Lute, and.

[Melissa Smith]

I. Lute is so good. God, Ludus. Apple TV has no Mrs. God.

[Raven Baxter]

They really have. Like, all the shows are good.

[Melissa Smith]

Every last one. Severance. I saw the. The premiere. I saw the pilot and I saw the finale and I have not seen any other episodes. And I called the ending. I called it. I actually called the ending. I was like, I see nothing.

[Raven Baxter]

And of course you didn't. But like, anyway, it's very interesting.

[Melissa Smith]

I could tell from the, from the finale. I said, let me go back and rewatch this. That's on my list.

[Raven Baxter]

That's really interesting. But yeah, Apple TV shows are fierce. I can't wait to watch this new one. Oh. Patreon.com kidfury we've got watch parties, we've got movies, we've got gaming, we've got comedy and lots of fun stuff to come. And yeah, follow us on socials. And I think that's it. We'll see you next week.

[Melissa Smith]

All right, girly pops. Goodbye.