The Complicated Love of Gay

Summary

The Read: "The Complicated Love of Gay" (March 5, 2026)

Hosts: Kid Fury & Crissle
Podcast Theme: Pop culture, Black excellence, LGBTQ+ realities, and humorous shade

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Episode Overview

In "The Complicated Love of Gay," Kid Fury and Crissle deliver their signature blend of pop culture commentary, witty takes on recent headlines, and honest, often hilarious discussions about life, love, and the Black LGBTQ+ experience. The episode spotlights Black excellence in sports, recaps award season moments, debates the nuances of "Nepo babies" in sports, and navigates chaotic celebrity and social media drama. Listener letters offer deep dives into love, safety, boundaries, and family, all laced with their classic banter and insight.

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Black Excellence & Award Season (02:12–10:44)

• Morgan Price, Gymnastics Phenomenon

  • Kid Fury celebrates Morgan Price, University of Arkansas gymnast, who achieved the program’s first perfect 10 in 24 years.
    • "She stick. She was able to stick a flawless, perfect Yurchenko 1 1/2 vault... It is essentially your body becoming a hummingbird.” – Kid Fury (03:16)
  • Discussion on her journey from Fisk University, her historic titles, and the challenges in gymnastics scoring.
  • Crissle remarks on Price’s visible pride and confidence:
    • "As soon as she...got up from that landing, she was like, oh, bitch, I did that. I did the fuck out of that, actually." – Crissle (04:29)

• NAACP Image Awards

  • Shoutouts to winners: T. Sanders, Delroy Lindo, Michael B. Jordan, and Viola Davis.
  • Commentary on the show as a safe space for Black talent and community healing after recent controversies.
  • Regina Hall's award show moment and the joy of communal celebration.

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Hot Tops: Pop Culture, Nepotism, and Celebrity News (10:45–54:24)

Bronny, Nepotism, and Nike (10:50–14:10)

• Nike filed to trademark Bronny James' "B" logo, sparking riffs on nepotism in sports.
  • “Bronny’s a Nepo baby. Just peach Nepo, baby...But why can’t we have them?” – Kid Fury (12:42)
• Debate whether it matters: “This is not nepotism getting you into the goddamn White House. It's basketball.” – Crissle (12:53)

Zendaya & Tom Holland, Secret Marriage? (14:10–16:58)

• Law Roach “accidentally” outs Zendaya and Tom Holland as already married.
• Hosts appreciate Zendaya’s privacy, speculate how the public might eventually see her wedding style.
  • "I completely respect not telling us or showing Us one fucking thing." – Crissle (16:46)

Celebrity Crime & Privilege (17:00–19:20)

• Discussion on Puff Daddy's reduced sentence and how wealth, power, and fame shield celebrities from consequences.
  • "The way that money make a bitch move. Who's shocked?" – Crissle (18:09)

Social Media Drama: Doechii vs. Cat People (23:15–34:29)

• Doechii sparks outrage with her take on cats being unfriendly; cat lovers online respond fiercely.
• Fun analysis of cat vs. dog personalities, the sensitivity of cat owners, and the authenticity of pet culture drama.
  • “People act like it's a crime to dislike cats when they genuinely aren't friendly animals… Y'all be scratched and beat the fuck up by your own animals." – Doechii via Kid Fury (25:00)

Listeners’ Letters: Life, Love, and Boundaries

1. The Limits of Open Love (56:43–66:32)

• Letter from Portia: Later in life lesbian, falling in love with a woman who doesn't want monogamy.
• Emotional, poetic dilemma: wanting full commitment vs. accepting half-measures in love.
  • "I'm loving at full capacity in a container built for half measures." – Portia (59:04)
• Hosts advise honest reflection, possible therapy, and prioritizing one’s needs.
  • "How do you walk away from someone who loves you, just not in the way your heart is begging for? Is love enough when the structure is wrong?" – Portia (60:20)
  • “The longer you wait to separate, the harder it's gonna be and the more it's gonna hurt.” – Crissle (65:06)

2. Stalker Boyfriend & Airtag Terror (68:42–80:36)

• Letter from Laneo: Discovers older boyfriend hid AirTag on car, admitted to stalking.
• Caught between fear, disbelief, and guilt—should police be fully involved?
• Kid Fury and Crissle are unequivocal: file a restraining order, update the police report, and put safety first.
  • “We really have to back up from being like, oh, but I don’t want to inflict stress or inconvenience or possible criminal charges on this fucking dangerous, deluded criminal.” – Kid Fury (72:57)

3. Mom’s Floundering Clothing Business (81:27–91:21)

• Letter from Yvette: Her mother's online clothing business leads to debt; all help is demanded, none is appreciated.
• Should she keep helping or set boundaries?
• Hosts recommend clear boundary-setting, refusing to lend expertise if unheeded.
  • "If you can't take my advice, then you can't take my help." – Crissle (87:44)

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Cultural Reads: Rants, Generational Memes & Political Woes (93:04–110:34)

• Trump Fatigue & Political Exhaustion:

  • “I hate that he's just turned the planet into The Apprentice.” – Kid Fury (94:00)
  • Joint lament for America’s political and social regression, and frustration with those responsible.

• Gen Alpha’s Meme Culture: The '6, 7' Craze

  • Kid Fury discovers the “6, 7” trend months late—hosts reflect on feeling old, losing touch with youth culture, and the beauty of letting the new generation have their fun.
  • “It's nice to know that the streets ain't mine no more.” – Kid Fury (101:28)

• Jim Carrey ‘Clone’ Conspiracy (104:21–110:34)

  • Crissle clowns viral internet rumors that Jim Carrey is a clone after bad plastic surgery:
    • “Cloning is not like on Family Matters where Steve Urkel went into the transformation chamber and came out as Stephon Ur-kell.”

• WNBA Labor Unrest

  • Brief discussion on the looming WNBA labor conflict and empowerment of women athletes.
  • “Unsurprisingly, it's looking like the NBA is part of the real problem here.” – Crissle (111:56)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

On Privacy and Black Community Spaces:

“...it's just good to be around black people where you don't have to explain why your feelings were hurt at being called a nigga on stage.” – Crissle (09:07)

On Nepotism:

“I want all of the black kids to get their unearned things. Let them have it.” – Crissle (14:10)

Cat People Commentary:

“If your cat could speak, they would be like, I don't want to be domestic. That's why I leave for a week every goddamn time." – Kid Fury (27:05)

On Setting Boundaries:

“If you can’t take my advice, then you can’t take my help." – Crissle (87:44)

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Timestamps & Key Segments

• Black Excellence/Morgan Price: 02:12–05:50
• NAACP Awards Recap & Reflections: 05:50–10:44
• Bronny Nepotism & Nike: 10:45–14:10
• Zendaya & Tom Holland Wedding Rumor: 14:10–17:03
• Celebrity Crime: Puffy’s Sentence: 17:03–19:20
• Doechii & the Cat Wars: 23:15–34:29
• Listener Letters (Love, Stalking, Business): 56:43–91:21
• Read Segment (Culture, Memes, Rants): 93:04–110:34

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Episode Tone and Style

• Language: Candid, irreverent, deeply Black, LGBTQ+ affirming, and saturated with shade and empathy.
• Energy: High-spirited, playful, sometimes sharply critical, always anchoring personal experience in broader culture.
• Dynamics: Both hosts remain rooted in humor and realness, moving from laughter to seriousness with comfort and care.

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Summary

This episode of The Read is a quintessential installment, mixing deep celebration of Black talent, satirical pop culture critique, sharp takes on injustice and privilege, and heartfelt advice for tumultuous real-life dilemmas. With memorable metaphors (“loving at full capacity in a container built for half measures”), biting reads for celebrity foolishness, and thoughtful guidance on love, boundaries, and self-advocacy, “The Complicated Love of Gay” is both a pop culture time capsule and a necessary dose of communal therapy.

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For those who haven't listened:
You'll come away feeling entertained, informed, and fortified—while clutching a few new quotables and a fresh sense of what it means to be Black, queer, and wise-cracking in 2026.

Transcript

[Crystal]

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[Kid Fury]

today or well, howdy do folks. This week's episode is being brought to you by Audible and a brand new story from Kenya Barris, creator of Black Ish. This one is Big Age, a hilarious and heartwarming Audible original comedy about love, aging and finding your way in life's next chapter. So it's a lot about me, except without the love part. Big Age stars comedy legends Jennifer Lewis, the one Jennifer Lewis, friend of the show, Cedric the Entertainer and Niecy Nash. Betts. Don't you ever forget the Betts. It follows recently retired couple Dot and Bushwalks, reluctant relocation to their new Floridian home, Sunset Gardens, a senior community that is anything but relaxing. Listen to Kenya Barris new Laugh out Loud Audible original comedy Big Age Age does funny things. I was just saying this. My knees. Go to audible.com big a series to start listening today. Let us know how it goes. Let them know we sent you. Welcome back everyone to the program. Here we are in March and I am Baby Keene.

[Crystal]

And I am Regina hall and this is the Read. Thanks for joining us.

[Kid Fury]

It sure is. 28 days be damned. We are excellent in black and historic all year long, 100% in the cosmos and beyond. And so we're gonna start Black Excellence this week with a gorgeous, talented, iconic black woman by the name of Morgan Price. She's a gymnast and icon, senior veteran and inspiration in the game. She's competing at the University of Arkansas and she just scored a perfect 10. The first perfect 10 in the 24 years that this program at University of Arkansas has existed. The first 10 incredible. End of February, she stick. She was able to stick a flawless, perfect Yurchenko 1 1/2 vault when they had a meet against Kentucky. Y' all can google this up. You can do the. The YouTube, the Real or the TikTok. It is essentially your body becoming a hummingbird. You just. There's like the, the one. What do they call it? The. You have like the one bar in front of you that is essentially just for liftoff. I don't even think that the bar mattress, it's just, I guess to make you go higher, you can't see your landing. Is a really, really impressive thing to see, like, many gymnastics moves and things like that in gymnastics. But even doing this, well, like, to the untrained eye, it's like, oh, that was a 10. There's nothing wrong with that. And it could still be like a 9.9.5, right? Like 10x. So to get a perfect 10 is really, really impressive and something worth celebrating. But Morgan Price was like, how about you just hold my scrunchie because I've been doing this. She was competing in Fisk University prior to this. She was a founding member of their gymnastics team, which was the first at any HBCU in the country, which is a gag. And she was scoring perfect tens over there, too, you know, gagging the children. She's got six national titles back to back all around Championships. Swept every individual event at nationals in 2024, according to. Because of them, we can. She's just the doll, baby.

[Crystal]

Yep, that's exactly what it sounds like over there. Breaking records at one institution and the next. And I just saw that video of her doing that vault, and it's like you can see in her face. It's like even she knew as soon as she, like, got up from that landing, she was like, oh, bitch, I did that. I did the fuck out of that, actually. So congratulations, especially.

[Kid Fury]

Cause that one, like I said, I don't. I don'. They can really see their landing. So it's like one second you're running, and then I guess you say a quick.

[Crystal]

And then you're flipping in the air, right? Praying, you know, break your fucking neck, shatter your spine.

[Kid Fury]

And then I watched, like, a compilation of. Of people doing this, too. And nearly every one of them, mind you, who don't get tens do something similar where they stick and they go, whoa. Their whole team comes and crowds them. Cause it's like, girl, I would do the same thing. You didn't break your. Calm down.

[Crystal]

You could have died. Right? Right. Yeah, I'm way too scary for that. Most gymnastics I ever did was that balance beam, baby.

[Kid Fury]

That was me stretching in a big comfy couch doing the clock side shit.

[Crystal]

Not you doing the clock.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, my first yoga.

[Crystal]

That's much like a go, Ms. Price.

[Kid Fury]

What a star. Yes. Congratulations to you, superstar. All right, let's get into hot tops this week. Some more black excellence, because the NAACP Image Awards just took place. A lot of People that I love very dearly took away awards. T. Sanders, did you just win an image award? Baby, you better go the exact. Fuck off. Um, yes, it was lovely. I would like to just mention Delroy Lindo real quickly. We spoke about the fuckery at the Baptist and how them white British people were like. But you don't understand, you can't be mad because Tourette's so, you know, send that, whatever. So Ryan Coogler and Delroy Lindo were, I think, presenting the first awards, first award at the show. And Daroid, you know, all of our uncle now.

[Crystal]

Yeah, the. We actually. Did you see that clip of him when they asked him about black British talent he liked to work with and he was like, I honestly don't even know what's going on over here. He said, I don't even want to be disrespectful. I have no idea what the UK is doing. Right. I am an American uncle.

[Kid Fury]

That is so good.

[Crystal]

That's our uncle. I mean, we share him of course, but yes, big love and admiration for him and Michael B. Jordan especially, who

[Kid Fury]

just won an actor award. That's fierce.

[Crystal]

Shout out to Auntie Viola Davis that it was very Barbara Howard coated.

[Kid Fury]

It really was. It really was. I love when the girls get excited praising God.

[Crystal]

Yeah, she was like shaking, bro. She was so. Oh, I love to see it.

[Kid Fury]

Love it. Delroy said at the NAACP Image Awards, we appreciate all the support and love we've been shown in the aftermath of what happened last weekend. He went on to say that it's an honor to be here amongst our people and that it was like a classic example of turning something that could have just been really negative into something positive. And you know, obviously crowd of roaring applause and support and it really is beautiful. You know, it's not super fortunate that we be all we got, right?

[Crystal]

But.

[Kid Fury]

But it is. I mean, given how fierce, powerful, fun, motivating, beginning and end we are, it's a great place to be in Refuge, if that makes sense. I see that.

[Crystal]

Yep, it does.

[Kid Fury]

And you said like Regina Hall.

[Crystal]

Oh, yes. When Regina hall had that moment on stage where she was like, you know, let's just take a moment to send some love to Michael B. Jordan. And so everybody clapped and then she was like. And Del Rey Lindo, like, make sure they both get they applause. And then she was like, oh, you see how awkward it is when some people stand up and some people don't. Like, look at Sterling over there. He like, damn, now I gotta stand up. Cause everybody else I'm like, why would you call out Sterling K. Brown like that?

[Kid Fury]

But she's so.

[Crystal]

It was such a right. It was such a sweet moment. And then she made it funny because

[Kid Fury]

of course she did, but this is how she's probably.

[Crystal]

But, you know, that's the sort of thing that it's just good to be around black people where you don't have to explain why your feelings were hurt at being called a nigga on stage.

[Kid Fury]

Just the aftermath of last weekend anyway,

[Crystal]

where you don't have to explain it. The people just understand. So, yeah, lovely for these talented blacks. And I'm hoping we rack up at that big cracker award next week. I'm hoping we do.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. You negotiate, babes. Cause I'm just gonna hold my heart close to God and understand and acknowledge the girls.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And that's that.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Cause I feel like one battle after another win a whole bunch of shit. And on that note, in Regina Hall, I am very glad, as funny she is, and, oh, yeah, she is in there comedy. I'm very glad that the girls got to be reminded that she is a dramatic actress as well. And incredibly powerful is that. And if you don't mind, Regina, 55 years old, where looking 31.

[Crystal]

That's very black woman of you, though, like, of course, between 30 and, like, 60. You really have a hard time nailing it down.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. Let's take a break. Nia Long 55.

[Crystal]

Where y' all looked like this in the 90s? What are you talking about?

[Kid Fury]

Y' all look like. What do you mean?

[Crystal]

You've not aged my whole life. What do you mean? It's crazy. Yeah, really beautiful. Just. It was good to see.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, this isn't so beautiful. Okay, I'll skip ahead to something. All of this kind of sucks.

[Crystal]

Oh.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, well, here's something that doesn't really suck. Guess what? Jaylen Brown can eat Bronnie's titties because Nike has.

[Crystal]

Now I'm over here. Like, which Jaylen Brown? That one. The Celtics. That's right. Who said, why is Bronnie in the league? Right?

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Kid Fury]

Gotcha. Well, he can eat Bronnie's titties. B for breasts. Because I'm not Nike.

[Crystal]

Not dealing with you.

[Kid Fury]

Nike's filed to trademark his B logo and already putting it on shoes and shit. And I was like. When I saw this today, I was like, why is he there yet? Because the pros are just like, I don't know what this bitch is doing here. No shade besides the daddy, but, I mean, but he took his Little bee that looks like it's from the. The title card of Nosferatu or something. And then. And Nike is like, already, like, well, that's ours, girl. And it seems like they're putting it on in shoes already. I think these are LeBron's shoes. So here's my follow up question, right? Does anybody actually wear LeBron sneakers? And would someone be like, oh, let me get the brawnies. I don't know. I don't think I know anybody that owns them.

[Crystal]

Well, just because you filed to trademark a logo doesn't mean you're actually going to use that logo.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yeah, I understand that.

[Crystal]

So, you know, I'm sure somebody wears LeBron's shoes. Like, I mean, fucking LeBron. Right? But.

[Kid Fury]

Right. You know, and his shoes aren't ugly.

[Crystal]

Just this is. This is really. Bronnie's a Nepo baby. Just peach Nepo, baby. And I. I want to love for the young black kids. I really do. Like, I want to love them. I don't want to hate on this

[Kid Fury]

boy because, like, why can't we have them?

[Crystal]

Why can't we have this?

[Kid Fury]

You're right.

[Crystal]

Why can't we have our kids who are maybe not quite as talented, still get some looks that they don't necess deserve or have earned?

[Kid Fury]

Fuck yeah.

[Crystal]

Especially because we're talking about fucking basketball. You know? Like, this is not something that matters in the. Okay, you went for perhaps the most extreme example, but, yes, this is not nepotism getting you into the goddamn White House.

[Kid Fury]

It's basketball.

[Crystal]

Right? Right. This is the G League. So I'm cool. Yeah, I'm gonna let bronze.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, the nigga can't be trash. First of all, his father's fucking LeBron James, right?

[Crystal]

So, like, I mean, even the G League is something most of you niggas could never sniff. So it is. He's obviously not garbage. But you know, how many other people with brawny stats would Nike be trademarking a logo for a zero? We all know why they're doing it, and I'm going to let it happen.

[Kid Fury]

I don't care.

[Crystal]

I'm going to let it happen. Damn it.

[Kid Fury]

I definitely laughed when I first read this because, yes, my first thought was Nepo. The B. Must be for the baby Nepo.

[Crystal]

Birds give it to Bryce, too. And when Juri go to school on a volleyball scholarship, give her one, too. Damn it. I want all of the black kids to get their unearned things. Let them have it.

[Kid Fury]

I simply agree and let them have it. Um, so apparently, law Roach said that. That Zendaya and Tom Holland are married.

[Crystal]

This messy queen.

[Kid Fury]

I was like, why would he. Why is he telling us this?

[Crystal]

I know, and I just know. He asked Zendaya, can I just. Can I just set the bitches pussies aflame on this carpet? And she was like, do whatever you want to do, diva girl.

[Kid Fury]

Fine. I don't care.

[Crystal]

I think so. Cause the whole look on his face, he was like, oh, this is the sound bite. The girls are going to gag.

[Kid Fury]

And we did.

[Crystal]

And we did.

[Kid Fury]

We did. All he said was, the wedding's already happened.

[Crystal]

You missed it.

[Kid Fury]

You missed it. As if we would have been invited, right?

[Crystal]

Y' all missed it. Like, we just forgot to put it on our calendar or something, right?

[Kid Fury]

Oh, my invitation must have been lost in my.

[Crystal]

Oh, that must have gone to my junk folder, girl, you know we weren't invited. You know we were never gonna. And all the talking he did about, oh, you know, we're already on looks and dresses, and you knew we was never seeing none of that shit. You knew from the beginning.

[Kid Fury]

Ooh, I would love. I hope it's one of those things where, like, you know, four or five years down the line or something. Zendaya's like, here's what I wore to. Here's my wedding dress, or here's what I wore to the. And then it's just like, we all just get to nut. We all just get to be like, fuck. Because it's Zendaya and this. And it's like, oh, marriage, right? Yeah, I know she looked the fuck.

[Crystal]

Oh, you know she did. You know she did the reception, ceremony dress. I know. She was gorgeous.

[Kid Fury]

I think you fucked up afterwards.

[Crystal]

I think you're right. I think it's gonna be, like, five years down the line. They're gonna post a picture of, like, Zendaya in the nursery with their baby or something. Of course, you can't see the child's face, but it'll just be like the wedding portrait on the wall in the background, and that'll be work. And that'll be what we see from now. Wedding.

[Kid Fury]

I like their anniversary long down.

[Crystal]

She's gonna take that wedding cake topper out the freezer and be like, oh, congrats to us. Something like that.

[Kid Fury]

Here's a replication of our outfits made of fondant. Here's a maraschino cherry version of what I wore.

[Crystal]

And as much as I. As much as I would love to see whatever Zendaya looked like at her wedding, I completely respect not telling us or showing Us one fucking thing. I do.

[Kid Fury]

Cause these people are crazy, recognizable superstars. He's fucking Spider Man.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

So mind your business. I fully agree. Yeah.

[Crystal]

It was probably 30 people there. You don't have to worry about somebody trying to go live on TikTok during your wedding or whatever.

[Kid Fury]

That's right.

[Crystal]

You don't have no bunch of fucking dumb asses at your shit. So congratulations. Thank you. Law Roach for you. You just. You seized your opportunity.

[Kid Fury]

I could fully see what you're saying where he was like, ooh, let me just gag the girls. You tell me when. And I was like, girl, I don't care. Go for it.

[Crystal]

She's like, I'm in Mauritius. I. Whatever, girl. It don't matter.

[Kid Fury]

Whatever. You want to love it. Well, guess what, Puffy. Already getting reduced sentences.

[Crystal]

Exactly.

[Kid Fury]

The girl. Has he been in jail for more than a season?

[Crystal]

Is it. No. Legitimately, has it even been four or five months? Has it?

[Kid Fury]

I don't.

[Crystal]

And we already talking about letting him out early. This is on top of the short sentence he got in the first place, so.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crystal]

Look at how that money make a bitch move. Who's shocked?

[Kid Fury]

So it's. It's like a month and a half, I think they've reduced from a sentence now, which you might go like, oh, that's not crazy. From June to April, okay. Until it's from June to January, and then June to the previous July.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

Like.

[Crystal]

And again, this is on top of already getting a very light sentence compared to shit you did.

[Kid Fury]

So jumping over charges, that absolutely should have been solid.

[Crystal]

If it's not that much, then let his ass stay in there that extra six weeks. The fuck. If it's that big of a deal, then let his ass stay in there.

[Kid Fury]

What about the truth? What about facts? Just. What about Jesus? Yes. Keep him. But you're right. Money and fame, power.

[Crystal]

Yep. It's really disgusting. I'm actually very tired of seeing wealthy men do whatever the they want to do and get away with it.

[Kid Fury]

That's actually pretty awful and tiring.

[Crystal]

I'm really, really sick of seeing that. And a black man doing it don't make me feel no better about it.

[Kid Fury]

So he's gonna come out, hope he rocks, rebuild it.

[Crystal]

Oh, no, no. Maybe even worse than before. Maybe with more connections and more opportunities to do heinous things and more people in high places to make sure he is never held accountable for that.

[Kid Fury]

So he probably all has little, you know, calls and chats on the dip. Was, listen, keep the baby oil bottles full.

[Crystal]

Yuck.

[Kid Fury]

Keep Them warmed up.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

When I get up, we're going up the ladder and through the roof. I don't. Whatever.

[Crystal]

And you know he gonna be God.

[Kid Fury]

Listen,

[Crystal]

not my God, but he gonna

[Kid Fury]

thank somebody's God, right? He is featuring Kirk Franklin.

[Crystal]

Please don't say that.

[Kid Fury]

But he's gonna. I'm dead. Like you already know.

[Crystal]

No, I need Kirk Franklin to really not do that. No, I'm so for real. Somebody who know Frank can listen to this.

[Kid Fury]

Frank. Kirk. There it is.

[Crystal]

Kirk, I said do not. There's no way. You cannot do you know one of

[Kid Fury]

the big girlies are gonna take that payoff from him? Well, God said that we should just be a people, and who are we to watch? I don't know if it's gonna be Kirk, but is somebody finna do it?

[Crystal]

Kim Burrell.

[Kid Fury]

The same way that

[Crystal]

it's gonna be Kim Burrell.

[Kid Fury]

What'd they say on Family Feud? Good answer. Good answer.

[Crystal]

God help us.

[Kid Fury]

There it is. There it is.

[Crystal]

This is the worst timeline.

[Kid Fury]

Meanwhile, his side piece, Gino, whatever the hell name is on TikTok embarrassing the fuck out of herself. Now, I'm not going to speak any further about this because it is Big Bird. No Sesame Street. Like, it is one of the birdiest. No shame having est pressed still supporting him. I hope he gets out soon. Yada yada. Like, she's. Like, I don't even have words. Y' all can't.

[Crystal]

The way I don't even know who you talk.

[Kid Fury]

She's a fucking idiot. The one who was going back and forth with young Miami at a time at some point. Do you remember when young Miami just

[Crystal]

had his youngest baby or no.

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crystal]

Okay. All right. I'd never learned her name.

[Kid Fury]

Ditzy's not even the word. Like, it's just wide open. Accepting stupid. Because money.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

I'm so glad I don't love. Like, I'm not pressed.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Same for financial game, at least.

[Crystal]

Really? You know, I am so glad that I am the type of person who can be satisfied with having enough. God is just so big, you know, When I take a look at the state of the world, the fact that my bills are paid is a massive privilege that I don't take for granted. And that's enough for me. I don't aspire to have enough wealth to shut somebody else's life down or whatever. Like the things y' all want to have. The billionaire shit, Private Jetson. I do not need none of that shit. I am so grateful for the things I have. I am so glad I don't aspire to have all the money in the fucking world.

[Kid Fury]

If those are your means, based off of your work. Get the pj. I mean the intent to be like a parasite and be like, girl, look at the life I'm living. That could easily turn to absolutely nothing if I get on this nigga's nerves. Cause like I. I don't really.

[Crystal]

Because you didn't do that. You. You've been invited along for the ride and that ride is gonna last however long he says. So that's just not the way.

[Kid Fury]

I can't say shit. He in jail.

[Crystal]

Well, you know, for the next couple of months maybe.

[Kid Fury]

And even when you locked up doesn't mean that you can't move your money around and do such and such.

[Crystal]

Right. Right.

[Kid Fury]

Apparently Threads and TikTok specifically Threads are incredibly angry with one Dochi because Dochi said something incredibly funny about cats.

[Crystal]

Y' all are. Nevermind, Go ahead.

[Kid Fury]

I cannot believe they are so upset about this.

[Crystal]

We gang over King.

[Kid Fury]

Which tells me. Reminds me that cat people specifically are. Are like. It's not even just sensitive about their babies because we're obviously sensitive.

[Crystal]

Obviously.

[Kid Fury]

But it's like very. I feel like cats also require a bit more like analyzation and adjustment to kind of get there like you. And I think this was sort of part of Dochi's point. Like you have to really earn.

[Crystal]

Oh yeah. Because they don't care. They do not care if you like them at all.

[Kid Fury]

They're like, you should care if I like you.

[Crystal]

Right. You the one auditioning for my approval, not the other way around.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. I think cat people are just really connected to their pets because they're a bit different than like dogs who are pretty much unwavering in their. As long as you're good to them, don't ask. I don't know. It's like. And then you have like the people who think about all of the cats who are abused or, you know, left out places. How many cats have to be adopted? Especially in comparison to dogs. So yeah.

[Crystal]

Eh.

[Kid Fury]

But it wasn't like Dolce was like man, fuck cats. I hope all of them get left under a bus somewhere. Just like.

[Crystal]

She just said I don't like cats.

[Kid Fury]

She said people act like it's a crime to dislike cats when they genuinely aren't friendly animals. They don't want to be domestic. Just leave them alone. Like it's not organic. I'm sorry. Be for real. It's rare that cats are immediately love you without years of pain and work. Put in y' all be scratched and beat the fuck up by your own animals.

[Crystal]

I can't. I haven't heard a lot yet.

[Kid Fury]

Like, I can't believe people read this and were, like, upset.

[Crystal]

This is exactly mad. Sorry. And y' all know it. I can't. It's the fact that people are taking it personally. For me, like, yes. Why you act like she said. You user Jessica879, Miami.

[Kid Fury]

Thank you.

[Crystal]

Your cat, Mr. Mittens, is such a bitch. You have the worst cat on the. Like, it's not about you in particular. Who cares? I see people say they don't like dogs all the time. I keep scrolling because I don't fucking care. Me and my dog have nothing to do with you and your opinion. Why would I take that as a personal assault on Laney? Like, be for real?

[Kid Fury]

And again, if you have cats, how could you read y' all be scratched and beat the fuck up by your own animals and not just laugh because

[Crystal]

you know you are funny because you know you are. You gotta get scratchy for them to scratch. Cause otherwise they'll scratch up all your fucking furniture. And y' all know this. Y' all know this.

[Kid Fury]

Well, dogs will eat up your things as well.

[Crystal]

Well, I.

[Kid Fury]

Furniture, doors, zippers.

[Crystal]

My dog is so tiny, she cannot.

[Kid Fury]

When Link was a puppy, maybe like, first year and a half, she was basically like, if I can fit it in my mouth, I'm eating it. Just like, I don't care what it is.

[Crystal]

Okay, yes, they do want to eat every fucking thing they do.

[Kid Fury]

I really don't care what it is. Texture, food, not food. If I can put it in my mouth, I'm going to eat it. But, yeah, cats are so different, and they have such big personalities. I think a lot of cat parents are just, like, dialed in and supporting their baby because they feel like their babies are. Are misunderstood in comparison. But I just feel like if your cat could speak, they would be like, I don't want to be domestic. That's why I leave for a week every goddamn time. You know I'm going to come back because I know how to here when I'm hungry, but I be out in the streets. I have to go to Bella Noche. I have to go catch mice. Like, girl, I'll come back. I don't want to be domestic. I don't. I go do what I want. Furthermore, I'm not friendly. And you know that. I don't like when new people over here, old people over here. Honestly, like, I don't like other cats. You Trying to give me a brother and sister, and I will beat this up. But ultimately, it's cool. I'm. I'm. I'm comfortable here. Like, you're all right. I said. I don't remember exactly how I worded it, but I was like, I don't think cats are unfriendly. They just want you to respect the fact that they wrote the 1997 album Butterfly, as well as the follow up album Rainbow. So as long as you just know your place, they'll probably be fine with you.

[Crystal]

Acknowledge their greatness and you'll be fine. But I also feel like any other day you see cat owners talking about how they cat beat. They fucking assume for, like, the first eight years. Or some girl would be like, so I've been with my fiance for six and a half years, and he moved in two years ago, and my cat still fucking hates him. Hisses at him like, y' all talk about how your cats are mean all the damn time. So for somebody else to say, yeah, I actually don't really like cats. Cause they don't seem like they like me. And now y' all are pissed. Cats do do that, bro. They do. Y' all are being weird.

[Kid Fury]

My favorite cat videos are the ones where they're just, like, up on top of the fucking up, like, on a mantle somewhere right next to your mama's ashes. And you're just like, don't you do it.

[Crystal]

Don't you do it.

[Kid Fury]

Don't do it, Binks. Don't you do it. And Binks looking back at you like, I'm gonna do it.

[Crystal]

I'm gonna do it.

[Kid Fury]

Especially the orange cheeks. And then Paul, boom. Grab mama's ass.

[Crystal]

Mama all over the living room. That cat don't give a fuck.

[Kid Fury]

Cats are so shy. Cause they literally just be like, I know this is gonna piss you off. I'm gonna do it. I love when they knock shit over or where they just stand in front of the television. You're watching the super bowl, they're just like, oh, are you enjoying the tv? What if you looked in my asshole instead? Right?

[Crystal]

What if I just licked myself?

[Kid Fury]

That's so funny.

[Crystal]

Right here in the middle of the halftime show. Wouldn't everybody like to see that? I'll give you niggas a real show. That is how cats get.

[Kid Fury]

Cause even, like, Lainey's antics and stuff, she's a baby. And she's just like, I am, baby. I am still. Ooh, what's that smell? Oh, I remember that one. You know what I mean? And She's a kid, so she wants mommy's attention, and she wants to be playful and so on and so forth. But all of that is really just dialed into curiosity, excitement. That sort of dials down as they get a bit older. Cats, kittens, into their old age are like, I know what I like. I know what I do not like. And you ain't gonna do shit about it.

[Crystal]

Right. And what I don't like is you. And you still gonna feed me. Do it right.

[Kid Fury]

Now, I've also say that I feel like cats, you know how, like, dogs kind of have these. These, like, senses and habits that are kind of tied into old. Like, way back when they were just out living in the world. When they walk around in a circle and stuff.

[Crystal]

Yes. They remember when they was royal.

[Kid Fury]

That's the same thing.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Like, I'm sorry. Did someone build pyramids out of you? Do you have any?

[Crystal]

Were you worshiped? Were you worshiped?

[Kid Fury]

I'm sorry.

[Crystal]

Cause I have statues in my likeness. The Egyptians literally worshiped me. I don't know why y' all acting like I'm not that bitch, but I just.

[Kid Fury]

No one has built wondrous landmarks about you anywhere. So I think literally nobody kissed my ass.

[Crystal]

Nobody. Katie, in the whole planet, nobody's ever made a statue of your face.

[Kid Fury]

Now you wave that wand around with that goddamn mouse on it, and we have the good, like, whatever. I think that's adorable.

[Crystal]

Bitch, do what you're supposed to do.

[Kid Fury]

You're just moody.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Which I think is cute. I like that they have, like, a personality where they're like, I don't want to play with you today. I don't want to talk to you. And then they're like, get off the phone. I think it's cute.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And to that extent, Blink is basically a cat. Like, when I said all of that, which I believe I was like, I'm describing. I think my dog is a cat.

[Crystal]

Maybe because she's older now. Because Lainey is definitely the stereo. Like, we were walking to daycare today, and she was just forward rolling for anybody. Like, just begging, just, daddy, look at me. Just auditioning for the whole of New York City to give her one crumb of attention. I'm like, this is literally embarrassing for me. Like, it's embarrassing for me for you to act like this. She don't give a fuck.

[Kid Fury]

So in her mind, she's like, so do you want me to address my public or not? Like, do you want me to really?

[Crystal]

I want you to just walk. Just walk, nigga. I don't need you.

[Kid Fury]

This being my kingdom, like, I feel like it would actually be really disgusting of me to not get into the streets and really talk to my people. That's how she acts.

[Crystal]

She acts like I've never taken her outside before. Like, she just. Like, she just came back outdoors and it's like, girl, you come outside every day. We do this every day.

[Kid Fury]

And every day I literally.

[Crystal]

Fuck out of me.

[Kid Fury]

I literally just put this bitch harness on and whatever to go take her downstairs. She go to daycare. To this moment. She will, like, get up on hind legs so that I could put her.

[Crystal]

Yeah, oh, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Into the thing. She's just like that hype. Oh, my God, let's get out of here. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's like, do you know how old you are, bitch?

[Crystal]

Lainey has started pawing at the elevator door when it's finna open. I'm like, what are you doing? We do this every day.

[Kid Fury]

Why are you.

[Crystal]

And she wants to play with every dog she sees. And most of the dogs at like. Like this morning, one dog just stood straight and looked straight ahead like he couldn't see her.

[Kid Fury]

I love when dogs do that too. That has been dogs with Link quite a few times. That is so funny. Like, maybe I don't look over there, the bitch will stop.

[Crystal]

And lady over here twirling like, please be my friend. And this other dog is like, mommy, please give me the fuck away from this rabid toddler.

[Kid Fury]

Keep going.

[Crystal]

And I say, you know, every time, I say, I get it. Cause I don't want to start my day with something that acts like a fucking feral 3 year old in my face either. I understand.

[Kid Fury]

Can you imagine?

[Crystal]

No, thank you. Actually. So I fully get older dogs being like, please get your baby away from me. But that's why she goes to daycare. Lainey is the perfect dog for daycare. She. Oh, she loves that shit. So, you know, you got what you got.

[Kid Fury]

Well, our hearts are with you, Dochi, in these trying times.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, these white people are.

[Kid Fury]

You have learned a lesson from your. From your vile comments about cats. Even though, again, cats would agree and be like, well, someone's telling the truth. Finally.

[Crystal]

White lesbians don't want to hear that shit, though.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, hell no.

[Crystal]

They don't wanna hear that shit. How dare you?

[Kid Fury]

They don't even hear the cats. The film was bad.

[Crystal]

The cat's like. But I agree. Listen to her. Run it back. Play it. Put it on a speaker on a loop. Everybody needs to understand.

[Kid Fury]

I'm glad Someone finally told me it's

[Crystal]

about God damn time. Yes, she didn't lie. Mother. Hey y', all, we all know health issues don't follow a 9 to 5 schedule, but with Zocdoc, having no time to book a doctor's appointment is actually no problem at all. So when you're doom scrolling and panicking about your symptoms at 3:00am okay, who told Zocdoc they could tell my business. Or you know, maybe you're binge watching a medical drama and unlocking a new health here cuz you're like oh those symptoms actually sound like mine. Yikes baby. First take a few deep breaths, calm down and then go to Zocdoc anytime and find a doctor you love to make your health plan happen. Yes, even if it's way after hours. ZocDoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 150,000 providers across all 50 states. I love Zocdoc. I used it just a few weeks ago. To find a dentist, all you have to do is sign up. You can put in your insurance information where you are. You can filter by sex and I think religion and specialty, all kinds of things to find doctor you need. I found a dermatologist who I now see virtually a dentist. Of course I had to go see in person, but I could only do all of that thanks to ZocDoc because I really really hate picking up the telephone and making phone calls. Being able to do all this online, picking out my appointments right there online. And then they approve it and they send the. Oh baby. The best part is that they send that new patient paperwork through the email so you can just fill it out in advance and save all that time. It is just Zoc Doc, the best idea ever. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdot.com the read to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's z o c-o c.com the Read Zocdoc.com the Read Thanks Zocdoc for sponsoring this message. Now go take care of yourself and your health.

[Kid Fury]

Well, it's 2026 and I decided that this is the year to finally launch my line of stiletto cut press on toenails. A thrilling new venture with a market that is untapped. This new business will of course require a home online for people with boring ass feet to come peruse our inventory toe re that's where today's sponsor, Squarespace, comes in with the assisther, the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. With all the necessary tools to provide services while getting paid in the same place, I can rest assure that all my hard work hand painting beauty enhancements for your bunions will not be in vain. Featuring on brand invoices and online payments, all my business is essentially taken care of. I can even schedule appointments and use tools for email marketing. That way I can really take your pause to the next level. So head to squarespace.com theread for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the R code theread to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay. Get ready to dazzle those bitties in style with Squarespace. Big prayers and lots of love to Mona Leo. She had to. She had to, I think, postpone a couple of her dates, Memphis and New Orleans. She had to go to the er.

[Crystal]

Oh, yes.

[Kid Fury]

Found out she had a cyst the size of a softball. Woo. That was cutting off blow, causing bleeding in my abdomen. She said she had to have emergency surgery. Lost an ovary and a fallopian tube.

[Crystal]

Damn.

[Kid Fury]

Has been hospitalized for a while. At least at the time that this was pointed postage that she was waiting to be released. It was so sad to be like, that was kind of just like, declared to give you acknowledgement. And then she just kind of went into feeling so bad and apologizing. I know y' all travel to see me and buy our outfits. We'll make this up to you. From the bottom of my heart, I'm like, there's not a single person that was coming to see you, flew out to see you, bought hair, makeup, or whatever that is. Hearing this is what you're going through and is like, ugh, how dare she buy plane tickets.

[Crystal]

Right, right, right. Like, this is very serious. Actually.

[Kid Fury]

Glad that this was not worse.

[Crystal]

Yes. Thank God this cyst didn't rupture while you were on stage or something. That would have been horrific. I mean, and the size of a softball. Good God, girl.

[Kid Fury]

She did say. I do want to say, listen to your body when things are off. As a person who hates ER and never wants to go, this could have been a lot worse.

[Crystal]

Yeah, it really could have. I have ruptured an ovarian cyst. Not one anywhere near that big. But when I tell you that women who have given birth told me that rupturing an ovarian cyst hurt more than childbirth. And I'm like, well, goddamn, it was bad. I went to the ER the first time. I've actually done it twice. And I went to the ER the first time. Cause I didn't know what. I truly thought I was dying. So I, you know, I feel for her. But yes, the way she was so apologetic, I'm like, baby, I get it. Nobody wants to cancel shows, but this is not something that can be avoided. Like, it is what it is. And thankfully they, you know, you got into surgery in time and you can have a quick recovery, hopefully, and you'll be back at it soon. So.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, it does mean a lot to her. I understand. You know, as creatives ourselves, I mean, not as beautiful or talented, right?

[Crystal]

No, don't seem like that. Right.

[Kid Fury]

But you've done life things before. It means a lot. The people who are showing up to support you means a lot as well. I saw that she was emotional the other day on stage because her show was sold out. And she was just really grateful and so really wishing her a quick recovery. Lots of love. All right. Do you want to talk about two more terrible people? What time is it?

[Crystal]

Yeah, okay, sure.

[Kid Fury]

NBA Youngboy is getting absolutely dragged on social media right now, even from his own fans, because he was going back and forth with one of his kid's mom, who I guess replied to a tweet or something or comment from someone else who was talking to NBA Youngboy or, you know, this was directed to him, said, boy, shut up and get them kids. He talked all that shit about Sharonda picking men over you and your rich ass literally did the same, but worse.

[Crystal]

Well,

[Kid Fury]

and so this woman, who is not Sharonda, but a girl named Arcola, if that's how you say it, she said, ah, this the one and not the two. In reply to that thing about him doing the same, he replied to this girl, girl, fuck your baby.

[Crystal]

Is baby your baby? What?

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, girl, fuck your baby. You never try again Tell the world knock on my door to be honest, have y' all have y' all can go to court I'll gladly pay it's you I don't play or do no pretending I don't give a. This is nearly illegible written in niggas.

[Crystal]

Yeah,

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, that. That's really what that is. Anyway, she fried him. The Internet fried him.

[Crystal]

Cause what you mean? Fuck your baby. What?

[Kid Fury]

Fuck your baby.

[Crystal]

Even if that wasn't your child. It's a fucked up thing to say. Why would you say, oh, my God.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, you don't even love yourself, bitch. I know this is what he's saying. I mean, this is what she's saying back to him.

[Crystal]

Okay, okay.

[Kid Fury]

You don't even love yourself, bitch. I know. It's fuck my baby. It's been fuck my baby. When you let his finger get burned and your lying ass wife said he got bit by a dog. You and everything you stand for, you're gonna rot in hell, too. And she posted a picture of the boys burned.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God.

[Kid Fury]

So, yeah, he went back and forth, but she mostly dragged the fuck out of him. And I think eventually he just kind of took the hint that he was a piece of shit and backed off.

[Crystal]

Yeah, you're not winning this. After you said that about your own child. Like, that's not. Oh, I see here that he just had his 13th baby three days ago on March 1st. Jesus. Oh, he has a wife now. Oh, that's what the other baby mama said. Yuck. My gangsta had her baby. I hate niggas.

[Kid Fury]

He should be.

[Crystal]

Oh, God.

[Kid Fury]

He should be evaluated, my gangsta.

[Crystal]

Why do you. Thirteen kids with six, seven women. Jesus Christ. Okay.

[Kid Fury]

And was trying to, like, allege, you know, gold digger, sackchaser setup type of thing. And she was like, bitch, if I wanted money from you, I'd have put your ass on child support when this baby came out my pussy. I've been taking care of this bitch by myself for three years.

[Crystal]

Yikes.

[Kid Fury]

So that shithole be like, I don't even understand why y' all be trying to play that game when you know a woman doesn't have you on child support. Because the minute that they do, it's not like the judge is like, well, yeah, I think you should do this. Once they do that, the legal system will ensure that that child is taken care of. And if you don't have the means to do it, don't do it. Do you know what they do? You want to do what they do?

[Crystal]

What do they do?

[Kid Fury]

Guess what they do? What do they do? They throw your dumb ass behind bars. Stupid. I don't even know how I be playing these games.

[Crystal]

When they snatch that passport, that's when you really gonna start crying, right? Yeah. Because they take your child, your passport for unpaid child support. Then you really don't see it, and then you really gonna be there.

[Kid Fury]

They take your taxes. They take everything.

[Crystal]

I don't all that shit. All that shit. Run that lady her money. How are you? Never mind. You don't deserve them kids. Jesus Christ. Fuck your baby. Wow. I'm screenshotting that tweet and Going right to family court if I'm there. Girl directly work judge. You see what this man said about my child? I'mma just need to go ahead it. Cause he obviously cannot be allowed any sort of custody or visitation. He needs to be forced to financially support for this child he made. And that's it. And that's all.

[Kid Fury]

If I was the courts, I'd be doing investigations on the rest of them damn kids. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Crystal]

Cause what you mean his finger got burned, but then your wife said he got bit by a dog. Like, that's better. Cause either way, somebody wasn't watching the baby or the dog. Where was y' all grown n at when this was happening?

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, I actually rather you say, like, oh, he burned his finger than a dog bit him.

[Crystal]

Right, Right. That sounds more neglectful to me, obviously.

[Kid Fury]

Awful, right?

[Crystal]

Like, the dog.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yeah. He was out there with that dog from the sandlot, and I think he was in here watching stars.

[Crystal]

Cause why do you have a dog that would bite around my child? That. Okay, all right.

[Kid Fury]

It doesn't even look like a bite mark.

[Crystal]

So. Niggas. You know, the problem with dumb niggas is they think we dumb, too. That's really what the issue is.

[Kid Fury]

You are so right.

[Crystal]

Y' all be.

[Kid Fury]

It's always a bubble pop of like, do you know I'm not stupid? And then the deflecting starts, right? Whoa.

[Crystal]

Horrible person.

[Kid Fury]

Also alleging money grabs is one Tyler Denise Perry, who is now accusing.

[Crystal]

No, you're in fucking timeout. You are in time out.

[Kid Fury]

Whoa. Mabel Perry is now calling the other young actor, Mario Rodriguez, who's suing him for sexual assault, sexual battery, and intentional inflection, infliction of emotional distress. He is saying this young man's $77 million lawsuit is a money grab. Pretty. Same thing that he said about the other guy, Eric, or whatever his name was. Yeah. His legal team, I suppose, is saying that Mr. Rodriguez's allegations have no basis in fact or law and no merit. Okay, well, I think late last year, there was some text messages that leaked from this guy to Tyler Perry where he was asking him could help him. Like, he was asking him for money, basically to help with dental work. And so I guess, you know, team Team Medea is like. And this. Look, the guy just wants money. He's just like. I'm like, okay. While I think it's pretty fascinating that you can approach not just your boss, but, like, one of the richest, most powerful people in entertainment and be like, can I borrow some money. I think that's fascinating, right? But it's not, like, unbelievable. And if it's not like he's like, oh, I really want that new hellcat, or I've just had my eyes on a cybertruck. The text messagingly texts allegedly say, apparently brother haven't been feeling okay. Confused and a little nauseous. I got blood work. Think it's my teeth. I know it's none of your business. I don't know what to do. I know I promised you I'd never ask you for anything, but if it's what I think it is, I don't think I could do it on my own because I barely pay my bills. Scared as fuck. So when I read this, I was like, this person needs. Is asking for help for medical care. True. Untrue. I don't know, right? I do find it fascinating, though, that he could tell you, as someone who has acted in your stuff and you know Hazard's phone number, I think that it's very interesting that he could say like, oh, I could barely pay my bills. Oh, that's something.

[Crystal]

Why do y' all exchange each other's phone numbers? This man had a minor role in Madea Goes Trick or Treating or whatever. How. Why do y'.

[Kid Fury]

All.

[Crystal]

How did y' all even exchange phone numbers?

[Kid Fury]

Cause Tyler, honestly, I think that's a movie.

[Crystal]

Yeah, no, I know. No, I'm not joking. I'm literally not joking. This is. That was a true statement that I just made.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, was he in one of those dumb ass movies?

[Crystal]

Yeah, he was. He had some tiny little part in one of those movies. But you know how Tyler is. He casts niggas he wants to fuck

[Kid Fury]

that he thinks are cute. Yeah, right.

[Crystal]

But I mean, this is what I'm saying. You do inappropriate things with people, and then you wonder why they turn around and ask you for money. As if money's not the whole reason that people are around you. Come on, this isn't complicated.

[Kid Fury]

Mario, probably by way of his legal team as well, said, I wanted to. And this was like. I think when the text messages came first came out, now that Tyler and his team are saying, oh, you know, gold digger, there's another one. I mean, so Mario's people said, I want to briefly respond to what's being said about me right now. People are pointing to messages where I was politeful, grateful, or vulnerable, trying to use that to discredit me. When someone has influence over your career, your income, your future, you don't feel free. Survivors often stay cordial they often ask for help when they feel desperate. That does not mean abuse didn't happen. Those text messages were sent at a time when I was especially vulnerable. As can be seen from the context, continued financial support and access are not inconsistent with abuse. They're often part of the power dynamics that follow it. Hmm. I mean, I guess we'll see what happens.

[Crystal]

Yeah, anything can be true. All of that is very possible. And this goes back to my original point of why would you, Tyler Perry billionaire, be exchanging phone numbers with somebody who had a bit part in one of your shit movies? Why would you be doing that?

[Kid Fury]

There have to be quite a number of people underneath you, right? That your cast members literally could reach out to stay in contact with or even say things like this. Why are these young men that look very similar, all conventionally attractive, why do they all have your phone number?

[Crystal]

It doesn't make sense to you.

[Kid Fury]

You have to have people underneath you. You don't let them write anything for you. But I know that they do other things. Like a machine over there, somebody's answering the phone. Sexy men have your phone number, right?

[Crystal]

Somebody's answering the phone over at my type, which is just so funny that that's the name of your production company because it would be your type, wouldn't it?

[Kid Fury]

But wait, it is, isn't it?

[Crystal]

My T Y P E like Tyler Perry, Isn't it my type? Shut your eyes. Somebody's answering the phone. I'm honestly feeling like I'm choosier than Tyler Perry is when it comes to giving out my phone number. And that don't make no fucking sense because.

[Kid Fury]

Wait, what? They said yes.

[Crystal]

I told you. Like, what do you mean? I told you. But yeah, I, yeah, I feel like it's harder to get my phone number than Tyler Perry's. If you got abs.

[Kid Fury]

No, for real.

[Crystal]

And them big man muscle titties, I feel like that's all he looking for.

[Kid Fury]

Pecs, pectoral muscles.

[Crystal]

Yeah, there we go.

[Kid Fury]

Big man muscles.

[Crystal]

You knew what I mean.

[Kid Fury]

That's what I'm gonna call them now. Big man muscle.

[Crystal]

Titties. Titties, yeah. So yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, we'll see what happens. I mean, is it absolutely impossible that these things could be money grabs? Of course not. They could be. Is it also possible that Tyler Perry had incredible and obviously inappropriate relationships with people in his team?

[Crystal]

It is, yeah, it is, yeah. It's very easy to believe. Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, yeah.

[Crystal]

Cause how many women who had small little no name parts in a movie, in a Tyler Perry movie have his phone number and just be texting him about.

[Kid Fury]

That's an interesting question.

[Crystal]

Teeth or whatever the fuck else, right? I'm betting the number is very close to zero. All the women who have Tyler Perry's number are fucking Taraji and Jill Scott. You know, like, yeah, very successful, well established. I just would be willing to guess so.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, Erin McGruder basically said this

[Crystal]

in like 2006 and didn't lie. And it's just like it. It gets truer as it seems. It seems to get truer as the days go by.

[Kid Fury]

R. Kelly. Yeah.

[Crystal]

Yuck.

[Kid Fury]

All right, that's it for Hot Tops this week. We are gonna take a brief break and then we're gonna come back and listen to your mess.

[Crystal]

Hey, y'.

[Kid Fury]

All.

[Crystal]

You know what really grinds my gears? The fact that everything these days feels like it costs so much more than it used to. And I do mean everything. Groceries, gas, all kinds of bills. It all adds up. And we've all felt that pressure of trying to make our money stret a little further. I am being so much more careful with my spending. I actually have a budget that I am very strongly sticking to these days. I'm double and triple checking prices. I'm comparison shopping all that to try to spend as little as possible when the cost of everything is skyrocketing. So when your tax refund hits and you're thinking about what's the best way to keep more money in your pocket without giving something up, I have a real life hack for you. Switch to Metro and save with no activation FEES and get one line of 5G for only $25. Yes, only $25. And no contracts that get in the way. But the best part is that you can keep the phone you love and keep your number. That's a lot of ands, but that's exactly the point. More money in your pocket, better value. All at Metro T Mobile. So get that more for your money feeling. Only a Metro. Visit your local store or metroby t mobile.com and switch today. $30 first month, $25 after with autopay.

[Kid Fury]

Woo. I'm parched. And you know what would really do my thirst? Something spectacular. It'd be a crisp sprite, zero sugar. That's right. Unk is watching the sweets. Okay. Cause summer's coming up and I'm trying to be thought Tiana. So you get the crisp lemon lime flavor just without the sugar. And there isn't like any crazy compromise and hidden asterisk and, you know, National Lampoon like mystery of what's actually happening to you. It's refreshing. And as someone who might be obsessed with carbonated beverages, it just gives me exactly what I need. So try it out. Zesprite. Zero sugar. Obey your thirst. Damn. I've always wanted to say that. Hello folks. We are back and it is time for your listener letters.

[Crystal]

Yes, it is. Send your questions to askthereadmail.com we may just read them aloud on the show. Glory to God. Let's dig in and see what is up first. Oh, here we go. This letter comes from Portia, who says, Dear Kiff Hearing Crystal, I fear I am in a romantic horror film where the villain is my own hope.

[Kid Fury]

Whoa.

[Crystal]

I'm a later in life lesbian and this is my first time dating another woman.

[Kid Fury]

Later in life lesbian.

[Crystal]

We started dating six months ago and she's everything I've been looking for. Gorgeous, kind, emotionally open, affectionate, and genuinely cares about me. We have amazing chemistry and great dates, which always turn into what we call overnights with laughter and intimacy and real connection. Dykes, she tells me. She tells me how special I am and how much she adores me and feels so blessed to find someone like me.

[Kid Fury]

Oh my God, this is so cute.

[Crystal]

All that being said, she doesn't want to be monogamous, which, to be fair, this is something that she has said since the very beginning. Okay, when we first started talking, I thought that was fine. I've been through the ring of relationship wise and I told myself that I don't need traditional commitment. Turns out that was a lie that I convinced myself of to survive my previous heartbreak. Because now I am deeply, embarrassingly in love with her and I want to be chosen like somebody's first draft, not an add on gay. Gay as fuck. Even the way you worded that was so right. God. Okay, the emotional collapse moment happened during a date when we went to one of the bars she frequents. I've been out with her at her spaces before and met quite a few of her friends. She's never hid me and is very much into PDA and isn't shy about showing that I'm special to her. However, this time a guy approached her and asked if I was her girl and she says sometimes that word has been haunting me like a ghost with wi fi. I really don't.

[Kid Fury]

That. I'm sorry, I'm stealing that. That was incredible.

[Crystal]

I really don't want to leave her and she's told me that she doesn't want to lose me. Being with her feels so good, but underneath I feel this constant ache Like I'm loving at full capacity in a container built for half measures.

[Kid Fury]

I'm gonna throw up, right? Yes, you might as well just send us a link to your Amazon ebook or whatever.

[Crystal]

Wait, where's the fucking wedding website? Okay, when we talked about it afterwards, she told me again that I'm special and important to her and said that she was sorry she couldn't give me what I wanted. She said she wanted to reassure me of my place in her life and that she'd do whatever she could to make sure I knew and felt that, but that she is still not looking for a monogamous relationship. We were fine after that, and she asked me not to, quote, unquote, switch up on her, but I already have. Internally, as time goes on, my feelings for her continue to grow. I've been feeling like my heart wants security and exclusivity now, but I don't know how to hold that truth without losing her. What should I do? How do you walk away from someone who loves you, just not in the way your heart is begging for? Is love enough when the structure is wrong? And why do I keep wanting people who feel like home but don't make space for me to move in? Help me, please. I am tired and dramatic. Yeah, you are.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. Yeah, you are.

[Crystal]

Thanks, Portia. Okay. Cause wanting people who feel like home but don't make space for me to move in is just a little too poetic for this fucking pop culture podcast.

[Kid Fury]

The whole thing. The whole thing.

[Crystal]

Oh, you are in your feelings, Portia. This is gay as hell. Woo. Jesus.

[Kid Fury]

I think that you hit on a couple of things in this. First of all, I don't. I think that you. This is like a classic case of I'm so infatuated with this person at the beginning. I'm so infatuated with this person. I'm so locked in that I will not only just, like, pass these red flags, I'll collect them and make a little gown. Oh, yeah.

[Crystal]

Cutesy.

[Kid Fury]

Because. Because I don't believe this idea of, like, oh, yeah, I don't. Monogamy. Why? Like, I don't believe that that was ever tea for you. I think it was an adjustment that you made to stick with this person you wanted to stick with. They were dead serious. Like, you were not.

[Crystal]

She really meant that.

[Kid Fury]

And, yeah, so many people do.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

But I'm also. I could not help but bookmark this moment where you said that poetic shit that you just did. Chris just spoke about, why do I keep having this experience? I think that's something to dig into first, possibly with a therapist. But if this is something that you recognize is not new or unlike you and your behavior and relationships, I think that you really need to address that first. Because even if, let's say, you break things off with this one, she, you know, you can both go your separate ways, all amicable. Who's to say that she won't get into another relationship with someone just like this or with similar temples? You have to figure out what that is first. But I wouldn't even go on that quest for understanding with the goal of like. And then I'm gonna be with this bitch. Maybe you will, maybe you will not. But I think that that's something to dig into for yourself and then see what comes out of it on the other side. My guess would be that you are going to be pretty certain in how you would like to maneuver in relationships. Monogamous, probably. And yeah, probably having as much confident, confidence, and, I don't know, just confidence and boundaries around how you feel in relationships. The same way that she does, because she's like, you obviously matter to me. I will boost things up a taste so you can feel that you're my bottom bitch, But I'm not gonna stop. So what then? It's just like, Mm.

[Crystal]

Especially when she's.

[Kid Fury]

You can't be struggling and she's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Crystal]

I mean, it could be, Portia that, you know, this didn't. You've been in this situation before and things didn't work out because you were trying to make it work with men and that wasn't your portion.

[Kid Fury]

Mm.

[Crystal]

And so now, you know, you were like, oh, yeah, I don't need monogamy. Cause you were still dealing with a heartbreak. You were still, you know, your feelings were still hurt. And so you were like, yeah, I've been through a lot. Whatever. I don't need traditional commitment. And now you know better. And so it could just be that you learned the lesson of I'm not the polyamorous type. Now, granted, y' all have only been dating six months, and the fact that you feel this strongly about her is just.

[Kid Fury]

Just again, gay.

[Crystal]

Really gay. This is really same sex of you. This is very same gender loving. But it could just be that you've learned the lesson that people who say they're non monogamous are not for you. And maybe, maybe, maybe it's just that maybe you take that lesson, you wrap up this connection, you spend your time grieving, and then you go right back into the dating world knowing that when somebody Says that up front, that's not for you. Of course, what Kip Fury said about if it's constantly a pattern and all that, maybe you need to explore that more deeply or enlist a therapist to help. Of course that's valid. But, yeah, I mean, how do you walk away from someone who loves you, but not in the way that you want or need? It's difficult to do. It might be the hardest thing to do because it's like, damn, there's really nothing wrong with this connection. There's nothing wrong with you. Like, you're an ideal partner, except for this one very important thing that actually is a deal breaker. So it's challenging. But I would remind you, if I were your friend, I would say, you know, the longer you wait to separate, the harder it's gonna be and the more it's gonna hurt. Cause she is still 30 toes down on not wanting monogamy and you still want her to be your one and only. So, again, the more you drag this out, the hard it's gonna. I don't want you to still be crying come Christmas time. This is all I'm saying. Like, girl, if you do it right now, then when summer roll around, you'll be ready for pride. Oh, bitch, you ain't never had a pride before.

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crystal]

You ain't never had a pride.

[Kid Fury]

Preach, baby.

[Crystal]

You wanna be single during pride, okay?

[Kid Fury]

Or you might fuck around, go to Pride, and be like, you know what this polygamy shit is, Tea? Because I got about 3, 4, 5 MoJo's, so you let me know what time it is.

[Crystal]

So. Actually, I think March is a great time to break up. Cause you still have enough. The weather's still kind of shitty. People not really in the street. I mean, maybe in la, they out there partying. You know, they live a different life than the rest of us do. But, you know, anywhere else this is. It's still at home time. And you can get over the hump. Yeah. And you can spend the next few months, clean up your feelings and then pry, roll around and you ready to hit the streets with the girls.

[Kid Fury]

I agree.

[Crystal]

I'm just saying it is difficult, but sooner than later, babe. It's only gonna hurt more the longer you wait.

[Kid Fury]

Cause your boo baby got her calf stuck like Morgan Price. She's just like, yeah, I know. Wrong minding.

[Crystal]

Yeah. But good luck to you. This is just. Okay. God damn.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. Cute, but also like, girl, just write like you. What was she trying to impress?

[Crystal]

And I bet you this is Portia's like, it's Just naturally how I feel.

[Kid Fury]

It just came out like this, 1000%.

[Crystal]

She didn't even try.

[Kid Fury]

I knew her to be Hamlet, but it was just.

[Crystal]

I want to be the first draft, not an add on to your value meal or whatever. Like. Like what? You be haunting me like a ghost with wi Fi.

[Kid Fury]

Deborah Cox. Too much.

[Crystal]

Oh, God.

[Kid Fury]

Oh.

[Crystal]

To have my first girlfriend again. Actually, you couldn't pay me to go back to that.

[Kid Fury]

Actually, I was like,

[Crystal]

you sure? That crazy relationship that was off and on for, like, seven years. No, thank you. No fucking thank you. Good luck, babe. Our next letter comes from Lane O. Who says, hi, Krystal and Kid Fury. I'm a black gay male in my early 30s, and a few months ago, I started seeing a guy who is 40. He never officially asked me to be his boyfriend, but after only a month of dating, he told me he was in love with me, gave me a promise ring, and talked about marrying me after I finished school next year. It felt intense and a little fast, but I tried to just take everything at face value. One night after leaving his house, I got home and received a notification from Apple saying that an airtag was detected near me. I went back outside and used the Find My app to ping it, and I could hear the sound, but it wasn't inside my car. It was coming from outside near the driver's side tire. With the help of some neighbors, we found it. Yep. Yep.

[Kid Fury]

That is diabolical.

[Crystal]

We found an airtag hidden inside my front bumper in a disguised black box with adhesive. We actually had to partially take the bumper apart to get to it.

[Kid Fury]

How the fuck?

[Crystal]

The next day, I filed a police report and told them where I had been, but I said I didn't know. Who could possibly do this? Later that night, I used Apple's feature to see more information about the airtag. It showed a serial number and the last four digits of the phone number it was registered to. I looked at those last four digits more closely and realized they matched the guy I was dating. I texted him and asked directly if he placed that in my car, and he denied it completely, saying that he didn't know how to use air tags,

[Kid Fury]

which maybe it was a coincidence, like that mouse. Anyway. Fuck is wrong with these niggas?

[Crystal]

He acted all concerned, bought cameras and a floodlight for his house, and helped me investigate. I started doubting myself.

[Kid Fury]

Wow.

[Crystal]

And wondering if it was just a crazy coincidence. A month later, we were in his car after dinner and got into an argument. He admitted that he had recently driven around my apartment complex for hours when he didn't see my car and waited there until I got home.

[Kid Fury]

Why the fuck would he admit that?

[Crystal]

He even told me which car I parked next to and what time I arrived, which upset me deeply. In the middle of that heated conversation, I asked again if he put that airtag in my car, and this time he shouted, yes, I did. After that, I returned the gifts he bought me. The next day, I sent him a firm message telling him not to show up at my home, work, or anywhere else I am, to not follow me or wait for me or to tamper with my vehicle, and that I would involve law enforcement immediately if he did. He replied, okay. It has now been two days of no contact. In a strange way, I feel lighter because he had expected constant check ins when I woke up, left work, and got home. But I'm also scared because he knows where I live and he has already demonstrated stalking behavior. The level of planning it took to buy, set up, disguise, and install that airtag feels calculated and invasive. Right? My friends think I should update the police report now that I have his verbal admission, even though it wasn't recorded. I don't necessarily want to ruin someone's life if I don't have to, but I'm also concerned for my safety. How would you move forward in a situation like this? Would you pursue further police involvement? And how do you process and move past this kind of violation? I'm struggling with a mix of anger, disbelief, and fear. A part of me almost feels empathy for him until I remind myself of just how much he violated me. Any advice would mean a lot. Thanks, Laneo.

[Kid Fury]

Lanel Get a restraining order immediately.

[Crystal]

Baby. Fuck that. N. If he. No, I'm sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead.

[Kid Fury]

I can't even.

[Crystal]

No, go ahead.

[Kid Fury]

First of all, I would have been out the door the moment that he said, you know, sometimes a girl needs to know that she's appreciated for all the things she does with some sort of token of love.

[Crystal]

Shut up.

[Kid Fury]

Cause without it, her young heart won't know. Like, bitch, you're 40. Giving me a promise ring. Something's not right.

[Crystal]

Immediately. Immediately. Get me out of here.

[Kid Fury]

Not only did he place an airtag on your car, which is terrifying. That's you from Netflix. That's American Psycho. That's Misery. But not just like, oh, I used some scotch tape. A black box. Yeah, like a bowing.

[Crystal]

And the way he went to great lengths to hide. Like he didn't just throw it in the fucking glove compartment or something. That nigga did his best to conceal that airtag from you, like, you wouldn't have a car part. Yeah, yeah. Mm. Mm.

[Kid Fury]

I would immediately be getting papers on this nigga. This isn't even just like, oh, we had a bad breakup because I called this nigga out for cheating and so now he stay outside my house. That's still something to call the law.

[Crystal]

Oh, yep, it is.

[Kid Fury]

But this person did some like, like, really, really alarming stuff.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

Um, we really have to get back. We have to back up from being like, oh, but I don't want to inflict stress or inconvenience or possible criminal charges on this fucking dangerous, deluded criminal. Like, I don't.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

I don't know what. What more we need to do. This person needs to be very far away from you. And I think that the law should make it so. The fact that he admitted to stalking you.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

Is like, terrifying because most stalkers would just not tell you or they would. They would do it from afar. You know, like, the girls would, like, leave a letter in your. Your mailbox, like, send you a picture somewhere, some shit. Which is still terrifying.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

But how many bitches be like, yeah, I be driving around your complex and I know where you park and what car parks next to you. What else does he know that he ain't telling you?

[Crystal]

Too much.

[Kid Fury]

Right?

[Crystal]

Right. If that's what you're willing to admit, then what are your secrets? I agree with Kid Fury. You're not the one who would be ruining his life. He is, because he is the one going around stalking people and putting tracking devices in their fucking cars. Okay? You're not. You can't. It can't be your fault that he is held accountable for the fucked up things he's doing. Like, that's just not true. He don't get to violate you and then just go on about his life like it don't mean nothing. I agree with your friends. At the bare minimum, even if you don't go to the lengths of getting a restraining order, absolutely update that police report saying that you know who did it is such and such person. So I mean, just bare minimum that. Although I do think the restraining order is also a great idea, but they'll probably suggest one. Right, right, right. The police are gonna be like, so while you here, Form 828 9B is the restraining order document. Like, let's go ahead and get that filled out as well. I mean, or they might not take it seriously because it's same sex relationships and they don't tend to take domestic violence and other Issues like that in same gender relationships very seriously. So it could either way. But I do understand. I understand your feelings because I've been in this same position where a nigga put their hands on me. And I was like, oh, I'm not gonna press charges. Cause I don't want your life to get worse. And in hindsight, I wish I had done that. But I also have a lot of empathy for me and just the fact that I was going through something so traumatic and so fucked up, you know, I was just doing my best at the time, so. Right you are. You're dealing with a lot of fear right now and anger with somebody that you thought, you know, you could potentially build something real with the red flags again. Like, you. You just kind of. You wanted to believe that things could just be this nice or things could just be unfolding this quickly. But the promise ring was the sort of thing. It's kind of like with the last letter with Portia where it's like. Like, soon as somebody is doing something like that, four weeks after we met. First of all, promise rings are for children. But even if they weren't, girl, Tiffany

[Kid Fury]

Evans was like 12.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I'm so. Promise rings are for adolescents to give to one another. They're not for people in their 30s and 40s. At that point, they're literally just like, engaged.

[Kid Fury]

Isn't it so cute that we're, like, in love as seventh graders and we can't, like, legally get married and have a token of that? But here, this means that I promise to be good to you and you promise the same thing. It is literally for children.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Telling you that he was in love with you and giving you a promise ring. These are kind of red flags that you know in the future not to ignore. This is a sign this person is not. Everything's not screwed too tight up there because why would you behave this way? And also, you knew in your gut when you saw that the airtag was registered to that phone number. You saw the report. Yes, you knew. You knew in your spirit, but you wanted to believe that there was a chance that it wasn't. And you let this nigga go through the rigmarole and the absolute ridiculousness of buying security cameras to do what, nigga? To record. You going to insist? No, sorry. Somebody who will do something like that, pretend to help you look for something that they did or terrifying.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, no, you'll take my life, you know? Scream 8. I know what you did. Not even last summer. Yesterday. Yeah, I don't like. No, absolutely not. I understand that it was a surprise when he pulled out that small velvet box with pink ribbon tied, and you wondered what was inside.

[Crystal]

I hate you. Stop it.

[Kid Fury]

He said, I promise not to hurt you. I promise not to lie. But then he did both of those things.

[Crystal]

Girl. Yeah, adults just.

[Kid Fury]

I would call the Avengers. Keep this bitch away from me very far.

[Crystal]

And, I mean, if you see him anywhere, I don't care if it's the parking lot at a bar. Call the law immediately. Girl, put a ring, camera, or something on your door so that you can catch the comings and goings in your home. Whatever you need to do. Make sure all your friends and family know that this person. If anything happened to me, y' all can't get ahold of me. Find this nigga. Share your location with some people you trust. Things like that.

[Kid Fury]

You had to take the bumper apart.

[Crystal]

Insane. Oh, my God.

[Kid Fury]

Get to that tag. That is terrifying.

[Crystal]

God. Oh, my.

[Kid Fury]

And the gag is. That would have been appalling and unbelievable if they were, like, 23. Yeah.

[Crystal]

At 40 and early 30s. Inexcusable. Inexcusable. It's something wrong with that man. But that's not your problem. Take care of me.

[Kid Fury]

I would be worried for the next person I date.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Kid Fury]

It's giving. Like, is your life in danger?

[Crystal]

And this is why I would encourage you to do whatever you can legally in order to not just protect whoever yourself and whoever you date next, but whoever he might run into next. Make a paper trail so that when somebody googles him, they say, what is this about stalking your ex and installing tracking devices in his car? What the fuck is this? Police report. This is. What is this? Like, just something for the next man to see.

[Kid Fury]

What's. To prevent him from continuing to do it to you or someone else if he faces no consequences. Right.

[Crystal]

So I hope you do do that. But even if you don't, please, at the bare minimum, set up some security for yourself and stand on it if you see him anywhere near you.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. And I agree about telling family and friends as well.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah. Got to. But. But do your best to protect yourself. We. It's. So this is what's so scary about dating. Like, you really don't know who you gonna fucking meet, girl. And even if you have girl, let's say it was a month in, and he said, oh, I love you. Here go a promise ring. And you were like, oh, you're out your mind. Goodbye. He might still have been stalking you.

[Kid Fury]

He might have still been doing, like.

[Crystal]

Cause at that point, even though y' all have only been seeing each other for four fucking weeks. Something in his mind has him thinking that this is the right way to behave or an appropriate thing to do. Like whatever he got going on. That's not for you to worry about. You. Your first priority has to be your safety.

[Kid Fury]

So if I can pour into me again. I'm so glad I don't like niggas this much. There will never, ever be, like, never. I don't care where. None of you think is that bad.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I get it. All right. Good luck, Laneo. Seriously, do everything you can to protect yourself, babe. Our last letter comes from Yvette, who says, my mom received some money two years ago and wanted to start a clothing business with it. The initial idea was to sell clothes for special occasions, weddings, red carpets, et cetera, and I was with it. However, things started to decline rapidly as she met with some difficulties in her search for clothing suppliers. Imagine my shock when she started purchasing dresses on pretty little thing. But I said, all right.

[Kid Fury]

Uh, oh.

[Crystal]

Then she paid thousands of dollars to have a website built. The designer was not meeting deadlines or understanding my mother's vision of the website, so I had to pick up the slack and met up with him for weeks to get everything done. Two years later, and out of the 100 pieces of clothing she's purchased, maybe 10 have been sold, all to family and friends. In real life, my mom purchased a credit card terminal that has barely been used. So to avoid additional fees, I had to call the merchant and take care of the return process for the card terminal. Since my mom said that doing this was too complex for her, now she's using AI models to update her website, and I have to constantly.

[Kid Fury]

I was wondering when it was gonna

[Crystal]

get today, and I have to constantly help her with this and that. Whenever there's a technical issue with the site, I have to take care of it. But when I try to give her advice, which is backed by my experience working in communications, I'm accused of not seeing her vision or speaking failure into the business.

[Kid Fury]

Yikes. Well, what could have turned into an extra mommy?

[Crystal]

What? What could have turned into an extra source of income has just become debt, and I'm tired of having to help with a project that I plainly dislike. But I also feel bad for not encouraging. For not encouraging her as much as I could. What should I do or say to distance myself from this endeavor while still being supportive? Or do you all think I should be supportive at all? Thanks, Yvette.

[Kid Fury]

This one's a little tricky.

[Crystal]

Mm.

[Kid Fury]

I Think it depends a lot on, like, your relationship with mom. History with mom is this just like, oh, I love my mommy so much and I'm so proud of her, and I really wanna support this. It's a lot of work, and I don't think that she's getting, like, the direction and how some of this works. And that's really frustrating because it's not my business and I feel like I'm running it.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

But I just love my mommy and I wanna support her. Then there's, like, I feel obligated to this because it's my mom and I don't want her to feel bad, but this business is a flop. I don't see why we're doing this. I don't believe in it. You know what I mean? If it's just, like, pressure and you feel like you're doing it to, you know, to appease her or you feel obligated to it, I guess, distancing yourself. I honestly can't think of anything Crystal. Besides just out loud saying the boundaries.

[Crystal]

I'm not doing.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, I can't. I have my own stuff that I have to do. Honestly, like, I don't really have the time to, like, micromanage and stuff. If there's anything, like, really big. If you have any questions about. So you can text me, email me or whatever, but, like, I genuinely can't. I don't know how else I would

[Crystal]

approach it, because what you supposed to do realistically? Like, it sounds like your mother had an idea for a business without having any business know how or acumen or she just thought, oh, people need nice things for special occasions. But she had

[Kid Fury]

mommy. Why would they come to you? Right?

[Crystal]

Like, I don't. I'm trying to be kind about it, but, like, of all the places to buy clothing, and especially if it's something we can get off sheen or pretty little things.

[Kid Fury]

Or pretty little things, Right?

[Crystal]

It's like, this is very. It's giving fashion nova. Why would I pay a markup to get it from you? You know, so it. At this point, it is debt, which is a shame because this was money that she came into. And yeah, I'm sure everybody. It's been two years. Y' all would love to turn a profit here. But for me, the. I think Kip Fury's right about, like, it depends on your relationship with your mom. And it does sound like you're fucking tired of it because. Because it's not just that you're being asked to handle all this other stuff. It's that she doesn't value you outside of the things she asks you to do.

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crystal]

So that is why I would be retracting my support. Because it's like, if you would listen to me, I wouldn't have to drop the things I'm doing to come bail you out every five or six days. But you don't even listen to me. And then I still come over here and help you. And one of the things I noticed in this letter, Eyvette, is that you kept saying, I have to help her with this. I'm constantly doing that. I have to do this. You do not have to.

[Kid Fury]

You really don't.

[Crystal]

And it's important to remind yourself of that, that you are not actually forced to do this. You feel a great attachment to your mother, or you feel a deep sense of obligation to her, and so you are choosing to do that because of those feelings, but you don't actually have to. And so telling yourself that, that may really help illuminate for you whether this is something you can continue to do. Because sometimes you tell yourself, I don't have to do this. And so it's like, okay, I don't have to, but I'm choosing to. I want to help Mommy. Or you can say, I don't have to do this, and I'm not going to. Like, girl, I'm tired of this. Because again, if you. If you calling me every time something go wrong with the website because you don't know how to log into WordPress or whatever, then how is it it. When I'm trying to give you advice on these things, all of a sudden I'm. I'm. I don't see the vision or. I'm speaking failure into the business. I don't have to speak failure into the business. The business is failing.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. This is failing.

[Crystal]

You have not. You have not turned a profit, not one month. That's not me speaking failure into it. The failure is already in there. I'm you. If you cannot be coached or helped, then how is the business going to grow or change or start doing any better? Cause if you knew every goddamn thing, then why do you need my help again? It'll just. Your mother's not being rational. Yeah, your mother's not being rational. And nobody would do this for her but you.

[Kid Fury]

Exactly.

[Crystal]

Cause I'm sure you're not being compensated for your time and effort and energy and all. I'm sure you're not. So nobody would be volunteering their expertise in this way like you are. That. That's why she Continues to, I don't wanna say take advantage of you, but she keeps reaching out to you knowing because you're gonna keep doing it. So.

[Kid Fury]

Yep.

[Crystal]

I would, I would say quite plainly, if you can't take my advice, then you can't take my help.

[Kid Fury]

And that can feel wild because it can. Most people don't do this, so it's like not many people have the training or preparation to. With their parents, basically set clear vocal boundaries. So yeah, it could feel really strange or unnatural, but you just have. I would say you have to do that. Not you have to update your model WordPress.

[Crystal]

Right. Because now you're using AI models. Okay. People know when I go to a website and I see AI models or like just clothing floating around, I know for a fact you don't have them clothes in stock and ready. I just know you want something and

[Kid Fury]

that's why you're not interested. It won't click.

[Crystal]

You don't have physical clothing items that the girls can put on and take pictures in. I. I'm not trusting your. Your website. And then it can't be for this special of an occasion again, if you're, if you're sourcing stuff from pretty little things.

[Kid Fury]

So I mean, like selling a couple of things and, and it being to family members and stuff like, yeah, businesses take a while to get off the ground. And a lot of. Of those types of things do start, you know, with people that are closest to you. But like Crystal said, the difficulty here, the stumbling block, if you will, is the fact that this lady doesn't know what she's doing and she's not listening to criticism or helpful advice.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

I'm like, does she watch Bravo? Because there's a whole lot of women who are just like, sell nail polish.

[Crystal]

I just said I'm gonna start a business. And so I just started a business. And it's like, okay, well, that's actually a little more complicated than that.

[Kid Fury]

And it's not just like way more.

[Crystal]

And everybody either needs help or needs to be coachable. If can't nobody tell you nothing, then you need to be able to execute it on your own. And your mother 1000% clearly cannot. So she needs to be coachable. She isn't. You're gonna have to set those boundaries so that you don't blow up at your mama and say some things you don't really mean or something you would regret.

[Kid Fury]

Rude work, right, Mama? Don't nobody even buy these damn dresses. But Auntie Tina. So I don't.

[Crystal]

You sold 10 dresses in two years at the trunk of the car when I was getting my hair blown out. So don't nobody. You literally came in the shop with them cheap ass dresses on a hanger. And they paid you $20 for them dresses. They felt bad for you. Like you don't want it to go that far.

[Kid Fury]

And then you can't sleep for a

[Crystal]

minute

[Kid Fury]

just feeling like shit. Yeah.

[Crystal]

But you. You gotta say something for your own peace of mind. And, you know, maybe you'll say something. She'll say, my daughter, you are correct. You do have a background in communications. This is what you do for a living. I will listen to you and take your advice, because that's not something I know anything about. And then you would feel a lot less resentful about helping her.

[Kid Fury]

Exactly.

[Crystal]

So. But you gotta say something. And then it would.

[Kid Fury]

You do.

[Crystal]

She's probably gonna throw a fit. And then you'd be like, all right, find somebody else to run your website. Think with these AI models and shoot, you gonna. You're gonna. You're gonna upload some sort of bug or virus into your website. It's a matter of time before you do it, girl. And I will not be there to clean that shit up, girl. I'm not. You're not listening. And you really need to.

[Kid Fury]

Next, you know, she gonna Google the wrong support line or a fake support line. Now she even bigger than this.

[Crystal]

Yep. Yep.

[Kid Fury]

So I'm that prank.

[Crystal]

Yep. Good luck to you, Yvette. Again, that can be a challenging conversation, but it's definitely one worth having. All right, we are gonna wrap up the letters right there. Again, if you have a question for us, send it to askthereadmail.com we'll take a quick break and be right back.

[Kid Fury]

Woo. I'm parched. And you know what would really do my thirst? Something spectacular. It'd be a crisp Sprite, zero sugar. That's right. Unk is watching the sweets. Okay. Because summer's coming up and I'm trying to be thought Tiana. So you get the crisp lemon lime flavor just without the sugar. And there isn't like, any crazy compromise and hidden asterisk and, you know, National Lampoon, like mystery of what's actually happening to. It's refreshing. And as someone who might be obsessed with carbonated beverages, it just gives me exactly what I need. So try it out. This is Sprite. Zero sugar. Obey your thirst. Damn. I've always wanted to say that

[Crystal]

the

[Kid Fury]

2026 Chevy Equinox is more than an SUV. It's your Sunday tailgate and your Parking lot, snack bar, your lucky jersey, your chairs and your big cooler fit perfectly in your even bigger cargo space.

[Crystal]

And when it's go time, your 11.3-inch

[Kid Fury]

diagonal touchscreen's got the playbook, the playlist, and the tech to stay a step ahead. It's more than an suv.

[Crystal]

It's your Equinox Chevrolet.

[Kid Fury]

Together, let's drive. We are back. It is now time for the titular segment of the program. Another word I like. Yeah, you mean this one? I'll just start us off because all I really have to say is wow. Interesting. How many of you red hats are now kind of shivering and gagging. I again don't really understand what it is you expected. So war.

[Crystal]

Yay. Unbelievable.

[Kid Fury]

Your fucking 20 year old children going to just. What the fuck is going on?

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah, this is not good.

[Kid Fury]

And the girls are gagging. Jon Stewart. Oh, Aran is just, just blowing the girl. Just shooting all over the place.

[Crystal]

No shit. No shit.

[Kid Fury]

I'm sorry. Well, well,

[Crystal]

child.

[Kid Fury]

Well, I mean. Cause if the girls jump me, I'm Mason Em, Right? Right.

[Crystal]

Like, baby, they said Tel Aviv gonna burn like Gaza did. And I said, well, let me get out your way.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, is that a new drag race? Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. You guys have fun. I hate this bitch. I hate this bitch. I hate that he's just turned the planet into the Apprentice. I hate the fact that Latoya Jackson, Nene Leakes were once sitting across from this bitch to have a fake job. And he is now. All I really had is I don't have a read. I hate this bitch. I hate that so many people continuously broke their vocal cords shouting, hey, don't do this. And then again, hey, we know better. We should do better.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Kid Fury]

But y' all hate black people. And Latinos, Mexicans and Africans and anybody that ain't a cracker. So bad. And she's like, yeah, whatever it takes. Now you hungry, your teeth falling out, and we back and having a forever war fierce. I hate, like, the hatred is. It's undescribable. Indescribable. It's indescribable.

[Crystal]

Yeah,

[Kid Fury]

that's that. And then Gen Alpha. Oh, my sweet babies, I love you so much. What is the six? Seven? What is this?

[Crystal]

Six, seven is over.

[Kid Fury]

Is it?

[Crystal]

Yes. Are you just now finding out about it?

[Kid Fury]

I found out about this like a week ago.

[Crystal]

6, 7 is late.

[Kid Fury]

My friend's baby, who's like about to be four, not a little. We're like having like a Sunday, like Dinner type thing. And her daddy was like, zuri, come here. What's the six, seven? And she was like, six, seven, what the hell is this? And why does this baby that just got here know this meme? I have no idea. And I was just like going around the table. What does it mean? I'm not really sure. Her daddy was like, I know 6, 7 in terms of basketball. But I don't know why she knows this.

[Crystal]

So it doesn't mean anything. It's just the children being.

[Kid Fury]

That's what Google said.

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah. It's just kids being young and having their young dumb shit. But it is on its way out. Like you do six, seven now, and they looking at you like, okay.

[Kid Fury]

And that's how I know I'm elderly. I found out about it in the past five days or something. And now I'm finding out that it's late for the children and played out. It just happens to you. It just happens to you. There's no escaping it.

[Crystal]

Yep. Like, damn.

[Kid Fury]

Oh my God. Google says. Popularized in 2025.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

By Gen Alpha, it is often considered a word of the year. It is largely meaningless content, but carries a specific feeling. Oh, God.

[Crystal]

Yeah. This was.

[Kid Fury]

Well, children, I'm glad you're having fun.

[Crystal]

I love that it's a three year old who put you on. Cause like, yeah, it would be a three year old still doing it.

[Kid Fury]

And when you Google 6'7, Google does this.

[Crystal]

Oh, so Google is in on it. That's too cute.

[Kid Fury]

Yes, it does look cute. Probably because the gen Alpha person is over there doing this shit. Ain't they like 16 now?

[Crystal]

I think the oldest gen alpha yet is probably 14, 15, 16.

[Kid Fury]

Probably 15 16.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Damn. Not somebody over there with their daddy like, doo, doo doo, make the. Like this.

[Kid Fury]

That would be hilarious. And that's how you know it's somebody daddy that did it. Cause it's still doing it.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Off of my babies.

[Crystal]

It really does.

[Kid Fury]

I want the future for you. It does.

[Crystal]

Oh, that's so cute.

[Kid Fury]

When I first googled it, I jumped. Yeah. I was like, oh, Jesus. You know what it reminded me of when I worked at the fucking Apples. This is only a flash of a second though, in my defense, okay. When I worked at the fucking Apple store and uncles and aunties and abuelas and shit would come in there with their iPhone, first generation or second, it'd be like, like the apps are just moving. They won't stop shaking. And I don't understand why they're doing it. And I would just always be like, oh, grandma, I know that she felt like you was probably gonna be here in hours. Let me. For hours. Let me blow your mind. Yeah, okay. You could go home. That's I think, how I felt for a flash of a second when I googled 6, 7 and it started doing this. I was like, what happens in a computer? Oh, wait, I remember. Suri did this and I said, jesus Christ.

[Crystal]

Oh my God.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, it just happens. But you know what? It's beautiful.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

It like my perspective.

[Crystal]

It started last summer. That's why I'm like, I love that you, like, you're just now finding out about it. That is incredible.

[Kid Fury]

But, yeah, here we are. Success. There was once a time where I knew something when I was a part of it. Yeah, I was a part of it. Now it's no longer. It's not even just outside my business. The gates are closed. Let me tell you something, Jenny. Like, we out here gatekeeping the wrong bullshit because the children are like, get away from us with this. Right. And that's. I respect.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I can't believe you just now hearing about In N Out had to retire the number 67 from their ticketing system.

[Kid Fury]

Are you fucking kidding?

[Crystal]

Oh, no, you can't. If the score is like 66 in a basketball game and somebody's shooting a free throw and it goes to 67, the kids was going nuts. Like, it was everywhere. They literally stopped calling out 67 at in and out because of the kids and the 67, like it has been. So, I mean, I. I am one of the few adults who thinks it's adorable for kids to have their little brain rot. Dumb shit.

[Kid Fury]

No, that's exactly what I'm thinking.

[Crystal]

I love it, but it doesn't. You know, you try to make it make sense, it fucking won't. Well, they're 12.

[Kid Fury]

I don't have to.

[Crystal]

They're 12.

[Kid Fury]

I don't have to make sense of it. Right. I think you just hit the nail on the head. It's like, this is just some fun dumb shit for you, that's all.

[Crystal]

And it pisses off adults. Well, see, and that's the thing. It made adults mad. So they kept doing it and then adults started joining in, which is how the trend started to die. Cuz once we start doing it. Yes, with the desking. Yeah, Y. Once we start doing it now, it's whack. And they've moved on to something else. And we'll find out who it is in a few months. Yeah. Yep. Yep. It literally was. Time is a circle.

[Kid Fury]

So. Yeah. Children, I just wanted to reach out now that, you know, your mom is turning the podcast on. I want to just reach out and acknowledge you and also reinforce the fact that we really don't know what you're talking about. And I know that's how you prefer it. So congratulations for having your thing, your culture. I personally find it really endearing. It is adorable, and I kind of love being lost in it, you know? It's nice to know that the streets ain't mine no more. They are not my boo.

[Crystal]

They really not, you know? And it's like, I wanna. There's a part of me that's like, I can't be old, but I am old. But it's like, I can't be. But, no, I really am.

[Kid Fury]

Midlife is the worst bitch chest. It is trash. Just give me one part of the other.

[Crystal]

It's just too actually hard to believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Shout out sexy midlife millennials. We're giving it up.

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

But that's it. I'm finished.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

I don't have anything serious. Six, seven. And I want Donald Trump to, like. I don't even want, like, a violent death, because then martyr dumb and. Oh, yeah, I want, like, they gonna treat him like Charlie aneurysms. Exactly.

[Crystal]

Something is eating him up on his

[Kid Fury]

neck because he's very clearly.

[Crystal]

Did you see that rash on his face?

[Kid Fury]

He keeps saying that.

[Crystal]

What is that?

[Kid Fury]

He must be injecting the stem cells or something to keep him alive. Like, I don't know what it is. Baby blood. Cause he's rotting. He's rotting.

[Crystal]

Right, Right.

[Kid Fury]

So, you know, my ideal situation is that he just falls down, does never get back up. And then they will still obviously have, like, tour and, you know, they'll have, like, a MAGA annual convention.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

But I'm ready for her to go. I'm ready for her to go, and I want it to be soon. I hate that bitch. So, so bad. Because what are you doing besides sucking Netanyahu's dick?

[Crystal]

Well, Eron threatened to kidnap him, and I'm like, well, do y' all need the address?

[Kid Fury]

It's easily Google.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Cause then. And he got a house in Florida, too. Check that one first.

[Kid Fury]

I was about to say he's probably in Florida,

[Crystal]

but come get him.

[Kid Fury]

I won't stand in your way. Right.

[Crystal]

If there's anything I can do to be a traitor to the nation, please let me know.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. If you need any information, any help, if we see something, we will say something. Best believe it. Come and get her couldn't care less.

[Crystal]

Please come get this bitch, girl. I will not stand in your way.

[Kid Fury]

Hate him. And while I'm on the topic, girl, fuck that movie, bitch. Did you really think that you was gonna come in anybody's face, melania, with that PG13 piece of bullshit? Like you really just wanted something to do, huh? Girl, fuck around, slop ass bullshit. Anyways, now I'm finished.

[Crystal]

Okay? I've been trying to think of, like, which thing I'm gonna talk about this week. Like, of all the dumb shit that has happened, I'm trying to decide which one I'm gonna talk about this week. And I think it has to be this Jim Carrey as a clone thing.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, wow. I should, like, watch the news or. What are you talking about?

[Crystal]

So Jim Carrey has had some work done. Look, like cheek fillers or something. And he was at the Cesar Awards in Paris last week. And he doesn't look, you know, like we the same. Right? And so the conspiracy theories immediately started swirling with people saying, there's no way that's Jim Carrey. It's a body double. It's a clone. I don't know what y' all talk like that, y'.

[Kid Fury]

All.

[Crystal]

He's learned too much. And now the government is replacing Jim Carrey, and they've. They've.

[Kid Fury]

It's just so fucking stupid. What happens to, like, oh, if you play Tupac backwards, then a ghost will

[Crystal]

appear in the mirror.

[Kid Fury]

Like, this is stupid.

[Crystal]

It is. It really, really is. And so I want to say, first of all, have y' all never heard of plastic surgery? It is not unheard of for famous people, even men, to go. Even men to go under the knife and have something done to change the way they look. I think it's almost. It's impossible to imagine that he didn't get something done at him. Chicken. But that's it. And I want to either remind or inform you girls that cloning is not like on Family Matters where Steve Urkel went into the transformation chamber and came out as Stephon orkill. Okay? That's not how cloning works. Cloning.

[Kid Fury]

That wasn't even cloning. That was just transformation.

[Crystal]

That was just transformation. But you don't put Jim Carrey in a room and press a button and then another Jim Carrey materializes. That isn't what happens. The DNA is what is cloned. And so if Jim Carrey had been cloned two or three years ago, like y' all claim then that Jim Carrey would be a toddler right now. It would. His Body doesn't get duplicated and then sent back out into the world. And if it did, he would have that old face. You see how no matter how you slice it, this is stupid. You see how no matter how you look at it, this don't make no goddamn sense. Instead of what is right in front of Yalls faces, what is so glaringly obvious, which is that this man went under the knife. And I mean, I can't say I'm a fan of this work. You really should have called Lindsay Lohan or Christina Aguilera and see who they went to. Because when I tell you them bitches erased the clock. I don't know how Lindsay Lohan did it. It in particular. I'm. I mean, she. It's looking like 2001 Lindsay Lohan all over again. That bitch is just incredible. You should have called one of them, seen what they did. I don't think this was the best possible work, but choosing to believe that this is some decoy of Jim Carrey or that Jim Carrey was cloned and this is the clone and he, the original Jim Carrey had to be destroyed because he knew too much about. About the Epstein files or whatever. Like, y'. All,

[Kid Fury]

he's just right, make a movie like. Okay, so I googled, first of all, I put Jim Carrey into Google. And the second result was New face. Yeah, the first was 2026. I'm looking at an image. I'm looking at an image of him now. And yes, he looks. This is not good plastic surgery. In my opinion. He looked like Mickey Rourke. But. But he doesn't look so unlike himself that I'd be like, that's not him.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

He just looks like he got work done. And it's not great.

[Crystal]

I get that sometimes we don't wanna believe the things that are right in front of us. And with famous people and rich people, we're a lot more likely to believe that, you know, any fucking thing is possible. But he really just looks like an old man who tried to turn the clock back a little bit. And maybe the face is not done settling or whatever. Because isn't he. Doesn't he have a much younger wife or girlfriend, something like that?

[Kid Fury]

I think he does, maybe.

[Crystal]

So I wouldn't be surprised, right? I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to look younger because he's with someone younger. I mean, I just. I'm. I'm guessing, but the idea that this is not actually him is really just ridiculous. I want you niggas to think 64

[Kid Fury]

years old old, Right, Right. And it's not unbelievable. It's really not saying that someone who is on camera for a living, that is incredibly famous would go, I feel away about my appearance. Let me. Like, and I think you're, you also are saying, like, maybe they're gagging because it's a man. Like a man touching his face and getting botched plastic surgery. No way. He. It has to be a clone. Like, what? Yeah. Jim Carrey was like, these motherfuckers asked me to do Sonic 8. And I'm just like, okay, I, I can't.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

Can't look my age. I wonder how old his wife is.

[Crystal]

But sometimes you have to go back on camera anyway before everything settles. A lot of the celebrities have been caught with this plastic round cheek look because they went and got something done. That just is what it is, babe. So I feel like they're done there are.

[Kid Fury]

I, I, I feel like this is just settling.

[Crystal]

I appreciate, you know, I'm trying to be nice about it, but I do appreciate a good conspiracy, a good what have you. Like, I, I love it when it's fun, you know, but, but when even I, when I can look at a situation and poke holes into yalls. Very obvious observations, that's when I feel like we need to go ahead and wrap it up. This is very, very stupid. Tell your cousins to stop saying this. That old man just wanted to look better. Okay?

[Kid Fury]

That's it. He doesn't. So he tried, which is not new.

[Crystal]

Yeah, that's really it.

[Kid Fury]

Yikes. He looked like Billy the Puppet.

[Crystal]

Also, there's something weird going on with the WNBA and the Players Association. I don't know. I'm not sure what's going on. You know, let's just hold and wait to see what happens with that. But I'm not sure if the executives over at the WNBPA need to be cussed out or what. I don't know what's going on, but it's looking more and more like we're not gonna be having a season or it's gonna be delayed or the girls are going on strike. It's looking more and more like that every day. And I really hope not, because the New York Liberty has been charging me every month for my season ticket holder. Nah, they have been charging me every month for my season tickets. And I know that Joe and Clara don't want to have to run me my refund. So I really do hope we can figure things out in time. But, you know, I'm going to wait and see if some More details come out because that story's still a little bit too new for me to really talk on it. I don't have quite enough details just yet, but, yeah, we'll see. That's it. For me, though.

[Kid Fury]

It is wild that they're even taking those players through there. The way that they work and the way that they. They have blown the entire league association out the water in the past couple years.

[Crystal]

Yeah. And, you know, unsurprisingly, it's looking like the NBA is part of the real problem here, which would make sense.

[Kid Fury]

Okay. Yeah, that does make sense. Jesus.

[Crystal]

Wouldn't it make sense that a man is really at the root of all the problems that are really going on here? It's like Adam Silver really not getting enough smoke for what's going on. But. But as always. And regardless, I stand with the players. And if they feel like this is some bullshit and they would rather strike than play, then I'm completely with that. It is.

[Kid Fury]

If they didn't want to wear a certain brand of shoes or. I was like, they're the ones carrying.

[Crystal]

They can only wear shoes that the league has a deal with. They can't wear whatever shoes they want.

[Kid Fury]

Of course they can't.

[Crystal]

Yeah. You have to wear. Yep. So Nike's Adidas, and, I don't know, probably one or two other brands, but you can't just wear whatever they did. A whole story. I think it was Erica Wheeler or somebody's friend came out with a line of shoes, and she wanted to wear her friend's shoes and literally couldn't. I think I fined or something for wearing, like, shoes that are not. Anyway. Anyway, the restrictions y' all put on these women for. For them to make $80,000 is just crazy. But. All right, we gonna see what happens. And, yeah, I think that's gonna wrap up this week's episode of the Read. We have a fun announcement coming for you next week, so hang tight for that. In the meantime, check us out. This is the read.com, our website. You can follow us on social media. Hisisread. You can find my advice show Chrystal's Couch at. At Crystal's Couch. We're having a good time over there. Just trying to help the girls out. Cause there's a lot going on in this world, so.

[Kid Fury]

And in your car tonight.

[Crystal]

Join us over there in the car.

[Kid Fury]

Jesus.

[Crystal]

Oh, I'm not gonna get over that.

[Kid Fury]

The girls need in depth help that we can't get in just one second.

[Crystal]

Right, Right. We need more time to really unpack these things so you can follow us hrystal's couch to learn more. Any news or updates from you this week Give you sure.

[Kid Fury]

Episode 2 of Furious Thoughts podcast is out with Brandon Kyle Goodman this week. Shout out to him for joining. You can find us on socials at Furious Thoughtspod. You can also find the video hefurytv on YouTube. That's wild. If it's still called that. And of course, yes, we're on the all your pod platforms and patreon.com kidfury

[Crystal]

for more are yes, your playlists and so on and such as yes, playlists

[Kid Fury]

and exclusives and my titties.

[Crystal]

All right, all right, girlies. Oh, and he's gonna breastfeed someone on camera this month. So go subscribe.

[Kid Fury]

No, mostly just want to see link. And you do for like five minutes.

[Crystal]

She's like, all right, there you go. On that damn computer.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. I'm gonna go sleep in my Versace. She sleeps in the Versace bed. Finally.

[Crystal]

Finally. Cause, I mean, girl, Versace. You better if you don't sleep in that thing. I am somebody getting in this damn bed.

[Kid Fury]

You know what I did? Low key. I don't know how this worked. I put a bunch of my socks in it.

[Crystal]

Oh, that's how. Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And then after, like, day or two, she was just knocked out in that bitch. I took the socks off. She sleeps in there all the time now.

[Crystal]

I put Lani's bed under my computer desk because I'm there working so much.

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crystal]

And so she's like, this is perfect. I get to be in love under you.

[Kid Fury]

That is wonders. I don't even know why I didn't think of that.

[Crystal]

She's like, oh, yeah. Right next to you is exactly where I want to be. So this feels correct.

[Kid Fury]

You know what's disgusting? When I would have liked, like, take your child to work day, or my mother would pick me up early from school. She worked in, like, a cubicle. You know where my favorite place was to be?

[Crystal]

Not under the desk.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, it was like a little fort.

[Crystal]

It was. Yeah. My mother taught at my elementary school, so when school was out, I would just walk down the hall to her classroom.

[Kid Fury]

Fierce.

[Crystal]

And she had. She was the speech pathologist, so she had two rooms. So me and my brother would go in the back room and play computer games. I would be in that room.

[Kid Fury]

So will y' all just be chilling there in the other room? Just together. Cunt.

[Crystal]

Playing number munchers and shit.

[Kid Fury]

Y' all remember Muncher?

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Kid Fury]

Elle, Do I remember Number munchers.

[Crystal]

Number munchers.

[Kid Fury]

They need to bring that back.

[Crystal]

They do.

[Kid Fury]

Nintendo Switch. What are you waiting on? She's right there.

[Crystal]

Cause the kids cannot add, so please help them out.

[Kid Fury]

Remember when you weren't allowed to have a calculator in glass?

[Crystal]

Remember when you had to figure it out and show your fucking work?

[Kid Fury]

Long division. Now the kids are expected to use a calculator on their iPhone.

[Crystal]

Uh oh. They chatgpt their math homework. Don't ask me how I know. Anyway, this is the read.com thank you all so much for tuning in. We will see you next week. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's

[Kid Fury]

bar and suddenly I'm right back, sitting on the front porch with my grandmother

[Crystal]

on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the

[Kid Fury]

bar in half and hands me a piece.

[Crystal]

I open my mouth to say whatever a 9 year old wants to say,

[Kid Fury]

and she replies with a low

[Crystal]

listen. So we sat there listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's it's your happy place. The 2026 Chevy Equinox is more than an SUV.

[Kid Fury]

It's your Sunday tailgate and your parking lot snack bar. Your lucky jersey, Your chairs and your big cooler fit perfectly in your even bigger cargo space.

[Crystal]

And when it's go time, your 11.3-inch

[Kid Fury]

diagonal touchscreen's got the playbook, the playlist, and the tech to stay a step ahead. It's more than an suv.

[Crystal]

It's your Equinox Chevrolet.

[Kid Fury]

Together, let's drive.