The Read – "The Trials of a Masculine Maiden"

Release Date: March 26, 2026
Hosts: Kid Fury & Crissle
Network: Loud Speakers Network

Episode Overview

In this animated, pop-culture-packed episode, Kid Fury and Crissle deliver their signature blend of shade, humor, and raw honesty as they cover the latest in celebrity drama, Black excellence, and listener dilemmas. Topics include wild Met Gala rumors, hip-hop relationship chaos, legal drama, the perils of AI, and the messy realities of navigating identity and adulthood. Throughout, their banter is both hilarious and insightful, with perspectives steeped in Black queer culture and seasoned with genuine empathy and joy.

Black Excellence

[02:14–03:22]

• Spotlight on Miles Dantz: The hosts celebrate Miles, a Detroit third grader, for being accepted into Mensa with a 3.75 GPA.
  • "He's cute as a button. And he's here. I see on Instagram holding his Mensa letter with his glasses and his cute smile." – Kid Fury [02:59]

Hot Tops (Pop Culture Roundup)

Box Office Buzz & Movie Chat

[03:25–06:59]

• Discussion on animated family movies ("Hoppers," Steph Curry’s "GOAT" film, Zootopia 2).
  • "I thought Hopper’s was a Disney. Is that not a Disney?" – Crystal [06:26]
• Fun banter about not being up to date on children’s entertainment.

Celebrity Drama: Bieber & Usher

[07:16–11:55]

• The hosts discuss rumors of a spat between Justin Bieber and Usher at Beyoncé’s party.
  • "There were a lot of claims that they got into some sort of heated exchange and they had to be separated... none of that really seemed to be debunked until recently." – Kid Fury [07:23]
  • Usher's camp (via Da Brat) denies the rumors; speculation about money and the relentless rumor mill.

Hip-Hop Side-Eyes: Cam’ron & J. Cole

[13:10–14:15]

• Update on Cam’ron’s lawsuit against J. Cole, which turns out to be a podcast stunt.
  • "They piece it up and now they're gonna make content out of it." – Kid Fury [14:11]

Housewives and Divorce: Kandi & Todd’s Split

[14:17–23:55]

• Deep dive into the settlement details of Real Housewives Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker’s divorce:
  • Child custody: Shared, no child or spousal support.
  • Assets: Candy keeps main house, passports, most businesses; detailed car division; Candy pays Todd $426,000.
  • Hilarious moment: The pettiness of splitting credit card reward points and arguing over Atlanta Hawks season tickets.
    • "They're splitting their credit card reward points, which I think is hilarious." – Kid Fury [20:57]

Met Gala Bans: Nicki Minaj

[25:11–25:58]

• Rumor that Nicki Minaj is not invited to the Met Gala, possibly due to political views and lack of stylist support.
  • "Not shocked that nobody wants to dress Nicki Minaj for the fucking Met Gala. She's an embarrassment." – Crystal [25:49]

Homophobia and Respectability in Hollywood

[26:02–33:08]

• The hosts critique a Tyler Perry show actor’s ignorant comments on gay people and afterlife, expanding into how black actors struggle with homophobic pressure after playing queer roles.
  • "Some of you should just keep God out of your mouth and just do your own spiritual due diligence..." – Kid Fury [27:02]

AI, Social Media, and Privacy Nightmares

[43:07–51:49]

• AI-generated fake celebrity couple pics (Tyler Perry and Marlo Hampton).
• Discussion of Elon Musk’s Grok AI generating non-consensual nudes of real people, including minors—outrage at lack of tech safeguards.
  • "Some of you bitches can go to prison for that." – Crystal [46:41]
  • "Why wouldn't you have a safety team, a protection and privacy department?" – Kid Fury [48:28]

Quick Hits:

• Lotto’s Pregnancy: Surprise at rap’s double standards around authenticity and motherhood [52:46–56:10].
• Jay Z GQ Interview: High expectations for upcoming music and a playful dissection of the BeyHive’s detective energy [56:10–59:16].
  • "Why do we do this every fucking year? We drag ourselves. It is fun, though." – Kid Fury [58:06]
• Megan Thee Stallion on Broadway: Applause for Meg’s stage stint in Moulin Rouge and a nod to Bob the Drag Queen’s emotional curtain call [62:00–64:29].

Listener Letters & Advice

1. "The Trials of a Masculine Maiden" (Queer Identity Evolution)

[69:54–83:35]

• A Black masculine lesbian ("stud") writes in about unexpectedly starting a physical relationship with a man at 36 and questioning her identity.
• Both hosts reassure her: sexuality is fluid and self-definition is flexible.
  • "I don't think it has to impact the way that you label yourself... Don't let these decisions, like, set up deep roots in you and your identity." – Kid Fury [77:00]
  • "Sometimes you're just having experience... you linked on a real level." – Crystal [79:08]

2. Mateo’s Sexless Relationship

[84:52–93:00]

• Listener has been with a partner 17 years older, no sex in 4 years, and wonders if he should keep pushing for change.
• Both agree: sexual needs matter; multiple unfruitful talks mean it’s likely an incompatibility issue.
  • "You don't deserve to live a half life because of fear of the unknown... You deserve to get everything you need out of a romantic connection." – Crystal [91:30]

3. Amethyst’s Glow-Up Guilt

[93:00–105:00]

• Listener transformed physically and mentally, but now she’s outpacing her boyfriend’s confidence and worries about outgrowing him.
• Advice: Don’t dim your shine, but communicate and support his journey, noting the importance of honest conversation.
  • "You want to grow in a relationship the same way you want to grow without one... Your partner can either match your growth or support it." – Crystal [100:30]

The Reads (Rants)

[107:03–127:15]

Kid Fury:

• Goes all the way off on Tommy Lee (and Draya by extension) for preying on extremely young adults for clout and relationships. He denounces predatory behavior and hypocrisy in celebrity culture.
  • "You weird ass clout chasing Nasty ass, worthless, losing bitch. You are not good at anything but being a hot mess." [108:07]
• Also slams people’s willingness to forgive celebrities (like Phaedra Parks) for dangerous behavior in the name of entertainment.

Crissle:

• Drags Ulta Beauty in NYC for blatant racism: refusing to do a Black woman and her daughter’s hair on 86th Street, a clear violation of New York state law.
  • "How in the fuck is it that y' all don't have nobody who could wash and style negro hair?!" [117:54]
• Reflects on the broader, ongoing challenge Black people face in everyday American spaces.
  • "Would I have ever done this? No. Would never have occurred to me, but they're supposed to. And so if you live around 86th Street... just write the check." [121:31]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On sexual authenticity in music:
  "I don't understand why rap niggas can constantly rap about gang shit, crime shit they don't do... but women get dragged for their own lives." – Kid Fury [53:57]
• On generational tech and AI:
  "I just put the little minus AI at the end of all of my Google searches because I hate that AI overview." – Crystal [36:31]
• On the power of therapy and self-acceptance:
  "Sexuality just is what it is. You can just be having this experience with this man, and then maybe you go back to women. Maybe you are bi. You don't have to decide right now." – Crystal [81:22]
• On city life and racism:
  "You could throw a rock in this city and hit 10 different ethnicities... We have laws. How did you not know you can’t turn away Black people for being Black?" – Crystal [121:00]

Important Timestamps

• [02:14] – Black Excellence
• [07:16] – Bieber & Usher “fight” debunked
• [14:17] – Kandi & Todd Divorce Settlement Deep Dive
• [25:11] – Nicki Minaj Met Gala ban discussion
• [26:02] – Homophobia in Black media
• [43:07] – AI, Grok scandal, privacy concerns
• [52:46] – Lotto’s pregnancy, rap authenticity
• [56:10] – Jay Z’s new music & BeyHive antics
• [62:00] – Megan Thee Stallion on Broadway
• [69:54–83:35] – Advice: Identity, Bisexuality & Labels
• [84:52–93:00] – Advice: Sexless Long-term Partnership
• [93:00–105:00] – Advice: Growing Without Outgrowing Love
• [107:03] – Kid Fury’s Epic Rant (21+ Dating)
• [114:48] – Crissle’s Read: Ulta’s NYC Racism

Tone & Style

The episode is full of quick wit, pop culture acumen, and raw, relatable honesty. Both hosts alternate between hilarious roasting and thoughtful, community-rooted advice, all with maximal Black excellence.

Final Notes

Humor, empathy, and righteous anger drive this episode—making it a tour de force of hot topics and meaningful advice for the culture. As always: "No star is safe unless their name is Beyoncé. (Or Blue Ivy.)"

For full episode details and future live shows, visit thisistheread.com.