The Trials of a Masculine Maiden

Summary

The Read – "The Trials of a Masculine Maiden"

Release Date: March 26, 2026
Hosts: Kid Fury & Crissle
Network: Loud Speakers Network

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Episode Overview

In this animated, pop-culture-packed episode, Kid Fury and Crissle deliver their signature blend of shade, humor, and raw honesty as they cover the latest in celebrity drama, Black excellence, and listener dilemmas. Topics include wild Met Gala rumors, hip-hop relationship chaos, legal drama, the perils of AI, and the messy realities of navigating identity and adulthood. Throughout, their banter is both hilarious and insightful, with perspectives steeped in Black queer culture and seasoned with genuine empathy and joy.

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Black Excellence

[02:14–03:22]

• Spotlight on Miles Dantz: The hosts celebrate Miles, a Detroit third grader, for being accepted into Mensa with a 3.75 GPA.
  • "He's cute as a button. And he's here. I see on Instagram holding his Mensa letter with his glasses and his cute smile." – Kid Fury [02:59]

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Hot Tops (Pop Culture Roundup)

Box Office Buzz & Movie Chat

[03:25–06:59]

• Discussion on animated family movies ("Hoppers," Steph Curry’s "GOAT" film, Zootopia 2).
  • "I thought Hopper’s was a Disney. Is that not a Disney?" – Crystal [06:26]
• Fun banter about not being up to date on children’s entertainment.

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Celebrity Drama: Bieber & Usher

[07:16–11:55]

• The hosts discuss rumors of a spat between Justin Bieber and Usher at Beyoncé’s party.
  • "There were a lot of claims that they got into some sort of heated exchange and they had to be separated... none of that really seemed to be debunked until recently." – Kid Fury [07:23]
  • Usher's camp (via Da Brat) denies the rumors; speculation about money and the relentless rumor mill.

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Hip-Hop Side-Eyes: Cam’ron & J. Cole

[13:10–14:15]

• Update on Cam’ron’s lawsuit against J. Cole, which turns out to be a podcast stunt.
  • "They piece it up and now they're gonna make content out of it." – Kid Fury [14:11]

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Housewives and Divorce: Kandi & Todd’s Split

[14:17–23:55]

• Deep dive into the settlement details of Real Housewives Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker’s divorce:
  • Child custody: Shared, no child or spousal support.
  • Assets: Candy keeps main house, passports, most businesses; detailed car division; Candy pays Todd $426,000.
  • Hilarious moment: The pettiness of splitting credit card reward points and arguing over Atlanta Hawks season tickets.
    • "They're splitting their credit card reward points, which I think is hilarious." – Kid Fury [20:57]

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Met Gala Bans: Nicki Minaj

[25:11–25:58]

• Rumor that Nicki Minaj is not invited to the Met Gala, possibly due to political views and lack of stylist support.
  • "Not shocked that nobody wants to dress Nicki Minaj for the fucking Met Gala. She's an embarrassment." – Crystal [25:49]

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Homophobia and Respectability in Hollywood

[26:02–33:08]

• The hosts critique a Tyler Perry show actor’s ignorant comments on gay people and afterlife, expanding into how black actors struggle with homophobic pressure after playing queer roles.
  • "Some of you should just keep God out of your mouth and just do your own spiritual due diligence..." – Kid Fury [27:02]

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AI, Social Media, and Privacy Nightmares

[43:07–51:49]

• AI-generated fake celebrity couple pics (Tyler Perry and Marlo Hampton).
• Discussion of Elon Musk’s Grok AI generating non-consensual nudes of real people, including minors—outrage at lack of tech safeguards.
  • "Some of you bitches can go to prison for that." – Crystal [46:41]
  • "Why wouldn't you have a safety team, a protection and privacy department?" – Kid Fury [48:28]

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Quick Hits:

• Lotto’s Pregnancy: Surprise at rap’s double standards around authenticity and motherhood [52:46–56:10].
• Jay Z GQ Interview: High expectations for upcoming music and a playful dissection of the BeyHive’s detective energy [56:10–59:16].
  • "Why do we do this every fucking year? We drag ourselves. It is fun, though." – Kid Fury [58:06]
• Megan Thee Stallion on Broadway: Applause for Meg’s stage stint in Moulin Rouge and a nod to Bob the Drag Queen’s emotional curtain call [62:00–64:29].

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Listener Letters & Advice

1. "The Trials of a Masculine Maiden" (Queer Identity Evolution)

[69:54–83:35]

• A Black masculine lesbian ("stud") writes in about unexpectedly starting a physical relationship with a man at 36 and questioning her identity.
• Both hosts reassure her: sexuality is fluid and self-definition is flexible.
  • "I don't think it has to impact the way that you label yourself... Don't let these decisions, like, set up deep roots in you and your identity." – Kid Fury [77:00]
  • "Sometimes you're just having experience... you linked on a real level." – Crystal [79:08]

2. Mateo’s Sexless Relationship

[84:52–93:00]

• Listener has been with a partner 17 years older, no sex in 4 years, and wonders if he should keep pushing for change.
• Both agree: sexual needs matter; multiple unfruitful talks mean it’s likely an incompatibility issue.
  • "You don't deserve to live a half life because of fear of the unknown... You deserve to get everything you need out of a romantic connection." – Crystal [91:30]

3. Amethyst’s Glow-Up Guilt

[93:00–105:00]

• Listener transformed physically and mentally, but now she’s outpacing her boyfriend’s confidence and worries about outgrowing him.
• Advice: Don’t dim your shine, but communicate and support his journey, noting the importance of honest conversation.
  • "You want to grow in a relationship the same way you want to grow without one... Your partner can either match your growth or support it." – Crystal [100:30]

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The Reads (Rants)

[107:03–127:15]

Kid Fury:

• Goes all the way off on Tommy Lee (and Draya by extension) for preying on extremely young adults for clout and relationships. He denounces predatory behavior and hypocrisy in celebrity culture.
  • "You weird ass clout chasing Nasty ass, worthless, losing bitch. You are not good at anything but being a hot mess." [108:07]
• Also slams people’s willingness to forgive celebrities (like Phaedra Parks) for dangerous behavior in the name of entertainment.

Crissle:

• Drags Ulta Beauty in NYC for blatant racism: refusing to do a Black woman and her daughter’s hair on 86th Street, a clear violation of New York state law.
  • "How in the fuck is it that y' all don't have nobody who could wash and style negro hair?!" [117:54]
• Reflects on the broader, ongoing challenge Black people face in everyday American spaces.
  • "Would I have ever done this? No. Would never have occurred to me, but they're supposed to. And so if you live around 86th Street... just write the check." [121:31]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On sexual authenticity in music:
  "I don't understand why rap niggas can constantly rap about gang shit, crime shit they don't do... but women get dragged for their own lives." – Kid Fury [53:57]
• On generational tech and AI:
  "I just put the little minus AI at the end of all of my Google searches because I hate that AI overview." – Crystal [36:31]
• On the power of therapy and self-acceptance:
  "Sexuality just is what it is. You can just be having this experience with this man, and then maybe you go back to women. Maybe you are bi. You don't have to decide right now." – Crystal [81:22]
• On city life and racism:
  "You could throw a rock in this city and hit 10 different ethnicities... We have laws. How did you not know you can’t turn away Black people for being Black?" – Crystal [121:00]

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Important Timestamps

• [02:14] – Black Excellence
• [07:16] – Bieber & Usher “fight” debunked
• [14:17] – Kandi & Todd Divorce Settlement Deep Dive
• [25:11] – Nicki Minaj Met Gala ban discussion
• [26:02] – Homophobia in Black media
• [43:07] – AI, Grok scandal, privacy concerns
• [52:46] – Lotto’s pregnancy, rap authenticity
• [56:10] – Jay Z’s new music & BeyHive antics
• [62:00] – Megan Thee Stallion on Broadway
• [69:54–83:35] – Advice: Identity, Bisexuality & Labels
• [84:52–93:00] – Advice: Sexless Long-term Partnership
• [93:00–105:00] – Advice: Growing Without Outgrowing Love
• [107:03] – Kid Fury’s Epic Rant (21+ Dating)
• [114:48] – Crissle’s Read: Ulta’s NYC Racism

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Tone & Style

The episode is full of quick wit, pop culture acumen, and raw, relatable honesty. Both hosts alternate between hilarious roasting and thoughtful, community-rooted advice, all with maximal Black excellence.

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Final Notes

Humor, empathy, and righteous anger drive this episode—making it a tour de force of hot topics and meaningful advice for the culture. As always: "No star is safe unless their name is Beyoncé. (Or Blue Ivy.)"

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For full episode details and future live shows, visit thisistheread.com.

Transcript

[Crystal]

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[Kid Fury]

Bouncy biggity bouncy biggity bouncy biggity bounce it. Bouncy biggity biggity biggity biggity biggity bouncy. I'm trying to perfect that and then see maybe I can appropriate your culture. New Orleans hey guys, I am Beef

[Crystal]

for Bettered and I am Jared McCain and this is the Read. Thanks for tuning in.

[Kid Fury]

It is the Read. And thank you for tuning in, in fact. Well, what month is it? March 2026. It feels like time after Covid. Maybe Covid was like when the universe hit fast forward and it was like woo. Yeah, I'm bored.

[Crystal]

So just skim through speed all this right up. Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

But while we're here, let's talk about some black excellence the way that we usually do. This week it is going to go over to an exceptional young man named Miles Dantz. He is a third grader who has now been accepted into Mensa.

[Crystal]

Oh work.

[Kid Fury]

If you haven't heard of Mensa, you can Google it. It's basically a society for niggas who will always be smarter than you. They never had a choice and most of them go on to do things that are important for the world. And you know, the rest of us. Check in with Kandi Burruss. Miles is a a student of gates.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

He's a 3.75 GPA, he's cute as a button. And he's here. I see on Instagram holding his Mensa letter with his glasses and his cute smile and Detroit. Detroit public schools. So, Dustin, you got another one. So shout out to you, young man.

[Crystal]

Adorable.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, let us get into hop culture segment that we call Hot Tops Hoppers. I should leave the children stuff alone. Art Hoppers is good.

[Crystal]

Oh, I was like, what the hell are you talking about?

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, Bieber movie.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I've seen a couple of commercials for it, but have not actually gone to check it out myself. It does look good, though.

[Kid Fury]

It's killing the box office job.

[Crystal]

Of course it is.

[Kid Fury]

That and Stephen Curry's movie, the Goat movie. The.

[Crystal]

I did not know he.

[Kid Fury]

You haven't seen that? No, he has a movie called Goat, which is why I think the film him changed its name.

[Crystal]

Oh, right. Okay.

[Kid Fury]

But he has an animated film called Goat, where I think he voices the titular goat that wants to be like a big. It's his story. It's a tiny goat, of course, that wants to be a basketball player. And all the other animals are like, way bigger than him.

[Crystal]

Wow.

[Kid Fury]

And like you, tiny goat, you'll never be able to be a bad bitch. And then. And then he is.

[Crystal]

Okay, so.

[Kid Fury]

And I haven't seen it. I just watched the trailer.

[Crystal]

It's. It's giving space jam. It's a little space jam. Ish as well.

[Kid Fury]

Exactly. But without a human.

[Crystal]

Okay. Okay, well, so. Yeah, why not? I. That's probably. You're probably getting a lot more promo for that. Cause you over there on the west coast where his.

[Kid Fury]

Nah, it's like, it's killing the box office too. It's like number three.

[Crystal]

Well, I mean, I'm just not. I don't know why I haven't even heard of it, but.

[Kid Fury]

Because we're grown and you don't watch movie trailers every day like I do.

[Crystal]

Yeah, that's true. I don't seek them out. I'm not like, looking to see what's coming out, but good for him.

[Kid Fury]

It is. Him and his wife, number six at the box office right now, look like she could be. I think it was number three the other day. You. Okay? So when I saw the trailer for that. When I saw the trailer for that, I was like, okay, Steven, I know if this is gonna eat because the children, a lot of the children, they love the basketball around that at the age. And then it's a cartoon. And then it's like, oh, it's Steve. But Harpers is sitting here right at Deuce.

[Crystal]

Okay, so what's number one?

[Kid Fury]

Sinners Project. Hailman.

[Crystal]

Oh. Ooh. That's another one I've heard good things about. Now that one.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, I hear good things about it all the time, but I still don't know what it's about. Besides something with Ryan Gosling, I guess. Yeah, I guess I should look more into that.

[Crystal]

Something about. I think I heard or saw a video that he wore his own clothes in that movie.

[Kid Fury]

That makes sense.

[Crystal]

I don't.

[Kid Fury]

I think it's based on a book.

[Crystal]

Okay. I know precious little about it other than that.

[Kid Fury]

Same so. But I don't even really know what Hoppers is about.

[Crystal]

Hot is Hopper's not like Zootopia the way I just be making assumptions.

[Kid Fury]

Zootopia 2 came out like a month or so ago and the children loved that to bits too. I made a hit ton. A ton of money. I thought Hopper's was a Disney. Is that not a Disney?

[Crystal]

When scientists discover a way to transform human consciousness into robotic animals. Uh oh. AI Mabel uses the new technology to uncover the mysteries of the animal world. Okay, cute. It is Disney. Distributed by Disney.

[Kid Fury]

Very funny. Yeah.

[Crystal]

Okay. Yeah, maybe I will go see that sometime soon.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, this sounds cute. I'd stream that. That's a cute airplane movie.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, guys, let's get into the hot tops this week. I don't even really know where to start. Let's start with some silly. Well, that's not okay. Did you hear about this alleged Justin Bieber Usher scuffle down to the Beyonce?

[Crystal]

I did hear about that, but I wasn't sure if it was real.

[Kid Fury]

I'm not really sure if it's real either. There were a lot of claims that they got into some sort of heated exchange and they had to be separate because of it. And none of that really seemed to be debunked anywhere that I saw until recently. Recently being this morning.

[Crystal]

Okay,

[Kid Fury]

now here's what we have. A source from Usher has said that the rumors are not true. Reading here on the Daily Mail that this source said he's been nothing but supportive of plenty of issues that Justin Bieber has had throughout the years. And y' all can check, actually check the records for all that he has been. Now, do you know who Ushers sources? He's the brat.

[Crystal]

I was about to say his publicist. Not da brat.

[Kid Fury]

The brat is on Ricky Smiley's mom, okay? Since she spoke to Usher and Usher told her, girl, they're exaggerating. And that was completely taken out of context. And how dare the children. So I don't know if it's true either. It could be. It could have been something silly as one of them wasn't in a good mood and both of them drunk. And then it just was like, man, go away. Oh, man, I was just joking. Hey, get away from me. It could be something super silly. And then someone grabbed one of them and was like, all right, you a little too drunk. Just move over here.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

And then that does get turned into, well, you know what they said about what Usher and Diddy did to Justin. And Justin is sick and tired of it after that thing now when I read that, I was like, well, I'll just have a little bit of honey in mind.

[Crystal]

That is interesting, especially because I did see an interview with Usher where he was talking about how y' all can't get him to say nothing bad about Puffy because his experience wasn't nothing like what was in the news. And we can't take away from all the greatness that a person has done and all this other shit. So you can't.

[Kid Fury]

You don't want your experience to be in the news, babe.

[Crystal]

Right, right. Cause I Usher, I mean, I don't want to say, baby, you're a victim as well, but the things that you saw and experienced at a very young age while under Sean's tutelage just don't seem like things kids were supposed to have gone through. And so I do wonder if there's some truth to that. Like, should it maybe kind of expose Justin Bieber to some of the stuff that he also was. Who knows? I don't know.

[Kid Fury]

And that's not even. That's not even really like a brand new rumor.

[Crystal]

Right, Right. So it's just that the two of them beefing at the Gold party is like, ooh, what?

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, it's a good sparking.

[Crystal]

It is.

[Kid Fury]

It's like flint.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

It's like a good little sparking match for that conversation.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

Maybe the conversation needs to be had regardless.

[Crystal]

Who knows? I think it's more likely that it's about money somehow that, that, that Usher makes sense. Usher makes a lot of money off of Justin Bieber. Justin's like, I would actually like my

[Kid Fury]

things and Justin Bieber look like Jim Carrey today.

[Crystal]

Okay. The real Jim Carrey. That flew out. Yeah, but, you know, no cameras, so we'll. We'll probably never know what was really behind that or if they came to blows. It seems unlikely, but I think it

[Kid Fury]

is very unlike if they come came to blows. That would have been reported. Reported, I think. But either way, I did hear at first it was like, oh, yeah, they fought and then every other report from it that I saw was like, it is a rumor. But we're hearing that it was a heated exchange and then they had to be separated. Now, if that is even true. Yeah, I think that you are right. And that it would be like, hey, where's my coin color?

[Crystal]

I would like $28 million that I believe you owe to me, colored boy. And maybe from there, you know, I think that's probably more likely, but who's to say?

[Kid Fury]

I think it's just fierce that the person reporting this and clearing it up is the bread.

[Crystal]

That is so. That is just so. And I know he's saying, don't raise

[Kid Fury]

your baby with this cute lady.

[Crystal]

No, right on, Ricky.

[Kid Fury]

You are a mom. You already have a beautiful family. You better let that speak for himself. Oh, my God. Adorable.

[Crystal]

They are so cute. What's her wife's name?

[Kid Fury]

So cute.

[Crystal]

Judy. Judy. Yeah. Big booty Judy. The two of them are really adorable.

[Kid Fury]

Fair.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, I mean, I'm sure that's. Dude, is that what they call it?

[Crystal]

Yeah. I mean, that ass is crazy.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crystal]

That ass is.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah.

[Crystal]

I would be shocked if she's the reason that is even a saying because goddamn. But I saw a video with them too, where I was like, wow. Yeah, Let this spread out so that everybody know lesbian relationships. Not always. You don't just come over here and everything's great. Them two went through it as well. But yeah, yeah, let Brat break the news. Why not? This was so funny. Cuz nobody who isn't black is going to hear about this. It came from the Rickey Smiley morning Show. Like, I don't think white people even too much know what that is

[Kid Fury]

on the Daily Mail. Oh, right.

[Crystal]

Okay, well, all right.

[Kid Fury]

So there. That's the truth. Um, I briefly spoke on here about Cameron suing J. Cole, didn't I?

[Crystal]

You did.

[Kid Fury]

So now there's a teaser for a new episode of Cameron's podcast or one of his podcasts where he's like, speaking about something and then he's interrupted because someone walks into the studio. Oh, my goodness, it's J. Cole. Oh, I am so surprised. One piece, shock face. And then they do some little bit where it's like, hey, what you doing here, bro? I'm saying, my. A lawsuit. For real? Really? And then like graphic new episodes whenever I'm gonna watch it because, you know, this is my type of. It is. I love Diplomats, but yeah, I guess they piece it up and now they're gonna make content out of it.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Kid Fury]

Hooray.

[Crystal]

Fun.

[Kid Fury]

Do you want to talk about this settlement that is, I guess, out in the open for Candy and Todd?

[Crystal]

Let's do. Why not?

[Kid Fury]

Have you looked it over?

[Crystal]

I have seen it. Yes, I was.

[Kid Fury]

What are your thoughts?

[Crystal]

Well, are we gonna. Are you gonna.

[Kid Fury]

Sure.

[Crystal]

Okay. I'm gonna tell what it is. So

[Kid Fury]

most of this seems pretty straightforward. Pretty decent, right?

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Nobody's paying child support. There's no spousal support. They're going to be sharing legal and physical custody between Ace and blaze. Ace is 10 now.

[Crystal]

Wow. Thank you.

[Kid Fury]

And Blaze. I guess that would make Blaze like seven. They keep the kids passport? No, Candy keeps the kids passports. But Ty can request them if he wants to take them international.

[Crystal]

That makes sense.

[Kid Fury]

These niggas got like 12 cars, so candy gets five of them.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

I get six.

[Crystal]

Why do two people with a combined total of four legs need 11 vehicles?

[Kid Fury]

This is such a really pertinent question.

[Crystal]

Wow.

[Kid Fury]

A question that needs answers. I'll just go down, you know, let's do make and model, bitch. Kandy is keeping.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God.

[Kid Fury]

A 2022 Bentley SUV. A Cadillac Escalade, a Ford F250. A Porsche Cayenne SUV. A 1963 Chevrolet Camaro.

[Crystal]

Camaro that.

[Kid Fury]

Well, you know. Camaro.

[Crystal]

Word.

[Kid Fury]

That's the word. Okay. Camaro.

[Crystal]

Yeah, Camaro.

[Kid Fury]

Marvel I say Camaro in a long time. What does that one even look like?

[Crystal]

If it's from 1963, this is probably some vintage pristine condition.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

That. They don't even try.

[Kid Fury]

That one. Yeah, right.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

It just stay locked up.

[Crystal]

Right, Right.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, a Camaro.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, this is like. This is a TV show car. This is a movie car. This is a. I know this car. I know this car. This is a famous car.

[Crystal]

It is a famous car.

[Kid Fury]

Like from a movie I've seen. Somebody tell me. Someone in. In. In the comments or somewhere. Please tell me what movie this is.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, that I don't know.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, it's not. I'm not thinking of this from fucking Transformers. Not the. Not that one. Who are you arguing with Me? I don't know. I'll figure it out.

[Crystal]

Okay?

[Kid Fury]

But, yeah, it is a super popular car. Not surprising. I recognize it. So, yeah, she keeps those. Todd gets a 2020 Mercedes G wagon. Wow. A Porsche 911 from 2020. A 2023 Range Rover. 1973 Ford Bronco.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

A 1963 Lincoln and a Ford Transit van.

[Crystal]

What is that? Like a Sprinter for all them kids?

[Kid Fury]

Candy was like, girl, I don't want that.

[Crystal]

It do look like a sprinter. I'm not gonna lie. I just googled it. Oh, yeah. Candy said. Okay, yeah, you may have that. Wow. All right, well.

[Kid Fury]

But, you know, I think back to your little beacon in the sand. Right?

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

Okay. So Candy and then. And then Todd and you have five cards. I mean, they're just rich, like, whatever, Right?

[Crystal]

You know, y' all are just rich. She is just rich. And so, yeah, it happens.

[Kid Fury]

Chris Brown did some shit the other day too, where he was, you know, I don't know, trying to argue with or going back and forth with somebody I remember who don't care. But his little petty response was to show off, like, each one of his cars. And I promise you, it was like 12, 13 of them.

[Crystal]

Wow.

[Kid Fury]

And I'm like, okay, here I am in my simulation. I'm wealthy. I don't know why I would have more than two. Two, sure. The bad bitch that I really don't take out, especially not on this coast. Because girl just give it away, you know, like at that point.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

And then the girly that we hit the beat with.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Seven cars.

[Crystal]

For what? I mean, I. I think some of them older ones are clearly, like. I'm imagining they're just collectibles. Right? Like that one, like, Jay Leno has, like, garages full of cars that he certainly doesn't drive, and they're just.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, collectibles.

[Crystal]

Yeah. But I mean, I. I'm thinking three max. Like a regular, everyday car. But then, you know what I'm thinking of regular every day, Three max. I'm thinking like, you know, a Toyota Camry or something.

[Kid Fury]

Tercel,

[Crystal]

y'. All. Everyday car is a Bentley suv, a G Wagon. Like, we living two different lifestyles.

[Kid Fury]

I'm hitting the street in a fresh Honda Civic.

[Crystal]

Yeah. But, you know, sure, why not? I actually don't. That. All of that made sense to me. No child support, no spousal support. Kandi really won on that. What was hilarious to me was that,

[Kid Fury]

oh, I'm not done.

[Crystal]

Oh, okay. So to say. Cause we didn't even get to the funny part.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, no, I'm. I'm just getting through the things that sound like, oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Crystal]

Gotcha.

[Kid Fury]

You know, a person having six cars doesn't. But you know what? I'm also thinking about the cars. One of these is, like, hot pink with purple interior and a tassel that says Pussy Wagon on the front. Like, that's when I'm, like, feeling my cunt.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

You know, maybe something stronger design Especially, but still. Okay, so they're selling a food truck. The real estate is being. Oh, no, the real estate stuff was redacted.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Kid Fury]

Of course, Todd gotta leave the guest house within 15 days.

[Crystal]

Get out of her home.

[Kid Fury]

Beat it. Now it says Slura's equalization. Kandi will be paying Todd a lump sum of $426,000. 426,000 of Mama Joyce's money. They're splitting their credit card reward points, which I think is hilarious. Hilarious can even happen.

[Crystal]

Hilarious. They're like, no, those are worth something. For real? No, because think about.

[Kid Fury]

No, I mean, they are.

[Crystal]

Think about it. They probably have millions and millions of points.

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Yeah. Actually, Todd, like, no.

[Kid Fury]

I just would have never even thought that that was something on the paperwork. But it does make sense. What else does it say? Oh, Todd had to pay her 38,000 to satisfy a balance that was owed on some Atlanta Hawks season tickets from 2025 to 2026. Kandi keeps the tickets.

[Crystal]

This is so funny as well. That is what the splitting the credit card.

[Kid Fury]

A rich divorce is funny.

[Crystal]

And the season tickets. Cause let's do candy. Even go to them Hawks games.

[Kid Fury]

Like, she will go now. I bet you she go see her at every one of them shits now with red bottoms and red tops. She's going to be. Of course.

[Crystal]

Okay, sure, Kandy. You got it.

[Kid Fury]

She probably gonna be sitting next to a mystery man before the season end.

[Crystal]

Oh, now, if you are looking to like, catch the eye of somebody else rich, then I could see how sitting courtside would be appealing. But I'm like, have I ever seen Kandi courtside at a Hawks game?

[Kid Fury]

Like, she probably has been at least once or twice.

[Crystal]

I think that's more of him. I think he has been the one.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, these tickets. Hell yeah.

[Crystal]

Right? Oh, nevermind. Google says she goes kind of frequently. So maybe they argued over it. Like, maybe they. I mean, but I would think you could just get more if you cared that much. But whatever. They're very expensive. It's expensive to have right. Courtside season tickets. Even if the NBA team is a flop, that's still expensive. So.

[Kid Fury]

And let me tell you something. I think for K was probably the bottom line, which is that I. I'm the rich one.

[Crystal]

You wouldn't have never got these without me. Yeah. Never.

[Kid Fury]

Ultimately, no. Because as expensive as they are, Kenny got like three, four, five more jobs upcoming. Yeah, she got a revival of I can't remember what it's called. She got a new show with Taraji P. Henson, Cedric the Entertainer and Debbie Allen is producing or directing it. And then she has a one woman show also that just sold out. Candy, keep a check Burris. Like, she probably could go get some more tickets, but she's not gonna.

[Crystal]

But she's not gonna. Cause she has probably had those tickets for a long time. I wouldn't be shocked if she simply bought them to have them. You know, Kandi is Atlanta, so, I mean, I guess it makes sense. It's just the idea of Todd giving that lady $40,000 to satisfy the balance due on that is just so funny to me.

[Kid Fury]

And then it's really, really, really splitting

[Crystal]

the credit card rewards just like. I know, I know Todd came up with that. Todd said, now wait a minute.

[Kid Fury]

Cause, yeah, that makes sense. A scheme set up.

[Crystal]

But yeah, it sounds like Candy really won here. $426,000 lump sum and six cars is really all he's getting.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. So I mean, to be clear, that's. That's to equal out the fact that I'm keeping my house. I'm keeping my residence, you're moving out, and I'm keeping these businesses, most of them anyway, because they're mine. Go something.

[Crystal]

Shout out.

[Kid Fury]

God bless.

[Crystal]

Two prenups without a prenup. This would have been way worse for her. So.

[Kid Fury]

Way worse.

[Crystal]

Way worse. So go you. Glad you.

[Kid Fury]

I saw a clip of her on Watch what happens live. I saw it on my. My YouTube and that lady was glowing.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah. Happier.

[Kid Fury]

She looks fantastic. All right, what else do we have? Oh, apparently there are rumors that Nicki Minaj is banned from the Met Gala, and so I guess we can just ban. Unless you have something to say. I mean, it's like she's not gonna be allowed or not invited to the Met Gala this year.

[Crystal]

I mean, wasn't that always up to the designers and Anna Wintour anyway? I mean, yeah, I can see how a bunch of designers wouldn't want you there since you've gone full MAGA girl. It's not too many MAGA designers out there, so. I mean, especially not at that level. Not. They don't make cute things. They don't have create. That's why her wigs and makeup and styling and everything has been a fucking mess lately because the people who are aligned with those values don't look good and they don't know what looks good. So, no, I'm not shocked that nobody wants to dress Nicki Minaj for the fucking Met Gala. She's an embarrassment.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah.

[Crystal]

That album still coming out on Friday or You changed your mind? For real? For real. We'll see.

[Kid Fury]

That's interesting.

[Crystal]

It is.

[Kid Fury]

This light skinned gay boy from some Tyler Perry thing said that gay, gay niggas going to hell because, you know, if you gay, God still love you because he love atheists and rapists too, or whatever the fuck. But he came. I don't think he said rapist.

[Crystal]

Okay, okay. Jesus.

[Kid Fury]

But he just named like a whole bunch of obvious people and then, you know, obviously horrible people and then, you know, I mean, atheists aren't even whatever. He just named all of these things and it was like, you know, you gay N too. Like, God loves you because he made you, but you can kick it with him in heaven. He definitely said you can't kick it with him in heaven. And he also said after you die, there's only two places for you to go, which is heaven in hell.

[Crystal]

Okay. I mean, that's a pretty common belief amongst Christians. I'm not sure why. All right.

[Kid Fury]

But also, you're wrong. I mean, because the Bible also pretty clearly talks about more than just two states of the afterlife. Furthermore, most especially if you're looking in the Old Testament like the OG baby. Furthermore, a lot of y' all still consider hell to be this lake of fire where you're tormented forever and ever and ever. And a lot of where that came from was also interpreted in a different way. And I think commonly you can look into it as a state of the dead and separation from God. Now, I mean, faith, depiction, whatever, but this is a part, another part of the reason why I say some of you should just keep God out of your mouth and just do your own spiritual due diligence, pray, tithe, whatever it is that you feel like doing, but also shut your ass up. Especially when it comes to condemning people that ain't saying shit to you, you know? Right. Because a lot of times the girlies can dive in.

[Crystal]

I'm just not. I'm not sure what provoked him to say this. Like, you work for a, a openly gay nigga. You can take gay money as like a salary, but you can't.

[Kid Fury]

We just know.

[Crystal]

Is he okay? Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. We are widely known to be gay niggas. So I don't know. God not mad at you for that. If you feel that strongly about it, shouldn't you be.

[Kid Fury]

You play a game. They go on this show.

[Crystal]

Does he really? Well, I thought when you said, when you called him gay, I thought you meant he was gay in real life, which was like, okay, no, no, no. So this is some self hating shit, but never mind.

[Kid Fury]

It could be.

[Crystal]

It could be. Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, yeah, he plays like a gay prostitute on one of these damn TVs.

[Crystal]

Oh right. So you can portray a gay person from For Gay Dollars but actually being gay is where God draws the line. Is that what you're telling me?

[Kid Fury]

This is actually quite common in a lot of men who aren't openly gay who play gay characters or feminine characters or characters who at some point in a bit have to like dress in drag. They immediately feel like conflicted in their manhood, in their spirituality and all these types of things. And instead of doing their own individual work on that, they have to spew out all of this hate because they feel some type of way of being in. They feel some type of way about playing a gay person. Or remember like Brandon T. Jackson making his whole career about how he got blackballed because he wore a skirt and a wig in Big Mama's House four or whatever.

[Crystal]

Oh right, yeah, I had to google him. But now I remember what you're talking about.

[Kid Fury]

It is pretty common where people feel some type of way because they played a gay person. Probably because people then assume maybe you're gay and then you feel some type of way of that. Even though, whatever. There's no excuse for this type of dumb shit. Especially when you gonna get on the Internet for everybody to see and talk about God and God is going.

[Crystal]

I mean the thing about it is I think you get stuck with this gay label no shade when you're not that great of an actor in the first place. Because Sterling K. Brown has played somebody gay and you don't see him being hit with these same accusations of because you played a gay character, you must now like, we don't automatically assign homosexuality to him just because of this one role. And I don't. I'm looking at Brandon T. Jackson's resume here. I'm not seeing anything super impressive like you wore a skirt in Big Mama's House like that. I, I'm not seeing anything that would indicate to me that you've turned out some incredible acting job where people can suspend belief. I guess like I'm just not.

[Kid Fury]

Or would just commonly request slash cast you for blank.

[Crystal]

You have a very.

[Kid Fury]

If you're not a great actor, it's gonna affect you getting work.

[Crystal]

Roll Bounce, Tropic Thunder.

[Kid Fury]

But that's not to say that ooh, Tropic Thunder's not a great one.

[Crystal]

No, like none of these are.

[Kid Fury]

But it's not to say that Hollywood does not also sometimes go, oh, that's the. This bitch.

[Crystal]

Eh?

[Kid Fury]

You know, that absolutely happens too, but it rarely happens because you played a gay character or because you wore a wig in a bit.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

Like, almost never.

[Crystal]

I just don't think that. I think your acting ability has a. Has an influence here that maybe you don't want to completely acknowledge. Like, it. It even looks like. I'm looking on his Wikipedia. It looks like he's more of a comedian than anything else. Like, he.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yeah, Brandon T. Jackson was a comedian.

[Crystal]

So then, sir. Okay, maybe work on your stand up then, bro. I don't know what to tell you. Like, yes, Hollywood is unfair, and maybe some people have typecast you or pigeonholed you in that way, but I don't know. It seems like you've taken that out on the gays instead of the powers that be. And what's the point of that?

[Kid Fury]

Martin has done it 1 million 13

[Crystal]

times, and nobody, in fact, one of

[Kid Fury]

his most iconic Eddie Murphy characters is Shanaynae Jenkins.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. No one was like, is Martin, girl? Martin looks pretty. I get crystal. He didn't just do Shanaynae on that thing. He had a host of characters that look like a holes. He was a white man in one part. It was fun. Remember the episode where he was.

[Crystal]

I love when we do that because it never looks good.

[Kid Fury]

It always looks horrible, and we like it. They look terrible.

[Crystal]

And the way

[Kid Fury]

white people love that movie.

[Crystal]

No, I mean, I think everybody loves that movie. Seriously, it is so fucking fun.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, but they look awful.

[Crystal]

They look not at all like two white women. Like, not even. They don't. And the fact that.

[Kid Fury]

The fact that this big black nigga is like, ooh, you're mean. What is that? Terry Crews believing that this is a white woman and then wanting to woo her. All of that was ridiculous.

[Crystal]

And the whole gag being that he was black and not that he was a man at the end, that Terry Crews character was like, this whole time you've been black. And he was like, bro, I'm a man. He's like, but you a black one. Yuck.

[Kid Fury]

Shawn Wayans in Scary Movie.

[Crystal]

Anyway, I actually forgot what we were.

[Kid Fury]

So he posted a iOS press release. Whoever. Whoever, you know, wrote this up for him. You know, maybe it was ChatGPT. They did a great job.

[Crystal]

Wait, who posted it?

[Kid Fury]

It says all the things the. The dude. Xavier Smalls.

[Crystal]

Oh, the Tyler Perry.

[Kid Fury]

Nyla Perry. Got you.

[Crystal]

Okay, okay.

[Kid Fury]

You know. Oh. I look back on what I said on Instagram live, people who Care about me. Reached out to me and told me about suicide rates among teens. The stories of people like tyler Clementi, the nine year old boy. I'm like, okay, girl, Ms. Jipt got you together. Ms. Gpit got you together, honey.

[Crystal]

Tyler Perry Studios said, here is your statement. You can just screenshot this look. Right, right, right.

[Kid Fury]

It's bad enough out here. Now you got a new problems.

[Crystal]

I'm getting sued left and right. We can't have this.

[Kid Fury]

Well, Xavier, as an openly gay man who also loves God, um, sometimes I think he's. I'm his favorite. I will say to you, Xavier, that the silver lining in all this for me is more like a rose gold diamond lining. Because I know who the fuck you are to begin with. Like, it's the first and last time I've ever seen you in my life. I had absolutely no idea who you were. This is legitimately my introduction to you because I'll watch that. And I'm never going to.

[Crystal]

I'm never going to.

[Kid Fury]

So hope this helps.

[Crystal]

I mean, it sounds like he kind of apologized. Like, oh, once I found out that y' all be killing yourselves, I was like, okay. God wouldn't want that either. Like, all right.

[Kid Fury]

And girl, guess what? It's not gonna stop a fag from watching.

[Crystal]

So it's not you. You were hired. I'm sure you're. You're very attractive, I'm sure, because Tyler Perry don't tend to hire ugly men, especially youngish men. So you were hired to do a job. And it's important that you just go on ahead and execute that job. I'm also in the same boat as Kid Fury. Never seen whatever show you own and never will, but, you know, not once. It was deeply ignorant what you said. And I hope the apology is real. Like, I hope the growth is there. And even if you didn't type this up, I hope you truly believe in that statement. I really do.

[Kid Fury]

I hope that even if it was, first of all, the AI thing is a joke. Well, it's not really that much of a joke for me. Me, because it very well could be. People use it like Google, but either way, no crazy. And Google is fierce now.

[Crystal]

I mean, I just put the little minus AI at the end of all of my Google searches because I hate that AI overview.

[Kid Fury]

But yeah, oh, yeah, I don't talk about that.

[Crystal]

I don't like that.

[Kid Fury]

A. The. The Google is giving you all of the things, even without the AI, the ordering is really great. It gives me like, it's all plugged in and it just takes. I feel like it's quicker, isn't it?

[Crystal]

I have not noticed, maybe. I mean, like, I feel like it

[Kid Fury]

would take me less time to just press the Google app on my phone and go, why did Steph Curry make goat?

[Crystal]

Mm.

[Kid Fury]

Then to like open an AI thing. Oh, I guess it is the same monotype, huh?

[Crystal]

Well, I mean, the. I guess so, but that, it, the. It's the difference in output that I'm thinking about more than anything else. Like, y' all use Chat GPT to answer questions when ChatGPT will just literally say anything like, nobody's fact checking that shit. It just will come up with anything. It'll give you fake sources.

[Kid Fury]

And other than just it. Google it.

[Crystal]

No, I don't think so. I think if it googled it, then it would be more accurate more of the time. But yeah, that's especially the youth. They use Chat GPT and Tick tock. Like, it's Google.

[Kid Fury]

Tick tock is. I don't think TikTok is as frightening for me, but I also don't get it. Like, I don't even understand how you

[Crystal]

would, like, if they, if they have a flat tire on the side of the road, they'll. They'll tick tock search how to change a flat tire and it'll just show you. They'll show you videos of people who are like, this is how you change a flat tire. Make sure you have all these things. Blah, blah. So, I mean, I don't know. I. It. It scares me a little bit.

[Kid Fury]

It happens.

[Crystal]

Yeah. You're. I'm old. I don't understand what you people.

[Kid Fury]

I think that, you know, our parents in them generations, when they saw the sidekick, they were probably like, get out of my face.

[Crystal]

Yeah, like, sidekick.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, girl. When the iPhone came out and where are the buttons?

[Crystal]

The fact that it was that crazy, like the whole hype and everything behind the iPhone, I remember the elders being like, and for what? And for what? You want me to go wait in line and spend $200 and switch to AT&T and do all for this crazy phone to. To do what with? You know, like, they just. They didn't get it. And. And that's me now. I'm like, why you wouldn't just search YouTube? Why you wouldn't just call Roadside Assistant? Why would you. Why would you ask TikTok? Like, that's just not some shit. I would. Anyway, I'm. I'm elderly and I'm fine with that.

[Kid Fury]

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[Crystal]

Hey y'. All. You know what really grinds my gears? The fact that everything these days feels like it costs so much more than it used to. And I do mean everything. Groceries, gas, all kinds of bills. It all adds up. And we've all felt that pressure of trying to make our money stretch a little further. I am being so much more careful with my spending. I actually have a budget budget that I am very strongly sticking to these days. I'm double and triple checking prices. I'm comparison shopping all that to try to spend as little as possible when the cost of everything is skyrocketing. So when your tax refund hits and you're thinking about what's the best way to keep more money in your pocket without giving something up. I have a real life hack for you. Switch to Metro and save with no activation FEES and get one line of 5G for only $25. Yes, only $25 and no contracts that get in the way. But the best part is that you can keep the phone you love and keep your number. That's a lot of ands, but that's exactly the point. More money in your pocket, better value. All at Metro T Mobile. So get that more for your money feeling. Only a Metro. Visit your local store or metroby t mobile.com and switch today $30 first month $25 after with autopay.

[Kid Fury]

I can't even remember what I was A movie came to mind that I hadn't seen In a while. The other day, like a couple of days ago, and I just put the name in Google. Cause I was trying to figure out if there was someplace that I could stream it, and I put the name in Google. And Google literally has a thing on there that's like, where to watch.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, it does. So I was like, oh, so convenient.

[Kid Fury]

And it clicks. You click on it. It tells you where it's free, where

[Crystal]

it's not, how much it costs. Yep, Very useful. I use that all the time, actually.

[Kid Fury]

I. I guess in my mind, I understand the concept of Chat GP, like using ChatGPT, like Google, because I guess it would give you words.

[Crystal]

Okay. Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And I'm used to, like, looking something up and reading. So the concept of looking something up to get videos of it is. Is a little bit weird to me. But I also don't want to come off as judgmental because, again, I'm just older.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Six, seven, you know.

[Crystal]

Oh, man. Yep.

[Kid Fury]

Speaking of Tyler Perry, gay ass, why did poor Lauren laros have to come out here and tell you bitches that this picture with him and Marlo Hampton was AI? Why does she need to tell you that? Like, why did you not look at that photo of Tyler Perry pissing off Hampton at his event and go, oh, this is fake. A, because it looks like AI. And B, Tyler Perry, gay.

[Crystal]

Right. I mean, I honestly would think that was number one, but. Oh, I see the pictures. Wait, what?

[Kid Fury]

So why did it looks fake? I mean, if you had never heard of AI before, then you might go, oh, my goodness.

[Crystal]

No. Especially this one with him, like, with her legs wrapped up on him. Like, be real. Y' all play too much. This is the problem with AI. I'll be glad when these people can start suing y' all behind this dumb shit. Cause this is so tame. Wow. So Lauren LaRosa had to. She had to come online and be like, y', all, this is ChatGPT. This is not real, y'. All. Why would it be Marlo Hampton? Why would. Why would it be a woman around his same age? Why would it be that. No billionaire man does that? Sorry, they don't do that.

[Kid Fury]

You know, the little shady pessimistic nymph that lives on my shoulder is like, what if one of the production girls was like, let's. With all of these. Tyler Perry. Oh, they're like, oh, we got all these butch queens making all these allegations. Let's get on the AI girly.

[Crystal]

Oh, Lord.

[Kid Fury]

That's why it's 95 goddamn degrees in LA in February ho. Because y' all doing this shit.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And asking and asking Chatgpt how to get over your breakup. And ChatGPT is just like, well, girl, fuck him. How do you want to get up here?

[Crystal]

First of all, you take some time to yourself, diva. Like, wow, you had to burn up the planet for that. You had to kill clean water in Atlanta for that. You did. It was worth it to you.

[Kid Fury]

Damn.

[Crystal]

God damn, man.

[Kid Fury]

Damn. Marlo hates, right? I mean, the photos are from a real event where they're. Did you see the other picture where they're, like, standing side by side?

[Crystal]

I'm not even sure which one is fake. I knew the one where they were kissing.

[Kid Fury]

The one with them kissing is fake.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

But there's one where they're standing, like, side by side.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Because he had some event and she was there, and so someone took that and made it into them kissing, I guess.

[Crystal]

Weird.

[Kid Fury]

Did you hear about people using Grok to take people's clothes off?

[Crystal]

What the fuck is Grok?

[Kid Fury]

Grok is Elon Musk's AI on Twitter.

[Crystal]

Wait, and it can take people's clothes off?

[Kid Fury]

Well, no, of course not anymore, I guess.

[Crystal]

Wait, what?

[Kid Fury]

People were literally posting, like, gym photos or sexy pictures, and then people would reply, grok, take their clothes off. And Grok would post nudes of the people. No dead ass. I think Elon Musk had his to say some shit like, we're going to reprogram it or whatever. And motherfuckers were re. Rightfully reporting them and filing lawsuits.

[Crystal]

I mean, and, like, some of you

[Kid Fury]

bitches can go to prison for that.

[Crystal]

That is.

[Kid Fury]

Or jail, Whichever one.

[Crystal]

It's just way too easy for y' all to then turn around and do that. I'm sure you're doing it with women, but it's too easy for y' all to do it with kids. Oh.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, my God.

[Crystal]

I'm thinking. So what's to stop y' all from uploading a picture of children and being like, grok, take the clothes off? Like, what?

[Kid Fury]

This is what I'm talking about.

[Crystal]

And obviously, it doesn't really take you off. It generates an image of what it thinks your nude body would look like. But that's still teens.

[Kid Fury]

You can still take those photos literally right here and act.

[Crystal]

March 16, Washington Post. Teens sue Musk's AI saying Grok made sexual images of them as minor. Wow.

[Kid Fury]

Wow.

[Crystal]

Who didn't see that coming? Why would you? Why wouldn't you? It just feels like if. If engineers and real people still had jobs over there at Twitter. Then somebody would have said during the development of Grok, we should put in safeguards to make sure it doesn't do things like generate nude images of people or depict them doing illegal or incredibly immoral things. Like what?

[Kid Fury]

The things they don't do.

[Crystal]

Oh, but, you know, Elon Musk is a Twitter.

[Kid Fury]

Maybe if that was the case. Maybe if that was the case, people at Twitter would be like, why have a Grok? Oh, you just have Twitter. There's a whole lot of shit going on. On.

[Crystal]

The Grok is free.

[Kid Fury]

It's free. I think.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God.

[Kid Fury]

If anything on Twitter is free anymore, everybody paying for that shit now. So they got a blue check.

[Crystal]

The way my first thought was, somebody's gonna use this against kids, and then you're really gonna be in trouble. And then, bam. Teenagers. Wow. What a. You're a horrible person, man. Why wouldn't.

[Kid Fury]

No, the devil.

[Crystal]

Okay. Why wouldn't this be. If you had a safety team, a protection and privacy department. If there were attorneys employed over there. Like, I know he fired everybody who worked at Twitter and kept that bitch running. But, like, just seems like.

[Kid Fury]

And if this is March 16th of this year.

[Crystal]

Yes, this last week.

[Kid Fury]

Incredibly wild, because I heard about this last year, these kids, and the allegation from him of, oh, we're gonna fix it. So, okay, so you didn't.

[Crystal]

So either this happened before then and they're just now getting around to the lawsuit, or you didn't fix it rapidly enough.

[Kid Fury]

That is possible.

[Crystal]

Oh, wow.

[Kid Fury]

That is possible.

[Crystal]

But so now they are accusing Xai, which I guess is what Grok is really called, of distributing, possessing, and producing with intent to distribute child pornography like that. Add blood. Put her in a bikini. Why would you want to add blood? Force her to smile.

[Kid Fury]

Why wouldn't the Internet.

[Crystal]

Oh, my gosh. Y' all going way too far.

[Kid Fury]

It's almost like people there have forgotten that it is a web of any and everybody and any and every.

[Crystal]

Right. Okay, well, look.

[Kid Fury]

And we should be taking extra measures to protect children and underage folk, teens from, you know, everything everywhere, all at once.

[Crystal]

And that should be basic, especially considering don't you only have to be 13 to have a Twitter? Like, you don't even have to be 18 to have a Twitter. So why wouldn't you?

[Kid Fury]

TikTok.

[Crystal]

You deserve these. You deserve these lawsuits. I actually hope more of them are coming.

[Kid Fury]

I hope many more of them come bankrupt that nigga.

[Crystal]

Take Twitter away from him and give it to somebody who, I don't know, believes in following the law. Bare minimum, just a guess. Just throwing that out there.

[Kid Fury]

The silly AI shit doesn't even really surprise me anymore as much as I roll my eyes. But when I saw that shit last year, my mouth was literally wide open. I could not believe that it was possible to do it and that people were doing it like, like crazy.

[Crystal]

Y' all are depraved.

[Kid Fury]

Cuz even when they saw that it was possible, motherfuckers are obviously gonna go back to pictures that somebody's posted already

[Crystal]

and do like years ago and just re upload it. And you doing all this, My pussy

[Kid Fury]

could be on in. Let me stop.

[Crystal]

I don't think you have to have a public account, right? Cause otherwise Grok wouldn't be able to see your request to undress somebody. Like, you have to make that request publicly. Right? Can you dm. Gracias.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Crystal]

So y' all are on your public Twitter accounts.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Tagging this AI and being like this woman who's in a burqa. Go and put her in a bikini and put blood all over her chest and then make her smiling and on her knees with a dick in her mouth or something. Like, I just. Y', all. You have to be one sick motherfucker to even think of that. How did you even think of asking the AI to take somebody's clothes off? Overly freaked out, Too horny, Go to jail.

[Kid Fury]

I feel like the grass cut all over the planet right now and everybody. The snakes are just like, his, his girl. Cause and there's so many corners that I run around and oh, here's another freaky ass, weird ass, evil ass wall. Let me do a 180. Oh, it's a maze of freaky demons.

[Crystal]

Yeah, it's really feeling like that. The Epstein class is everywhere.

[Kid Fury]

Right when you have Grab him by the pussy. Right up top, who's still a gargling cum. Everybody is like, oh, well, why don't I also be an outside flight pest and demon and racist and criminal and. Because, I mean, if she can anyway, duh. Tyler Perry one kissing a woman in public. He's gay.

[Crystal]

I forgot that that's how this started.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, Lotto was pregnant. Oh, yes.

[Crystal]

I. I had no idea. I. I had no idea there were even rumors.

[Kid Fury]

Well, she posted a picture before this with her belly out, and people were like, oh, what's this prosthetic? And I was looking at her, I'm like, okay, I don't. I'm not super smart. I don't do like makeup and prosthetics. But this girl Looked like.

[Crystal]

Well, she's just always. So much of her music has been like, woo, girl, baby mama, it could never be me. Don't know what the you hoes is going through. Why would y' all even do that to y' all selves? Like, so I think it's surprising in that regard. Like, we just had the Big Mama no kids on that Summer Walker song or whatever it was, so.

[Kid Fury]

But now she has a kid.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I think it's just a little. People are probably a little surprised.

[Kid Fury]

One of her homegirls comments was like, big Mama one kid. I don't understand why rap niggas can constantly rap about gang shit, crime shit that they don't do or believe. Rappers like Future can rap about drugs that they don't take a lotto crap about.

[Crystal]

I don't know.

[Kid Fury]

Them niggas be Future always. Future has said a number of times that he don't really drink lean. He could be lying.

[Crystal]

Oh, okay.

[Kid Fury]

But there are a number of rappers that talk about pills and lean and all this other stuff, either taking it or selling it or both. And they don't.

[Crystal]

Yeah. So

[Kid Fury]

lotto before having a kid, being like, big mama, no kids. I'll spend that 500 if I ever trap you or whatever.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Now she has a. She's expecting a baby with her boyfriend in like six, seven years. And y' all jump into her comments, trying to drag her around about it. I just think it's weird.

[Crystal]

Is he really married?

[Kid Fury]

I think he is married to some girl who now has a boyfriend. I think he has some kids with her too.

[Crystal]

Yeah, he has.

[Kid Fury]

Some people are like, well, that's how he got his Visa or some other shit. But I'm like, I couldn't tell if

[Crystal]

he was actually married. That's what, that's why I was like, I, I, I am looking at this a little strange if that man is legally married to somebody else. Because why would you go into a messy situation and make it messier by adding a baby to it?

[Kid Fury]

But I couldn't see the wife liked the picture.

[Crystal]

Yeah. And I couldn't see no confirmation for as to whether they were really married. Anyway, I just ended up finding out that he has three kids. These two boys with that lady and then a girl with.

[Kid Fury]

I knew he had other kids.

[Crystal]

Yeah. So.

[Kid Fury]

But I didn't know about him being married until this thing happened.

[Crystal]

Right. I mean, congratulations. Good luck.

[Kid Fury]

Same.

[Crystal]

Yeah, good. Good luck, baby. And I was just like, girl, all

[Kid Fury]

right, you having a good time or whatever? I suppose, because you feel like, okay, well, no, you. You a baby mama too. Okay, well, you're. When you're finished with that, you post your fucking remedial ass. Ho ass, stupid, dirty ass baby daddy too. Let's all just get in some soup like, bitch, please. You think we can't still scroll back to your fuck nigga with another family?

[Crystal]

Ho. Oh, damn. With another family.

[Kid Fury]

You think we can't talk about your daddy, bitch? Girl, shut your ass up. Anyway, I saw. I got robbed. Oh, wait, Megan. Thee stallion did Broadway.

[Crystal]

Oh, I thought you were gonna talk about the Jay Z thing. Yes, she did.

[Kid Fury]

What's the Jay Z thing?

[Crystal]

The GQ interview. You haven't seen the GQ interview?

[Kid Fury]

Oh, I haven't read it yet.

[Crystal]

Oh, okay.

[Kid Fury]

I knew about him being on the COVID but I haven't read it yet.

[Crystal]

It's pretty good.

[Kid Fury]

I'm definitely gonna check that. You know, he's doing a Roots Picnic with, I wanna say, Erykah Badu.

[Crystal]

Yes, he's doing Roots Picnic and he's doing three shows at Yankee Stadium. I think an album's coming out in June or July. I don't really know. Cause it could just be. I mean, you know, he's had a. He's put a lot out and it's the 30th year anniversary of Reasonable Doubts medley.

[Kid Fury]

Shit. He could easily, easily be the Sense again.

[Crystal]

Just do that. But yeah, he.

[Kid Fury]

You know, also, that hair's not cut. But also, he did say, I think to Gayle King that Blue Ivy was like, no Blue Ivy. He literally said Blue Ivy was like, do not cut your dreads. It's like your look or something. I thought that was so fierce. That lady has been. That girl has been bullying them since she got here.

[Crystal]

You. You really should. And she's right. You should read it. He talks about how so the Beehive is going crazy because he said something about, you know, Blue's journey on stage, blah, blah. We all know Blue worked really hard for this and, you know, wasn't handed to her. Then he said something like, you know, she wanted to be on stage for every number. And I'm like, you not gonna be on stage while your mama dancing. While your mama singing Six Inch Heels. Like, Be for Real. And so then the MTAC was like. So then the Hive, of course the Hive was like, now, Six Inch Hills was not a part of Renaissance. It was not a part of Cowboy Carter. So is she currently in rehearsals for Act 3? And if so, is 6 inch heels a part of that? Like, they. They taking it as him slipping up and providing a little bit. I said, you know what? Hybe? I'm not mad. I'm not mad.

[Kid Fury]

Why do we do this every fucking year? We drag ourselves. It is fun, though. I love it. This lady pick a flower and we're like, lavender. Lavender. Peony. Peony's the next one.

[Crystal]

Okay, look, it's a daisy. It's got six petals. That means six days until six weeks until she announces the album in six

[Kid Fury]

months on the six. It really is fun.

[Crystal]

It is fun. But I mean, we gotta be getting

[Kid Fury]

an act three, Ryan. We gotta get the rock soul.

[Crystal]

We gotta get the fuck. Not this year, though. I think everybody who was worried about during this year, we do not have to worry about it.

[Kid Fury]

I don't think so.

[Crystal]

It's Jay Z's turn to do that. She gonna be, I don't know, somewhere with them kids. I was not playing the hungry games

[Kid Fury]

from the backstage that a few of

[Crystal]

them I literally refused.

[Kid Fury]

Or whatchamacallit rehearsals, like.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Or just thankfully kicking up them legs and cradling them kids and watching Heated Rivalry like the rest of us. You think Beyonce ever watched Heated Robbery?

[Crystal]

Maybe. I know I. I have a feeling they watch a lot of trash. Like, not that trash, but I know they watch or watched Real Housewives of Atlanta. Cause when she said that twirler. I mean me.

[Kid Fury]

Well, technically me. Cause I haven't watched that shit in a while.

[Crystal]

Right? But I think she probably watches, you know, Bridgerton and all that shit. She probably really does.

[Kid Fury]

She probably watched Paradise.

[Crystal]

So there was that. That he talked about. And then he also talked about the Drake and Kendrick beef, which was.

[Kid Fury]

Shut up. Okay, don't tell me. Don't. Okay, I won't tell you.

[Crystal]

I won't tell you. We'll talk about it next week. But

[Kid Fury]

I wonder if it's on newsstands already.

[Crystal]

Oh, that. I don't know.

[Kid Fury]

I buy magazines, probably. Yeah, I get Vogue in the mail.

[Crystal]

Of course you subscribe. Okay.

[Kid Fury]

But then you get the fierce ones, like when the girls are on the COVID I have a couple of those tucked away. But then I got one with like, Hailey Bieber on, and I'd look through that shit and throw her in the garbage.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I get Essence in the New Yorker, like, you know.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, the New Yorker.

[Crystal]

Little physical media and, you know, trying to keep black publications alive.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, era.

[Crystal]

But yeah, you should. You should go read or watch the video of it is out too on GQ's website. But you should, because he has some very interesting things to Say about me, when he talked to. Okay, I'm not gonna talk about Drake and Kendrick. But when he talked about choosing acts for the Super Bowl, Bad Bunny came up and he was like, I mean, let's be real. I'm not going out on a limb here. I'm picking the biggest artists in the world. Like, this is the most streamed artist in the world. It's fucking Rihanna, you know, Like, I'm not picking some indie nigga out of Portland that ain't nobody ever heard of that. I really want to see do a show. Like, yeah, I. It got the people talking, but. Right. He said, yeah, y' all were. Y' all had a lot to say about it, but that's the most streamed artist in the world. It was not no hard decision to be like, oh, I don't know, maybe

[Kid Fury]

Bad Bunny, you should repeat

[Crystal]

that really tickled me. But I'll save the rest of the commentary for after you get a chance to read it, because it's pretty interesting.

[Kid Fury]

Nice. Yeah, yeah, I just did. I really wanted to mention real quick, Megan.

[Crystal]

Oh, yes. Meg on stage. Which at first I was like, are you niggas supposed to be recording? I don't know that I like that. I think y' all not supposed to be recording.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, people in the audience know you're not supposed to do that, but especially that close to the dance.

[Crystal]

Right? That's how I saw the clips. So thank you.

[Kid Fury]

But I was also like, oh, this is Megan. Thee Stallion concert. Okay, cool.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I didn't realize she was playing herself. I said, oh, fun, right?

[Kid Fury]

I was like, okay, that's fine too, I guess. You look great. Oh, well, yeah. Congrats, girls. I'm wondering if they're gonna go back to Bob the Drag Queen after this. If he did, like, the remainder, I really don't know. All I saw was his curtain call.

[Crystal]

Oh, yes, I saw that. I saw a video he posted about, you know, like, his mama would be so proud. And he posted the little audio clip from. From Inside Out. Remember the first Inside out where Bing Bong had to sacrifice himself so that Joy could go back to Riley?

[Kid Fury]

Oh, my God, please don't start.

[Crystal]

He posted that about his mom.

[Kid Fury]

I did not see that.

[Crystal]

And I was like, okay, not me crying in the middle of the club. Why would you do this?

[Kid Fury]

I saw the post about, you know, it being bittersweet.

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And so many of those milestones being bittersweet, and my heart just broke. I did not see that, thankfully, because I also, too, would have been.

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah, that Actually brought a tear to my eyes. Oh, God. I know. She's so proud of you, though, bro. Gotta be.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. Like, I really, truly do believe in them staying with us, in a sense, and. And seeing us. And it doesn't. Like, it's still bittersweet. You know what I mean? It doesn't really fully heal the grieving process or make any of it better, but, you know, she's there and probably doing backflips.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

This girl. Yeah. It's a doll, baby. A world or. I don't know if she wasn't a. I don't know if the Madonna thing was a world tour.

[Crystal]

I think it was. Yeah. But honestly, once you world tour with Madonna, once you leave America, Americans are like, world tour. Wow.

[Kid Fury]

That's very true. That's very true. One show in Tobago, one show in

[Crystal]

London, one show in Paris, and we're like, wow, you went all around the globe. There's nowhere else.

[Kid Fury]

That is so fascinating.

[Crystal]

Yeah, you know, it is. It's quite something to realize a dream like that and have that be such a beautiful moment. But also, your mother is not physically here to share it with you. But I also believe that, you know, the people we love and cherish deeply like that, we carry their spirit in our hearts with us. So.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Anyway. Go, Meg. Very happy for my girl. Oh, what a life.

[Kid Fury]

Love you to form some more of the songs from the show. But, I mean, Wap during Moulin Rouge is different. That's it for the Hot Tops this week. We're gonna take a break, and then we'll come back with your letter.

[Crystal]

Hey, y'. All, you can spring into your summer plans, which are stacking up quickly. Okay. Concerts, festivals, parties, nights that' turn into mornings. I am very much so looking forward to this summer. Going to Puerto Rico with some friends, gonna go hang out back home in Texas with some family members, and trying to just relax and be as much into the vibes and the good time as I possibly can. And so, you know, a calendar like that deserves a fit that shows up just as strong. That is where True Religion spring collection comes in. Okay. It carries that signature True DNA, which is iconic, legendary, beautiful, the moment, but with a twist that feels fresh, unexpected, and of the moment. So the womenswear drop brings the range of sporty and spicy, flirty and sexy and cute and confident. I had the distinct honor of receiving some pieces from True Religion, and I actually just wore them last night. I had this very cute cropped flannel shacket that I got in addition to These mid rise jeans denim shorts with the cute little detail on the back that I wore just last night, had all the girlies giving me compliments, asking me about them. The cropped flannel shacket, especially in this springtime, where it's like kind of warm, kind of cold, or it's warmer in the day, gets colder at night, was so perfect, especially because I have a shorter torso. So the crop length stuff really looks great on me. It was super, super cute. So thank you again, True Religion, for hooking me up with that and Kid Fury. I know they sent you a few things too, didn't they?

[Kid Fury]

They sure did. First of all, for men, it's all about statement pieces with true religion with personality. Because that's exactly what I want out of my style. Personally, as a butch queen, I want to be giving Runway. I want to be giving tunnel walk with trade. I want to be giving influenced fit. And so I'm really excited about what they sent me as well. Personally, my favorite thing that I was able to get was this baggie nylon overall in black. And I got like a nice oversized tee to go with that. It's giving me west coast. It's giving me Kid Fury. Makes you jump, jump. I also got a lovely charm bracelet because again, butched queen giving you a little, little femininity on the edge of it. I truly love all the styles that I was able to receive. And now that the spring and summertime is coming up and my alter ego is turning 20, I plan to be outside shaking my chest and showing off these fits.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I can't wait. I got a twill cargo jumpsuit that I'm wearing to the very first day of the WNBA season. Shout out to the WNBA season. It's actually happening. Um, so I cannot wait to pull out that jumpsuit and stunt on everybody at Barclays Center. You can get the same thing by heading on over to True Religion, checking out that spring collection, Finding something that works for you. Dress for the life you want. Shop our favorites by searching the read on True religion dot com. Let them know we sent you, girl, go get yourself something cute. Hey, y'.

[Kid Fury]

All.

[Crystal]

You know what really grinds my gears? The fact that everything these days feels like it costs so much more than it used to. And I do mean everything. Groceries, gas, all kinds of bills. It all adds up. And we've all felt that pressure of trying to make our money stretch a little further. I am being so much more careful with my spending. I actually have a budget that I am very strongly sticking to these days. I'm double and triple checking prices. I'm comparison shopping all that to try to spend as little as possible when the cost of everything is skyrocketing. So when your tax refund hits and you're thinking about what's the best way to keep more money in your pocket without giving something up, I have a real life hack for you. Switch to Metro and save with no activation FEES and get one line of 5G for only $25. Yes, only $25 and no contracts that get in the way. But the best part is that you can keep the phone you love and keep your number. That's a lot of ands. But that's exactly the point. More money in your pocket, better value. All at Metro T Mobile. So get that more for your money feeling Only a Metro. Visit your local store or Metro by t mobile.com and switch today. $30 first month, $25 after with auto pay

[Kid Fury]

we are back folks. I am a huge nerd and just got an email that said from Variety that says Stephen Colbert is making a Lord of the Rings movie with his son.

[Crystal]

What?

[Kid Fury]

At Warner Brothers?

[Crystal]

That's so many words.

[Kid Fury]

That feels so random. But apparently he's a huge, huge, huge fan of the books and movies, so.

[Crystal]

Okay, sure.

[Kid Fury]

Well, now that I got that white fact out of the way, let's talk about your letters.

[Crystal]

Indeed, send your questions to asktheread gmail.com we may read them aloud on the show. Our first letter this week comes from Ilmari, who says, Let me preface this email by saying, you guys are amazing and hilarious and I love y' all so much. Crystal, your laugh makes my heart smile and it warms my day. I think you're gorgeous and would love to slide in the DMs, but you probably would not want that after reading this email. Ha ha ha.

[Kid Fury]

13 years of lust. Like lust.

[Crystal]

And that is. It has been so fun for me. Truly.

[Kid Fury]

Me too, bruh.

[Crystal]

I have no idea what I'm doing out here in these streets. I'm a 36 year old. Not. Not like Ilmari.

[Kid Fury]

Okay?

[Crystal]

I'm a 36 year old stud. Or at least I thought I was. I'm currently struggling with my identity work. A few A few months ago I met this guy through the horrible algorithms that are Facebook dating. My settings were strictly female on female, but somehow a nigga got through and hit me up. See, not gonna lie. Old dude was decent looking and respectful with his approach. So I chatted with him for a bit, but I gave him a disclaimer That I was gay and only into women, and he was cool with it. I'm a huge gamer and anime nerd. So we started talking about games and anime. Eventually, he asked if I wanted to link up for lunch or something. Since it's hard to find gamers in our part of Virginia who like the same thing, I decided to soften my stud look. And at lunch, I was giving more stem or tomboy vibes. After lunch, we went to a vintage video game store, which was pretty amazing.

[Kid Fury]

Fire.

[Crystal]

And afterwards, it dawned on me that this was most definitely a date. My first date ever with a man. But it was chill, so I wasn't stressing. Fast forward a couple of weeks. He invited me over to play B Blades, Talking about his bee blades.

[Kid Fury]

That is so funny. That is deep nerd. I wouldn't even play that.

[Crystal]

He wanted to show me how he let it rip, which is a beyblade saying.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, Beyblades are like these toys. Maybe you saw them. They're older, but they were like a top that you would stick, like, a thing in, and then you pull it, and it would spin. Spin.

[Crystal]

Oh, that's what those are called. The way I thought that, y', all.

[Kid Fury]

And then let it rip.

[Crystal]

I thought it was a dreidel. Was like, I didn't know which I was playing with,

[Kid Fury]

bitch.

[Crystal]

Bye.

[Kid Fury]

Let it rip is pulling the thing out. Yeah. Wow.

[Crystal]

In my spirit, I knew shit was about to go down, but I was curious, so I'm like, fuck it. I'll go over there with my be blades and my switch, and it'll be

[Kid Fury]

cool that that is the one time B E Y is bae.

[Crystal]

Oh, okay.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, I just realized that I keep

[Crystal]

calling it B blade because I'm like Beyonce.

[Kid Fury]

Of course you're saying bee blade because that's what it says.

[Crystal]

Beyonce blade.

[Kid Fury]

I'm sorry.

[Crystal]

Okay, my bad.

[Kid Fury]

Continue, nigga.

[Crystal]

I got Kehlani folded, my boy. I mean, folded my locks, pulled, choked. I mean, the same shit I be doing to other women. All that.

[Kid Fury]

Wait, what?

[Crystal]

Yeah, and that's not all. I went back five, and I went back five separate times, and now I'm just like, who the fuck am I?

[Kid Fury]

Maybe bisexual.

[Crystal]

Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to embrace this newfound bisexuality, But I'm assuming I can't call myself a stud no more. Huh? After years of struggling with who I am growing up in a Southern black Christian household, part of me feels like I did this subconsciously to please my family. And another part of me just thinks, fuck it, I'm Grown, I'm bi. Let's move on. I probably wouldn't care so much if I didn't go through years of self harm, severe depression, attempts on my own life, and lots of therapy to accept my lesbian identity just to now get with a dude. It's a lot to unpack. And I also find it pretty comical that I'm struggling with these things at age 36. How can I navigate this? Much love, Ilmarine.

[Kid Fury]

Ilmari, my good sis of the community. Well, here I would say, first of all, I wouldn't consider this. You subconsciously trying to please your parents. Like, you saw a nigga, you thought he was attractive. Here we are. You know what I mean? It happens. I would speak about this in therapy, not because of what has happened, but be more for how you are thinking it, the way that you're analyzing it, and just how you feel. Because I could tell you just from my observation and experience, there are people who have this sort of experience, or awakening, whatever you want to call it, 20 years older than you, and it's completely fine. And I don't think it has to. I don't think it has to impact the way that you label yourself. I know a lot of people will be saying, like, oh, I don't believe in labels. And sometimes that is obnoxious. But you are, in a sense. You know what I mean?

[Crystal]

Yes. Like, don't put me in a box. Like, okay, girl.

[Kid Fury]

Okay.

[Crystal]

So, okay. I mean, that's your right.

[Kid Fury]

When trade says that, I'm like, all right, honey, like, you got it. Are we doing this or not?

[Crystal]

We're not trying to acknowledge who we are. Okay, got you.

[Kid Fury]

Right, okay. Cause you finna leave and tell us, right?

[Crystal]

Right. You're gonna pretend this didn't happen, so. All right.

[Kid Fury]

I would say that as you're, you know, having whatever this moment is with this gentleman, don't be like, am I a stud now? Am I not a stud? You having a good time? I mean, you said you have softened up your look for this person. And I would say, I don't know what the term is for that anymore, but there are girls of the culture who aren't giving you a Caesar and distressed baggy jeans and ones, you know what I mean? There are some that might wear like the sports bra, but with maybe a legging.

[Crystal]

They absolutely. Tennis gotta be just a little something.

[Kid Fury]

Maybe a medium coverage foundation, maybe a gloss lip. Ultimately, though, I don't think it has to be like this whole thing, especially with like, being a lesbian or like a gay guy. I think many, if not most of us have phases in our aesthetic or approach. Like, and it's completely okay. Like, it doesn't have to be something where you're thinking, who am I? It's not something that you have to accept as your forever. You can have a moment where you fucking on this one nigga that you're really attracted to, and then that goes wherever it goes, and you're like, I had a good time.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And then you go back to strictly girls. It could be a thing where it's just like, I think I'm bisexual. Either way, I think you just need to give yourself a little bit of grace. Don't let these decisions, like, set up deep roots in you and your identity. Do talk about it with a therapist so they can professionally lay out some thoughts and paths for you. And other than that, get that dick, honey. As long as he's treating you well and y' all are having fun and your little, you know, in between isms, you're letting it rip, and then you're getting ripped. You're letting it rip, and you let him rip.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

All right.

[Crystal]

I agree. I think maybe because stud has such a specific definition, I can see why you're struggling. But also, just because you sleep with a man doesn't mean you aren't gay. The girls with kids love to say that. So, girl, it could be. I think we. We can sometimes struggle with this because we don't really want to acknowledge how much of sexuality is a spectrum and how many people are not exclusively one or the other, but, like, yeah, under certain. I know too many gay niggas who are like, under the right circumstances, a pair of titties might. Could get me, like,

[Kid Fury]

literally, it's too many.

[Crystal]

It's too.

[Kid Fury]

Or.

[Crystal]

Or they be like, the right stud. You can go on and bring that backpack, girl. Bring that backpack over, honey.

[Kid Fury]

Can I tell you how many gay niggas that I, like, I've been friends with or known, been like, girl, I just got back from Brazil. I got a crazy story to tell you.

[Crystal]

I looked up and it was a woman there, and I wasn't mad. And she just joined, right?

[Kid Fury]

And I've never gone.

[Crystal]

And she just joined right in Noah's

[Kid Fury]

Ark season one, it's giving. Like, I've never respond to that. Like, oh, so you're bisexual? I was like, oh, my girl, look at you trying new things. Dyke.

[Crystal]

Sometimes you're just having experience. Y' all linked on a. On a real level. Like, you're really into games and anime. This Nigga is too. He was not ugly. That helps. Seems like he was nice.

[Kid Fury]

Went to a vintage game store.

[Crystal]

Like, yeah, I might have. I might have developed a crush on him, too. And you even said when he invited you over to play Beyonce Blaze that you was like, I know what's gonna happen.

[Kid Fury]

I will not call them anything but Beyonce Bly.

[Crystal]

I can't believe it's not be blades. Like, it's really beyblades.

[Kid Fury]

It is. And I did not. It is not. There is no excuse for that, because most of you bitches do not know what a bee blade is. Furthermore, her name is pronounced Beyonce. She says B all the time. Her mama does, her sister does, her friends and family, her husband does. You bitches are out of line. Call the Blade bae. Fuck wrong with you bitches. And it still looks like B. Yeah, it continue. It does.

[Crystal]

I. I will.

[Kid Fury]

Anyway, Beyonce play.

[Crystal]

This is what it looks like to me. I'm like, the fuck are y' all talking about? But yeah. And the fact that you have gone through so much to get to this place of accepting yourself, it also sounds. That's like, of partly tied into your masculine identity. Because, yeah, you're like, not only am I gay, I'm not like, the feminine can hide it. Everybody can pretend that I'm not gay. I'm like, the. Here she come in these timbs. Like, God damn it, your grandma. Like, why don't you put a dress off of Easter for granny? Won't you? Won't you put it. See, it looks so pretty like you. You one of them. So it can be more complicated for masculine presenting women in that regard. So I see. See how this is kind of with you. But so I agree talking to a therapist is really going to be useful here. But also, sexuality just is what it is. Yeah. You can just be having this experience with this man, and then maybe you go back to women. Maybe you are bi. You don't have to. You don't have to decide right now. You can just enjoy yourself and ride the swing.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, you did mean to. I can tell that you did not mean to.

[Crystal]

And enjoy this time in your life. Enjoy this young man. Who knows? I just wouldn't tell my family. Cause they gonna get they hopes way up, girl. And that's gonna piss me off. True. That's gonna piss me off.

[Kid Fury]

True. I don't even know if I would tell a cousin, bitch.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I'm not telling.

[Kid Fury]

Like, no, that is true. Yeah. Now if some time goes on, some therapy, some reflecting, and it's like, oh, I'm fully bisexual.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Maybe then you can have a conversation.

[Crystal]

I don't.

[Kid Fury]

I still don't think I would tell my friends.

[Crystal]

I wouldn't tell them unless I was getting engaged to a man. I would not tell them unless I was fully about to marry a man.

[Kid Fury]

That is absolutely correct.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

But either whatever place you land at, fully gay, bisexual, pansexual, none of them are wrong. All of them are completely valid and okay. But I think you're right, Kristin, that, like, you spending all that time to get to this place and be firm in this identity has a lot to do with this confliction now.

[Crystal]

Right. But I do believe that you can get through this. Just, you know, you don't have to. This doesn't have to be some big un coming out either. You could just talk to him about it. Talk to this man. Be like, it's very crazy to me that I was a whole honking dyke and now I'm over here getting flipped and folded over by you. Like, this is kind of fucking with my mind a little bit.

[Kid Fury]

Locks pulled.

[Crystal]

Woo woo.

[Kid Fury]

She say he fucking me like I fuck the girl.

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah. It's also not uncommon to be struggling with questions about sexuality at age 36. A lot of people find that their sexuality shifts or they discover things about themselves that weren't there before or a combination of those things like, that's just not unusual. And the most important thing is that you're not judging yourself or beating yourself up for these feelings. But you know, you're. You're just having a human experience, babe. It is what it is. And

[Kid Fury]

because, girl, if I can just tack on an example real quick, I cannot when the girls be like a nigga who is a top, top, top, top, top, top, top. 90, 99% of the time goes ahead and takes some dick because he like this or his FA whatever, and just tries it out. Oh, so you're a bottom. Oh, so you're a verse bottom?

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

What, he can't just have some fun?

[Crystal]

And we can be strict sometimes. The. The gays can be very strict about, you know, the roles that we think a person plays. And if you step outside of what we think you should do, then you're not really this. And I just think it's important to shut out the noise when it comes to how you feel about yourself. Like, right. Don't let the online discourse and, you know, the femmes on Tik Tok talking about these D. But don't, don't. You are just one person having your own unique experience and you're not hurting nobody, you're not lying to nobody.

[Kid Fury]

Right?

[Crystal]

So there you're not doing anything wrong in that regard.

[Kid Fury]

Not having unconsensual sex.

[Crystal]

Right, right, right. You're grown. You can do this if you want to. So.

[Kid Fury]

Right?

[Crystal]

Best of luck, baby. Our next letter comes Speaking of gay niggas comes from Mateo who says Dear Kid, Fury and Crystal.

[Kid Fury]

That's a good name.

[Crystal]

Thank you. I picked it out for him.

[Kid Fury]

Yep.

[Crystal]

I'm a 31 year old black educator who's having a bit of relationship of a relationship issue right now. I'm in a five year relationship with another black man who is older than me by 17 years. Emotionally, intellectually and financially we are solid. But the bedroom component has been falling short. When we first committed to each other, we had extensive communication about sexual boundaries. One of his was that penetration is off the table. I had an internal conversation with myself and included and concluded that sex doesn't always have to be literal intercourse. In the first couple of months, we had it multiple times a day. I'm talking before work, after work and in the shower and before bed. But somewhere around. But somewhere around month three, sex completely stopped. Now mind you, they've been together for five years.

[Kid Fury]

Right?

[Crystal]

Don't get me wrong. I understand that relationships with anyone is full of ups and downs and life will continue to life. But this complete stop in sexual activity makes me feel like he's not attracted anymore. That's due to past trauma in relationships where guys would start to pull back sexually because they were done emotionally or already sleeping with somebody else girl. Over the past three years, I've had four hard conversations with him about my need and desire for sex from my partner. I've told him about my experiences and how the lack of sex makes me feel. We do have these conversations and in the moment it seems like he gets it. But then we get thrown back into the regular swing of work, bills, dinner and going to bed. Yes, he does all the cutesy things in relationships like kisses just because and washing my car and filling the gas tank. But I need some type of romantic touch from him. He's my best friend. That's a big one. That's a big one.

[Kid Fury]

Huge.

[Crystal]

He's my best friend and I love him with everything in me. But sometimes the lack of sex makes me feel like he's not attracted to me anymore. Should I continue to bring this up to him in the hopes that he finally understands me? If you were in my shoes, how would you approach this conflict? Is sex a necessity in Your romantic relationships, and if so, how frequently. Thanks, Matteo. So, first of all, Savannah, slow down.

[Kid Fury]

Right?

[Crystal]

You do not need to know how frequently I require sex in my romantic relationship. That's a little bit outside your business, right? That is a little bit outside your business. But I will say I'm not asexual. So, yes, sex is a necessity in my. And honestly, it has never even come up. The idea that we might not have sex has never.

[Kid Fury]

I've never had that conversation with anybody

[Crystal]

that it has never come up.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, I haven't been before breakfast, after breakfast, during the shower, before work, on the way back from work.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

Like, I haven't done that. You know what I mean? But five years of being with somebody to fill up the gas tank and wash the car and you take the trash out and y' all sit together and watch the news and blase, blah, blah, blah, and no sex.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Is odd to me. I feel like even couples that. Not super getting along or not on the same page in a household still fuck. Like, the girls don't even. You know what I'm saying?

[Crystal]

At least once a month.

[Kid Fury]

I'm saying, like, the girl. It's like when the girls get to a certain age, maybe, you know, 20 years married now, they in 50s and 60s, and be like, girl, don't even look over here. Like, maybe. And. And that's some of them, Right?

[Crystal]

Some.

[Kid Fury]

I just. I don't know, Crystal. I feel like Mateo, I would not have a fifth conversation with this nigga about this.

[Crystal]

No. I think y' all are just on two different pages. Sexually, sexual.

[Kid Fury]

What is there to be done?

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

You with this person for five years, you say he's your best friend, you're crazy in love with him. Doesn't sound like he's not in love with you, but it makes me think of what you brought up. Pulling away emotionally, not saying anything, or fucking somebody else.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

No sex.

[Crystal]

Well, it sounds like he is not a very sexual person because, I mean, I don't know what his reason is behind the no penetration thing. I don't know if that means no penetration can happen or if you can't penetrate him. I'm not sure.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

What exactly he means by that. But like he said, like Mateo said, there's lots of other things you can do, and y' all was doing that for a while, but that was only three months in. And you're. You've been together five years. So y' all have not fucked in over four years. I.

[Kid Fury]

So you have a roommate?

[Crystal]

Well, not necessarily. It Would be different if. Cause y' all are clearly in a romantic relationship. Kisses. And he's spending $90 to fill up your gas tank. That's, you know, that's. That means something. But you want more than that. And he doesn't want to give that. And I think that's really what it comes down to. I don't want you to do anything sexually that you're not comfortable with. But I am a sexual being and I want. Right.

[Kid Fury]

So, yeah.

[Crystal]

The only conversation I would be, are you willing to open this up to where I can sleep with other people?

[Kid Fury]

I was thinking about that too. Yep.

[Crystal]

That would be the only conversation I would have. And if he's not, which is understandable, then I would say thank you for the past five years. Although I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know how I feel about a 26 year old and a 43 year old getting together. That don't sit right in my spirit, but.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, that's right. I didn't even consider the time.

[Crystal]

Cause y' all got together when you were 26, you're 31 now. And he's. I'm guessing like 48, so.

[Kid Fury]

48.

[Crystal]

Right. But if he's not willing to open this up sexually, and you might not even be willing to fuck other people, you might be like, I just want to fuck my man.

[Kid Fury]

I want to fuck him.

[Crystal]

Right. Or. Or, you know, or go back to sword fighting or whatever y' all were doing before. That was so fun that. And then he just stopped. If you're not. If we can't get back to at least that place, then we are. Sometimes we are just incompatible. And we keep trying to force something to work with somebody because you want it to work and because all these other things are great. And maybe I'm not gonna find nobody else who just fills up the Honda Civic and don't ask no questions.

[Kid Fury]

Yep. And washes the.

[Crystal]

And washes the car and little kisses and hugs and stuff. Like all of that is so nice. I don't wanna give that up and have to go back out there and try to find somebody else. But you're not fulfilled. And you don't deserve to live a half life because of fear of the unknown, Fear of going back out there, Fear of being alone. Like you deserve to get everything you need out of a romantic connection. So it really sounds like this one is going to boil down to incompatibility to me.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

So that's how I would do it. Yeah. If we can't figure Something out then unfortunately, we're going to have to part ways. And I'm wishing you the best, but this is, this relationship is not what I need.

[Kid Fury]

Cause I'm talking about like, okay, we've been doing whatever for three months. You probably have like another six to seven months before we start arguing. Like, I am going to be yelling like, I'm just not because. Huh. So you've been with this nigga for a five years, right? I honestly didn't consider it at first because I'm like, okay, so they've been dating five years. He's 31, he 48. All right, that's a gap. But you in your 30s, right? Yeah. I think you should go ahead and just, you know, do exactly what Crystal said. Clasp your hands and be like, well, this was really fun.

[Crystal]

I had a good time, I can't lie.

[Kid Fury]

But yeah, I'm gonna wish you well on my way out.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Um, good luck, babe. Hope it works out. Our last letter comes from Amethyst, who says, hi. Chrislyn Kiffe. Two years ago, I met my boyfriend Andre through mutual friends who set us up. He was confident, grounded, funny, and very into me, just like I was into him. And I loved it. We instantly connected on our core beliefs as well as both of us not wanting kids. Growing up, I was the late bloomer, funny friend who was never getting approached by guys. They liked my personality and my humor, but not enough to date me. And I embraced it in an effort to cover up my low self esteem with some therapy and work on myself. Right before I met Andre, it was easy to let my guard down and in the relationship, I began to feel for the first time, safe, affirmed and chosen. Over the past 18 months, I've gone through what feels like a full on life transformation. I decided to put in the work and I've been really consistent in the gym and feel the most confident I ever have in my life. I walk into rooms differently, dress differently, and overall show up differently. Meanwhile, Andre is having his own character arc and has been dealing with rapid hair loss, which hit him hard, some weight gain and losing a job he loved. His confidence has taken a noticeable dive. The man who used to hype me up is now quieter, more distant, and just not up for the fun we used to have. I'm still very much attracted to him, but this is the first time in my life that I'm getting so much attention and compliments and flirting, especially at the gym, the kind of energy I never experienced before. I don't entertain anything that crosses the line or that disrespects Andre, but I notice it, and I'd be lying if I said it doesn't feel validating. At the same time, I feel guilty because I'm the one who changed physically and mentally for what I think is the better. But I'm not quite sure if he sees it that way. I want to come home and share my wins, but instead of it being a celebration, it sometimes feels like I'm unintentionally poking at him. He's shown me that he's happy for me, but he also says things like, once I get up to speed with this job, I'm a join the gym too, which makes me feel like I'm putting pressure on him. He is overall a great partner. I try to validate and compliment him, but we are bringing in two new versions of ourselves together, and right now, they feel like strangers. How do you grow in a relationship without outgrowing your partner? Is it possible to support someone through their insecurity without dimming your own light? And how do I talk to him about the shift I'm feeling without making him feel worse? Help, please. Love you both and hope to see you in Atlanta. Amethyst. Woot, woot.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, Amethyst, this one is a bit of a bummer, except for the fact that you're a Babbage. Yeah, I hear you. On wanting to at the very least feel solid and feel not even celebrated, but just feel like a sense of warmth and support in all of what is going on for you. At the same time, you love this nigga and whatnot. You realize his circumstances suck. He didn't just lose his job. He loved the job. And he's probably gained some depression, weight, stress changes this, that, and the third. And the little stuff he's saying just is like a bummer. But you have to be able to do what you said in terms of having a conversation with him about what you're feeling. I think I would determine a lot if not having further questions, if bringing this up to him went into a defensive place for him or an argumentative place for him if he does pretty much anything but go, I hear you. You know what I mean? I'll consider. I'll try to do better by this full stop. Then I think that you're probably gonna have to. I wouldn't even say immediately break up, but I feel like he would have to talk to somebody. You guys maybe need to talk to somebody together, but I think he fully needs to talk to someone. Not even just for him to go Back to being warm with you and lifting you up and stuff like that, but so that he can feel okay and know that he will be okay and that his home is a safe space and not this huge billboard of how much of a flop he is.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

But again, the nigga would have to wanna go. So I think you have some conversation and questions that are gonna need to come up. Cause you let him in. I know you feel for the brother, but, hey, look, you can't be in your own house and feel like, oh, I have to dim my bad bitch light, because this nigga is making me feel some type of way. Not even just, I feel bad for him, but he's getting up in the morning, cooking eggs, and, like, you know, I'm gonna seize the day as best I can. Even with a thinning hairline and some weight gain. It's the attitude and the energy shift that is the thing. And you feeling compelled to be like, okay, let me just not feel good and walk around with my titties shaking. That's not. That's not the tea.

[Crystal]

So, yeah, I think that vibe is gonna be really the key here because based off what you've said, he says it doesn't sound like he. Like, I'm not automatically hearing that he, you know, is. Is bringing the mood down or, like, is trying to even bring the mood down. Like, it's like you said, you feel like you're unintentionally poking at him. You're unintentionally putting pressure on him. That could just be your perception because you have been, you know, in a bigger body. You have felt not so good about yourself. And so now that you're on the other side of that, you're like, oh, maybe that's how he's feeling too. And so he's saying, you know, once I get my shit together with the job, I'mma also go to the gym. It could be that, you know, you feel like you're putting pressure on him. It could also be that he sees what you're doing and he feels motivated. Like, yeah, I want to go to the gym, too. Like, I want to keep up with you. Like, I'm not trying to stop you. He's not trying to stop you from going to the gym. He's saying, I want to get on your level. So it could. Some of this could be your own feelings about your body and the fact that you weren't really validated by men or outside sources until you lost weight. That's coming in and. And. And making a real Making itself known here because it's. It's. It's the sort of thing that we try to discourage in people. Like, oh, don't get your validation from others, because that's fickle and fake and blah, blah, blah at the same time. It does feel good, and that's why it is. That's why it's so alluring. But as you can see, it's very much dependent on whether you're fitting societal standards of what is beautiful or what is attractive. Like, when you are in that larger body or, you know, you're this nerd and the hot guys never liked you before or whatever it may be, you're seeing now that it is very much dependent on looks and. And not much else. Like, you be in the gym getting it in, which is great. It sounds like you feel better about yourself. You're stronger. Like, these are all great things. I just don't necessarily think it means that he, you know, is feeling like, oh, here she go, rubbing it in my face. Like, you would only know the answer to that because it's going to depend on, like, vibe and attitude, like Kid Fury said. So that's kind of where I'm split on it. It really just depends on how he's acting. But as far as growing in a relationship without outgrowing your partner, I don't think that should even be a goal. I don't even think that should be something that is taken into consideration. You want to grow in a relationship the same way you want to grow without one. And hopefully your partner can either match your growth or support it one or the other. But 100%, I don't think you need to be worried about, oh, I don't want to outgrow my man, or, you know, how do I talk to him about how I'm feeling without making him feel worse. That's another thing where it's like, I'm not going to try to have this conversation with the goal being that you don't feel worse because you might feel worse regardless. So I'm gonna try to have this conversation with love and care and respect and gentleness because you matter to me. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna use those words. I'm gonna have that tone of voice to communicate that. But if I'm talking to you about how I feel and then you feel bad, but I'm doing it in a respectful and kind way, sometimes people just feel bad, and that's a byproduct of having to have a hard conversation. It doesn't necessarily make you wrong for that. So it's definitely possible to support someone through their insecurity without feeling like you're dimming your own light. But again, that. That depends so much on, you know, like, is he. You said he's shown that he's happy for you. Like, he is not saying, you know, like, damn, put up them short skirts and them crop tops.

[Kid Fury]

Like, where you going in those midriff?

[Crystal]

Yeah, he not getting all controlling and trying to tag along for girls nights or whatever. Like, it sounds like he's happy for you. He's just struggling himself. And so you said you're still attracted to him. You are trying to validate him, compliment him and all that. That's great. I think you just kind of have to let it, Give it time and support him in whatever way you feel comfortable with. Like, he wants to get back in the gym. Y' all setting that up to where maybe you can go together or whatever. I don't know. Like, that sort of thing is fine. But as long as you don't feel like. Like Kip Fury said, you don't feel like you have to come in and like, oh, well, you know, I did hit a new PR at the gym today. I, you know, I squat 300 pounds or whatever. And I can't even tell this nigga. Cause he gonna be jealous and all that. Like, it's a difference between how he's going to react versus how I think I'm making you feel.

[Kid Fury]

Right? So, like, if you see the nigga crying in the shower someday, you catch him and you may, like, all right, Chit chat.

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah, let's have a conversation. But I think this is something that you all can probably work through. And you said she put in, like, parentheses that he has a new job now where he's making even more money than he did at the last one. So.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, word.

[Crystal]

A little. A few more months at that, his confidence might start to grow again. Y', all. You know, y' all running at the track and hitting on bitches together at the club and whatever else. Like, y', all, it could be that he's, you know, right back there. But men going through that era of life where it's like, oh, I'm not young no more. That can really hit them hard sometimes. That can really hit them hard sometimes.

[Kid Fury]

It's like the River Styx. It's like, they are, like, dying bitches. But, yeah, yeah.

[Crystal]

All of a sudden, you can't drink like you used to.

[Kid Fury]

Yes. Oh, my God, is that my knee? Oh, it's Gonna rain tomorrow.

[Crystal]

You're like, oh, no, my knee is tight. Somebody give me some aspirin. Like, oh, Jesus.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, I'm old. I'm not doing a shot. No.

[Crystal]

Oh, no.

[Kid Fury]

Because I have to pick up tomorrow and I.

[Crystal]

Listen, you want to go to the. You want to go to this show that starts at 10:30pm on a Tuesday. Unfortunately, Meemaw will not be able to make it.

[Kid Fury]

Girl. And then they hit you with this. Let's go to the after hours. The hours are already the after. We're after the hours. The club does after hours.

[Crystal]

What do you mean? It's 10pm I'm supposed to be in the bed with my dog. It's Tuesday. You acting like it's Saturday. This is. I'm too elderly for this girl, right?

[Kid Fury]

I'll hit a little after hours function. Maybe on a good Friday, Saturday, if I have anything.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Oh, I'll go out on the weekend for sure. But bitch, a fucking Wednesday. I'm not. There's too much left. You ain't got work. I'm not doing that.

[Kid Fury]

You don't have nothing to do even no, girl, I want to get up on time.

[Crystal]

You want me to go to something and level headed? No, it starts at 10:30pm Unfortunately, I'll have to catch you at the next one. Ah, but good luck, Amethyst. Let us know how the conversation goes. We're going to wrap up the letters right there. Again, if you have a question for us, send us an email. Asktheread gmail.com. we're going to take a quick break and be right back.

[Kid Fury]

Critics and audiences agree. Only three letters describe they will kill you. Wtf? Splendid USA Today calls it bloody nature bunkers.

[Crystal]

Are you ready to die?

[Kid Fury]

IGN declares it's electrifying action, cinema and popcorn entertainment to the max.

[Crystal]

How many of you are there?

[Kid Fury]

It begs to be seen in a packed theater. Please remember to clean up the blood. Wow. They will kill you. Now playing only in theaters. Rated R under 17. Not admitted without parent.

[Crystal]

All right, ladies. When you've done the work, you want

[Kid Fury]

your hydration to do the same.

[Crystal]

Introducing new Gatorade. Lower sugar now with no artificial flavors, sweeteners or colors and 75% less sugar and all the electrolytes of regular Gatorade now available nationwide.

[Kid Fury]

Folks, we're back. It's time for the read. I will start because I really want to try to just get this out because I'm disgusted. Uh oh, Tommy Lee, or whatever the fuck your name is, you weird freaky ass bitch. I don't know what the fuck your 41 year old things that you're doing besides sex, chasing, trying to get a piggyback ride and make out and go on dates and shit with a 21 year old boy. You are 20 years older than this boy on his back walking down the boulevard talking about he bae and say he's so fine. His response is can't be that fine with somebody on my back. Bitch, you are weird.

[Crystal]

What?

[Kid Fury]

Making out with this boy. And now because the whole Internet has rightfully dragged your weird ass, now you try to talk about some. Oh I'm sorry, I'm not that type of girl. Bitch, you the girl that we saw in the video.

[Crystal]

What you mean

[Kid Fury]

you're the girl that we saw in the video. The difference between then and now is that you got that call and they say, bitch, we will bury you like what? I don't know what the fuck you think you doing over here, ho. But we will end it not just here but over there too. Bitch, play a game. I always knew that you were a worthless idiot from the first time that I was introduced to you. But now I'm just like really confused as to why you are still discussed why people still bring you up. You have been an absolute drunk ass loser for the entirety of your open career on television and where else? You have nothing to offer anybody in the streets besides that mangled pussy you like. What are we talking about? What are you talking about? You're not smart, you're not well spoken, I'm sure you can't read or write. You have no fashion sense. You have nothing but like one television show, streaming show that's interested in you. And every time you go over there you act like a wasted base head pulling out BB guns, shooting people, sending motherfuckers to jump somebody because you scared to fight yourself because you can't. You can barely stand up when you go places. And I'm tired of you trying to do this whole fake gangster shit like somebody's supposed to be afraid of you. Ho, you soft. You soft and you're a sack chasing sex pest weird ass bitch. Because you could go and do that shit with somebody who's at least five, six, seven years younger than you. Even 10. I wouldn't even be thinking it's too weird if it was a 31 year old nigga. That young man's brain is still developing and I'm sure you knew that and you were attempting to coerce his ass into giving you a baby. You weird ass bitch. You weird ass clout chasing Nasty ass, worthless, losing bitch. You are not good at anything. You are not good at anything besides having a half decent face. You are not entertaining in any way. Your music is trash. You can't stand upright. You're not good at shit besides being a hot mess. And I halfway blame a lot of you bitches who claim to be entertained by this shit so much that you want to keep seeing her on things similar to how you have begged and pleaded Andy Cohen's white gay ass to have Phaedra Parks back on Bravo. As if that weird bitch was weird. Freaky bitch didn't accuse somebody of attempted rape. Not because she thought it was actually happening, not because she was told it was actually happening, but because she, she just ain't like the bitch anymore and she didn't even have the ball. She knew what she was doing and that it was so bad that instead of saying it herself, she said the dumbest bitch she knew to go and say it and be a mouthpiece for her. And Duck wrecked the whole season until that same dumb mouthpiece snitched by accident, attempted to ruin this person's life because she didn't like her and accused her of rape instead of just being like, oh, tax fraud, oh, her husband gay or whatever other dumb ass shit that people be saying on Housewives and you're like, oh, well, she was really fierce on Traders. Why don't we put her back on tv? Y' all hoes dumb. And I don't feel bad for you or any. Like, I, I truly don't. I don't know why you can't just watch the Parker's reruns or Sister Sister or some shit. If you want to be black entertained, you have to have fucking drug addicts and alcoholics come all here and feel like they're important enough to be around a child in that manner. Bitch. I don't even know when the last time I've been around a 20 year old to my knowledge, besides when I was at my mama house for Christmas. Yeah, and even then I told you most of that night I was sitting in a room by myself playing the switch and one of them came in and was like, oh, you're shy. Cool. Get it, bitch. We saw you kissing this boy in the mouth, you dumbass late ass hoe.

[Crystal]

I don't even understand how you attracted to somebody that young. Like you're so old. Why do you.

[Kid Fury]

Because you want a check. And you know that young men are incredibly impressionable and easy to manipulate because you have old bitch twat. Yeah, you trying to do like Dre or whatever the fuck her name is who just did that.

[Crystal]

Literally I was about to say this sound like Draya and that boy that's younger than her son.

[Kid Fury]

I'mma treat you just like I would treat a 41 year old man out here kissing on and calling a 20 year old girl Bae bitch, you're nasty and you suck. You suck at everything but having a cute face when it's got makeup on it. Your music sucks, your brain sucks. The way you walk sucks. Your fucking drug and alcohol riddled brain and liver. Everything about you sucks, bitch. And I can't wait till I never have to see your dumb ass again. I'm finished.

[Crystal]

I get, you know, we all want to be related to Beyonce. But not like this. Not like this.

[Kid Fury]

Pretend like the rest of us. Crackhead. I'm so tired of this bitch. She doesn't even do anything fun or funny or engaging when she is around. All she does is slur, look cross eyed and break stuff. Girl, fuck you. Find somewhere. Oh yeah. I'm not that type of girl. You're exactly that type of girl. At best. You should have said I was so drunk. I don't remember. I thought it was El Debarge.

[Crystal]

Yeah,

[Kid Fury]

I'm tired. Like I'm tired of grown ass adults playing footsie with children.

[Crystal]

You have.

[Kid Fury]

If you want a sat chase, bitch, you are pretty. Get your hair done and go and find a nigga your age. You can. Niggas are dumb.

[Crystal]

Or even a 30 year old. You don't even have to find. That's what I'm saying. You can find just somebody grown. For real. Girl, what are you doing?

[Kid Fury]

You will absolutely find a nigga who will fuck you and give you a baby. Who got more money than you. Because most of them do. Y' all be so pressed and inspired by these hoes on TV and on Instagram. Cause they got a pretty face and you think they got money. Like they don't borrow they clothes. Let's move you. Cause I'm actually getting tired.

[Crystal]

Yeah, no, you're getting pissed. You're getting pissed.

[Kid Fury]

It's not even just that. It's jules.

[Crystal]

Yeah, any 21 year old, like what are you doing at your big massive age? Born in the 80s ass with a 21 year old girl. No, it's trifling. It's beyond trifling. It's.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, fuck you and everybody to know you.

[Crystal]

Yeah, well, this my read this week. Comes at the expense of Ulta Beauty, which is a national chain with over 1500 locations and I just cannot. I cannot believe this happened in New York City. You possibly could not have picked a worse city to do this. But so there is an Ulta on 86th Street. I've been there many, many times. Never to use their beauty services because that just would have never occurred to me.

[Kid Fury]

Why would you do that? I forgot that they do that.

[Crystal]

Yeah, they do have a beauty salon and a woman named Lauren Jack. Lauren Smith and her seven year old daughter who are professional models, they went to the 86th Street Ulta Beauty in Manhattan because they had scheduled hair appointments before a professional photo shoot. And the stylist who was a sound who was assigned to them, Jessica C. Declined to do their hair. She said that they don't do that kind of hair.

[Kid Fury]

You are kidding me.

[Crystal]

I am not lying. Now she also the. The mother, Lauren Smith, says that their hair was actually completely covered while they were having the exchange. So nobody ever actually inspected their hair. They just saw black people and said, oh, we don't do this. She asked to speak to a manager. The manager came over and said, yes, we not doing y' all hair. We're not comfortable doing that type or texture of hair. And y' all should have clarified when you made the appointment what kind of hair you had so that we could have, you know, I don't even know. We could have found somebody black to do it or found somebody who knows how to do black hair. Again, the. This is New York City, right? New York City is, I believe, the most diverse city in this country. There are millions and millions of people who live here. We also have strict laws about how you can treat other people. So this is in direct violation of New York State human rights law, which prohibits discrimination on traits historically associated with race, including hair texture. This also violates New York's cosmetology licensing laws, which require licensed hairstylists to be trained and competent to provide services to people of all hair types. New York City has specific laws that say niggas can go into any hair salon and expect to have their hair done because that's the service you offer. Especially a giant chain like ulta. Ulta on 86th street in Manhattan don't have nobody who could wash and style negro hair.

[Kid Fury]

That is wild.

[Crystal]

So they say, you know, this was a very loud confrontation that happened in front of other customers, causing severe humiliation, traumatic distress to the little girl who was crying and asking, what's wrong with my hair? And if they got brown girls in the pictures on the walls and how come we can't get our hair done? There. Which is an extremely good question, Ulta. Why is it niggas are good enough to use in your marketing and promotional materials, but when it comes to a location, a nice, a generous sized location, again, in the most diverse city in the country, how in the fuck is it that y' all don't have nobody? Who could have what? Done a blowout on this hair? Y' all don't have no. In New York City who could have.

[Kid Fury]

And you didn't even look at their

[Crystal]

hair and you didn't even inspect the hair. It wasn't like, oh, well, we looked at your hair and it's we, you know, you had scalp issues or whatever that we. You just automatically said, nope, I'm not comfortable doing that texture. Called the manager and the manager said, yeah, we don't have nobody here who's going to do y' all negro hair.

[Kid Fury]

You're go, and you should have clarified

[Crystal]

and you should have said that when you scheduled that you were black so that we wouldn't. I don't have to do that. This is New York.

[Kid Fury]

So do the white bitches who come to get their hair done that they go, oh, so yeah, I have white. I'm white.

[Crystal]

So my hair, I'm actually a ginger and it's kind of curly and wavy, so. No, because as a white woman, you can confidently walk into anywhere, including a black salon and assume that somebody can and will do your fucking hair. Of all the places y' all could have done, right? Because it seems like a slam dunk, extremely clear cut case. We have very explicitly laid out discriminatory policies that say you are not just

[Kid Fury]

waiting to hear how much they get.

[Crystal]

Like, at this point, just write the check, right?

[Kid Fury]

I don't even think, just settle, bitch. Cause like, it's time to just settle.

[Crystal]

What do you mean you're not comfortable?

[Kid Fury]

You were racist to me and my 7 year old in front of people. Matter of fact, just give me this location.

[Crystal]

This is illegal, right? I was like, so the altar finna do black hair from now on? I bet you they are.

[Kid Fury]

86th street in New York City.

[Crystal]

In New York City? Are you kidding? The fact that y' all didn't even know enough about the law here to say, is it possible it's illegal to turn black people away? Like Ulta, y' all are professional licensed cosmetologists and you didn't know that you could not turn away black people for being black?

[Kid Fury]

Did you know you don't have to pay taxes? That is crazy.

[Crystal]

I'm actually mad. I didn't Think of this first. I'm mad I didn't go to Ulta and be like, so who finna do my micro braids? Like, man, I didn't.

[Kid Fury]

Right? I'm mad at three houses.

[Crystal]

I'm mad I didn't book an appointment for, you know, a blowout or whatever and go in there just for the.

[Kid Fury]

Not even far.

[Crystal]

It's. It's.

[Kid Fury]

Again, that is so you throw a

[Crystal]

rock in this city and you gonna hit 10 different ethnicities, seven different nationalities, some genderqueer, some sexually fluid. Like, we have a little bit of every fucking body. We have laws.

[Kid Fury]

New York City's the greatest city.

[Crystal]

Like, we literally have it set up like that because there are so many different people here and nobody should be discriminated against because of how they look. I just cannot believe. And I'm seeing a lot of comments that are like, well, why would a nigga expect to go to Ulta anyway? That's not the point.

[Kid Fury]

Are you.

[Crystal]

That's not the point. Would I have ever done this? No. It would have never occurred to me to even assume that somebody at Ulta would do a good job on my hair. But they're supposed to. They are supposed to, but they're supposed to. And so if you live around 86th street and all the black stylists are booked up and you said, let me just get something for me and my child, Shirley. Ulta has shampoo and conditioner, wide tooth combs and blow dryers. Like, I know y' all didn't even go in there asking for a French roll and some finger waves. Like, I know you didn't. I know it was something basic. And they were just like, oh, no, we can't. Y' all don't have what? You don't have flat irons in here. You don't have curling irons. You don't have the same materials that you would use on anybody else's hair. You don't have a heat protectant beef. This is Ulta. Go grab one off the shelf. Like, okay. All right, well, time to write me a check. Time to write me a check

[Kid Fury]

and possibly shut this whole shit down.

[Crystal]

Me and my 7 year old will never have to worry about booking another modeling gig because cheese on our burgers for the rest of our lives. And this is our Ulta now.

[Kid Fury]

Like, oh, hi. This is my seven year old daughter. She's retired. She's a retired former model.

[Crystal]

And Ulta, I mean, Ulta's website talks about how they're all about being inclusive. And, you know, we stand for equality and acceptance. We. We want to create a space that's welcoming to all that. What happened at this location when these two people showed up to get their hair done is the exact opposite of that. And so, I mean, this. The store manager has to be fired. Has to be. I can't. Right? I mean, the stylist too. Because if you're not comfortable doing their type or texture of hair, you don't deserve the license that you have. It is the law in this city that you have, like, you have to, you have to. You cannot tell somebody, oh, I don't. I don't do your type of hair.

[Kid Fury]

And it would have been one thing to like, look at their hair and be like, nah, I'm not gonna hold you. You get your hair done in here, it's gonna be a mess like it is.

[Crystal]

Show me the reference to me. Cause I don't know.

[Kid Fury]

I have some like, referrals. I promise you, you're not gonna like the results in here. I could get the manager for you, but I promise then going, well, Beast, your black ass should have called in and clarified that you had your nigger hair and your daughters to come in here and get it done. That's insane, right?

[Crystal]

I would have said, you know, I'm gonna do my best. I can't say I have a lot of experience, but I am gonna do my best to make sure you two look and feel amazing right before you leave this salon today. And I mean, that's just because, like, I'm a good, nice person who doesn't want to hurt somebody's feelings based off who they fucking are. This is our hair as it grows out of our head.

[Kid Fury]

And it's the wide open honesty that. That mother and daughter could have been like, you know what? On second thought.

[Crystal]

Or we really have.

[Kid Fury]

I've been blaming it.

[Crystal]

We have a photo shoot. We really need to get this done. Do your best, you know, and I'll buy a curling iron on my way out. Give us some touch ups at the studio or something. Like, so.

[Kid Fury]

Cause like you said, ulta or not. They should have especially in right in 86th Street. They should insane not have had to assume. They shouldn't have been able to just walk in there because. And get their hair done.

[Crystal]

And again, that is the. You could have pulled this in it's most other cities and it wouldn't have been nothing. You could have pulled this in Oklahoma and it would have been fine. Because I'm sure we don't have. I'm sure we don't have this level of protection where it's like, baby Florida, stick to your.

[Kid Fury]

They would have caught a broom. They would have held a.

[Crystal]

Get.

[Kid Fury]

Get back.

[Crystal]

Get. You get.

[Kid Fury]

Go Now.

[Crystal]

Now. What you colors doing in here? Y' all know we don't do no colored hair.

[Kid Fury]

That is wild. So, yeah, Ulta should have literally been like, not only does this completely stand against everything that, you know, we hold dear, here is the time, date, and place that you get to stone them.

[Crystal]

Yeah. So just go on and write the check. Make it out to Lauren Smith or whatever that lady name is, because.

[Kid Fury]

And Baby Smith and.

[Crystal]

Right. Cause y' all have really, really fucked this up.

[Kid Fury]

Gosh, that baby gonna be riding them ATVs and shit through Brooklyn. She gonna be doing papa wheelies on the four wheelers.

[Crystal]

She gonna have her B blades in Ulta. Like.

[Kid Fury]

Yes. Her Beyonce blades. Just busting everything up.

[Crystal]

Let it rip. This my altar. Fuck you mean?

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, get out. College paid for worth.

[Crystal]

Well, well, well. I suggest y' all hire people who know the very basics of the law. I just. I'm really struggling with how y' all didn't think. God, you know, this feels illegal. It feels

[Kid Fury]

like, what?

[Crystal]

How did you. You really thought you could do that? You thought you could say, well, you should have. You should have marked the colored.

[Kid Fury]

That is a great point. Okay, so here we are, the biggest, most known beauty chains in the world, Right? And here you are in one of the most diverse places in the world, and you didn't think it was illegal to look around and be like, not you. How do you do black hair? That is crazy.

[Crystal]

Yeah, go on and cut the check, bitch.

[Kid Fury]

You have to.

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah, it's looking. It's not looking great for y'. All.

[Kid Fury]

That is so disgusting. In front of a baby, too.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Seven years old, crying. And again, the baby pointing out the excellent observation of how y' all got niggas on the walls, but I can't get my hair done.

[Kid Fury]

Look at the material.

[Crystal]

Y' all sell black makeup. You sell black hair care products. You sell all kinds of shit that black people can use. Again, you put us in the pictures and the videos and the commercials. Why?

[Kid Fury]

Well, that poor baby had the fucking. The geography, calculus music. Yeah.

[Crystal]

She was like, it's not making sense.

[Kid Fury]

I don't.

[Crystal]

I do not understand. You won't, baby. Because it don't make sense. But don't. You don't have to worry about that. You finna get.

[Kid Fury]

She gonna have to tell them, I need a break from cheese on this burger. You give me the Bacon, tomato, lettuce. Cause like.

[Crystal]

And your Bentley power wheel driving shit off. Yeah. Never working again. What do you mean?

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, Beyonce blade on the dash, y'.

[Crystal]

All. I. I bet y' all will tighten up next time, Ulta. I bet it'll be a company wide memo sent out saying there's not a

[Kid Fury]

single black person who works there.

[Crystal]

I mean.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, I'm not in the salon part, I guess.

[Crystal]

I mean, I feel like if I worked there, I would have just sat in the background like, oh, she finna sue the shit out of y'.

[Kid Fury]

All.

[Crystal]

I'm just gonna let. Wow. Just gonna let it happen.

[Kid Fury]

Girl. Girl.

[Crystal]

Anyway, gross. Yeah, Maybe check the law just once before you turn black people away from services at your store. Very illegal here in New York City.

[Kid Fury]

2026.

[Crystal]

And that is going to wrap up this week's episode of the Read. Check us out on social media at. This is the Read. Our website is. This is the read.com. we do have a few more tickets that have opened up for our live show in Atlanta on April 26, I believe. You can check the readlive.com for those excited. Can't wait to see you there. Hopefully this TSA shit is settled by then. Cause. Bitch. Anyway.

[Kid Fury]

Wait, what TSA shit?

[Crystal]

Are you kidding?

[Kid Fury]

I don't want to know. I'll Google it.

[Crystal]

TSA has only been partially funded because of this partial government shutdown. Because. Yeah, because the Republicans want to give ICE the power to snatch people out of their homes and deport them for no reason. And so TSA workers have been working without pay for the past month and.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, lovely.

[Crystal]

And it's getting very. Oh, they just deployed ICE out to the airports like, a couple of days ago. But TSA, PreCheck and Clear at Atlanta has been shut down, so everybody has to go through that gen pop line. People are talking about being in line for four, five, six, seven hours to just to get through tsa. I am not. I'm not. So y' all gotta. Y' all gotta clean that shit up before next month, baby.

[Kid Fury]

So I guess we just head back home right after the show.

[Crystal]

Okay. Just after the show. Right?

[Kid Fury]

Like.

[Crystal]

Yeah, no, Anyway. Anyway. That's a whole nother read. That's a whole nother read.

[Kid Fury]

Ew. Oh, my God.

[Crystal]

Yes. But we will be there. See y' all in Atlanta next month.

[Kid Fury]

Still so excited.

[Crystal]

Yeah, can't wait. You guys. Any other news or announcements from. Oh, I want to thank Scottie Beam for being on this week's episode of Crystal's Couch. Lord. We had time. I love Scotty. She's the best. Crystalscouch.com for all those details and links.

[Kid Fury]

I'll ask you after.

[Crystal]

Okay. Anything else from you before we head out?

[Kid Fury]

Yes. The new episode of Fierce Thoughts is out now. Your pod platforms and YouTube go give me a like and subscribe Shout out to Parka McKenna Posey for being on on the pod this week. You guys know I love sitcoms and bad bitches. And Parker is both.

[Crystal]

Wow.

[Kid Fury]

Wow. Sitcom icons.

[Crystal]

Really watched her grow up. Little Katie. Isn't it crazy?

[Kid Fury]

It is.

[Crystal]

It is crazy.

[Kid Fury]

Shoes of light. So, yeah, go check that out. Patreon.com Kiphery all things Atlanta. We're almost there. I can't wait to see you. I think that's it.

[Crystal]

All right, guys. Take care of yourselves. We'll see y' all next week. Bye.

[Kid Fury]

Bye. Critics and audiences agree. What the hell is this place? Only three letters describe they will kill you. Wtf? Splendid. USA Today calls it bloody and bunkers.

[Crystal]

Are you ready to die?

[Kid Fury]

IGN declares it's electrifying. Action, cinema and popcorn entertainment to the max.

[Crystal]

How many of you are there?

[Kid Fury]

It begs to be seen in a packed theater. Please remember to clean up the blood. Wow. They will kill you. Now playing only in theaters. Rated R. Under 17. Not admitted without parent.

[Crystal]

You do it. All right. So why not get all the electrolytes? Hydrate better than water with new Gatorade lower sugar. Now with no artificial flavors, sweeteners or colors. And 75% less sugar than regular Gatorade. New to the fridge. All the Gatorade electrolytes you love. Gatorade lowers sugar. Is it in you? Now available nationwide.