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Crystal
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Kid Fury
All of Oregon is our playground thanks to our incredible park system. That's why it's so cool that Oregon Lottery gameplay like video lottery or cash pop helps support tons of parks projects statewide like accessible trails at Silver Falls State park or upgrades to your favorite dog park in Newburgh. It's just one way a little lottery play from many Oregonians can add up to a lot of good the Oregon Lottery. Together we do good things. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only. Must be 18 or older to play. I send away. Welcome back friends AI and Aliens to this particular show where we do the thing. I'm starting with the man in the.
Crystal
Mirror and I am Dominique Malonga and this is the read. Thanks for coming back.
Kid Fury
It is. It is indeed. Why don't we begin with some black excellence? This I think it's still. Yeah, May.
Crystal
Mm. It is.
Kid Fury
We're gonna be in with Jamal Roberts. If you haven't heard, Jamal Roberts recently won a little competition known as American Idol.
Crystal
Oh, congrats.
Kid Fury
Jamal Roberts is the first black man to win American idol in over 20 earth years. The last black man to win American Idol was a brother named Reuben.
Crystal
Stuttered, I was about to ask if.
Kid Fury
It was him in 2003. Now, many of you may not remember that win because quite a few of you were not born. And those of you who were may not remember that when. Because white America refused to accept it and instead glorified a white gay man named Clay Ain. Not because he was the better singer, but because, well, he was white and obviously gay. Anyhow, Jamal Roberts, as a recent winner, will receive 125,000 United States dollars up front and an additional $100,000 following the completion of his debut album. He was last working as a PE Teacher from Mississippi. Crooked letter. Crooked letter. Humph. Humpback. He's 27 years old and now seems to have a blooming career ahead of him. I saw a clip of this a couple days ago because, you know, niggas are excited. Happy for him. Yeah, completely Forgot that American Idol still came on both. But I'm. I don't know anything right now. Like, I'm onto the.
Crystal
Well, they haven't.
Kid Fury
Everything.
Crystal
There hasn't been a legit star to come out of American Idol probably since Fantasia.
Kid Fury
So, I mean, it is.
Crystal
It's kind of like. I mean, I'm. I'm absolutely wishing better for this brother, but did well.
Kid Fury
Did well. Wasn't Carrie after. After Fantasia? No.
Crystal
Yes. So I was you. Right. So it was Fantasia, then Carrie, then Taylor Hicks, then Jordan Sparks. Okay, so Jordan Sparks is the last one I can name her. I'm looking at this list. God bless these people. I'm sure they're extremely talented. Not know these names.
Kid Fury
I was gonna say that one guy from that group, but he didn't win. That one guy from that rock band. I can't think of the name of right now.
Crystal
Oh, Adam Lambert.
Kid Fury
Yeah. No, no, no, not the gay guy. Nothing came with.
Crystal
Oh, oh, Justin Guarini. No, he lost to Kelly Clarkson.
Kid Fury
No, he's like, he was in a successful rock band and I feel like it may the band might be named after him or something. Oh, man.
Crystal
That's all I got. But Vice.
Kid Fury
No. Creepy. Oh, no.
Crystal
Well, I don't. I. I really don't know.
Kid Fury
But.
Crystal
I am wishing Daughtry.
Kid Fury
Chris Daughtry. Yeah.
Crystal
Oh, he wasn't even the runner up.
Kid Fury
Yeah, no, he lost. Lost.
Crystal
Okay. I thought you.
Kid Fury
But went on to like, go become huge.
Crystal
Yeah, yeah, no, definitely. So I'm, I'm wishing Fantasia, Daughtry. Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson. Levels of success. Jordan Sparks, for you, Jamal Roberts. Congratulations. Yeah.
Kid Fury
Also congrats to a little company known as Capital City. Mumbo Sauce.
Crystal
Oh, so good. Oh, my God. So good.
Kid Fury
A black owned saucy condiment company from the dmv. It is officially available in Costco stores around the DMV now.
Crystal
Oh, hey, man.
Kid Fury
Founder Arsha Jones says we're incredibly grateful to continue partnering with Costco locations in the D.C. metro area. Capital City was built to share the culture and flavor of DC with the world. Thank you to our DMV family for believing in us and to Costco for recognizing the excellence has roots and making space for it. I think it's one of the first one sauce like brands I tried because someone brought it to us at one of our live shows and from then I was like, oh, this will forever and always be delicious. And I think I just started buying them online.
Crystal
Oh, it's so good. Yes. I have the regular and the spicy in my cabinet right There.
Kid Fury
Yeah, same.
Crystal
I think Capital City, they might be the only brand of mambo sauce. I'm not sure that anybody else, you know, makes it and sells it commercially, but I don't know. Yeah, because I. Because I'm googling it now. And Capital City came right up like, yeah, bitch, don't look nowhere else. So congratulations to them, though. Costco's huge.
Kid Fury
Yeah. All right, let's jump into our pop culture segment that I call the Hot Vodka, where we talk about whatever the fuck. Former superhero Chris Brown. Disgraced street vigilante Chris Brown has been released on a $6.7 million bail. 6.7 million dollar bail. After being arrested on May 5th and charged with causing grievous bodily harm. Again, per the conditions of his bail, he will be able to kick his tore off his breezy bowl.
Crystal
Oh, boy.
Kid Fury
Like I don't know it. Okay. Which is set to start on the 8th of June. And Amsterdam. What a place to start after this. Well, let me see here. Because it said his trial. Oh, this is the 20th anniversary of his career. Jesus Christ.
Crystal
Wow. Damn. I guess it has been that long.
Kid Fury
During his hearing on May 16th. Yeah, we were. We talked about this. His case was deemed too serious, and they pushed it up, trying to see when he would be going back.
Crystal
Oh, they didn't set a date for his.
Kid Fury
Oh, they haven't set a date for his trial or whatever. Yeah. Kristen. On May 27, the ruling was granted at this court, and Brown did not attend the hearing. He's not. I did read this. He hasn't entered the plea to charges yet.
Crystal
Interesting. Enter.
Kid Fury
Yeah, I'm not saying anything here about when he has to go back, but they did say that he at least gets to start his tour. And I guess that's gonna be around Europe, so he ain't gonna be far anyway.
Crystal
Yeah, well, I had a feeling he wasn't actually gonna miss his tour. And I was actually. My fingers crossed that. Yeah, but I was hoping he would. I'm actually real tired of niggas getting away with shit. Real tired of that. I would love for y' all to face some real consequences, but this will probably be settled. However much money he's making on this tour, he'll end up giving a. A fifth of it to this man who he beat over the head with a bottle. And then, you know, maybe he'll keep breaking up fights in the. In the Shake Shack parking lot a la Jonathan. Yeah, I mean, I was waiting for that, I guess. I. I'm shocked that I shouldn't be But I'm shocked that this show in Amsterdam is sold out. Like, that many people really want to go see Chris Brown do anything.
Kid Fury
Sweetie, we're. We're outside the club. We can't get in, and we don't. We're not interested. I don't know.
Crystal
It's just.
Kid Fury
So he sold out the biggest stadium in the world twice.
Crystal
This is what I'm saying. Like, for the 20 years we've known Chris Brown, he's been a menace for like, 18 and a half of them.
Kid Fury
Like, but for a lot of people, they. That. That doesn't affect their desire to see him sing and dance or whatever.
Crystal
If he didn't, you know, if he wasn't abusive, physically abusive to women, then I might feel that same way. Like, if you have a drug problem or whatever, I don't have no problem supporting you.
Kid Fury
But I don't think I would. You wouldn't not, like, sell out? I have to go see this perform.
Crystal
Right.
Kid Fury
I wouldn't deny that he's good at performing and.
Crystal
Well, I don't like his music that much.
Kid Fury
That's what I'm saying. That's completely separate as of late. I wouldn't be in a rush to see it anyway. So. Yeah, I think I'm as perplexed as you, but, you know, there's millions and.
Crystal
Millions of people in this room who do not care about how many women he. Whose asses he beats, so.
Kid Fury
Nor anybody.
Crystal
Y' all got it. Y' all go watch Christopher. I'll be chasing Beyonce. That sneaky little bitch. What a show. Oh, my God, I can't wait to go again. This lady.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
Not, not, not beating people, not getting arrested, not having to worry about whether she can go on tour because is her bail gonna be denied? Etc. Etc. You know, just singing her fucking songs. But whatever. Y' all got it. Y' all got it.
Kid Fury
My depression and anxiety are so monumentally awful that I went and I sat front row of that concert, and I was actually mentally and emotionally incapable and enjoying it. And that's the first time I know at a Beyonce concert. It was very disassociating, terrifying, and just disappointing. Um, I'm also so fucked up that I had four seats for Kendrick and SZA last weekend and I forgot about them because I was in bed. So miss that show, too. Life's a blast. I'm having a great time, Cowboy Carter, But I'm forever blessed. I'm alive and yet holding on. Speaking of niggas and being held accountable, I would like to discuss a man Named Kid Cuddy and how he walked his leather jacket wearing ass into Sean Combs trial on Thursday and told the business, walked his ass out of that courtroom, smoked a cigarette, hopped in his whip and left. So the story goes as follows. Kid Cudi was brought to testify. He was already discussed in this trial because he briefly dated Cassie quite a few years ago.
Crystal
I remember this.
Kid Fury
And Puffy was insane. Is insane.
Crystal
Yep. Yep.
Kid Fury
So during this test testify, Test testimony, testimony. Kid Cudi claims that Puffy broke into his home in 2011 after finding out that he was dating Cassie. Right. And he says that he got a call from. I'm not gonna say her name, but he got a call from Puffy's assistant.
Crystal
She just testified too.
Kid Fury
So. Yeah.
Crystal
And laid it all out.
Kid Fury
And basically she said that she called him, or he said that she had called him and said that she was in his house with Puffy and an affiliate.
Crystal
Yeah.
Kid Fury
And basically letting him know that they were in the house and she didn't want to be like she was essentially forced to come with them.
Crystal
Right.
Kid Fury
And so he says he drove home, and on the way there, he calls Puffy and says, why are you in my house? And Puffy calmly responds, I want to talk to you, Kylie. Then says when he arrived home to confront him, that Puffy was not there, but he noticed that his dog was locked in the bathroom and that a bunch of Christmas gifts meant for his family members were opened.
Crystal
Yeah.
Kid Fury
What a fucking nutcase. So then a couple of weeks later.
Crystal
Touching my dog would have sent me into the strap.
Kid Fury
Oh, murder.
Crystal
Murder. I come home and you've opened up all the Christmas presents for my people and locked Lainey in a bathroom. Only God could keep me from slitting your throat. And I'm so serious. I'm so serious. Do not play with my dog. I am one of those people. I absolutely will think about the consequences later.
Kid Fury
Sinners. What was that? What was the Chinese woman name and sentence again.
Crystal
Don't do that because I don't remember.
Kid Fury
Grace. Grace.
Crystal
Because nobody. Nobody giving a n. You're the one.
Kid Fury
Who pointed out to me the irony or coincidence in that name. Yeah, I, I. Okay, let me continue. So then he says a couple weeks later, his Porsche was caught on fire. His Porsche got on fire. And they found a Molotov cocktail, like, the bottle in, like, the passenger seat or something. So obviously somebody threw. Set this on fire. At that point, he's like, okay, this is too much. This thing is fucking. We need to talk. He met up with Puffy the following day at A hotel in Los Angeles. And apparently they had like a pretty civil conversation and understanding when it came to Cassie or whatever. And then towards the end of the conversation, when they like, I guess, shook hands or whatever to go their separate ways, Katie said something about like, well, you know, what, what's gonna happen? What were we gonna do with my car? Something like that. And he says Diddy coldly looked at him and responded, I don't know what you're talking about. But then many years later, I guess at a party or something, approached him and apologized, quote, unquote, for everything. Right? That's about as much as I remember. They said after he did his testimony or whatever, he hopped up, didn't look at the nigga, just correct, left. But another thing I found interesting about this is that Brian Steele, who is now representing Puffy, made the interesting decision, but not really interesting. He's a fucking lawyer for a dirt bag. Like, of course he's doing whatever he can, right? But he tried to, when he was like cross examining him or whatever they call it, he asked Cudi something about Cassie if she was like, living a double life. And Cudi responded, yes, essentially because he. He says that when he first started dating Cassie, he thought that they were. He. She had broken up with Pavi, but in fact she had to burn her phone so she could deal with him. And she hadn't broken things off with him at the time. So the attorney tried to use that as a way of saying, oh, well, Cassie was living a double life then, as a way to try and I guess, villainize her. Okay, quick grind. Two things. One, quite normal for someone in an abusive relationship to kind of squirrel things away and to be very secretive about things, especially very personal things like that, because in many cases they're afraid of the person, the person you're representing or the type of person that you're representing, or they're afraid of how that person will react. That's 1, 2. Even if this person was living a double life, fucking both these niggas on the same night for three, four weeks straight, where is the part where there's an excuse for this nigga breaking into that man's house, right? Locking his dog up, opening his Christmas gifts, allegedly, and quite possibly setting his car on fire and threatening his life.
Crystal
In addition to the hundreds of other allegations like, none of I heard, trying to leave Puffy and fucking Kid Cudi at the same time does not justify none of that shit.
Kid Fury
Like, where are you going?
Crystal
I'm sure, right? I'm sure the attorney framed it like that deliberately to try to. I don't know what's. Do you really. Never mind. I'm going to say, do you really think the jury's going to be like, oh, well, she had another boyfriend, so not guilty. I mean, they might.
Kid Fury
That's what I'm saying.
Crystal
Y' all hate women enough to do it, but.
Kid Fury
Exactly.
Crystal
Because are we. Nobody is questioning whether Puffy fucked anybody else. Like that's been established. But she had one little boyfriend and now you blowing up cars. All right, I remember this, mind you.
Kid Fury
She left the nigga to Buffy.
Crystal
Yeah, right. I fully remember when it happened n being like, yeah, Puffy blew up Kid Cudi's car. And thinking Puffy, this is back when I was like, ain't no that little nigga. Look, take that, take that nigga. Like just talking on the track and ruining the songs by insisting on having some little whack ass eight bar verse. It was hard for me to picture. But over the past 10, 15 years, things have become a lot more clear that that image of Puffy that was very deliberately constructed so that that would be how those of us who aren't from, you know, where he grew up, aren't from New York, weren't really familiar in the mix. Would have, you know, that you would doubt that. That you would be like, that's not. Can't beat a little that be scooting around in the background of them videos. But yes, it is the little that be scooting around in the background of them videos. Yes, it absolutely can be. When I, When I saw that documentary about how he grew up, every single question I had about Puffy was answered. And I do mean everyone. As. As with all these degrees I got. That's literally for most of y' all. Actually, all I need to hear is the story of your childhood and everything you do now makes complete sense. So I wasn't. That. That answered every question for me. But it doesn't. It might explain things. It doesn't excuse them. So this trial can just keep on going. I'm ready to see this nigga found guilty. And then I'm curious to see what kind of punishment he's gonna get. Because if Chris Brown. Chris Brown has dodged accountability off and on for the past 20 years. Justin Timberlake just had a DUI and is still out here. Justin Bieber, I don't know what the fuck that nigga's doing. Have you heard about Justin Bieber?
Kid Fury
This nigga, he needs help.
Crystal
I think the people said he is on drugs and probably. But I Mean, you know, probably some mental illness and stuff going on there.
Kid Fury
I think that is probably.
Crystal
That nigga's crashing. Well, untreated mental illness and illicit drug abuse equals somebody's gonna have to take your phone and your freedom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause you are wild that. Anyway, we've seen less powerful, less rich men get away with shit like this over and over and over and over and over. Never really. Faith. Chris went to jail for like a year or so, maybe whenever that was forgot.
Kid Fury
He did go to jail.
Crystal
I think it was less than a year, remember, because he was, like, a little chunky when he got out and he lost that weight in, like, three months.
Kid Fury
But I forgot.
Crystal
I just would not. I don't want to see it, but I would not be surprised if he was found guilty. And then it was just like, oh, well, whatever. Probation for the next 15 years and pay restitution and damages in this amount and fines and fees and, you know, like, I just don't see puffy on Rikers, but I am hoping for it. Hoping and praying.
Kid Fury
I don't know about it, but this. I feel like it's a good chance that he's going down because this is.
Crystal
Oh, it's bad.
Kid Fury
It's not even. It's so many crimes. But then it's also like, nigga, who the fuck are you? Like, or who do you think that you are?
Crystal
Yep.
Kid Fury
The riddler.
Crystal
Like, yeah, though.
Kid Fury
Mm.
Crystal
Quite literally, these men really feel like if you have money and power, you can do whatever you want to. And that people who choose to be around you, even though you're mistreating them, abusing them or whatever, it's what they get. Because they just want to be. You know, they just want some of your aura or your money or both or whatever else clout. Like, they really do believe that, so.
Kid Fury
And outside of the violence and abuse and so on, just from a grounded and individual empathetic standpoint, I can't. I will. I can't even fathom giving a fuck about a person this much. Like, there's never gonna be somebody that I'm, like, dealing with and I find out that they're at somebody else house and I go break into it. Like, it's because it's not.
Crystal
Because it's not even. Like, that's not even caring so much. That's about control, a need for dominance and assertion and to make sure that people feel like they can't leave. They can't say something else. They can't do shit else. Like, that was more of a warning for Cassie, I think, than it actually was for Cudi.
Kid Fury
No, that's what I mean.
Crystal
It's more of a. You think you can go off and fuck somebody else? I'll kill all any nigga you set eyes on.
Kid Fury
That's what I mean. I'll never feel that strongly about a nigga ever. I don't think. And then it's not even. Just like I broke into the house and I'm sitting in the living room chair with, you know, one light on, waiting for niggas to walk in the door and see me with a gun in my life or whatever, fudgeing stupid Tyler Perry third act bullshit. But you're opening Christmas.
Crystal
That actually would not bother me a tenth as much as locking my dog up. And I get it. They probably put the dog in the bathroom because they were like, we're not gonna shoot this dog. You know, we're not trying to send that strong of a message.
Kid Fury
Obviously that would bother me more too. But like you said, there's the logic. There's the logic in that.
Crystal
There is some logic of, you know, the dog is not gonna let us just sit here and go through. So let's lock it up. But I would be so mad. That would touch my baby.
Kid Fury
The Christmas gift to me is like, what I'm tapping at is confusion. Like, what? So you felt like, and I'm gonna open these first. Okay, we can wrap them again. So I'm not even sure what. That's why I'm saying, like, this nigga shouldn't be outside. Like, outside of like the, the actual crimes. Like what the.
Crystal
Yeah, just to fuck with you. Like, like they might have just opened the, the door to the ice box in the freezer just to just. So all his food was spoilt.
Kid Fury
Brian still need to tell that bitch to plead insanity.
Crystal
That is a much harder plea than y' all think. It's because it's not giving insanity, it's giving psychopath. I, I, I agree. I think there's a 100 chance he's found guilty. Bitch, everybody lining up is saying the same thing.
Kid Fury
So they're not. But they're not even just like, oh, you know, like, they're not just like run of the mill awful crimes.
Crystal
Oh, no. It's always.
Kid Fury
He always takes it a comic book step further.
Crystal
Mm.
Kid Fury
That's like, oh yeah, he has all of these freak offs and like traffics people and stuff. But also he laces the baby oil with ketamine and like.
Crystal
Right. Forcing y' all to drugging niggas and Shit.
Kid Fury
Like pouring candle wax on everything.
Crystal
Like, it's like kidnapping your assistant, torturing her for five days because some jewelry came up missing after a party. That's the type of shit you do.
Kid Fury
It's like, not just.
Crystal
Did you take it? Oh, I don't believe you. Firing her.
Kid Fury
Many insane crimes.
Crystal
It is insane, and it's multiple. You didn't kidnap one nigga. You kidnapped, like, 50 niggas, a ton of people. Do you know you can't just take people from their homes and lives and families until you're done, no less.
Kid Fury
Counts of arson. Like, not one arson case, multiple arson case, not one ass whooping. Like, I don't know how you get away with this. I would. I understand everything you're saying about money, power, influence, all of those types of things, and it is a possibility, but I think. I honestly think that I would truly gag if he got away with this. It's too many insane things. It's too.
Crystal
You know what might get him. You know what might do it? The rico. The RICO might do it.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
And I think that's what his assistant's testimony was kind of alluding to or her testimony was supporting those charges. Because there's a network of niggas to help Puffy do all this.
Kid Fury
Exactly.
Crystal
It's not him. It's not him directly almost ever, you know, unless it's about beating on Cassie. But the terror that he inflicts, that's a network of people doing your fucking bidding.
Kid Fury
Even in the Cudi situation, she said it was him and somebody else who I would guess was security or some sort of muscle.
Crystal
Probably the same nigga that kidnapped the assistant.
Kid Fury
Right? So probably that.
Crystal
And he had multiple of those people, obviously, so. Child, I think because of the rico, he might end up with some, you know, mandatory jail time. But people have beat rico's. Trump. Trump beat a rico.
Kid Fury
That's so true.
Crystal
So we will see. I'm not holding out a lot of.
Kid Fury
Hope about this shit. I'm just, like. I knew it was gonna be ugly because again, we laughed about how crazy this man has been for entertainment for a while. So I knew it was gonna be pretty wild. But some of it is, like, are y' all. For, like, is the. Like, he did this numerous. Like, a lot. And people knew and helped. Like, now.
Crystal
Well, they ignored it, saw it. Cassie, one of them, somebody who used to work with him was saying how one time Puffy was beating Cassie's ass, and she said, y' all don't see this, and I'm sorry for that. Woman to say that while y' all are watching this happen, and you still was like, yeah, I can't intervene. I might lose my job. You just learn how many people think they'll do the right thing. It's easy to say theoretically what you would do, but then you see how many people are actually in that position, and you see what they do. And it's self preservation for most of them most of the time. And that's how shit like this perpetuates. Until somebody says, I don't care what I lose, I'm gonna tell the truth.
Kid Fury
Exactly.
Crystal
Not until then. And even then, it don't always work out. But it's just. Please. I'm calling on all the ancestors. Everybody in the heavens.
Kid Fury
I was going to read Boosie's stupid Dumbass last week.
Crystal
Well, Boosie. Oh, I was about to say.
Kid Fury
Oh, okay.
Crystal
Never mind.
Kid Fury
And I really. It's always something I'm not. And I'm. I'm still not. I'm. I'm still not going to. You dehydrated bitch. You need to be working. Like, focus on water.
Crystal
Mm.
Kid Fury
Drinking it, washing with it yourself. That is correct. Like, that's what you need.
Crystal
Focus.
Kid Fury
Well, you need that. Amen. Amen.
Crystal
And you know what else? A little visit to the dentist never hurt nobody.
Kid Fury
Oh, my God. If we can talk about floss.
Crystal
Also, a primary care physician can help you with that jaundice in demise. Yeah, there's just a lot going on with Boosie. You should not look that ran down N. What are you, like, 45? You should not look that bad. A little water, some produce. Have you ever heard of produce? It's vegetables and things at the store and the farmer's markets.
Kid Fury
Not music.
Crystal
Not beets.
Kid Fury
Vegetables. Beets.
Crystal
We're talking about beetroot juice for your blood pressure. Cause it's 210 over 165. Because you live off sunny D and Hot Pockets. We're gonna just. A little bit of self care really does go a long way. Like, nigga, you look bad.
Kid Fury
Pancake sandwiches.
Crystal
You look real bad. And you so obsessed with gay people. Like, you're just not beating the allegations, bro. With that mouth corners, you're really not. Like, okay, this is enough. He's a gremlin.
Kid Fury
Hey, guys. Summer is here and seasonal businesses are hiring. Hopefully everything from mule packers to drama camp leaders. This means that people with specific skills are in high demand and not easy to find. Whether you're hiring for one of these roles or any other role. How do you find top talent before the competition gets them ZipRecruiter that's right. Right now you can try ZipRecruiter for free@ziprecruiter.com the read. They're the powerful matching technology that does a deep dive into identifying top talent for your roles. Immediately after you post a job, ZipRecruiter smart technology starts showing you qualified people for it. Plus you can use their pre written Invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and gear up for the summer with their high speed hiring tools and just go to exclusive web address right now to try ZipRecruiter for free web address being ZipRecruiter.com the read again that is ZipRecruiter.com the Read ZipRecruiters the smartest way to hire.
Crystal
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Kid Fury
The heroic stabber of Tory Lanez named Santino Cassio spoken out he on the phone with tmz.
Crystal
Love that. Love him.
Kid Fury
It's just delicious and Santino says that he simply. The stabbing took place because he thought Tori put a price on his head. He was simply acting in self defense.
Crystal
Oh, period. He said, this actually ain't got nothing to do with who Megan. The what? Don't even know who that is.
Kid Fury
No political affiliation. He said he heard through grapevine that Tory put a bounty on him and that was maybe even planning on attacking him. He said shortly after he was passing Torey and saw he noticed what he thought was a suspicious lump in Torey's pocket. Assuming this to be a weapon, he decided to jump first and period, get to it. In which he stabbed 14. Stabbed Toria a number of 14 times, as we discussed. And Santino says although he stabbed Torey many, many times, he wasn't trying to kill him. Wasn't trying to kill him.
Crystal
No, no, no, no, no, no. He's already murdered somebody. He knows how to do it.
Kid Fury
Oh, he's in there for life. He was just making a point.
Crystal
That's what I'm saying. Why would you even try a nigga who was serving a life sentence? He's not getting out. He has nothing to lose. All right, I believe him.
Kid Fury
I guess I probably kept it.
Crystal
I almost said free. Free Santino, but I don't mean that. Santino probably a minister.
Kid Fury
And they won't. Yeah, Santino says he was not. Santino says he didn't walk away clean himself. He also suffered a stab wound in his leg, furthering this. His suspicions. And he felt like it was confirmation that Tori did have a weapon and was attempting to attack him. So Santino says that he wasn't trying to make the news or do, you know, pick on Tori because he's Tory, he was simply trying to defend himself. Santino, to that, I respond by saying, you could have stabbed this nigga because the Knicks lost. I really don't give a fuck.
Crystal
Like, I mean, I'm sure somebody did stab somebody else because the Knicks lost, but, you know, I thought you were a hottie behind bars. This makes a lot more sense.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
But, yeah, as far as I'm concerned, Santino Cassio is something like a hero. Like, do I need to name one of my dogs after this man? Like, you did a beautiful thing as far as I'm concerned. Now, your victims may not feel the.
Kid Fury
Same way, but, yeah, probably not.
Crystal
This is. So if it's true that he saw this lump in Torey's pocket and Tory stabbed him while he was stabbing him, as opposed to him accidentally stabbing himself, which I guess is possible, depending on how you A stabbing. But if all this is true, then I'm even more glad he did it. Like, yeah, it. Take care of yourself. Defend yourself. Don't let a stab you before you stab them first. Especially if you already on a life sentence. I just, I've never been to jail, prison, none of that. And I still don't. I feel like I even. I know better than to try to start some with somebody who's never getting out. What they going to do? Put him in solitary for a few months and then let him right back out like the n you if I have an end date in sight. I can't imagine doing something like this to provoke somebody who don't. But I'm not a dumbass like Tory Lanez is either, so. Yeah, I'm only sorry that you recovered. He's right back in prison though. So. That's good.
Kid Fury
Reading here that Cassie just went into labor. Congratulations.
Crystal
I'm so happy for that girl. She seems so happy.
Kid Fury
Good. Yeah, she does.
Crystal
Good luck. Girl crazy.
Kid Fury
I just say like it has to happen. I guess that's how we get here. So who, Stefan Diggs? Yeah, here's one. Cardiff B, Cardilla B. I see here hanging out in Miami with Stefon Dix of the National Football League. It seems that they're living their best life. Lots of ass shaking, lots of lap sitting, lots of of hand holding and stuff on, on the beach of Miami. And she looks very happy with her wide receiver boyfriend. Thoughts?
Crystal
Not really anything. This, this sounds like Cardi. Cardi sound like the type to be like, me and my man went to the strip club and picked out a bitch. The fuck like she sound like that girl. I think she, I mean she's talked about fucking girls.
Kid Fury
She's that girl.
Crystal
Right? So this sounds great for her. It sounds like something she wants to do, wants to participate in something that they are doing. You know, that's the thing. A lot of the times the problem be that y' all lie to women and you lie to women who are already down to do the ratchet ghetto nasty shit y' all want to do. That makes it even more ridiculous, you know, like it is. I'm, I'm willing to bet that Stephon Diggs is being more honest in his communication with Cardi. Maybe not. I don't know either one of them but, but a lot of this is a really a, a, a message for everybody else. You would be surprised at what you can do morally by simply being honest about what it is you want to do.
Kid Fury
Oh, look at that.
Crystal
I know It's a. It's a novel concept for these niggas. They're like, wait, honesty can get me what I want. And if the person I'm talking to doesn't want it, then I can just go find somebody else who does want it. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Has science proven these claims? Yes, nigga. Just, you know, it's when you lie and deceive and say you gonna be one thing when you have no intention of actually being that thing, that's when y' all get into all this drama. And Cardi threatening to leave Offset 88 times over the past, you know, six years until she finally did it. That's how we get there.
Kid Fury
Well, most men are very afraid. It's not an excuse. Everything. Oh, well, we can unpack that, but that's just the longest. That's a long rant. Men are very afraid of being inactive. Inadequate. Men are very afraid of powerless. Men are very afraid of being alone, even though they usually create this situation where they die alone because everybody fucking hates them. Men are very bitter of being poor. Men are very afraid of being disrespected. Men are very afraid of being emasculated, not having fun, dumb shit. Like. And so their coping mechanism often is wildly doing whatever the fuck they want and making excuses for the mess later because they're broken.
Crystal
Well. Well, I'm just going in.
Kid Fury
No, all of them. I said many or most. One of them.
Crystal
Yeah. No, the niggas who display this behavior.
Kid Fury
But two, I think your point, you often, even if it's not, you know, the ratchet, let's go to the strip club, girl. Many women are on the sidelines, like, hey, here I am, begging to love you and assist and all of this pain and shit you need to work on. Oh, yeah.
Crystal
Oh, they want to be up there.
Kid Fury
And niggas are like, oh, yeah, hold that thought. I gotta go get something from the car real quick. And then they go cheat on you. Like, so it's not like, even though they're not a therapist, they should be at the house. Like, maybe we should go to therapy. No, it's always, like, women trying to help get through it. But, you know, I mean, you broken people trying to help fix you. You don't want to. Next thing you know, you're throwing bombs into people's Porsche because your girlfriend hates you, and your girlfriend hates you. Because you're awful.
Crystal
Because you're awful. It's because the way you act. It's the way you act. You need to go to therapy. You need to go talk to the lady and not just talk to the therapist. But be honest. Don't go in there telling half truths and making the details look different so you don't seem as shitty as you really are. This is what these niggas are doing. This is what they're doing.
Kid Fury
Your wife slash baby mama is dating other people, having sex with other people because she was tired of you cheating on her every two weeks.
Crystal
And you did it.
Kid Fury
Her and the Internet having to hear about it every three weeks. And so here we are. You can't follow her around. You can't rant and call names. And we're in the bed that you made. You're in the bed you made. She in Stephon Tigg's bed. But you didn't. Like, you can't.
Crystal
And that's really the long and short of it. You could have stayed with this woman. I'm sure Cardi would have been happy being Offset's wife if Offset would just stop fucking every fucking body. That's all she was asking. And you were like, let her go live, cuz. Bitches was posting screenshots of DMs with offset, and Cardi had to deal with that, like, every three months.
Kid Fury
So remember when T.I. and Tiny had that TV show and they had that scene where they went to dinner and TI was trying to confront Tiny about, like, a picture that she took with, what's his name? Floyd Mayweather.
Crystal
Floyd Mayweather or something like that.
Kid Fury
Or maybe they, like, dance together at the party some shit. And he was pissed, like, I'm ready for a divorce. You are the most disrespectful. Like, he was, like, livid. And she's like, well, you've cheated on me about 57 times. About 48 of them were recorded and posted online.
Crystal
Yep.
Kid Fury
So I don't know why we're talking about a picture I took with a N that I'm not with.
Crystal
Right.
Kid Fury
But he just felt convicted in how angry he was. Nigga, you've cheated on this lady 8,000 times, and we all know about it. And you don't care and you both to laugh about it. She took a picture, and you. And you want to have a dinner on camera to try and read her about it. You niggas are sick.
Crystal
They are indeed. That's exactly what it is. They truly believe that things are different for them than they are for women. And they should not have to be held to the same standards. They can dish it out. They cannot take it. It'd be the it's the people who are the meanest, the nastiest. Just hate every body. You terrible to everybody. You've been awful to every fucking woman you ever dated. Let one girl look at a nigga away you don't like, and your whole ego blows up again. Call the lady and tell the truth. That's where you need to start. Yuck, yuck. Yuck, yuck.
Kid Fury
Well, apparently Glorilla may have had an adjustment recently. She posted a photo of herself in the bathroom mirror, and fans noticed that her nose looked a little bit different. And when they commented, making accusations that she'd gotten a nose job, she replied to the picture with all caps and did so. I say this. You know, it's her face. I don't care about cosmetic surgery and things like that. I'm always just like, please try your best not to look crazy. Good luck to me in this, at least in these pictures. It doesn't look crazy.
Crystal
No, it doesn't. It's definitely different, but it is different.
Kid Fury
It's noticeable.
Crystal
It's not. It's not ate up or not.
Kid Fury
Yeah, she doesn't look crazy. Yeah, she's still. Gotta know she's still like her. It doesn't look crazy to me in this picture, so we'll see. I also thought it was funny that she changed her Instagram picture to Michael.
Crystal
J. Yeah, that was funny.
Kid Fury
But she's having fun with it. She don't care. I guess that's the attitude. Just, you know, keep it, take it, take your time. You're still young. You take. You take your time. But I think she looks fine in this picture. She looks good.
Crystal
Well, I mean, yeah, she is a cute girl. And this is not her first surgery, and she's probably not done. I think it's a reflection of how deep a lot of people's insecurities can go. Not saying that's necessarily her, but, you know, a lot of times people start off talking about, you know, how much they love themselves, they love their features, they love blah, blah, blah about themselves. And then slowly, over time, they start nipping and tucking all over the place. And it's her face, it's her body. Like you said, it's her nose. She can do whatever she wants to with it. I'm thinking about it in a deeper context, but she probably isn't. She's probably like, yeah, bitch, I didn't like my nose and I wanted it chopped up. And I didn't like my titties. I wanted bigger ones. And if I want to get my ass done or Anything else, I'm going to do that. And you're right, you absolutely can do that. So go off and do that. Have yourself a good time. But yeah, I think when people get real money and the first thing they do is start hacking away at themselves, I think, oh, this is something that's been an insecurity for you for much longer than however long you've been famous. Whether that's true or not.
Kid Fury
It's not like people have exactly been kind to her about the way she was.
Crystal
Oh, no, you can't, baby, if you. In these comments, you're going to lose your mind. You really, you. I get it. I do. Cause especially. Especially. Cause y' all young. Y' all grew up being online. You was online before you got famous, you know, like everybody you know didn't.
Kid Fury
Grow up with phones like computers and shit, baby.
Crystal
Cause these kids being on these phones and 4th, 5th, 6th grade, it's high key, terrifying their hand. Have you seen the handwriting of these children? Oh, no, it's bad. I just read a story the other day about how so many of them are vaping that they have something called popcorn lungs.
Kid Fury
I've heard of that.
Crystal
Their lungs are looking crazy. Well, so anyway, I get that it's hard to maybe divest from the Internet if you've grown up on it. You know, it's a normal part of your day. But I do think when you start really getting famous, it's very, very use to have somebody else managing your public facing social account or you know, maybe mostly managing it while you have your own private thing for people who actually know you or something else. Just something where you're not constantly reading the opinions of people who don't fucking know you.
Kid Fury
I actually agree. I think, I agree just because. Yeah. I think that also is part of us being us and us being from the generation that we are.
Crystal
Yes.
Kid Fury
And having.
Crystal
I'm so glad I'm old.
Kid Fury
That context. Because for us, we. I think we do know in life. We do know and recognize life without that stuff. I think there's. For some young people who do grow up or did have grown up on social media, on the Internet, it almost gives them anxiety. A thought of not being the one controlling such and such and such because like, it's almost like it doesn't make sense. But you're right. I think when you get to a certain level of fame or being recognizable or what have you, that might be best that you have your fins and you have your thing that's managed. Because I'm sitting. I'm thinking about, like, a lot of my fave celebrities. That's kind of what they do.
Crystal
Yeah, because. Because your fans don't treat you like a human being. To them, you're not a regular girl from Memphis. Right. She's from Memphis. Like, you're just. You're not a. You're not just a regular degular bitch. Like they. They treat you in this way that isn't fully human. And a lot of that is positive because you get all this positive attention, love, adoration that other people will never get.
Kid Fury
Right.
Crystal
But a lot of it is negative, nigga. Yeah, you're gonna be subjected to a lot of hateful, rancid opinions about you that are based in nothing at all. And that's a lot to read and internalize about yourself.
Kid Fury
So it's literally like wearing a floor length dress because it's Easter. Picture with my grandma. Happy Easter. And like, third caption is, show me your butthole, nigger. It's just like you even when.
Crystal
Or people calling you ugly, putting your picture next to like some cartoon animal or something. Like people constantly making fun of your looks that will get to you. And those comments have a place to land if there's a part of you that agrees with them or believes them. It's totally different when people say shit about you that you don't agree with, that's much easier to brush away. But when you, like when you're insecure about your nose and niggas are making fun of your nose and you easily got the money for a nose job, it's like, yeah, I'm a wrap up this tour and go get a goddamn nose job because I'm tired of y' all talking about me. But that's the thing. There will always be something else. There will always be something. That's why. That's why the message keeps going back to self love, self validation, self reassurance, self esteem, self worth. Because other people will always convince you that something's wrong with you.
Kid Fury
And that's the other reason why I was saying, like, slow down. Like, you're young, like you're a kid, you know, Just because your face is fine. Your face was fine.
Crystal
She's such a cute girl.
Kid Fury
You're so pretty and cute and more than that, talented. Like, no shade. Most of the time when I'm experiencing Glorilla, I don't see you. Because most of the time I'm listening to your music. I'm just listening, you know? But when I do, I'm pleased. Like, I don't have now, that said, you can do what you want to do, But I think that's why I said what I said. And I agree with what Krystal is saying, because for a lot of people, it's like, oh, yeah, I've always wanted to go get my nose done. They got my nose done, and then, boom. But then for some people, when it is based in insecurities from comments and negativity, it is always something. Even if it is, some people just work a regular desk job, work at the grocery store, and go and get something done, and then they're like, ooh, I never noticed that this. Now I need to go get that. As I even like when I watch TV shows or something. I don't think I've ever watched one about surgery, but I've watched ones before about people who've got surgery with. I've watched one before with people who've got surgery where they'll say stuff like, okay, I've had this done, this done, this done, and next I'm getting this. I'm getting my cheeks, and I'm getting this, and then I'm gonna be done. So it all. It seems like it is a thing where it.
Crystal
You're never gonna be.
Kid Fury
The next thing you know, you look like Billy the Puppet because you just didn't stop.
Crystal
Yep. Because you don't have the foundation of loving yourself.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
You're chasing physical, quote, unquote, perfection, thinking that that will give you the satisfaction that you're looking for, the happiness that you're looking for. It won't. You have to go within for that? Yes. That's where all the cliche things come out about loving yourself and blah, blah, blah, and how the hell you gonna love somebody else. That all of that is rooted in this idea that you can do everything else. You can try so hard and be the biggest people pleaser and the most co dependent person of all time, and you can just give and give and give of yourself in the hopes that somebody will love you back and it will never be enough because you don't love you. Now, that might be too deep for Glorilla. That might not be her story, but it's a lot of people's story, and I pray it's not, because I don't want her to keep chopping away at herself. But I know me saying, girl, you're so cute. What cute little body. Don't let these niggas make you feel bad. It's like, okay, ain't he like, yeah, you my auntie? Of course you think I'm cute. The niggas are talking bad about me, though. You don't remember how that hurt. I'm like, yeah, you do actually have to think back to when you were in your mid-20s and easily influenced by what other people had to say about you.
Kid Fury
Yeah, it could be a little mixture of both, but, you know, we wish everyone a little best.
Crystal
Yeah, it could be. Yeah. Big fan. Big, big fan. And I hope you're not one of those girls who just becomes addicted to the surgery and never feels like it's enough, because you are more than enough.
Kid Fury
Exactly as you are, like, way more enough.
Crystal
Way more. Girl, you out repping all these little niggas.
Kid Fury
My feet. I was. When you performed on snl, I was so proud.
Crystal
Yes. Yes. Getting to see her here in the city, like, girl, you're a star. I hope. I hope you know that. I really hope you know that. And if she does and she's like 88% of what you just said do not apply to me at all. Great. It applied to somebody, though. It applied to somebody needs to hear that. So. Amen.
Kid Fury
She might be like, that's sweet of you, all that.
Crystal
Really. Take that therapist degree and go therapy. I'm fine.
Kid Fury
Or.
Crystal
Or something resonated.
Kid Fury
You said. Maybe it is these.
Crystal
You're making me. Make me think about something. You're making me thinking about something. Making me think.
Kid Fury
I say last but not least, Peter Thomas going to prison. If you would. Oh, yeah. They got him big time, baby.
Crystal
For what?
Kid Fury
Tax fraud and his employees.
Crystal
Oh, taxes.
Kid Fury
Bury that. No, that. Oh, no, he was.
Crystal
Not bury that.
Kid Fury
No 1,000% that. So he was accused of stealing $2.5 million of payroll taxes from his employees. So that's why it's considered tax wrong. And so now he's going to jail. I can't remember for how long. I think maybe a little over a year or something. I don't matter. But he posted. He posted this picture outside the bureau of prison. What a nigga in Miami. It is this long ass caption of, like. Just go read it.
Crystal
Oh, my God. People told me not to post this. The law is the law. If you Wait. The first thing I must say to all new business owners, please pay that withholding tax. The law is the law. Yeah, girl.
Kid Fury
It's very much just like, don't be me. This is accountability. This is what accountability looks like. I'm gonna.
Crystal
And you knew that you deliberately went around the law so that you didn't have to pay it.
Kid Fury
Yeah, you. That man literally posted a thing after intentionally breaking along of. Hey, guys, quick advice just in case.
Crystal
You thought it was cool.
Kid Fury
Don't break the law.
Crystal
Don't do that.
Kid Fury
You shouldn't.
Crystal
Because it's not even please pay that withholding tax. It's don't go stealing from your employees payroll tax taxes in order to. You don't go lying and conniving in order to not pay that. You want to have a legitimate business. First of all, you're bad for opening a restaurant lounge type of thing. Restaurants famously difficult to turn a profit. Famously. A business venture that famously.
Kid Fury
He opened like four.
Crystal
So, like, girl, at some point, when are you going to understand maybe a bar, like just a bar like with tenders and bottles in the back and cut up limes and shit. Like, maybe that's all you need to have. Maybe you don't need to worry about serving food other than peanuts and pretzels on the bar.
Kid Fury
Like, and that Tom and Joyner bar and grill ass shit that she. He had in Miami off the.
Crystal
Oh, yes, I remember that.
Kid Fury
I know. That rant had to be astronomical. They were. There's no way. There's no way that they were able to afford that. That rent alone had to be stupid because of that.
Crystal
High rent is supposed to mean high profit. You know, people go to south beach or whatever. You know, you're not getting $20 for an entree like it's supposed to be. You can justify spending or charging more money for your food or whatever. Like, because people are expecting a certain experience by being in this high dollar area of town. But it's still famously difficult to make restaurants work. So who kept the money to do this? Yes, even good ones struggle. What you think Keith Lee been doing? What you think Keith Lee been doing? Literally, Keith Lee goes around saving restaurants that are good, but it's just hard because people have a million options of where to eat and it's always cheaper to eat the fuck at home. So Peter Thomas is too old to be like, oh yeah, y' all heads up, right?
Kid Fury
And you knew better to be posting this stupid ass.
Crystal
Like, girl, all my people told me not to post this, that I'm crazy if I do. I'm not crazy. Just real as fuck. You can be. Both meet in the middle song night.
Kid Fury
You.
Crystal
For my four beautiful grandsons. This life ain't easy, but we're resilient. And your granddaddy is a king. Oh, God, gross. You see these and these comments? I'm so proud of you, Peter. Accountability is where true change begins. Prison will build you, my brother.
Kid Fury
Prison. Thank you.
Crystal
Strong, big bro. Love you, Peter. You'll get through this and have a testimony in the end. Oh, black people.
Kid Fury
He had a testimony at the beginning. That's why he's going to jail.
Crystal
Oh, okay. Well.
Kid Fury
Well, I'm not crying. God bless you.
Crystal
I mean, no, you fully knew what you were doing. Did it to yourself.
Kid Fury
Well, that's it for the hot box this week. Let's take a break.
Crystal
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Kid Fury
Hey guys, we're back and it's time for your letters.
Crystal
Yes it is. Send your questions to askthereadmail.com we may read them aloud on the show. Our first letter this week comes from Shannon, who says hey, Chris lankifieri. I'm a 28 year old woman living in Atlanta. My husband and I have a couple friend, Vernon and Kay. We've been cool with them for about four years. My husband met them by working at the same job and we were in similar stages of life, with us having a newborn and them expecting a child seven months later. We hung out together as friends and with the kids fairly often. In 2023, Vernon liked three of my older Instagram photos of me in a bikini and some shorts. I found this super odd, but still intentional. I settled on it first and then eventually told my husband about it and we decided to just keep that as a mental Note.
Kid Fury
Okay.
Crystal
In 2024, I realized I really like his wife, K and I consider her friend material, but not Vernon. He has a very contrarian personality and he wants to debate about topics he don't know shit about.
Kid Fury
I hate that.
Crystal
So many niggas. So many niggas. I hate that.
Kid Fury
Oh my God.
Crystal
It isn't a debate if only one of us knows what we're talking about.
Kid Fury
That isn't, that isn't.
Crystal
At that point I'm educating, right? It's a lesson and you're not listening. Oh God. Okay, Vernon was on some pro Trump shit in my house even though he also said he wasn't even planning on voting in the 2024 election. He was saying shit just to argue. This is not my idea of a good time. And I even brought it up to my therapist because I felt conflicted because I'm trying to grow our village. But fast forward today. Fast forward to today, child. Do not fuck with Vernon at all.
Kid Fury
What'd he do?
Crystal
Girl, he's. She about to tell him. He started a clothing brand, also known as a raggedy ass line of T shirts.
Kid Fury
Oh, God.
Crystal
And he was not fulfilling orders to our mutual friends who knew him personally to the point where one of them had to file a charge back with his bank to get his hundred dollars. After six months of waiting for a T shirt or a refund, Vernon quit his job to start this quote, unquote brand. Quit his job.
Kid Fury
Okay, to sell.
Crystal
Vernon quit his job to sell these T shirts while K juggles a remote job and their toddler every weekday. Since the blow up with him not fulfilling the T shirt order, he's been a topic of discussion at my husband's job because obviously a lot of people there know Vernon. He used to work there. I have learned so much about this fuck nigga. Turns out he hasn't fulfilled orders for a lot of people, and he's sending dick pics to his homeboy's girlfriends. What now? When my husband told me this, I told my husband that I don't know enough about the rules and boundaries that Vernon and Kay have in their marriage to bring this up to K, since she and I have never chatted about our relationships or our partners. When I think about Fair. Yeah. But when I think about how much K has carried in their relationship, it's starting to bother me more and more. Especially because last holiday season, they traveled to K, Kay's family, and Vernon asked her dad for K's hand in marriage. Okay, so they're not married.
Kid Fury
Oh, okay. Okay.
Crystal
In a relationship with a toddler.
Kid Fury
Oh, so she can escape.
Crystal
At this point, I feel like Kay is basically a single mom in a relationship, which I hate. Because they're. Because now their toddler is missing milestones because Kay is juggling so much. It's one thing for Vernon to be liking thirst traps on Instagram, but sending dick pics is so foul and clearly a violation. And the homeboys that Vernon has backstabbed are ready to beat this nigga's ass whenever and wherever they see him.
Kid Fury
I mean, that's. That.
Crystal
That makes sense. I want K to know, and I think she deserves to, but I don't know how to tell her. I don't have proof of anything, and I'm already not super in her business like that. I'm thinking of telling Vernon that he has to tell K or else I'll do it. I'm also thinking of reaching out to her best friend to check the temperature because maybe she's on to Vernon. Or maybe they're non monogamous. Although I do think that's a real reach. If you were me, how would y' all reveal this info to K? Should I be honest with my husband about now? Feeling like I should tell her? Is reaching out to her best friend too messy? I can't get proof or screenshots without my husband knowing, and he doesn't even have proof. Do you think all of this is pointless without proof? Thanks so much, Shannon. President of the Vernon Club. I know that's right. This quit his job to sell T shirts and didn't even sell the T shirts.
Kid Fury
I'm baffled.
Crystal
Like, you asked my daddy if you could marry me.
Kid Fury
No, you being the type of nigga who is like, well, actually she stepped on glass and then try to argue with me. Or like, the earth is flat. Or like, if you. The contrary. Yeah, which. Yeah.
Crystal
Sure, sure, sure. It was Kelsey.
Kid Fury
They changed that story a million times more than like, family matters. Like, oh, my God. Anyway, yeah, he would have lost me. What was the K? The girl? The girlfriend is K. K is the.
Crystal
One dealing with Vernon.
Kid Fury
I would have been out if I was K. Once I discovered that this nigga liked to argue about shit he has no information on for real and no desire or intent to receive information on. But everything that followed just made it worth a trump support. But I'm actually not gonna vote just to be argumentative. Sending. I highly doubt that Vernon and K have any sort of an agreement in their relationship that permits that type of behavior. If the boyfriends of these women all want to whoop this nigga's ass, it like, I don't know why you would. I doubt it. Also, A, who would quit his job to go and sell T shirts and then not even sell the T shirts. I feel like he might be a.
Crystal
Liar and calling it a clothing line. Nigga, this is Cafe Press T shirts. What? This is not.
Kid Fury
Wait, are you.
Crystal
Oh, Christ.
Kid Fury
Jesus. So, okay, couple things. No, not a couple. Which is the one? I would stay out of this.
Crystal
Oh, I would not. I would want to.
Kid Fury
I would stay out of it. I don't. Because, like, it. My thing is you. I wouldn't reach out to her friend first because I feel like that is messy. I wouldn't go to Vernon first because fuck that nigga. I don't like him.
Crystal
Correct.
Kid Fury
And I don't feel like that would be productive. The proof part, I don't know how relevant. Like, I don't know if you need to have a manila folder or you know, some sort of, you know, meet out behind a target at night and trade evidence. Like, I don't think that you need. You could probably tell her that this is going on in that. Vienna. Just like, what I kind of.
Crystal
This is insane.
Kid Fury
Unless, you know, I was just about to say that. Unless you know something about K that would make you feel like she's incredibly. What's the word? Like, naive or.
Crystal
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kid Fury
When you don't want to accept something in denial. Yeah, it was like she's in denial or something. Then that might be tricky otherwise. Prove the niggas sell T shirts. Like, I feel like if you quit his job to sell T shirts. I feel like if you tell her this, in this economy, I don't know how much evidence of proof you don't need for her to believe you. That said, I understand why that is kind of something that's making you think twice, especially you saying your man don't have evidence either. So. Yeah, I feel like my main instinct would be to just stay out of it because it ain't my business. I don't have to pull my hair out over another woman's. And then the gag is, if I go and tell you that this ain't and all the reasons that he ain't, and you stay with him and we stay right by you, and now things are awkward, what do I do? However, I am going to say something, I would either just say directly, hey, I forgot. I don't remember if she gave her. Her man a name, but Shannon.
Crystal
Oh, her own.
Kid Fury
No, she didn't. Okay.
Crystal
No.
Kid Fury
Oh, you know, my man been, you know, at work, such as hearing about. Because why is he saying that? People are ready to put hands and feet on old boy. That might be enough reason for you to be like, oh, seems that Vernon has an OP or two.
Crystal
Yeah.
Kid Fury
OP or two. Out in these streets, they're saying they wanted to fight him and, like, really fight him for what? He was sending photos. Photos to her girlfriends and stuff like that. Photos? What kind of photos? Well, you know, what kind of.
Crystal
Oh, no, girl. That's what Patrick said.
Kid Fury
Shannon, what kind of photos? That kind.
Crystal
Girl, what kind you think I'm talking about? Girl, what kind you think?
Kid Fury
Those kind. The kind next next to a Febreze bottle. The kind of. Next to the remote. The remote. That's kind of.
Crystal
Oh, man. Yeah, I would. Next time because I would stay completely out of it if. If. If you didn't like K. If you didn't consider her, like, cool, et cetera, then, yeah, I would say, stay out of it. But since you do actually care about this girl, I would probably be like, next time we hung out, I'd be like, so are you, like, the type where if somebody heard something, you would, like, want them to come to you with proof first? Or are you, like, the type to. You just want somebody to tell you if they know something? I would be like, yeah, girl, let's get to know each other. You know, like, let's have some wine and some charcuterie, and let's, you know, let's gab. Because I just would not be able to look you in your face knowing how much I care about you. And this man is a goddamn dirtbag, and. And y' all, you might be getting ready to marry him. So I. I would have to say something.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
I would have to. So that I could sleep at night. That would actually be more about me, probably, than it would be about you.
Kid Fury
But, yeah, you're right.
Crystal
You also, when you do stuff like this, you have to understand, I mean this with love. Everybody's not doing okay. Um, I venture to say a lot. Half, maybe even most, are not doing okay. And there are lots of people who stay in very shitty relationships because they genuinely believe they don't deserve any better.
Kid Fury
Oof.
Crystal
Or they genuinely believe that, like, their child deserves to have both biological parents in the home. And it don't matter what mama do, what daddy do. It just matters that the family is together. And so they'll endure all kind of abuse and neglect just to say that they have their quote, unquote family. So I would tell K this, knowing there's an excellent chance that K is gonna hear all that, be mad at Vernon and still stay with him. Yeah, she could have all the assistance in the world. She could go stay with her mama. She could have, like, all this other stuff where she could get away with this nigga, and she'll still choose to stay for whatever reason. So you have to say it because you feel like she deserves to know, not because you want her to leave him, because people aren't doing okay. Lots of girls will hear this and stay with they man anyway. So true.
Kid Fury
That's what I'm saying. Like, there's a. There's a strong possibility that she might stay with him anyway. You have to accept that. That's why I think saying it to her in a way that is. I don't know, like, I would try to deliver it in a way that doesn't feel like the intro to a TV courtroom show or something. You Know, I would say it kind of like you did, like, in a fight, you know, just kind of like I would try to make it as light as possible so it doesn't feel like I'm bringing you this bad news. Even if it does take a turn where it becomes emotional or she becomes sad. You can be prepared for that thing. But also be prepared for the fact that through all of that, whatever, she might still have Vernon run on her arm with a box full of unprinted T shirts that ain't going nowhere.
Crystal
And some women will chain themselves to a sinking ship, and you have to ask yourself, am I willing to go down with you like that? This is where the conversations end up going very, very frequently.
Kid Fury
But if I was all right, would have pushed left off of the piece of wood so that nigger could stay alive and they could freeze to death in the ocean. I just don't understand. I'm gonna wish you the best. You shouldn't be killing them all. You should be murdering them all. It should be mass murder all of the time.
Crystal
They love men. They love. Well, they love their particular. This. This one. Most of the women I know are like, there are three men who are.
Kid Fury
Acceptable and a lot of okay, yeah.
Crystal
The rest of them don't be alone. But my husband, like, my husband only man I trust. I know a lot of women like that.
Kid Fury
Yeah, that's true.
Crystal
Yeah. But good luck, Shannon. That's a hard position for you to be in. Especially if you feel like their child is now being delayed because mama work all the time and daddy out here pretending to sell T shirts out the trunk. Like, that's a.
Kid Fury
Like it's not even that to be. It's meticulous. It's complicated or whatever.
Crystal
Oh, yeah.
Kid Fury
But if you quit your job to.
Crystal
Do it, grounds for breaking up.
Kid Fury
Why do you have people, you know that are contacting the bank to get their money back? Because they haven't had an order fulfilled in six months.
Crystal
You selling T shirts to your former co workers like they don't know how to find you. Like they can't just go to the bank and get their money back.
Kid Fury
Vernon is hilarious. He need to quit that shit until J.
Crystal
He got a lot of Nick Dacity. This is just the audacity of these niggas to quit your job in this economy to sell. If you're gonna sell T shirts, sell the T shirts first. Make sure you make enough money to replace your income for at least a year or two. Make sure that she's consistent.
Kid Fury
Yes.
Crystal
Build up your savings and all that and then quit your job, Nigga, I'm so very sorry.
Kid Fury
I mean, it's. With all due respect, selling shirts, you can maintain. You can keep your job and sell shirts until it makes sense. I know how to sell shirts, and I know many people that do. And then when it becomes fucking denim tears, then you're like, oh, yeah, I'm quitting this job because I literally cannot fulfill all of these orders. I can't do both. You just being like, nah, I'm quitting the thing. And then you're not even shipping them. What's going on?
Crystal
Like, you don't have a wife and toddler at home. That lets me know that taking care of your family is not your first priority. That's a man to marry, right?
Kid Fury
Ooh, Ooh, Shannon, throw that in there. Throw that in there. Throw that in there. Thr it in there.
Crystal
Good luck, girl. Your.
Kid Fury
Your first priority is clearly not taking care of your family. Marriage. Where.
Crystal
I'm going to now legally align myself to a man who's made it clear through his behaviors that taking care of his child is not his first priority.
Kid Fury
Why?
Crystal
Because he know I got it.
Kid Fury
Did he sell a shirt to Moneybagg, yo? Like, why did he feel it all by myself?
Crystal
Niggas, this is somebody who knows that he's going to be taken care of by his wife, his mama, somebody.
Kid Fury
Exactly.
Crystal
He knows that he has a cushion somewhere.
Kid Fury
1,000%.
Crystal
Good luck, Shannon. Our next letter comes from Lavalier, who says, I'm struggling with a close family member who's been dealing with drug and alcohol abuse for over 20 years. While I still love and admire her, her behavior has become aggressive and unsafe, and it's getting harder to maintain our relationship. She's wrecked about 10 cars from driving while intoxicated. Our family suggested that I give her my car, which I'm close to paying off, and I refuse to do it.
Kid Fury
Why the.
Crystal
Okay, Your family is 12.
Kid Fury
She wrecked 10.
Crystal
In the past 25 years, she has wrecked 10 cars.
Kid Fury
Why would anybody give her a car?
Crystal
I've never wrecked one car in 30 years of drive.
Kid Fury
I would give her a hot Wheels car.
Crystal
Like, I wouldn't let her drive them little baby jeeps that the toddlers. You can't even get in that bitch. You walk everywhere you go. God damn. Okay. We include her in events, but she often gets drunk last minute and makes excuses or gets upset when we go somewhere without her, even though we've made big efforts to keep her involved. And the older I get, the less I want to be around her because nobody knows what will trigger her. I'm usually the one asked to go get her or babysit her when we go out, and it's draining. I haven't talked to her like I usually do for the past month, and I don't regret it because she usually just puts me to the side until she needs something. Right now, I feel like I need to focus on myself. What would y' all do if you were in this situation where you wanna be there for somebody, but you don't have the patience? Thanks, Lavalier. Well, the first thing I would say is that you clearly do have the patience. You've been dealing with this person all your life, so.
Kid Fury
Letter sounded very patient.
Crystal
It's not. Yeah. It's not patience that you're struggling with. It's the fact that your patience has not been respected and this behavior has continued.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
All of your life. All of your life. So, yeah, at this point, it's more of a what would you do?
Kid Fury
Yeah, it is more of a what would you do?
Crystal
I'm absolutely not giving her my goddamn car. We could start right there.
Kid Fury
Yeah. That, I assume, is a joke. Are you auditioning for something or.
Crystal
I would laugh in the face. Anybody who, like, give an alcoholic my car, hackle it.
Kid Fury
Like, open mouth, unhinged jaw screaming. Why would I ever do that?
Crystal
A bitch who has been sober seven times in the past decade. You want me to give her my car?
Kid Fury
I wouldn't give her my roller skates.
Crystal
This is why you can't have my scooty bike. You can't have a bike. I don't think you need nothing with wheels on it. And I'm so serious.
Kid Fury
I'm so serious.
Crystal
You know what you need? Hokas. Get you some hocus and strap them hoes up, get you some nice socks and put them on and pump your way across town. Or you know what? Let me show you how to download this app on your phone. It's called Uber. Here, go another one. It's called Lyft. Yeah, this is who you. You need to pay somebody 16 to take you home because you can't be trusted. You're not getting behind the wheel of my goddamn car, Period.
Kid Fury
I don't think you should get behind the wheel of any. But you certainly, certainly not mine. This is not.
Crystal
It's a. It's a miracle she's not in jail. It's a miracle she hasn't killed anybody.
Kid Fury
Give her, like, an actual mere 10 wrecks.
Crystal
Y' all are aiding and abetting a criminal. Give her a Car now y' all need to be arrested for conspiracy.
Kid Fury
I literally would look around at all of them and realize. And say like, you realize you niggas are the. Are part of the problem.
Crystal
You niggas are part of the problem.
Kid Fury
She shouldn't have a car, period. You want her, you give her your goddamn car.
Crystal
Cause it doesn't sound like she works consistently. So where does she get 10 cars from?
Kid Fury
Oh, that's right.
Crystal
You niggas gave her 10 cars and.
Kid Fury
You don't have one. I'm the only one with a car left. Cause I ain't giving her mine. Isn't that interesting, Boy?
Crystal
Family will keep the toxicity going. It's crazy to be the only one who sees it. It's crazy to be the only one who's mad.
Kid Fury
It's maddening.
Crystal
Y' all are wild.
Kid Fury
It is.
Crystal
It is.
Kid Fury
What? So, yes, I absolutely would do nothing of the sort. And I would place. I would place very firm and assertive boundaries between myself and this particular cousin. I think that's for your best interest. You've done what you can, you've tried, you've loved. Ultimately, you have to take care of yourself and your own safety and that should be respected. And honestly, when you're dealing with someone who has addiction issues like this and you aren't a healthcare provider, there's only so much that you can do correct. And it sounds like you've done all that you can do. So don't maneuver with guilt, fear or anxiety when it comes to preserving and maintaining those boundaries because you deserve them. You don't deserve to be hurt by someone who it seems, has no intention of doing any better because no one is requiring her to do better. Maybe if you are an example of someone who, in the family at least, who is sick of her shit and shows it by not lending anything, not community any, not communicating anything and not attending anything, maybe something can spur a change and this individual, but even if it doesn't, that ain't your goddamn problem. Because you have your own life to live and you should not feel bad for living it. Serious, you did what she can. Then the person who can help her with her issues regarding alcohol and drugs or what have you are people who are doctors. And she has to get that help. You can't hit her over the head with a club and drag her down there. And even if you did, you can't guarantee she'll stay. It's not at work.
Crystal
So just ask everybody who's ever had court ordered therapy or been mandated into treatment. It 99% of the time they're gonna go right back to whatever the fuck they were doing. Cause it wasn't their choice to really go through the treatment and engage in the healing in the first place. So you cannot strong arm her into that and expect to see long lasting results. It has to be something she wants for herself. And it's hard to want that for yourself when you're surrounded by enablers who make you feel like you don't really have that big of a problem.
Kid Fury
Right.
Crystal
That's how you burn through 10 cars. She. So, yeah, definitely, you're going to need strong boundaries. And not just with her, but with the rest of your family. Cause they sound like a fucking mess, too.
Kid Fury
On car two or three, I would have been like.
Crystal
Y' all niggas don't see this?
Kid Fury
What the fuck is going on? She wrecked seven more. And they were like, you should let her borrow your car.
Crystal
Are you five years. You know, in 25 years, most people have one, maybe two cars. Ten. Bitch. Girl, girl, girl. You got a goddamn dealership over there. No, bitch, I'm not giving you my car. And anybody who got something to say about it can come talk to me directly. And I'll tell you you a stupid bitch to your face.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
Why am I give a bitch who don't know how to stay sober keys to a vehicle so I can be an accomplice to vehicular homicide? It's a matter of time.
Kid Fury
Why don't I also give Myers a knife?
Crystal
Why don't we just invite the Klan in when they knock on the door? Why don't we just let em in like so? No. These events where nobody knows what will trigger her. And then your family asks you to go get her. You see she wilding out. Go babysit her. This is the boundaries. The answer's no. I'm coming to hang out and have a good time. It's somebody else's turn to take care of that drunk high bitch. Y' all knew she was a drunk high bitch when you invited her. Yeah, it's. I'm not gonna be her designated caretaker every time we go some goddamn where. We finna pull names out of our hat or something, bitch. But it's not finna just be me.
Kid Fury
And I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this. Loved one. Family member. Even if I wanted to be the caregiver to that bitch. And I don't.
Crystal
And I do not.
Kid Fury
I don't. I don't.
Crystal
I do not. I don't.
Kid Fury
But if that was the dizzy Ass case. I still wouldn't even be able to properly give her care because I don't do that. She needs health care. So why is it that when we talk about that now, niggas have reservations? We have questions, we talk about medication, we have reservations, we talk about. About therapy. Don't want to go to the doctor, but you want to give. You want me to give my car to the addict that has blasted 10 of them into outer space?
Crystal
Yeah, and we'll just keep praying for her.
Kid Fury
Stop talking to me. I'm about to go make my plate. Don't say nothing else to me.
Crystal
Stop talking to me. Because even if I was, I could be a psychiatrist. You're my family member. I cannot treat you. You're my friend. I cannot treat you. I can be the mental health care expert. You're not my client. I have had to say this to family members who are like, oh, I don't need a therapist. I can talk to you and be a completely serious. Ha ha, hehe, hell, nigga, no, you cannot. No, because I'm not gonna talk to you. I will. I will go out of my way to not talk to you like a therapist so that you understand that that's not what the. This is. You need professional help. I am your cousin, your niece, your auntie, whatever. I'm not fucking doing that.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
If I'm the. If I'm the only bitch in this family that's gonna hold you to it, then let that you.
Kid Fury
Somebody gotta do what I got.
Crystal
Are you. Are you strong enough to stand alone? Cause it's hard to do. It's hard to do. Especially when you up against your whole fucking family. I get it. But can see, I'm so serious when I say this. It is a matter of time before this loved one seriously hurts or kills somebody else or herself.
Kid Fury
Truthfully. And watch the fingers get to pointing when that happens.
Crystal
Yeah. So I would continue to not talk to her. You said you haven't talked to her like you usually do for the past month. Keep doing that. If she asks, you can say, hey, I feel like this situation isn't healthy. I'm constantly being asked to sacrifice myself. I always have been. And I'm frankly tired of it. You keep doing the same shit over and over. I don't wanna be around it. We all going out again. It's boundaries. Because if you don't have boundaries, you will get burned out. You will get over it. Resentment will grow and fester. You have to have rules for how you engage with this person. Because this Close family member is sick, they're dealing with substance abuse issues. And so they. They will take everything that you let them take.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
And it doesn't have to be malicious. It doesn't have to be intentionally manipulative or anything like that. You don't have to know that. Yeah, but it is an illness. And so they need. They need. They need. They need so much. You might not even know what she needs. She probably don't even know what she needs, but she knows she needs. And so whoever's willing to let her drain that out of them, you will be drained. She's not going to stop because she's not capable of doing that. You have to be able to put the stops in place. Yes, yes, that is what boundaries are. Because other. Because otherwise you're going to end up depleted, empty, exhausted out of empathy. And now you, like, I don't give a fuck what happened to her. Let her die. Let them. Let her throw her. Let them throw her in the goddamn prison for all I care. Like, that's how you get to that point. You don't want to get to that point. You don't want to end up there.
Kid Fury
So true.
Crystal
So. Oh, girl, put yourself first. But honestly, the bigger problem might be the family members who are enabling this. Yeah, they really, really might be your bigger. Because it's one thing for you to be okay with it. To encourage me to give my almost paid off car.
Kid Fury
That is really insane. That is mind blowing.
Crystal
When new cars right now like KIAs are $27,000. This is not 2008 when you could get a brand new kia for. For $8,000. You want me to go if you don't get out. You can't even get a used car for less than $10,000. No more. Get on my face. Oh, okay.
Kid Fury
Yeah, I think, like, I agree with Chris and, and putting that space or choosing yourself, putting yourself first is actually gonna be more helpful to your cousin than you think it is.
Crystal
Yes, it is.
Kid Fury
Because it's actually what she needs.
Crystal
Yes. What she's used is to. She's used to people enabling her, being codependent, allowing her to get away with everything. You being the only bitch who was like, actually, the way you're acting is unacceptable.
Kid Fury
That's not how that works.
Crystal
And I'm not gonna tolerate it. You'd be shocked at the kind of impact that might have, but still hold strong to you because it's clear that nobody else in your family is gonna put you first. And honestly, we're adults. The harsh truth is that Nobody is supposed to put you first. You're not a child. And that is a luxury, a privilege afforded to children.
Kid Fury
Some of them.
Crystal
Children were supposed to be afforded to children because a lot of y' all have kids and like, I'm still first. No, bitch, you're. You're literally supposed to sacrifice your immediate wants or needs or whatever in order to care for your offspring. You're supposed to do that, Vernon, not quit your goddamn job to sell T shirts. Impedemont.
Kid Fury
Okay, Vernon tried it.
Crystal
He really did. I'm not over that. But yes, you're supposed. As adults, we are supposed to put ourselves first. It doesn't mean that we don't care for others. It actually means the opposite. When we prioritize our self care, when we really value and invest in our own happiness, health, growth, et cetera, we are able to be much better friends, partners, citizens, humans. So yeah, girl, don't. Don't let these people wear you out, I'm sure. Yes, indeed. Good luck, babes. Let us know how it goes. That's going to wrap up our letters this week. Again. If you have a question for us, send it to askthereadmail.com we'll be right back. Hey, y' all. This episode of the Read is brought to you by Squarespace. We love Squarespace over here at the Read. They are the number one all in one perfect platform to get your website off and running okay. They give you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. With Blueprint AI, Squarespace's AI Enhanced Website Builder, you can quickly create a personalized site that aligns with your brand and goals. Plus, Squarespace also streamlines your workflow with built in tools for appointment scheduling, email marketing, invoicing and seamless online payments to keep your business running smoothly and ensure you're paid on time. I do love Squarespace. We have been using Squarespace over here at the Read and for our own personal websites and different ventures for years and years now. Maybe almost 10 years. Because it is so easy to do. It's easy to sign up, easy to get a design together and easy to start making money and showing off what you offer through Squarespace and their incredible website design capabilities. So if you're ready to launch your site, head to squarespace.com the read to start your free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code the read to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's squarespace.com the re a d let them know Kiff here and Crystal sent you. Everybody sleeps, but no two people sleep alike. At Coop Sleep Goods, we celebrate the way you sleep differently. We believe everyone deserves a great night's sleep with their own pillow. And the adjustable, customizable coop pillow makes it easy. Whether you're a side sleeper, back sleeper, or even a starfish, we've got the perfect pillow for you. Crafted with our innovative memory foam and microfiber fill, our hypoallergenic pillows adjust to you, not the other way around. Just tailor the fill for the perfect fit. Add some in, take some out until your pillow's just right for you. See why luxury hotels and spas worldwide feature coop sleep goods? And why we have tens of thousands of 5 star reviews. With our 100 night risk free trial, you've got nothing to lose except those sleepless nights. Get 25 off your first order when you visit coopsleepgoods.com comedy that C-O-O-P sleepgoods.com comedy.
Kid Fury
We are back. It is time now for the read. I'll go first because I actually truly don't have anything. I'm really tired and I have two very small kind of jokes. One, I was playing hello Kitty Island Adventure and you know Pochacco the dog? Well, I think, yeah, his favorite thing is this energy drink. His favorite item. Because, you know, on Gemstone Mountain there's a machine where you can make sodas. And so I was like going around trying to make my items or whatever, just talking to myself and I'm like trying to get everybody's favorites. And I go to Pochacco and I'm like, what is it that you like again? Whatever. And I was like, oh yeah, I gotta go make the pop. And then I would. I said that out loud and I was like, did I just earnestly refer to soda as pop?
Crystal
Correct.
Kid Fury
They don't even call it pop in the game.
Crystal
Yes, they do. It's Pacheco's energy pop.
Kid Fury
Oh, is it?
Crystal
Oh, I don't know. I just said that.
Kid Fury
You just made that up. I think it's. It might be. I think it's.
Crystal
Oh, no, I just googled it. It is Pacheco Energy Pop. Pop supremacy. Pop is taking over. Next you'll be saying caramel like you supposed to.
Kid Fury
Well, I won't be doing that. But pop definitely got me. And I was just. It is pop fucking crystal. Oh, so that also the other one was the other Day, you said to me that the kids are lovingly and affectionately referring to one another as little shit. And I refuse to believe it because that is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my life. Oh, no, unfortunately, it's true. That's a real thing.
Crystal
I told you. I told you.
Kid Fury
I heard it. I heard it take place. I heard it happen. I heard it come out of a young person's mouth. And this was. These were gay girls talking too. To really. Oh, no, bring it closer to home. And one of them referred to somebody as a final shit. And I. I looked at the ceiling and I said, God, how much longer? How much longer until we're done? Until you wrap this all up? This puffy case is Stephen King book a day. Donald Trump is slowly destroying the world. Just. And. And now the kids are referring to each other as fine little shits. And I hate it. I hate it so much. I just like. I don't. What?
Crystal
I don't know either. I really do not get it. It do not make sense to me, but I don't.
Kid Fury
I don't get that little shit.
Crystal
Little shit.
Kid Fury
Oh, it's my little shit. Oh, she find little shit. A little what? A little shit.
Crystal
I was okay with type shit. Type shit makes sense.
Kid Fury
Type shit does make sense. That one doesn't like little shit.
Crystal
And fine shit is a mess. Little shit. This is what.
Kid Fury
That's what you say to like a kid, a bad child in the 90s.
Crystal
That's what I say to Lainey when we take on a walk. Oh, look at this little shit. Look at this little shit. You just shit out like it's a bad thing. It's gross, it's nasty, it's full of it's feces.
Kid Fury
Like, why people in the 90s and movies, when a kid was bad, just be like, no, listen here, you little shit. Oh yeah, I did. They did. But be like, oh, yeah, she'll find little shit. What? Okay, kids, but listen, we're the new ain't. We're the new ain't just your auntie talking and saying, I'm here still and I'm so sorry that this is the planet you have to live on and that all these old people have made it the way that it is. The little shit thing is concerning for me baddies. But I'm mostly gonna mind my business. I just wanted to tap in, say hello real quick and ask. And ask why? Why that? Why that one? Why that one thought took me forever. I still kind of did think. Thought is like just Ridiculous. That one really took me over the moon, especially when I realized it's an acronym and what it stands for. But little shit is just. It's just intergalactic. But that's where I'm at. I'm finished.
Crystal
I just. It reminds me of the 90s when all the ain't was like, you let that boy call you a bitch?
Kid Fury
Yeah, I think so. That's kind of what I thought.
Crystal
Yeah. His bitch. They were like, girl, no. Why you let that man call you a. It very much reminds me of that, where it's like, you let that nigga call you a fine little shit. And they're like, yeah, that's my man. Like, oh, okay. As an auntie, I'm perturbed.
Kid Fury
I kind of thought the same thing.
Crystal
But then I remember. Yeah. I remember when. Not even with. But when. Me and my friends in high school would call each other the older girls being like, y' all just say y' all call each other like. That's my. Oh, hey, this is that. Yeah. It's a time of endearment for us. We don't take it the way y' all take it.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
So the children have decided that fine little feces is a compliment.
Kid Fury
That's theirs. Yeah. And I'm like, okay.
Crystal
And I'm letting all the people born in 2005 have that. I'm not. I'm not like, y' all.
Kid Fury
Yeah. You got to be 20 years old.
Crystal
Like, the. I had my day.
Kid Fury
Yeah. I had mine.
Crystal
I had. And it was fun. Okay.
Kid Fury
It was a blast.
Crystal
When you were. When you were coming out your mama's vaginal canal. I was in the club, so I had great time. I had great time. This was before we was beating faces. Before, like, we just. You went in your. In your business casual. I was in the. I was in the club in platform heels and a pencil skirt and a blazer.
Kid Fury
Like, I heard the original freak a league did.
Crystal
Heard it in the club and turned up when I heard my name. So we are not the same. You can go ahead and have a little. That's not my generation. I'm not part of that.
Kid Fury
That's fine.
Crystal
And that's fine. Millennials got enough problems.
Kid Fury
I was just like, no, there's no way. She's just saying something.
Crystal
I. No. Why would I even do that?
Kid Fury
And it landed right in my face, and I was right in front of you. I can't believe this. But all right, young folks.
Crystal
It's what they're doing, and y' all got it. Okay. I, too, have Two quick things. First, a man by the name of Nick Clegg, who is a former UK Deputy Prime Minister, former Facebook executive, he is now president of this fucking. What is the name of this business that he runs? I don't, I don't remember. Oh, he's got a new book coming out and he is, you know, promoting it. He's talking about the AI industry. I think this business that he runs is one of the biggest producers of AI content, etc. And he said that the creative community, the people who actually make art and don't ask the computer to make it for them, the human beings, said that those people should have the right to opt out of having their work used to train AI models, but that it isn't feasible for these AI companies to go get permission before doing that. And straight up said that that is implausible because if you did it, you would basically kill the AI industry overnight.
Kid Fury
Okay.
Crystal
My nigga. It's almost like. It's almost like the AI industry should just die. If it can't sustain itself without stealing from creatives, does it deserve to exist? I would argue no.
Kid Fury
I would say no.
Crystal
Especially since I just read an article in Axios earlier today that said in one to five years, 20% of entry level gigs, entry level white collar jobs will be eliminated. Oh, no, I'm sorry, not 20%. Up to half. Oh, word. Could. Could wipe up white. Wipe out half of all entry level white collar jobs, which would spike unemployment to 10 to 20%. Again, that's in the next one to five years. If your business model is not sustainable without stealing, then I think maybe you just shouldn't be in business.
Kid Fury
Well, when you're a part of a long line of inbred people who have made most of their power, money and influence off of theft. Theft of bodies, autonomy, labor, money. Yeah, I guess you'd be like, hey, what's the problem with AI? Stealing makes me money.
Crystal
Yeah, it's almost like y' all don't understand that money isn't more important than people. And a handful of you at the top may be getting richer and richer, but if unemployment gets to 20% in the UK or the US, et cetera, do you understand these civilizations can just collapse. You're already squeezing the hell out of the bottom 30%. You always have been. Things are much worse, tighter now. Even though the president in the United States campaigned on the idea that prices would be lower and things would be cheaper if he got into office. And the exec opposite has happened.
Kid Fury
Stupid.
Crystal
There's already that and now you're coming after the middle class or aspiring middle class, even if you're not doing it intentionally. This idea that entry level white collar jobs, the. The jobs that people get fresh out of undergrad.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
There's a such thing as being too greedy, wanting too much. If you already have six yachts parked somewhere, I think you can afford to go ahead and pay your employees a living wage.
Kid Fury
It's just.
Crystal
You have enough.
Kid Fury
I can't take it. Crystal.
Crystal
Y' all really think y' all can squeeze the fuck out of the entire population in. In the name of getting richer? Bitch. What does that gonna matter when people are hungry and rioting in the streets? What the fuck difference is it gonna make then?
Kid Fury
An airbrushing images with you in a noose all across the city, bitch.
Crystal
ChatGPT put Russell Wilson in a patriot's hat and then put him in a pool of lava with dicks swimming in it. This is what y' all are burning up the planet to do. This is what y' all are doing. Perhaps the industry should just die.
Kid Fury
AI should be like, hey, chat GPZ. Is it Valentine's or Valentine?
Crystal
Chad. GPT will get that wrong.
Kid Fury
That's good. ChatGPT would be like, well, technically it depends on the time of year and the space in which you are in on a V. E. And Right, Right.
Crystal
You can train your AI to talk black. That very much disturbed me when I heard it. But all right.
Kid Fury
You can also train your AI to speak in a Jamaican accent, to speak patois. And it's not bad. I hate it.
Crystal
Yeah, yeah. Because again, because they're being trained. They're being. They're being trained, like this man said, off of vast amounts of data. And if they actually had to get permission from all of us for first, the industry wouldn't exist. Hmm. I mean, to me, that's an excellent reason to simply not do it no more. But I know that I'm different than y' all. Like, as for me, I do believe that there is a certain amount of money that is enough. And I don't need to be the richest bitch on earth. I don't need to be rubbing elbows with billionaires. I don't need to have the most exclusive Moon Star fruit shakes and whatever other rich bullshit y' all are doing. See, like I don't. Y' all won't be happy until you have all the money in the world. And it still don't matter because people are busting through the gates, tearing your homes down and killing you and everybody you love.
Kid Fury
Because they're nobody done it.
Crystal
Because their children are dying because you are the CEO of a health insurance company and denied their child's life saving procedure and their baby died.
Kid Fury
Maybe you've been at like, you know, luxury personal clubs, country clubs or that type of thing for so long that you forget what planet you are on or you forget that yes, human beings are human and many of them are in dire circumstances. Many of them have family, families to take care of and are willing to do extreme things when they're back against the wall to take care of themselves and their family. So if you think that those millions upon millions of people are like, you are just going to let you kiki haha and cavort on your atheat because you wanted to put them out of work, God bless.
Crystal
Right? Right. We, we cannot see levels of unemployment like that and expect life to go on.
Kid Fury
It just won't.
Crystal
It just won't. It just won't. So I guess I hope y' all are ready for the reckoning. But this is insane. This is. If that projection is real and that many jobs get lost over the next.
Kid Fury
Few, few years, it's not unsurprising, but it's. It's a lot. It's a lot.
Crystal
I'll never forget one time I asked Google, I literally googled what day is today? And Google said, today's Thursday. And it was actually Wednesday. The little AI summary was like, today is Thursday, you know, April 8th or whatever. And I was like, really? Thursday? Like, I'm tripping. Finally went through the effort of like pulling up a calendar. Bitch, it is fully Wednesday. Like it's like that. And y' all are depending on this. Like, okay, it's bad. It's bad and getting worse. Okay? And to finish things off this week, I'm going to pass my read. This one came in from someone who wants to be identified as a over the shenanigans. And they write, it is pride season again. So here's the annual reminder. Black Queer Pride promoters stop booking homophobic and transphobic artists to perform at Black Pride events. Yes, I'm talking about you, Darrell Wilson Promotions, who in the year of our Lord Jesus Christ 20:25, needed to hear Kaia perform My Neck, My back at a D.C. black Pride event celebration, or any celebration for that fucking matter. There is nothing fun or liberating about Kaia. She is a trollop and an unapologetic homophobe. But we all been knew that she spent her time attacking TS Madison's identity in a place that's Supposed to be safe for black queer folks. Let's not also forget the countless things she has said about black gay men or people living with hiv. Correct. Y' all have got to be better. I know it's hard to resist the urge to be a pick me for black CIS het has beens. But I promise you that throwing your community under the bus for one day of validation and a photo op is not worth it. They do not care about us beyond getting a check. And I'm also looking at you, young Miami. Well, Pride, especially Black Prides, are supposed to be safe spaces for us to be ourselves and relish in the joy of being exactly who we were designed to be. In 2025, with all of the political attacks against black queer folks, especially trans people, how dare, dare y' all continue to invite these enemies into our spaces. Also, in catering to these hasbins, you overlook so many talented black LGBTQ artists who could use the exposure and who could add to the authenticity of the space.
Kid Fury
Damn.
Crystal
Kaia and other entertainers like her do not give one fuck about black queer people. I'm not asking. I'm telling y' all to do better and stop selling us out. Signed a bitch over the shenanigans. God damn it. And they signed. Said. What the. They said, I'm sorry.
Kid Fury
That's. That's true. I. Y' all booked. I've never understood why promoters do that sometimes, but Kaya, bro, first of all, I'm sure she was affordable, but had been.
Crystal
That ain't. That's not the point.
Kid Fury
She's a terrible person. Yeah, but specifically to gay people, to trans people. She's like, openly. I don't.
Crystal
Oh, yeah. Wretched, Wretched.
Kid Fury
Furthermore, I'm from Florida, and I still don't give a. To hear that. Perform a goddamn thing live. They played K Wang in the club somewhere. I was like, I don't know, a couple months ago, and I was like, oh, I heard this in a while, and it brought back, like, fond memories, but that's about it. If she was performing, I could laugh, right?
Crystal
Because I don't support this bitch. I'm booing. I'm finna. We all finna be uncomfortable because I don't like this. Why the fuck would you book a transphobic bitch to perform at Black Pride?
Kid Fury
Why are you even here?
Crystal
We know why she's here. She's here for the check. Why did you n invite her? Why did you niggas invite her? Why is she. Who even thought Kya's the bitch to come entertain the girls? This June. What a horrible idea.
Kid Fury
My thing too is that, like, for me, Pride doesn't have to have celebrity.
Crystal
Guest performances at all.
Kid Fury
Like, it doesn't have to have.
Crystal
I don't need it.
Kid Fury
OJ Heads performing. Oh, we're gonna bring out Ciara. Oh, we're gonna bring out Megan. Thee Stallion. Like, all that shit is cool for sure, but to me, it's never been necessary. And it feels like sometimes, and because it happens so frequently, it's almost like they have to find somebody. And so sometimes you would guess that fall flat or worse shouldn't be booked at all because they're homophobic or they're transphobic. Like, but the. This person who wrote this letter actually made an excellent point, which is book the girls like you, right?
Crystal
The D.C. area don't have no black queer artists.
Kid Fury
Of course they do.
Crystal
Of course they do. And if you need a headliner so bad, you need a FA bitch. If you don't call Deborah Cox and get the fuck on. Like, right? If you don't bring Deborah Cox out here to do all her gay mixes.
Kid Fury
Is Tamia Bisley or.
Crystal
Like, this evil bitch. This. You pick the worst bitches.
Kid Fury
She's really something. Yeah.
Crystal
Fuck out of here.
Kid Fury
She was so, so, so bitter that it took T.S. madison and a trans woman specifically to get her little blog ass, fake ass, wack ass, pop ass voice heard.
Crystal
Because we did not care.
Kid Fury
So bitter that that woman outshone you all the time, that she helped rein you in, that she helped you gain some sort of business acumen when it came to being an actual personality, that she then went on to go and do things on her own while still being a part of your show and not being shady about it. You were so bent out of shape about the fact that this trans woman was way more sickening to you, way more talented than you, funnier than you, prettier than you, and now far, far, far more successful than you. And you can see.
Crystal
You can see, you can, you should.
Kid Fury
Cause you will forever be an angry, broke, rotten mouth bitch who can't go back to where she from. Cause don't nobody like you there.
Crystal
You were famous for how many years before Madison. And this girl just came right in being herself, being smarter than you, more resourceful than you, probably a better hustler than you, simply wanting it more than you do and outshone you and moved on to bigger and better things. And you crashed out. And I mean, and you were. It was suspect. Even when y' all was working together, she would say stuff. I'm like, don't like that. But, you know, who am I to speak over Madison? You know, she right there and she's. She can obviously take care of herself. But, yeah, it's pride at this point. It's pride. Stop booking people who hate us to come entertain us. Because when I tell you I won't be there, I will not be there. At least I would rather you book black gay people I've never heard of.
Kid Fury
One billion percent, One billion percent.
Crystal
Because first of all, what if they. Fine, I deserve to look at them. Secondly, get your little talented black ass up here and strum that guitar or play that keyboard, whatever it is you do. Come on over here and give us a show. I would much rather give my money to another black queer person. Bitch. What if I actually end up loving the music? I go follow you, I download all your albums. I'm huge. Now we buying tickets to your show. Like, hello, hello. You could actually, like this person said, be doing something for the community. Why else do we have a Black Pride? We can go to White Pride. If we want to deal with bigoted dumbass assholes, we want to deal with White Pride.
Kid Fury
Wouldn't even do that, though.
Crystal
White Pride wouldn't book no transphobe. No. No, they would not. No, they not playing that. It's you.
Kid Fury
So, like, what is he giving you?
Crystal
Think we just love anybody black? We don't.
Kid Fury
We don't.
Crystal
Did Kaya sell tickets? Did more people come because Kaia was coming? Now, if anybody is self hating, it is black gays. So a lot of y' all probably did sign up to know a lot of us.
Kid Fury
A lot of the girls like Kya because she's transphobic. No shade.
Crystal
They agree with her. They fully agree with her. They even like the homophobia because there's a part of them that hates themselves.
Kid Fury
No. 1000%. But why are you at Pride?
Crystal
And you internalized all that to find somebody to fuck tonight?
Kid Fury
Stupid.
Crystal
Or in five minutes in the bathroom, you stupid.
Kid Fury
That bitch definitely stupid. And both y' all hoes need to go home.
Crystal
Oh, so. So thank you, bitch. Who's over it for sending in that past the read. If you have one, you can send it on over to us to really either email address, but that's past the read at gmail dot com. Yeah. And that'll wrap up this week's episode of the show. Thanks for checking us out. We're on social media at. This is the Read. Our website is. This is the read.com. any other news or announcements from you this week?
Kid Fury
No other news. I just wanted to say once again to Santino Cassio, the man who stabbed Corey Lanez.
Crystal
A. King.
Kid Fury
We're thinking of you in this time.
Crystal
Listen.
Kid Fury
And the rest of the time that you have in the present, which is all of it.
Crystal
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Take care of yourself, brother. And to the rest of you as well. We'll see y' all next week.
Podcast Summary: The Read – Episode "There's Money In The T-Shirt Stand" (May 29, 2025)
Hosted by Kid Fury and Crystal (Crissle) from the Loud Speakers Network, "The Read" delivers sharp, humorous, and candid discussions on hip-hop and pop culture. In this episode titled "There's Money In The T-Shirt Stand," the hosts delve into topics ranging from recent achievements in reality TV, the struggles of black-owned businesses, high-profile legal cases, listener relationship dilemmas, and pressing social issues.
[02:01] Kid Fury introduces Jamal Roberts as the first black man to win "American Idol" in over two decades, highlighting the significance of his achievement compared to previous winners like Reuben [02:15].
Kid Fury: "Jamal Roberts is the first black man to win American Idol in over 20 earth years."
[02:32] Crystal and [02:46] Kid Fury discuss the disparity in recognition, referencing past winners who may not have received the acclaim they deserved due to racial biases.
Crystal: "There hasn't been a legit star to come out of American Idol probably since Fantasia."
The hosts express optimism for Jamal Roberts' blossoming career, hoping he attains the success levels of past winners like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.
Transitioning from television success, [05:49] Kid Fury congratulates Capital City Mumbo Sauce, a black-owned condiment company from the DMV area, now available in Costco stores.
Kid Fury: "Founder Arsha Jones says we're incredibly grateful to continue partnering with Costco locations in the D.C. metro area."
[06:16] Crystal shares her enthusiasm for the product, emphasizing its unique place in the market.
Crystal: "They might be the only brand of mambo sauce... Capital City came right up like, yeah, bitch, don't look nowhere else."
a. Chris Brown's Legal Troubles
[07:20] Kid Fury opens the "Hot Vodka" segment by discussing Chris Brown's release on a $6.7 million bail following charges of causing grievous bodily harm.
Kid Fury: "Former superhero Chris Brown has been released on a $6.7 million bail."
[09:02] Crystal criticizes the leniency shown towards Brown, expressing frustration over celebrities evading accountability.
Crystal: "I'm actually real tired of niggas getting away with shit. Real tired of that."
[10:30] Kid Fury and [11:04] Crystal debate the public's continued support for Brown despite his criminal actions, questioning the societal fascination with flawed celebrities.
b. Kid Cudi and Sean Combs Trial
The discussion shifts to Kid Cudi's involvement in Sean Combs' (P. Diddy) trial, where Cudi testified about alleged aggressive encounters.
Kid Fury: "Kid Cudi claims that Puffy broke into his home in 2011 after finding out that he was dating Cassie."
[14:03] Crystal shares incredulity over the extent of P. Diddy's alleged misconduct, including arson and violent threats.
Crystal: "Like, you can't just take people from their homes and lives and families until you're done."
Both hosts critique the legal system's handling of powerful men, advocating for stricter consequences to prevent a culture of impunity.
c. Santino Cassio Stabbing Tory Lanez
[36:34] Kid Fury reports on Santino Cassio's admission to stabbing Tory Lanez, framing it as an act of self-defense against perceived threats.
Kid Fury: "Santino Cassio says he was simply acting in self-defense."
[39:17] Crystal and [40:00] Kid Fury vehemently oppose Cassio's actions, emphasizing the severity of the crime regardless of the motive.
Crystal: "He's already murdered somebody. He knows how to do it."
a. Shannon's Dilemma with Vernon and Kay
[68:44] Crystal reads a letter from Shannon, a 28-year-old woman grappling with friends Vernon and Kay. Vernon’s erratic behavior—starting an unfulfilling T-shirt business, sending inappropriate photos, and neglecting responsibilities—has strained their friendship.
Shannon seeks advice on how to address Vernon's misconduct without concrete evidence, reflecting on the impact on Kay and their family.
Crystal: "Do not fuck with Vernon at all."
Kid Fury and Crystal provide guidance, advocating for setting firm boundaries and prioritizing personal well-being over enabling toxic behaviors.
Kid Fury: "I absolutely would do nothing of the sort. And I would place very firm and assertive boundaries between myself and this particular cousin."
b. Lavalier's Struggle with a Family Member's Substance Abuse
Another letter from Lavalier discusses dealing with a close family member's long-term drug and alcohol abuse, leading to aggressive and unsafe behaviors, including multiple car wrecks.
Crystal: "You have to have rules for how you engage with this person."
The hosts emphasize the importance of maintaining boundaries and seeking professional help, underscoring that enabling harmful behaviors only perpetuates the problem.
Kid Fury: "She needs health care. So why is it that when we talk about that now, niggas have reservations?"
a. Black Pride Event Critique
[121:03] Crystal voices strong disapproval of promoters booking homophobic and transphobic artists for Black Pride events, specifically targeting Darrell Wilson Promotions for including controversial figures like Kaia.
Crystal: "Black Queer Pride promoters stop booking homophobic and transphobic artists to perform at Black Pride events."
The hosts advocate for authentic representation, urging promoters to prioritize talented black LGBTQ+ artists who genuinely support the community.
Kid Fury: "Book the girls like you, right?"
b. AI Industry Ethics
Later in the episode, [124:00] Crystal discusses Nick Clegg's stance on AI, highlighting the ethical dilemma of using creatives' work to train AI models without consent.
Crystal: "If you did it, you would basically kill the AI industry overnight."
Both hosts express skepticism towards the AI industry's sustainability without ethical practices, questioning whether such businesses deserve to thrive.
Kid Fury: "I would say no."
The episode concludes with light-hearted exchanges and reflections on generational differences in language and cultural references, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and critical discourse.
Crystal: "We are not the same. You can go ahead and have a little."
Notable Quotes:
Kid Fury [02:01]: "Jamal Roberts is the first black man to win American Idol in over 20 earth years."
Crystal [05:49]: "Capital City came right up like, yeah, bitch, don't look nowhere else."
Kid Fury [07:20]: "Former superhero Chris Brown has been released on a $6.7 million bail."
Crystal [36:47]: "That's what Puffy is doing... So, yeah, that's pride at this point."
Conclusion:
In "There's Money In The T-Shirt Stand," Kid Fury and Crystal tackle a myriad of topics that reflect the complexities of fame, accountability, personal relationships, and social responsibility. Their candid conversations not only entertain but also provoke thoughtful consideration of the issues impacting the black community and the broader societal landscape.
For more insights and weekly discussions on the hottest topics in hip-hop and pop culture, tune into "The Read" available on iTunes, iHeart Radio Talk, Soundcloud, and Stitcher.