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Kid Fury
Meat Song. His fantasy lineup not so great. A no name QB and an injured rookie running back. But you know what is great? Getting a single line unlimited plan for $35 a month and a free Samsung Galaxy A15.5G at Cricket Wireless. No injuries, just reliable service. Cricket may temporarily slow data speeds if the network is busy. Must bring your number to Cricket on select unlimited plan. Pay $40 first month new lines only. First month service charge and tax due at sale. Cricket 5G is not available everywhere. Fees, terms and restrictions apply. See cricketwireless.com for details. TIS the season of gifting and holes to deck and the who's in who Louville were in love with new tech. Where can we find Sonos and Samsung and Nintendo? They shouted. Would they find it in one place? This they questioned and doubted when suddenly a who yelled, walmart's the place to start. And each who added headphones, TVs and games to their carts. With Walmart, their shopping was done in a flurry. They cried out, who knew? And ordered their gifts in a hurry. Shop the latest tech gifts in the Walmart app.
Crystal
Happy.
Kid Fury
Welcome back everyone. I am a drill rapper from upstate New York, but I claim the city because it's better for marketing.
Crystal
And I am Asia Wilson and this is the Read. Thank you for coming back.
Kid Fury
It is happy December, girlies. It's the holiday season. Christmas time is here. Mariah Carey, and.
We'Re happy to hear from you. See you and things of that nature. Hope you're happy to be alive. Hope you're feeling in the Christmas spirit.
And I hope that you are having a white Christmas in terms of snow and.
Serenity and peace and a black Christmas in terms of everything else. Now let's move on.
To this week's festivities. How's New York?
Crystal
Freezing fucking cold. Thank you so much. Windchill got down to like 11 degrees the other day. Lainey was irate.
Kid Fury
That's inhuman. Yeah, yeah.
Crystal
Who would be? She's pretty pissed off because she has to put on her big coat.
Kid Fury
She's like, I have her right?
Crystal
And it's not enough so your little eight pound ass has to put a real coat on. So she's pretty ticked off. But you know, it's also like, yeah, it's December in New York. It's supposed to be cold. As much as I Wish it was 70 degrees, it shouldn't be.
Right? And I went, oh my God. I went up to Times Square, Herald Square, you know, that whole area of the city.
Kid Fury
God bless you.
Crystal
It's hell on a regular day the holidays. Oh my God. I.
Kid Fury
Everyone, shoulder to shoulder traffic.
Crystal
It was so bad. But instead of being, you know, my New Yorker irritated self, I decided to.
Kid Fury
Like, try to lean into it.
Crystal
Just try to see the city through a tourist size. You know, some people save up and this is like they vacation of the year to come see something where I'm like, ugh, GROSS.
Kid Fury
Pretty much 80% of the people out there at the time. But then it's like you've lived there for so long, the novelty wears off. You kind of have to be like, oh, this is an incredibly magical.
Crystal
And it really.
Kid Fury
There's a reason people rush out and see it.
Crystal
Yes. And me being annoyed at something where I'm a 30 minute ride on the train away from like all this stuff people like. So I tried to look at it like that. The decorations, the lights, all that. It really is very festive. They had carolers and at first I was like, oh, bum humbug. Like I literally said that out loud.
Kid Fury
Then I was like, you gotta choose though.
The good ones.
Crystal
Yeah, they could really sing.
Kid Fury
There were quite a few. They go off.
Crystal
Yeah. So I say, you know, just lean into the. You're the one came to 34th street on December 9th.
Kid Fury
You know the recipe. So you had a taste for exactly.
Crystal
What you was doing. Well, I was actually going to go see my billboard in Times Square, shout out to Patreon for throwing me up on a billboard. So that was, you know, I was there. We met at 4 o' clock to take the pictures. I was gone at 4:05. One thing about me, I do not linger in tourist heavy areas. But so I was walking down the 34th to go to this Apple event and yeah, the annoyance was shooting up through the roof and I said, why don't you just try to take in all of this, you know, Like I can remember my first time seeing Times Square and being like, it's real, you know, like, oh my God, you see it in movies and stuff. And so I tried to look at it like that. I got some mulled wine that helped. I cannot lie, mold. Yes. Mulled wine. Mm. So, yeah, you know, I'm just trying to keep Lainey covered and protected. Honestly, her snow suit and her snow boots are coming today.
Kid Fury
Cause the first time Link's paw touched ice, I'll never forget it. Yeah, she looked up at me and was like, I don't know what the fuck is going on out here.
Crystal
Fix it.
Kid Fury
But I don't want any further parting. Yeah, I'll be going inside now. Thank you. I was like a dog after my own. Right?
Crystal
See? And now she gets to live in la, where you don't have. You literally do not have to worry about snow. Does it ever snow?
Kid Fury
She cannonballs out of the.
Crystal
In la, right? Y' all are in. I hate people in la.
Kid Fury
It rains, right?
Crystal
Y' all are over posting your fucking pictures like, oh, it's such a balmy day.
Kid Fury
Fuck.
Crystal
Go fuck yourselves. Okay.
Kid Fury
When it rains here, they love it.
Crystal
Oh, they do. They go outside, like, oh, wow, thank you.
Kid Fury
No, but they're just like, oh, I just want to, like, curl up on the couch and have fun. It's cozy. It's cozy for me, being from, like, a place where it's hurricane season 300 days a year. I'm like, cozy about this. Could do without.
But then, I mean, girl, they literally need it. It's like, you can catch fire on her.
Crystal
So y' all be like, yeah, actually go on and rain for a few days, actually, while you at it.
Kid Fury
Yeah, if you could, that would be great. That'd be super good. All right, well, let's get into some black excellence this week, starting with one Master P. I'm giving Master P Black excellence this week because he has been partnering with a group called Make Good Knowya to.
Highlight an initiative of theirs where they've been, like, 3D printing mobility chairs for kids.
You have to see it. You can go to their Instagram, Make Good N O L A to see them. They're. They're. It's like Fisher Price founded, like, these. These chairs are so cute. They're so colorful. The shape of them is really, really nice. Like, I could see any child, toddler, baby, being like, oh, my God, I just want to be in the chair.
Crystal
Right? And where is my child?
Kid Fury
Have you seen? Right. Oh, my goodness. So you sent a mat to eat your dinner, Mommy Poor. It's really cute. It's really cute. And so Masterpiece partnered with them. I think they're doing, like, a series where they're interested in bringing in familiar faces, influential people and stuff like that after this to kind of keep bringing eyes and maybe donations to the initiative. But he says Masterpiece says that he wanted to work with him because he has a nephew.
Who, you know, deals with a disability. And so he's all about helping him in any way that he can. And one of the first clips I saw was Master P with this chair I, like, finished. And he goes, now this right here really made me want to say. And I was like, oh, it's happened.
Crystal
I knew it.
Kid Fury
No, it had been happened. But, like, here it is, you know? Ugh, Grandunk, like.
That'S how old we are. It was so heartwarming because, like, my masterpiece from when I was a kid would have, like, cringed if someone else would have said this. Suggest he say this.
Crystal
Yeah.
Kid Fury
It would have been like, yuck. It just happens to you.
Crystal
Yep.
Kid Fury
And there's a piece to that.
Crystal
And you. You get to a point where you're like, I actually, I am accepting Auntie. I'm embracing unknown. I'm just there.
Kid Fury
Like, it's just happening.
Crystal
I'm just old in. In a. In a pop culture sense, I don't feel old. But as far as, like, what is trending and new and on top, you know, finger on the pulse and all that, baby, I've aged out of it. I had my day and I had fun, but it's the. It's Jena's turn. It's Jena's turn.
Kid Fury
And you. You know how to use TikTok.
Crystal
And I do imagine how I feel. I adore TikTok, my number one app.
Kid Fury
But I also embrace it. It's giving just like there is a. A piece in just the biological.
Crystal
Yep.
Kid Fury
You are going to get older. You're going to say wacky things. People are going to think it's cute. Your joints are going to predict the weight.
Crystal
Oh, my God, please. I woke up today, my left knee was so tight. I'm like, please. And then I checked the calendar. It's been a rain.
Kid Fury
A mess. Like, I don't.
Crystal
Oh, this is arthritis. This is the reality of arthritis. Okay.
Kid Fury
I know it's old.
Crystal
That's what it is. And that's fine.
Kid Fury
Again, you can go to their Instagram to see more of this stuff and how they put it together and how cute these chairs are. Shout out to Master for bringing my eyes and ears to it. He's also quite busy being a basketball coach at Uno, I think, for the private part. Privateers. Is that their name? Yeah. You over there coaching the basketball?
Crystal
Yeah. Wasn't he a coach when Romeo was playing? I think so. Right? I think I remember that. So that makes sense.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
Okay. Good for him.
Kid Fury
Yeah. It looks like he's still over there. Yeah. I knew that he had been.
Like, coaching and sports and stuff like that for a while, so I wasn't surprised by that. But I also know Master B to be pretty involved with the community. Like, it has been, I think, since he became rich. So here he is in his spectacles and, you know, just being older and putting his money in time. Where his mouth is. Go show them some love.
Follow, donate, Hug a baby, kiss a puppy, all of it. Let's move into our pop culture segment that we call hot tops. We're talking about anything and everything.
In the world of toppings. Toppings, pizza.
So the Met Gala for 2026 will be taking place in May. Monday, May 4, to be specific, as it is usually the first Monday of May. 1 Beyonce Knowles, female pop vocalist, will be.
A co chair for the Met Gala next year alongside.
Venus Williams and Nicole Kidman and Venus Williams and Anna Wintour and Venus Williams and Beyonce. They will be co chairing the Met Gala next year. I think the famous costumer.
Crystal
Yeah, that's what it says.
Kid Fury
Yeah. They didn't say what the dress code is specifically, but they have said on the hosting committee there is one Sabrina Carpenter. Doja Cat, Gwendoline Christie.
Crystal
Oh, yes.
Kid Fury
Game of Thrones and Wednesday.
I love me some Gwendolyn Christie.
Crystal
Yeah, me too. The big woman.
Kid Fury
The what?
Crystal
A giant woman. All I want to do. See you turn.
Kid Fury
I started Stephen over.
Crystal
I was just so. I've never seen Adventure Time. I'm like, oh, wow, that's my bed. And I still haven't. But Rebecca Sugar did a song that she wrote for Adventure Time and she just performed it on her TikTok or whatever. It's the shortest fucking song. It's like 30 seconds. It's not on any streaming services. I'm obsessed with it. I cannot get enough of it.
Kid Fury
She's so.
Crystal
I just am. Well, yeah, I. I'm not sure actually which all pronouns, but yes, Rebecca Sugar is really one of one. Absolutely obsessed with that person. So of course you restart. I just rewatched Steven. Was that earlier this year? I just rewatched Steven Universe. It is.
Kid Fury
I think they have a show coming to Adult Swim now too.
Crystal
Oh, really?
Kid Fury
Yeah. Cause I just saw a post for it like 2 days ago on Rebecca's.
Crystal
Oh, okay.
Kid Fury
It was like.
I think it's called the Elephant. It looks very wacky. And being on Adult Swim, I assume that it's a little.
Crystal
Right.
Kid Fury
So.
I'm interested to see what that is. Is going to be giving.
Now that you mentioned what's it called? Adventure Time. You know, there's a spin off for it now that I think airs on HBO Max and maybe it's also on Cartoon Network, but it's called Cake and.
Crystal
Oh, yes, Cake and Tyrone or something. What is it?
Kid Fury
Tyrone? No, their names in Adventure Time are Finn and Jake. So this is a. It's like Cake and Lynn.
Fiona.
Crystal
Not Tyrone. That was my bed.
Kid Fury
Close enough. Fiona and Cake. And so it's like a different. Like, Jake is a chick or something. I don't know. But I saw a clip of it on Twitter, and I don't know, someone is arguing about Zoophilia being in a children's show because there's, like, this anthropomorphic cat that kisses, like, a human guy on the cheek, and then he's just kind of like, okay, well, I mean, kind of like, these are cartoons. I'm like, I feel like this.
Crystal
We can't. Is everybody being serious right now?
Kid Fury
Like, y' all would have never survived the 90s.
Crystal
Unless you're just playing the 90s. Would have beat your asses, but y' all could not have taken it. Who cares?
Kid Fury
My Bugs Bunny carried a revolver.
Crystal
I would hate to introduce you.
Kid Fury
A double barreled straw guy. I don't know. Cow and chicken.
Crystal
Come on.
Kid Fury
Just please be for real.
Bitch. Like, my God, let's be for, like.
Crystal
Not that deep, bro.
Kid Fury
Well, I might need to watch Daria from the top too.
Crystal
Another classic.
Kid Fury
God, that show is so fucking funny. Okay, all of that from Gwendolyn Christie. Thanks. This Alex Khonsani, Misty Copeland, uh, Sam Smith, Teyana Taylor. Asia Wilson is also on the host committee.
Crystal
I'm on the host committee. Amazing. Ah, I can't wait to do this. Whatever that means.
Kid Fury
So it looks like we have something to keep our eyes on. I didn't realize it's been a decade since she been to the Met Gala.
Crystal
Beyonce. Oh.
Kid Fury
Variety said she ain't got time for all that. Her last appearance was a decade ago.
Crystal
Yeah.
Kid Fury
Oh, my God, yeah.
Crystal
So this would be how you get her back. I'm like, why don't you just help? Oh, right. Because you know it is going to gag. And I can't even imagine costume art. I mean, always every year, people, you know, have their own interpretation of whatever the theme is, but Beyonce so rarely misses. Why would you say that to me?
Why would you say that to me?
Kid Fury
What is blue gonna wear?
Crystal
I almost forgot about the princess of hip hop and R and B. I almost forgot about.
Almost forgot about the heir to the throne. What is that diva going to wear? She in the lab right now doing sketches. Let's get started.
Kid Fury
Chop, chop, Prep your oxygen.
Crystal
We're already two weeks behind schedule.
Oh, I love it.
Kid Fury
The pieces are getting flown in.
Monica and Brandi are still touring. Another hilarious clip recently was Monica and Brandi standing side by side holding hands, I think, closing out.
A show. Where was this?
In Atlanta? And.
Right before they get ready to wrap up, Monica says, before we finish, I just want to take Ray J. Phone. Did you see this?
Crystal
Yes.
Kid Fury
So funny.
Crystal
I just want to take Ray J. Phone.
Kid Fury
Ray J. Where is Ray J? Ray J, Give me your phone. Let me have your phone. Thank you so much. Everybody give a round of applause for Ray J. Because he's not just Brandi's brother, he's my brother too. But I'm going to hold on for that.
Crystal
And so as a sister, I'm going to. I'm going to take that phone because you play too damn much.
Kid Fury
I'm the. I'm the one that's.
Crystal
And we all just want you to. Shh. You just need to shush.
Kid Fury
Just stop.
Crystal
Stop talking. Don't go live no more.
Kid Fury
No stream. No. No stream. No, no, no.
Brandy's just kind of laughed it off. It looked like it was like, you know, whatever. But I'm sure Brandy was also like.
Crystal
Finally I got some backup. It's not just me trying to corral this rowdy. He don't know how to act.
Kid Fury
Maybe if she say it. Cuz he know she'll fight.
Crystal
Right? He know me too well. That's Gunica.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
Give her your fucking Monica.
Kid Fury
No. She's behaving horribly. Monica. Every time someone uses that clip, I am crying. It's so good. Not only is it good, but when you use it as a quote.
Crystal
Yeah.
Kid Fury
Unlike threads anywhere. She's looking down, so there's a picture of Monica and she's actually looking at her saying it. Just Chef's kiss. The first person who used it. It's been used a couple times though. The first person who used it. And you know who you are, you have a special place in heaven. At least like you can appeal, you know, when you get up there. Because, wow, that tweet changed lives.
Crystal
It's something important for pop culture in that moment.
Kid Fury
Meanwhile, Ray J apparently owes American Express Six figures. They're suing him for $139,849.85 cents, saying that he hasn't paid. Made payments on his card since May.
Crystal
Oh, my God. Since May?
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
You gotta throw them a little something, Ray J, Come on. It's called a minimum payment.
Kid Fury
That's what I'm saying.
Crystal
Every month you gotta just throw them a couple thousands. You gotta give them something. You can't just not pay it.
Kid Fury
I'm like, average are coined up.
Crystal
I wouldn't think one like those fake.
Kid Fury
Impenetrable glasses and the squee bike probably. But The Raycon. I felt like he coined. He got coined up off there. He should have this.
Crystal
I would not have thought that $139,000 balance would be a challenge for Ray J. Like, even if you can't pay it all off right now, I definitely would have thought you had something to put on it. What I don't understand is not paying it at all. That's what.
Kid Fury
Yeah, I don't believe it's a. Not paying it.
Crystal
Well, then why would they be suing? Because they don't sue.
Kid Fury
I mean, like, not paying it. I mean, I don't believe it's. Not having it.
Crystal
Okay, so then why would you not make the payments?
Kid Fury
Too busy posting videos for Beyonce? Too busy running back and forth to zoos? Too busy starting your own Zeus? Too busy threatening your baby mama.
Streaming. She's not staying focused. I mean, on your responsibilities as a grownup.
Crystal
Valid. But I would think, you know, they send emails. They mail you things. They. When you try to use the car and it don't work, I would think all of a sudden this would, you know, you would just take a few minutes. It literally takes less than two minutes. Log in and make a payment. Yeah.
Kid Fury
Cause it looks like they filed this lawsuit, like, about three weeks ago.
Crystal
Damn. They not playing with you.
Kid Fury
So since May, they're gonna. You get in contact.
Crystal
So. Yeah. And the six months is up. Where is our goddamn money?
Kid Fury
Oh, hey, girl. So we're done reminding.
Crystal
Yeah, yeah. Why aren't you making the minimum payment due? That's what I don't understand. Cause even on a balance of 139, I have to imagine the minimum payment can't be more than a few thousand.
Kid Fury
That's what I'm saying.
Crystal
Like, the bare minimum, where we still gonna get, like, 30% fucking APR or whatever. Right?
Kid Fury
Point taken. It.
Crystal
So, Ray J, you really too old for this?
Kid Fury
Because I. I don't think Brandy's getting sued for, well, credit card payments, I imagine.
Crystal
Brandi, who has real talent and a real career. Brandy probably don't even focus. Brandy got people who do that for her. And so it's not even a question. Like, all her shit is on autopay. What you mean, been on auto pay? Soon as they invented auto pay, Brandi was like, oh, yeah, that's for me.
Girl.
Kid Fury
Not only. If anybody were to be like, oh, you owe us this money that hasn't getting paid. Someone's getting fired. Someone's getting. This is not my fault.
Crystal
Right.
Kid Fury
Where are you at? Where's the bag?
Speaking of court, that lady who was suing Cardi B. And then lost. And then Cardi B allegedly threw a pen at somebody and then she was like, ooh, yeah.
The judge was like, girl, leave me. I don't care about this. I don't want to talk about.
Crystal
Oh, good. I mean, it was silly, but it did crack me up. It did.
Kid Fury
So the judge said.
Cardi intimidated jurors by throwing a pen at a reporter while talking to the media, is what this lady, Imani Ellis said.
Cardi's lawyers called the request baseless and absurd. The request for trial, and said it should be rejected. Out hand, out of hand.
And at a court hearing on this past Friday, December 5, the judge rejected the pen tossing argument and denied the request for a new trial, saying writing, even if the plaintiff had provided sufficient evidence of these artifacts, the court finds unpersuasive the speculation that defendants purported action of throwing a pen could have intimidated the jurors into finding against.
Crystal
Okay.
Kid Fury
The nature of plaintiffs.
Crystal
I mean, that's. That's valid. The court said. Now look, we do love bullshit, but this is the bullshittiest. We can't do nothing with this girl. This is dumb. As.
Was it ridiculous for her to throw a pin the nan. Second she got out of court? Yes, but I'm not entertaining this. Go somewhere with this.
Kid Fury
Yeah, please go. Like she got things to do hers, right? We got.
Crystal
She can't be taking breaks from prepping for this tour to. To, you know, go meet with her lawyers about testifying. And again, she is busy and she.
Kid Fury
Got a tour at the same time as going to her man's games like she has things to do. Please save everyone the time.
Crystal
Oh, yeah, interesting.
Kid Fury
Have you ever heard about Nicki Minaj and the Barbie boat?
You know, we should bring back the sick of.
Crystal
Yeah, I was actually. I was just. How bad is this? The barbie boat?
Kid Fury
How. 1 Ranger 2 okay, all right. So Nicki Minaj now. Oh, hold on, hold on.
Crystal
Okay.
Kid Fury
This is not.
You tell me if this is on her. I say it's okay. Nicki Minaj posted on Dec 6 a small clip in what looks like the bayside waters of Miami, Florida.
And it is a speedboat that is all pink.
Well, pink like black trim or black with pink trim. And it says Barbie on the top of it. And it's just, you know, soaring through the ocean. It's just that. It's just a clip of this speedboat. Pink and black says with her on.
Crystal
It or just the boat?
Kid Fury
No, it's just like it's a. An aerial shot of the boat in the water.
So the Barbz were reposting this, just talking about how wealthy she is, mostly as an argument against allegations that Nikki ain't got no money. Nikki's been going rogue and spending all her money on her nigga and his legal issues, and that's why she mad. Blah, blah, blah. So this was kind of like this bitch got a Barbie yacht.
Crystal
Is it a yacht or is it.
Kid Fury
Wait, first of all, it isn't anything near yacht, because that's not what you describe.
Crystal
You did not describe a yacht.
Kid Fury
If I could do a split and my feet could touch both sides.
Crystal
Actually, let me Google this boat.
Kid Fury
We're on a boat. It's really pretty. It's very cute. But the truth of the matter.
Crystal
Oh, it is cute.
Kid Fury
It's very cute.
Crystal
Black. Yeah.
Kid Fury
The truth of the matter should have been pretty obvious, seeing as how this is right near south beach and it's the beginning of December.
Crystal
Yeah, who wouldn't be? I would.
Kid Fury
Right, right. It's our Basil bitch. Like, they probably also have this same company, probably also have Barbie ATVs, Barbie.
You know, Barbie Hellcat. These bitches have, like, Barbie stretch Hummers. Because the girlies come out there, spend $3000, $4000, $2000 for a little ride around on these things for their TikTok, for their Instagram, for their tweet, for their face.
Crystal
Right, right, right, right.
Kid Fury
Balling in Miami. So that's what this is. So the bars are getting a little ahead of themselves, I guess. Assuming that because Nicki Minaj posted this Barbie boat that she owns.
Crystal
Oh, she posted it, okay.
Kid Fury
Yes, she posted it first. That's why they were talking about it. But she didn't say that she was on the boat. She didn't say it was her boat. She just posted the Barbie boat. That was it. I'm not even sure that's what I'm saying. Like, I'm not even sure this isn't like an implication. Like, I'm not even really being like, hey, girls, it's not like she posted the video and just said, great day outs out on the water today. You know what I mean? Like, she just posted a Barbie boat. The same way she'd be posing all kinds of AI of her issue. Like, it could anyway.
Crystal
Oh, my God.
Kid Fury
The actual people who have the boat posted on. I think this is TikTok.
Someone tagged her, said it's available. There's a response that says, so did she rent it for a video? Because we saw that she posted it and they responded, no, she Saw her from balcony at a hotel she's staying at in Miami. Oh, I don't even know if that part is true because, like, how you know she's staying at that hotel? How you know she didn't just see that clip somewhere?
Crystal
Right.
Kid Fury
Whatever. Either way, yeah, that's not her boat. Someone else right, posted on Instagram. It looks like very might be on the boat on the back of it because it's showing, like, the. What do you call these. The propellers on the back. And the caption on this, like, story post says, can confirm this is not Nicki Minaj's boat. But at this and at that person would love to have you on it anytime. Best Art Basel ride ever.
Crystal
Okay.
Kid Fury
And then I guess this is the company. Midnight Express posted Rent the Barbie Dreamboat for 2000. Yeah, $2,000. So.
This one kind of, I think send the Barbie Nation into, like, a little bit, or at least the ones who were assumed and started jumping out in front of boats.
Making all kinds of assumptions. But I'm like, that lady just posted a vote. That completely works with her.
Crystal
Everything.
Kid Fury
Everything.
Crystal
Yeah, I. No, I don't think she's wrong for this. This sounds like a case of the barbs assigning meaning to something without having any reason to do that. Because honestly, I would expect Nicki Minaj to have a much nicer boat than this, if anything, bigger. Like, Papa Bear not going out on that thing.
Kid Fury
Big.
Crystal
Yeah, yeah. Papa Bear not getting on that thing.
So, no, she's not wrong. She's wrong for this. I. I pulled up her Twitter to find this post, and I see now she's fully on Trump's ass.
Kid Fury
Oh, yeah. I just. I was just taking shit. That's what I'm like. That's the sick and shut in.
Crystal
Yeah, this here's one Trump greater than chumps. Elon greater than peons.
She po. Yeah, she is fully in on the Trump shit. I told y'. All. I told y'. All. She want to pardon for them rapists in her life. That's what she wrong for this.
This is nothing. This is the barbs getting ahead of themselves.
Kid Fury
I agree. I would assume the boat would be larger even if the livery, the color grade were the same. I think the boat would be long at the very least. This was very clearly a tour boat that she was like, oh, that's cute. I'm a poster and that's that they are like, coin. What was that? What are you bitches saying on. On your fucking poor ass? Social medias. Don't you ever talk about the queen.
Crystal
Yeah, y' all need lives.
Kid Fury
Blueface is doing a new show where bitches try to date him on, I guess, his onlyfans or something. This time, however, he is having them shoot in what looks to be a prison. I guess it's a set, but.
They'Re actually in jail. No, like, the bunk beds, the cement walls, the. The bars. They are, like, shooting this in prison, quote, unquote.
Crystal
Right? My question then becomes, why would anybody want to be on this show? And I'm being 100% serious.
Kid Fury
I don't have an answer to that.
Crystal
I legitimately don't understand that. Like, is Blueface supposed to do something for you? Is he supposed to look at his baby mamas? Do you want either one of their lives? What about being with Blueface? Sounds like a good idea. I'd rather call Natalie Nunn and go on Baddies than go on Blueface's only fan show. And I'm so for real, and I'm 100% sincere.
Kid Fury
It is a wide, organic, grass fed.
It just is.
Free range fact.
There's no amount.
Crystal
Why are y' all doing that? Do y' all get a cut of wealth or. I bet you they doing it for free. I bet you they doing it for free. I don't. I doubt these girls are getting paid.
Kid Fury
Jesus.
Crystal
Yuck. Okay.
Kid Fury
I. I just don't. It's, like, depressing. Hey, y' all say, like, oh, you know, they want niggas to put in on a dress in Hollywood for a humiliation ritual. This is a humiliation, rit.
Crystal
I feel like as soon as you. You fill out the. The inquiry from being on this show, a therapist should call you instead and be like, let's schedule an intake session. I feel like you need to come sit down and talk to me. Maybe in person, maybe on Zoom, but you need to. You need to sit down and. And talk to somebody with a license.
Kid Fury
They just start, like, sting operations where it's like a fake audition for one of these things, and then actually a therapist is there.
Crystal
Yes. But instead of, like, To Catch a Predator, it's like To Catch a Bad Bitch or something. And it's like, we know you are wounded girl to back a baddie tobacco baddy.
That's it.
Kid Fury
You have some help for that, where.
Crystal
You think you come in. You walk in the door thinking you walking into the Blueface audition room. And instead it's a lineup of psychologists being like, go ahead and take a seat.
Kid Fury
Okay? You're allowed to leave.
Crystal
Cause we can't believe you saw that casting call.
And they give you some grippy socks to put on like you know where you going after this? We need to monitor you bitch. Cause it's something wrong. God damn, your self esteem is in hell, bitch. We gotta do something. This is an intervention.
Kid Fury
This is just wild. I don't, I don't know. I'm. I'm gonna get back into praying for y'. All.
Crystal
I I gen I feel like you better off doing just about anything else. Like door dash, like anything.
Else.
Kid Fury
Anything else.
Crystal
Yuck.
God be with the pretty girl.
Kid Fury
Anything else.
Pretty hurts, don't it? Hey guys. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Every dream needs a domain. It's a thing, girl. Squarespace domains make it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all inclusive price without hidden fees or add ons required. And with Squarespace collection of cutting edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful professional online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. I've used it quite a few times for a few different websites and it truly is incredibly easy going from the old days living in my own house learning HTML encoding. So I just put a blog spot page up together that look heavy scent and going from this which is essentially click click. Oh, do you have a photograph? Oh, that's fine, we can give you one. It's just it is so easy and quick. So if you're Interested, head to squarespace.com theread for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code theread1word to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Let them know we sent you. Let's get back to the show.
Crystal
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Kid Fury
So apparently that damn Diddy doc is number one on the flipknack.
Crystal
Man, they got me. I haven't watched it yet, but I am going to.
Kid Fury
Okay, that makes fun of us. So you'll be able to catch us up on the comings and goings. Everyone's talking about it except me, and that includes Marlon Wayans. That includes Ja Rule. That includes me. Still, everyone's talking about it. I'm gonna first discuss. Let's just get Marlon Wayans out of the way. Marlon Wayans was on someone's podcast. I asked him about it, and he essentially said, same shit. I said, this is kind of like, what is this person's intention outside of I hate this nigga?
I think they specifically asked him about the implication or the.
Suggestion that.
Puffy has something to do with Biggie dying, Tupac dying, which I think maybe we mentioned.
And that's where Marlon was like, okay, I'm saying as a producer or director, I can.
Have a narrative go whichever way I want it to go. I can make you. Without even facts for certain things. I can make you think about it. And once you open the door to think about it, then boom, boom, boom. So really what he was just saying is that, like, these things have story, narrative, and someone else was like, kind of like reality shows, true reality shows do the same thing. They build a story, and they tried to produce something around that story. That's not to say this nigga didn't have anything to do with those people's deaths. I think he was just calling into question, okay, well, this incredibly petty nigger is the one producing this. What is Right? Just think, right?
50 Cent responded by posting a picture of Marlon in. In White Chicks and saying, keep my name out your Bible, right? Like, we haven't all seen that. Like, okay, so I don't understand what. I don't understand this one, right? This is a movie that came out that we all watched. We know what he looked like in a movie. You know what the movie's about, and we love it. The intention in the movie.
Crystal
We fucking love that movie.
Kid Fury
This isn't a secret. Like, you didn't.
Crystal
Do you think you gagged somebody Right.
Kid Fury
His laptop. Like, I don't. I don't understand this.
But, like, niggas, it seems like they're.
Shade fest. They're reading, is just posting photos of the person that they find to be embarrassing or emasculating, and then that's it. There's no read.
Crystal
Right?
Kid Fury
There's no. Like, it's just, here, I'll picture you. That is gay.
Crystal
And that's supposed to be it. Like, mm. And do you see how you looked gay that time? All right. N. Who cares?
Is that the same thing so many other people have been saying? Like.
Kid Fury
The Biggie Tupac thing?
Crystal
Yeah. Like, I don't even understand why 50 Cent would respond to Marlon of all people. Like, who cares?
Kid Fury
Because Marlon's famous.
Crystal
Well, I mean, hell, I. I actually feel like he's not even the only famous person to bring it up, but, okay, I guess he bored.
Kid Fury
Marlon posted A photo of 50.
From the poster. 12 Years of Slave where he running. Oh, so now let's think about this. 50, I'm assuming, meaning, like, I'm actually a comedian.
Crystal
This, not that. This is really not the game. You're right. It's not the game you want to play.
Kid Fury
50Cent, them report posted a video. This is like a clip from Marlon on Shannon Sharp's podcast where he talked. In this clip, I think he talked about having gone to parties with Buffalo for something. And then he posted. In the caption for this video, 50 Cent says, I'm number one in 49 countries. I want all the smoke, punk. I just found that wording to be so interesting. I'm number one in 49 countries. He's talking about the movie. Well, I mean, you're not in the documentary. The documentary is not about you. The documentary is actually about really horrible, heinous things that a horrible, heinous person did. You didn't direct the documentary. You're not the cinematographer. You're number one in 49.
Crystal
You're not you. And. But, you know, if you think about all the things, you know, about 50 Cent, him saying something like that is so on brand. Like, of course you take it.
Kid Fury
Yes. But you're also signing the fucking document that Marlon just wrote in blood. Like, you're making his point, bitch.
Crystal
Yeah, you're right.
Kid Fury
Which is that your intentions are not placed where they should be.
Crystal
Why? I didn't want to watch it in the first place. I said 50 cent producing a documentary on Puff is just a little too fucking much.
Kid Fury
But let's move on over to what Jaru had to say, because I almost passed this as my read this said on Twitter let's be real that don't give a about the victims. We all know why he did the doc. Herman's a cancer to the culture. If he cares so much, then donate the profits to charities for domestic violence. Now I don't know why he calls if you said Herman.
Crystal
Oh yeah, because what's his real name? Curtis. Yeah, well, maybe his middle name is Herman. That would be so funny.
Kid Fury
Nope, it's James.
Herman the monster. I really don't know what Herman is.
I'm not Someone said I'm a 50 cent side on this one. There are some animals that deserve to be snitched on out there. Some things can't be swept under the rug. Ja Rule said, I'm not condoning Diddy's behavior. I'm showcasing Herman's character. Then he tweets Herman's no different allegedly 50 Cent real name Curtis Jackson, has been involved in at least one well documented domestic violence incident. In June 2013, he was accused of kicking his ex girlfriend and the mother of his son, model Daphne Joy, also known as Daphne Narvaez, in the stomach during an argument at her Los Angeles condominium, as well as destroying approximately $7,100 worth of her property, including furniture, a chandelier and a television. The altercation reportedly stemmed from suspicions of infidelity. Now it's very clear that he put Herman's no different allegedly shrug emoji and then what ChatGPT said.
Crystal
Right? Okay, makes sense.
Kid Fury
Los Angeles authorities charged him with one misdemeanor count of domestic violence, four counts of misdemeanor vandalism. Jackson pleaded not guilty initially, but later reached a plea deal in October 2013, pleading no contest to one count of vandalism. The domestic violence charge and three vandalism courts were dropped as part of the agreement. He was sentenced to three years of probation, 30 days of community service, 52 weeks of domestic violence counseling, a $7,100 restitution payment to Joy, $22,390 in fines, and a restraining order requiring him to stay away from her. Jackson denied the domestic violence allegations at the time through his attorney, stating he had not been arrested and there was no warrant for his arrest. 2024 made his production at a Netflix of a Netflix docu series. Joy publicly accused Jackson of raping and physically abusing her over the years, referencing the two the 2013 incident as part of a pattern, though no new charges resulted from these claims. All one to be then he says it's cool when he do it. It's a problem when I do it. Fuck up. Fuck out of here. Herman is an abuser, too. Allegedly. I guess people like calling him out for, like, why you posting it? Why you hating on this nigga? Da, da, da, da. It's like he is doing this thing, right? He's doing.
Crystal
He's. He is the same type of nigga.
Kid Fury
Please believe this is the documentary you're watching is what I just. It's just about some of.
Crystal
Yeah, damn, that's valid. I figured out where Herman came from. Ja Rule called him a Herman Munster head ass nigga.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
Crystal
So. And then I had to Google Herman Munster. And then.
You, you know, immediately. That's square head. Yeah. Okay.
Kid Fury
Someone said to him, thank you, Jai. He was. He also was accused by tatted of Hollywood.
He retweeted that. And he said, let's not have selective outrage when it comes to domestic abuse. So is Ja Rule, you know, calling 50 Cent out on his shit because he hates 50 Cent for personal reasons that have nothing to do with the victims? Yes.
Crystal
I'm not mad.
Kid Fury
Did we say this very thing when questioning.
Crystal
It makes sense. Honestly, the things Ja Rule and Martin said, they both make sense. So I'm not sure what that nigga is so pressed about. You do have weird motives. It's just the fact that you are 50 Cent. So you had access to all this type of video footage or ways of obtaining this video footage that, you know, regular journalists, legal analysis, et cetera, could have never had any chance of getting. That's why your name is on this documentary. But it. You being number one in 49 countries is absurd. The idea that you did this because you just care so much about victims is even more absurd. Like, no, you're a horrible person as well. We ain't even talked about how you do your kids.
At least Diddy claimed. Not only claimed all his kids, he claimed other n kids. And, you know, perhaps he was a terrible father, but he at least claimed them niggas spent money on them niggas.
Kid Fury
There's no way that Diddy could be Diddy and not be a terrible father.
Crystal
Right?
Kid Fury
No.
Crystal
I mean, you. You allegedly killed one of the mothers of your children. So.
Kid Fury
But you just cannot abuse women and.
Crystal
Be a good father.
And it's just because you're absolutely teaching your kids to be that same way, to either also be abusive or to accept abuse or turn an eye to it.
Kid Fury
Like, you.
Crystal
Absolutely. But like 50 Cent, he just has no space to talk shit about anybody else. And I feel like that's all they saying.
Kid Fury
You can walk and chew bubble gums.
Crystal
Yeah, you can.
Kid Fury
Most of us, you can watch this documentary and be like, yeah, this nigga is a piece of shit. And I can't believe this. And, wow, this adds even more context or whatever you want to get out of that. And also be like, it is very wild that 50 cent is the woman running around with this as a banner.
Crystal
I wonder who's going to produce the 50 Cent documentary. That's where my mind goes. Because you also got skeletons in your closet. You just don't have Puff's money. So maybe you never got the chance to be quite that depraved or you don't have his power, but. Or you didn't. You came up in a different era. You know, it was a big difference between the 90s and the 2000s. But regardless of how he's a different nigga from him. Yeah. I mean, regardless of. Not that. But not different enough. And that's the point everybody is making.
Kid Fury
No, like, different in just the type of.
The type of rich you are. Like, they're not only is Diddy like, in a different bracket, but, you know, did he want oil, Baby oil with drugs in it and, you know, possibly gay and bi sex? Did he wanna. You know, did he's like, baby.
Crystal
And speaking of which, I saw a post on Threads the other day that suggested that Diddy is actually gay, was always gay, and when his mama saw signs of homosexuality in him, she tried to beat that out of him and, you know, hired women to come molest her son and all this. And that's part of the reason why he has turned into the kind of person that he is now. And I haven't seen the documentary for myself. Apparently there's a line in there, something like, janice wanted a prince, and she and Shawn just always wanted to be a princess or something like that. I don't know the exact line, so don't get me to lie in, but I'm gonna watch this.
Kid Fury
I know Janice is pissed. Well, I saw something about her being.
Crystal
If I was this terrible of a mother and everybody knew about it, I would be pissed, too.
Kid Fury
But apparently Misa is also pissed because there's something in there that implies that her son Justin isn't like, Puffy is not Justin's biological father. And it was actually, like, a security guard that fathered Justin, and she's like, I guess ready to sue. He's like, this is what the fuck is y' all talking about? And when I read that, I'm like, What does that have to do with anything?
Crystal
Right? Who cares? I mean, I don't know.
Kid Fury
True or not, I don't understand what that has to do anything, but I didn't watch it.
Crystal
That's not Puffy's only kid who's not biologically his. So I'm just not tripping off of that. There's worse problems when it comes to that family.
Kid Fury
Kimora Lee says to. I think this is people, that she is basically a mother figure to his kids, specifically to his twin daughters.
Oh, she said this on Today with Jenna and Friends last Wednesday.
Crystal
Okay.
Kid Fury
She said that she's got a big family. She's got. She got her five of her own kids.
She has an additional daughter, a stepdaughter, a bonus son who I guess is on. They're on this new show or something.
Crystal
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kid Fury
And she said, one of my friends who passed away, Kim Porter, I have her kids. Even though some of them are adults, some of them are 18 twins.
When asked if they come to her, she said, yeah, they're with me. I just got off the phone with them. I'm a lot of people's mom. So when she says with. She said, I have all of her kids when talking about her friend Kim Porter. And she. When I asked her again, she said, yeah, they're with me when talking about the twins. So I'm like, this sounds like she has custody of them. I don't know what this. When you say, oh, yeah, I have those kids there with me, it make. It makes me. I would assume you mean that they stay with you, right?
Crystal
Or that they live with you, Right?
Kid Fury
With you, Right?
Crystal
I would assume that same thing. But if the. On the one hand, if they're 18, the girls are adults, on the other hand, they lost their mother at a very pivotal time in adolescence. And if they turn to Kimora, then they probably do look at her as like, you know, that motherly type figure. And we all know that people do not turn 18 and suddenly don't need they mamas no more. So. And, And. And like she said, she has so many children like Kahmora, she got Ming and Aoki and that little boy at least. And, well, you just. You just did the whole rundown, so it's like, what's two more? Yeah, them. Them kids, too. Yeah, the twins is mine too. Yeah, they all over here.
Kid Fury
She was already probably giving aunt anyway.
And so I wouldn't be surprised if she just kind of did step in and. And helped kind of fill their role in places which I Think is really beautiful. And yeah, being 18, even if they are going off into the world in their own way as an adult, I wouldn't be surprised if, if what Kimora is saying is true. If it's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna go and lay my head down, go give me some food or whatever. They go to this.
Crystal
Yeah.
Kid Fury
If they don't still stay right, right.
Crystal
If they. Right, exactly that. That's what I'm thinking.
Kid Fury
I thought that was sweet. I also saw a clip of Kimora on a podcast where she was talking about aoki dating a 65 year old wife.
Crystal
Oh, really?
Kid Fury
Very interesting clip. It is.
About three minutes of her doing a song and dance. And okay. I could tell after a while she was not trying to.
Say anything judgmental. She was not trying to shit on her daughter and she was not trying to get sued.
Crystal
Okay.
Kid Fury
Like so at first she. But it kind of was giving excuses at first because she was this white woman is saying to her like, you know, that was just really crazy. It was like a huge moment because like everyone saw that and we were all kind of thinking the same thing. And Cora said something like, Kimora said something like, you know, like why did everyone see that? Like I, I didn't really, I don't understand why that it was like a thing because like you see that everywhere all the time. And I don't.
Crystal
But okay, I don't see beautiful 19 year old girls with gross looking 65 year old men, but I'm sure it happens. I think that's her point.
Kid Fury
Right. And she also kind of, you know.
She kind of went around the edge of having experienced some of that.
Crystal
Of course she did.
Kid Fury
The host said something like, you know, well, it's not like it was like a, it's not like it was like Leonardo DiCaprio. This is like a 65 year old something something. And Kimora was like, this is not the same thing though. And I was like, well host, don't lose the plot. She was like.
Crystal
To whom?
Kid Fury
And then she, she still laughed that off. It was kind of like, I'm sorry Leo. He's gonna be easily like, oh, I'm not 65 and I don't look like that. But I think that's what the why the woman's point was. Like Leo's a little bit younger and he's not right.
Crystal
It's not a 40 something. Which would still be weird. Like yeah, she went, grandpa. I don't know why she couldn't say.
Kid Fury
Leonardo Kyber was 51 years old.
Crystal
I'm not gonna talk about that. We're not gonna up Aoki's bag. Okay. Aok had to do.
Kid Fury
Eventually. She's kind of like. She says that she found out when everybody else did. She didn't know anything about it.
Crystal
Makes sense.
Kid Fury
She knew that man and that he was like a restaurateur. So she knew him growing up. She's. No.
Crystal
Oh, okay. That would have. I'm sorry. That would have sickened me.
Kid Fury
She said that when she spoke to her daughter, the host was like. You were like, you know, like, what the. What the heck is going on? She was like, well, I didn't say it like that because the whole world was kind of saying it like that, essentially. So you don't want your mom also then coming and being like, what the heck is going on? Right. So she's trying to just ask her question. And ultimately she said that she believed the situation to be predatory.
Crystal
Yes.
Kid Fury
Like, just with that age gap. She was like, is that okay for me to say legally? Like, she. She was doing that.
Crystal
Okay.
Kid Fury
So it was a very. She was trying not to, you know, shit on Aoki. And she was also like, I know this man. This man know me.
I'm not.
Crystal
That's what makes it so much grosser to me.
Kid Fury
Like, you saw it 10 times worse.
Crystal
I think it's something really depraved about pursuing somebody that you knew when they were a child. Like, you watch this person grow up. That is so disgusting, man.
Kid Fury
Like, I can't even wrap up.
Crystal
It's millions of 21, 21 year old girls in this world. If you wanted one that fucking bad, you could throw a rock on Instagram and find one. Why a little girl that you watched grow up, that's what sick. That's even sicker.
Kid Fury
Like, and you watched her mom grow up, right?
Crystal
So that turns from, oh, okay, Aoki found her a rich nigga. You know, I think it's nasty, but let her do her thing to. Oh, you were targeted. And so I see why. Yeah. Okay, Now Kimora dancing around, it makes a lot more sense. That context of him knowing her changes everything.
Kid Fury
But she did call him a predator, essentially. And I was like, correct. And the last five seconds, last eight seconds you got there, she was like.
Crystal
I was trying not to say it, but how. How can we say it without me getting in trouble? Yeah.
Kid Fury
The more the clip went on, you could tell this was something that pissed her off, but she was just trying not to get in trouble.
Crystal
Yeah. And her finding out the same time as everybody else. Yeah. Y' all kept that a secret for a reason. That dirty old man.
Yeah, you kept that from her for a reason, y'. All.
Kid Fury
Murder, right?
Crystal
Right.
Kid Fury
Murder and death.
Crystal
Literally, like I. Oh, it would have took the whole world. Murder and death of that man. Oh.
Kid Fury
That was my last Hot Topic. That's such a gross place to leave it. Play this video game for me.
Crystal
Okay.
Kid Fury
It's called Goodnight Universe. It is so beautiful. I don't want to tell you. How cute. Too much.
Crystal
Is it like Goodnight Moon, but you.
Kid Fury
Play as a baby. He plays. A baby that is very hyper aware, very smart, and is also a baby and is just kind of experiencing this new life and you kind of like, it's almost. Look who guess. Look who's talking. Look who's talking. S. Yeah. Where you are kind of listening to this baby narrate. Coming into the world and meeting these people and loving these people. It is so heartwarming. It's like three hours long. So you could play it in an afternoon in a weekend. I cried big cries by the end of it. It's very, very touching. It's very introspective, excited. It's. It has, like, some magic to it. So it's not just, you know, I mean, it's really cute. I think that you'll like it. I think it's on switch.
Crystal
I'll do that.
Kid Fury
This week I played on PlayStation, so you can play it on.
Crystal
Yeah, it does say you guys at home, too, so. Okay, I'm gonna check that out.
Kid Fury
So good, so good, so good. I hope they win awards for it, too. The writing is excellent. So, yeah, we're gonna leave it there. Positivity and not that nasty old man.
Crystal
Magic babies.
Kid Fury
What a yuck. Yeah.
Crystal
Anyway, happy things.
Kid Fury
Magic.
Rebecca, Sugar, that's it. We're gonna take a break. We'll be right back. Okay, girls, holiday season. And for the folks planning to give gifts, I can probably predict how that's gonna go for you. You're gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna think of something very fierce and thoughtful and majestic and gag the kids, gag the girlies when it comes down to it. And then life lives and you run out of time or anxiety kicks you in the butt and you're like, I'm just going to go down to the local store and get a gift card. Put that in another cart and happy holidays. Well, this year you don't have to do that. You can go ahead and skip the panic and give your loved ones an aura frame. Allow them to enjoy unlimited free photo and video uploads. Simply download the Aura app, connect to Wi fi and start adding memories in seconds to the these digital frames. So you are being thoughtful by making them think about it. What do you want to see? How do you want to feel today in your frame? I love these things. Actually the first frame like this I got was a gift from my dad many Christmases ago and I found it to be incredibly fierce because I could put all these pictures of them, both my parents in this frame and have it in my apartment in New York and be like oh, there they go. And then it was maybe slide over to a photo of link and then maybe Beyonce and you know, whatever man from Instagram. I'm lusting over just the possibilities are endless. So if you're interested for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura frames Best selling Carver Mat frames named number one by wirecutter by using promo code the read at checkout that is a u raframes.com, promo code the read this deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out very fast, especially this time of year, so order yours now to get in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Have fun.
Crystal
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Kid Fury
We are back and it is now time for your letters.
Crystal
Yes it is. Send your questions to askthereadmail.com we may read them aloud on the show. We do have a quick question here from Tess who says just writing in to ask if Fury has seen the trailer from Mother Mary and if so, what are his thoughts?
Kid Fury
I did watch that trailer, but I don't remember anything about it. That's the one with Anne Hathaway is in it looks like it's some kind of gothic thing. I watched the trailer for that, but I don't remember anything about it.
Crystal
Is it scary? Oh, psychological drama, thriller, horror, gothic. Yeah.
Kid Fury
Oh, this is the one with Michaela Cole. Yes. This looks tea. It looks like some sort of like revenge type movie where Anne Hathaway. Yes. That I am going to watch this. And Hathaway plays like a superstar, like a musician, pop star or something like that. And I think Mikayla's like an old friend of hers that she goes to to make her gown, but the friend hates her for reasons I don't think they discuss.
Crystal
Okay.
Kid Fury
And yeah, I don't know much else outside of that. Two amazing actors are in it. Mikaela is one of the most strikingly beautiful people, I think, in the world. And then the photography for this movie looks excellent. And how's Anne Hathaway? Like a believable pop diva.
Crystal
Well, she can really sing.
Kid Fury
That lady's a chameleon.
Crystal
She can sing for real.
Kid Fury
Yeah, she.
Crystal
She really can. So I'm not. I'm not surprised by this casting. This almost sounds good.
Kid Fury
I just like the look of her. She looks like she should be at the Grammys. Just in the. In this trailer.
Crystal
Yeah. Love that.
Kid Fury
Yeah. This looks fun. I'm definitely gonna check this one out. Thank you for reminding me of it because I think a lot of times when I. Okay, I'm gonna say it anyway, because y' all just crack your eyes open and doom scroll on TikTok. Mine is watching movie trailers. I crack my eyes open sometimes and I just look at. I open the MacBook and I start looking at trailers for movies and stuff. This was one of them.
Crystal
Okay.
Kid Fury
So, yeah, thank you for that.
Crystal
Now this. We have a letter this week that is a little messy. Um.
So last week, we.
Kid Fury
You saying that first makes me.
Crystal
Because.
Kid Fury
Because we've had messy ones where you need to say, because this is like.
Crystal
A follow up to a letter that was last week.
But it's someone else, so.
Please, I gotta get it out.
Kid Fury
So.
Crystal
Whoo.
Kid Fury
Yes. Let's do it.
Crystal
Last week, we had a letter from Tabitha, who was like, I was in the hospital. When I got out, my best friend Sydney had been fucking on this girl. I liked Wanda. And we was going back and forth.
Kid Fury
Why am I not surprised us, y'. All.
Crystal
So Sydney wrote in and said, hey, Crystal and Kid Fury.
Kid Fury
Wow.
Crystal
I'm a longtime fan and supporter, and I have not missed a week since I started listening to. Even though y' all chewed me up and spit me out in the last episode. I was highly entertained. But.
Kid Fury
Well, state your case.
Crystal
I don't think y' all got the full picture of what went down between Tabitha and I, and very conveniently so. So I'm here to clear the air.
Let me start off with the fact that Tabitha introduced me to Wanda and wanted me to meet her because they knew we would hit it off. Yes, I knew that Tabitha. I knew Tabitha had a crush on Wanda, but by the time I met Wanda, she and Tabitha had already established that they would be platonic. There is no reality in which Wanda would ever want to date somebody like Tabitha, who is extremely polyamorous and was actively dating and fucking multiple people while all this was going on. Tabitha Wandeline's monogamous like me, and we're honestly pretty perfect for each other. She is the safest and most loving rel. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I originally tried to. Y' all always go off on how much you love these girls. Okay, we get it. I originally tried to friend zone Wanda, but every time I saw her, things would just progress. And she honestly makes me really happy. It was hard to deny her love when she treats me right. And we're a great match. Before Tabitha was hospitalized, Wanda and I were already going out on dates, which Tabitha knew about.
Kid Fury
Tabitha. Now, you didn't say that. Tabitha.
Crystal
I had asked Tabitha how they would feel about seeing about me seeing Wanda, and their response was, I'm not sure how I would feel, but that they didn't want to block my blessings. So I let things flow.
Tabitha, as you know, with the Liga Bigga Tigga plus plus plus these dates happen consecutively and often. We went on like 12 dates before we finally hooked.
Kid Fury
Damn.
Crystal
I was trying to wait, but things just happened. Was I really expected to make my girl wait forever? I even told Tabitha as soon as they got out of the hospital because I didn't want them to find out from somebody else. So I'm not sure how much more accountable I could be. I also did not just show up to a friend's party with my new boo. I showed up to my best friend's birthday party that I helped coordinate at Pride in the Park. Tabitha, my best friend, was excited to meet my new boo, who makes me very happy and had given me the okay to bring Wanda despite knowing that Tabitha would also be there. And I wasn't about to leave BAE home while I was at Pride. At the end of the day.
Kid Fury
This is so funny.
Crystal
I love dykes. At the end of the day, I was concerned about my best friend's feelings more on their birthday, and I feel like Tabitha should have understood that. And regarding Tabitha's party that I texted her about going to, it was actually their siblings Halloween pre game party, which just so happened to be hosted at Tabitha's house. I got uninvited day of because Tabitha suddenly couldn't bear to see me after weeks of putting me off. We had been trying to discuss our friendship and even met in person to talk things out. And this is where they told me that they could not be happy for me. However, Tabitha's schedule was hectic and they were going through a lot, so I was trying not to be pushy. Uninviting me on the day of after telling me a few days before that it was okay for us to share a space was my last straw since in my eyes, this drama was unnecessary. Tabitha was making it seem like me letting someone pursue me and treat me right was a crime. So yes, I did end our friendship abruptly through text, but I was honestly tired of them telling me that they couldn't be happy for me and that I was a terrible friend. God forbid a gay have some boundaries. And lastly, but most importantly, Tabitha basically did this exact same thing to me last summer where they pursued one of my crushes. Ooh, Tabitha B. I hooked up with my crush. And immediately after, like the next day, Tabitha declared their love to my crush. Tabitha stays trying to claim every crush I have, even though they be hooking up with the whole city and a half. Like, damn, can't I get a chance to be happy too? I don't even participate in gay culture these days. Because it's so messy. And I've been waiting to be with someone who just wants to be with.
Kid Fury
Me that is also lesbian sensitive.
Crystal
I told Tabitha that their entitlement to crushes is weird, and I think there needs to be some accountability to that. But poly people will do whatever they want to in the name of freedom or whatever, I guess.
Kid Fury
Whatever they be doing over there with their polyamorous bullshit. And they're all fucking all.
Crystal
I'm not sure why Tabitha wrote y' all leaving out all these very key details, expecting this not to get back to me.
In all honesty, though, Tabitha needs to grow up. They're almost 40 and still acting out like they got all the time in the world to be ruining good friendships over. Petty, childish, dramatic. I almost missed out on one of the best relationships of my life. Had I given Tabitha their way. But I wasn't going to do that again, especially not with somebody this great. If they want to ice me out of their life for a crush they had of three weeks over our four year friendship, then so be it. But I'm happy where I'm at, and that's that. They don't miss me. They miss me bending my boundaries for them. And it's sad to realize that after four years. But I couldn't keep somebody in my life who made me feel like a bad person for just living. Anyway, thanks for listening. I just had to say something. Since hearing my story get twisted on, the only podcast I listened to was not on my 2025 bingo card. I'm always rooting for and raving about you, Bay. Please let me know if you really think I'm in the wrong. Cause so far, all of our mutuals seem to be on my side, and they think Tabitha is just having big, messy feelings. If y' all still think I'm an inconsiderate, shitty friend, I will still be a fan, I promise. Thanks, Sydney.
Kid Fury
I promised you wouldn't need to tell me. Like I'm gonna say what I want to say.
Crystal
This is incredible, though. Thank you. Wow. Oh, I just adore it.
Kid Fury
Tabitha, how could you?
Crystal
Tabitha. Maybe Tabitha just wanted to hear. Some people drag Sydney and so you said. Clearly leave out all the context.
Kid Fury
Clearly they're gonna be on my side.
Crystal
Yeah. And I'm gonna make sure they on my side. Oh, damn, Tabitha.
Kid Fury
So, hold on.
So she actually started dating Baby Boo before you went into the house?
Crystal
Yes. And you knew that she had a.
Kid Fury
Crush on Baby Boo, but that was put to rest when it was decided that y' all would just Be cool. Then Wanda and Sydney start dating. You didn't tell us that. Yeah, you also didn't tell us that you did this same shit to her, but worse. Cause you actually her crush while she was still crushing on the be like you.
Like everything that you said to us was missing something or poor head. Yeah.
Crystal
And I think Tabitha knows that. Had we had this information, baby, come on now.
Kid Fury
We would've been telling you. You were tripping. Like it seems like all your friends are.
Crystal
Exactly. So.
Gosh, Sydney, I just wanna say thank you for emailing us your side of the story. I don't. Sometimes I think y' all think that we are like. We cuss you out and then we're like, you know, six months later thinking, oh, you remember that bitch Sydney. No, I've.
Kid Fury
I.
Crystal
These letters vanish from my mind as soon as we're done recording.
Kid Fury
Six hours later.
Crystal
I promise you I was not holding this against you or anything like that. You know, I don't. These are probably all fake names. I don't know what none of y' all look like. I would never hold this against you. But I do appreciate the extra context here. And of course my advice would change. Knowing all of this now, it sounds like.
Kid Fury
Of course.
Crystal
Sounds like y' all just don't need to.
Kid Fury
Because our main thing. I think our main thing with her when we listened to Tabitha's letter was how inconsiderate she was.
Crystal
Yes.
Kid Fury
And Sydney was like, oh, bitch, let.
Crystal
Me tell y' all one thing.
Kid Fury
Like, I considered everything.
Crystal
I considered everything. And honestly, even just the. We went on dates before Tabitha was hospitalized and Tabitha knew that. That alone, like, you don't even. You didn't even need this. Yeah, right. That's considerate. And hitting you up and telling you directly. Hey, while you were hospitalized, it went from just dating to this is my boo.
Kid Fury
Didn't she say we met because old girl thought we would be a good man?
Crystal
Yes. Introduced us because Wanda is more monogamous and she not with all this. You fucking somebody different every other night. So it was never going to work out. No way. And if you're.
Lord, Lord, Lord, I'm sorry.
Kid Fury
If you're poly.
Crystal
Mm.
Kid Fury
Right. Can't. Doesn't mean you don't have a crush. It doesn't mean you don't have feelings. But baby cakes, get in the feeling.
Crystal
And don't you have a three week.
Kid Fury
Crush versus your friend?
Crystal
Right. I would think that if you were poly and sexually active that, you know, miss one bus. Next 15. One coming.
Kid Fury
Hey.
Get under to get Over. Am I right, ladies and gentlemen? Like, what are we talking about?
Crystal
Oh, the ladies. Ladies and gaities have got to get it together. This is so. I just. I saw this in the inbox, and I was like, my nipples are so bad.
Kid Fury
This is incredible. Yeah. So that was so good.
Crystal
Thank you.
Kid Fury
And so gay.
Crystal
She was really gay.
Kid Fury
Really gay. Okay, now, this bitch tried it because I know she know I listen to.
Crystal
And it's the only podcast I listen to, so you wrote in knowing I would hear it, and you just didn't think I would actually send an email my damn self.
Kid Fury
Quick news flash tab.
That wide web. It's for the world.
It's for the whole world. I'm on it, too. I'm on it, too. I can email them same niggas.
Crystal
I can.
Kid Fury
And I'm gone.
Crystal
And I did. So maybe y' all just don't need to talk.
Kid Fury
No.
Crystal
Cause at this point, I don't. I mean, not. I don't know who to believe, but y' all are having.
Kid Fury
Oh, I definitely believe Sydney.
Crystal
Y' all are definitely right. Cause Sydney's like. She didn't, you know, Tabitha didn't lie. What Tabitha did do was not tell y' all the full truth. They're left out.
Kid Fury
That's called alive.
Crystal
It is. It is called that. So this was fun. Thank you so much.
Kid Fury
All of those things of, like, why would she do this? Sydney said, I didn't. I wouldn't.
Crystal
You're right. Why would I do that? I literally would not. I was so considerate.
Kid Fury
She brought her to our friends party, and our friend don't even know that person. She don't even know Wanda. She'd never met Wanda before. Meanwhile, I helped plan this party. I spoke to my homegirl.
Crystal
She's my best fucking friend. You left that part out, too. Oh, she just Right. My best friend brought Wanda to a mutual friend party. That is. That is Sydney's best friend's party that she helped plan. And it was at Pride in the Park. So not even some private venue, but like Pride, where thousands of days are roaming like, okay, Tab, you're a little fussy little.
Kid Fury
You a little foxy little.
Crystal
You're a little scamp, aren't you, Tabitha?
Kid Fury
Oh, I see that.
Crystal
Best of luck. As everybody goes along their merrily gay way. We have a letter here from Rose, who says hi. Fury and Crystal, my husband and I met in grad school as a litmus test before meeting my whole family. I introduced him to my brother, and they hit it off. By the time we were married, Two years later, my husband and brother had developed a close friendship. Over the last seven years. They've taken boys trips together, started a small business, and my husband was even in my brother's wedding. Everything was great.
What my brother and family didn't know at first was that my husband was emotionally abusive. It all came out over a year ago and my brother has not let it go. We've been in couples counseling and my husband truly has gotten better. And all of my family have accepted it. Or at least they do a good job of acting like they accept it. My brother couldn't believe I kept everything from him and doesn't understand why I'm still with him. He says I shouldn't be surprised by his contempt because he has. This is the same brother who cut off a friend that cheated on his wife and still doesn't have a good relationship with our uncle who committed domestic violence against his girlfriend. He wants nothing to do with my husband. Their friendship is now non existent and their business is only being run by my brother at the moment. He recently told us that he got a lawyer to officially dissolve the partnership. I feel like my brother should be happy that my husband and I worked things out. He has truly changed, and I wouldn't still be with him if he wasn't working on himself. We were once a big happy family, and now that is torn apart. How can I or my husband show my brother that we are in a good space? Or do y' all think this is a lost cause? Thanks, Rose.
Kid Fury
Hmm. Thank you, Rose, for this one. I don't know if we've. I'm sure we've gotten letters from people who are like, this person I love hates the person that I'm with that I love.
Crystal
I'm just glad it didn't turn until my brother and my husband started fucking. That's what I was scared of.
Kid Fury
So knowing this show you were gonna say I thought was fighting.
Crystal
Well, sound like they might actually.
Kid Fury
Yeah, it sounded like that Christmas is.
Crystal
Gonna be a little uncomfortable.
Kid Fury
That would have been a really good follow up to that last update letter, though.
I think.
This is tricky because I'm trying to empathize with you, but I feel very, very connected to your cut. Same her, like, same hero. I'm. I'm so sorry. Like, if you. If you decide to stay with someone that abused you.
As someone who loves you and especially blood that loves you, I'm sorry. Hate is going to be a sign of this nigga for the rest of his living days. If you divorced him, I'd Hate that nigga. I'd probably spend it in Walmart. So.
Like, I think that you're going to. It is probably wiser for you and your quest to peace to just make peace with the fact that your brother hates this nigga and there is nothing that you can do about it, because he hates that man for good reason. You can love him, you can stay with him. That's your choice. And at best, you know, putting myself in issues. At best.
I'm gonna, like, respect you as an adult and your adult decision making and that you've decided to stay. And by that I mean I'm not going to bug you about your relationship by every chance I get. When we come together for Christmas, I'm going to do my very best to not, like, start a situation that's gonna cause you stress.
Crystal
Yeah.
Kid Fury
You know, for me, that means that might mean knowing where this nigga is gonna be, if he's gonna be there, and not also.
Crystal
Yep. Rule number one, don't have us in the same room.
Kid Fury
But I. I think trying to get your brother to be happy for you is.
Is. Is wild. Like, it's pretty wild. I think that your brother is completely valid in his reasoning. And I think that it's. It's.
I can't even think of the word. It's just. This is wild. To try and convince him to be cool with someone he knows abuse you.
Crystal
Right. Right.
Kid Fury
At best, I'm just not gonna punch him in the face every time I see him.
Crystal
Yeah. You know, I. I honestly feel the same way. Like, I'm really. I'm, I'm. I have empathy for you because the vibes were great before, and now that everybody knows the truth, the vibes are fucked up. And that sucks. On the other hand, I highly identify with your brother as well. Like, I think the best you gonna get out of me.
Is apathy. The best you gonna get out of me.
Kid Fury
1,000% is neutrality.
Crystal
Everybody's here for Christmas, complete. And I just. Right. I just don't speak to this person, don't look at that person, do not engage with them in any kind of way. You know, when we all holding hands to pray before dinner, that can't be nowhere near me because I'm not touching that, et cetera, you know, that's the best you gonna get out of me because.
Kid Fury
And respect that. That is gonna be a journey.
Crystal
Yes.
Kid Fury
What Molly Carter said. It's the crime. I have to get there.
Crystal
Did you say Molly Carter?
Kid Fury
At least I read it.
Crystal
I like Molly Carter.
Kid Fury
Off of insecure they did one song. They did one song.
Crystal
Um, yeah. So, Rose, I think you wanting them to be buddy buddy again, let that. It's time to let that go. Yeah. It sounds like your brother is very strict about men mistreating women. And honestly, we need more of that.
Kid Fury
Thank.
Crystal
He cut off a friend who cheated on his wife. Wow. I wouldn't even do that.
I wouldn't even cut. Well, it depend on why, but I probably wouldn't cut off a friend for cheating on her husband. That's our business. This nigga is for real. He don't play that. He don't. He don't have a good relationship with y' all uncle who beat on his girlfriend. Like, he stands on that shit. So good. Good, Right. We need more men to feel that way about women being mistreated.
Kid Fury
So guess what? Your husband losing a friendship with your brother, your brother hating this nigga, your brother maybe wanting to put hands on this nigga, never having anything good to say about this nigga is a consequence of your husband being exactly that. If he's better now, if he's grown, if he's da, da, da. And you're in couples therapy on Paramount and everything is, you know, it's on the up and up.
Crystal
Yeah, y' all in there with Dr. Horner.
Kid Fury
The.
Dissolution of that friendship relationship with your brother is just a consequence of that. Some people, for instance, are, like, have substance abuse issues.
You know, when they're parenting someone young or whatever, and completely traumatize them. Whatever, whatever. That person grows. If that kid as an adult is like, that person's dead to me. Whatever.
Crystal
I get it.
Kid Fury
If. When they change their mind or that is up. But you're going to have to deal with the consequences.
Of your actions.
Crystal
There are consequences? Yeah, there are consequences. This reminds me of that show, mom.
That starred Anna Faris.
Kid Fury
Oh, yeah, Anna Faris, the tall woman.
Crystal
What's that tall lady's name? Alison Janney. Alison Janney.
Kid Fury
Yes, yes, Allison Janney.
Crystal
Anyway, that show was great. It was about a bunch of women, this group of, like, five women who were all dealing with. Recovering from alcohol and drug abuse and their struggles. And in one episode, so the main character has a couple of kids. Her eldest daughter really went through it when her mom was drinking and on drugs, like, had to step up and act like an adult at a very young age. And so she starts a podcast. She grows up, moves out. You know, the daughter does and starts a podcast, talking about her experiences as the child of an alcoholic.
And so her mama, Anna Faris, hears about this podcast. And so she comes over and she's like, you know, can I tell my side of the story? And so she sits down, she does this whole interview with the daughter talking about. And at the end, the daughter says, you know what this is? It sounds like you're in a really great place now. I'm really happy for you. This is the exactly the type of work that you needed to do. It's great. And at the same time, nobody can take back the fact that I was cleaning up puke and didn't know if I would come home and you would be dead or whatever else. And I'm cooking meals and shit, and I'm 8 years old and paying light bills and nobody can change my childhood. I was supposed to be a kid and I never got to have that. And so, no, you cannot have me in your life. I'm doing really well without you. And that's just that.
And, And Anna Faris couldn't do nothing but eat that. You can't do nothing with that because it's true. People can. Yeah, you. Your husband may have been doing all this great work over the past year. He genuinely may have. And your brother don't have to accept that. Again, I'm thinking neutrality is the best you can ask for here. My husband's coming for Christmas. Please, just don't. I'm asking you to just not start nothing. That's all I'm asking. Just if you can pretend he's not there, I would really appreciate it. But wanting them to be buddy buddy and running their small business together and going on, you know, boy trips or whatever, them days is over. Because now he knows how your husband really was and that you can't. He shouldn't be making it about him. But also, like Kid Fury said, sometimes people do need time to adjust to something like that. And I don't know how long it would take me to adjust to my sister's husband being an abuser. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kid Fury
But that's the thing. In time, he could be like, some years from now, he could be like, hey, let's have a conversation. Let's me and you talk. Sit him down in the backyard at the cookout somewhere. Cuss him the fuck out. Hopefully if your husband actually grew he on a Ferris.
Crystal
Cause what can you do?
Kid Fury
They shake hands and now they're cordial. They chit chat over a beer when the. You know what I mean? And, and you're good. But I think what we're saying is you have to respect where your brother is at with it. And at the most, what you can ask for is, yes, it's apathy and just being like, at least let's not incite that. You know, let's try again.
Crystal
Let's do our best to not start shit. Mm.
Kid Fury
Not a chad. Maybe not a hooked.
Maybe not an uppercut. I'm just saying. But, yeah, you got to look.
Crystal
And.
Kid Fury
Like, hey, you said that too. Like, you should want for this to be like, I don't with nobody who abused my sister or any other woman.
Crystal
So. And so my uncle. That you think that don't go double or triple for my sister? Nigga, you not my sister.
Yeah. What you want me to say? Sorry your brother loves you and don't appreciate you being mistreated? Like.
Yeah, baby, I think you. You gotta kind of let go of that dream that things are gonna be all hunky dory, one big happy family, you know, Hallmark movie again, because, yeah, that's not reality. And. And saying, well, you know, I wouldn't be with my husband if he hadn't switched it up. It's probably not gonna have an effect on your brother because you were with your husband when he was still acting like that. So.
Kid Fury
Right.
Crystal
Just. Yeah.
Kid Fury
Good luck finding out afterwards and knowing that you didn't. It was going on and you didn't think you could do anything.
Yeah. You gotta give him a break on that one. Sorry.
Crystal
Yeah. But best of luck to you, Rose. I do genuinely hope you and your husband are in a good place and that he's getting the help he needs and that maybe one day. Because if he is doing that, it will show in the way he acts. Yes, it will show in the way he speaks. You will see a shift in his behavior. And so maybe if he is consistently doing that, then your brother will be like, okay, let's go. Let's go have this conversation where we might fight and we might not.
Kid Fury
Agreed? Agreed.
Crystal
Good luck, though, babe. Thanks for writing in. Please do update us. Let us know or, you know, if you're Rose's brother and you have your side to the story, you can go ahead and eat. Yes, please.
Kid Fury
Let's make that.
Crystal
No, let me tell you exactly what that nigga did. We already on your side, brother.
Kid Fury
Yeah, we're.
Crystal
All right. So that's going to wrap up the letters this week. If you have a question for us, send that on over to asktheread gmail dot com. We're going to take a quick break and be right back. Hey, y', all. Cash app is the fast, safe and easy way to send, receive and transfer money to friends and family we all know and love. Cash Shop is great because you can even personalize your payments with custom text, stamps and backgrounds. And if you're about to send money to a sketchy account, somebody that's not in your phone, etc, a scam warning will pop up to try to keep you safe. It's so easy to get started to just enter your phone or email, no bank account needed. I adore Cash App. Like millions of big sisters worldwide, I downloaded Cash App in order to send my little brother money in college. Just literally begging me every week for $20. And it was so easy to sign up. Thankfully, download that app on my phone, signed up really quickly and send $20 to these broke college students so they can get off my phone, get off my phone. Or you go out to dinner with friends and one person puts the bill on their card. Bam. I just Cash app you real quick girl. Here go my $80. Cause you know, I had an app and a drink and it's just so easy to send money to friends and family and to receive it too. It's just, just so, so simple. Nothing easier than Cash App. And for a limited time only, new Cash App users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real. There is no catch. Just download Cash App and sign up. Use our exclusive referral code. That's what you gotta do. Use our referral code the read in your profile. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right in your account. Terms apply. That's money. That's Cash App.
Kid Fury
Okay, girl. It's holiday season and for the folks planning to give gifts, I can probably predict how that's gonna go for you. You're gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna think of something very fierce and thoughtful and majestic and gag the kids, gag the girlies when it comes down to it. And then life lifes and you run out of time or anxiety kicks you in the butt and you're like, I'm just gonna go down to the local store and get a gift card, put that in another cart and happy holidays. Well, this year you don't have to do that. You can go ahead and skip the panic and give your loved ones an aura frame. Allow them to enjoy unlimited free photo and video uploads. Simply download the Aura app, connect to Wi Fi and start adding memories in seconds to the these digital frames. So you are being thoughtful by making them think about it. What do you want to see? How do you want to feel today in your frame. I love these things. Actually, the first frame like this I got was a gift from my dad many Christmases ago. And I found it to be incredibly furious because I could put all these pictures of them, both my parents, in this frame and have it in my apartment in New York and be like, oh, there they go. And then it was maybe slide over to a photo of Link and then maybe Beyonce and you know, whatever man from Instagram I'm lusting over. The possibilities are endless. So if you're interested for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off auraframes best selling carver met frames named number one by wirecutter by using promo code theread at checkout. That is a u raframes.com promo code. The read this deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out very fast, especially this time of year. So order yours now to get in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Have fun.
All right, folks, we're back and it is now time for.
The read as much as the Alyssa letters. All right.
I just want to talk about this.
Netflix thing.
Crystal
Okay, wait. Oh, the buying thing.
Kid Fury
Hollywood is on life support and it's not looking great and.
I'm just fucking exhausted. So if you haven't heard because you are big blessed.
Netflix is reportedly closing a deal to acquire Warner brothers for like 80 something billion dollars or whatever, which gagged me because I thought I had no money. But that would. The Warner Brothers, their films.
Sinners was Warner Brothers Weapons was Warner Brothers Superman, all the D.C. stuff, that would include HBO.
And HBO, Maxine, that would include.
What'S their other girl over there? Basically everything underneath the Warner Brothers umbrella. Netflix plans to purchase them. And I'm like, oh, great, that's exactly what we need. The folks currently producing Squid Game America to take over.
Prestige film and television. Like.
Netflix, king of losing the plot there. Okay, so get ready to see, you know, the Devil Wears Prada Part two or whatever. I don't even know if that's Warner Brothers, but get ready to see that at your local AMC for 60 hours.
Before it goes straight up to your app. Prepare to Pay upwards of 35, $40 a month, $50 a month for the basic.
Packaging over there. It's just, it's a blast. I'm having so much fun. Um, it's also delicious to hear that, you know, Nepo, baby shark, the little Ellison over there is like, oh, well, we got a Hundred something billion dollars for it. We'll take it. None of you bitches are creative. None of you bitches give a fuck about creativity. None of you bitches give a fuck about talent.
Photos, video, none of that shit. You're just playing Monopoly.
With dreams, with people's dreams and art.
It's boring. It's late. It's AI Field. I'm completely over it. And I honestly don't give a. Who among you buys this. Warner Brothers. I'm just trying to lean into the light.
I'm lightening up towards the end of this year, and I'm looking at a half full year.
Crystal
Yes.
Kid Fury
And I know that. Let me tell you something. Hollywood's been pretty soulless and uninspired for a while.
We still got scissors. We still got scissors.
Scissoring on some scissor things.
But, yeah, through it all, there's always an open door and always an open window. There will always be people who are gonna, like, make the mold, break the mold, things like that. It's just typical capitalism and grossness. And I think this particular president has.
You know, popularized or repopularized. I don't know if that's the word. He's, you know, making greasy palms great again.
Crystal
Yeah, sure. Why not?
Kid Fury
Cares if you know what two and two is. Show me the money. I can't count that. I have a lot of it and I pay people to count it.
Crystal
This is what Joel Santana was talking about.
Kid Fury
Now, that was so boring. I still haven't watched the clip of that because I'm just, like, trying to wrap my mind around the fact.
Crystal
Don't even do that to yourself. Legit. Don't do it.
Kid Fury
I don't think I can.
Crystal
So bad.
Kid Fury
I don't think I can.
Crystal
It's really stupid. So dumb.
Kid Fury
Like, why idiot would you do that? Why would you do that? If it was like, math, maybe I'd be like, all right, because a lot of. But reading. You should want to.
Crystal
Niggas.
Kid Fury
You should just want to know how.
Crystal
Niggas, niggas.
Kid Fury
Everywhere. There are words, and all of them mean something. Sometimes important things like you can't bring a glass into lax.
John F. Kennedy fucking Airport.
Crystal
You better off with a sack full of marijuana than one gun.
Kid Fury
And I am just telling you the truth.
A little bit of cannabis, they might.
Crystal
They don't give up.
Kid Fury
Put your ass in the holy thing and tell you, well, you're not making this flight, but thank you for the weed. We are getting blazed tonight. And we. God bless you. A gun, girl.
Crystal
You're going Right to the pokey.
Kid Fury
Yeah. This whole shit is really driving me crazy. And I'm letting you know, Netflix right now. Don't you put my Maxine inside your Netflix. You better do exactly what Disney just did and give me some tabs, okay? So I can switch over to my Hulu, I can switch over to my Disney, and the ESPN is over there when I'm feeling very bleached. So.
Crystal
The sass on Butch is like, this happens never. It happens never. When are you ever.
Kid Fury
It doesn't.
Boxing and mma.
Crystal
Oh, right. Violence.
Kid Fury
Yeah. Fighting. Oh, and tennis. I watch tennis.
Crystal
Oh, okay.
Kid Fury
Well, I like tennis.
Also, and I want to be a little bit lighter with this because some of y' all have sicknesses, right? But the drinking and driving, we've got to put a lid on. Got to.
Crystal
Y'.
Kid Fury
All.
Crystal
What are we doing?
Kid Fury
We've got to put a lid on the drinking and the driving. There's just no excuse for it anymore. There really never was. But, like, girl, all the rideshare apps.
Crystal
Yeah. You cannot. You just cannot. I'm sorry.
Kid Fury
In the US alone, about 12,400 people die from drunk driving crashes a year. I just read on Google.
Roughly 30% of all traffic deaths, and that's not including the thousands of additional injuries.
Don't. It's for what?
I think many people above a certain age who've been driving most of their life can say, oh, I had a little bit too much to drink. I should have been driving. I was a little buzzed off of two drinks or whatever.
But you girls are getting plastered and grabbing your keys, and I just don't get it. Please stop. And if you need help.
Find it. Matter of fact, what's the number?
Crystal
Oh, you mean like legit the. The hotline number? Yeah, yeah. Because this is. Again, with ride share apps. If you. You have to budget the cost of a ride share into your night of going out, you just have to. Sorry. Or live somewhere like New York, where you can just stumble onto the train for $3 at 4am and it might take you an hour and a half to get home, but you'll get there and not hurt nobody else in the process.
Kid Fury
This is giving me 911.
Crystal
Oh, damn. They said emergency.
Kid Fury
Yeah, but, like, I think that you can just Google.
Like, alcohol help. Alcohol addiction help, Alcohol Anonymous. Because a lot of these are specific to different states, cities, counties, and sorts. Sorts of things like that. But maybe nobody else has said it rung your bell. Sometimes you need a stranger bitch to say it. If you need some help with the Drinking. Go. Please. Give peace a chance, but don't go to the steering wheel of a car. Enough, girl.
Enough.
Crystal
Try findtreatment.gov it's part of SAMHSA, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
To, you know, just find somebody. Because. Yeah, 911988. That is really for crisis stuff. But, yeah.
Kid Fury
Yeah.
That'S it.
Crystal
Okay, for me.
Sydney Sweeney, step to the front.
Kid Fury
What now, Juggs?
Crystal
Well, you remember, like, a month or two ago when she sat down and had that interview and the lady asked her about all the backlash, and she was like, I think when I have something to say, I'll say it.
Kid Fury
I'll say it.
Crystal
Well, apparently, now that her third movie has flopped in a row, she has decided she has something to say. And unsurprisingly, that something is. Oh, my God, you guys, I never meant white supremacy. Like, why would I be talking about that? So she said she was shocked by the reaction. She did the ad because she loves the jeans. She loves the brand. She doesn't support the views that some people chose to connect to the campaign and that, you know, you guys have just been putting all kinds of motives and labels on her that just aren't true. You know, she leads with kindness. And everybody who knows her and her jugs knows that she is always trying to bring people together. Okay? She is against hate and divisiveness. And sure, in the past, her stance was not to respond to you niggas talking shit, because who cares? But recently, she's come to realize after her third consecutive movie flop, that her silence regarding this issue has only made things worse. And so hopefully now in the new year, because she is promoting yet another film, hopefully now y' all will let it go and go see her movies so that she can continue to be booked and to have a job. And to all that, I want to say, Sydney Sweeney, it is extremely hollow for you to have this message now when, again, this is on the heels of that movie. Was it Christie, the movie about the boxer that just came out? I think that's the name that movie made, like, I don't know, $10,000 or something. Some terrible. So.
Kid Fury
Well, it wasn't good.
Crystal
Well, and that I've heard. And I've heard that same thing, that Sydney Sweeney had no business playing that girl. That's. That's the exact same thing I've heard. So it sounds kind of like she take whatever job she can get. Which, I mean, I. I'm not necessarily mad at that in particular. A lot of us would. But right to be like, oh, well, now, several months later, you know, five, six months later, I'm finally going to respond to this and say some people said things that I didn't really agree with about it. And I don't know why you guys are acting like that. Because I wear jeans. Like, I literally wear jeans every day. Like, I'm wearing jeans and a T shirt. Like, I love jeans. She. That is what she said. And I'm just saying you weren't even specific enough. You didn't even say, oh, my God. I didn't even think that it could be interpreted as genes, like genetic DNA, type of genes. Oh, my goodness.
Kid Fury
Yeah. How could you?
Crystal
I stand against white supremacy. I stand against Donald Trump and all the people. You didn't even get that specific. You just said people said things that weren't true. And I don't believe in hate and divisiveness. So everybody be nice and come together. Girl, that and you, American Eagle said the same thing after the backlash was basically like, you know, this is just about jeans and da, da, da. That's exactly what y' all would say to get us to let it go. You really want me to believe that nobody. All the extremely overpaid people who had to be in the room to. To develop this concept, to. To write a script, to set up a shoot, and to spend probably multiple days working on, like.
And you want me to believe that nobody thought, huh?
Kid Fury
At least, like, two days.
Crystal
Nobody said, hmm? It kind of gives white supremacy. No, you. You did it because it gives white supremacy. Because it has two meanings. Because if there was backlash, you could just lean on the. Oh, my God. It's about genes. Why are y' all being weird? That's literally why y' all did it. And that's why you did it with Sydney goddamn Sweeney and not Alandria or some shit. That's literally why you did it. That's. That's literally what this is.
Kid Fury
Right? Right?
Crystal
Just cut the shit, okay? American Eagle don't care because the white supremacists went and bought up all them jeans. So they said, y' all should be mad as you want to. This shit is selling. Sydney Sweeney has a problem because it turns out that the homosexuals who support film and television don't appreciate that bullshit. And you need us to go back to the movies and spend tickets on your things. It won't be me, darling. It won't be me. I personally feel like I can see right through this bullshit, but not in.
Kid Fury
Anything where you're leading. No, you better go get Some.
Crystal
No, not one single. You have to be in small print and not on the poster. I didn't even know you was in it until it was too late for me to see us.
Kid Fury
Six phone.
Crystal
Oh, yeah.
Kid Fury
Like, you know, I just don't know.
Crystal
Why you guys are being so weird. Where was all of this when it first happened? Like, if I accidentally, like, if I mistakenly said something that had a double meaning rooted in.
Do we really even have to do this? Like, it just seems like the sort of thing that you either care strongly about or you don't. You heard. You heard the way all these racists were talking about your ad and the way the maga swirled around it and you just, just ate it up. I would have been sick at the idea that Donald Trump approved of something I did.
Kid Fury
And vomiting her people, agents, management, whoever are, we're probably like, oh, this is so good for president. So good for blah, blah. We had this movie coming out the same way. Them same people are probably like, you know, say something. Yeah, we know that you love Trump and you hate niggas, but like, just you say something that kind of gives, you know, like mystery. Just, you know, give him a little something, but don't give him too much or some whatever. And that's exactly what this is. It is, but I feel the same way. It's like, girl, them ads were not like playing Tupac backwards to hear a hidden message. Bitch.
Crystal
It was.
Kid Fury
The double meaning was the ad. You literally say jeans are pastel.
Crystal
And.
Kid Fury
They'Re including.
Hair color and shape and lips. What the fuck that got to do with these, bitch? Like, you know what the ad was. You're not that damn dumb. Neither is anybody else for that company. Why are you trying to piss on people?
Crystal
So again, I see right through this bullshit. But you had to do something because.
Kid Fury
Yes, it did. Swimming.
Swimming.
Crystal
You're not going to see none of that shit. So.
Yeah, that happened. And then also very quickly, Cedric the Entertainer girl, for what? No, what? You said earlier that celebrities had been talking about the Puffy documentary. I thought you was gonna bring this up. I'm glad you didn't. He was talking to big boy and Big boy was like, oh, my God, have you heard about the puff documentary? And Cedric was like, no, but I'm gonna just say this, this how I feel about it.
Don't tell us.
He said, I really feel like, you know, Puff got ran over in this whole situation. They made a big ass spectacle about this. It's not that big of a deal. You know, by the end of the trial. I just feel like everybody knew that, you know, this was just stuff that consenting adults can do. And he really should have been in trouble for the Cassie video. Like, you need to do time for that beating on that woman like that. But otherwise, you know, this is just stuff that any adults can do with consent. And I would just like to say that is the whole point. Drugging people and sexually assaulting them is the literal opposite of consent.
Kid Fury
It just is.
Crystal
It is kidnapping people and holding them against their will in order to terrify their friends and family or get whatever else you want out of them. That is not consent. The whole problem is that consent wasn't a part of this. You right, he can have whatever kind of freaky ass orgies he want to with people of all sexes and genders and whatever the fuck else. As long as everybody is 18 plus and consenting, you can do whatever the fuck you want sexually. He did not have consent. That's what we're talking about, Cedric. So I don't understand how you feel like Puffy got a raw deal out of this and all the stuff they said he did, you know, that was just freaky stuff. And. And consenting adults can do what they want. That. That's literally what we're saying, that consent wasn't a part of this, that he coerced people, that he drugged people like that. He went to Links to get people outside of them saying, hey, Puff, I would like to do XYZ sex things with you.
Kid Fury
Also allegedly recorded sexual things happening without people.
Crystal
This is. People are passed out.
And. Okay, so like, just right, like, what.
Kid Fury
Are you talking about? This is not a secret.
Crystal
I don't know why it's so hard for y' all to understand that. Like, I legit don't even know why he said that. Like blackmailing people. None of that is consensual. The murders.
What are you saying?
Kid Fury
God, worse than likely. Like, what are you.
Crystal
So, Cedric, I just really wish you had said, oh, man, I. I heard he's. He's. Because he said, oh, somebody told me about the doc. They clearly shot this before the doc came out. And Big Boy was like, oh, it's coming out. And Cedric said, oh, somebody told me about that last night. You know, that's crazy. Blah, blah. I don't know if I' ma watch it, but you know.
The. I just sending my best to all the victims. That Cassie video was crazy. Something like that. You could have just kept it like that or you could have said, oh, I didn't know nothing about it. Blah, blah, blah. Like. Like, there's just so many avenues for you to take other than, well, you know, most of this really not that big of a deal. And y' all just making a lot out of nothing. Consenting adults, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like you didn't even consider the reality that consent wasn't a part of what that was doing over there with that. Take that. Take that like that. It's.
What is. What's not clicking.
Kid Fury
I don't know. Also, there's so many men are so stupid examples of niggas making this poor decision.
Crystal
Yeah.
Kid Fury
That I don't know why niggas are still doing it either.
Crystal
It's so strange to me. I cannot understand it. But, yeah, I said, let me go ahead and throw Cedric over here too. Yeah. Cause you could just not. Nigga, it honestly makes me wonder what's in your closet. But I'll leave that alone because it could be nothing. And it could just be one man sticking up for another man. Because that's what y' all do.
Kid Fury
Right? That's the first thing I think of is like, y' all go back, blah, blah, blah. You have some sort of connections, friends.
Crystal
Yeah.
Kid Fury
But it's like, you just be like, man, can we talk about something else?
Crystal
Oh, man, I don't know nothing about that. That Cassie video was crazy. But, yeah, you know, what else you got on your little notepad?
Kid Fury
Anything but what you're.
Crystal
Oh, so, yeah, go right ahead and yourself for that one, brother. And yes. Yeah, I think that'll wrap up this week's episode of the Read. Check us out on social media at. This is the Read. Our website is. This is the read.com. thank you again to Patreon for the beautiful billboard in Times Square that will be up for the next nine days. So if you are in Times Square, okay. And you see it, take a picture and tag me. I would love to see you guys with my billboard. Thank you, Deontay Kyle, for being on this week's episode of Chris Couch. Lord, we had a time at Chris Cows chrysaliscouch.com It's a bit of a target. Just a little bit, you know? And yeah, new Patreon. Patreon.com crystalscouch.
Sign up for bonus content and other, et cetera, fun things. Do you have any announcements or news this week, Kid Fury?
Kid Fury
Just the usual. KidFury.com, patreon.com KidFury for holiday cheer. I have a video I'm working on right now that is probably one of.
My favorite things I've ever done. It includes my dog.
Crystal
And the diva is working.
Kid Fury
Once this I. Yeah, I laughed. Okay, so there's that.
Crystal
Can't wait.
Kid Fury
And yeah, be good to yourselves and others. Give yourself a break. Give others a break. It's a shit show out to you.
Crystal
It is.
Kid Fury
Consider that.
Crystal
It really is.
Kid Fury
We're all in the same shit show. The way that Sydney Me is on the same planet with the same Internet as Tabitha. We're all in this together. And the rest of what? High School Musical.
Crystal
All right, girls, take care of yourselves. We will see y' all next week.
And this episode's also brought to you by L.L. bean. The L.L. bean flannel has been part of the holidays for over a century. It's cozy, reliable, and made to last. That shirt that you wear with when you pick out your tree and when you're at home relaxing with a warm cup of cocoa. And it's the one you wear in the family photo where somehow everybody is matching even without trying. I love a cute, cozy flannel during the holidays when I am running around with my little cousins or cooking in the kitchen with my aies, walking around looking at the Christmas lights, things like that. It's just so lovely. So go check out L.L. bean Flannel. Invited to the holidays since 1912. Hey, y'. All. Crystal and Kifiri here. Thank you for tuning into the read each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.
This episode of The Read features Kid Fury and Crissle in their classic shade-throwing, humorous form as they discuss the festive season in New York, highlight Black excellence, break down big pop culture topics (including Met Gala co-chairs, celebrity shenanigans, the Diddy documentary, and listener letters), and share genuinely heartfelt as well as side-splitting commentary. As always, no star is safe—except Beyoncé.
[01:26 - 05:17]
[06:30 - 11:01]
[11:24 - 17:14]
[17:18 - 21:43]
[22:33 - 24:19]
[24:46 - 31:09]
[31:12 - 34:42]
[37:08 - 49:58]
[50:15 - 57:14]
[57:48 - 59:14]
[65:16 - 77:29]
[77:31 - 90:45]
[95:09 - 104:04]
[104:07 - 115:44]
“I hope you’re having a white Christmas in terms of snow and serenity and a Black Christmas in terms of everything else.”
— Kid Fury [02:09]
“Go fuck yourselves.”
— Crissle, to LA weather-braggers [05:53]
“You get to a point where you’re like, I actually, I am accepting Auntie.”
— Crissle [08:52]
“Why would you say that to me?” (re: Beyoncé at the Met Gala)
— Crissle [16:43]
“She’s behaving horribly, Monica.”
— Kid Fury, about the viral Monica clip [18:47]
“I’d rather call Natalie Nunn and go on Baddies than go on Blueface’s OnlyFans show.”
— Crissle [31:53]
“If I could do a split and my feet could touch both sides, it’s not a yacht.”
— Kid Fury [26:30]
“Poly people will do whatever they want in the name of freedom or whatever, I guess.”
— Sydney, listener letter [70:20]
“Your brother is completely valid… trying to get him to be happy for you is wild.”
— Kid Fury [81:56]
“Drugging people and sexually assaulting them is the literal opposite of consent.”
— Crissle (re: Diddy allegations) [112:12]
Warm, candid, witty, occasionally exasperated. Loyal to Black community, queer/kinky culture, no patience for hypocrisy, and always ready for a sharp aside or a vulnerable insight. Both hosts are unafraid to challenge problematic behavior—celebrity or not—while sprinkling in personal stories, pop culture references, and heartfelt advice.
Another classic episode of The Read: equal parts messy and meaningful. Between laughs about lesbian drama and pop culture, Kid Fury and Crissle offer cultural critique, solidarity, and earnest reminders to choose joy, growth, and boundaries this holiday season.