In Part 2 of Derek Mathews’ story, the Lord keeps pulling back the curtain on a lie Derek didn’t even realize was still running his spiritual life: the idea that God is distant—powerful, yes—but cold, static, and impressed only by performance. Derek shares how God began rewriting that image, not just with new information, but with a new experience—the kind that turns fear-driven striving into rest, and turns “servant or soldier” into something far more personal: son.

Derek walks straight into a third “wall”: deep church hurt, spiritual and emotional abuse from leadership, and the gut-wrenching decision to leave a place he loved. Yet even there, God meets him in the Word—especially in Ezekiel 34—with a promise that lands like oxygen: when human shepherds fail, the Lord Himself will search for His sheep and care for them.

This episode is raw, discerning, and full of hope in hard times. If you’ve ever tried to earn God’s love, felt disoriented by leadership failure, or wondered whether you can trust Him in grief and uncertainty, Derek’s journey will remind you: Jesus doesn’t just point the way—He walks with you through the wall, carries you when you’re weak, and leads you into deeper freedom.

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Thanks for watching the video Derek Mathews: The Grief of Loss, Spiritual Wounds, and a New Calling (Testimony) | EP #59

Guest: Derek Mathews

Host: Chad Beck

Sound By: Steven Cooley

Edited by: The Real Jesus Experience