24 Hours on Tour with Kevin Gates | the really good podcast

Summary

Podcast Summary: Not This Again with Bobbi Althoff

Episode: 24 Hours on Tour with Kevin Gates
Host: Bobbi Althoff
Guest: Kevin Gates
Release Date: November 18, 2025

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Overview

In this energetic and often offbeat episode, Bobbi Althoff joins rapper Kevin Gates for an immersive “day-in-the-life” on tour. The conversation takes place primarily in Gates’ custom tour bus, offering an intimate look at his pre-show rituals, deep dives into philosophy and self-improvement, life on the road, and plenty of comedic banter. Listeners are taken along for live show reflections, candid confessions, and quirky insights—capturing Gates’ unique brand of optimism, humor, and intensity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Life on Tour & Pre-Show Rituals

• Exclusive Access: Kevin describes how notoriously private his inner circle is, noting layers of “gates” to even get to him on tour. (01:29)
  • “Usually nobody rides with Kevin. …You got to really know somebody to get through the gate… Then when you get through that gate, gotta know you to get to Kevin.” — Kevin Gates (01:29)
• Personal Transformation: Gates shares his pride at being able to fit into smaller clothes now, explaining how weight loss was a milestone for him.
  • “This was my dream, to be able to fit like Zara medium. …I’m no longer titty man.” — Kevin Gates (01:29)
• Pre-Show Nerves: Despite his formidable persona, Kevin admits feeling nervous before performing, citing genuine care for his craft.
  • “I’m nervous.” — KG (02:55)
  • “Cause I care. I don’t wanna make no mistake. …But it don’t matter if somebody see me make mistakes, as long as they don’t see me quit.” — Kevin Gates (02:57–03:06)

On-Stage Reflections & Unique Fan Experiences

• Show Differences by City: Gates claims each city has a different energy, especially hyping up future shows in Nashville.
  • “When we get to Nashville, it’s going to be even more intense… Nashville love me different.” — Kevin Gates (04:35–04:44)
• Fan Connection: Bobbi observes fans getting emotionally overwhelmed, likening the concert to a church experience. Gates recognizes the spiritual impact of his shows.
  • “Did you see the people crying at your show?” — Bobbi (20:16)
    “Yeah.” — Kevin Gates
• Stage Vibes: Gates brings Bobbi onstage, using the moment both to boost his mood and deepen audience connection.
  • “I gotta do something to give me good energy… I’m not nervous no more ’cause you go.” — Kevin Gates (05:11–05:17)

Confidence, Self-Talk, and Mindset

• Positive Self-Talk: Gates is adamant about the power of mindset and reframing negative self-talk.
  • “No negative self talk… It was like a reminder for me to not say it.” — Kevin Gates (17:02–17:24)
  • “Something good come from everything bad.” — Kevin Gates (18:10)
• Turning Setbacks to Growth: Discusses reframing setbacks, even something as serious as a car accident, as opportunities for growth or connection.
  • “That’s a very valuable lesson. Who knows what it prevented me from?” — Kevin Gates (18:57–19:09)

Philosophy, Immortality & Identity

• Immortality Claims: Gates jokes about being “immortal”—older than his documented age, while also referencing past lives as a warlord and even “kicking it with Moses.”
  • “On paper I’m 39, but I’m really immortal.” — Kevin Gates (12:25–12:28)
  • “I was here, like, Bible days. Like, I used to kick it with Moses.” — Kevin Gates (16:11)
• On Reincarnation & Identity: Explores tongue-in-cheek ideas about reincarnation, stating he’s always been himself, and that he adapts when people get suspicious that he doesn’t age.
  • “I gotta go get a new passport and I gotta be a new person.” — Kevin Gates (12:34)

Food, Fasting, and Health Rituals

• Extreme Fasting: Gates details going as long as 42 days with only liquids, seeking clarity and spiritual connection.
  • “The longest I ever fasted? 42 days.” — Kevin Gates (27:35)
  • “Because I wanted to be closer, to be able to hear the spirit of God talk… Your stomach is your first brain.” — Kevin Gates (28:05–28:39)
• On Hunger: Contrasts his disciplined approach to eating with Bobbi’s love for food, teasing her frequent meals.
  • “I just ate some, like, two pieces of fish.” — KG (30:20)
  • “Does that mean I’m hungry? Because I’m full of love. I don’t need food.” — KG (30:26)

Home Life & Energy

• Property & Privacy: Gates is meticulous about personal space, not renting out homes he lives in, protecting his “energy” from others.
  • “I’m real protective of my energy… I don’t want some smelly guy just, you know, laying in my bed. …My plants might not like them.” — Kevin Gates (39:34–40:09)
• Naming Plants: Reveals a quirky side by naming all his plants (Lil Baby, Big Mama) and even occasionally traveling with them, sometimes influenced by mushrooms.
  • “Sometimes I take my snake plants in the truck with me.” — KG (41:39)
  • “Why you the first person I ever told I did it?” — Kevin Gates (42:32)

Humor, Games & Awkward Moments

• Games & Nighttime Routine: Bobbi tries to instigate games like Imposter and board games, but Kevin is resistant, preferring philosophical games and fitness.
  • “I want to play this game called Fitness.” — KG (58:38)
• Playful Bartering: They joke about bets, strength, and the impossibility of ever being ‘even’ with owed money.
  • “As long as you owe me, I’ll never be broke.” — KG (25:56)
• Awkward Silences: Both address initial intimidation and awkwardness, with Bobbi likening Kevin to a tiger—beautiful, but formidable.
  • “You are not a teddy bear. Yes, you are fucking tiger.” — KG (36:25)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "As long as they don't see me quit." — Kevin Gates on making mistakes on stage (03:06)
• "I'm really immortal. Thousands of years." — Kevin Gates (12:28)
• "No negative self talk." — Kevin Gates (17:02)
• “Something good come from everything bad.” — Kevin Gates (18:10)
• "Growth happens in times of discomfort." — Kevin Gates (20:06)
• "I'm a fucking world class chef." — KG on his cooking prowess (32:19)
• "Everything’s better when you do it with love." — KG (34:24)
• "You are not a teddy bear. Yes, you are fucking tiger." — KG (36:25)
• "Sometimes I take my snake plants in the truck with me." — KG (41:39)
• “As long as you owe me, I’ll never be broke.” — KG (25:56)
• "Nothing is louder than an unoccupied mind." — KG (45:19)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Getting through “the gates” to Kevin — 01:29
• Pre-show anxiety & self-reflection — 02:55–03:09
• Bringing Bobbi on stage, building energy — 05:11
• Concert impact, fans crying — 20:16–21:12
• Mindset & self-talk discussion — 17:02–19:09
• Immortality riffs — 12:25–16:11
• Fasting & health rituals — 27:05–30:26
• Cooking and food philosophy — 32:14–34:24
• Plant-naming and plant travel story — 40:11–42:36
• Bed and property talk — 39:01–39:49
• Final playful banter & bedtime routine — 52:10–54:09

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Tone & Dynamics

The conversation is a lively blend of introspective reflection, comic improvisation, and candid confession. Kevin Gates oscillates between larger-than-life proclamations, vulnerability, and deadpan humor. Bobbi navigates with her trademark awkward wit, poking at Gates’ eccentricities while holding her own.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a masterclass in chemistry and unscripted conversation. Bobbi and Kevin’s dynamic unlocks unexpected sides of both: we see Gates as philosopher, comic, artist, disciplined ascetic, and warm father figure—with Bobbi acting as both foil and earnest confidant. The real takeaways come from Gates’ life lessons (“No negative self talk,” “Growth happens in discomfort,” “Everything’s better with love”)—delivered between tales of fasting, cooking, stage fright, naming plants, and refusing to play board games. Whether you’re a fan of Gates or just love a unique chat, this episode is a rich tour-bus ride through vulnerability, wisdom, and laughter.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Usually nobody rides with Kevin. This like four knocks. You got to really know somebody to get through the gate. And then when you get through the gate, a gotta know you to get to the other gate. Then when you get through that gate, gotta know you to get to Kevin. Right here, take our production manager, put all of this together. And this is. This design specifically is the first of its kind. This is custom. This is like designed strictly for me. This is from Zara. Excuse me? Zada. Oh yeah, this is from Zada. And this is a medium that was my dream, to be able to fit Zara. Cuz I was like fat like 300 something pounds. Like titty man. I'm no longer titty man. So this was my dream to be able to fit like Zara medium. So this I can still.

[A]

Is that what you do? Oh, what are you doing? What's happening? It's stretching. It looks beautiful. Are you excited for your show right now?

[B]

I'm nervous.

[A]

Why are you nervous?

[B]

Cause I care.

[A]

Care about what?

[B]

I don't wanna make no mistake.

[A]

Have you made any mistakes?

[B]

I always make mistakes.

[A]

You're probably gonna make some though.

[B]

But it don't matter if somebody see me make mistakes, as long as they don't see me quit.

[A]

But what do you do to warm up?

[B]

Free my daughter out of snow. Love my children and their Mama stay clutching my amities they didn't kill us when I'm on them no love for the week Beefing with my chick while I'm in jail Try not to click out bomb restriction can't make bail Mine's it gone with all this well, I ain't called in a minute Ain't bald in a minute can't wait to see them stars in the ceiling Free all of my hills.

[A]

Kevin.

[B]

Bobby.

[A]

Kevin. How was your show?

[B]

You were there.

[A]

How did you.

[B]

How was your experience?

[A]

My experience was lovely. Had 0.0complaints. It was great to see. Is it? Do all of your shows look the same or are they all different?

[B]

When we get to Nashville, it's going to be even more intense.

[A]

More, yeah.

[B]

Nashville. Love me different.

[A]

Really? Have you been there before? How many times? I lost track that many times?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[B]

They love me different. You gonna see.

[A]

They loved you a lot tonight. They're so loud and excited. I had the headphones on where I could only hear what you heard. So that was kind of cool. And then you pulled me on stage with you all.

[B]

I gotta do something to give me good energy. Hey, Vibe.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Thank you for coming him. I'm not nervous no more. I'm not nervous cuz you go. Thank you. Yeah, cuz you had to get up there. I had to let him know I was nervous. But since you came.

[A]

Bill, thanks. Thanks for that. That was fun. It was. I've never been on stage before.

[B]

Not once?

[A]

No. Well, Suki tried to drag me, but I didn't let her.

[B]

All of those big rapper and entertainer, singers and rappers, they never brought you on stage to the concert?

[A]

I've only been to one concert.

[B]

They never just brought. You said, come on, Bobby.

[A]

It was one time. No, he didn't.

[B]

Come on, little Bobby. I saw you at a concert before.

[A]

Which one? In real life.

[B]

I swear to God.

[A]

Like in real life. We saw each other.

[B]

California.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Not enough to think about it. That was you?

[A]

I've only been to one concert in California.

[B]

It was. Yeah. That was you.

[A]

You saw me at Drake's concert?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Really? What was I doing?

[B]

I was in the friends and family section and when I came around, you was like, right there.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I said, that's that girl that be interviewing people. But it ain't registered with in my brain then. But I just thought about it and I was like. I said, that's that girl be interviewing people. This was before. Like you ever interviewed me. And then once we interviewed, I was like, if I knew that she was Lil Bobby but you wasn't Little Bobby. You really wasn't Little Bobby.

[A]

Then what was I?

[B]

The girl that be interviewing people?

[A]

Do you know I tried to interview when I first started. I think I told you this, but I tried to. I had like, that was one of everyone commented on every single video and was like, interview Kevin Gates. Bobby. Interview Kevin Gates. So it was on my bucket list to interview you. And then when your team, when like my team told me that they were talking to your team, I was like, no way am I going to interview him.

[B]

Yes way.

[A]

And now here I am in your. Whatever this is called the motorhome. In your motorhome, is it? What is it? Well, don't fuck with me. What is it?

[B]

This would be considered like a star coach. Cause like how they got the bunk area and then in the back they got. It's a queen size bed.

[A]

That's where you sleep.

[B]

It's cluttered, but you can see it.

[A]

It's cluttered. You didn't clean it from earlier. You didn't have time.

[B]

It's more arranged now, but it's still stuff.

[A]

Clothes everywhere.

[B]

Nah, it ain't clothes everywhere. It's like shopping bags.

[A]

And where were you shopping?

[B]

Don't, don't, don't beat me up.

[A]

Where were you shopping?

[B]

Alo.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I wasn't trying to cheat on Lulu.

[A]

But it's like, wait, there's one over here.

[B]

They got a aloe like 15 minutes from here.

[A]

You went shopping before your show today?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't picture you shopping.

[B]

I hate shopping.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I swear to God.

[A]

Are these the new socks you got?

[B]

Yeah, I got me some socks.

[A]

They're great socks. They look comfortable.

[B]

Yeah, they are.

[A]

Wait, is this whole outfit new?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is it all from aloe?

[B]

Yeah, but the, the, the boxer briefs came from Lululemon.

[A]

Oh, that feels wrong. You can't mix mix companies, can you?

[B]

We go tit for tat and Neiman Marcus going down, buying this and that.

[A]

You, you can do anything you want.

[B]

I wear Air Force ones with Adidas because Adidas don't mean what it mean to everybody else. What it mean to me?

[A]

What does it mean to you?

[B]

All day I dream about stacks. I don't understand Adidas. All day I dream about stacks. A D, I D, A S. That's.

[A]

Just what it means to you, not anybody else.

[B]

All day I dream about stacks. Your Latino get no cream. What you think about that? Hard to think about that. Loving on my wrist. Need to find the nearest mirror. Cause I'm loving on my yo.

[A]

You know what surprises me about you?

[B]

What?

[A]

You have a pretty voice. It's like a. It's a pretty voice.

[B]

Pretty.

[A]

It's a pretty voice. I don't know how else to describe it.

[B]

Now, if you were to say beautiful.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, you're right.

[B]

I'd have been like, angelic.

[A]

I was gonna say angelic. That came to my head too, but. But it's pretty. It's pretty beautiful.

[B]

Because when you say pretty, that makes it seem like. Like sassy.

[A]

No, I didn't say. Well, I don't put words in my mouth.

[B]

I'm not. I'm just saying like I had a singing voice.

[A]

Can you have a sassy singing? Well, yours is a little sassy.

[B]

He was like, you have a really pretty voice.

[A]

Is that what it.

[B]

You know, I got all the tattoos and diamond teeth and shit.

[A]

Well, don't you feel like that's maybe why I said it was surprising? Because I don't expect a pretty voice. I don't know. To give a really pretty singing voice.

[B]

I'm gonna take this. Thank you.

[A]

It's a compliment.

[B]

I'm flattered. I'm flattered.

[A]

I wouldn't sit here and insult you.

[B]

I know you wouldn't.

[A]

If it was a bad voice, I would say nothing. Nothing. Actually, I still don't.

[B]

Have you ever heard somebody who had a horrible singing voice?

[A]

Haven't we all? Lots of me. First of all me. I have a horrible singing voice. Have you seen that TikTok trend where it's like seeing if I can sing so I can quit my day job?

[B]

No.

[A]

And then they both just sit there and try to sing a song. I tried to do it with my sister and I've never. I never realized how horrible I am at singing until we tried.

[B]

You ever took vocal training?

[A]

Have you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, I haven't. Do people take that when they're not trying to do that for a living? That'd be weird if I did that.

[B]

No, it's different. It open you up to a whole nother way of looking at life. Like, it's like breath control on like 1000.

[A]

What about the biddy doing it?

[B]

How to breathe, how to. It's a lot that go into it and warming your vocal cords up before you. It's like. It's like being a singing athlete. It's like you gotta do the exercises. You gotta do the exercises even when you're not singing.

[A]

Okay, that makes sense. Did juju have a bad voice before? You did.

[B]

Wasn't the best.

[A]

How old were you when you started singing?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

[B]

No, like when I started taking it serious. Maybe like2014.

[A]

You were old then. How old are you now? You're 40. 41. 39. 37.

[B]

On paper I'm 39, but I'm really immortal.

[A]

I forgot this.

[B]

Thousands of years.

[A]

Okay, year. Thousands of 39 on paper.

[B]

That's what it says on paper. But then when I outlive this life, I gotta go get a new passport and I gotta be a new person. It's okay not to be perfect with finances.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

No, it's just the truth.

[A]

You're immortal. You really believe that?

[B]

I don't believe it. I know it.

[A]

But you've only lived 39 years and.

[B]

You'Ve decided that on this sheet of paper?

[A]

Okay. Do you know of the last sheets of paper that you. Fucking right you did. What did you do in those lives?

[B]

Kind of like similar. I didn't been. I didn't. I didn't wore a lot of different hats. I haven't been a surgeon, a doctor, even.

[A]

A surgeon?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you ever been a little. A little white girl?

[B]

But I'm Good. Back in. Back in.

[A]

There's never a time where you were.

[B]

Me in the mid-1400s. I was like, this warlord. Pretty cool. It's just times have changed now. But I was just a real. A warlord, a real warrior. I was badass, too.

[A]

What do you want to be next time?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Me.

[B]

It might be like, why won't you.

[A]

Say anything to that? You don't want to be me in one of your lives.

[B]

No, it's not like that. Like, see, that's people that dying reincarnated.

[A]

Oh, you're not getting. You're just here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you always been 39? Like, you looked 39.

[B]

If I grow my facial hair out, I could go for that, but, you know, once you've been knowing somebody 20 years, you can't just tell them, hey, and be like, hold on. I knew you when I was 17, and now you still look the same.

[A]

And is that what they tell you?

[B]

Yeah, I just got to move around, go different places. Yep.

[A]

What a story.

[B]

Every now and then you got somebody that, like an old person. Walk up to me. I know you. You used to be like, not me.

[A]

Not. Not me.

[B]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[A]

You were 14 when you started singing, though.

[B]

Nah, 2014. Oh, 2014.

[A]

But how. What year were you maybe born potentially in this life?

[B]

I was here, like, Bible days. Like, I used to kick it with Moses and shit.

[A]

Okay. How old Were you in 2014 is what I'm trying to ask.

[B]

On this sheet of paper, just subtract 39 from whatever year we in.

[A]

I hate math. I'm so bad at it. 39 from whatever year we're. Okay. No, that's not how to do it. What year were you born on the sheet of paper?

[B]

Like, 86, I think.

[A]

1986 plus. No, that's bad. 2014 minus 1986.

[B]

I was here in the Bible days, and. And I used to be.

[A]

You were 28 years old when you started singing?

[B]

Probably on this sheet of paper.

[A]

You were 20 years old. 28 on this. That's how old I am now. So maybe I can sing.

[B]

Yeah. It's never too late to start.

[A]

I think that might be the one thing that there is, like, a. It's never gonna happen.

[B]

Never say never. No negative self talk.

[A]

That's you. Do you give a lot of good messages during your.

[B]

No, because I used to. I used to like, no, you don't do a lot of negative self talk. And it wasn't really profitable for me, so I just like if somebody say something negative about themselves, I'd be like, no negative self talk. It was like a reminder for me to not say it.

[A]

Also, you don't ever say anything negative about yourself.

[B]

Yeah, sometimes.

[A]

No negative tone.

[B]

I might bump my big toe and be like, you fucking dummy. And I just. Kevin, no negative self talk.

[A]

I should try that. Did it change you? Did it make you a better person?

[B]

Yeah, I mean I don't get mad when I bow my big toe.

[A]

What about the other toes?

[B]

I think the big toe's so big he just take up all the space. So it's like bing. And I'd be like, you fucking?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now I'd be like, no negative self talk. It was something in the universe that was meant for you to bump your big toe. Cause it stimulated some nerve that made you more genius. I just make up something positive to go with it.

[A]

About everything. Anything that bad that happens.

[B]

Yeah. Cause something good come from everything bad.

[A]

Is that true?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you like crash your car, how do you just make that good in your head? It's not like bad, but it's like $40,000 of damage.

[B]

I crashed it. Or somebody hit me.

[A]

You crashed it. It was your fault. You weren't looking for a second.

[B]

Give me a scenario like what I was doing.

[A]

You were driving on the freeway.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You looked down at your phone for two seconds and then you swiped the side and now it's $40,000 of damage.

[B]

If I was to do something like that. I swiped the side of my car. So the person. Did I hit somebody or you hit the. The guardrail?

[A]

Yeah. It's still $40,000 of damage. Are you gonna be okay with that?

[B]

Yeah, I'm cool with it.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

$40,000 isn't a lot.

[B]

I mean it is a lot, but that's a very valuable lesson.

[A]

I had to learn a forty thousand dollar lesson.

[B]

Who knows what it prevented me from.

[A]

Yeah, like a hundred thousand dollar.

[B]

No, something even worse.

[A]

That's a good way to think of things.

[B]

I don't know. Something good always happened. Like even if I did scrape the side of the car, I might have was meant to go to the collision center. My blessing probably was there somebody else. Probably the woman of my dream probably swiped the side of her car and we like, hey, we're twins.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It'll be. It's weird shit that happened. Like you never know how you gonna get there, but you just get there.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

And people like, where's there? Like you know, there.

[A]

I don't know where you're pointing to.

[B]

You just gotta keep going. It's gonna be all kinds of shit. Go somewhere, there's gonna be all kind of shit. But you gotta just keep.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

It's going to have bumps, you're going to have hiccups. It's going to be shit that there's going to be uncomfortable shit. But shit growth happens in times of discomfort.

[A]

Did you see the people crying at your show?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy. They. I saw so many people out there crying. Yeah, you're. You're like a preacher.

[B]

Reverend Duron.

[A]

That's your preacher name.

[B]

Have you ever been genuine with somebody and they still did you dirty. I know it hurt. I deal with it every day. But them. Keep your heart pure and stay genuine. Don't let somebody else. That was. Make you be. Karma comes right back around and you'll get what you did to me. Get up on my level get up on my level get up on my level.

[A]

There were moments where I felt like people, where we were at church, they were crying to yourself.

[B]

I don't really have no good memories from church, really.

[A]

I liked. I liked the singing part of church.

[B]

I remember one time they had gave us this little grape juice. And that's why earlier you saw me pour a big cup of grape juice. Which camera was my camera?

[A]

This one.

[B]

Are you. Are you. Church people just know one thing. Now that I've got older. I got my big. I got big cups of grape juice now. Not a little sip. What?

[A]

He's in your.

[B]

He's black. They're gonna think he's with me. It doesn't matter.

[A]

What were you saying about your church?

[B]

I went to church when I was little.

[A]

How old?

[B]

I just was younger. And I just remember freaking out. Like they. They want us to drink Jesus's blood and eat his body. And I just never understood that at the time, as a child.

[A]

Do you understand it now? I don't think I do. I mean, like, what is the. Is the body of Christ and the wine?

[B]

I don't really get it, but I like the grape juice.

[A]

It's really good. And the cracker.

[B]

They gave you a little piece of cracker or they had the little. Well, when you go to the white church, they got the little pretty ones, but when you go to the black church, they just have broken pieces of really saltine crackers? Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I've only been where you have little tiny cute crackers.

[B]

When they had a little cute crackers, you could grab like two or three and I couldn't.

[A]

They Wouldn't. They passed and just everyone is.

[B]

Oh, no, that's.

[A]

I always wanted so many because I.

[B]

It is so bougie.

[A]

I agree. We should. We should protest the amount of crackers you can get.

[B]

Communion.

[A]

Yeah. I love the. I don't know. Something about that grape juice was just.

[B]

It's something about that grape juice.

[A]

Have you seen. They sell that on Amazon. I mean, it's for churches, but people, like, will buy it.

[B]

I got. I just drunk a big cup of grape juice.

[A]

No, but in the little. The little tiny crackers and everything. You drink grape juice? Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't think I've ever met someone who drinks grape juice.

[B]

You've never met me, silly. You never met me.

[A]

I have met you now. For how long? How long? When is the last time that we. When's the first time we met, Austin?

[B]

When is the. When is the first time we were together for the last time? I mean, when was the last time we were around each other for the first time?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Last year.

[A]

Was it last year? It was. It was right before. No, it wasn't. It was right before a trip I went on. I think it was April. Oh, okay. So it was this year. I've known you for.

[B]

It feels like forever.

[A]

It does feel like forever. Since I had my.

[B]

I'm one of those forever kind of guys.

[A]

I want your. I still haven't got your confidence. That's something that I. I want in life is your confidence.

[B]

Well, hold on. If you rewind back. You remember when you first came on the bus? I was super nervous.

[A]

Yeah, super nervous. You're still confident.

[B]

No, I was nervous.

[A]

You can't be not confident and just, like, start doing push ups.

[B]

3. That's part of the nervousness.

[A]

But it. It's just. It gives confidence.

[B]

No, when I'm.

[A]

When I wouldn't do that.

[B]

Well, really, I do push ups. I do them all day because it recalibrates the body.

[A]

Does it? I can't do a single push up. Do you know that?

[B]

I bet you you're stronger than you think.

[A]

I've tried. I tried so hard to get back up.

[B]

I can prove it to you right now. That you're strong. I bet you $10,000 you're stronger than you think.

[A]

Oh, I would. Okay, let's do it.

[B]

I can show you something that you wouldn't believe.

[A]

Wait. Oh, wait. I have to give you $10,000 if I'm wrong. Never mind. What is it?

[B]

All right, stick your arm up. Relax your. Relax.

[A]

I better, like, do.

[B]

No, relax your tongue to the Bottom of your mouth and keep your mouth closed. Don't let me push your arm down. All right, now take your tongue and put it to the roof of your mouth. All the way. Touch the top. No, don't let me push on. Now.

[A]

Wait. Try again. I don't think that. I don't think that was. Try it again. Try it one more time.

[B]

It's just thing. It's just. It's just. It's things about the human body that's just. It's just unreal. It's a mind thing. When we tell ourselves we're weak, we. We give a weak performance.

[A]

I owe you $10,000 now.

[B]

Now you can keep it.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Put on my tab.

[A]

Oh, I can get 10,000 from you.

[B]

No, you can put it on my tail.

[A]

Well, I'm charging you.

[B]

You owe me.

[A]

I owe you $10,000.

[B]

As long as you owe me, I'll never be broke. Yep.

[A]

That's interesting way to look at it.

[B]

You can keep it.

[A]

Thank God. I don't even have an extra spare. $10,000.

[B]

Nobody does. Nobody has money to spare. They might say they do, but I don't have money to spare. I just. If I do something, I do it out of love. I do it from the heart. If it's not from the heart, then they really don't count to me.

[A]

What money? Or shouldn't they giving it away?

[B]

Do I give money away? No.

[A]

Ever. Really?

[B]

I come from nothing. Nothing was given.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If I give somebody money, I'm only enabling them. I'm hindering them from becoming the person that they need to come become. Or I'm hindering them from going through the things that they need to go through so they can become who they need to become. Everyone knows what it takes. Everyone is not willing to do what it takes.

[A]

That's. That's true.

[B]

That's like me. I might fast and not eat for three days. I can't. Somebody who can't go three hours without eating can't tell me anything about discomfort. You don't fucking know what discomfort is, buddy. You don't fucking know what discomfort is, buddy.

[A]

Well, if I can't go three hours.

[B]

Baby steps go six.

[A]

Wait, how. How many hours can you go?

[B]

The longest I ever fasted.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

42 days. Still drinking liquids. 42 days, Kevin.

[A]

I think you'd be dead, but you can live through that. Is that true?

[B]

I did, like 42 days. Just like, literally.

[A]

Did your dad do 42 days? 42 days. Were you £1 by the end of it?

[B]

More than once. Your body don't get rid of. Your body don't lose weight. It just lose waste.

[A]

How? That's. Why did you do that?

[B]

Because I wanted to be closer, to be able to hear the spirit of God talk. Like. Like we put so much bad stuff in our body, so much inflammation and so much mucus and all of that shit in our bodies. Sometimes your. This is your. Your stomach is your first brain. You ever heard somebody say you trust your gut or listen to your gut? If you started putting bad shit in your gut, your gut not really saying nothing good to you.

[A]

Did you want to die over those 42 days? I think I would have. You weren't.

[B]

You have more energy. You become stronger. When the body doesn't eat, you become stronger.

[A]

Do you work out during that? Yeah, you don't pass out. Did you work up to 42 days like you did a couple of days and then you.

[B]

Yeah, that was like. I done did 42 day fast, like three times.

[A]

42 days in a row?

[B]

Yeah, I done did that like three times.

[A]

How long ago when the last one.

[B]

You did, I forgot. I don't do four. I ain't been. I ain't did a 42 day fast in a long time. I did a 30 not too long ago.

[A]

A whole month. You don't love eating. I feel like I. That's kind of. Do you stop being hungry after a certain amount of days?

[B]

Yeah, after, like after my. My second day is the roughest day for me. That's when I get the headaches and the. All of that. And then I tell myself, man, you suck it up and you fucking be a man. No, I'm just playing. But like, when I get like that, I understand that my body is. Is craving food. It's about to go in starvation mode. So I understand that's where the headache come from and things of that nature.

[A]

I could never do that. They were gonna say, yeah, never say never.

[B]

Yeah, you're stronger than you think.

[A]

I'm not. I don't know. I think, fine, maybe if I had no choice, I would never choose to do that.

[B]

I would choose to do it. I'm gonna continue to fast. And like. Like what I just ate right now was my first meal of today.

[A]

I've had six meals today and I'm still hungry. Are you not gonna eat dinner tonight?

[B]

I just ate some, like, two pieces of fish.

[A]

That's your dinner?

[B]

Something like that. Does that mean I'm hungry? Because I'm full of love. I don't need food. It's not a That's like any motion. Like, I'm hungry, I'm hangry, I, I.

[A]

Feel it in my soul. And my stomach says eat.

[B]

That's an emotion. So, like when I, I do that, like mocking this girl that I, I be like, I'm, I'm hangry, I'm starving. I just do that. I'll be mocking somebody when I say that. But I'm not gonna say her name. But it's funny to me how she always starving, I'm starving. So that's an emotion.

[A]

Yeah, I, I, I disagree. But also, does that mean we're not gonna get dinner tonight? Like, me, I think we're gonna stop for dinner. Should I go get it right now? Every holiday shopper's got a list. But Ross shoppers, you've got a mission. Like a gift run that turns into a disco snow globe, throw pillows and PJs for the whole family. Dog included. At Ross, holiday magic isn't about spending more. It's about giving more for less. Ross, work your magic.

[B]

Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just $8 only at McDonald's for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii alone.

[A]

Alaska and California.

[B]

And for delivery.

[A]

I'm telling you, the story of my life on this trip is just trying to find food. Like, why is that? So here.

[B]

I make a hell of a ramen noodle.

[A]

Sold. Make me one. You have the ingredients? Do you have any special pack for it?

[B]

The ones that come in the pack.

[A]

Okay, I'll, I'll take it.

[B]

I'll make a hell of a instant grits.

[A]

Okay. What else do you make? A hollow.

[B]

All we got is a microwave. So at home.

[A]

Do you cook?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Do you actually.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like your daughter laughed. Oh, you do?

[B]

I'm a world class chef. The reason I have the right to say I'm a world class chef because I have a friend who is a world class chef. He said, you're right and he loves my food. So I'm a fucking world class chef.

[A]

Okay. That's a good way to.

[B]

I'm a fucking God in the kitchen.

[A]

What do you cook?

[B]

All kind of shit.

[A]

What do you mean by that? Like, literally whatever you could think.

[B]

Like, we not talking about. No.

[A]

Okay, fine.

[B]

Like, do you cook rice? Not even talking about that.

[A]

Like, if I want like a yellow curry.

[B]

Yellow curry?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I could make it if I wanted to, but I got something. It's kind of like a curry, but it's not.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

It's a. It's just the way that I season with the fermented lemons.

[A]

What the fuck is the fermented lemons?

[B]

It's these lemons that they let sit up and they spice them.

[A]

I love when you explain stuff to me. You use your voice.

[B]

My wife, my Stephen Schwartz.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they season them and they let the lemons ferment and they put butter in it. So it's like the butter takes on the flavor of the lemon and the zaratar and the fucking Moroccan spices and the pink Himalayan salt and the black pepper and the nutmeg and the cinnamon and all of the different spices they put in there, the saffron and it.

[A]

I can't believe you cook. Do you bake too?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You bake Pillsbury? Like it tastes like Pillsbury or you literally put Pillsbury in the oven?

[B]

Yeah. Take them out the wrapper and.

[A]

Okay, so you don't burn.

[B]

Preheat the oven for on three.

[A]

That doesn't count.

[B]

I'm a hell of a baker now.

[A]

I'm concerned about your cooking after that, I. You should start cooking.

[B]

It can't be great these days. It's just. You just can't be great.

[A]

I. I think you're great. I think you're a great person. You're. You're a cook.

[B]

For real, though.

[A]

You do.

[B]

Yeah. I ain't got no choice.

[A]

I can't wait for the ramen you're going to make me. It's going to be the best in.

[B]

The world to die for.

[A]

What is your special chef's kiss? What's your special.

[B]

What ingredient? Everything I do, I make it with love.

[A]

And that makes it taste different.

[B]

I swear to God, I somehow alleviate Better when you do it with love.

[A]

Weirdly convincing.

[B]

For real. Everything's better when you do it with love. Everything. Like this concert. You saw how I gave him a big hug. I said, everybody here, everything's better when you do it with love.

[A]

Does it make you feel special that people pay to literally talk to?

[B]

I don't think that far off into it, but I'm somebody that somebody should pay to talk to. For real.

[A]

Because, like, you're really a little therapist. You don't look real. I might make you laugh.

[B]

Can I touch your muscle suit?

[A]

Cuz somebody made somebody send it in the YouTube comments. What, that it's a muscle suit? And I was like, no, it's not.

[B]

Protecting your energy is not a crime. And people are draining. Like, it's certain people that like, you couldn't pay me to talk to because I would be drained, like talking to this person or I would have to go in, I already just grounded and be like, fuck, you just gotta meditate. Just gotta get through the questions or whatever. I could sit in a room with somebody and not talk to them.

[A]

Yeah, it's not awkward when I first met you. Really talk to me.

[B]

It's not awkward silence to me. I'mma just breathe.

[A]

I felt like I was intimidated by you when I first met you because you didn't really say anything to me for a while until you actually sat down. So I was like, is he going to be so mean? I didn't know if you were going to be mean or nice or how you were going to be. How squared though?

[B]

When you see a tiger, like, yeah, that's a beautiful motherfucking creature. When you see it, like a lion or a tiger is beautiful, but he's not Garfield, you know what I'm saying? He's still a fucking tiger.

[A]

Yeah, that's how I feel about you.

[B]

Yeah, you should.

[A]

No, not by the end. By the end you were a Garfield. You are.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You are not a teddy bear. Yes, you are fucking tiger.

[A]

I think, I think on the outside you are, but like on the inside you're fully like a little tiny. Not even like a cat. You're like a kitten. Do you know?

[B]

Well, I gotta be.

[A]

That's not. That's not what I said. That's crazy. A puppy. Does that make you feel a kitty.

[B]

Kid, like, only in one of our minds, you know, on the inside you're a little, little kitty cat.

[A]

A puppy. I changed my. What I would.

[B]

Why not a teddy bear?

[A]

I just feel like. Because like a puppy is adorable and.

[B]

Like Winnie the Pooh is cuddly. He has a rumbly in his tummy. He likes honey, he's.

[A]

He's big and I don't know, I.

[B]

Think that you're like fat shaming the teddy bears. Oh my God. They have feelings too.

[A]

I'm thought sharing no one.

[B]

I'm just saying the teddy bears, they're a puppy. They're supposed to be plump. That means they're healthy.

[A]

Is that what you think of yourself as? Is Winnie the Pooh?

[B]

No, I think I'll probably be more like a snuggle. Do you know the one on the. Yeah, let's snuggle. Because I like to cuddle.

[A]

Do you do cuddle?

[B]

Yeah, I got a pillow I put between my legs like this. And then I got another one I hold like this and I got another one that go right here.

[A]

It's a lot of pillows for you.

[B]

Yeah, I'm a professional cuddler. I got like a blue ribbon in the cuddle Olympics one time.

[A]

Did you?

[B]

Yeah, I placed first.

[A]

Congratulations.

[B]

I best fucking Cutler in the fucking, fucking northern hemisphere.

[A]

Did you still sleep with your kids when they were babies?

[B]

They still come find their way in there.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, they come talking about, we could watch a movie and they'll come lay across the. They'll come lay across the bottom. Cause I got a big, big, big humongous bed.

[A]

How big? Like one of those custom size ones.

[B]

Slack units. It's like way, like way down there.

[A]

Really? That's really. I mean, good, Good for you. You have to buy custom sheets. Can you. Where do you buy those?

[B]

You gotta make them.

[A]

Who does though? I always wonder when rich people have really extravagant things.

[B]

Whoever put them sheets on there, they. They had to be custom made because they linen.

[A]

I just don't. Yeah, it's just whenever I've looked online for sheets, I never see like a custom option. So I always wonder where people who get custom sized beds. Actually, I've never seen like a custom bed for sale either.

[B]

They got people that make custom sheets, covers and drapes.

[A]

I believe you.

[B]

The guy who made my curtains, he came and measured. Then he like, I got these blackout curtains at one of my properties.

[A]

It's like one of your properties.

[B]

I got a nice, nice little portfolio.

[A]

All in California.

[B]

Not all, but I got some nice. I got a few. Like all I have is the little that God bless me with, but I got a few, few little spots, little honeycomb hideouts.

[A]

Do you rent them out?

[B]

The properties that I rent, I don't stay in. But the properties that I stay in, I don't rent out. Don't lease. Cause I'm. I'm real protective of my energy and it's like I don't want some, some smelly guy just, you know, just laying in my bed.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. He's farting. You know, I fart enough, so it's like this is trying to out fart me and I just, you know, this lingering in my. Honest now. I'm good.

[A]

Papua. You don't run your house?

[B]

Nah, I'm protective of my energy and shit. Yeah, my plants might not like them.

[A]

Do you water your own plants?

[B]

When I can.

[A]

I have four plants that I water every Sunday.

[B]

Did you name them?

[A]

No.

[B]

You didn't name your plants? That's fucking weird. It's fucking weird.

[A]

Like, you name your plants?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How many do you have?

[B]

In which room?

[A]

You name every plant of your whole house.

[B]

Yeah, I got a plant named Little Baby.

[A]

Of course you do.

[B]

And I got a plant. I got a plant named Lil Baby. But I called the plant that because when I got it, it was a little baby. So when I watered, like, she didn't got big now. So I'd be like, what up, Little Baby? Then I got another plant named Big Mama.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And it's like she looked. The way she grew. She looked like a. She just looked like a big mama. And just her energy just be like. She just be like, I'm here. I'm here. Like, no matter how I'm feeling, she'd just be like, I'm here.

[A]

And it's like, what type of plant is it?

[B]

Big Mama. That's a lily. So it's the ones that grow up and come. My grandmother had them. So I just. I call her.

[A]

I. I can't. I barely came out alive. I'm definitely not naming them.

[B]

Oh, God, that's weird.

[A]

I love. I love the voices.

[B]

You don't take them walking. And it was not a chance to.

[A]

Take your plants off.

[B]

You don't walk your plants. That's fucking weird.

[A]

There's no way you walk your plants. I know your daughter's gonna say yes too, huh?

[B]

Sometimes I take. Sometime I take my snake plants in the truck with me.

[A]

Why would you ever.

[B]

Because sometimes they need to get different type of atmospheric pressure. So when I go hiking, I leave them in the truck. When I come back, I set them back. I don't know why I did it. I think I was on mushrooms one day and took the plant with me. Felt like I connected with the plant. Just don't ask me why I do shit. I don't know why I do it.

[A]

I will not ask you anymore.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I will actually always ask you. You take that back.

[B]

I just did it one time, I was going hiking. I was like, hey, you want to come? I was like, come on. And I just put the plant in the truck, went hiking, came back, bought a plan.

[A]

Did you take it on the hike with you?

[B]

No, I just live it in the truck.

[A]

The dialogue.

[B]

It wasn't that serious.

[A]

Really wasn't. It wasn't that serious. So you took it into your car and drove it.

[B]

I did that before. I don't know why you the first person ever told I did it.

[A]

It was weird.

[B]

Kevin, I think it's different.

[A]

No, I think you were on Shrooms, like you said. You probably thought it was like a baby.

[B]

It was fly. It was like fly like, you know, like I'm. Everybody got dogs and jumping all around and look how well behaved this plant is in his back truck. Back bed of this truck.

[A]

Sure, that's what people are. They thought you were like a gardener.

[B]

Just fly. Just. You know what I'm saying? Just. Just sitting back there, just all sturdy and. You know what I'm saying? It's just fly.

[A]

You, you're the most unique person, I.

[B]

Think on this planet for a guy that takes his plants on a evening drive. I. Yeah.

[A]

You agree.

[B]

It takes. It takes. It takes a bit of uniqueness to be like that. I, I get it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I get it. Why would I want to be a lieutenant and you're a piece of army when I'm a lead general in my own goddamn army?

[A]

Yeah. You're a very unique person. I, I. Did you. I just can't believe I'm like about to sleep on this thing tonight with you.

[B]

It's gonna be the best sleep you ever had in your life.

[A]

In the same.

[B]

You're gonna love it. You're gonna love it here.

[A]

I do. I really doubt that, but I'm actually kind of excited. I've never slept in like a little thingy.

[B]

I love sleeping on my bus.

[A]

Do you?

[B]

No. I ain't gonna lie. You might not like it.

[A]

Okay. Why?

[B]

It's just. Cause when I get inside the, like the little, the little, the little bunk part.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I close the curtain, it's like. It remind me of the old days. It remind me of. It just remind me of Transylvania. When you could just lay in a coffin and people didn't think you was weird.

[A]

Oh my.

[B]

Now you lay in a coffin. Now he's fucking. This guy is fucking gothic. No, I just want to lay in a little bat cave. It's like you in your own little cave. So. Yeah, you might not like it, but for me, for my kind, I think it's just fucking.

[A]

Aww.

[B]

It's like you and your own little. And then don't let sleep right here.

[A]

They're actually sleeping in here right now.

[B]

And then you can get whichever one of these you want. They super comfortable.

[A]

I can't wait to sleep. I've never slept in like this before. I've never slept in a tour bus or anything. Are you getting up there?

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

Oh, there's all lunch. Great. Do you own this or do you rent it? How does this work?

[B]

It's kind of like Both. I kind of like rent it for myself.

[A]

How does that happen?

[B]

Nothing is more louder than an unoccupied mind. The silence is so loud when you're by yourself.

[A]

What makes your mind unoccupied? Oh, just having nothing to do.

[B]

You're doing nothing.

[A]

I will feel like I'll be on my phone. Do you not have WI fi? We love WI fi. When you drive. We're not in a plane. I mean, you have service like you have. There's cell towers. We're not going in the middle of nowhere, are we?

[B]

It gets real treacherous on these. On these. On these highways and byways.

[A]

We're sleeping, Kevin. It's not. You said. I asked if you wanted to play a board game. You said no, so. Yeah, well, then we're sleeping. We're not doing anything else.

[B]

He gets real treasures on the Iran east ports. Sometime I count sheep, Jim. Sheep just keep.

[A]

Do you ever drive it?

[B]

Sheep getting stuck right here. I'm like the. The can't even make it over the fence. It's just all kind of just going on.

[A]

Yeah, that's what happens when you count sheep.

[B]

Yeah, sometimes I. Sometime I just see him just jumping. Then there's one that just won. It's always that one. He is just trip and tumble and shit. Then I lose count and it's just like. I'm like, fuck, count these sheep. Sick of these sheep.

[A]

A lot goes through your mind, Kevin. A lot goes through your mind?

[B]

Yeah. An unoccupied mind. That's the loudest silence ever.

[A]

Is your mind unoccupied often?

[B]

Yeah, that's when we connect to the breath. That's when we do breath.

[A]

You like it to be.

[B]

Yeah, I got breathing exercises. I do to calm the mind. Because if you just sit there and say, I'm just gonna. Just think of nothing. That's when the mind starts thinking of all kind of shit. What the. Who gives a. About Ms. Johnson's class? In first grade and second grade, you get to thinking about. What the am I thinking about this for? It's like. It's hard to think about nothing unless you. I got these breathing exercises. I do that calm me and I go straight to sleep.

[A]

Should we do one right before we go to bed? Right now I'm gonna fall asleep. Go ahead.

[B]

I don't think I'm gonna be honest. Like, baby steps. I don't think. I don't think you gon. I think you gonna get bored doing it.

[A]

Just tell me really quickly what to do.

[B]

You gotta take 30 deep breaths.

[A]

I could do that. Go ahead. What's next?

[B]

You gotta have a timer, your phone, and I'm gonna teach you how to hold your breath for two minutes. Okay, we're gonna start with 30 seconds.

[A]

For two minutes.

[B]

Yeah, we're gonna start with 30 Seconds.

[A]

Should we try right now? Who can hold their breath longest?

[B]

I feel like I could go, but no, this is not for you. I just want to see this for. To teach you longer expansion. And it's for the exit. Fight or flight. Like, I'll buy. Like, when you stop. When you stop breathing, your brain go into fight or flight. You, like, you start panicking. Yeah, but that's when you tell yourself, I'm calm. It's okay. Like, you jump inside of the body is designed to keep us safe. So when you stop breathing, your body, like, what the fuck? You not breathing? So it start panicking. Fight or flight. They call it fight or flight.

[A]

I feel like you should teach a science class.

[B]

No, I had to, like, take these breathing classes, and it really helped me. Like, they calm me down. Then I got something that I do in the morning before I go to the gym. They give you energy. Then I got something that relax you.

[A]

So I'm taking.

[B]

I'm a nerd, though. You know, I read about, like, you're definitely a nerd.

[A]

I'm so tired. So what am I gonna do? I'm like, I think it's working. I'm gonna do 30 deep breaths. I'm going to count to. I'm going to hold my breath.

[B]

You're not going to do it, but, yeah.

[A]

I. I don't like the lack of faith you have in me all day.

[B]

It's not there. But you just said, like.

[A]

What did I say?

[B]

You said, you. You. You just said, like, you couldn't go.

[A]

Like, 42 days without fast. Without eating. Yeah.

[B]

You didn't say 42. You didn't say 42.

[A]

What did I say?

[B]

You said you ate six meals a day. You couldn't even go three hours without.

[A]

Eating, so I didn't say I couldn't go three hours.

[B]

I wouldn't want you to go 30 seconds. That would be just without. That would hurt my soul.

[A]

I'm good at swimming underwater.

[B]

30 seconds. Oh, God, no. Not a whole complete 30 seconds. That is torture. I just couldn't.

[A]

I can do 30 seconds, Kevin.

[B]

But you're not doing it on the inhale. You're doing it on an exhale.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

That means you're. You blow all the breath out for 30 seconds. Oh, you don't Then you hold.

[A]

Oh, I get it. Oh, I could not do that. You're right.

[B]

And then you inhale and you hold it for 10 seconds where you.

[A]

You breathe out. And then you hold it for 30 seconds.

[B]

You take 30 deep breaths to oxygenate all of your cells. Then you blow all the out your body, and then you wait 30 seconds. I like to count by heartbeat. So I wait 30 heartbeats, and then I'm gonna inhale.

[A]

You hear your heartbeat.

[B]

I could feel your heart strying out for a minute. You can? Oh, yeah. My bad. What was it?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

He's his party.

[A]

Maybe it's always his fault. It's always his fault. Well, thank you. Are you excited?

[B]

You made me laugh. I was trying to be serious. And then, I don't know.

[A]

Are you excited for tomorrow? What are we gonna do?

[B]

We're doing it.

[A]

What are we gonna do? We're gonna wake up. We're gonna go on a workout. I don't work out, but I'm gonna do your workout.

[B]

Exactly. Doing it.

[A]

Oh, my God. I did it.

[B]

We're in the. We're in the thick of the action right here. This is what we do.

[A]

What's your plan? Right now?

[B]

I don't have a plan.

[A]

Okay, What. What are you going to do next? After we get up, I'm probably going.

[B]

To make a hell of a.

[A]

Hell of a top ramen.

[B]

Ramen? New. Well, don't. Don't judge. They're the knockoff. They're the TEU version of ramen.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

You know, it is not quite like.

[A]

Yeah, it's okay.

[B]

I'll take quite like what you ordered, but it's okay.

[A]

So you're gonna make me a knockoff top ramen, and then you're gonna do what? You're gonna go to bed?

[B]

Yeah, I think I'm gonna hit the sack.

[A]

And then you're gonna wake up and work out as soon as we're in Nashville.

[B]

Yeah, that's usually how it goes.

[A]

Know what I'm doing here? When do you eat breakfast?

[B]

Breakfast?

[A]

You don't do that.

[B]

Breakfast. The. What is that?

[A]

It's great.

[B]

You want me to break my fast? Never.

[A]

I hate that. That's what that means. And I hate that, you know, everything I'm gonna.

[B]

I'm gonna eat now, and I'm gonna use the energy from this.

[A]

Eating Ramen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you have two packs? Because I'm concerned.

[B]

I mean, you know, it was my last pack. I split it with you.

[A]

Yeah, I couldn't have the whole Thing.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

If it was your last pack, you won't just pass. You're good at that. And give me the whole thing.

[B]

You want the whole bowl?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You can't even cut noodles in half.

[A]

Exactly. So why would you want to do that?

[B]

That's like I was going to just share. Like, I was gonna give you the majority.

[A]

I'm gonna eat.

[B]

I was gonna take a little morsel for me. Like, for me. I can't even get the juice out. This.

[A]

No, it's mine. Yeah. I hope you have two packs.

[B]

God damn, man. With friends like you, I don't need no enemies.

[A]

God, that's crazy. Don't ever say that again. Take it back.

[B]

I just did all the work. I did all the work.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I was on stage doing all the work.

[A]

You just had salmon and didn't offer me any.

[B]

You know what? You're in luck.

[A]

I don't want salmon.

[B]

So don't offer it because I ate half a piece.

[A]

Oh, God, I don't want that.

[B]

Three more pieces. Just for you.

[A]

Just for you. I don't even have the. I just say it regular and that's how it sounds. Just for you. Well, let's go to. Let's play a board game and then let's go to bed.

[B]

We're gonna Board game.

[A]

Have you played Imposter? I feel like that'd be funny.

[B]

I get bored playing board games.

[A]

No, it's not a board game. Have you played it?

[B]

No.

[A]

Everybody picks, gets like handed a roll.

[B]

You know my favorite game?

[A]

Did you ask me the question or not? Kevin? Push with the right hand, right side down.

[B]

Oh, wait, like you're just like, oh my.

[A]

You need to get all the green on the corners. But how the do you do that? We're not reading a book. That's. Unless you want to read out loud to everybody.

[B]

Like, reading is a non social activity. So it's like I'm over here like Kevin, I. But I did used to play. I did used to have this thing I did like with women. That'll come around. I'd be like, babe, I just love your voice. Could you just read like a chapter just to me?

[A]

Just have them read your books to you. That's crazy.

[B]

You'd be surprised with people that can't read.

[A]

That's crazy that you would have to be.

[B]

It's like an inside joke. But you'd be surprised to people that.

[A]

Can'T read, you just give them a chapter and then you're like a little.

[B]

Chapter that's right here and they. Yeah, right. Right here. Just. And it's just I be dying on the inside laughing because it's like. Especially when they mispronounce words. I don't know why I'm like that. Maybe that's like.

[A]

What do you think it is?

[B]

Twisted humor. But it's just funny to be. I don't know why.

[A]

So are you playing a game with me?

[B]

Imposter?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What. What does the game require?

[A]

Well, I tried to explain it and you cut me off. Would you like me to explain?

[B]

I wasn't trying to cut you off. But you said a board game.

[A]

Then look at me and let's. Where. What do you. Who are you doing an interview with the floor?

[B]

I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. Look, I was. I was in deep thought.

[A]

No, you're in deep sleep right now. You're not in deep thought.

[B]

Hold on. This. You say it's a board game.

[A]

No, it's not. I shouldn't use that word. Listen. Are you listening?

[B]

I'm listening.

[A]

I actively use this, like, website that basically will tell us everybody is going to get a role. Let's just, for example, say, and one person's going to get imposter. Okay? Everybody else is going to get something. So let's just say the word is like church. Everybody takes turns saying a word, and then the imposter tries to pretend they know the word. So, like, let's just say you're the imposter. So I say building. And then it comes back to you and you have to kind of guess, like, okay, well, let me just say word. Kind of like, this is making sense to you.

[B]

You want me to be honest?

[A]

No, no, really. Can I show you one video of it?

[B]

Do.

[A]

Kevin, if you want to show. I'm so bored. I want to show you.

[B]

Obviously, if you want to show me, you can show me, but I'm not interested.

[A]

I think you might be. I think you might change that. I think I'm explaining it. Bad spot. No, I'm gonna show you. And you can hate it.

[B]

And not like, if somebody be like, I'm a leaf.

[A]

No, look. Okay, I need to find a good one because I feel like. So, look, they all have the word, but they. That person doesn't know the word. Who get it? You're just trying to see how well you can lie, basically.

[B]

No, I already learned. I. I grasped the concept of it, but you just hated it Still, I just don't. That's just not the game for.

[A]

Okay, so if you want to play heads up 7 up.

[B]

What'S his up? 7 up.

[A]

We could all like that. I haven't played that since I was like a child. Really fun.

[B]

I heard a haze of seven you had.

[A]

You didn't play it when you were like seven.

[B]

I might have played it and might have forgot.

[A]

Okay, fine, we can play. What's that other game about, everybody? Uno.

[B]

I ain't got no Uno. Gods.

[A]

They're just. Okay, heads up. The game where you act out things. Kevin, just play a game. It's fun tomorrow.

[B]

And she told me to fix this. How could I fix it with one on? Hey, I got this great game that I play every time.

[A]

So you told me to read you a book right now.

[B]

No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Do you. I wouldn't. It wouldn't be fun with you because your pronunciation will probably be on point. You got to do it with people. That's of the.

[A]

The what of the.

[B]

You people that are of the secular kind of like cultural influence. You know, the secular. You know, those type of people.

[A]

Okay, what's the game you want to play?

[B]

I want to play this game called Fitness.

[A]

Can you make me work out?

[B]

Nah, I ain't gonna make you do nothing.

[A]

What is it then?

[B]

It's just this game I play. It's called Fitness. It's called honor thy commitments, and I'm honoring my commitments of making me ramen. No, I'm honoring my commitments of working out.

[A]

Okay. What does this have to do with me? I'm gonna do.

[B]

You said that's the game that I'm. That's the game of plays. Like, tomorrow I'm gonna play work fitness.

[A]

I hate a fa. I don't want to play games with you anymore. Let's just go. Make me ramen, please. I'll make you ramen. You make me ramen. We'll see whose is better.

[B]

There's not a gang. Listen, these are rations. Yeah. Okay. We are in the. The infantry right now. This is. We are in the core.

[A]

What do you think you have in there? Do you think you have any.

[B]

I got Reese's Pieces, peanut butter cups.

[A]

No, for dinner. To eat. You said you had ramen. Do you not have any?

[B]

Yeah, I got Teemu ramen.

[A]

Where's your Teemu ramen?

[B]

It's not real ramen. It's like teemu. It's like a knockoff brand. It's like from a gas. From a truck stop. It's pretty good to me.

[A]

I believe. I think it's probably made in the same place.

[B]

It's like teu. It's like bougie, but not bougie.

[A]

Let's see it.

[B]

Bless the game.

[A]

You really only have one? It's not what I was expecting. I think even have it.

[B]

So fucking ungrateful.

[A]

I'll make it for you. That's not even ramen.

[B]

I just said it was teemu ramen.

[A]

You said the word ramen. It's literally however you say that word. Th. That's what it is.

[B]

I would have pronounced it pho.

[A]

Oh. Well, thank you for everything. Go to bed. I'll see you in the morning.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Good night.

[B]

That big. Got a little dragon on this.

[A]

It looks great. You should eat that. You want me to make it for you?

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Do you want me to make it for you?

[B]

Uhoh.

[A]

M. Or you want to eat this other food you have here?

[B]

I ain't about to eat this.

[A]

No, this is. Maybe you should have got the other. Do you know the other Ramen's only like $2?

[B]

I don't know, but this one tastes good. I had one of these with some hot sauce. I squeezed a little lime juice.

[A]

Final hobbit. Jesus.

[B]

No, I'm not. I'm not forcing you. Like.

[A]

No, I'll take it.

[B]

You don't have to.

[A]

I'm not being.

[B]

I would never want you to do anything you don't want to do. Like this. Rations.

[A]

It's like this looks. I'm not gonna lie to you, Kevin. This looks disgusting. But I feel like it might almost taste good.

[B]

And be honest.

[A]

I'm gonna. It's disgusting.

[B]

They got some people that look at that as a gourmet meal on this planet that we call Earth.

[A]

I believe you not. This picture, though.

[B]

There are some people. Oh, no, it don't look like that. It look like you eating plastic shoelaces. When. When I. When I do it, it do.

[A]

Okay, There you go. I'll start.

[B]

There's people that.

[A]

I'm gonna start fasting tonight instead.

[B]

I got paydays in there, you know, Honey Bunyan.

[A]

Okay. Oh, look what's in here. Candy. Oh, there's an apple.

[B]

For the apple of my eye. The best teacher ever.

[A]

Thank you. Good night.

[B]

Y'. All. Say good night before y' all go to sleep.

[A]

Of course I do.

[B]

That is so white. What if the biggest stories of our.

[A]

Time are the ones we're not supposed to hear?

[B]

Hi there.

[A]

I'm Ross Coulthardt.

[B]

I'm an investigative journalist, News Nation special correspondent, and the host of Reality Check with Ross Coulthardt.

[A]

Every week, I take listeners inside the mysteries that mainstream media won't touch, from UAPs and hidden technologies to whistleblowers and secret programs.

[B]

As a journalist, I take a fact based approach by bringing you exclusive interviews with former intelligence operatives and key witnesses. Get ready for stories focusing on government whistleblowers, UAP or UFOs, military secrecy, stigmatised scientific research, and everything in between. Tune in to Reality Check with Ross Coulthardt on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.